Learning Experiences by Allison McDonnell

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Danziger knew that Julia was correct when she'd expressed that he and Bess would not be able to hide from the members of Eden Advance forever. Although her depression remained, Bess' bouts of discomposure had been lessening in degree and there were wider gaps between her breaks with reality. John was still having plenty of trouble deciphering the difference between what was real and unreal. However, as long as Bess was around to take care of (and to take care of him), he was generally able to hold himself together. Though he tried to conceal it the best he could, Danziger was also keenly aware of the seriousness of his physical illness. Despite Julia's best efforts, he knew that his heart was continuing to weaken. Because of this, John understood how essential it was that Bess be reintegrated with the people who were going to be responsible for her care after he was gone. Therefore, he reluctantly decided that they would join the group by the campfire that evening, if only for a few minutes.

There was tension in the air as Bess and Danziger exited their asylum and made their way toward the light at the center of camp where the other colonists were gathered. They were escorted by Alonzo and Julia, who'd made sure to keep a sedative in the pocket of her jacket just in case Bess became overly agitated. It had been determined that, at least for the time being, Bess and John's personal relationship would remain a secret. Consequently, Danziger took a seat away from the Earth-res, but still made certain that she was clearly in view. Morgan approached and silently sat next to an uneasy Bess who immediately scooted herself closer to Julia. The dejected look on the bureaucrat's face was heartbreaking when he'd also noticed that Bess had removed his wedding band from her finger.

True apprehensively pulled up a crate next to her father. As happy as she was to finally see him, she was unnerved by his appearance. He just didn't look right.

"Hi, Daddy," she greeted.

"Hello, T-True," he matter-of-factly stated as he stared at the dancing flames.

Devon joined the pair and held out a steaming mug in his direction. "I thought you might like some coffee."

After a few seconds, John slowly turned to her and took the cup. She was immediately aware of the dark circles under his eyes and his shaking hand as he brought the brew to his lips.

"Thank you," came the robotic reply and the mechanic turned back toward the fire.

An uncomfortable stillness followed before Cameron decided to break the ice. "You know, I-" He started again after putting his arm around Denner. "We really want to thank you for all that you did for us on the Dreamplane."

"You two did an amazing job of trying to keep us alive," Denner agreed.

Danziger didn't veer his attention from the blaze in front of him. "Apparently n-not amazing enough. You're all dead," he gruffly announced. No one missed that he was speaking about their deaths in the present tense.

Yale and Devon looked at each other questioningly. "You did the best that you could," the tutor pointed out. "Apparently, our survival skills were not as strong as yours and Bess'."

Bess and Danziger continued to stare straight ahead in silence.

Walman and Magus exchanged a guilty glance. "I guess that we should've tried harder to stick around," Magus said.

"Yes, you should have," Bess replied bluntly causing True to make a mental note to herself that the Earth-res didn't look or sound right, either.

An unusually flustered Devon expressed, "Look, I'm not sure what happened to the two of you. But whatever you did on the Dreamplane somehow convinced the Terrians to allow us to colonize the planet."

Yale added, "I don't think that we could possibly express the amount of gratitude that we owe you."

"Alonzo says that you two are the only reason that we're standing here right now," Julia noted. "You saved our lives."

Bess wasn't bothering to listen to the conversation. She was absolutely fascinated at seeing the other members of Eden Project, again. They were exactly the same as she had remembered them. Although there was no doubt in her mind that John was real, she still wasn't completely sure about the others. Either way, she couldn't help but be impressed at how lifelike they were.

After a few more awkward moments of silence, Bess unexpectedly broke out into chuckles causing the other crewmates to shift nervously in their seats.

"Are you feeling all right, Bess?" Walman hesitantly asked as Julia repositioned her hand closer to her pocket.

Bess tried to stifle her laughter. "I'm fine," she replied wearing a sweet smile. She turned to the quiet mechanic. "Look, John. Baines is wearing our curtains."

Danziger examined the attire of his formerly deceased friend and grinned slightly. "Yeah, I guess that he is."

"'Curtains'?" Devon gently prodded.

Bess revealed in a friendly tone, "The curtains in the living room of our house."

"You guys built a house?" Mazatl asked incredulously.

"Oh, yes. A big, beautiful house," Bess exclaimed excitedly as she reminisced. Nearly everyone realized that her Southern accent had returned. "John knew that we wouldn't last forever in the cave. We needed something more permanent to live in. So he built one."

"We built one. You worked just as hard on it as I did," Danziger corrected softly and with emotion in his voice.

He met Bess' adoring gaze across the fire and the pair looked at each other as if they were the only two people in the world.

"And it wasn't that big," he added fondly as his own grin began to widen.

"It's the perfect size," she responded, her eyes sparkling with affection. Now, Bess was confusing her tenses, too.

There were some very nervous glances traded between several of the Advancers as they watched and listened to Bess and John's conversation. It seemed that, as awful as the overall experience might have been for them, those years spent on the Dreamplane may have had its perks after all.

"Exactly how big was this house of yours?" an uncomfortable Walman asked.

Bess broke her stare with the mechanic in order to address the curious crowd. "Well, we have a living room with a fireplace, a kitchen, a bathroom complete with hot water, a dining room-"

"And two bedrooms," Danziger interjected as both Morgan and Devon let out the breaths that they had been simultaneously holding.

"You had indoor power and plumbing?" Baines queried.

"Uh-huh," the Earth-res chirped, beaming with pride. "Oh, and you should see the greenhouse."

