Learning Experiences by Allison McDonnell

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After confirming that Danziger was still resting safely in his quarters, Julia and Alonzo quietly headed out of the main campsite toward the edge of the woods where they could talk without being overheard by the others.

"It just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?" Alonzo bitterly broke the silence after reaching the privacy of the trees.

Julia was exasperated. "My God, 'Lonz! What is Bess talking about?"

Alonzo lowered himself to the soft grass, gently grabbing Julia's hand and pulling her downward to sit beside him.

His voice was thick with emotion as he recounted, "Bess and John went through so much. Everyone that they loved was ripped away from them in such a short period of time, sometimes right in front of their eyes. Both of them were traumatized by their grief and by their guilt for surviving. They also felt an enormous amount of pressure knowing that the Terrians were watching their every move. They knew that the fate of humanity rested on their shoulders. Those first years were very difficult for them."

Julia exclaimed in astonishment, "They thought that the Terrians had left them there to die?"

"No," he corrected. "They thought that the Terrians had left them there to live. And that's exactly what they did. Bess and John are survivors. Against unspeakable odds, they rebuilt what was left of their lives from scratch. Eventually, their friendship turned into love and, for over a decade, they lived together as husband and wife. They even started a family."

Julia's head was swirling, amazed at how casually Alonzo had revealed that Bess and Danziger had become lovers. The knowledge that their relationship had transpired on the Dreamscape and not in their physical reality did little to diminish the impact.

"Adam... was... their... child?" she sputtered, finding that she could barely force out the words.

"Yes. And Bess was eight months pregnant with their daughter when she was taken out of the Dreamplane against her will."

Julia recalled the look on Danziger's face at the mention of Bess' name earlier in the afternoon. She also noted the fondness in Bess' voice as she spoke of John in the med-tent.

She realized in wonderment, "They were happy with their lives on the Dreamplane, weren't they?"

After Solace reluctantly nodded, she sighed in defeat. "And we dragged Bess kicking and screaming back to a place and time that she no longer wants or understands."

"It's worse than that," the pilot divulged. "Injecting Bess with the stimulant caused a terrible chain of events to take place. There was no guide to lead her out of the complicated maze of the Dreamscape and back to her true consciousness. By the time the Terrian had arrived, there was only her body left. Bess' soul became trapped in limbo and she was plunged into nothingness. It was like living in a black hole with no chance of escape. Those few minutes that it took for the medication to wake her felt like months to Bess. She existed in her own personal Hell." He quietly added, "It drove her to madness."

Julia shook her head in disgust over her role in Bess' illness. "I'm so sorry."

"You couldn't possibly have known what the stimulant would do to her," Alonzo assured her. "The Terrians are the ones to blame, not you."

"But what happened to Danziger?" she probed, suddenly remembering that the mechanic wasn't exactly the picture of mental health, either.

"Pulling Bess out of the Dreamplane triggered an accident that killed Adam at the same time. In an instant, John's entire life, his reason for living, was taken away. He wasn't able to recover from the trauma of losing the rest of his family. He was left completely alone with nothing but his suffering and heartbreak to keep him company. It was too much for him to handle and, over the years, his mind began to shut down. By the time he died, he was a totally broken man."

He wiped a tear away with the sleeve of his jacket as he brought to mind the memories of his friends' descent into psychosis. "What the Terrians did to them was sadistic."

Julia was horrified. "Can the Terrians do anything to fix this?"

"Are you kidding? They don't even think there's a problem," Solace angrily scoffed. "We're just supposed to tell the others that everything they went through was an illusion and now we can go back to the way things used to be. As far as the Terrians are concerned, everything is back to normal."

"How are we going to help them?" she posed uneasily.

Alonzo placed his arm around Julia's waist and she laid her head against his shoulder. "I haven't a clue."

__________

Julia and Alonzo concluded that the best course of action was to inform Bess and John about their unusual situation as soon as possible. Because she was awake and relatively lucid, they decided to speak with Bess first. She softly cried as Julia and Alonzo explained the extraordinary circumstances that had ended up destroying her contented life on the Dreamplane and had left her an emotional wreck in the real world. Neither were able to get her to completely understand that what Bess knew as her reality the past fifteen years had never actually occurred. Julia dismally wondered which was the worse news for Bess to hear- finding out that her child was dead or being told that he had never existed in the first place.

