Ananda by Maggie C, Lilly321

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Ananda (4/5)
by Elizabeth Jones
and Maggie C.

Devon resisted the urge to knock Shepherd and/or Walman in the head with the pistol that was clenched in her hand. One more word about how she would be safer back at camp and she *would* knock them out. //Or maybe I'll just shoot them, // she thought darkly. They were supposed to be out here looking for Danziger and the two of them were much more interested in being her 'bodyguards'. She had never needed bodyguards before and she didn't need them now. Making her decision, she knelt down and adjusted the fastenings on her boot. Sure enough, Walman and Shepherd stopped. "You go on, I'll be right behind you," she said with a fake smile.

//I don't believe it, the idiots actually fell for it, // Devon thought triumphantly as Walman and Shepherd walked off. Waiting for a second longer, Devon then went off in the opposite direction from where they walked.

Soon Devon began to recognize the area she was in. //The area near Dell's cave, // she thought. She decided to check it out. On her way to the cave, her gear beeped. //Took them long enough, // she thought sardonically as she switched off the gear. Devon approached the entrance of the cave cautiously, bringing her pistol up and listening for any unusual sounds. She heard muffled noises coming from the interior and crept inside to investigate. Sure enough, in the main chamber, there were the two men that True had described. Joshua Hapsburg and Michael Berman, Shepherd had said their names were. And there, lying between her and the men, near a wall, was John. Devon bit her lip as her breath caught in her throat. Even from this distance, she could see how pale he was and the nasty bruises beginning to develop on one side of his face. She almost sighed in relief when she noticed the gentle rise and fall of his chest, but stopped herself in time. Hapsburg and Berman seemed to be talking about something, but Devon couldn't quite make out what they were saying. Then one of them, //Berman,// she guessed from Shepherd's description, turned and walked across the chamber towards Devon. She moved closer to the wall, into the shadows, wishing she could move through earth and stone like the Terrians could. When Berman passed John, he took a moment to deliver a swift kick to John's stomach. Devon's eyes grew wide, and her hand tightened around the pistol but she didn't make a sound. She didn't dare. If the bastard would just turn around, she could get out of here and call the others to get John out of here. She'd shoot them right now, but she didn't think she could get both of them in time. Unfortunately, luck wasn't with Devon today. Berman didn't stop coming, and soon he was close enough that if he even turned his head a millimeter, he'd spot her . . . and then he did. Berman was startled for a moment, but only a moment, and he reached out and grabbed her before she could even bring the pistol up. He slapped it aside and roughly shoved her out in the open.

Hapsburg looked over at them. "Well, well, well, what do we have here?"

"I knew they'd show up sooner or later," Berman stated.

"And what a pleasant surprise this is, to have you grace our presence before any of the others," Hapsburg said to Devon with a smarmy sort of charm. "Where are the rest of them?" he demanded, his voice suddenly hard. Devon's only was response was to raise her chin defiantly and glare at him.

Berman grabbed Devon by the shoulders and held her firmly in place. Devon struggled to move away from him, but his grip was firm. "If you don't want to talk," he whispered, his breath hot against her ear, "I'm sure we could find . . . other things . . . to occupy our time."

Devon felt like she was going to throw up. She fought hard not to start trembling, she didn't want to give this bastard the satisfaction of knowing how shaken up she was. Devon quickly brought her foot up and slammed it down on his boot with as much force as she could muster.

It was enough. Berman yelled in surprise and let go of her, letting out a very impressive string of curses that left Devon feeling oddly satisfied with herself. That is until he stalked over to her and slapped her hard across the face. Devon stumbled back, bringing a hand up to the injured side of her face, her eyes tearing involuntarily. Berman advanced toward her again but fortunately for Devon, Hapsburg stopped him. "There'll be time enough for that later," he said. "We've got to make sure we're ready for our other guests."

