Only In Their Dreams, Part 1
By Carrie Reed
(voice of Julia)
It has been six days since placing Devon in cold-sleep. The image of a sleeping Devon surrounded by the pale blue glow of the chamber has been forever etched in all our memories. Elizabeth had said the planet will reject us--is Devon the first to fall? Our efforts to try and discover the cause of her illness have been in vain. Our only clue to this is a message left by Elizabeth and Bennett in their computer terminal. "Only in their dreams..." it had read. But what does that mean? How can we ever hope to solve this mystery if there are so many questions left unanswered?
Dr. Julia Heller had not left the med-tent in the week since Devon's system had started to fail. Her eyes were bloodshot, her hands were shaking, and her hair looked like that of a madman. She ran test after test, hoping that somehow the information that had yet to present itself in the results would miraculously appear. Julia was grasping at air. In her few years as a doctor, she had never seen anything like this, but she had come to expect the impossible since coming to G889. "Julia, you need to get some rest," Alonzo Solace had entered the tent. "You've slept a total of about 3 hours in the past week, you haven't eaten, and you look like you're going to collapse any moment. Please take a break, I'm worried about you."
"I can't take a break Alonzo. At least not until I find some hint at as to what is causing this. I owe it to Devon. She trusted me with the lives of all the members on this crew. You know how much this mission means to her. I can't let her down, I can't let her....die." Julia spoke the last word so softly that unless Alonzo had seen her mouth move, he wouldn't have known that she spoke at all.
"You can't blame yourself for this, Julia. It's not your fault, it's no one's fault. And unless you take a break, you're going to burn out, and then you won't be any good to Devon," To any of us, he added silently.
"Just let me run these tests one more time--" "One more time?!" Alonzo interrupted. "One more time?! You've run these tests five times. You haven't found anything. You're not going to suddenly find something, Julia, because it isn't there. For once can't you just admit that this is beyond your control--"
Now it was Julia's turn to interrupt. "I will not admit that this is beyond my control, because that would be giving up. I owe it to Devon. We all know what a vested interest you have in her getting better--none. You could care less about this project. You're just counting the days till we get to New Pacifica and you can hitch a ride off this planet. You may not care, but *I* do!" Julia was yelling now.
"Who are you to question people's motives, you little messenger of the council? The only interest you have in this was genetically put there. You think you know me so well, don't you? Well you don't, because I do care. I hate this as much as you do." Alonzo was yelling now, too.
"If this is how quickly you write off the people you care about, then I...I don't want to be one of them." Julia could barely choke out this last reply through the sobs and the hot tears that were streaming down her face.
"I'm sorry, Julia," Alonzo said gently as he took Julia in his arms, "We're both worn out and worried, and we said some things we didn't mean. It'll be OK, just cry, let it all out, I'm here. I'm here."
John Danziger sat alone in the darkness of the night, staring up into the sky. /Take care of my son/ Her words came back to him now. Her voice, so sweet, so trusting. "How could you do this? I can't lead this group, I can't take care of your kid. Why couldn't you just leave him to Yale?" And then like an answer to his question, that day in the spider cave came back as clear as ever, /I hate to admit just how much I've come to depend on John/. That voice again. Would he ever hear it again? Just the thought made his heart ache. "Come back Devon," he whispered. "If you're out there, if you can hear me, you can't just leave us here. The group has come too far for you to just leave now. We need you...*I* need you," and a single tear rolled down his weathered cheek.
"Who are you talking to?" Danziger whirled around to see his daughter standing behind him.
"Come here, True-girl. Come keep your dad company." True came over and sat down in the offered lap. For what seemed like an eternity, neither father nor daughter said a word, they just sat in the bright light of the two moons. "Devon used to love this time of day," Danziger finally said. "She could sit and stare at the stars for hours." True could hear the wistfulness in his voice.
"Do you think she'll ever get to do it again?" True asked, genuinely concerned. Just the thought made John shudder. True felt it. "I'm sorry dad. You really care about her, don't you?" Her father didn't say anything, but he didn't have to, she already knew the answer.
For the first time in a week, Ulysses Adair slept. Even with a sedaderm from Dr. Heller, he hadn't been able to sleep. Still, the sleep was fitful, consumed with thoughts of his mother, but it was a start. The boy's steady breathing was a comfort to Yale as he sat in the tent and organized Devon's belongings. As he moved a stack of papers that were sitting on a chair next to Devon's cot, an envelope fell to the floor. When Yale picked it up, he noticed Devon's handwriting on the front:
To the crew of the Eden Project
To be read in the event of my death
Yale hesitated to wake Uly, but decided it was best and went to round up the crew for an unexpected meeting. When they were all assembled, he told the group of his findings. The group began to murmur. "What do we do now?" someone asked.
"We read the letter of course," a voice answered. "No." Danziger's stern voice rose above them all. "It says to be opened in the event of her death. She *isn't* dead. What if she makes it?"
"What if she doesn't?" Now it was Morgan Martin's chance at sternness. "OK, since no one else is going to say it, I will. We've all been through a lot this week. I think it's about time to face the facts. Devon is dying and there's not one of us that has any idea of what's going on. We can't just sit around here forever waiting helplessly for something that may or may not happen. Face it, if we hadn't found the cold sleep chamber, she would be dead and buried right now. I think we have a right to know what's in that letter."
