Learning Experiences by Allison McDonnell

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Julia and Alonzo hurriedly worked throughout the afternoon packing up nonessential items and erasing over a weeks worth of their personal diaries. Even Alonzo's journal was deleted in the event that anyone searched his belongings without his consent at a later date. They also erased the medical logs of the entire Eden Advance crew for the past eight days. This turned out to be quite an undertaking considering the large of amount of medical data that had been gathered during and after the Terrian's experiment. Finally, Alonzo collected the chronometers and gear-sets from each colonist and placed them in a lockbox to which only he had the combination.

Their tasks were finally completed just as the sun disappeared into the horizon. The two wearily staggered into the meal tent and grabbed themselves a quick bite to eat. When they were finished, Julia and Alonzo prepared two food trays and set off for a visit with their ailing friends.

They were pleased to find Danziger awake and looking remarkably well, especially considering that he'd been legally dead just twelve hours before. He was sitting on the end of his cot with his arm around Bess who, unfortunately, sported swollen eyes which relayed that she'd recently been crying. John smiled and thanked them for the dinner as Julia scanned their vital statistics. The physician observed that, as John ate his meal, he watched Bess out of the corner of his eye to ensure that she was truly eating instead of just moving the food around on her plate. It amazed and saddened Julia at how protective both Bess and John were of each other. Their total devotion to one another seemed to be the only thing keeping them alive. For now.

Julia's melancholy expression didn't escape Danziger's notice and he worriedly asked, "They haven't changed their minds, have they?"

The doctor shook her head as she pulled up a crate next to Alonzo who was already seated near the pair. "Everything's on schedule."

"Thank God," John uttered as he set their empty plates to the side.

Bess frowned as the words left the mechanic's mouth. It was clear that, although she'd initially agreed to the Terrian's resolution to their plight, she was having second thoughts. She turned toward Danziger and placed her hand on his thigh to get his undivided attention.

"John, I don't want to go through with it," she tried to persuade as she began to smooth out the wrinkled fabric of his pants.

Danziger captured her hand and directed her eyes toward him. "It's the only way, Bess," he replied while caressing the backs of her fingers with his thumb.

"But it's not," she exclaimed in her most influential tone. "Let's stay here and start over. We did it before and we can do it, again. If the others want to go to New Pacifica, let them. But this is our home. This is where we belong."

"No," he said flatly.

Bess eased her hand from his grasp and kneeled on the floor in front of him. She leaned forward until their faces were only inches apart.

"Give it a chance, Honey," she urged as she brought her hands up to cradle his head. "We have all that we need here-- food, water, timber-- and we have each other. And True will be with us, too. We can live in the cave until the cabin is finished- "

"No, Bess, no," John interrupted, his voice elevating in desperation. "We can't do any of that because we won't live that long."

"Yes, we will," the Earth-res countered as she stroked his hair. "Look, I know that you're sick and I may not be in the best of health myself. But we'll take care of each other like we always have." She smiled and added in sincerity, "We're a team."

John arched back from Bess and looked at Julia and Alonzo in futility. It was obvious that Bess wouldn't be swayed unless she was made aware of some harsh truths. Danziger closed his eyes for a moment and swallowed the lump forming in his throat.

"I need you to listen to me," he said in almost a whisper. "Julia and Alonzo will b-back me up on this, too." He shivered slightly as he reached up to touch her cheek with his fingertips. "We can't stay here." John paused and took a deep breath. "I'm dying."

The Earth-res jerked her head back sharply. "Don't say that," she vehemently told him with wide eyes. "I know that neither of us are the same since we came back-"

"I'm not gonna make it, Bess," John confessed in a heart-rending tone as he moved his other hand to the base of her neck. "I'm withering away piece by piece. I want to stay here so I can be strong for you, but I-I've got nothing left. It takes almost all of my energy just to keep breathing."

His voice was barely audible as he tilted forward until their foreheads touched. "I'm just so tired," he whispered. "I c-can't do it anymore."

"Please," Bess softly pleaded. "I can't lose you, too."

Danziger sat himself straight up on his bunk and attempted to harden his features. "And I won't lose you," he proclaimed in a gravelly voice. "Don't you understand? You're in danger, too. We have to stop this before it's too late for both of us."

"John's right, Bess. He'll die if we don't do this," Julia reinforced. "And you'll probably die, too."

"And we can't let that happen," Alonzo added, choking on his emotions. "You're both part of our family."