Alonzo had just begun to relay Danziger's own tale of woe and his current debilitated state of mind when Bess interrupted, "Wait a minute, John thinks that I'm dead?" She shuddered as the words left her mouth.

Solace nodded. "He thought that you and Adam were killed in the avalanche." He didn't feel it necessary to elaborate on the condition of the two bodies left behind for him to bury.

Bess fought with all her might to keep the semblance of control. "How long after my-," she gulped as she said the word, "death- did he live on the Dreamplane?"

The pilot didn't answer and stared uncomfortably at the ground.

"How- long- Alonzo?" Bess queried in a slightly shakier voice.

"Twenty-nine years."

"What?" Bess and Julia cried out in unison.

Even with the testimonies of the other participating Edenites and Alonzo's revelation that John had died of old age, Julia still found herself unprepared to hear a time span of that magnitude. She remembered her own frightening experience of being left behind after the members of Eden Advance had discovered that she was a Council operative. She'd only spent one night alone in the woods before being retrieved by Alonzo yet she still occasionally suffered from terrifying nightmares regarding her brief abandonment. She couldn't imagine what Danziger had gone through.

"He was alone for twenty-nine years," Solace continued as he raised his head to meet the women's stunned expressions. "All in all, John lived about forty-four years on the Dreamplane."

Twenty-nine years. The words echoed in Bess' head over and over. She exhaled deeply and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"Take me to him," she said plainly.

Julia contemplated the possible negative effect the Earth-res' presence might have on Danziger. She also worried about Bess' response to John's unsettling behavior.

"Bess, he's not doing very well right now. Seeing True really upset him. It might be best to wait a day or two and then we can play it by ear."

For the first time since she'd been brought back to consciousness, Bess wore a look of certitude. "Seeing me will be different from seeing True," she confidently expressed, although her tone was still almost childlike. "I know that you're trying to help us, but you have to believe me when I say that I know John better than anyone. Letting us be with each other is the best thing for him."

She added as her voice wavered ever-so-slightly, "Please, Julia. It's the best thing for both of us."

After conferring with each other for a few minutes, Julia and Alonzo agreed with Bess' recommendation that she be allowed to see John after he'd been filled in on the specifics of his Dreamplane existence. Bess was glad that she was able to keep her emotions in check well enough to convince them. She had no idea if what they were telling her was the truth. She didn't know if Adam was dead or if the two shapes sitting on crates at her bedside were really her old friends, Julia and Alonzo. Bess wasn't even sure if what she was currently experiencing was nothing more than another nightmare.

But if it was real, her pain and confusion needed to take a back seat to more important issues. Right now, she had to harness all of her energies to get to John. Her husband needed her... and she needed him, too.

__________

Just when they thought it couldn't get any worse.

Julia and Alonzo arrived at Danziger's tent to find him awake and sitting stoically on the edge of his cot. It took a few seconds of speaking to him before John acknowledged their presence by briefly making eye contact before returning his unfocused gaze to the floor. He didn't move or make a noise as Alonzo spelled out the details of the unfortunate events of the past few days. Although there were no words of protest, it was clear that Danziger didn't believe any of Solace's explanation that more than half of his life had been a figment of his own imagination.

As Alonzo continued his one-sided conversation with the mechanic, Julia scanned his vital signs. She employed the Diaglove's echocardiogram function to check for heart and tissue damage and was greatly disturbed by the results.

"You need to listen to me, John," she reexplained for the third time, still not able to break through to him. "Somehow, your time on the Dreamplane has caused you to develop an arrhythmia. Your heart isn't pumping enough blood to your organs and your blood pressure is bouncing up and down like a ping-pong ball. I need to start you on a regiment of beta-blockers and diuretics before it gets any more serious than it already is. But you have to tell me your symptoms so I can figure out the best way to handle your care. Are you're experiencing any lightheadedness or shortness of breath?"

Danziger remained unresponsive and his lifeless eyes stayed glued to the ground.

"What about chest pains?" she questioned as her frustration continued to grow.

Danziger continued his silent treatment, compelling Julia to revert to scare tactics in an attempt to obtain a reaction. "Dammit, John, if this goes untreated, you're lungs are going to fill up with fluid and your kidneys are going to shut down. You'll suffer renal failure. That's if you don't die from a heart attack or a massive stroke first. Is that what you want?"

