"Trust in Love" (sequel to "A Matter of Trust"), Part 3
by Joan Powers
That statement pulled Devon out of her trace. As an experienced reader of eyes, those eyes told her that every one of those words was sincere. A warm sensation filled her as she acknowledged in her heart what she had formerly suspected. That John truly did care for her and that he wouldn't hurt her. She could trust him. He always had been there for her. Maybe he hadn't always agreed with her, but he was there when she needed him. Memories flooded her mind. He had been brave enough to search the Terrian tunnels for her son. He had tried to shield her from the Terrian's weapon on their ill-fated trip to obtain water. Against her orders, he had followed her and saved her life when Katrina had tried to kill her. He had tried to keep the Terrians from taking her boy and then offered his support to her when she needed him most. Her expression softened as she realized that she could safely lower her defensive barriers and accept his support and love. She raised her hand to his face, gently caressing the stubble of his beard and moved her head upward to softly kiss his lips. John was startled at first, drawing back slightly but not completely.
"What was that for, Adair?" he asked, attempting to be casual. "Thank you for caring" she whispered. Before he could attempt to further deny his feelings, she cut him off with another kiss. That kiss led to another, which became deeper and more passionate. With her hands beneath his dark blue jacket, Devon began to caress John's muscular back while he investigated the softness of her curves. Several minutes later, a gear signal from the set stashed beside Devon rudely interrupted them. She immediately tried to pull back from John, but he wasn't willing to let her go that easily.
"Come on, it's probably about Uly" she insisted. "I know" he replied, stealing just one more kiss. Then he released his grip so she could dash to snatch up her gear and enter the tent. As she reached to adjust her gear, Devon attempted to straighten her hair and took a deep breath to slow her rapidly pounding heart. It was Yale.
"Devon, are you all right?" He immediately noticed her flustered appearance.
"Yes... I'm just very disappointed about Uly. Is anything wrong? Any other news about Uly?" she replied. Her tone didn't quite match her words, Yale wanted to probe deeper.
"No, nothing new. I was just concerned and wanted to check on you. You've been through a lot lately. Tell Uly I miss him...we all do."
"Okay. We'll see him tomorrow - we had to stop so the Rail could cool down"
"Get a good night's sleep then, if you can." Devon started to sign off, but Yale interrupted,
"Are you sure you're all right?" "Yale, I'm fine" she reassured him. "John will take good care of me", smiling towards him as she signed off.
"Everything all right at the Dome?" John asked. "Yale's just worried about me" she assured him, while removing her boots and jacket. Devon walked towards him and without hesitation wrapped her arms about his body and pressed her face against him. He began to massage her back. She could hear the thudding of his racing heartbeat. John was halting with his words,
"Devon, are you sure about this ....Is this what you want?" "John, I've felt so empty for the past month and half. Please... I want to feel loved."
That answer seemed sufficient for John as he bent to kiss her neck, then her cheek, her nose,and her tear-stained eye lids. She laughed and grasped one of his hands to place it underneath her shirt against her naked flesh then reached up to pull his face down to hers. The couple resumed what they had started.
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During the late hours of the evening, Danziger awoke momentarily. He was laying on his side underneath a pile of blankets with his semiclad body wrapped about Devon's. It took a minute or two for him to realize he wasn't dreaming. He pulled her closer to him, enjoying the smell of her hair and the feel of her soft body. He gently kissed the back of her neck. Even if Adair pulled another reversal act on him, he couldn't deny his feelings for her anymore. He was far beyond the point where she couldn't hurt him.
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Devon relished the feeling of John's arms about her as she nestled into his muscular chest,
*It's wonderful to be with a man again.* It wasn't quite day light but thoughts of Uly were prodding her, making her nervous. She rolled over to face John, who was still asleep. She brushed some of his curly locks away from his face then tried to distract herself investigating his chest. There was a rather large scar on the right side of his abdomen which she lightly traced with her fingertips. A sleepy voice asked,
"What are you doing Adair?"
"Nothing" she innocently replied. He tightened his grip around her. "We'll see him soon enough. Let me get some more sleep, please" he pleaded groggily.
"Okay" Devon reluctantly agreed.
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Propelled by thoughts of Uly, Devon and John quickly broke camp and proceeded to the proposed meeting sight. Within two hours, they reached the coordinates Alonzo had given them. As they got out of the Dune-Rail, John picked up a Mag-Pro.
"What are you doing?" Devon accused. "I just want to be prepared in case there are any surprises" he explained. They approached the mouth of the cave.
"You follow me" John instructed and started to enter the opening, but Devon objected.
"Why? He's my son. Let me go first and take the risks" she argued. "Adair, I'm not going to spend all day on this" John retorted with some annoyance, "Why won't you let me take care of you?" She bristled,
"I don't need to be taken care of." John grabbed her shoulder and shoved her against the cave wall, pushing his face in close proximity to hers, their noses practically touching,
"Listen, you stubborn woman. I'm going first and I don't give a damn what else you have to add. I love you and I refuse to let anything happen to you. Got it?"