"I have to agree with Morgan," came Julia's reply. "Maybe not for the same reasons, but this may be our only hope. This is the last link we have with what Devon was thinking before....." Julia's voice trailed into nothingness. Regaining her confidence, she continued, "Anyway, it may be our last chance. If there is anything in the letter that can give us any indication as to what is happening. I need to know. We all need to know. Go ahead Yale, read it." Yale looked around for approval, opened the letter, and began to read:
Dear Eden Crew:
Since you are reading this letter, as you know, my journey with this project has come to an end. It has been a difficult few months, and I will deeply miss the joy of being there in person when you reach New Pacifica. But please, no matter what has happened, you must not give up. I have a feeling that you are almost there. Please remember, there is a colony ship on its way, and the lives of hundreds of families depend on you reaching the destination.
I have never been very good with my feelings. In my household growing up, it was a sign of weakness, but in the past few months with you I have learned otherwise. It's been a long lesson to learn, and I only wish I had learned it sooner, but as I lay here watching Uly sleep, knowing that my days with you may be numbered, I can only think of how much you have all come to mean to me. Each and every one of you holds a special place in my heart, and I only wish I had the strength and courage to tell you in person.
John--The group has come a long way in the short time we've been here. I have to admit, if you hadn't been here to challenge every decision I made, I don't think we would have gotten as far as we did. You are the most arrogant, infuriating, stubborn man I have ever met (believe me, I mean that in the nicest possible way), but you have held this group together unlike anything I could have done. And this is why I am asking you, with the approval of the rest of the crew, of course, to lead this crew to New Pacifica in my absence. I have also asked you to take care of Uly for me. I have seen what a wonderful father you have been to True, and I think you would be the best influence Uly could have. There was a time I thought I could have done it all myself, but he's growing up, and he needs a man in his life. You will do a wonderful job raising him, like you have done with True, she is a remarkable girl. If Uly grows up to be half as independent and resourceful as you, you will have succeeded far beyond anything I could have done.
Julia--In the time that we have been here, you have become my closest friend. Please know that I hold you in the highest respect. Back at the stations, before we left, I was scared for Uly, and worried that it was you and not Dr. Vasquez who would be accompanying us. I was wrong to have ever doubted you. You have proved to be a valuable asset to Uly as well as the rest of the Eden crew. Again when we left you behind months ago, I was wrong. I think I can understand now how much that hurt you. I hope that you will be able to find it in your heart to forgive me. Please keep up your work with Uly. When the colony ship arrives, your experience will be the most valuable available.
Yale--I love you always. Over the years, you have become like a father to me. I have always believed that it is because of you I have made it as far as I have. You know me better than anyone else on this mission, and I hope that you will be there for Uly through all of this. He will need you. Also make sure he keeps up with his studies.
Uly--There are not words to describe the love that I feel for you. From the day you were born you have been my light. It is from you that I draw strength during my weakest hours. I came to this planet to help you win a battle, and instead, I lost one of my own. But never will I regret coming. The pure joy and love that I felt, the first time you ran into my arms without your suit, was stronger than anything I have ever felt in all of my life. I am so proud of you. I love you with all of my heart.
To all the rest of you, the Martins, Alonzo, Baines, Walman, Magus, Cameron, and all the others--Thank you. The sacrifices you have all made have not gone unnoticed. I know I don't tell you how much I appreciate you, but I have grown to care about each and every one of you. You have all given so much to help my dreams become a reality, and I thank you.
As this letter is already very lengthy I will get to the point of it. You all must be grasping at air trying to figure out what has gone wrong. Elizabeth and Bennett had discovered it, but it was too late for them. I have a secret. I hope it will help you discover the trouble. The day before we left the stations, I came across some of the Council's top secret files for this mission. At the time I didn't understand them, but I wrote down the security code just in case. At the time I didn't know the Council's plan for sabotage, or much else for that matter, but with all of the discoveries that have been made here in the past months, it is all beginning to make sense. I don't fully understand it, so I can't explain it, but I'm sure Julia will be able to. I have enclosed the security code to the Council's files. Using either Yale's computer or the one in Elizabeth and Bennett's pod, I'm sure you will be able to get access. Again, I love you all.
With all sincerity,
Devon Adair
For minutes, no one said a word. Many of the crew members had tears in their eyes. Then Julia broke the silence. "Everyone needs their sleep, there is nothing more you can do tonight. I'm going to read through the files, and I will have a full report for you in the morning. Until then I need no interruptions. I just hope these files are enough to shed some light on this mystery. Devon sure thinks so, let's just hope she doesn't choose this time to be wrong." A slight smile crept across her face, and for the first time in days she remembered what it was like to feel hopeful.
Story Notes:
This story takes place after 'All About Eve' and attempts to solve Devon's mysterious illness. I know it's been done, but I have my own theories :) Hope you all enjoy!!! This is my first attempt at FF, so I'd love any comments, criticism, suggestions, ideas, etc. Just e-mail me.
Carrie Reed
Carrie Reed