A confused look overtook her face as she realized that she was sitting in the exact spot where the greenhouse should be. Bess suddenly remembered Julia and Alonzo telling her something about living for a time within a parallel reality. Unfortunately, at that moment she couldn't recollect the exact times her Dreamplane life had started and ended. It had ended, hadn't it? Maybe that's where the greenhouse went, she surmised. She also remembered Julia relaying that her husband, John, had lived in the same alternate reality, but had been there much longer than she had.

She pivoted her head back toward Danziger in puzzlement. "Did you ever finish building the addition to the house?" she asked, still struggling to make sense of it all.

The emotion drained from his tone and John sadly returned his gaze to the campfire. "After you died, there was really n-no point to finishing it, was there?"

Bess' eyes filled with tears as the memories began to flood back into her consciousness. Now, she remembered everything. Her house was gone and so were her children. John was no longer her husband. The last fifteen years of her life had been a lie. Oh, God...

Uly had been waiting to fill in the others on how he'd spent his afternoon and this seemed to be the right moment.

"Mr. Danziger?" he innocently beckoned. "I talked to the Terrians and they said that they want to try to make things right, again."

Amidst the shocked mumblings of the other Advancers, Devon gently admonished, "Uly, I thought that I told you that you are not to speak with the Terrians anymore. They're dangerous."

"They're not dangerous, Mom," he disputed simply before turning his attention back to the mechanic. "They made a mistake and they're really sorry for what they did."

Bess couldn't believe her ears. It did nothing to help the situation when she recognized the clothing that Uly was wearing as the same outfit that Adam had outgrown years before.

"'Sorry'? Did you just say that the Terrians were 'sorry'!?!" she spat as she abruptly launched to her feet, stunning the colonists. "Well, you can tell the Terrians that they're a day late and a credit short! As a matter of fact, they're fifteen years too late!" She let out a chortle that had a slightly unbalanced edge to it.

Devon placed her arms around Uly in a protective gesture and automatically looked to John for additional security. She was surprised to see Danziger remain seated, his attention now focused on the ground.

John was busy concentrating on the blades of grass lightly swaying in the evening breeze. He wondered to himself is the grass was real. He was curious as to whether or not he could make it disappear if he thought about it hard enough. Maybe he could even change the direction of the wind...

In the meantime, Bess was becoming louder and more belligerent with each syllable. "I do not accept the Terrian's apology, do you hear me? I will never accept their apology!"

Bess' shouts were enough to finally shake John out of his reverie. "Bess," he said quietly as he stood. His face was a mask, but there was pain reflected in his eyes and voice. "Please stop."

She whirled around to face him. "Look what they've done to us, John! Look what they're still doing to us!"

Her anger disintegrated into a mournful cry and she dropped her arms to her sides in a defeated stance. "It's so unfair. It's just so unfair," she began to murmur.

Danziger quickly moved past the startled crew to rejoin Bess. As he closed the distance between them, he observed Julia's hand disappear into her jacket. He gently grabbed the doctor by the wrist before she could remove the sedative from her pocket.

"She doesn't need that," John told Julia softly, but firmly. "Let's just get her b-back to the tent so she can lay down. This'll pass."

Julia nodded in agreement and John was about to take the remaining step toward Bess when his path was suddenly blocked.

"No, I'll take her, Danziger," Morgan announced, stepping directly in front of him. It was a declaration more than an offer.

Bess appeared absolutely panic-stricken. "John?" she whimpered in a childlike voice.

Danziger reached around Morgan and gingerly guided Bess to the side in order for him to address her directly. Ignoring the astonished stares of the group, he crouched his head down until they were at eye-level.

"Now, I need you to do what Julia says. Go back to the tent and rest, okay? Will you do that for me?"

"Aren't you coming, too?" she asked timidly.

Morgan cut in, "Danziger will be there in a few minutes." He disguised his worry the best that he could under the circumstances. "Julia and I will take you to your tent, okay, Honey?"

Bess looked at Morgan in bewilderment as if she had no idea who he was.

"You go ahead. I'll be there s-soon," Danziger urged as Julia interlocked her arm with Bess' and began escorting her away. Morgan followed along on the opposite side, but didn't touch her for fear of her reaction. Bess stared pleadingly over her shoulder back at John as she was ushered out of sight.

Now, Danziger became the center of attention at the campfire. No one knew what to say and gaped at him with a mixture of uncertainty, concern and pity. Before anyone could question him or offer any words of encouragement, John stormed away toward the vehicles located at the opposite end of camp. True scurried after him as Devon tried in vain to stop her. The leader hurriedly stumbled to her feet with the intention of following both Danzigers. However, she halted in her tracks when Alonzo focused in on her son's revelation.

"Uly, did you say that the Terrians are willing to help us?" the pilot queried.

"Uh-huh," he affirmed before looking down at the ground guiltily. "I'm sorry, Mom. I know that I wasn't supposed to talk to them, but the Terrians are my friends. I thought that they could help Mr. Danziger and Mrs. Martin."

"It's all right, Sweetie," Devon assured as she knelt down and placed her hands on Uly's shoulders. "What did they tell you?"

"Just that they didn't know that anyone would get hurt. They said that Mrs. Martin had kind of an accident on the Dreamplane. Something about her getting lost 'cause she didn't have a guide. I didn't really understand what they meant." Uly shrugged his shoulders. "I don't think they know why Mr. Danziger is sick."

