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DEVON, ALONE Part V
The Dream, the Dark, and the Light (7/11)
by Nicole Mayer


"Devon, have you seen Bess?" Morgan asked worriedly. "I can't find her, and I've looked everywhere!" The man ran his hands through his hair, which was loose and flowing in the growing wind.

Devon shook her head. "I haven't seen her in a while," she told Morgan, realising that it was quite more than a while since she and Bess had spoken. Was it possible that Devon subconsciously still wanted Bess out of her life, even now?

"Have you tried the ship?" asked Devon, gesturing behind her. Not many had ventured into the downed spaceship since Devon awoke, except for Alonzo who was interested in the old parts. He'd been toying with the idea of getting it off the ground again. It would certainly make the trip to New Pacifica a lot easier.

"I'm telling you, Devon, I've looked everywhere! She left her gear in our tent, it's like she just vanished off the face of the planet!"

Devon's next thought was of the Terrians. Had they come again, and taken Bess somewhere? But try as she might, there was no logical reason for the Terrians to have done that.

If Bess was lost, or hurt somewhere...how could they go on without Bess? They needed her!

Devon closed her eyes, imagining where Bess might go. She could almost see Bess in her mind, out on the plains, just out of communication range, so excited because she'd found a huge patch of an edible plant which would replenish their dwindling supplies. In fact, she was coming back right now to tell them all-

"Hey, everybody!"
Devon and Morgan jumped.
"Look what I found!" shouted Bess, racing into the camp with arms full of leaves. Devon gasped, for Bess was carrying the exact plant Devon had just envisioned.

"Bess! Where have you been!" Morgan called, abandoning Devon without a second thought. "I was so worried about you."

"Only out scouting," she replied in a friendly voice. Devon stared at the couple, stunned. How could she...it wasn't possible...what was happening to her, anyway? Somehow, Devon was connected to things she had never been close to before. It scared her.

***

Lightning flashed across the sky in a brilliant fork of goldwhite colour. Moments later, the companion thunder boomed across the grassy plains buffeted by fierce winds. It was a summer storm.

Eden Advance was on the move again, finally, after so long camped near Bennett's ship. Life was beginning to return to normal as the days lengthened and the sun remained longer in the sky every evening. Except on days like this, which heralded the beginning of summer, and the obvious wet season. Storms.

They were so beautiful, yet so deadly. And out in the middle of nowhere, there was no shelter for the members of Eden Advance. The vehicles were potential lightning rods, as were the colonists themselves and everything they carried with them. There was never a good mountain range close by when they needed one.

Devon sat in the passenger seat of the ATV. Danziger was on her left. Although they had not really talked since that one night, the barriers were beginning to break down. Devon had made it obvious that she was ready to spend time with him again and not run the other way.

They hadn't progressed much beyond small talk, and it achingly reminded Devon of her station-dream, when she had relentlessly pursued John Danziger but not had any reasonable explanation to give him. Yet things were also vastly different. There was no way to hide from one another here, and no interferences to keep them apart.

"I don't like the look of this storm," stated Danziger, as another violent streak tore the sky in half. Devon gasped.

"Did you see that?" she asked nervously. "The lightning?"
"No, *behind* the lightning," Devon began, not entirely sure *what* she had seen. "It was like a dark patch, something missing from the sky as if it were gone somewhere..." As Devon realised how utterly ludicrous her words sounded, she hastily amended, "It must have been the brightness affecting my eyes. The storm's getting awfully close."

"I think we should stop," said Danziger. "I agree." Devon was making a conscious effort to allow Danziger to fully share the role of leadership so that things could be more equal between them.

The vehicle rolled to a stop, and the pair quickly jumped down. They felt so terrible exposed here on the plains, as did every member of Eden Advance. "Do we do the vehicle trick again?" Danziger asked wryly. There was really no other alternative, so Devon responded, "Yes."

"Okay, everyone, you know the drill by now!" called Danziger to the gathering group. Some groaned, but others, like Morgan, were relieved and hurried to grab the waterproof sheeting from the transrover. It was quickly placed beneath the larger vehicles, and one by one, each person scrambled under a vehicle and lay flat.

From this perspective, they could watch the storm yet remain dry as long as the wind didn't blow too fiercely. Although with the intensity of this wind already, Devon didn't hold out too much hope of avoiding the rain when it finally came.

She lifted her head on her elbows and did a quick head count. Uly was beside her, and many were crammed into this tiny space beneath the transrover. They were ever so careful not to touch any part of the vehicle itself, for if lightning *did* strike, they wanted it to carefully pass away into the ground.

She looked to the left and found Danziger next to her. He grinned wryly. "Stuck here again." Devon smiled in response. Even with the most terrifying vestiges of nature raging around them, there was still something comforting about being so close to everyone. They were huddled together against the storm, and in these strange hours, everyone was a family.

"It's kind of nice," Devon murmured, as much to herself as to Danziger.