Danziger gingerly took both of Bess' hands and pulled her toward him. "All I've ever wanted for you is that you live a long and happy life. That's not possible if things stay the way they are now," he professed. "I'm b-begging you, Bess. Please."

Bess studied Danziger's tormented face for many moments as he wordlessly sought to express his concern and sorrow. She no longer felt that she could depend upon her own damaged mind to make the correct decision. However, she knew in her heart that she could always trust John and understood that what he was telling her must be the truth. Although it didn't upset Bess to hear about her own impending death, she knew that she wouldn't be able to bear it if John died. She was comforted by the knowledge that, if she agreed to the Terrian's solution, his survival would be assured.

But the cherished memories of loving him would not be spared, she woefully thought to herself. Her family-- her life as she knew it-- would be taken away as if it had never existed in the first place. It wasn't fair.

"All right," Bess sadly conceded as she clasped her arms around the mechanic and hugged him tightly.

John hoisted her upward and sat her next to him on the bed. "You're doing the right thing, Babe," he murmured into her ear as he wrapped his arms around her.

Julia and Alonzo could only watch in silence as Bess lightly sobbed against the crook of Danziger's shoulder for several minutes.

"So it'll be like Adam never existed?" Bess finally asked as her tears began to subside.

"Maybe in our minds," John softly responded as he raised her chin to meet his gaze. "But I bet the memory of him will still be there somewhere deep in our hearts."

The Earth-res cracked a small smile at the possibility. "I hope so," she reflected as she began to twirl her fingers through John's tangled locks. "But I don't want to forget you either."

"You won't forget me," he said, grinning warmly. "You and I were always friends, Bess. That's something that'll never change."

"But I'll be married to Morgan."

John rolled his eyes and let out a light chuckle, "And I guess that means that I'll be going back to pining away for Devon Adair."

They both shook their heads before the mechanic tenderly brushed his lips across hers.

"I still think we'll end up together," Bess declared after they parted. As she bent in kiss him once more, she added with absolute certainty, "We'll find each other, again. I know we will."

Danziger stopped just before their lips met and acknowledged with renewed confidence, "At this point, Darlin', anything's possible."

What was intended by John to be a brief kiss, quickly evolved into something more powerful as Bess grabbed the back of his neck and parted his mouth with her own. He responded by deepening the embrace and closing the remaining gap between them. The sensation of Bess' body pressing against his further fueled Danziger's desire and his hands began to eagerly roam over her clothes. The couple became so consumed with their mounting passions for one another that they failed to remember something rather important. They weren't alone.

"Um, ahem," Julia awkwardly cleared her throat as she closely scrutinized the ground around her feet.

John's head and hands flew back like a shot while Bess made only a halfhearted attempt to retreat from their fervid embrace. She laughed at the embarrassment displayed on Danziger's face as he sheepishly muttered an apology to the pair.

"No need to explain," the pilot noted as he joined in with his own snickers. "We can take a hint," he added, vacating his seat.

Julia also stood and reset the crate against the canvas wall. "I'll come by in a few hours to check on you," Julia offered as she collected her medical bag and joined Alonzo at the tent's threshold.

"No," John expressed, causing the two to halt in their tracks. "We'd like to spend the rest of the evening by ourselves."

Julia cautioned, "I don't know if that's such a good idea. You both are in -"

Bess and Danziger's gazes were locked on each other as he softly implored, "Please. Just let me spend one more n-night alone with my wife."

When Danziger didn't receive an answer, he broke his stare with the Earth-res and turned toward the couple. He could see by their expressions how apprehensive they were about the idea.

"We'll call you if we need you, okay?" John assured, motioning to his nearby gear-set. "You can trust us."

Julia glanced skeptically at Alonzo who shrugged in response.

Danziger tried his best to ease their worries and lighten the mood. "Look, if it'll make you feel any better, I promise not to die," he pledged with the hint of a smirk.

"Me, too," Bess piped in with a smile while making a crossing gesture over her heart.

Alonzo snorted in amusement before concluding that arguing with them would do no good. He looked to Julia and signaled his concordance with their request.

"We'll be by early in the morning to pack you up," Julia acquiesced after reaching the same determination.

"Thank you, Julia. For everything," Bess said gratefully as she took John's hand. "We don't know what we would've done without you and Alonzo."

"Yeah," Danziger added in earnest. "Even all those years ago, you and 'Lonz were always good friends to us."

