Dirges In The Dark by SecondGuess

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“Okay, let’s get ready to ease him down gently.” Julia ordered shakily, the rush of adrenaline and the tense pandemonium of the last several minutes etching fractures in the icy surface of her demeanor. Even as she spoke, the only member of her team that didn’t seem to have a hand in holding some part of Danziger’s body steady or coaxing it into stiff action, her DiaGlove whirred with test after test, anxious to find any trace of internal bleeding or a sign of further injury. They had been incredibly lucky.

Despite a few sutures that hadn’t faired well with all the sudden movement, there hadn’t been any internal damage done by the vaccine to the shattered left leg. There had been a slight bit of trouble with the patella of John’s more hopeful right knee, and she’d had to quickly remove the brace on his calf to give her the room to physically guide it into position, the final straw in Danziger’s terribly painful ordeal.

Her patient, now hanging limp in Walman and Devon’s arms as they awaited the word to begin guiding him down to the mattress, mindful of his newly fused pelvic bones, had lost all control over himself partway through the procedure. His hoarse shouts of agony dissolved into frantic tears, and eventually nothing but a stunned stupor. Danziger was frighteningly quiet as they’d carefully bent and flexed his right side, rotating the ankle at the first sign of a optimistic prognosis on his lower leg, and she’d found herself distracted several times throughout the procedure, constantly checking to make sure he hadn’t lost consciousness, irrationally terrified that he was experiencing internal distress that her finely-tuned instruments were somehow unable to detect.

As it was, he was demonstrating the first signs of hypovolaemic shock, but she was fairly confident now that his thready pulse and labored breathing were as much a result of the pain and the traumatic side-effects of the vaccine than new bleeding. With all that hair and his head hanging down it was hard to read much of anything from his expression.

“Okay, slow and easy. John? You still with us?” She asked gently, coming around to lend support on Devon’s side. Her free hand running the DiaGlove across his chest.

“John? It’s all over now, it‘s all over.” Devon added, the fright in her voice swirling brackishly with the newly evident affection she could no longer see the sense in hiding. As they began to lower him, his head flopped backwards limply, revealing a blissfully vacant expression in his droopy eyes, wet with tears and glistening with sweat.

“Danziger, I need you to talk to us if you can, okay?” Julia asked calmly, shushing Devon gently when she began to panic at his unnerving silence. “I need you to tell me if your having any type of localized pain in your left side. John?” She asked, supporting his head as they softly settled him back, Bess quickly spreading a solar blanket tenderly over his legs, pulling it up to his chin,

Turning to Devon, her eyes flitting over the anxious group of stunned onlookers, Julia attempted a small smile.

“I think he’s just blacked out, there’s no sign of bleeding or cardiopulmonary distress, I think the pain was just a bit too much for him.” She studied the readout on her forearm, anxious for the bone density readout to show levels consistent with optimal fusion so she could begin Danziger’s regime of beta-blockers, antibiotics and pain relief. Despite the quiver of exhilaration running through her at the thought of their incredibly successful procedure, she’d be much more confident when she had his vitals under control, and he was comfortable enough to give them all that lopsided grin they were craving.

Devon knelt tensely by her side, wiping the perspiration from John’s brow, trying not to be alarmed by his heavy lidded, sightless stare.

“Hey Danziger, it’s time to wake up now, c’mon. We’re in the home stretch, you did great.” She murmured softly, startled a bit when, with an almost imperceptible blink, he was back.

“I’m here.” He whispered, his eyes still refusing to focus. Devon grinned, her hand still resting on his forehead, And Bess turned to hug Morgan fiercely, the entire group quietly erupting into a celebratory bluster of hugs and pats on the back.

“Welcome back, John” Julia beamed, Alonzo arriving at her side quickly wiping the last traces of blood from his hands with a rag before giving her a quick squeeze.

“Your unbelievable, man! Great job!” He added softly, reaching out to rub Danziger’s shoulder.

“M’not…dead?” John asked faintly, and Julia let out a chuckle before realizing, in his state of exhaustion and confusion, her patient was asking a serious question.