"Did they tell you anything else?" Devon asked.

"Uh-huh. They said for Alonzo to dream with them tonight. That maybe they can figure out a way to fix them."

"'Maybe' they can figure out a way?" Baines snapped. "You mean, the Terrians aren't even sure if they can do anything?"

Alonzo piped in with a tinge of irritation, "Uly, I've already dreamt to them about this. I couldn't make the Terrians see that there was a problem to begin with. Why are they willing to help us now?"

"They said that when you spoke to them before, they had trouble understanding you," the child revealed. "All the Terrians could hear was your anger."

Alonzo pulled his head back in surprise as Uly's remarks struck a truthful chord. It made sense when he considered that the Terrians were not used to dealing with human emotions. And there was certainly no doubt that Alonzo had been pretty pissed off during his last Dreamplane excursion.

"So it's possible that something can be done to help Bess and John," he ventured.

Uly nodded, "The Terrians said that they would try."

"Yeah, well they'd better try," Walman blurted out as Magus took his hand. "Considering they're the ones who caused this mess."

_____

Danziger was feeling completely overwhelmed. After Morgan and Julia had led Bess back to their quarters, he had begun surveying the campsite along with its inhabitants... and he didn't like what he saw. His confusion had caused him to flee his surroundings and seek a quieter venue.

What he needed to do was think. There had to be a perfectly understandable explanation as to how and why he was stuck there with the visions of his friends. Could he possibly be in the midst of experiencing the final section of the Terrian's exam? Did the creatures have the ability to tap into his mind upon his death as a last effort for them to see what makes humans tick? Were they studying his memories of the past along with his desires for what might have been?

Perhaps they'd tossed him temporarily back in time to view parts of his former life as some kind of reward for participation in the Terrian's experiment. One last hurrah down memory lane which could also serve to benefit the creatures' own growth and understanding of humanity. Maybe this was the first stop in a line of revisits to various places and times that occurred over the many years of his life. Perhaps Alex and Les'll come by later to swap stories. Maybe Elle will make an appearance!

John's impaired mind continued to drift as he stumbled through the field toward the vehicles. He was awestruck when he caught sight of the Transrover. He had stripped that down to its axles decades ago, hadn't he? He and Bess had used its parts for... Bess. His wife was here. Or at least, she appeared to be here with him. The Terrians must be giving him a final chance to see her, again. After all, she was in the foreground of his thoughts throughout the last half of his life. It would make sense that the creatures would send her to him first. True was here, too, he speculated. Adam's probably not that far behind.

Danziger attempted to shake himself back to cognitive thought. "What I am experiencing now is real," he whispered as he tried to convince himself. "I'm not dead. This is not the Dreamplane or s-some kind of Terrian trick."

He sighed halfheartedly as he ran his hand along the rubberized seams of the 'Rover's windows. It certainly felt authentic. Of course, there was only one problem with that logic, Danziger bitterly noted. It had also felt just as real forty-some years ago when he'd yanked it apart in order to use the vehicle's glass for the windows of their cabin.

What if the others were telling him the truth? That, in reality, forty-four years of his life had been a four day trip to the Dreamscape. The enormity of it made John feel like he was being crushed from all sides. He couldn't have just imagined it all, could he? In his mind and heart, he felt like a frail man in his eighties, even if his outward physical appearance was that of a healthy thirty-seven year old. How could they say it wasn't real? How could the Terrians and the other Edenites just invalidate his existence like that? He'd lived... he'd loved... he'd lost. God, how he'd lost. John had already had a full life. It was just too much to ask or expect of him to live another one.

Too emotionally depleted to remain standing, he sagged to the ground with his back against the 'Rover's front tire. Danziger could slowly feel himself starting to crumble from within as he sank backward deeper and deeper into the recesses of his mind. However, just as his eyes began to glaze over, he was shaken back to attention by True.

"Dad? Are you okay?" she worriedly asked as she stood over him. If she hadn't seen his chest rise and fall, she would have thought that he was dead.
"Dad?"

"Yeah, I'm f-fine," he finally responded as he looked up at her. True could tell by her father's dazed expression that he had no idea how long she'd been standing there.

She resisted the urge to jump into his arms and, instead, nervously fidgeted with the buttonholes of her jacket. "I really missed you," she related.

As he gazed at her, John could feel his heart breaking. "I m-missed you, too. You know, there wasn't a day that went by that I d-didn't think about you," he wistfully recounted as he exhaled a shallow breath.

The years of guilt and regret began to pour out of him, although he found that he lacked the strength to cry. "I-I made so many mistakes in my life. Taking you with me as part of the Eden Ops crew was one of the biggest. I should've left you b-behind. You know, Elle's cousin offered to raise you, but I told her no way. I insisted on bringing you with me even though I knew the m-mission could be dangerous."
He shook his head in defeat. "If you were back on the Stations, I would have missed out on being a part of your life, but, at least, you would've had one. You would've gotten the chance to grow up. I t-took that away from you because I was selfish."

Danziger tore his vision from what he thought was the Terrian induced apparition of his daughter and lamented, "I wish that I'd been able to c- convince the Terrians to let you live. But, by the time I found out that they'd taken you, it was t-too late. You were gone." He clamped his eyes shut, no longer able to face her image.

True's mouth fell open in surprise. He was looking and talking to her as if she was a ghost! What had the Terrians done to her father?

She fell to her knees next to his seated frame. "Daddy, I'm alive," she tried to assure him. "All of that bad stuff that happened to you was on the Dreamplane. The Terrians didn't kill me."