Bess nodded in agreement as Julia and Alonzo tried not to show their discouragement at hearing the mechanic's deluded statement.

"We'll check in with you tomorrow," Solace informed them as the two exited the tent and resealed the flap.

Bess turned toward John and grinned, knowing full well how he'd planned to spend the rest of the evening. "So, I guess it'll be like the old days, huh?" she said, gesturing to the small, cramped space of the single cot.

"Guess so," Danziger answered as he turned down the light of the lantern next to the bed. He made certain that a soft glow remained to illuminate the room, remembering how frightened Bess had recently become of the dark. "Is that gonna be a problem?"

"Nope," she replied sweetly as she glided closer to him. "I suppose we'll manage."

"We always did," John noted as they simultaneously edged forward to share a gentle kiss.

Bess returned for more, but Danziger withdrew from her embrace, leaving her slightly perplexed. Before she could question him about his sudden retreat, John reached under the bunk and pulled out the box containing his personal possessions.

He rummaged through the few items of clothing that he owned until he came upon his maroon Ops vest. Bess watched intrigued as John ran his hand along the interior of the garment until he felt a small tear in the fabric. He pried the slit apart with his thumb and forefinger and dug deeply into the padded lining in the search for something that, in Danziger's mind, had originally been hidden there over forty years before. Both seemed equally surprised when John produced a small cloth pouch that Bess instantly recognized.

"Wear this for me," he softly requested as he slipped the wedding ring on Bess' finger. "Just for this one night."

As Bess marveled at the simple, yet profoundly meaningful, piece of jewelry, the finality of their situation hit her head-on. "John-" she began to cry as she was overcome with emotion.

Danziger pulled her close and met her saddened gaze with his own. "I know, Sweetheart," he said, wiping away Bess' tears with the backs of his fingers. He leaned in and lightly kissed her forehead.

"No more yesterdays or tomorrows, okay?" he whispered against her hair. "Right now, let's just live in the moment."

John's eyes remained open as he slowly lowered his head and grazed his lips against hers. They parted only for a moment before joining again in a gentle, lingering caress. More kisses followed; each one growing longer and more passionate than the one before as they gradually allowed themselves to be pulled deeper and deeper into the clutches of desire.

Danziger lowered Bess to the bed and took charge of her; meticulously exploring the curves and planes of her frame. He left almost no part of her untouched by his hands or mouth as she writhed in pleasure beneath him. When he finally relinquished control, Bess answered him with equal fire. Because of their many years together, she knew exactly where to touch him to heighten his arousal and easily brought him to the same plateau that he had taken her to several minutes before.

Their hunger for one another intensified with each passing moment. John pulled Bess back up to his eye-level and kissed her vigorously, embedding his fingers deeply into her curly locks.

Grasping her to him tightly, Danziger rolled over on top of her. Both let out a breathless moan as they molded together into one.

After a few seconds of shared passion, Danziger stopped abruptly and veered his head backward in awe. "It feels the same, doesn't it?" he expressed in astonishment.

Bess knew precisely what he was talking about. It didn't matter that they had never made love in the reality that they now existed in. It was a dance that the pair had engaged in numerous times in their minds and in their hearts. Although their time together on the Dreamplane had been nothing but an illusion, their love and commitment to each other was authentic and undeniable. Their souls were forever connected and that was more than enough for the both of them. For now, it would have to be.

"It feels exactly the same," Bess agreed as she eased John back to her and they ardently continued what they'd started.

They gave themselves to each other completely; the movement of their bodies conveying the passion and pure devotion that they felt for one another. Despite their fragile conditions, Bess and John made love several times during the night. They savored each moment spent together, both knowing that time was a luxury that neither possessed.

With the dawn only a few hours away, Bess settled in John's sheltering embrace. As she toyed with the hairs on his chest, Danziger propped himself up on one elbow to get a better look at his wife's beautiful face.

Bess sighed as he delicately ran his thumb over her bottom lip. "This is the way it should be, John," she sleepily announced as she cuddled against him. "You and me lying in each other's arms like we are now."

"I couldn't agree more, Sweetheart," Danziger told her truthfully as he attentively stroked up and down the arch of her spine. He leaned down to brush his lips across both of Bess' now-shut eyelids. "Sleep well."

As her breathing steadied and she fell into a deep slumber, John memorized every inch of the radiant woman who had been ripped from his life almost three decades before. He had no idea if what he'd just experienced had actually occurred or was nothing more than wishful images conjured in his mind's eye. However, either way, he was certain that he'd been presented with a priceless gift.