“Not only are you not dead, John, but I’m starting to think that nothing can kill you.” She assured him good-naturedly. His only response was a slow, tired blink. “Everything went perfectly, and as soon as your readouts are steady I’m gonna get you something for the pain, I promise.”

“You’ve got a set on you, Danz, I’ll give you that much.” Walman teased, each Edenite steadily creeping closer to the bed for a better look at their prodigal mechanic. Morgan gave his signature thumbs up, a bit at a loss for words with his teary eyed wife clinging to him tightly. He was rewarded with a faint twitch of the mouth that seemed to be John’s best attempt at a fatigued smile.

Devon carefully took his hand, and he watched with a remote fascination, as though he wasn’t entirely sure it was still connected to the rest of his body.

“You did it, John.” She whispered, the tears in her eyes sparkling in the ambient light of the Med Tent.

“How’s your left side, Danziger? Do you feel any sharp pain at all?” He stared at the doctor in a stupor, his wandering gaze drifting to some unspecified point on the dome ceiling.

“John? How’s your left leg?” Julia tried again in vain, knowing he was just too out of it to be much diagnostic help. Her monitors still weren’t registering any significant internal distress, however, and with a sigh she allowed herself to relax a bit more, finally accepting the fact that everything truly had gone as planned. For once.

“I guess no news is good news, right Doc?” Alonzo teased, shaking his head fondly at his disorientated friend, flushed with relief.

“I need….True.” The mechanic mumbled drunkenly, just as Julia’s DiaGlove let out two sharp trills, and even as she turned to retrieve her Hypogun she found Denner standing just behind her, the medication at the ready in her hands.

“What you need is rest, Danziger.” She coaxed, quickly injecting him with a dose of the augmented pain block before reloading the gun with a second vile and administering a large dose of antibiotics. “Morgan will go round up True, right now you need to sleep. True will be here when you wake up, okay?” At the mention of his name Morgan was off in a flash with Bess at his heels, eager to share the good news with those outside, and even as Julia’s equipment began to register a more stable respiratory pattern it seemed John was already down for the count.

“Tell True-Girl…” He started, his words evaporating into unintelligible murmurs before trailing of completely.

“Shhh, once you’re feeling better you can tell her yourself.” Julia promised her woozy patient gently, speaking more for herself and her friends than Danziger’s sake. “You’re not going anywhere, Danziger. You’re gonna stay here with us and you’re gonna get out of that bed very soon.”

“C’mon, guys, let’s let Danz get some rest. I think this calls for a celebration!” Walman announced happily, herding his excited, still slightly overwhelmed friends out of the tent. “How about a round of Spirolina? I’m buying.”

Various groans were mixed in with the general congratulatory chatter as the Edenites filed tiredly out, and soon Devon and Julia were left alone with a slumbering Danziger, resting peacefully as though he didn’t have a care in the world.

Julia quickly stood, gathering crimson spotted cloths and stray equipment, dumping them in a hasty pile before carefully puling back the blanket at the foot of the bed, already disinfecting and cleaning the ragged sutures before Devon’s frazzled mind had even registered that the Doctor had left her side.

Not taking her eyes off Danziger’s fluttering eyelashes, she tentatively broke the silence.

“Were you telling him the truth?” She asked bashfully, running her thumb over a spot of blood on John’s lower lip, where he’d broken the delicate skin with clenched teeth.

“Telling him the truth about what?” Julia responded detachedly, her chromo-skewed mind working overtime to distance herself from the situation.

“When you told him he’d be getting out of bed soon.” Devon clarified, weary of the answer and Julia’s obvious evasiveness.

“I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t think it was true.” She responded, a layer of frost already gathering on her dismissive tone. As Devon watched, the doctor methodically ran the tip of her pen-light along the instep of John’s right foot, then across the tip of each toe, observing each flinch and tapping on her HoloPad. She looked absolutely exhausted.

“Hey.” Devon admonished softly, finally drawing her friend’s gaze from her work. Julia tried her best to look exasperated, but as she met the leader’s eyes she was struck with the relief and fear in her bleary expression. The same emotions were still at war within herself, as much as she tried to deny herself their release.