Slowly and soundlessly, Danziger raised his head and gave the doctor a look that made it clear that dying was exactly what he wanted.

"So you're just giving up?" she pressed, angrily slapping her hands against her thighs. "You're going to leave True an orphan?"

"T-True's dead," John said flatly, finally joining the conversation.

"I swear to you, John, True is alive," Alonzo earnestly offered as he stood and took a step toward the tent exit. "If you'd like, I can call her so you can see for yourself."

The mechanic swiftly grabbed him by the forearm. "No. I accepted her d-death years ago. I'm not g-gonna let you bring her back to me just long enough for me to love her s-so you can take her away again for your own twisted amusement."

He released his hold on Solace and let his arm fall listlessly to his side. "I w-won't be your lab rat any more. I'm d-done. I'm through with it all," John whispered.

Oh, God, Julia realized in shock, he thinks that Alonzo and I are Terrian illusions and THIS is the Dreamplane.

"Please John. Let us prove to you that True's okay," Julia implored.

"I don't want to s-see her or anyone else. Add y-yourself to that list while you're at it," John stammered in a spiritless tone.

Alonzo knew that John had come to terms with what he'd thought had been his daughter's passing over four decades before. However, he also understood from his time observing Danziger on the Dreamscape that there was someone else whose sudden death John still hadn't recovered from.

"What about Bess?" Solace inquired.

As he spoke her name, he saw a ripple of emotion flicker in John's eyes. He decided to use Danziger's deep affection for the Earth-res to his advantage. "She needs your help. Now, more than ever."

He held the mechanic's weary gaze as he continued, "Look, I know that you don't believe a word that we're telling you, but suppose, just suppose, everything that we've said is the truth. That means that, not only is Bess suffering because of the way she left the Dreamplane, she's beside herself with grief over the loss of Adam and Eben. Right now, she's as scared and upset as you are. Probably more so. Are you just going to sit there and let her go through this all by herself?"

Julia could see that his words were having an influential effect on John. "She's been asking for you," she added. "And I know that you want to see her, too."

Danziger grappled with his conflicted feelings as he considered his options. If he had possessed the mental and physical strength to react the way he wanted to, he'd be throwing his weight around and demanding answers from these beings who'd taken the form of his deceased friends. He'd ask them why they couldn't just let him die with an ounce of dignity. Why did the Terrians feel it necessary to rob him of what little sanity he'd managed to maintain after all of these years alone? He'd done everything they'd wanted. He'd never given up and lived his life the best way he knew how, despite the hurdles he'd encountered. What more could they possibly want from him? Please, Please, just let this end, he inwardly begged.

But what choice did he have except to go along with what they'd suggested? If he was going to be forced to interact with anyone, he'd want it to be with the illusion of Bess. After all, the apparitions of Alonzo and Julia looked and acted amazingly like the real thing, at least from what he'd remembered. And, on the minute chance these really were his friends, that would mean that Bess would be real, too. He would see his beautiful wife, again. The offer was too much to hope for and too good to refuse.

Danziger silently nodded his consent to their proposal and Alonzo and Julia set their plan in motion to bring the two lost souls together.

__________

When it came to filling in the other Edenites about Bess and John's alternate lives on the Dreamplane, Julia and Alonzo remained tightlipped except to say that the experience had left them both in dire straits regarding their health. Although it was late in the evening, Alonzo instructed Walman and Baines to erect one of the larger tents to serve as living quarters for their two ill crewmates. It was placed at the northern perimeter of camp bordering the large trees to ensure their privacy from the other Advancers. As soon as the couple was situated, they planned to relocate the med-tent directly next to them in order for Julia and Alonzo to monitor their conditions.

Morgan agreed to move in Bess' personal items, although he had misgivings about his wife sharing living space with another man. He was relieved to enter the tent and find two separate cots and Danziger's belongings piled on the opposite side of the dwelling. Julia assured him that these temporary living arrangements were imperative to Bess and John's recovery. She explained that both of them were nervous to be around people and neither were used to the hustle and bustle of a busy campsite anymore. Besides, she reminded Morgan, Bess and Danziger had already lived many years by themselves on the Dreamplane. Morgan wasn't thrilled about that part either, but decided to keep his mouth shut for the time being.

