Kamikaze by Jayel

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Kamikaze, Part 14
by Jayel

I had no intention of falling asleep. As a matter of fact, I had made a conscious vow not to fall asleep. If Alonzo was leaving me forever, I was spending my last few hours with him, wide awake.

So naturally I fell asleep.

"Hey, Doc," Alonzo said softly, barely shaking me. "Doc, are you hearing this?"

My eyelids snapped open, and I sat up, blinking. The clearing was still dark, although a thin line of pale blue light was spreading on the horizon. "Hearing what?" I asked, still groggy, then suddenly I realized what he meant. The noise, a resonant, musical hum, seemed so much a part of the atmosphere around us that at first I hadn't been able to isolate it as a separate sensory phenomenon. The very ground seemed to be singing. "Where is that coming from?"

"Everywhere," he answered, pulling on his shirt and standing up.

I got up, too, struggling clumsily into my clothes. We both just stood there for several minutes, turning around and around, trying to pinpoint the source of the sound. "It's stronger that way," I said at last, pointing toward camp.

"Come on," he said, taking my hand and starting back in that direction.

"Wait!" I drew him back to me and kissed him the way I would want to kiss him good-bye later but wouldn't because everyone would be watching. "Okay," I said, pulling back. "Let's go."

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The camp was completely surrounded by Terrians. As soon as we stepped out of the trees, we all but stumbled over the first of what seemed at least a hundred cocentric rings of crouching bodies. At the center of the innermost circle was the EVE ship. And standing in front of the hatch was Devon.

"Oh my lord," I whispered. "Alonzo, do you see--"

"I see her," he interrupted. "It's okay--that's the dream Devon." He looked around at the Terrians, each of whom was contributing its own note to the weird music that should have drowned out our voices but didn't. "They've brought the dream plane to us."

Danziger stumbled out of his tent, scratching his head and carrying one of his boots. At the sight of Devon, he dropped it, and for a moment I thought he would follow it to the ground. "Julia, what the hell--"

"John, it's all right," Devon called, her voice sounding distant but perfectly distinct. "But we have to hurry. Make everyone come quickly."

This was not a difficult request, as the Terrian singing had managed to rouse even the soundest sleepers. Everyone was stunned silent but alert by the sight of all of this . . . I guess light is the only word for it, but that isn't enough. Everything was sharper--the baby leaves Bess was so worried about looked as if they had been carved in green laser on the white-blue sky. Soon the entire Eden Project had gathered in the center of the Terrian circle, standing so close to Devon we could almost touch her. Almost, but not quite--at close range, it was obvious that her physical self was still in the med tent. She wasn't like a ghost, exactly, or a hologram, but rather something in between. I thought that at least Ulysses would try to touch her, but he seemed to understand her present state more clearly than the rest of us and was apparently content to sit at her feet.

"Devon, how are you doing this?" Alonzo asked. "Why?"

"I came to stop you from making a terrible mistake," she said. "You didn't listen to me--you can't die on that satellite."

"Thank you," John said. "I knew he was hallucinating--"

"He wasn't hallucinating," she said with a familiar smile. "He was just taking too much on himself. Alonzo, if you die away from the planet, the planet dies, too. Didn't you realize that? Aren't you the one who said we are the Terrians now?"

"Well, there's a shocker," said a voice dripping with angry sarcasm. Turning, I saw Tara coming towards us, stepping around Terrians like they might have been so many rocks in her way. "Somebody's got to die, but it can't possibly be someone from your precious Eden Project." She walked straight up to Devon like the rest of us weren't even there. "No wonder the Terrians like you and your kid so much," she continued, standing nose to nose with this dream-Devon. "You think just like them. Shank the rest of the universe; just take care of your own."

"That's an interesting accusation, coming from you," Devon answered calmly. She reached out as if she meant to touch Tara's face, but Tara jerked away. "Tara, no one wants to hurt you or Val," Devon said gently in the conciliatory tone we had all come to know so well.

"No, but you will to save yourselves," Tara retorted. "Hey, I don't blame you. I feel exactly the same way."

"Tara!" Val came running from their tent but stopped dead at the edge of the innermost circle and simply stared at Devon. "Tara, come back here," he said, glancing apologetically at the rest of us. "Leave them alone."

"Don't worry," Tara said, still facing Devon. "I intend to." She turned away, coming face to face with me and Alonzo. "I'm sorry, 'Zo," she said softly as she pushed past us.

Suddenly, one of the Terrians stood up and grabbed her by the wrist. "Let go!" she shrieked, trying to tear herself from his grasp, and Val lunged for the Terrian, trying to push it away from his wife.

But the Terrian wouldn't be moved. He drew Tara gently back into the circle and up to me. "Forget it," she insisted, still struggling. "Whatever it is, it won't do any good--"

The Terrian reached out and touched my stomach, and suddenly I felt a warm glow, like a perfect sphere of pure joy had simply appeared deep inside me. "Alonzo . . . ," I whispered fearfully.