She grabbed his limp hand and put it to her cheek. "I'm real, see?" She touched his pale face with her other hand in a further effort to convince him. "See, Daddy? It's really me."

She was relieved when John finally reopened his eyes. He appeared to be studying her as he reached up and tucked a few strands of loose hair behind his daughter's ear.

"I loved you so much, T-True. I'm so sorry that I wasn't able to save you. I'm s-so sorry that I wasn't able to save the others. I f-failed every one of you."

True was momentarily paralyzed. She'd seen her dad upset before, but never like this. She had no idea how unwell he was. Julia had explained to her that the Dreamplane had made Bess and her father sick, but didn't elaborate except to say that they would require everyone's help and support to get better. But as afraid as she was for him, Dad had gotten into plenty of scrapes before and he'd always ended up just fine. And if other people were hurt or sick, too, her father was almost always the one who'd pulled them through it. He was the smartest and bravest man that True had ever known.

However, listening to him now, True realized that her dad was suffering from a different kind of illness. He didn't have cuts or bruises or a virus like the one he'd caught from Alex at the other escape pod. This was something else altogether. He didn't seem to be in touch with reality. And, at that moment, True couldn't ever remember being more frightened for her father.

"I'm still here, Daddy. You did save me. You saved all of us," she exclaimed, flinging her arms around his chest. She could feel him faintly wheezing as she tightened her grip. "And I love you, too," she whispered.

_____

After finishing their conversation at the campfire, Devon, Yale and Alonzo went in search of John and True. They found the two of them still situated at the base of the Transrover's wheel. True was curled up against her father. Danziger's sunken blue eyes were vacantly staring off into space.

Before anyone could approach the seated pair, they heard Magus frantically yelling John's name as she ran to join the group.

"Danziger, we need you to go back to your tent now," she exclaimed, out of breath. He didn't respond to her calls or to True's gentle prodding.

"Has something happened?" Yale inquired.

"Not yet," Magus replied curtly as she dropped to her knees in front of the mechanic.

"Hey!" she shouted and began roughly shaking him. "Wake up, Danziger!"

Devon dove forward and grabbed her shoulder. "What the hell are you doing?" she hissed angrily. "Stop it, Magus!"

After assuming co-leadership of the surviving members of Eden Advance and suffering a violent death on the Dreamplane, Linda Magus had returned to her true reality upset and confused. However, she was also armed with a tougher attitude and a healthy dose of gumption. Devon Adair no longer intimidated her.

She irately removed Devon's hand and shot back in an authoritative tone, "We don't have the time to treat him with kid gloves."

Magus ignored Devon's leer and returned her attention to Danziger who was coming around. "Get up, John. You gotta come with me. We need your help with Bess."

Slowly, Danziger's alertness was restored and his eyes focused on his crewmate. After a few seconds of wearing a puzzled expression, he wordlessly nodded his acceptance and Magus helped him stagger to his feet. The two hurried toward his quarters, leaving the others to bring up the rear. However, as Devon started off toward the tent, True gripped her hand to stop her.

"Dad is really, really sick," the little girl revealed with a terrified look on her face.

"I know," Devon said as she gave the child a gentle tug to encourage her to start moving. She was more interested in catching up to John than standing around and talking.

True refused to budge and dug her feet into the ground.

"No, you don't know," the child countered, shaking her head. Tears filled True's eyes and her bottom lip quivered as she relayed, "Devon, he still thinks that I'm dead!"

_____

As they neared the dwelling, Danziger could hear a commotion of noises emanating from inside the tent. The concerned crowd that had assembled nearby parted down the middle to allow John entry. Alonzo followed him in and lowered the tent flap behind them, cutting off the Edenites' view. There was pandemonium as Julia and Morgan were unsuccessfully trying to pacify a hyperventilating Bess who was huddled against the far corner of the tent like a frightened animal. She was holding her suitcase in front of her, attempting to use it as a shield.

Danziger's inward struggle as to whether or not the event playing out before him was actually taking place was overshadowed by his instinct to protect. He wasted no time and went to Bess' cowering form and lovingly laid both hands on her shoulders. Bess didn't resist as he slid his hands down her arms and gently removed the baggage from her grasp.

"What's going on?" Danziger roughly directed his question to the equally rattled doctor and liaison as he placed the suitcase safely out of Bess' reach.

Before they could answer, Bess tearfully begged between rapid breaths, "John, make them leave! Please, just make them leave!"

It was obvious how distressed she was and John concentrated on putting a halt to her panic attack. He bent down to mirror her height and soothingly instructed, "You need to breathe, okay?"

He loudly inhaled and exhaled several times in order to encourage her to do the same. Eventually, Bess began to mimic his exaggerated breathing pattern.

"That's it, Hon. Deep, full breaths," John praised.

"Make them go," she quietly beseeched as her respiration gradually began to return to normal.

Danziger turned to address the others, though his eyes were directly centered on Morgan. "You heard what the lady said. Get out," he said firmly.

Morgan wasn't the least bit swayed. "I'm not going anywhere!" he protested.

He looked past the mechanic to speak to his wife. "Bess, why won't you tell me what's wrong?"
When she didn't respond to him, he emotionally added, "I love you, Sweetheart."

Upon hearing Morgan's words, the Earth-res' eyes went wide with fear and she began to quake uncontrollably. John was worried that she might collapse and carefully began to guide her toward her bunk.