"The storm?" he queried. "Yeah, I guess it is beautiful." The clouds were so dark they were almost purple, but that wasn't what Devon had in mind.

"I was talking about us, and being together. All of us," she quickly added as she realised what her words insinuated. "Losing Eben, my experience - it just made everyone closer. I don't know what I'd do if I lost anyone now."

Danziger gently reached out to touch her hand. "You'd survive, Adair. I know you. You're a survivor, you never let anything get you down. No matter how bad the odds, or how desperate the situation is, you can always put a smile on your face," he declared.

Devon's eyes grew sad and she looked at the ground. A light rain had begun to fall and the tiny rivulets were making their way underneath the groundsheet. "You don't know that," she said sorrowfully.

"Devon, what is it?" His voice was hushed, his head next to hers, and it was as if they were in their own private world as the noise of the wind and rain intensified. No one but Devon could hear his words.

"I failed, John. I gave up. I tried to kill myself." "Devon, what are you talking about?" countered Danziger, but his words contained a tone of compassion. "Did this happen years ago? Because if it did, it doesn't matter. You've changed, you're the strongest person I've ever known."

"No, John, I'm not," she replied, her heart beating wildly at the prospect of *finally* telling him the truth. "When I was in cold sleep, I had, well, I guess you could call it a dream, but it was real to me. I can remember it perfectly."

Danziger took her hand firmly in his, and she didn't resist even though a twinge of nervousness shot through her body. He waited patiently for her to go on.

"You were in that nightmare, John. Only it was another you, but he was so much the same that I didn't let myself think of the differences. You were all I could hold on to.

"I guess I went a little crazy," Devon continued, pacing each word slowly and deliberately as she told her story. "I was on the stations, and it was a nightmarish world. Everyone had abandoned me, Uly was dead, Yale wouldn't even speak to me, Morgan was, well, how he used to be..."

Danziger desperately tried to suppress a grin at that one, but failed. But Devon was too sad to catch his mirth.

"The worst thing to me, though, was that you were married. To Bess. And no matter how much I tried, I couldn't stay away from you. I was intent on destroying your relationship, I thought that I could control the universe and everything should happen the way I wanted it to. And then there was that awful night..."

His thoughts whirling, Danziger almost missed the ominous note in Devon's last words. Him...and Bess? Now that was a new idea. But Devon was who he cared about, and he had to hear the rest of her story. "What happened, Devon?"

"You pushed me away, told me to leave you alone. And I couldn't take it. I didn't want to live anymore. So I walked out of my rooms, out of my life, with only one thing on my mind. I headed for the airlock. I was going to throw myself into space."

There. It was out. Devon had finally told someone of her failure, and was listening for the condemning words she knew were coming.

But Danziger surprised her. "Did you?" he asked. "Did I what?"
"Did you throw yourself out of an airlock?" Devon's face clouded over. "I can't remember," she admitted. "I don't remember anything after that except waking up here."

"Then you didn't fail," said Danziger with conviction. "You couldn't do it. Devon Adair never gives up." He gave her a supportive smile. "Dev, it was a *dream*. It doesn't matter."

She heard his words and lifted her head. As a gust of wind blew freezing rain all over them, she barely felt it. It was as if Danziger was forgiving her for her crazy actions, and it meant so much to her. Even if she was a Replica, she could still be redeemed and loved. Lightning flashed, and it was an eerie sign of hope.

Danziger saw that he was getting through to her, and felt a happiness creeping over his soul. Finally, if the darkness that had consumed her was gone, they could have another chance. "You're here now, as real and alive as anyone," he said.

A shadow crossed Devon's face. She abruptly pulled her hand away. "You don't know anything," she said sorrowfully.

Almost giving an exasperated groan, Danziger said, "What, Devon? I'm listening, I'm giving you a chance, I want to help you!"

"Damn it, don't you get it yet? I'm not even real!" she shouted. "Devon Adair died two and a half years ago! I'm a clone!"

The momentary revulsion on Danziger's face was all she needed to see. Devon scrambled onto her knees, and crawled out from under the transrover. She faced the others and shouted, "You may as well all know. I'm a Replica!" Tears mingled with the rainwater pouring down her face and she lifted her face to the sky.

This was it. Now everyone knew, and now she could never be a part of them again.

"I don't even belong here!" Her arms upraised, Devon screamed into the storm. "They *killed* me! They *stole* my memories! They were *using* me all along!"

She faced the clouds, the demonic power of nature stealing away her words. "I WAS ALONE!!!"

Then lightning struck. The streak of light malevolently leapt down from the clouds to encompass the entire body of Devon Adair, stealing her lifeforce and breaking through her cries. Time seemed to freeze, forever onto John Danziger's heart as he saw her pale, anguished face encircled by the light. *Alone...*

"MOM!" screamed Uly as she stood suspended in the light. "No!" shouted Julia as she realised what was happening. "Devon!" screamed Danziger as he raced from beneath the 'Rover.

"John..." whispered Devon as she crumpled to the ground.

And she was alone.



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