"It's okay," he said, holding me by the shoulders.

The Terrian gently forced Tara to touch the spot on my stomach he had touched. "I don't care," she said, crying. "You hear me? I don't care . . . "

"Let her go," Val demanded. "Alonzo, make him let her go."

"What makes you think I can?" Alonzo asked, an entirely inappropriate grin breaking over his face, as if he could feel my joy, too.

But suddenly the Terrian did let go of Tara's wrist, and she jerked away, stumbling against Val. The Terrian passed both its hands over her head before going back to its place in the circle, and while she didn't look happy, she didn't resist. "This is so unfair," she said, crying. She turned to Devon as if for an explanation. "I didn't ask for this," she insisted. "You're the one who wanted this place, not me."

"Baby, what are you talking about?" Val said.

She looked up at him, tears still flowing down her face, but she turned back to Devon. "Answer me!" she demanded. "Tell me why I have to do this. Tell me what I did to deserve this."

"Nothing," Devon answered. From where I stood, I could see this dream-Devon was crying, too. "Tara, I'm so sorry. You're right; I did want--" She paused, her hand going to her heart like it hurt her. "Tara, please," she rasped, and I could hear the life support alarms going off in the med-tent. "You must do this, you must hurry--"

"Julia, go!" Danziger ordered. Suddenly my paralysis broke, and I ran back to the med-tent, tripping over Terrians all the way. Devon's body was just as I had left it, but the monitors were going crazy. I snatched up my glove and bent over her, frantically moving from system to system, trying to put things back in enough order to hold her a little longer.

"Can you stabilize her?" Val said, coming in. "Is there still time?"

"Barely," I answered, my free hand going instinctively to the spot the Terrian had touched on my stomach. The strange joy had faded, but I still felt a glow. "Yes," I decided, making one final adjustment that silenced the alarms. "If we hurry, we can make it. But Val, what are we going to do?"

"Come on, Doc, you know what we're going to do," he joked amiably. "I'm going flying, and Tara's going to play some VR games." He looked down at Devon's placid face, then shook his head. "She disappeared, by the way," he added. "From out there, I mean. Tara's in the ship getting ready, and she sent me after you."

Suddenly it hit me what we intended to do. "Val, I . . . I don't know what to say."

"Then don't say anything," he advised with a grin. "And congratulations. I knew Alonzo had it in him." He picked up a pair of VR headsets. "These should do the trick."

"What are you talking about?" I demanded, following him outside.

"I'm going to have to stay in touch with my sweetie until the last minute so we can time this thing right," he answered. "That oughta be fun, don't you think?"

"No, I mean about Alonzo," I said.

He stopped and just looked at me, incredulous. "It is Alonzo's, right?" he asked. "Doc, honey, you're pregnant. Don't you realize? That's what this is all about." He patted my stomach. "You're holding the Terrians' ace in the hole, I apologize for the pun." I must have looked shocked, because he managed a smile for me. "Now come on," he said gently. "Let's do this while it'll still make a difference."

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Alonzo and I walked Val and Tara to the rocket while everyone else gathered in the EVE ship. Tara seemed all right, crying a little and holding her husband's hand in a death grip, but reasonably calm. But when he started to climb the ladder to take off, she broke down, throwing her arms around him and sobbing wildly.

"I can't," she insisted. "I'm sorry; I know I'm supposed to, I know it's the only thing that's right, but I can't let this happen."

I started to walk away, but Alonzo caught me and kept me there. "If they're going to do this, I guess the least we can do is watch," he murmured.

"Hush now, baby," Val soothed, stroking her hair. "It's all right--"

"How can you say that?" she demanded.

"Because it's true." He took her chin and turned her faceup to his. "We've had quite a run, remember?" he said, smiling down on her. "It's somebody else's turn now." He glanced over at us. "You take good care of Alonzo, all right? The doc's bound to get sick of him eventually, and somebody's gonna have to pick up the pieces."

"I'm running away with Wolman, remember?" she retorted with the faintest hint of her dazzling smile. She reached up and laid the back of her hand against his cheek. "As if anybody could follow this act."

He bent to kiss her, and then I did look away, burying my face in Alonzo's shoulder. When I looked up, he was inside the rocket, firing up the engines. The noise was deafening, and the smell was atrocious. "Not much like the stations, is it?" Tara said, wiping her eyes.

"No," I agreed, putting a hand on her arm and squeezing. "Not much at all."

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The rest of the Eden Project was gathered in the EVE ship--or at least, almost everyone was there. "Where's Uly?" I asked John.

"With Devon," he explained. "Someone had to stay with her, and he's the only one who doesn't have to be here. Apparently he's not connected to the EVE network either."