"I don't belong here," she repeatedly whimpered as Danziger helped her into bed and sat down next to her.

Morgan was relieved that they could finally get close to Bess. "Give her the sedaderm, Julia," he implored.

"No. She doesn't need it," John disagreed softly, never breaking eye contact with Bess. "Just give her a m-minute or two and she'll be fine."

"Look at her! OF COURSE, she needs it!" Morgan animatedly insisted as he observed his wife's erratic demeanor. "Bess, Honey, Julia's going to give you something to calm you right down."

Danziger stood up to his full height and stepped toward the bureaucrat until they were almost nose to nose.

"Don't you touch her, do you hear me?" the mechanic coolly challenged. "You can't just pump her full of drugs every time she gets upset." He added in a low growl, "I won't let you."

"I don't remember seeing the letters 'M.D.' after your name!" Morgan shot back, for once, undaunted by Danziger's hard stare and words. "Julia, give her the injection," Morgan commanded, not backing down or veering his determined gaze from the mechanic.

Alonzo began prodding the two men apart before any punches could be thrown over the most effective way to manage the care of the woman whom they both loved.

"Danziger's right, Morgan," the doctor grudgingly confirmed as she stepped in between them. "Even if we wanted to, we don't have a large enough supply of sedatives to medicate Bess every time she displays irrational behavior. We need to deal with this problem head on. Maybe if we allow Bess to let out her pain, it will help her recovery."

"Pain? What pain?" Morgan worriedly asked as he rushed to the Earth-res' bedside. "Bess, are you in pain?"

Bess had curled up sideways with her knees pressed to her chest. "I feel so empty," she muttered in between cries. "I don't want to be here anymore."

The mechanic reseated himself beside her on the mattress and gingerly took hold of her hand. He understood her hurt and confusion over circumstances that were beyond her control. Plus, he remembered his own sadness the first time that he'd lost a child.

"Ssshhh. I know, Bess," he nodded somberly. "Believe me, I know."

"Bess, Honey, I don't know what you mean," Morgan anxiously exclaimed, observing her over John's shoulder. "Please, Bess, talk to me."

Bess looked at John pleadingly. "'Lonz could you take Morgan outside?" the mechanic asked. As the bureaucrat opened his mouth to object, Danziger added, "Don't worry, Julia will stay with us, in case we n- need her."

John turned back to meet Bess' trusting gaze and gave her fingers a gentle squeeze. "It's all right. I'll take care of her."

_____

Morgan was practically shoved out of the tent by Alonzo and into the worried group still congregated outside.

"What the hell is happening?" he demanded, grabbing the lapels of the pilot's leather jacket and shaking him. "What is she talking about?"

Alonzo was taken by surprise by the liaison's angry outburst. "Hey, take it easy," he said, effortlessly breaking Morgan's hold and pushing him away.

The infuriated man charged toward him, but was caught by Walman and Baines before he could reach his destination.

"No, I'm through taking it easy!" Morgan seethed. "I want some answers and I want them now!"

"Back off, Morgan!" Walman hollered at the still struggling bureaucrat.

"Stop it," Alonzo hissed. "This isn't helping Bess!"

Morgan pried himself from the clutches of the two crewman and fussily straightened out his coat.

"What's wrong with her?" he grimly asked as his fury evolved into puzzlement. "I tried talking to her when we left the campfire, but she wouldn't answer me. When we got here, I gave her a kiss on the cheek and told her that I loved her. Then, she just snapped."

"And John isn't himself, either," Devon added. "Why won't you tell us what happened to them on the Dreamplane?"

Solace knew that he had to remain cautious regarding what information he divulged to the colonists. Revealing the depth of Bess and Danziger's relationship along with the loss of their son and unborn daughter would only serve to hurt those around them. He also didn't want to increase Morgan's guilt by going into detail about the emotional damage done to Bess after she was propelled from the Dreamplane and lost for what had felt like months in a horrible darkness.

He tried to keep his explanation as vague as possible. "Listen to me. Bess and John aren't the same people that they were six days ago. We need to give them some space so they can come to terms with what they went through."

Morgan and the other Edenites were tired of getting the run-around from Alonzo and Julia every time they asked about their two sick crewmates and there was an explosion of hostile responses.

"Come to terms with what?"

"What a bullshit answer!"

"You're still avoiding the question!"

"We want specifics!"

"My God, what did the Terrians do to them after we left?"

"Why won't you tell us what Bess and Danziger did on the Dreamplane?"

"What are you and Julia hiding from us?"

"What are they hiding from us?"

Alonzo's own voice became inflamed. "They're traumatized for Christ's sake! Bess and John thought that all of us were dead!"

"Then, why aren't they happy to find out that we're alive?"

"Yeah, you'd think they'd be glad to see us, again. Instead, they've barricaded themselves in their tent!"

"Oh, give me a break!" Solace thundered at the crowd. "Where do you get off passing judgment?" He angrily pointed at them. "Are you so happy to be back? To find out that you were tricked by the Terrians? I know that you're relieved to be alive but, with the exception of Devon, you're all suffering from depression. A lot of you can't eat. Most of you have been badgering Julia for sleep-aids to get through the night."