“Devon, I’m sorry--”

“I don’t want you to be sorry.” The leader cut her off, her gaze trailing back to Danziger’s oddly cherubic features, soft with sleep. “ I want you to be happy. I want you to be filled with relief and pride that you’ve accomplished a wonderful thing for John, and for all of us. And I want you to slow down and realize how exhausted you are.” She glanced back to see Julia frozen in her spot, pen light still raised expectantly for it’s next pass. “I want you to rest, Julia. Let yourself feel it, it’s okay.”

She finished in nearly a whisper, and she’d barely gotten the last word out before Julia’s hands dropped to her sides and her face crumbled, the pen light rolling, forgotten, under Danziger’s cot.

Devon rose swiftly, gently placing Danziger’s hand at his side before rushing to embrace the trembling doctor. The thought crossed her mind that it was these small examples of simple kindnesses that the woman before her had been denied her entire life. Her parents had engineered her to not require such a mundane reassurance as touching. Devon felt shameful that there was ever a time in her life that she’d seen nothing wrong with chromo-tilting, as though it would ever be possible to augment a living being without taking something precious away in return. Julia sniffed loudly against her shoulder, and Devon found herself rubbing her friend’s shoulders as though it were her son, awakened in the darkness from some terrible nightmare. Maybe Julia had something more in common with Uly than either of them knew. G889 had undoubted healed Uly’s body, but Devon was just beginning to see that this incredible place had somehow healed Julia’s soul as well.

“It’s so hard seeing him in that much pain, knowing I’m the only one who can do anything about it, knowing that every time he flinches, every time we have to put him though some sort of horrible procedure, I’m responsible. It’s me.” Julia spoke quietly, gently disentangling herself from Devon and wiping her nose on her sleeve.

“He’s your friend, Julia. It doesn’t make you a bad doctor because you feel sympathy for your patient. But it doesn’t mean your at fault either. John chose to take the vaccine because he knew he could trust you. He knew that if there was anyone who could pull him through it, it would be you.” Julia let out a watery laugh, sitting back tiredly on her haunches.

“Yeah, well, as our smooth-talking pilot once said, I’m the best doc in town.” She sighed, rejecting the leader’s praise.

“What a gentleman.” Devon scoffed, reaching out absently to rest her hand against Danziger’s foot, as though she could give him her strength through osmosis. “It hasn’t been easy for me Julia, first trusting you with my son’s care, then learning to trust you all over again.” Julia looked away shyly. “I want you to listen to me and believe me when I tell you that you are the best doctor I have ever known. You are the only doctor I want looking after Uly, the only one I trust to do what’s best for John, and for all of us. And I want you to know that when we reach New Pacifica and meet the colony ship, those feelings aren’t going to change. You will always be the best doc in town.”

The smile Devon received lit Julia’s face in a way she had never seen before. She hoped that in the future, she would see it much more often.

“Then we’d better get John up and around; I think the look on Vasquez’ face will easily be worth a few thousand miles.” Both women chuckled, helping each other to shakily stand.

Devon resumed her post at Danziger’s side, just in time to see him huff a bit in his sleep, shifting his upper body with a new found ease as he grumbled, caught in a dream.

“…s‘solar fuse…s’too lose…” Julia turned from her work table, startled to hear his voice, but her features softened when she saw he was still deeply under.

“Guess we got ourselves one dedicated mechanic.” She ribbed, watching with renewed amusement as Devon leaned in to gently kiss Danziger’s brow. That would definitely take some getting used to.

“He’s like a dog chasing repairs.” Devon spoke with a rare tenderness in her voice, turning to gauge Julia’s reaction with the bright eyes of a proud parent. Julia had seen that look before, at every hint of improvement from her ailing son, and later at each small achievement that brought him that much closer to being a ‘normal boy.” All the pride was there, but there was something different in her expression, too.

Julia grinned again, turning back to her disarrayed equipment. If there had been any doubt in her mind before, the spark in Devon’s eyes as she watched over Danziger washed them all away.

Devon Adair was a woman in love.

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