Ananda - Epilogue
by Elizabeth Jones
and Maggie C.
Later in the week, Danziger was finally released from Julia's clutches. Late one evening, Danziger found Devon Adair, who had been secluding herself from the group and especially from him. As he suspected, the Eden Project leader had retreated to one of one of her favorite places in the biodome: the top level of the greenhouse. Next to a window that gave the best view in the place. So quiet was he and so absorbed was Devon that both barely noticed his coming up to sit next to her. One moment he wasn't there, the next moment, he was.
"Counting stars?" he asked, his voice a surprise even to himself.
When he first saw Devon, she was sitting in profile. Now when she turned to look at him, Danziger felt his breath catch in his chest. Honestly, she looked like hell. By now he knew her well enough to know how to read her face, to see what emotions were playing under her cool exterior. Tonight was no different. In her blue eyes Danziger saw many things, chief of which were grief, anger, and self blame. This mixed bag of emotions was no stranger to him. She was in shock. He'd seen the symptoms before; hell, he'd lived the symptoms before.
"No," she said, her voice low and ragged, "though if you found the wishing star, would you tell me?"
Sensing an opening, Danziger asked, "What would you wish for if you found it?"
There was a pause, and then, "All I ever wanted^Å" Hearing her was a strain, he had to come in closer, "the feeling that I... that I...." A pained expression played across her pale, drawn features. Still, she was born and bred an Adair; no messy personal issues were going to derail her train of thought. Her voice barely caught, the flow of words never ran dry. "The feeling that I belonged."
"Devon, you do belong. You belong here with us, with Eden Advance."
Devon's next words damn near broke Danziger's heart. Turning her clear eyes to him, she explained simply. "Shepherd made me feel that I belonged to someone. I mean I know that's terribly antiquated," Devon rambled, "especially for someone like me who's pretty much lived on my own my whole life but DAMN it..." the rest was lost when she buried her face in her hands.
This was cutting it too close to the bone; Danziger was too close to saying what was on his mind, again. For one moment, just one small moment, he almost spoke anyway. The air gathered in his lungs, ready to push out the words that were on the tip of his tongue.
Do all women run away from you or just Devon?
The memory of the Elder's words was like a punch to the stomach; it knocked the wind out of him. Exhaling harshly, all the breath escaping his body at once, Danziger brought himself back to reality.
No, Devon Adair did not need his spilling his guts for the second time that week. What she needed was someone to listen, even if all that person could do was mouth platitudes. It didn't matter what was said. He doubted she was even registering the words, tonight. Simple human warmth was all that mattered now. If that's what needed then he was damned well going to give it to her.
When Devon looked up again, Danziger felt the proverbial rug pulled right out from under him.
"If you don't mind," the Project leader struggled to keep her composure, "I'd really prefer to be alone right now."
Her words floored him. She wasn't going to let him even try and help her! What else had he expected? She was so stubborn - but he was twice as stubborn. He gave what he hoped was a nonchalant shrug and began to rise from his chair. "If that's what you need, fine."
"Wait! Wait," Devon's blue eyes locked with his and the look in them was almost accusatory. "What, you're not even going to try and talk me out of it?"
Allowing the frustration of the week to show, the mechanic threw his hands up in a gesture of exasperation. "I don't know what you want from me, Adair."
Devon backed down from the incendiary nature of that question. Danziger knew he'd lost her again when she stammered, "I... I don't know. Some tired old cliché..." she trailed off.
"Time heals all wounds," he offered softly.
"That's _such_ a cliché," Devon sniffed. Her free hand came up to her face, wiping away a stray tear. Danziger had the oddest urge to lean over and wipe it away. Such an intimate gesture would only embarrass them both at this point in time. His hand stayed before him on the table.
Danziger countered, "Most clichés are clichés because they're halfway right."
Despite herself, Devon let out a hollow chuckle. "That makes absolutely no sense."
Danziger shot his companion a look, what you expected logic at this time of night?
Honoring Devon's request for solitude, Danziger began to take his leave. Yawning for effect, he stretched then rose to his feet. Heading towards the stairway, he couldn't resist one last piece of advice.
"Get some sleep," he rumbled. "Good night, Devon."
"Goodnight John."
Though incredibly hard to do, and getting harder each day, he had walked away from her. To the steps, down the steps, and to the door, each step was heavy. With each step he took, Danziger wanted to turn around, go back up and sit back down next to Devon. To sit with her the entire night, no matter how many times she tried to chase him off.
Still, he knew he had made the right decision. Devon needed this time to herself. There would come a day when he would never leave her side. Tonight was just not that night. "Not now," a silent promise was made, with only the night for a witness. "Not now, but someday." Danziger turned and walked out the door; it shut softly behind him.
-The End-
Chapter End Notes:
Ellie: Hey Maggie, look! Ananda is _finally_ finished, and we're still alive!
Maggie: Yeah, but are we sure they recalled the hitmen?
Ellie: Probably not, knowing some of them. Do you think it's safe to come out yet, Maggie?
Maggie: Nope, we'll probably be stuck in here forever! But then again, they're our friends, I'm sure they forgive us for tricking them into thinking that ending was the real ending when it wasn't and for snickering about the story in chat all these months... right?
Ellie: :::Looks uncertain:::: Uhhh yeah, they'll forgive us. Right guys? Guys?
Maggie: Come on, guys, we were only having fun... you have no idea how hard it was to keep a secret that big!
Ellie: Seriously, Maggie and I had great fun writing "Ananda" We sincerely hope that on some secret level you enjoyed reading it as much as we enjoyed writing it! *eg*
Maggie: Yep, we had fun writing it. *S* I had a blast, and boy, I really have to applaud the people who gave us feedback, it was great fun to read, especially Becky's and Nic's. *S* Thank you so much, guys. (Pst, Becky, can we have our D/D statuses back now? : )
Ellie: Yeah, it was a riot! Maggie now that it's done does that mean we can start on a sequel? *laughing all the way out*
Maggie: A sequel? ::laughs:: And how could we *possibly* top this story? Although I'm sure we could come up with something... *EG*
Ellie: We always do! *EG*
Maggie & Ellie: Thank you for reading our story! :)
Maggie: Yeah, but are we sure they recalled the hitmen?
Ellie: Probably not, knowing some of them. Do you think it's safe to come out yet, Maggie?
Maggie: Nope, we'll probably be stuck in here forever! But then again, they're our friends, I'm sure they forgive us for tricking them into thinking that ending was the real ending when it wasn't and for snickering about the story in chat all these months... right?
Ellie: :::Looks uncertain:::: Uhhh yeah, they'll forgive us. Right guys? Guys?
Maggie: Come on, guys, we were only having fun... you have no idea how hard it was to keep a secret that big!
Ellie: Seriously, Maggie and I had great fun writing "Ananda" We sincerely hope that on some secret level you enjoyed reading it as much as we enjoyed writing it! *eg*
Maggie: Yep, we had fun writing it. *S* I had a blast, and boy, I really have to applaud the people who gave us feedback, it was great fun to read, especially Becky's and Nic's. *S* Thank you so much, guys. (Pst, Becky, can we have our D/D statuses back now? : )
Ellie: Yeah, it was a riot! Maggie now that it's done does that mean we can start on a sequel? *laughing all the way out*
Maggie: A sequel? ::laughs:: And how could we *possibly* top this story? Although I'm sure we could come up with something... *EG*
Ellie: We always do! *EG*
Maggie & Ellie: Thank you for reading our story! :)