Alonzo began furiously marching, directing his rage at the Advancers as he walked among the stunned group. "Not one of you lasted on the Dreamplane for more than what you believed to be six months of your life. You left Bess and Danziger behind to bear the brunt of the Terrian's experiment. Do you have any idea what it was like for them? Do you have a clue what the experience did to their minds? Do you know the guilt and grief they went through when they thought that we'd died? How terrified they were that first winter in the cave? Both of them trying to stay alive so the other person wouldn't be left to face life by themselves? The pressure they felt knowing that the Terrians would determine whether or not humans would be allowed to settle the planet based on their actions?"

He abruptly stopped and motioned his arm toward Bess and Danziger's tent behind him. "And, despite everything, they refused to give up. Bess spent fifteen years on the Dreamscape. The only reason she left when she did was because you forced her to. John was there forty-four years." The pilot tossed his hands up in the air in discouragement. "My God, after Bess died, the man didn't speak a word for almost three decades! And no matter how awful it was for him, he fought to stay alive for as long as he possibly could! He sacrificed his sanity for what he thought was the greater good!"

Many of the Edenites gasped in horror at Solace's revelations while others lowered their heads in shame. Alonzo could see the effect his statements were having and he slowly regained his composure to drive the point home. "Look, I know that you're worried about them. So am I. But we need to tread very carefully here. Bess and John are emotional wrecks. Even now, they're not sure if you and I are real. Hell, they're not even sure if they're real anymore."

He ran his fingers through his dark hair before continuing, "Let me talk with the Terrians tonight and see if we can figure out a way to help them. Until then, leave them alone. If the two of them want to isolate themselves from the rest of you, let them. Don't try to push them into dealing with things that they aren't ready to handle. I can't stress enough how important it is that we all be as patient as possible."

They heard a rustling behind them as Julia exited the tent, squeezing between the creased opening and quickly resealing it before the others could catch a glimpse of the sick crewmembers. Although it was obvious that she was upset, the physician remained silent. Instead, she gave Alonzo a look that made it clear that she wanted to speak with him privately.

Walman, still in his leadership mode from his stint on the Dreamplane, took a step forward and offered, "I think that we've had enough excitement for one evening. Why don't we all try to get some sleep." He gestured toward the pilot. "Tomorrow morning, I'm sure that Alonzo will fill us in on everything the Terrians have to say, right?"

Solace nodded his agreement and, with great uneasiness, the members of Eden Project began to slowly disperse and retreat back to their own quarters. Yale took Uly and True's hand in each of his own and led them back to the Adair tent while Devon remained behind. She watched as Morgan approached Alonzo with a frightened expression on his face.

"Please help her," he quietly expressed. "Bess is my life."

Devon placed her arm around Morgan. "I'm sure that he and Julia are doing everything they can for them," she answered, her words of encouragement not matching the lukewarm glance that she gave the pilot.

The leader was obviously miffed that Julia had an update on her patients' status and, yet again, Devon was to be locked out of the information loop. Didn't they know that she was worried about Bess and John, too, Devon inwardly steamed. Surely they realized how important Danziger had become to her. Plus, Devon didn't think that she should have to remind them that she, not Alonzo or Julia, was in charge of Eden Advance and, as such, was entitled to any knowledge pertaining to the health of her group. Yet, here she was being given the brush-off. Devon was beginning to lose control of the situation, again. And she didn't like it one bit.

After determining that now was not the time to argue about the continually ignored chain of command, Devon began to steer Morgan back toward his tent thus allowing Alonzo to rejoin a troubled Julia.

_____

"This is all my fault," Morgan blurted out as he and Devon made their way back to the main campsite. "I should have listened to True and Uly and let Bess come out of the Dreamplane on her own."

He stopped to face the leader and declared, "Alonzo didn't say it, but I know that giving Bess that stimulant made her worse. I caused her to have a nervous breakdown. My God, what was I thinking? How could I have been so selfish?"

"Morgan, you weren't being selfish at all," Devon said, patting him on the shoulder. "You wanted to help your wife so you took a chance; the same chance that I would have taken with John if True hadn't insisted otherwise. You remember how afraid we were. Neither of them had moved a muscle in days and there was no sign that they were ever going to wake up. Even if the injection did cause a negative reaction, none of this is your fault. You did what you thought was best."

"I made the wrong choice," he sorrowfully murmured.

"Are you so sure about that?" Devon disputed before exhaling in frustration. "I don't think that John is any better off than Bess is. He's a shell of his former self. He's become withdrawn, not to mention delusional. True told me that he asked her for forgiveness because he feels responsible for killing her. Does that sound like rational behavior to you?"

"But don't you see? By waking up Bess, we ended up hurting Danziger, too," Morgan relayed ashamedly. "You heard what Alonzo said. Danziger's acting this way because he spent so many years alone. Things might have been different if Bess had stayed with him on the Dreamplane."

He had to admit to himself that, as much as he detested the mechanic, Morgan certainly didn't relish seeing him in the condition he was in now. And besides that, Danziger was the resident expert regarding keeping the vehicles running and his presence was crucial to Morgan and the others getting to New Pacifica. Like it or not, they needed him healthy and whole.

"We don't know that," Devon said with a hint of disdain in her voice. She glared in the pilots's direction as he conferred with Julia outside of Bess and John's tent. "In case you hadn't noticed, Alonzo continued to dance around our questions the same way he has since this thing started. The only difference was that, tonight, he managed to make us feel guilty at the same time. When it comes down to it, we still know little to nothing about what John and Bess' Dreamplane lives were like."

