While She Lay Dying (1/6)
by Paula Sanders
copyright 1995
Dr. Julia Heller
**We came here thinking this place Eden, in our quest to save ourselves. It never occurred to us that Eden did not offer salvation. And now we are banished. The Terrians have banished us. We are unwelcome trespassers on this planet; nomad wanderers, so close to death. New Pacifica hangs somewhere in the invisible distance, waiting for us. Beckoning. It may wait forever.**
The sun was sinking low on the horizon as Julia Heller emerged from the med tent, to join the obligatory evening conference. Thirteen pairs of eyes stared expectantly at her, but she had no good news to tell her friends. The illness which was killing Devon was still a mystery. It was as if something had attacked her entire body, not just portions of it; everything had broken down at once, not in pieces. With Devon locked in the cold-sleep crypt the doctor could not perform any tests on her, and she still had more questions than answers. She felt completely helpless. Her throat was tight with the tears she had been holding back, in order to get her work done. All her training, even her oh-so-perfect gene skewing, could not help Devon. This disease, whatever it was, defied everything she knew.
Alonzo silently appeared at her side and she leaned into his comforting embrace. He lead her to a seat by the fire and Bess handed her a steaming cup.
Julia looked at all her friends, scattered around the campfire. Denner was sitting close to the fire, her dark eyes staring into her drink. She was always such a quiet woman, it was often easy to forget she was there. Baines sat next to her, staring into the fire. Julia noticed that he and Denner were holding hands, though they were trying to hide it. Under different circumstances Julia was certain that Baines and Denner would be Bess's next target for her matchmaking magic. But Bess was too grief-stricken and busy taking care of everyone to think of anything else. She and her husband, Morgan were huddled together, comforting each other. Walman, Mazati, and Magus seemed to be finding solace in just sitting together quietly.
Walman was grieving for Devon, though he tried to put on a brave face. He had always respected Devon Adair, as their leader and as a woman, always backing her up, never questioning. Remembering how protective he had been when Julia had rejoined the group brought a quiet smile to her face. He had hardly let Devon out of his sight and he had become like Julia's shadow. That respect had grown into something stronger, at least on Walman's part. But he knew that she would never reciprocate. He, as well as the rest of the group, knew it was only a matter of time before she and Danziger stopped fighting and realized that they were in love.
Cameron sat on the ground, his back against a crate, staring into the fire. He was still grieving for Eben. He and Eben had quickly latched on to each other after arriving on this planet and, with a little helpful nudging from Bess, had become the woman's first victims, or at least her first success. Added to that pain was the loss of Devon. It was going to take Cameron time before he would come out of it all.
Finally, the doctor's gaze landed on Danziger, who sat with True snuggled against one side, Uly on his other side leaning against Yale.
Uly had accepted Danziger's offer to care for him but he was not responding to it well. He had been very quiet and withdrawn, sticking close to Yale. Julia could not blame him. The little boy had just lost a mother who had been the whole world to him. He was very much alone, even surrounded by people who cared about him.
The doctor's eyes shifted to Danziger. She worried about John. Though, he had done what he had to do, taken over as leader of the group, for the past day and a half, he had been distant and detached, very unlike himself. No matter how much he might have hated what the group was doing he was always there to make sure it got done and to look after their welfare. Yesterday, he told the crew they were going to leave, the morning after they had placed Devon into cold-sleep, but the group had voted him down. No one would leave Devon behind. Julia had sided with Danziger. There was nothing they could do for her and they certainly could not stay here forever. As John would say, New Pacifica was not getting any closer and the 250 Syndrome families were counting on them. But with Devon gone it was hard for the group to remember their primary goal here; getting to New Pacifica. Somehow, Julia and John just did not have the power to get the group motivated the way Devon had.
Danziger had given in much too easily, when the crew had challenged his authority. He did not want to leave Devon anymore than the rest of them did. Julia suspected that Devon meant a lot more to him than any of them had ever realized, especially the two of them. She remembered Alonzo laughing about how riled John had become when the pilot had been intoxicated by a spider bite and gone on and on about Devon. Alonzo's impassioned babbling had hit a nerve with Danziger, and just for a moment, and painfully for the pilot, the mechanic's jealousy had surfaced. Alonzo had also shared Devon's confession, "I hate to admit how much I've come to depend on that man. Maybe even more than that." Julia and Alonzo had privately joked about working a little bit of matchmaking magic of their own, one day. But now it was too late.
*No,* Julia told herself, forcefully. It was not too late. Devon was still alive. The cryosleep chamber had arrested the advancement of the disease and Devon was safe for now. She would find a way to save Devon. She would.
"Okay, people. Listen up," John Danziger's forceful voice broke into her thoughts. He had gotten to his feet and taken on an authoritative stance. "We can not stay here in this valley any longer. Tomorrow at sun up, we pack up and move out."