With that, Berman glared at Devon, and she shuddered at the murderous look in his eyes. Then he turned away and Devon was ignored for the moment. //Oh, Devon, that was *not* one of your better ideas, // she thought, willing the stinging pain in her cheek to subside. She walked over to John and knelt beside him. Reaching out a hand, she laid it against his face. //Oh God, he's burning up, // Devon thought worriedly, //I knew he wasn't completely over his sickness, I just knew it.// She wasn't sure if it was a good idea to move him or not, but she figured she couldn't make it much worse. She tried to make him as comfortable as she could and then sat down and pulled his head into her lap.

"No," Danziger murmured, not opening his eyes, "no more, don't . . ."

"Shh, John, it's okay," Devon whispered, smoothing the sweat-soaked hair away from his forehead. "It's only me." He dropped back into sleep or unconsciousness, Devon couldn't tell for sure. She sat there trying to absorb some of the heat of his fever through her hands for - Devon wasn't sure how long. Their two captors were busy preparing for the assault they believed was coming. Then Devon looked up and saw a face that she recognized from Shepherd's caves at one of the entrances, and then another one, and another one. Berman and Hapsburg didn't notice them. She eased John's head off her lap. Although it didn't look like they would need her help, Devon didn't want to take any chances. In fact, she wouldn't mind getting her hands on either one of those bastards.

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"I swear, once I get my hands on Danziger, I'm gonna kill him," Julia muttered as they walked along, searching for any sign of Danziger or his two captors. Alonzo shared a glance with Denner. Worried, he mouthed to her, and the other woman nodded knowingly as Julia continued her tirade, still speaking to herself. "He does this to us all the time! How can one man manage to get in so much trouble? Of course, it'd probably help if he stopped wandering off on his own and bothered to take his gear with him sometimes."

"Julia," Alonzo interrupted, "calm down, we're going to find Danziger."

"I am calm!" Julia snapped. "And he better live through this, just so I can have the pleasure of wringing his neck!!"

"Julia!" Alonzo exclaimed, trying to get her to stop her fairly impressive rant.

"What?!" she snapped, whirling to face him. What ever Alonzo was going to say was cut off by the beeping of Julia's gear. She grabbed and activated it. "Heller here," she said.

"Julia," Devon's face greeted her across the gear channel. "We have him." Julia heard Alonzo and Denner sigh in relief behind her. "How close are you to Dell's cave?" she asked.

Julia looked around, judging their position. "Just a few minutes away," she responded. The group started walking to Dell's cave. "Tell Danziger I'm going to confine him to camp for the rest of winter for pulling this stunt on us," Julia said, feeling relieved that Danziger had been found, but still angry with him for worrying everyone so much.

Devon didn't even crack a smile at that remark. "Julia! Just get here, *quickly*," Devon said, signing off.

Julia frowned and increased her pace. Devon was very worried, she realized uncomfortably. They reached the cave and Julia took in the scene before her. Someone she didn't know was talking to Shepherd and Devon was kneeling on the ground next to John, with Walman standing nearby, looking worried.

Julia rushed over to John and ran her diaglove over his pale, unconscious form. The mask of objectivity that all doctors are trained to wear slipped for just a moment when horror overtook her as she absorbed the readings from her diaglove. What did those bastards do? Use him for a dance floor? Then the moment passed and the mask was back in place. "I need to get him back to camp," Julia said, trying unsuccessfully to disguise the urgency in her voice.

"Baines is coming with the dune rail," Walman answered, "he should be here any minute now." As soon as he spoke the words, they heard the dune rail pull up outside the cave. Julia enlisted Alonzo and Walman's assistance in moving Danziger to the dune rail. Shepherd finished his conversation and went over to Devon to offer her a hand up. She ignored the offered hand and rose to her feet, wrapping her arms around herself.

"What happens to them?" Devon asked quietly and intensely, staring at the ground.

"The others have decided that they're too dangerous to be left alive," Shepherd said. "An 'accident' is going to occur on the way back to the caves."

"Good," Devon said with undisguised venom.

Shepherd felt a wave of guilt pass over him. He hadn't been able to protect her. "I'm so sorry for what you went through, Devon," he said.