At first, John refused to vacate his quarters, grumbling that he'd changed his mind and just wanted to be left alone. Alonzo came to realize that Danziger's apprehension to move was motivated by his fear of seeing his daughter and the other members of Eden Advance. It was only after the pilot had promised that the entire crew had been corralled into their tents and out of their scope of vision that John was coaxed to leave.

As they slowly made their way across camp, an unseen True and Devon cast their worried glances toward the mechanic as they peeked through small holes in the canvas of the Adair tent. As he walked, John continued to gaze only at the ground in front of him until they reached his new housing. When he lifted the tent flap, John abruptly turned to face the base of the hill where he'd spent a large part of the last three decades of his other life.

"The cemetery's g-gone," he said in a voice void of emotion.

Before Solace could reply, John ducked into the sanctuary of the tent and silently sank down on the edge of his bunk, drained from his journey. He offered no further dialogue and didn't appear to be listening to anything that Alonzo said to him. Instead, Danziger fixed his hollow gaze on the wall.

_____

In contrast, Bess was becoming increasingly restless in anticipation of being reunited with John. She could barely sit still long enough for Julia to inject her with a hypospray to subdue her fluttering heart rate and rising blood pressure.

"Why is it taking so long?" Bess impatiently kept asking the doctor. "Can't they hurry it up a little? I really need to see him."

As she and Julia waited in the med-tent, Bess' agitation grew to the point where Julia began to reconsider whether bringing together Bess and John was such a good idea after all. Before she'd had a chance to ponder the decision more in depth, Alonzo contacted her on gear to let her know that Danziger had been successfully relocated to his new quarters.

As soon as Bess heard the news, she bolted out the door before Julia could stop her and raced across the camp toward the northern woods. The Earth-res kept moving, despite the jolt of awareness that somehow her cabin had vanished and been replaced by a handful of tents. She was wide eyed and out of breath by the time she frantically entered the dwelling, startling Alonzo. In contrast, Danziger didn't move a muscle and continued to stare straight ahead.

"John!" she called to him, relieved and overjoyed to finally see her husband.

She came to a sudden standstill when she observed his unhealthy appearance.

"John?" Bess spoke to the inert form, her tone now soft from fear.

Danziger hesitantly turned his head to focus his attention toward the voice that he had longed to hear for almost thirty years. A wave of emotion swept over him as he gathered his strength and rose from his bed. He could only mouth Bess' name as she ran to him, throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him into a desperate hug. After a few seconds of reflection, John closed his eyes and sank into her embrace, squeezing her so tightly that it took Bess' breath away.

"For s-so many years I've dreamed about this," he choked out. Bess could feel him trembling against her as he buried his face in her hair. "To see you. Just to hold you one m-more time."

Bess arched back to study his anguished expression and couldn't remember ever seeing John look more vulnerable. She recognized how much he needed her to be strong for him.

"Sssshhhh, it's okay, Sweetie. I'm here now," she comforted as she cupped his head in both of her hands.

She tenderly grazed her lips across his before returning to share a deeper kiss full of urgency. As they clung to each other, Bess could feel her own strength beginning to weaken and she realized that she needed John to be strong for her, too.

"Adam's dead," she murmured in sorrow as they parted.

"I know," he nodded. And so are you, John dolefully added in his mind.

Bess motioned over to Julia and Alonzo who had been silently watching the exchange. "They're saying that he was never alive in the first place."

"So they tell me," he whispered.

"Do you believe them? That these past years didn't really happen; that it was all in our minds?"

John gave her a disheartened shrug. "I'm n-not sure of anything anymore."

She surveyed their surroundings with bewildered eyes. "Is- is this real?" Bess asked.

He placed his thumb and index finger on her chin and gently guided her gaze back to him.

"I don't know, Babe," John admitted in sincerity. "But right now I don't care."

They simultaneously leaned forward to share an emotional embrace which led to several longer, more passionate kisses. Neither seemed to mind or care in the least that Julia and Alonzo were witnessing the entire incident.

Because Solace had been privy to their Dreamscape existence, he was understanding, even comfortable, with Bess and John's show of affection. Julia, on the other hand, looked as though her eyes were about to fall out of their sockets. It was one thing for the doctor to be verbally informed that Bess and Danziger had engaged in a long-term physical relationship on the Dreamplane. It was quite another to actually see them in each other's arms. These two people were her friends; one of whom was very married to an irritating, if not marginally endearing, midlevel bureaucrat. And, of course, everyone was well aware of John's feelings for Devon. The idea that Bess and Danziger had fallen in love with one another seemed preposterous, bordering on the bizarre, to Julia. How in God's name was this group ever going to be the same, she wondered.