He released her, not giving her time to agree or disagree. He reached back for her hand and lead her into the cavern. Fairly soon, they encountered a Terrian. John switched both of his hands to the Mag-Pro which he carried at his side so as not to appear threatening but have the weapon accessible for use if necessary. The Terrian motioned for them to follow it, so they did.
After traveling through a labyrinth of tunnels, they ended up in a large chamber which was illuminated by torches. Uly was there waiting. The moment she saw him, Devon rushed to him and fell to her knees, hugging the life out of her child. Danziger remained alert, still suspicious of the Terrians and this arrangement. Devon was so overcome emotionally, she spent several minutes just holding her child.
"Oh Uly!" she sobbed. "Baby, how are you? Are you okay?" She looked up at him. Danziger was surprised, Uly looked good. In fact, he looked better than his mother did. During the past month and a half, Devon had lost weight and had nearly permanent dark circles beneath her eyes. Lack of sleep made her easily irritable and nervous. By contrast, the boy had even gained weight and was glowing with health. It was obvious that Uly was overjoyed to see his mom, but he wasn't acting like a typical nine year old who had never been away from his mother.
"Uly, I've missed you so much" she cried. "How have you been?" "I've been okay Mom. The Terrians have been sharing a lot with me. I feel closer to them now than I did before" Uly reassured her.
"Don't you miss me?" she asked.
"Of course Mom, but I want you to know that I'm doing all right here. The Terrians are taking good care of me" he explained.
"What have you been doing?" she asked. "I can't tell you all the details, but I was able to help the two tribes of Terrians solve their problem. And Mom, we've used the spider tunnels to travel. I think we've even been to New Pacifica - I saw the ocean. I left my mark there" he exclaimed.
"What did you do, sweety?"
"I'll show you when we get there or you'll recognize it if I'm not back with you yet." Mention of the time period of Uly's visit brought sadness to her eyes,
"When can you come back to us?"
"I'm sorry Mom, I don't know" Uly apologized. "I know it's hard for you Mom, and I want to be with you too, but it's important for me to be here and I'm all right. That's why I asked the Terrians to let you visit me, so you would know that."
"Do you like it here?"
"It's okay. I miss everybody, even True. But I am starting to feel closer to the Terrians and the planet itself." Devon started to drift, somewhat overwhelmed by these events.
"Mr. Danziger?" John moved forward. "Will you keep an eye on my Mom for me until I get back?"
"Sure thing Uly. You know, you don't have to stay here if you don't want to. I'll take you out" John promised. Uly shook his head,
"When the Terrians healed me they became a part of my life." Several Terrians had gathered in the chamber during their visit, making Danziger very uncomfortable.
"I guess we have to go now" Uly stated, looking forlornly at his Mom. He hugged her tightly.
"Where are you going?" Devon asked. "We're meeting another tribe north of here. I'm not sure what we're doing, but I'll find out." A Terrian trilled and Uly inclined his head. They engaged in a sort of dialogue while Danziger and Devon looked on helplessly.
"The Terrians are pleased that you have honored your promise."
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The Dune-Rail pulled into the Winter camp early that evening. Modifications to their route provided by the Terrians had shortened the journey. Devon had slept during most of their trip - all those restless nights had finally caught up with her. With the assurance of Uly's safety, she could finally allow herself to sleep. The Eden Crew members rushed out to greet Devon and John. Before they could get out of the vehicle, questions were flying at them. John exchanged glances with Devon. He could tell that she was exhausted. She inclined her head towards him as if asking him to share the news with everyone. John held up his hand to quiet the group,
"Uly's okay. He looks healthy and he's in great shape. He says he's learning a lot about the Terrians and the planet and he thinks he's even visited to New Pacifica. He misses everybody. It looks like we can trust the Terrians."
An almost audible sigh of relief filled the camp. True threw her arms around her father to welcome him back while Yale escorted Devon away from the crowd.
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Half-asleep, Devon rested on her bed. She missed John, but was too stubborn to go look for him. She also feared it was a sign of weakness to need him, so she tried to ignore her feelings. A knock sounded on her door.
"Come in" she called, hopeful that it was John. It was Julia, who immediately came over and hugged Devon ,
"I'm so glad he's all right."
Devon was surprised. Before she had left to meet with Uly, this type of intimacy would have been uncomfortable. Maybe Yale had been right about sharing her feelings with others. Maybe intimacy didn't only have to mean weakness or vulnerability.
"How are you doing?"Julia asked. "Relieved, I guess. Tired. It helped to see him", she shared. "We're all pleased that you got to visit him and he's okay. Any mention of when we get him back?" Devon shook her head.
"You look tired, we can talk more later" Julia promised. "Okay,...thanks for stopping by", Devon smiled at her friend. Julia returned her smile,
"Thanks for letting me."
About an hour later, Devon still tossed on her bunk. She was tired but she couldn't sleep. Another knock sounded on her door.
