Dirges In The Dark by SecondGuess

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“…He was looking pretty shaken up. There was some blood, but I can’t imagine Danziger would ever do something to hurt himself. Look, all I’m saying guys is…it’s Danziger. Our Danziger. If he’s gonna come out of this he’s gonna need us all pulling for him. I know we’ve been giving him his space, but we’ve gotta do something to let him know we’re still here for him, and nothing’s gonna change that.”

A small group had convened around the campfire at Walman’s request, mostly the remainder of the Ops crew and a few others that had found themselves out of the loop. He’d sought out Bess earlier that afternoon after seeing John so shaken up that morning in the Med Tent, and asked if she’d meet with them that evening to discuss everything that had been going on. Giving them his run down of the earlier events he witness, they all listened morosely, almost in disbelief.

Sure, he could have gotten more accurate information from Devon or Julia, but Bess had a way of understanding what was really going on in a given situation, and besides, from what he’d seen that morning, Devon and Julia had their hands full.

“True and Uly have been keeping him distracted, but you know he’s gotta be wondering what’s gonna happen to him, I mean, in the long run.” Bess spoke up, trying her best to relay whatever she could to the group. She felt as though she was on the sidelines herself, and she couldn’t even imagine what the others must be feeling. “I don’t think he’s had that conversation with Julia yet, I’m pretty sure True would have told me. Unless of course he’s playing it close to the vest, trying to spare True a grim diagnosis.”

“Is there any other kind?” Magus asked quickly, frustrated. “The man was run over by a shanking mining vehicle, and here we all are wondering why he’s out of sorts!”

“It would be doing John a disservice for us to adopt such a negative attitude.” Yale interjected by way of a response. “There is no reason for us to doubt that he will lead a long a full life, regardless of any lasting impairments he may have. We must simply help John to see this for himself.”

“But what about a bone healer vaccine? It worked for Alonzo.” Denner chimed in, hear gaze shifting between Bess and Yale and then back again.

“Julia hasn’t said a thing about that.” Bess confessed, inwardly noting that the doctor hadn’t given anyone much information about Danziger’s condition, including the mechanic himself.

“I’m concerned that John’s condition is too complex for such a simple drug. In essence, a bone healer vaccine is only put to good use for a simple fracture. Danziger’s injuries are so extensive that such a vaccine may cause more harm than good.” Yale informed them sadly, the sorrow in his voice plainly evident.

“But it could be worth a shot, right?” Magus argued, the guilt over her part in John’s accident hadn’t lessened. “You know Danziger, he’d want to give it a try, he’d want to try anything if he could to walk again.” Yale sighed, doing his best to keep a cheery disposition. He had searched his library to find anything he could that might help in speeding John’s recovery, and there had been file after file gruesomely depicting the limbs and torsos of test subjects whose wounds were too severe for the drugs they had been given. He hesitated to go into detail about damage such an experiment could inflict.

“It would be…imprudent.” He responded simply, hoping for the sake of the group and John’s spirits, they could put the topic to rest.

“Yeah, but we’re gonna do it anyway.” Julia grimaced, startling the group as she approached them tiredly and took a seat next to Cameron.

No one spoke for a moment, each other them silently pondering the implications of Julia’s statement, as well as the attitude that came along with it. With the exception of Yale, who was doing his best not to immediately interject with his concern.

“”I’ve spoken with John and True, and he understands that there are major risks involved, but we’re hoping that if were careful and get lucky John will at least get some of his mobility back.” At the doubtful looks from John’s friends and a poorly disguised look of horror on Yale’s face, she continued steadily. “I think we all know that if we don’t try this…if we don’t do something, the prognosis is grim. I’m not suggesting he’ll gain anything close to full mobility or even walk again, but if we don’t intervene, even though our course of action may seem drastic, John may never even sit up in bed again.”

It was as though the very thought, the possibility of John Danziger’s powerful spirit being permanently quelled, hadn’t occurred to a single member of Eden Advance. While she loathed being the bearer of such bad news, at the same time Julia was heartened by their unflinching loyalty. They were terrified at putting Danziger in anymore danger. They thought his decision was far too reckless and imprudent. And every single one of them was behind him one hundred percent.

“I’m in the process of working out a plan of action. We’re hoping that I can have the vaccine ready to go the day after tomorrow.”