"Do we really want to know, Devon?" he posed in apprehension remembering that Danziger and his wife had spent fifteen years by themselves on the Dreamscape. While he understood that they'd had no choice but to lean on each other for support, Morgan found himself wondering more and more if the hardships they'd endured had forged a much stronger bond than they were being told about. Not only did Bess and John's reliance on each other seem to have carried over into their real lives, Morgan certainly hadn't missed the affectionate looks the two had shared earlier that evening at the campfire.

Devon knew exactly what he meant because she'd also been contemplating many of the same scenarios regarding how close Danziger and the Earth-res had truly become during their time on the alternate reality. However, she acted as if she hadn't caught the bureaucrat's implication.

"Of course, we do," she explained. "We can't help them if we don't know what took place."

They began walking in silence, each lost in their own thoughts until they reached the entrance of Morgan's quarters. The liaison stood at the threshold of the empty tent and swallowed hard to suppress the sob that was building in his throat.

"I miss her so much," he choked out. "I should have been there to support her."

"I know what you mean," Devon sighed guiltily. "I feel like I abandoned John when he needed me the most."

Morgan shook his head in defeat. "I feel so helpless. Those two need us now more than ever. They're just too sick to realize it." He added wistfully, "I wish that we could somehow convince them to stop pushing us away and let us be there for them."

Devon's mind started working in overdrive. "There might be a way," she declared as she lifted his tent flap and motioned for him to enter.

As she followed him in, she proposed, "Why don't you and I discuss some options?"

_____

After the other Advancers had gone, Alonzo approached an awaiting and very concerned Julia.

"I guess you heard all of that, huh?" Solace remarked, suddenly feeling somewhat remorseful for angrily dressing-down the other members of Eden Project.

"It was hard not to," the doctor responded as she cracked open the tent to allow Alonzo a brief peek inside. "Although Bess and Danziger seemed to have tuned it out," she added.

Solace was greeted with the sight of a subdued Bess laying against Danziger who had stretched out on the cot beside her. Bess' eyes were closed and she had tightly curled her arms and legs around the weary mechanic. The pilot watched as John lightly kissed the top of her head as he soothingly stroked her arm.

Alonzo shook his head and rotated his gaze back to Julia. "So you ended up having to sedate her after all," he noted in disappointment.

"No. She's out like a light," she revealed. "John was able to calm her down and she fell asleep almost immediately."

Alonzo let out a frustrated breath. "They're getting worse, aren't they?"

Julia nodded. "Those spells Danziger's been suffering from are happening more frequently and it's getting harder and harder to bring him out of them. It's only a matter of time before he goes into one of his trances and stays there forever. Although, at this rate, I doubt that he'll live that long."

She continued as a look of shock overtook the pilot's face. "Somehow, John's overall health has become that of a man twice his age. And one who hasn't taken care of himself. He's exhibiting almost all of the signs of congestive heart disease. Danziger's heart is swelling because it's working overtime to pump the oxygen he needs to his organs. His blood pressure is through the roof. His feet and ankles are already starting to swell from excess water because his kidneys aren't functioning properly. Pretty soon, his other organs will begin to fail, too." She sighed in defeat. "I've been giving him a steady dose of cardiac boosters, but they're only having temporary effects at best."

"And Bess," Solace inquired.

"Bess is suffering from the same problems, but to a much lesser degree. Her blood pressure is fluctuating wildly depending on her moods. She's also showing acute signs of weakness and fatigue. But, at this point, I'm most concerned about her emotional well-being. Despite this evening's outburst and her continued confusion, there's been a marked improvement in her behavior. However, if something happens to John-"

She stopped, unable to finish the sentence. However, the inference was clear. After pausing a moment to collect her thoughts, she continued in exasperation, "I don't know how to stop their progression. There's absolutely no medical reason for this to be happening to them. I can only surmise that both of them have reached the limits of what they can psychologically handle. They've just been through too much."

Julia peered into the tent to view her sick friends as she worriedly relayed, "We have to do something, 'Lonz. And we have to do it soon."

_____

Danziger nodded in a welcoming gesture to Julia and Alonzo as they reentered the dwelling and pulled up chairs next to the bunk.

John wore an impassive look and kept his voice to a whisper in an effort not to awaken Bess who was still nestled against him. There was only a slight fluctuation in his tone as he offered, "T-Tell Morgan that I'm sorry that I yelled at him. I know that he meant well, but he was doing more harm than good. I had to get him outta here before Bess became completely unglued."
He didn't miss the surprised expression on Julia's face as he apologized. "You know, when it c-comes down to it, Martin's not such a bad guy. I know how much he loves Bess. It's got to be rough for him to see her like this."

He cast his eyes downward toward the sleeping form and sadly disclosed, "It's rough for me, too."

John gingerly disentangled Bess' arms and legs from his body as he wriggled himself up to more of a seated position on the cot. "Bess keeps coming up with all of these crazy ideas about what to do. At first, she wanted you to ask the Terrians to s-send us back to the Dreamplane. She believed that we could somehow be returned to the time frame right before she was taken away. Then, we could p-pick up where her timeline left off and live out our lives the way they should have been. We'd have Adam back and she'd still be pregnant with Eben. She even suggested bringing True with us."

Both Julia and Alonzo inhaled a sharp breath at the suggestion as John let out a dismayed sigh. "It took almost two days to c-convince her that there's no place to go back to. Besides, even if we could be returned to the Dreamplane, we wouldn't be able to pretend that reality didn't exist. We'd know that it wasn't real. We'd only end up living the same lie for a second time." The mechanic added in an embittered tone, "And when it was all over, we'd still wake up here."