Julia stared up at him in disbelief. She had known that he would get around to it at some point, but she had not expected it so quickly. She expected them to stay here a few more days, at least.
"We can't leave Devon," Bess protested. "I won't leave her." "Bess," Morgan said, pulling her closer. "No, we can't just leave her here," she protested, pulling away from him. "Devon needs us." Morgan lowered his head, ashamed. John stepped closer to Bess and crouched in front of her, taking her hands in his.
"Hey, Bess. I know how you feel. But Devon is safe where she is. There's nothin' more we can do for her, now." John turned to look at Julia. "Am I right?" Julia felt stunned as everyone turned to her. She sighed and nodded.
"Yes, Devon is safe where she is, for now," she confirmed. John got to his feet.
"Bess, we're not giving up on Devon. We'll find a way to cure this. . . whatever it is," he assured her. "But, right now, we owe it to Devon to keep going," he told the group. "We have to make it to New Pacifica."
*What else are we gonna do?* Julia thought, but wisely kept to herself.
"NO!" All eyes turned to Ulysses Adair, who had surged to his feet. "You can't leave her, here alone," he shouted. John and Yale both reached for him but the boy bolted, running into the shadows behind the tents. John started after him but Yale caught his arm.
"Let him go," Yale said. "He has his wristlock on. He can't go far without us being notified." John nodded, but bent down to whisper something in True's ear. Julia suspected he was telling her to go check on Uly. The two children were, for all their bickering, becoming good friends. True quietly got to her feet and slipped away from the campfire. John turned back to the group.
"I know this is hard, but we have no choice," he told them. Julia balked. How many times had she heard those words? And they were always wrong. There was always a choice.
"He's right," Walman said, adding his voice to Danziger's. "Those families are expecting a fully operational outpost when they get here. We have to go." Danziger nodded to Walman, thankfully. Julia watched as everyone nodded their agreement, but without looking at Danziger, or anyone else. They stared at their feet.
"Okay, then it's settled," Danziger said, then turned away from all of them and went off in the direction Uly had taken. Julia admired the courage it must have taken for him to stand up and make the decision to leave. The romantic side of her, nurtured by Alonzo, thought his heart was probably breaking. She leaned heavily against Alonzo.
"As much as I'd like to stay here, I have work to do," she told Alonzo. He sighed and let her go.
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"This is insane." Bess looked up at her husband, Morgan as she let the tent flap drop closed.
"What, Morgan?" she asked, a little impatient. "What's insane."
"This, Bess," he answered, making a wide gesture. "This whole thing. Devon's the one who wanted to come here. She dragged us all half way across the galaxy, to this god forsaken planet full of homicidal maniacs, an orbiting, schizoid computer, and creatures who want us all dead. Now she's dead and we're stuck here." Morgan babbled as he paced, agitated.
"Morgan, calm down," Bess said, placing a hand on his arm. "Calm down?! Calm down. Bess, we have been here six months and I've already lost count of how many times I've nearly lost my life. Maybe you don't value it but I do."
"Morgan, that's a terrible thing to say. You know you mean the world to me." He calmed and put his arm around his wife.
"I know sweetie. I'm sorry. It's just. . . I . . . I wish we had never come here," he admitted.
Bess did not know how many times she had heard that confession and he always stammered though it. She knew he did not really mean it now, as he had before.
"First, the crash," Morgan continued, off again. "And then, Devon snaps her fingers and says we're all going to march across the continent to New Pacifica. Just like that."
"We took a vote, Morgan," Bess reminded. "Not me. I didn't vote."
Bess was trying hard to be patient with her husband, but all her nerves were raw. Devon was not supposed to die. She defied everything on the chance of life and a better future. How could she die? Bess had not always liked Devon but she had come to respect her and learned to like her. She did not know how Danziger could just leave her behind. Even Julia had sided with him. To Bess this meant that there was no hope for Devon. If Julia was giving up then Devon was truly dead.
"Morgan, Devon couldn't have done anything about the crash. It wasn't her fault."
"Well, it was her fault that she pushed the Council," he said, cutting her off. "Bess, you know what they are capable of. I knew even before we came here. She should never have pushed them. She should never have left the stations."
"She had to. Her son was dying and this place was the best hope for him," Bess explained. How many times had they been through this? She was getting a little tired of it.
"Well, why did she have to die?" Morgan asked, desperately. Bess stared at him, surprised. Then, the full weight of her grief hit her and she collapsed on the cot, covering her face, letting her hair conceal her tears from him.
Morgan stared down at his wife, his heart heavy. Her shoulders began to shake; she was crying. Carefully, he sat down beside her and pulled her close.
"Morgan, she can't die," Bess pleaded. He caressed her shoulder, holding her tighter. He could not bear to see Bess hurting. When they had all been so sick from the break down of the Council implants, Bess had been declining faster than the rest. After Eben died he had been convinced that Bess would be the next to go. He had been terrified that she would die and leave him alone in this hell hole. She was the only thing that kept him sane, wherever they were. He needed her and she needed him; God only knows why, but she did. He just wished there was something he could do to help Devon.