“Look, I want to apologize to you all for not doing a better job of keeping you informed about Danziger’s condition.” Julia began, meeting the eyes of each member of Eden Advance as she continued. “I guess I was just so concerned with the immediate dangers I was trying to shut everything else out, and I forgot that medicine is only part of the cure. So I’m sorry if my…standoffishness kept you away from the Med Tent. And I know that, for a lot of you, it’s difficult see a friend in John’s condition…” She trailed off, trying to think of how to word her next bit of advice without embarrassing her patient or making his friends feel any worse. “I think he’s missing you all more than he’s letting on, and he feels like he’s shirking his responsibilities and that it’s his fault that we’re not able to keep moving.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Bess scoffed loud enough for the entire group. Everyone else just looked guilty, as though there was any right way to deal with the situation that had been thrust upon Eden Advance. “Accidents happen all the time and no one has any control over them. Oooh, if he wasn’t in that bed I’d slap some sense into him myself!”

Julia smiled a bit at Bess’ typical reaction. The doctor knew that the Earth-Res must know she was the exception to this little speech, that she’d been there for John through thick and thin, regardless of her husband’s medical involvement. In fact, Julia was beginning to think Bess was the most fearless of the whole bunch. It seemed now that the ball had been tossed into the group’s court, Bess would be perfect to lead by example. With her agreeable demeanor, the other Edenites probably wouldn’t even realize they were being led.

“Well, I for one just want to keep busy.” Baines admitted softly from his seat beside Cameron, who nodded stoically in agreement. “I won’t lie and tell you all that I can really stand the sight of Danz in that bed, but I do know that if he sees me hangin’ around reading’ him bedtime stories he’s gonna catch on real fast that I’m not off doing what I should be. You all know him, hell, most of your better than I do! I think he’d want us to keep going about business as usual. Besides, Adair barely leaves his side for a second.”

“As his physician I’m telling you he could do with a few more friendly faces, even if he hates to admit it. And you’re right, by the way. In fact,” she removed a small piece of paper from her pocket and handed it to Bess with a small smile. “Since I’ve ordered him to rest and took away his gear, he’s found a way to circumvent his best interests yet again. yet again, and has been scribbling this message on and off, all afternoon. I think it would be best if it came from a neutral party." She gave them all a smile to ward off the chill in the air around the campfire. It seemed everyone expected the worst.

At Julia's nod Bess opened the folder piece of synth-paper and let out a single bark of laughter before composing herself. She took a moment to study her colleagues, each one leaning forward expectantly from where they sat. Denner sat with her chin in her hands, like a child eagerly awaiting her report card. Magus, on the other hand, still wore the distraught expression she'd been displaying on and off since John's fall, the weary visage of a person desperate for the other shoe to finally drop.

Clearing her throat, Bess began to read efficiently, as though dictating a letter. After all, this was Danziger's message, not her own, and their was more than enough personality in the words themselves. Sometimes John Danziger simply amazed her.

"Where the hell have you all been? If I come out of this tent and find out anyone has been taking joy rides in the DuneRail or shankin’ in the cab of the 'Rover, then my new home the Med Tent will be full of sore Ops Crew asses to keep me company."

Bess paused momentarily, swallowing a chuckle.

"In the interest of the group, and maintaining what little sanity I have left, I'm sending out this to do list. It is not optional."

"I see the chronic machismo hasn't improved." Mazatl interjected with his good-natured deadpan and a rare grin. Several group members laughed at his spot-on assessment.

"First off, Magus: wipe that look off your face and stop blaming yourself for my own stupidity. That isn't optional either." Walman giggled maniacally at the shocked look on his companions face, and Bess felt her own cheeks pinken in sympathy. "I'd rather you concentrate your efforts on the upkeep of the vehicles. Just because they aren't moving doesn't mean there's nothing rusting or slipping out of gear from lack of use."

Taking another deep breath, Bess continued on, doing her best to sound neutral.

"Walman: When you're finished repairing the faulty rotator cuff you should probably double check all the others, make sure nothing else is on the way out. And make sure True cleans the tools and puts them all back in the right places when she's done using 'em, I've told her this myself but something tells me that lately my parental authority isn't what it used to be. Thanks for keeping her busy."

Seeing her husband's name next on the list, Bess did her best not to pause in her reading and scan ahead. Instead, she continued on diligently, reciting John's instructions verbatim.

