Dirges In The Dark by SecondGuess

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Yale didn’t think he was helping matters at all.

He and the children were keeping their own distant vigil in the area they’d been using as a fire pit. It was far enough away to allow him the blessing of a distraction, yet close enough that True could be at her father’s side in a moment’s notice. Close enough that he, too, could be called upon should his services be needed. Devon had asked him earlier, when he’d come to collect True, if he would be ready with a blessing should the procedure turn bleak. He hadn’t the heart to remind her that they had no idea what sort of religious beliefs John practiced, if any at all. And yet, all he could see was the pain and the fear in her eyes, and he’d instantly agreed wholeheartedly. Besides, if it would help settle the hearts and minds of his terrified colleagues and ease the suffering of his dying friend, he’d gladly recite every prayer he could find in his databanks threefold. Of course, he doubted very much that it would help at all.

Still. Just in case.

That’s what Devon had said. In fact, if he lived to be one hundred and twenty, those where the three words Yale hoped to never hear again. It seemed a trifle hypocritical to force such good-will on the ailing mechanic, to manufacture tales of a sunny future and demand good cheer in return, only to harbor such doubts in the greedy pits of their stomachs.

He himself was guilty of such a sin, guilty and sick at the thought that he hadn’t tried harder to stop John from the madness he was undertaking just a few feet away. How could he condemn his friends for their insistence that John would be cured even as he berated himself for harboring such morbid, malevolent thoughts?

True hadn’t been present for the group meeting they’d held while Danziger had been fitfully dozing the night before. Even Devon and Julia had quietly crept from the Med Tent just long enough to assign tasks and go over just what would have to be accomplished to guard against further harm to Danziger’s injuries and to ensure a safe procedure.

She’d elected to remain at her father’s side, true to her word that she’d stay until she was forced to go. Devon had sent Uly in as well, to visit with John should he wake, but mostly to try and lift the little girl’s spirits a bit. The very moment True had grudgingly left her father earlier that morning, she’d informed Yale matter-of-factly that she wanted to know all the details that had been discussed in her absence. Her expression made it clear that she would know if he was softening the blow, so to speak, and that she would have none of it.

So now he sat with the two children, his cybernetic arm flashing luminous three-dimensional pictures and charts as he prudently scanned the many texts he’d found for the most innocuous and pertinent information. Uly sat watching with a patient expression that made him look years older than any little boy ought to. In fact, the tutor had felt a momentary pang of compunction when he’d begun his ‘lesson,’ unsure if Devon would rather spare her son the gruesome details.

As it was, he was secretly glad that True had such a strong companion, someone who had been through so much in his young life that he could genuinely be a confidant to her, in a time when it seemed sometimes frightening to speak to the adults about her father’s condition. Watching the two children at play, silently observing each somber lull in the playful bickering, Yale was often greatly pleased to see Uly’s small hand resting carefully on the young girl’s arm. It seemed that in all the clamoring and worrying, he was the only member of Eden advance to realize what a magnificent piece of good fortune it was that both children had found each other, here in such a far away place.

True seemed greatly curious and interested in everything the tutor was able to explain about her father‘s condition, or had until the first startled yelp had drifted from the Med Tent, signaling that the group had begun readying Danziger for the procedure. Now, as much as he attempted to draw her focus away from such things, her eyes were permanently fixed on the ominous yellow dome. Uly, however, refused to even glance in the direction of the disturbance.

It was clear to Yale now, seeing the full effects of Danziger’s suffering on the young boy, that in the communal haste to see to the comfort of Danziger and his uncharacteristically fragile daughter, the effect it was having on Ulysses had been grossly overlooked. The cyborg had done his best to answer the boy’s endless questions and assure him that he would always lend a friendly ear, but Devon’s continued distance from her son had begun to take a toll.

The depths of Devon’s feelings towards John had been no great secret for some time now, and yet the fervor and depth of emotion she’d been displaying since his accident had been shocking to say the least. Nearly every member of Eden Advance had been in her position, they’d all lived difficult, trying lives long before they’d crash landed twenty-two light years away from everyone and everything the called home. They’d loved deeply and lost a great deal, and each had looked in on Devon silently sitting with John these past days with a familiar pang of despair. The children, however, were just beginning to connect the dots, each of them learning in their own private ways that, while their parents would always love them unconditionally and completely, a secret part of their hearts had been given away without youthful consent.

