Dirges In The Dark by SecondGuess

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“I cannot BELIEVE that you would do something this stupid! It blows my mind!” Devon stormed into the tent as though the devil himself was on her heels; seething mad and chomping at the bit to give the mulish mechanic a piece of her mind. At her raucous entrance, Julia nearly leapt off her stool, and True, sitting on the edge of her sleeping Dad’s bunk with his thick arm wrapped loosely around her waist, let out a squeak.

“After all this group has done for you! After all the hours Julia has spent caring for you and so help me God, John Danziger, if you don’t stop pretending you’re asleep every time you don’t want to deal with me I’m going to knock you unconscious myself!” She finished, looming with her fists digging groves into her hips.

Clearing her throat delicately, careful not to make eye contact with True and lose her professional demeanor, Julia fought the urge to snap back at the tactless leader.

“Actually, Devon, John is asleep.” She informed her softly, and Devon whipped her head back in the direction of the bed just in time to receive a warning glare from True. “We just got him settled in.”

“Was asleep…” Danziger mumbled groggily, wincing at his rude awakening. True sympathetically patted the arm in her lap, recently bandaged and still catheter free. At first, she was just as angry at her father as Devon was, but that didn’t mean she had to go around screaming and shouting, either. Her Dad had done something really, really dumb, but by now everyone had figured that out, and it was a fitting punishment that he felt so crummy.

The last thing he needed from Queen Adair was twenty tongue-lashes to get him all worked up again. Geez, didn’t Devon know better than that?

“Devon, I think its best for everyone to stay calm and discus this sensibly. John knows that what he did this morning was incredibly rash, but in a way he’s right--by not giving him all the facts we were being unfair.” Julia spoke on his behalf, clearly still guilty that her silence had brought on his reckless behavior.

Devon didn’t really see how the two things were related. John had been very sick, and now wasn’t the time to even consider such a dangerous procedure. By keeping information from him they had done nothing wrong, they were merely protecting him from further harm. Of course, Danziger wasn’t content until he’d put his own safety in jeopardy for the sake of the group, so he’d found a way regardless of their help to the contrary. Curse that man, when was he going to figure out that all the group really needed from him was friendship and well-being, repairs be damned?

“Danziger, I will not allow you to do this!” She hissed, even as she realized just how arrogant her words sounded. In her mind she knew that a blatant show of superiority would do nothing but strengthen his resolve, but she was just so angry and scared that she couldn’t seem to relay that fact to her mouth.

Danziger, who up until this point had been groggily taking her tantrum with a grain of synth-salt, nearly choked on the air in disbelief, so thick was the haze of Devon’s self-righteous indignation.

“Where do you get off thinkin’ I’m lyin’ here waitin’ for your permission, lady?” He spat in response. Despite the hushed quality, there was no mistaking the resentment he felt towards her haughtiness. In fact, Devon silently noted, he hadn’t called her ‘lady’ in months.

Suddenly, she realized with dread in her heart that this one errant display of authority could very well have undone all the careful give and take she and John had endured to achieve the symbiotic relationship they’d only just begun to enjoy. It had taken twice as long for Danziger to accept her trust in him than it had for her to give him that trust in the first place. Now it was her intense fear of losing him, this man she cared so much about, that had her driving him away.

“Danziger…John, I’m sorry. You’re right, it’s not my decision to make, I didn’t mean for that to sound so--”

“Snooty?” True supplied in an even tone. Danziger pulled on her shirt, glowering at his daughter from his sickbed with a fury that would melt ice.

“True Eleanor Danziger, apologize!” He ground out, eyeing Devon embarrassedly. To his surprise, she was smiling,

“It’s okay John, she’s just kidding.” She assured him, winking at True knowingly. Danziger hadn’t yet realized the tentative bond she and True had formed in the recent past, that she knew now that the girl’s blunt nature wasn’t meant as disrespect, but was rather a badge of honesty that time and maturity hadn’t yet tarnished.

“No she’s not.”
“No I’m not.”

The twin responses from the Danzigers rang out at the same time, one angry and the other argumentative. Devon’s smile only broadened.