Bess and John finally seated themselves on John's cot. Bess locked her arms around his waist in a death grip while he looked at her in wonderment. Both were overpowered by their shock and confusion and Bess could no longer hold back her tears.

"I don't understand why this is happening to us," she muttered between sobs as John tried to console her. "I want my life back. I want our lives back."

Julia and Alonzo pulled up crates next to them and sat down.

"Bess, I can't tell you how sorry I am for both of you," Julia expressed. "I know that it's going to be a difficult transition, but we'll do whatever we can to help you. I think that the first step is to recognize that what took place on the Dreamplane wasn't real."

Bess' eyes narrowed and her voice became charged with anger. "Well, that's easy for you to say because you weren't there! We were," she declared, digging her thumb into her chest. "It was plenty real to us and I can't dismiss fifteen years of my life or forty-four years of John's life just because you say so."

John nodded his head in concurrence before Alonzo relayed, "I know that it's going to be a tough road ahead for all of us, but-"

"'But' what?" Bess cut him off harshly. "Do you honestly think that we can turn back the clock like nothing happened? Do you expect me to go back to being Morgan's wife? Morgan is dead to me. I came to terms with that a long time ago. My place is with John. I've spent over a third of my life with him. He's my husband. The father of my children-" Her voice began to crack and her hostility was abruptly replaced by despair as she remembered Adam and Eben. She turned her woeful gaze toward Danziger.

"Please don't let them separate us, John," she whimpered in a tormented tone. "You're all I have left."

John wanted nothing more than to be able to calm Bess' fears and take away her suffering. He wished that he could say that the worst was over and assure her that better futures lay ahead for them on the horizon. Unfortunately, he knew better. Therefore, he remained silent and instead pulled her close to lightly kiss her forehead.

"No one's going to try to keep you two apart," Alonzo stated after perceiving that Danziger wasn't planning to offer any words of comfort. "Let's just take this all very slowly, okay?"

"You both have been through a terrible trauma. Right now, I think that you should concentrate on healing yourselves. The other matters we'll deal with later," Julia pointed out as she stood up. She had to admit that she was feeling a bit overwhelmed, herself. "It's almost midnight and I'm sure that you two are exhausted. Why don't you try to get some rest."

"Julia," Danziger uttered. There was uncertainty in his voice when he spoke her name, as if he was unsure whether or not it was really her. "You were right about what you said before," he softly disclosed. "You know, about me not feeling so good. Do you think that m-maybe you could give me something for it?"

"John, Honey, are you sick?" Bess asked him with doe-eyed innocence, her temperament now relaxed. "You don't look well," she remarked as she felt his brow for signs of a fever.

"I'm fine, Sweetheart," he relayed in an awkward tone as he gently removed her hand. "Just a little t-tired, that's all. Julia's gonna fix me up, right Doc?"

Julia was relieved that Danziger was finally consenting to medical treatment and was about to ask for more information regarding his symptoms, but decided to hold off. She could tell by the cautious expression on John's face that he didn't want to go into detail about his health and risk further upsetting Bess. After briefly examining him, she administered an injection of beta-blockers to slow the swelling of his heart.

"I'll check on you in the morning and we'll see if we need to increase the dosage," she calmly related before replacing the hypogun in her med- bag.

"And we'll bring you breakfast," Alonzo suggested. "That is, unless you want to eat with the group in the meal tent."

"No," came the unified response.

Bess and John directed their gazes toward the ground at the staggering prospect of reconnecting with their long-believed dead friends and family. So much has changed, both thought to themselves.

"We can't face the others just yet," the Earth-res sighed dejectedly. "Maybe in a few days."

"You know, you're not going to be able to hide from them forever," Julia rationalized as she and Alonzo made their way toward the tent's exit.

Bess and John exchanged a troubled look. "Don't be so sure," John muttered under his breath.

__________

The following two days, Bess and John were true to their statement and remained secluded in their tent. They refused all visitors with the exception of Julia and Alonzo and attempted to keep their visits as short as possible. Danziger concentrated all of his efforts on the Herculean task of shielding Bess from the pain and confusion of the outside world. The same world that neither of them were so sure really existed outside of their own minds.