Danziger continued in a low voice, "She t-told me that she won't go with the group to New Pacifica. That this valley is her home now. She asked me to rebuild our cabin just like it was on the Dreamplane. I told her that it wouldn't be p-possible because we won't have access to the vehicles for parts, but she doesn't care. She says th-that as long as we're a family-"

He let his voice trail off before muttering, "How can I tell her no when a part of me wants to do the s-same thing?"

Alonzo was about to speak when Bess began to stir and slowly opened her eyes. As she lifted her head to meet his gaze, Danziger's whole demeanor changed. He greeted his wife with a pleasant smile which was equally matched by the warmth reflected in his eyes and voice.

"Hey, Sleepyhead," Danziger said as he gently caressed her cheek. "You okay? Didn't have another nightmare, did you?"

Bess returned his smile and snuggled in closer to him. "Mmm-mmm. I was dreaming about our garden. You know, the one next to our front door," she answered sweetly.

She turned her head and noticed that they weren't alone. "You saw it when you were on the Dreamplane, didn't you, Alonzo?" she asked the pilot with innocent eyes.

"Yeah, Bess, I did," he replied simply. "It was beautiful."

The Earth-res' grin widened as she sat up. "Thanks. I worked really hard on it," she said cheerfully before shifting her gaze back to Danziger. "Did you keep it up after I died?"

John's eyes bulged and the muscles in his jaw clenched for a moment before he was able to recover from her question. "I sure tried, Bess, but I wasn't exactly blessed with the s-same green-thumb that you were," he responded softly as he placed his arm around her shoulders. "After awhile, those rose bushes of yours ended up taking over the whole space. Eventually, they wrapped themselves around the side of the house, too."

Bess seemed satisfied as she pictured their cabin outlined with the brightly colored blooms. "Good. Those were always my favorites, anyway."

"I know, Sweetheart," John muttered as he remembered the hundreds of times he'd placed the flowers on her and his children's graves.

Bess was examining the mixture of emotion displayed on her husband's face when something else caught her eye. "Your scar's gone," she realized in befuddlement as she brushed away the dirty-blond curls that covered his forehead. "The one you got from the solar panel when you slipped on the roof."

"Uh-huh," he answered plainly.

Her fingers glided from his absent scar to touch his stubbled cheek. "You're younger, too," Bess exclaimed with a twinge of wonderment.

"Right again. In fact, we both are," John responded. He leaned forward and lightly tapped his finger on her nose to emphasize each word. "But I'm still too old for you," he declared with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah and I still have terrible taste in husbands," she teased, breaking out into chuckles.

Danziger threw his head back and rolled his eyes in mock annoyance. "Don't I know it," he smirked as she pulled his head downward to share a gentle kiss.

"I love you," Bess said devotedly as they parted.

"And I love you, too," he expressed before brushing his lips across hers once more. "Now go back to sleep."

The mechanic started to shift his body toward the edge of the bed as he suggested, "You want me to move to the other cot so we don't disturb you?"

"No, please," she blurted out as she urgently grabbed at his shirt. "Please don't move. Just stay here and hold me." She flung her arms around John as he quickly retreated back to his original position in the bunk. "Please don't let me go," she begged in a soft voice as she laid her head on his chest.

Danziger drew her close and tightened his grip around her. "Okay, Bess," he whispered as she shut her eyes. "I won't let you go."

John wove his fingers through Bess' hair and patiently waited for her to return to her slumber. When he was finally rewarded with the dulcet melody of her snores, he turned his head back toward Julia and Alonzo. He looked absolutely exhausted and his voice had returned to nearly a monotone.

"It's so hard to see her this way," he said dolefully. "Bess was always the strong one. Those first years, she k-kept me going even when I was ready to give up." He let out a dispirited snort. "Trust me, I didn't make it easy for her, either. She helped me learn to forgive the Terrians for what they did to you all. She helped me learn to f-forgive myself. It's because of her, I was able to face losing True and Devon and move on with my life. She saved me."

His gaze fell to the floor as he choked out, "N-Now she needs me to save her and I have no idea what to do. I can't even take care of myself."

Alonzo arched forward in his seat to regain the mechanic's attention. "I'm going to talk with the Terrians tonight," he relayed. "Uly said that there might be a chance that they can help you after all."

"Good," Danziger replied, faintly nodding. "You gotta convince them to do something. I don't know, maybe take us away or m-make us forget. But they have to try."

He exhaled deeply before admitting, "Bess was right when she said that we don't belong here anymore. I-I don't know where I am most of the time. All of those years alone has done s-something to my mind. I was looking at the 'Rover tonight and it occurred to me that I wouldn't be able to fix it if it broke down. I don't remember m-most of my mechanic skills. Even if I could travel, I'm completely useless to the group. It's just been too long."

His eyes returned to the ground and Julia and Alonzo could barely hear his agonized disclosure. "I'm t-t-terrified to leave this tent. You're all ghosts to me. Reminders of a life th-that doesn't exist anymore. I try to tell myself that this," he motioned with his free hand around the room, "that this is real. That I'm really here." He let out a defeated breath. "Sometimes it even works for awhile. But usually, it d-doesn't. Most of the time, I'm just going through the motions. I don't know if Bess is real either. God knows that I w-want her to be."

John rotated his gaze back to his wife and tenderly touched her face as he conceded, "Right now, the only thing that I'm sure of is that I can't lose her again."

__________

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