“You’re right True, it sounded awful.“ She conceited, distractedly amused at John’s agape expression. She twisted her fingers at her sides, desperate to convince him that old habits died hard, but she wasn‘t the same woman he‘d clashed with his first few days planeside. “And I never meant to imply that I don’t trust your judgment, John. It’s just that--”

“In this case you do.” This time Danziger finished for her himself, a slow grin taking the sting out of the truthful words. No matter how obnoxious she was being, he could sense the fear and desperation just below the surface. In fact, high and mighty Devon Adair looked as though she might cry again, and she’d been doing far to much of that on his account for Danziger’s liking.

Letting out a harsh laugh, Devon did her best to force herself to relax. Content that her impetuous outburst hadn’t started World War V, she let out a sigh and took up residence of the stool by John’s bunk.

“Yeah, in this case I do.” She agreed, offering her hand when he untangled himself from True and reached for it. “You know I’m just worried about you, Danziger. I don’t know what life on this planet is like when I’m not worrying about something.”

“Well, all the worry in the universe ain’t gonna get me out of this bed, Adair. Besides, worryin’s my job, and I’m doin’ enough of that for everyone in camp.” His soft tone played over her senses like the reedy, calming quaver of an oboe. The solid strength of him was still there, hidden in the rough.. “But I’ve gotta do somethin‘, even if it is risky.”

“Don’t you think you’ve already risked enough?” She asked, her gaze drifting to True, who sat quietly by her father, gaze downcast, picking at a piece of loose tape on his bandage.

“What is it you blue-blood’s were always spoutin’ back in the days of the Sky-Launch?” He asked, using the term with affection rather than insult. “I remember an old vid-chip of my Grandparents, goin’ on and on about a better life for the Danziger family.” He paused, eyes closed in concentration, trying to recall the correct wording. When he had they opened, flooding Devon’s world with blue.

“‘Pray to God, but Fly for the Stations’, right?” She frowned, both at the antiquated propaganda employed by her ancestors and where she knew he was headed with it. “I’ve gotta try something, anything… even Julia understands that! If I lie here and just take it my life is over, Devon.” True glanced up at her father wearily, and his free hand came up to rub her back reassuringly. “At least then I know I tried, even if I end up right where I started.”

“You could wind up killing yourself, and for what? You were incredibly lucky to have survived this at all, Danziger. Why don’t you just wait, when the colony ship comes, you can go back with them and seek better treatment, on the stations you’re a free man--”

“On the stations I’m a dead man, Adair! Credits or no, the council tried to kill us! By now they’ve covered it up, announced us all deceased twenty-three years ago and moved on!” He huffed a bit, seemingly disbelieving of Devon’s naiveté. Seeing the warning glares shooting at him from three irate sets of eyes he curbed his temper. “Whether I planned for it or not, I think the only place I was ever meant to be a free man was on G889.”

He tugged Devon’s hand closer, giving her knuckles a quick peck that did not go unnoticed by Julia and True. The doctor mentally filed it away with all the other damning evidence the group had surreptitiously gathered in the month prior to John’s accident. It seemed this wake up call had affected both parties involved.

True on the other hand, while not exactly thrilled at the prospect of sharing her father, just wished they’d hurry up and figure things out already. She had never seen her father so happy as he had been recently with Devon, and if anyone on this crazy planet deserved a little happiness it was her Dad. Especially now.

“C’mon, Devon, you know I could never leave here. I couldn’t leave all this space, the wind…you.” He finished so softly she had to strain to hear. “I want to try this, and I want you to have faith in me and my uncanny streak of immortality, just this once.”

Devon had never thought she’d find herself in a position to be sweet talked by Danziger, but here she was, and dear lord it was actually working.

“You don’t have to do this, John. You don’t have to prove yourself to me or anyone else. We’ve come to rely on your for too much--and it has nothing to do with physical limitations.“ He winced at the thorough glossing over she was giving the situation. Things had been going too well lately, and the group had settled into a comfortable rhythm, but that didn’t mean the circumstances wouldn’t change in a flash, and when push came to shove he would be a hindrance at best, but more likely a liability.