Devon looked up at him. "So sorry, for what *I* went through," she repeated quietly. He nodded uncertainly. "Dammit, Shepherd, you don't even care," she said, continuing to speak in the same quiet but intense tone of voice. "All they did to me was slap me and scare me a little. Danziger's near *death* because of them, and you couldn't care less, could you. You don't even give a damn whether he lives or dies. Or would you prefer he died?" Devon's voice rose slightly on that last question and she stalked out of the cave and headed back to camp, leaving him behind.

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A pall had fallen over the camp. Uly glanced around. Everyone was gathered in the main room, some trying to keep busy, others talking softly in small groups, and still others just sitting alone with their thoughts. His mom was with True, trying to provide some comfort to the worried girl. Uly knew why she looked so scared, both children had seen John when they brought him back. No one even spared the kids a glance. Baines and Alonzo carried Danziger into the room where the medical supplies were kept and Julia and then Bess had disappeared into the room and closed the door. That had been a long time ago, and Uly was starting to get worried. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. Mr. Danziger got in trouble a lot, but he was supposed to be okay. He'd come back to camp and Julia and Uly's mom would be mad at him for awhile and then everything would be normal again. The camp shouldn't be this quiet, and his mom shouldn't look like she was about to cry. Uly walked over to where Yale was sitting and crawled onto the bench beside him. The old tutor put his arm around the boy.

"Yale?" Uly asked softly. Yale looked down at his young charge. "Mr. Danziger, he's not going to . . . die, is he?"

After a very long moment, Yale answered him. "He might die, yes, Uly," Yale said in a quiet voice.

Uly wiped a hand across his suddenly tear-filled eyes. "He's not supposed to die, Yale."

Yale pulled the boy into his lap and hugged him. "I know, Uly, I know."

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Some time later, Julia and Bess emerged from the med-room and everyone was instantly alert. Devon looked at the doctor, trying to get some clue as to John's condition. Julia looked absolutely exhausted, ready to drop. Then she began to speak. "There was a lot of internal damage. I did my best repairing what I could, but . . ." //He still might not make it, // Devon's mind filled in. "If he makes it through the next . . . 24 hours," Julia continued, "he'll make it."

"Devon."

Devon looked down to see True trying very hard to hold back her tears.

"I want to see my dad," she said, her voice wavering only once.

Devon looked at Julia for confirmation. She nodded her okay, and Devon looked down at True. "Alright, sweetie, I'll go with you, okay?" True nodded. Devon took her hand and they went into the room where John Danziger lay. Devon hung back while True went over to her father. True hesitated and then she reached out her hand and smoothed back his hair. After a moment, Devon realized that True was whispering something. She moved forward to hear the words.

"I'm sorry Daddy, I'm so sorry," True repeated over and over, tears running down her face. In a flash, Devon realized that True blamed herself for her father's predicament. She went up to the girl and embraced her from behind.

"No, it's not your fault, sweetie," Devon said, "don't think that for a second."

"But . . ."

"No buts," Devon said, firmly but gently. "What happened was in absolutely no way your fault, and everyone here knows it."

"My dad," True said, her voice breaking.

"Shh, True," Devon said, rocking the girl in her arms, "he'll make it, he has to."

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The scream woke everyone up. It went on and on as Morgan, Bess, Eben, Uly, Shepherd, and the few others who had managed to fall asleep streamed out into the main room of the biodome. When they arrived, it was instantly obvious what had happened. Bess walked into her husband's embrace, burying her head against his chest. Uly made a beeline for Yale, who swept him up and cradled the boy as he sobbed. Tears were visible in everyone's eyes. The terrible cries finally quieted and Julia exited the med-room and went straight into Alonzo's waiting arms.

"I tried, Alonzo," she sobbed, "I tried, I'm so sorry, I tried." Alonzo tried to comfort her, but the doctor seemed determined to blame herself for the death of her patient. Everyone stood around, sharing their grief, but knowing their own sadness couldn't match what the two people who were still in the med-room were feeling. Devon and True were still inside the med-room and they didn't emerge till much later. Devon was carrying True in her arms, and Yale jumped up to relieve her of her burden.