Strangely, True seemed to be taking the recent infringement of personal time with her father remarkably well. In fact, the girl had come to trust Devon enough to confide in her and look to her for comfort, when Yale had been sure she would be met with a much colder response. But these were trying times, and he was pleased to see that they had brought out the best in everyone. The tutor was certain that when things settled down a bit, and he was able to spend more time with his mother, and enjoy John’s full attention and fatherly influence, Uly would see things more clearly.

“Oooh, easy!”

Both children jumped as Danziger’s afflicted bark rose over the indistinguishable din floating on the mild morning breeze. True finally turned back to face Yale with tears pooling in her soft brown eyes, her face red with the effort she’d been exerting not to cry.

“I wish they weren’t hurting him so much.” She said simply, tiredly. There was nothing else to say on this beautiful sunny day, waiting outside for her father to live or die.

On the other side of the equation, feeling the oppressive weight of protecting this child from such an unbelievable burden, Yale was similarly lost for words. In his heart he wanted to comfort her and assure her that her father would be fine, that it would all be over soon and he could begin his recovery with her at his side. In his mind, however, he couldn’t bear to be the bearer or one more empty placation, when they were both profoundly aware of all that was at stake.

“There is nothing I would like more, True. But now we must be patient and keep him in our thoughts.” He stifled the urge to add ‘and prayers’ to his response, the words sounded hollow even to his own ears. True nodded, accepting the grim truth.

“You’re Dad’s the strongest man I’ve ever met, True. You’ll see, he’s gonna be okay.” Uly had been reticent to say much of anything all morning, but seeing his friends growing distress he finally reached out to her, rubbing a hand across her shoulder like he’d seen Mr. Danziger do hundreds of times. “Sometimes when your in a lot of pain, it makes you stronger. It makes you want to fight to get well.”

True studied him carefully, accessing the merit of his words, and did her best to give him a smile, wiping her eyes roughly with the back of her hand.

“You’re pretty smart, for such a stupid kid.” She informed him, without a hint of malice in her tone. Uly laughed a bit at that, appreciative of the faintest trace of normalcy. Yale watched as the boy wracked his brain for a retort, but sensed he knew better to poke fun in return.

“Least I don’t smell.” He finally muttered, his fallback response for any given situation where True’s one-upmanship had triumphed. True rolled her eyes and sniffed a bit, peeking at the Med Tent again from the corner of her eye.

Yale smiled a bit himself, clapping his hands on his knees softly. Every day her grew increasingly proud of what fine young man Ulysses was growing into. He had no doubt that John’s guidance and even True herself and played a role in this.

“Yeah, you do.” She added as an afterthought, though there wasn’t much fight behind it.

“Children, Children!” Yale decided to play along, not wanting to be the only one left out of the routine they had all perfected over the long months. “You both smell equally foul, now why don’t we have a lesson to pass the time--”

The loud rustle of the Med Tent flap cause all three reluctant sentries to jump this time, and all eyes searched to find Morgan Martin ducking out, squinting a bit at the sunlight.

“Sure, let’s do this every day…” They heard Mazatl quip as Morgan carefully shut the folds behind him, and the sound of relieved laughter followed.

Running the short distance towards them with his thumbs high in the air as though they might consider shooting the messenger, the bureaucrat was beaming from ear to ear.

“Everything’s going really well so far, your--” He stumbled over a small rock, nearly going down before catching himself. Yale heard Uly stifle a snicker but decided to let it pass. “Your Dad’s doing great, True.” He knelt carefully by the little girl and clapped her on the back. “The braces are on and he‘s feeling much better. One down one to go!” His animated style cleared the somber air, and the little girl let out a small sigh. “Boy, he’s one stubborn son of a bitch, huh?” He asked her seriously, having taken a quick course in “Dealing with True 101” over a quick breakfast with Julia.