“C’mon Adair, don’t go forgettin’ all those arguments we had when we first landed. It’s still about survival, it’s still about gettin’ everyone to New Pacifica, but not at the expense of someone‘s life. I refuse to be another useless piece of cargo for everyone to haul around. I won’t put you all in danger.”

Devon wanted to be shaken by his dismissive attitude, but at her core she couldn’t help but see the truth in his statement. Not that she thought for a moment that she or anyone in Eden Advance would ever think of their beloved John Danziger as a burden, but she could all too easily see this deep admiration for the man clouding their judgment in a crisis. It would destroy him to know that someone had been hurt or killed taking his place in a combat situation, or while trying to protect him from further harm.

“You know that’s not the truth!” She tried one last time to rationalize with the bullheaded mechanic. “What about Alonzo’s broken leg when we first landed, or…or my mandatory bed rest when we left the Anson’s ship?”

He shook his head dismissively, his fingers absently twirling a piece of True’s hair.

“Not the same, Adair. Those were temporary conditions, and even so there was a whole lotta lost sleep, and way too much hesitation. You just said it yourself, Devon, there’s too much to worry about on this planet. I won’t make my problem everyone else’s. Let me try this thing.”

In the end, when she looked back at the way events had unfolded, Devon realized that it was Danziger’s soft request that swayed her resolve. It was his acknowledgement that he wouldn’t push the issue any further without her support that made her truly understand how much she meant to him, and that he had come to look to her for guidance as much as she found herself needing his.

Not taking her eyes away from Danziger’s open expression, she spoke hesitantly.

“Julia, do you honestly believe this is the right thing to do?” At her question, John’s eyes fell shut, as though now that she was on the way to capitulating he could rest easy in her hands.

True grinned, also sensing Devon’s imminent approval. She knew that her father had sealed his fate, and that he was putting himself in danger, but she also could understand exactly why he wanted to go through with it. In all her nightmares and sweetest dreams since her Dad’s accident, she hadn’t ever once been able to imagine him without the ability to walk. As Wentworth always used to say when things didn’t work out: ‘It wasn’t in the cards.’ Now True realized that this phenomenon could work both ways. Not only did she have complete faith in Julia, but she was pretty damn proud of her Dad for being brave enough to insist, even when she could see his legs hurt real bad. Everything would be okay. Seeing her Dad in an ElectroGlide chair or some other contraption just wasn’t in the cards.

“Well, normally I wouldn’t recommend it, but the risks aren’t without equal benefits if we can pull it off. I think due to our precarious circumstances on this planet and Danziger’s advanced rate of recovery when he’s not shanking with the equipment,” She snuck the dig in seamlessly, a conscious effort on her part to draw a giggle out of True. “He’s got just about the best odds possible for something like this.” Just as she’d predicted, there was a glimmer of amusement behind John’s tolerant shake of the head. She had always suspected the way to True’s heart was profanity.

“You’ll see, Devon. My Dad’s strong enough to get through this, right Dad?” True asked encouragingly, and John smiled sheepishly.

“Sure thing, True-Girl.” He spoke with a touch more conviction than he actually felt, reaching up to stroke her free-flowing hair.

“While we were waiting for you we figured I can most likely have the vaccine synthesized by tomorrow evening, and if I do my recon surgery while it’s cooking John’s system might be cleaned up enough to attempt the injection by the next morning. He may be an idiot but he is right about one thing, our window of opportunity is almost gone.” True giggled again, fighting the urge to poke her father back, when he tickled her ribs for laughing in good fun.

“Never gonna live it down, am I, Doc?” John asked good-naturedly, thoroughly enjoying this rare view of Julia’s sassier side. She’d been at it for the last few hours, taking every opportunity to subtly remind him that despite her good humor, she was still more than a little angry at his lack of judgment. “Little traitor.” He added with a soft growl in True’s direction.

“Not in this lifetime, Danziger. After this week I’ll be very insulted if you don’t name your next child after me.” She teased.