"She cried herself to sleep," Devon whispered, passing her over to Yale. He took her and started walking towards the little girl's normal room. "Yale," Devon stopped him. "Put her in my room, okay?" The tutor nodded his understanding. It would be too much for True right now to wake up in the room that she had shared with her father.

"Mom?" Devon looked down into Uly's tear-stained face.

"Oh Uly," she said, opening her arms and catching him in a fierce hug. She held him for a few minutes and then said, "Go on to bed, now. I'll be there in a little while." Uly went off to bed without protesting. When Uly had gone, Devon addressed the rest of the group. "We should all get some sleep," she said. "We'll decide ^Å what to do in the morning," she finished this sentence quickly and bit her lip, blinking back tears. People started drifting off.

Shepherd approached Devon quietly. "Devon, I am so sorry," he said, "for everything. I was only worried that you would get hurt. I was unfair to you, to John, to everyone."

"I'm sorry, too, I was worried and I took it out on you," she said, trying to hold back her tears. "It's just everything that's happened, you coming to stay with us, John . . ." she broke down and started crying. Shepherd stepped forward and enfolded her in his arms.

"Devon, it'll be alright," he soothed as she cried against his shoulder.

"God, Shepherd, I can't believe he's gone," Devon sobbed, "he's really gone."

Shepherd held her for a long while, until her sobs finally quieted.

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In the morning, they gathered together to decide where to bury John Danziger. A red-eyed True quietly suggested a small clearing on a hill. No one else knew that it was the same place where John had introduced True to her mother, but everyone agreed to it. The funeral was hard for everyone. No one wanted to accept that the strong man that they had all relied on for support at one time or another was gone. The winter passed. Devon took over caring for True, with help from Bess and Julia. Some people noticed that whenever a male member of the party attempted to care for True as a parent would, she brushed them off. Alonzo and Yale adjusted and True accepted them as friends, but never anything more. Every day, True would slip away to visit her father's grave. Everyone knew where the little girl went, and no one invaded her privacy.

Then the day came when they were going to leave their winter camp. Shepherd was on a walk, taking a last look around at the land that had been his home for so long, when he came upon Danziger's grave and saw True sitting near it, crying. Hesitantly, because he knew True still wasn't completely comfortable with him, Shepherd approached her. "True?" he asked gently.

Surprising him, she answered his unspoken question. "I don't want to go," she said through her tears.

"You don't want to leave him," Shepherd elaborated. True nodded, the tears still flowing down her face. Shepherd went to kneel next to her. "You'll never leave your father behind, little one. He's in here," he said, pointing to her heart. "He always will be. And I know that your father, wherever he may be, is watching over you right now. He loved you very, very much, True. Someday you'll see him again, I know it." True was sobbing uncontrollably now, and Shepherd hesitated again before putting his arm around the little girl. Instead of pulling away as he expected, she leaned against him and cried.

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Life went on for the Eden Advance. They left the protection of the black out zone, and while they were faced with problems and sicknesses, they pulled together and were able to overcome all of them. One day as they traveled across the plain, Devon walked with Shepherd behind the main group, holding hands and enjoying the passing scenery. Just in front of them, Alonzo was walking with the children, teaching them silly songs. Suddenly Devon's head shot up and she looked intently at the scene before her, a wide smile spreading across her face. "Shepherd, look," she said.

"What is it, Devon?" he asked, confused.

Tears appeared in Devon's eyes as she watched the ex-pilot and the two giggling children. "True, she's laughing. I think this is the first time she's laughed since - since John died." A few tears trickled down her face and she wiped them away.

Shepherd brought his hand up to wipe away the few tears she missed. He marveled at her, this woman who could love another's child as her own, who seemed to have infinite room in her heart to care for people. "Devon," he said, more nervous than he'd ever been before, "I love you more than life itself. Will you marry me?"

A brilliant smile spread across Devon's face. "Of course I will," she said. Shepherd grinned broadly and hugged her tightly. She laughed and said, "I love you, Shepherd," before she pulled his head down for a passionate kiss. Joy and love filled Shepherd's heart as he returned the kiss and realized that all his dreams had come true.

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