"Martin: Get off your ass and help Cameron with the computer modifications for the 'Rover. I want a complete diagnostic to run every 48 hours to prevent anymore gradual decay from going undetected, and I know he could use some of your programming expertise."

From the corner of her eye, Bess could see her husband was doing his best to look nonchalant at the rare praise bestowed upon him. She knew it meant the world to him.

"And if you let True play in that horror movie VR game one more time I will personally remove a little more of that B-Positive. She may act like she's thirty-five but she's only eleven and it's giving her nightmares."

Various guffaws and chuckles skirted the perimeter of the fire, and Julia watched her friends as each one absorbed Danziger's words of wisdom. In a way, they all looked as though he was speaking to them from beyond the grave, as though they were unaware of just how lost he'd seemed to them until this meeting. As Bess continued reading from the list that the doctor herself had made a point not to peek at, Julia felt a deep satisfaction at the expressions on the crew's faces.

It wasn't so much a list of chores as it was an affirmation; a reminder that John still trusted them implicitly. Everything on his list had already been done or was currently being worked on, and the simple sweetness of John's message lay in the fact that they were certain he already knew that. It was the gruff mechanics only way of acknowledging their dedication and friendship.

"Julia: Don't look so shocked, of course you're on the list- though you've arguably got the easiest assignment. I need to you spend the night in Flyboy's tent and enjoy a few hours away from my grouchy ass. I'm not playing around, Doc, when you unfailingly attempt to return you'll find that Adair's set up camp in your bunk and Uly is guarding the entrance with his 'Terrian staff.' Please take some time." Bess found herself swallowing thickly at the poorly disguised maelstrom of emotions playing across Julia's face. "Tomorrow is a busy day."

"Lonz: Come see me in the morning and bring that shankin’ leg brace so we can discuss the necessary alterations with Julia. Once we figure it out I'm gonna need Mazatl and anyone who isn't busy to help finish any modifications and fabrications A.S.A.P."

"Bess:" It felt funny to read her own name out with such detachment. "If you could find a way to get True involved in that project without it seeming like it was my idea, I would really appreciate it. She's got this crazy notion that I'm gonna walk again and I think this would help her see everything a little more clearly."

This lightening bolt of pessimism struck so swiftly that Bess hadn't even realized its implications until she felt the heavy air left in its wake. Whether his comment was poor excuse for a joke or he'd meant it as a wake up call, Danziger had succeeded in vaporizing every last trace of merriment around the campfire.

The Earth-Res instantly felt an irrational pang of guilt for having been the one to speak the words, as though the others would direct their frustration and anger at her in the hopes of some perverse transubstantiation. In reality, all eyes around the campfire were focused intently on the ground, and Bess bore sole witness to the Edenites private sorrows.

She studied poor Magus, sitting stiffly as Walman's strong arm snaked across her shoulders comfortingly. Bess knew that she suffered from nightmares most nights, that in the bad ones Devon and the group vote to leave her behind for her negligence. In the worse ones, the group rushed to Danziger's aid to find he had simply disappeared.

Julia bore an expression that made it clear that her mind was racing. She'd been consumed by her concern for John's health for so long now that it seemed she was incapable of focusing on anything else. At the same time, Bess knew the doctor found herself incapable and ill-equipped to deal with her patient's mental health.

Bess studied them all, and wished for a moment that they could all suffer from True's adolescent conviction. Danziger's overprotective love for his daughter had had been the soft punctuation at the end of every bit of instruction she'd given in his honor. It would always be his prime objective.

So he looked to his friends to protect her from harm, to provide her with the tough love he found himself suddenly incapable of doling out, and Bess knew that every member of Eden Advance would do anything for the little girl with the lopsided braids that they'd all, in some small way, come to think of as their own daughter.

Danziger was terrified, she knew. Terrified of seeing disappointment everywhere he looked, whether it be at the group gathered around the fire or at his own reflection. But what he was most scared of was not being able to protect his little girl, of waking up one morning to see the same disappointment in True's eyes. It was clouding his judgment, it was upsetting his friends and it was doing nothing to speed his recovery.

Bess, however, made a promise to Danziger at that moment. She promised she would always look out for True's best interests, even if that meant she had to guard his child from the one thing he hadn't accounted for: himself.

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