“If I do that now, will you cut me a break?” Turning to True, he smiled a big gap-toothed grin. “Hey Julia, would you tell Julia here that there’s no way in hell your watchin’ this operation?” He asked his daughter coyly, and True, despite her disappointment, played along. She was just happy to see her father joking around.

“Awww, c’mon Dad! It was really cool checking out all your insides like that, and you know I want to be doctor when I grow up! We Julias make the best doctors!”

“No way. Nope. If I wake up and see you standing there with the DiaGlove on I’ll personally climb out of this bed and hunt your lovely namesake down. That’s an order, Junior.” Rolling her eyes, Julia just shook her head and went to her workstation to get started.

Devon had been watching the comedy stylings of the Med Tent Trio in a stunned sort of shock. When exactly had their doctor become so…adorable? It seemed that when she’d driven away from camp this morning she’d left her optimism behind, and Julia and True had stolen the loot.

All it took was another glance at Danziger, however, for her to recognize she hadn’t seen him in such good spirits in days, despite the pain he was feeling. He needed this hope, she realized. Whatever came next they could deal with together. She watched him pull True in for a careful kiss on the cheek.

“Hey Julia-Girl, why don’t you go outside for a bit and find Uly, okay?” At the sound of her name, the doctor turned, only to realize belatedly that two could play the ‘I’ve had just about enough of you’ game. Seeing that Danziger was talking his daughter, she shook her head again, deciding to step out for a breather before she got down to work. From the looks of things, John was headed for sleep, but the fact that he was shooing True made her suspicious he was fishing for some alone time with Devon.

“Come on, Julia.” She called the little girl, her voice heavy with sarcasm. “Let’s go find Uly and you two can help me organize my equipment. I’ll even let you play with the MicroMend. I think your Dad needs a nap.”

Reaching down to cup her father’s chin gently in her small hand, True leaned in until their noses were practically touching.

“Don’t do anything else stupid while I’m gone, Daddy, okay?” She asked, her tone laden with consternation.

“Promise. You be good, Baby.” He responded seriously, turning his head to watch her as she scampered off behind Julia. “Hey!” He called to his daughter, as an afterthought.

“Yeah?”

“Just because Julia’s started talking like a sailor doesn’t mean you get to go around cursing, too. Understood?”

From under Julia’s arm, half in and half out of the tent, True raised her hand in a salute.

“Aye, Aye, Captain!” She barked with a grin, before she was off like a shot with Julia not far behind.

Devon let out a slow chuckle, bringing John’s hand to her own lips in a tardy response to his earlier gesture.

“I’m not sure I want to know how you managed to win Julia and True over with this little scheme of yours. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Julia so animated.”

Danziger let out a throaty chuckle. “Well, you know…boyish charm and all.” He teased.

“Oh, is that it, you think?” She asked innocently, leaning in to smooth a hand across his brow. “You know, Danziger, I might have chosen a different tact earlier if I had known I was walking into an ambush and not a war zone. I honestly expected everyone to put of more off a fuss over this, especially True. I still can’t believe I’m supposed to sit here while you put yourself in danger again.” Devon found herself getting choked up at the mere thought of the agony the vaccine would trigger, at the thought of the torture of waiting for his system to clear. This prospect was somehow even more upsetting than pondering all the risks involved. “I know how much this means to you, and I know if anyone is strong enough to make it through this it’s you, but that doesn’t make it any less hard for me to take.”

“Hey, shhhh, now. Don’t go gettin’ all upset over this, okay?” He purred, tugging on her arm until she found herself lying gently on his chest, her face pressed against the steady pulse at his throat. Letting out a sigh, she allowed herself to relax into his warmth. “You gotta trust me, Devon.” He breathed, and a small laugh escaped her that sounded perilously close to a sob.

“I do trust you, John, that’s what scares me. If your wrong about this, then you’re wrong for both of us. And I hate being wrong, do you hear me?” She chided, pressing her lips against his neck in a feather light caress.