Bess was barely able to remain in control of her emotions and sometimes her unpredictable behavior would sway drastically in very short spans of time. She would be nearly inconsolable over the loss of her children only to suddenly become full of rage at the futility of their current circumstances. She was often genuinely confused and several times John was forced to remind her of where they were and why.

Danziger seemed to be the only person who could ease Bess' anxiety and severe depression. He tried to keep her occupied by playing cards, retelling old stories about their youth, even talking about the 'old days' on G889. Sometimes it just came down to John gingerly rocking her as she cried in his arms. Danziger never shed a tear.

Unfortunately, it was becoming apparent to Julia and Alonzo that the combination of incomprehensible loss and unbearable years of solitude had taken an expensive toll on the mechanic. Although he was more talkative and stuttered much less frequently when Bess was around, John was physically and emotionally depleted to the point that he was having trouble functioning. Often if Bess' attention was diverted elsewhere, Danziger would regress into a catatonic state similar to the spells he'd suffered from during his final years on the Dreamplane. It would sometimes take several seconds for them to rouse him from his self-induced trance. When he would finally snap back to consciousness, he would gape at them with a frightened expression until he caught sight of Bess. Tears would fill the Earth-res' eyes as she comforted John and assured him that he wasn't alone.

"Life... death... it doesn't matter, Sweetheart. We'll always be together," she pledged with conviction. "I promise that I'll never leave you, again."

For Julia and Alonzo, it was an agonizing scene to watch as their two close friends seemed to be fading away before their eyes. And nothing could be done.

_____

Perched under a tree not too far from their tent, Devon, True and Morgan sat in vigilance as they awaited any new information about their loved ones.

"This is getting ridiculous. Why won't they let us visit them?"

"I don't know, Morgan, but I'm sure that they have their reasons," Devon replied calmly, though she was inwardly concerned as to what those reasons might be. She squeezed True's hand in a soothing gesture. "I'll talk to Julia and see if maybe Bess and your dad can join us for supper tonight."

"Yeah. That'd be nice," she said hopefully. "And if they're too sick to come out, we can bring them dinner instead. That way, at least we'd get to see 'em." True leaned her head against Devon's shoulder and sadly exhaled. "I miss Dad so much."

Devon let out a sigh and quietly revealed, "I know, Honey. I miss him a lot, too."

Despite her worries, Devon closed her eyes and treasured the warming rays of the afternoon sun which edged through the myriad of tangled branches above her. Strange, she thought to herself. A few days ago, she would have sought the shade of a different tree; preferably one with broad, umbrella-like limbs that would completely screen out the sun and everything else around her. But now, she yearned to feel the light on her face as well as seek out the company of people who, until very recently, she had been avoiding. And, most of all, Devon wanted to spend time with John Danziger.

People can change... sometimes more than once. Back on the Stations, Devon Adair had been an unapologetic and uncompromising captain of industry, proud of her ability to make even the most confident businessmen quake in their boots. With the exception of Yale, she didn't feel the necessity of having friends. And aside from her dream lover, Shepard, she didn't want the complication of engaging in physical relationships with men; at least, any long-term associations, that is. Sex was simply used as another tool of manipulation, albeit one of the more pleasurable ones, to get what she wanted. And when she'd chosen to produce an heir to her fortune, it was how she got her son.

However, after Uly was born with the Syndrome, her priorities regarding the importance of her business changed. Devon became an infamous thorn in the side of the government regarding bringing recognition to a disease that, until then, few had dared to speak openly about. When she'd decided that the only remedy for her son's illness was to leave the Stations in search of a new world, the Council didn't exactly see eye to eye with her. Devon's refusal to yield in the face of every obstacle the government threw in front of her had only caused her notoriety to become what legends are made of. And she basked in her role.

However, things went wildly off-course (literally) when they crashed on G889. Devon found herself faced with problems that couldn't be solved by staging a boardroom tirade or with sending a heated cyber-memo. For the first time, circumstances compelled her to curb her normally autocratic style of leadership and allow it to evolve into a more balanced partnership with the members in her group. She had gradually learned to listen and permitted herself to be influenced by the opinions of others as well as her own emotions. She'd learned to trust (some would say too much at times). Despite the dangers that seemed to lurk around every corner, she was shocked at how happy her life had become after she'd lowered her defenses and opened her heart to friendship. At one point, she'd even entertained the notion of love.