"Everything is gonna be all right, Bess." He could hardly believe he was hearing himself say the words. Bess tightened her hold on him and he kissed her hair. "Everything will be all right."
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"Uly," True called. "Uly, where are you?"
True Danziger picked her way through the brush, searching for Ulysses Adair. The light was getting steadily dimmer and if she did not find him soon, she never would; not tonight, anyway.
*Why did he have to run off like that?* she grumbled. Now she was stuck out here looking for him with no idea where he went. He could be anywhere.
"Ow," she yelped, when a particularly gnarled branch caught her leg. She looked down to see a huge rip in her trousers and a nasty scrap. "Oh great," she groaned, unconsciously using her father's expression.
"Uly, you better be out here somewhere," she said to the breeze. Then, a faint sniffle caught her ears. All of the jealousy and animosity she had felt for the boy melted away at the sound, replaced by empathy and understanding. He was no longer Devon Adair's precious, perfect baby, he was Uly, a frightened, lonely boy, and her friend.
"Uly." True pushed aside a bush to find Uly crouched under it.
"Go away," he growled. True ignored him and sank to her knees, crawling in to join him.
"Where were you planning on going?" she asked. "Nowhere," he answered, then he grabbed the alarm bracelet and sent it spinning around on his wrist. "Not as long as I have this stupid thing on." The memory of Gaal came rushing back to True and brought with it a sharp pain. He had shown her how to unlock it; it was easy.
"Uly, it doesn't do any good to run away," she told him. "I'm not running away," he defended. "Right," she said. "So, what do you call running off when my dad and Yale were trying to help you?" He did not answer her and True did not push it.
"You're lucky, you know," she said, shocking him. "I never knew my mother. She died before I was even born."
"Really?" Uly asked, surprised.
"My dad showed her to me in VR. She was all hooked up to life support stuff, and they had shaved her head. But I thought she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. I wanted to learn everything I could about her. But my dad doesn't really like to talk about her so I don't know that much." True felt the tightness in her throat as the tears surfaced. "You're luck you had a mother to read you bedtime stories, sing to you and kiss you goodnight. At least you had her for awhile."
Uly hugged his knees tighter, fighting off tears. "I want her back," he stated, miserably. "We all do," True told him, touching his shoulder. She wanted Devon back very much. Not just because things ran a whole lot smoother around here while she was in charge, but because she liked Devon. And she wanted to see her father smile again.
Uly was eyeing his wrist lock again, making True nervous. "True, you know how to get this thing off, don't you?" he asked the dreaded question. She nodded. "Then show me."
"I can't do that, Uly."
"Please, True." She did not budge. He glared at her. "I won't go back to camp. I hate them. I hate them all. They don't care about Mom. All they care about is stupid New Pacifica. They're just going to abandoned her. Well, I won't."
"We're not abandoning her, Uly. You heard what my dad said. We have to think of the colonists. And your mom is safe where she is. Nothing will happen to her in cold-sleep."
"Please, True help me get this thing off," he begged. "I just want to go away."
"Where?"
"To the Terrians," he said. "They're my friends, they'll understand. They'll help me."
True could not ignore the voice in her head which was telling her that she should help Uly. It wasn't wrong. He just wanted to go to the Terrians. He was part Terrian. None of them understood exactly what the Terrian's had done to Uly. But True was his closest friend and the one who had listened to him carry on about how cool the Terrians were. She at least understood what the Terrians meant to Uly. Maybe, he was right. Maybe, they could help him through this. She reached over and took his hand.
"You press here. One - Two - Three." The lock snapped open. "True, Uly." They both jumped at the sound of her father's voice.
True quickly grabbed the lock and snapped it shut around Uly's wrist, again.
"True," he protested.
"You're gonna get us both in trouble if you run now," she said. She pulled him, unwillingly, out from under to bush to meet her father.
End of part 1
Story Notes:
Whew! *huge sigh of relief.* It is finally done and ready to be shared. My view of how Devon might get out of cold-sleep. ENJOY! Other segments of the continued journey to New Pacifica will follow. But, please be patient with me.
I'd like to thank Tara O'Shea for editing, grammar lessons, letting me bounce ideas off of her and for that insanely long phone call last week. (tara - you have no idea how much I needed that call.)
This is a work of amateur fiction not meant to infringe on any copyright. . . yada yada yada . . . oh you know the rest, my hands are tired.
I'd like to thank Tara O'Shea for editing, grammar lessons, letting me bounce ideas off of her and for that insanely long phone call last week. (tara - you have no idea how much I needed that call.)
This is a work of amateur fiction not meant to infringe on any copyright. . . yada yada yada . . . oh you know the rest, my hands are tired.