For so many years, John had dreamed of being given one more chance to see his beloved wife. To be able to let Bess know how much she had meant to him. To tell her and show her once more how much he had loved her... how much he still loved her. Despite the terrible mistakes that the Terrians had made, Danziger couldn't help but be grateful to the creatures for seemingly granting him his final wish.

But maybe this is real, John pondered to himself. Perhaps this really is Bess sleeping in my arms right now and the Terrians have figured out a resolution to this horrible mess after all. Hell, he thought as he closed his eyes, I might even live long enough to see the outcome.

__________

The morning mist blanketing the trees and mountains slowly dissipated into the warm summer air as the Eden crew made their final preparations for departure. It was an odd sensation for many of the colonists, considering some of them had lived in the valley for several months (at least, in their minds).

Julia and Alonzo entered Bess and John's quarters and were surprised to find them already dressed with their belongings packed and ready to go. As the doctor checked their status, both patients remained quiet and subdued. Solace noticed that, for the first time in days, Bess was wearing Morgan's silver wedding band. She also wore a look that could best be described as shell-shocked. Danziger's face was nearly expressionless as Julia administered the final scheduled injection of beta-blockers to elevate his ever-declining heart rate.

Both Bess and John became extremely uncomfortable when Baines and Mazatl appeared to collect their personal effects and dismantle their tent. Seeing the other Edenites still had a tumultuous impact on the couple. Moreover, they felt a tremendous sense of guilt because of the sacrifices that the entire group was being forced to make on their behalf. Therefore, Bess and John insisted that it would be best if they left camp until the Terrian's scheduled arrival later in the morning.

As Julia and Alonzo noiselessly escorted the pair down the winding path toward the alcove, Bess noticed that Danziger was walking rather sluggishly and seemed to be dragging his feet. However, it was only when they approached the river and the sun's rays shone fully on the couple that Bess was given a clear view as to how haggard John's appearance truly was. The Earth-res took hold of his pale hand and felt how cold his skin was to the touch. She ignored Danziger's feeble assurances that he was fine and enlisted Alonzo's aid in helping John travel the final few yards to the water's edge. They seated him on the soft earth with his back leaning up against the fallen log and Julia immediately injected another dose of cardiac boosters into his system. As his heartbeat mildly increased its rhythm, Danziger smiled weakly and welcomed Bess into his arms.

"Don't you go anywhere, John," Bess told him in a hushed voice as she curled up in his embrace.

The mechanic could only muster a grunt of acknowledgment as he rested his chin on the top of her head.

Julia and Alonzo waited nearby as Bess and Danziger enjoyed their final sunrise together as husband and wife. John stayed silent as Bess whispered words of comfort and affection to him. She spoke of their years on the Dreamscape, first as friends, later as lovers, but always as essential presences in each other's lives. She remembered how they'd cared for and supported one another after the others had died. She recalled them finding the hope within themselves to start over again.

Bess reminisced about the many fixtures of their cabin, John's God-awful cooking and the countless hours spent talking by the fireplace as they got to know each other better. She reminded him of their hesitant first kiss, their enthusiastic second kiss and her joy at finding the man whom she considered to be her counterpart in every way. She choked back tears as she remembered all of the happy years they'd spent creating a new life together as a family with Adam and their unborn baby, Eben.

Bess pulled back to meet Danziger's crestfallen expression and said loudly enough for only his ears, "I understand that our memories will be taken from us, but I'm hoping that, deep down, our subconscious will retain some of our feelings or-" she struggled for the right words, "I don't know what to call it-- our need for one another. It may take years for us to realize that we're a perfect fit. Maybe it'll only take a few days. But even though our time together was an illusion, it's still a dream worth fighting for."

She stroked John's day-old beard with her fingertips as she encouraged, "And I expect you to fight for this dream, too."

John nodded as Bess pulled his head downward and lovingly kissed him.

"I think that we should start heading back," Alonzo called to the pair as he and Julia joined them at the bank.

Julia skeptically observed Danziger's devitalized state as he strained to get up. "Are you able to walk, John?" she questioned in a doubtful tone.

"Yeah," the mechanic answered faintly as Bess and Alonzo lifted him to the standing position by his elbows.

"John, Honey, are you sure?" Bess asked worriedly while she helped to steady him.

Danziger ignored the queasy sensation of his gut doing cartwheels and regained his equilibrium. "Yeah, I can make it," he affirmed, sounding as though he was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to reassure the others.