Then, her friends started to get sick and everything changed. She watched helplessly as all of the people whom she'd come to deeply care about slowly began to die. Not too long afterward, Eben became the first casualty of the mysterious disease. Devon's new outlook was further threatened when they'd learned of the existence of Eve and about the malfunction of the bio-stat chips. Even when the implants were repaired and the others were restored to health, Elizabeth Anson cryptically forewarned them that humans wouldn't survive on the planet. Moreover, Devon remained ill for no apparent reason and continued to worsen until she collapsed in a heap behind her tent. She laid there, helpless and unable to move, listening to her crewmates debate on how to best help her before it was too late. As they placed her in her icy tomb, the sober realization hit her. There was no doubt about it- Devon had somehow lost control of the entire situation.

When she was finally healed two months later, Devon emerged with a whole new perspective on life. Gone was the optimism and willingness to cooperate, along with the desire for companionship besides what Uly and Yale could provide. She was all business and purposefully cut herself off from the other Edenites. She'd deduced that permitting herself to have personal feelings for the members of Eden Advance would only open her up to pain and heartbreak and she didn't need the distraction. New Pacifica and her son were the most important things in her life and she grudgingly endured the presence of the others as a necessary means to an end.

But now, her eyes had been reopened after learning another powerful lesson. Few people are graced with the gift of another chance at life. Yet, somehow, she'd been lucky enough to be given, not just a second, but a third chance to live.

Although her time on the Dreamplane had been short, it had shaken her beyond anything she could ever have imagined and had provided her with a lifetime of knowledge. It was a reawakening of gargantuan proportions; not only because she'd returned to find Uly and herself alive, but because of the intense joy she'd felt when seeing Alonzo, Julia, Morgan and True safe, too. Devon reevaluated how much their friendships truly meant to her and the void that would have been left in her heart in they had indeed died at the hands of the Terrians as she had previously been led to believe. She'd immediately felt another shift in her priorities; this time focusing on the emotional fulfillment she received from the crew of Eden Advance.

She had tended to the people whom she now regarded as friends as each awoke after 'dying' on the Dreamscape. She'd listened to their stories and helped to clarify their current confusion over what was real versus an illusion. The majority of Devon's time was spent with a frightened True as she remained with her comatose father in their quarters. They both sat with John at his bedside and took turns sleeping to ensure that someone would be with him when he woke up. On the Dreamplane, John's agonized face as he'd valiantly tried to save her was the last image Devon had seen before the Terrians had returned her to consciousness. Yale and the others had also relayed Danziger's intense grief over her and True's supposed deaths. She was also incredibly proud of John that he, along with Bess, had eventually taken charge of the remaining group and he'd done everything in his power to keep the others alive.

Devon found herself remembering all of the other times he'd been there for her over the past months, whether she'd wanted him to be or not. Even after she'd rebuffed his advances a few weeks earlier, Danziger continued to watch over her and Uly, though it was more at a distance. Thinking back, she now wished that she'd dealt with his declaration of affection for her a bit more diplomatically than she had. In truth, she hadn't exactly been treating him very well since she was released from cold-sleep. However, as she sat there studying his rugged features, she had made the important decision to rectify the situation when he returned from the Dreamscape. As soon as he opened his eyes, she would apologize for her negative attitude toward him and offer a truce. More than that, she would admit to John that she really did want him in her life. Devon would confess that she had fallen in love with him.

Unfortunately, Danziger didn't return from the Dreamplane as soon as everyone had hoped. In fact, he didn't come back at all. Devon had fought hard in favor of administering the dose of stimulants to John, but had respected True's decision to wait. It had initially seemed to be the correct choice to make after Bess had become practically unhinged after being given the injection.

However, now John was awake and suffering from delusional behavior as well. Moreover, Devon was restricted from visiting him. He'd even refused to speak to her and True on gear. She was at a complete loss as to what to do. Although never known as a patient woman, Devon had honored his wishes and granted Bess and Danziger their privacy. So far. Hopefully, Julia would find a way to get through to them soon. If not, Devon was going to have to resort to more extreme measures to see the man whom she now planned on spending the rest of her life with.

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