"Okay, we don't have much time," Tara said, her voice still rough with tears but stingingly efficient. "Let's get started. I know how much everyone has enjoyed Citizen Reilly's wake-up calls in the past, so I'm sure you'll all be thrilled to hear that this one should be even better." She fitted the VR gear onto her head and went over to her access pad. "You'll have to remember that this thing is literally fighting for its life, and its programming is based on the idea that its continued survival is the only priority. So no matter what happens, no matter how much it hurts, hold on." She handed me another set of gear. "There's a chance I won't be entirely functional when Val checks in," she explained crisply. "Somebody else has to be in touch to give the go. Besides, you're still the only one who knows the way to the download switch."

"Of course," I answered, fitting the gear into place.

"Hey baby, you flying?" she asked, flipping the second eye piece into position.

"You know it," came back Val's chipper reply. "Fuel situation is real interesting--y'all keep your eyes open for a Grendler with a sunburn. I think somebody may have been siphoning the tanks."

Tara glanced up at Danziger. "How much fuel does he have?" she asked, knowing full well that Danziger wouldn't have let anything take off without giving it a thorough once-over first.

He shrugged. "Hard to say," he admitted. "Your gauges were pretty much shot, and it isn't like you can just plop a dipstick into those things."

"Val, are you sure you're going to make it?" Tara asked.

"Sure I'm sure," he replied easily. "I'm always sure. By the way, give my love to your dad."

She glanced up at me and grinned. "You got it," she answered, opening the access panel. "Okay, everyone join hands--I know, welcome to the Sunday school picnic. I'm not sure a physical connection is necessary, but why take chances?" We hurried to comply, everyone glancing nervously at everyone else as if searching for affirmation that this was in fact the right thing to do. Tara started to lay her palms on the panel, then stopped. "Hey Magus," she teased. "Close your eyes, all right?"

I noticed everyone except me, Alonzo, John, and Yale closed their eyes--True was sitting in her dad's lap with her face entirely buried in his chest. Tara put her hands in place, and the holo-screen burst into life.

"What are you doing?" Reilly demanded. "Tara Reilly, you stop this at once, whatever it is. There is no need to murder these people--"

"I'm not the murderer in this family, remember?" she replied easily, studying the data swirling madly on the screen before her. "You're the one who made twelve innocent children into toast."

"And only lucky little miss thirteen survived," he retorted. "If you believe that version of events, which I don't. Who's to say you didn't kill your brothers and sisters out of sibling rivalry? I was merely supervising the experiment. The power came from all of you. As the oldest, naturally you were stronger--"

"Shut up!" she demanded, glancing up from her screen for a moment. Her skin was flushed red, maybe from anger, and maybe from heat--she was already so "matrix-burned," it was hard to say.

"Tara, don't look at him," I ordered. "He wants to break your concentration; that's why he's doing this."

"And where is your fly-boy?" Reilly went on. "Have you deactivated him as well?"

"Don't let him shake you up, baby," Val murmured through the gear, and I wondered suddenly if Reilly could hear him.

"Thanks, Julia," Tara answered, reaching out and taking my hand with one of hers, keeping the other firmly on the access pad. Looking down, I could see it was glowing with energy, but I didn't smell burning flesh, so I supposed we were okay. Suddenly, I felt a rush of energy pass through me and into Alonzo, who held my other hand.

"You are making a serious error, Eden Project," a cold female voice suddenly thundered calmly around us. Reilly's image had been replaced by that of EVE herself, looking terrifyingly serene. "This humanoid's data systems are insufficient for the maintenance of your network. You will die."

As if to prove her point, a stabbing, burning pain suddenly engulfed my head, a sensation which was still far from pleasant but nevertheless familiar. EVE was fighting back.

"Nobody's going to die but you, kiddo," Tara retorted. Glancing over at her, I could tell she was gritting her teeth--she felt the same pain we did. Suddenly in the midst of it I felt a mental nudge, like someone I knew was tapping me on my psychic shoulder, and I realized it was Tara, sending me after the download switch. "Hey Donohoe, love of my life--are you close?" she asked, obviously struggling to talk at all.

"Real close, sweetheart; you just hold on a few seconds longer," came the grim reply, echoing crazily through the sensory overload in my head. "Hey, by the way . . . any regrets?"

"Yeah . . . one," Tara rasped, squeezing my hand tighter as I moved down the "hallway". I could hear EVE intoning additional words of doom, but I had lost the sense of it, concentrating on Tara's voice and the hallway in my head. "That sex thing . . . you tried to talk me into," Tara continued, obviously tiring. " . . . back in '38 . . . . I should have done that at least once--"

Suddenly I felt rather than heard an explosion so intense it ripped the VR gear off my head. I mentally slammed the download door open so hard it seemed to scream on its hinges, but then I realized the scream was coming from me and every other member of the Eden Project as the holo-screen blazed with blue light. By the time my brain had registered "scream--blue--light," it was gone, blinked out into darkness.

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