After taking a last, heartbreaking glance at the place where they'd spent so much time together, Bess and John turned away from the river and began slowly tottering up the trail. Although he had to stop several times when his legs started to wobble, Danziger stubbornly insisted on continuing without assistance and they eventually made it back to camp. Once there, they found the remaining Advancers congregated around the fully loaded vehicles solemnly waiting for the dreaded, but necessary, moment to arrive.

As soon as the four entered the clearing, an ear-splitting rumbling noise filled the air as scores of Terrians sprouted up from the earth and surrounded the colonists from all sides. Solace and the others squinted into the sunlight to view the varied insignias worn by the many different tribes who had chosen to take part in the historic encounter.

Upon seeing the creatures, Bess could feel herself beginning to lose control and was quickly overwhelmed by panic, confusion and a multitude of other emotions. John caught her by the shoulders as she fearfully stumbled backward into his chest.

"No," she whimpered as tears of grief formed in her eyes.

John gingerly rotated her to face him and squatted down to her meet her gaze. "It's gonna be okay," he told her sincerely before leaning in and gently kissing her cheek. "I love you, Bess," he whispered into her ear, his voice full of affection.

Danziger couldn't resist brushing his lips across her face one more time before tearing himself away. After straightening to his full height, he more loudly directed, "N-Now, go stand over there with Morgan, all right?"

Bess didn't move and stared at the mechanic with an anguished expression. She tentatively stretched out her hand toward him, but John quickly backed away from her reach, afraid that if Bess touched him, he wouldn't be able to let her go.

"Go on," Danziger prompted in a hoarse tone.

Julia stepped forward and guided the despondent Earth-res toward Morgan who was positioned next to the Transrover at the front of the convoy.

Now that Bess was properly situated, Alonzo prepared to make his way to the head of the caravan when John firmly gripped him by the shoulder.

"I need for you to pr-promise me that you'll take care of her," he demanded of the pilot. "Promise me that, no matter what happens, Bess will be safe."

Solace placed his hand over John's and pledged, "I promise to keep you both safe."

Danziger gave him a small nod of satisfaction before releasing his hold and setting off to rejoin his daughter who was waiting by the ATV several yards away. John felt that his very life-force was being siphoned from him with every step that he took. By the time he'd managed to stagger over to True, he was lightheaded and heavily winded as he breathlessly grabbed onto the vehicle's sidebar to hold himself upright.

"Dad, do you want me to get Julia?" True asked, horrified by his condition.

"No, True-girl. It's almost over," he wheezed in a voice that resembled relief. The edges of John's mouth arched into a smile as he turned to take a final glimpse of his little girl.

"Everything's gonna be fine," Danziger calmly reassured just before his eyes rolled to the back of his head and his legs buckled beneath him.

"DADDY!" True shrieked as her father crumbled to the ground in front of her.

"John!" Bess and Devon cried in unison.

Bess lurched in the direction of the mechanic, but was hindered by Morgan seizing her hand and swinging her back toward him.

"Oh, God, no! John!" the Earth-res wailed as she fought ferociously to wrangle herself from Morgan's grasp.

Julia had just joined Alonzo's side in front of the 'Rover when she'd heard True's frightened screams. Even without seeing Danziger, she immediately realized that he had likely gone into shock, if not full cardiac arrest. She threw her med-kit to the ground and ripped it open, spilling several items in the process as she madly searched for the correct medication.

"Do something!" Devon pleaded to the doctor while she, Uly and Yale rushed toward Danziger's still form.

Alonzo knew that there was no time to waste. "NOW!" he frantically yelled to the encircling Terrians. "DO IT NOW!!!"

Without hesitation or fanfare, the Terrians crossed their staffs and bolts of lightning exploded from every direction. The members of Eden Advance were engulfed by the intensity of the blinding beams of light as it overtook their senses. While his friends collapsed into unconsciousness around him, Alonzo quickly closed his eyes and willed himself to the Dreamplane. He remained there for many long minutes as he nervously waited for the creatures to perform their magic.

Finally, a lone Terrian appeared before him in the alternate dimension.

"The task has been completed. It is now safe to awaken and recommence your journey to New Pacifica."

"Did it work?" Solace anxiously questioned. "And what about my friend? Is he okay?"

The being tilted his head to the side and trilled, "Everything has been returned to the way that it should be."

"Yeah," Solace muttered cynically. "That's what you said the last time."

__________

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