*Please John. I need you,* she thought. This person didn't even wait for her reply, immediately opening the door and entering. Danziger's handsome face smiled at her,
"How are you?" She returned his smile, pleased to see him, "Sleepy." She yawned and sat up on her bunk to make room for him then motioned for him to come join her.
"Let me get more comfortable" he said as he removed his boots and coat. He stretched out on the bed and pulled her against him. He put his arms around her and kissed her temple as she leaned back against him and closed her eyes.
"How's True?"
"She's fine. She wanted to know all about the trip." The couple sat quietly for several minutes, enjoying each other's company. John didn't want to push, but he had noticed earlier that it seemed like something was on Devon's mind. After last night's events, he had to know what it was.
"Okay, Adair, spill it. What's bothering you?" he prompted. She feigned a look of innocence,
"Nothing, I'm just tired." John wasn't buying it. He didn't feel like torturing himself so he asked point blank,
"Do you have any regrets about last night?" "Of course not." She seemed surprised that he would ask such a question. With obvious concern in her voice she asked,
"Do you?"
"No," he replied softly, squeezing her hand. "So what is it that's bothering you? Don't you trust me?" he teased her. She replied with some reluctance,
"It's silly."
"Let me be the judge of that. Come on" he encouraged her. "I'm glad Uly's not scared but he doesn't seem to need me anymore." She turned her head towards him to gauge his expression.
"Devon, that happens to every parent eventually. Kids reach a point where they don't need you as much, or at least they think they don't. I saw it in True before we left the Stations - the opinions of her friends were becoming more important than mine. It's normal. Don't worry, you're still important to him." She felt somewhat reassured.
"He's safe Devon, he's gonna be all right. Isn't that good enough for you now?"
"I guess so", she reached up to kiss his lips gently. He looked into her brown eyes,
"About what I said at the cave this morning.." "I didn't know you were such a romantic guy" she teased. He cleared his throat, feeling a bit embarrassed,
"Well, it didn't come out pretty but I meant what said. I love you." "I know." Feeling a little awkward, Devon fumbled about, "I..um...I'm sorry but I.." John interrupted her, anticipating the rest,
"Don't say anything you're not ready to." She closed her eyes and curled up against him. A little later Yale dropped by to check on Devon. A large grin covered his face when he saw the fully clothed couple asleep in each others arms. He chuckled as he covered them up with a blanket.
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Devon had been dozing off and on all day. *This is ridiculous. I hate feeling this weak* she thought. She had always been a poor patient. Now at ten o'clock at night, she couldn't sleep. She was annoyed with herself over this and other issues as well. Why couldn't she tell John that she loved him? It wasn't as if she had to think about it. Though that was probably his impression of her reluctance. She hadn't been able to catch up with him that day - he and Walman had been working on repairing an ailing generator and she didn't want to interrupt them. The truth of the matter was that she was also reluctant to let the entire camp know her personal business. She and John had agreed to take their relationship slowly - to exercise discretion and get know to each other better before openly acknowledging their relationship before the Eden crew. What was her problem, she wondered. Was she afraid of rejection? That was silly - she had nothing to lose and everything to gain, Danziger had all ready made the first move. She knew that he loved her. And while she would have preferred to focus all her energies on getting to New Pacifica without the distraction of a lover, she could no longer ignore her emotions simply because they weren't convenient. They could not return to the ways things had been before. Besides, she needed John. She needed his love and support, and she wasn't ashamed of loving him. Immediately she realized that she had to fix any misconceptions she might have conveyed to him the night before. She got out of bed and went off searching for him. She spied Danziger on guard duty and confronted him.
"Hi"
"What are you doing up? Shouldn't you be sleeping? Resting up for me?" he smirked.
"I'm not tired anymore" then she lowered her voice to tell him, "I miss you." Danziger grinned, "I miss you too but I can be there in two hours, can you wait?" he teased her. After quickly surveying the area to ensure that they were alone, she pulled his head down to hers and the couple shared a passionate kiss. Devon insisted,
"I have to tell you something."
"What?" She whispered in his ear,
"I love you too. Hurry up, I need you."
Morgan had been in the nearby bushes answering the call of nature and happened to witness this exchange. He approached John and reached for his weapon.
"What do you think you're doing Martin?" Danziger asked indignantly. Morgan feebly cleared his throat and tentatively said,
"I'm relieving you from duty."
"What? Why?' John fumed. Slightly red-faced, Morgan continued, "Well, if anybody just kissed me the way I saw Devon kissing you, I sure wouldn't be able to concentrate on guard duty. Consider it preserving camp security." John's face grew warm. He started to get angry but realized it wouldn't do any good. Instead, he laughed,
"I owe you Martin." Then he left to join Devon.
-The End-
Chapter End Notes:
(Thanks to Chris and Alyssa for their advice.)
//From "Earth 2" mailing list on 25 Aug 95
//From "Earth 2" mailing list on 25 Aug 95