“Really?” He whispered back. “Funny, you bein’ wrong doesn’t bother me nearly as much.” Devon thought she would drown in the waves of John’s soft laughter, relishing the singularly erotic feeling of feeling them radiate through her own body, the sweet vibrations singing a song that made every cell in her body start to dance. She felt them give way to a shudder, heard the hiss on his intake of breath, but couldn’t seem to make herself move.

“Am I hurting you?” She asked, her own voice pitched in a near-whisper.

“Naah, You’re fine where you are.” As if to assure her of this fact, John’s hand came up to cradle the base of her skull, massaging gently. “What is it with all you people always thinking I’m gonna break?” He asked lightly, but the attempt at levity fell flat, lost to the sudden energy humming through the tent.

“It’s just hard for us to see you in so much pain, John. We’re all scared of making it worse. It’s horrible watching someone you love suffering.” The words were out of her mouth before she was even aware she had uttered them. She had intended to speak for the group, but her tender declaration hit the atmosphere with the thrill of an intimate confession.

She felt John’s soft intake of breath, felt his hand pause against her neck, and instead of the awkward fear and embarrassment she knew she should be feeling, there was an intrinsic rightness in her admission that left her with nothing but an intense feeling of freedom. The truth was out.

“Devon…” He whispered, her name echoing like a prayer in the silence of the tent. With tremendous care, Danziger gently guided her mouth up to his with the delicious pressure of his strong hand tangled in her hair.

Everything about John was electrifying, the tentative brush of his slightly open lips against her mouth, the nuzzle of the tip of his nose as it traced a path along side her own. She heard him utter a slight gasp, as though in the wonder of the moment he’d forgotten that it was he himself who had initiated the kiss. But when his lips found hers for a second time, Devon lost the clarity to savor the minute details, and found herself adrift in the feel of him, the taste of him, and the elemental strength he’d conjured up from the recesses of his battered soul. Her first kiss from John Danziger was exactly what she’d always imagined it would be.

“Huh. Didn’t think it would happen this way.” He whispered, his hot breath against her cheek a few moments later, and Devon had to chuckle. The yin to her yang in every respect, leave it to Danziger to observe the same event from the polar opposite point of view.

Planting a wet kiss on his forehead, Devon snuggled against him as much as she could without causing him further discomfort.

“What were you expecting, Danziger, fireworks?” She asked teasingly, unconsciously stroking her hand along his thick ribcage.

“Always thought I’d be able to hear the ocean.” He confessed softly, and Devon was touched both by the romanticism of his profession and the consideration he’d paid to her journey, which had somewhere along the miles become their journey.

“Also thought I would have had the chance to buzz my teeth.” He added with a quick grin, and she squeezed him as though he could absorb the enormity of her emotions through osmosis. “Okay, ow!” He exclaimed with a grunt, and she instantly leapt from his embrace, biting her lip to keep from laughing at his buffoonish expression laced with genuine pain.

“Sorry, I got carried away.” She apologized in her best ‘poor baby’ tone. Straightening his blankets carefully, she ran a hand through her mussed hair, putting a damper on the tinge of awkwardness threatening to invade.

“I’m tellin’ ya, it’s the boyish charm.” He mumbled, lacing his fingers through hers. Devon gave his knuckles a quick peck before extricating herself carefully. It was the first time she’d ever seen John Danziger pout.

“Okay, Alonzo,” Her use of the flyboy’s name was not lost on Danziger, who snickered. “I’d better let you get some rest, since you’re intent on putting yourself in peril first thing in the morning.” She stood a bit shakily, touching the crown of his head for a moment before making her way to the exit.

Shaking his head, eyes already shut, Danziger sighed. “Oh, ye of little faith.”

“Oh, I’ve got plenty of faith in you, John. Faith is the easy part. I’m just hoping for a miracle.” She disclosed softly. Cracking open one heavy eyelid, Danziger turned his head towards her with a smirk.

“Geez, Adair! That wasn’t enough of a miracle for you?” Blushing a bit at his jibe, Devon found herself uncharacteristically at a complete loss for words. Danziger settled in for sleep, a lazy grin plastered across his wan face. “Women!”

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