Yale rolled his eyes, but couldn’t quite hold on to any exasperation at the sound of True’s chuckles. Between the elder Danziger and all his well-meaning compatriots, when things got back to normal the whole camp would be washing their mouths out with dry-soap if he had anything to say about it.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you guys since we crashed on this damn planet.” She reminded him matter-of-factly. “If my Dad says he’s gonna do something, he’s gonna do it. I don’t know why all of you are so worried.” Hands on her hips, True could lie like a champion. If Yale hadn’t been there to see her frightened tears only moments ago, even he would have believed this false show of bravado.

“Don’t have to tell me twice, I mean, about the stubborn part. I was with you on that one from day one.” He let out a small laugh. “Remember that time I dropped my gear off the, um, cliff, and he made me pack up camp by myself?” True snickered, that had been a great morning. “Well, there I was, bright and early, taking down the Mess Tent because I said to myself ‘Self? That Danziger means business, and what he says goes--’”

“Yeah, and you were whinin’ about it the whole time.” She reminded him, making Yale’s hardened heart ache to see John storming around camp again, issuing decrees.

“Well, I wouldn’t call it whining, I may have protested a bit--”

“You spent the whole day showing everyone that blister on your hand.” Uly reminded him with great relish, sensing that--just this once--Mr. Martin might want them to make fun of him a bit, if it would cheer True up. “I thought John was gonna clobber you by lunch time!”

True did laugh then, and Morgan nodded in ridiculous agreement.

“Exactly! Case in point, Uly. Your Dad is a force to be reckoned with, True. Usually by me. I mean, I do the reckoning, he does the force. Which is fine, but hey, check it out!” He extended his arm proudly, showing off the bandage that covered the area where Julia had drawn blood numerous times.

“Another blister, Morgan?” Yale teased, setting Uly and True off again. He winked at Morgan over their heads.

“I figure, as long as I have this bandage it will remind your Dad that this time I actually helped save his tail, and maybe I won’t get on his nerves so much. I mean, I’ll also try not to get on his nerves so much. Which is something I haven’t been so successful with before, but this time I have a good feeling. Course, I think I’ll keep the bandage for a little while. To be safe.”

True extended her hand to him, and when he reached up to shake it she shook her head at him like an exasperated parent. “Good luck, Morgan.” She sarcastically added.

Uly reached out to shake on it, too, not wanting to be left out, making Yale think for the first time that maybe Morgan and the children were right. His grim insistence on keeping a realistic view of John’s situation wasn’t going to change the eventual outcome. Perhaps it would be best to take a valuable lesson from Morgan’s kind show of self-abasement and subscribe to the theory that John’s recovery wasn’t a matter or medicine, but a matter of faith.

As Morgan righted himself and brushed off the knees of his ragged pants, a sudden scream of pain echoed from the Med Tent, so loud the breath caught in Yale’s throat. Morgan, remarkably calm for a man of his excitability, quickly gave True’s hand a squeeze.

“Guess they’re starting without me.” He mumbled quickly as he turned to sprint back into the Med Tent, sweeping the entryway aside and disappearing swiftly into the chaos.

“Talk to me, John! What hurts?”

Only Julia’s deceptively calm question slipped audibly out of the tent, rising on a wave of cacophonous voices and shouting. Even after the flap had been shut once again Danziger’s answer could be heard, a series of wails so visceral that the hair on Yale’s forearms had begun to stand on end. Reaching out frantically, he grabbed the stunned children in his charge by the arms, pulling a shaking True quickly into his lap and wrapping the other arm tightly around Ulysses.

“Don’t be frightened, children. It will be all over very soon and John will be commending you both for being so brave, and so mature and helpful.” He spoke in a hushed whisper, meeting each child’s eye with ardent conviction. “True, your father loves you very much and he told me just yesterday that he is so proud of what a strong girl you’ve been. He loves you so very much.”

Yale found his power of speech failing him, watching this beautiful young girl quiver silently, tears streaming down her cheeks. He wanted to repeat his to her words over and over, fill her aching heart with the reassurance that her father would come back to her.

He wanted to tell Uly that John loved him like his own son, and that he always be there to protect him, to protect them all in the fiercely loyal way that only he could. But he could feel the sudden pull of loss himself, so imminent, as though they were on the escape pod once again, trembling in the darkness, hurtling towards uncertainty.

It was True that brought him back to himself.

“Yale?” She asked, her voice no more than a watery whisper, “Do you know any prayers?”

And he finally knew the right words to say.

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