Devon Alone V: The Dream, The Dark and The Light by Nicole Mayer

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DEVON, ALONE Part V
The Dream, the Dark, and the Light (9/11)
by Nicole Mayer

That evening, Eden Advance camped at the edge of the plateau. "It's like being able to see into forever," Bess had said, and everyone agreed with her. The moons rose high from the horizon, and it was an eerie feeling seeing the orbs coming from beneath them rather than peeking above land at an equal height.

Truly, this was a magical place.
Morgan wanted to name it, as he did any remotely significant place the group encountered on their seemingly endless journey. Yet he wasn't trying to name it after himself. Everyone knew there was something innately special about this place. It was a place where dreams were to begin, or to end.

"We should name it after Eden Advance," suggested Morgan, pleased to hear the chorus of assent. "Years in the future, when people travel past, there should be something here to remind them of us. Of the struggle we went through to get here."

"New Pacifica is still a very long distance away," Yale cautioned.

"Yes, I know, but look at what we've accomplished so far!" Morgan said vehemently. "I've never felt so much of a -teambefore. I know that when we got here, I wasn't much help..."

"That's an understatement if I ever heard one," grunted Danziger, and there were low chuckles from everyone in hearing distance. Even Morgan himself smiled.

"I know, I guess I was a pain in the-" "Morgan!" broke in Bess, pointing to the children. He swallowed to recompose his thoughts.

"What I'm trying to say is that this planet has changed me. We've all learnt so much about each other here." He looked at Devon, and she felt the need to say something.

"I want to thank you all for accepting me back," she said simply. "More than that, your continued trust in me as a leader has been wonderful."

"We wouldn't have it any other way, Devon," said Baines, smiling at her. "Even if your history is sorta, well, confusing."

"The same is true for all of us," said Julia. "Devon isn't the only one with a hidden past." She paused, allowing everyone to reflect on Julia's actions when she was working for the Council. "This group, us, we've accomplished so much. Even if we never get to New Pacifica, I know that we've achieved something."

Alonzo was nodding vigorously. "So what kind of name do you have in mind, Morgan?"

"Well actually, I'm still working on that..." A chorus of laughter broke out, and then gradually, the group began to break up. The name would come to them in time.

Devon found herself walking beside Yale as she contemplated Morgan's change. And her own change. What Julia had said was so true, their extreme circumstances had brought them together like nothing else in the universe. There were only a few remaining problems.

Like her relationship with Yale. Devon stopped, and said his name. Yale gave her the oddest look, and she couldn't help but feel as if she were being examined under a microscope.

She opened her mouth to speak, but Yale beat her to it. "I want to apologise," he said gravely. "I have been avoiding you since your revelation, and that was wrong of me. I did not think of your feelings because I was concentrating on my own."

"It's okay, Yale," Devon reassured him. "I need to apologise as well, for trying to cut you out of my life."

Yale nodded, but said, "That doesn't matter, Devon. What I want you to understand is that...I should have noticed when *you* came into my life, and Uly's. It was my duty to look after you, and I failed. I did not know that the original Devon Adair had died."

"You couldn't have known," Devon said softly. "Even I didn't know. That's how good a match they were able to make." She still felt extremely strange talking about herself in the third person. Devon supposed she would gradually get used to it, especially as she felt that she belonged on G889. For the third time, Devon realised that she was connected to the planet.

"Nonetheless, I am sorry. I hope that you can forgive me." "Of course I can, Yale," promised Devon, and she hugged him. "We're alike in some ways. Your mind, your body - the Council did things to you as well. But you survived, and so did I." She smiled at him, and felt the age-old connection from this man who may as well have been her father.

"Yes, we did. Goodnight, Devon," Yale said, giving her one last squeeze. Then they parted ways, and Devon had the strangest feeling as she watched his retreating back. There was something about this night...

When she turned, she saw Alonzo and Julia behind her, headed for the water tank. Devon jogged to catch them, and the three walked in companionable silence. There was something so normal about the nightly ritual, a drink, and a talk, before bed, but they hadn't done this for a very long time.

Alonzo handed Devon a mug. "How are you?" she asked. "What? Oh, the heatstroke or whatever," Alonzo replied. "Julia took a look at me, said there wasn't anything wrong. I don't even have a headache so it mustn't have been bad."

"That's good," acknowledged Devon. She filled her mug with water and watched both Julia and Alonzo do the same. "Isn't this the most incredible place you've ever seen?"

"Yeah, you did great, Devon," said Alonzo sincerely, referring not only to their journey across the continent but also to her personal struggle. He touched her on the arm and said, "I'm glad you brought us here." Looking at Julia, he added, "This place is like magic."

A chittering behind one of the nearby vehicles startled the three. "Kobas?" suggested Julia, turning and straining to see through the shadows.

"Probably. I'll go check it out 'cause I don't want any more creatures stealing our supplies," Alonzo declared. "I'll see you later," he whispered to Julia, and Devon smiled at the obvious love between the pair.

As Alonzo disappeared into the darkness, Devon sighed. "You've found a perfect match in Alonzo," she told Julia. The doctor smiled shyly, aware of Devon's own longing. "I know."

"It was funny, at the start," continued Devon. "Watching him flirt with you, and watching you try to get away from him! I never thought Alonzo would fall in love."

"I never thought I would, either," Julia revealed. "And what about you, Devon?"

"Me?"
"You don't have to pretend," she said. "I've come a long way to be able to call you a friend and so have you."

Devon stared at Julia, remembering her resolution to tell her friend just how much she meant to Devon. "You're right. Julia, I don't know what I'd do without you. I need to say thank you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for helping me to trust people with my heart."

Julia smiled warmly, every trace of the once-cold doctor forever extinguished from her eyes. "Devon-" But instead of speaking, they embraced as true friends. And another small part of Devon's life fell into place.

She stared at the stars and smiled. "Everything's almost perfect," Devon whispered. A shooting star blazed past, reminding her of midnight conversations with John. The final problem in this magical place.

"Go talk to him," said Julia suddenly. "He loves you. And you love him, don't you." It was more of a statement than a question, and it was perfectly true.

"I do," Devon admitted.
"Then tell him." Devon stared at Julia, and suddenly decided to do exactly that. It was a night of resolutions, of everything reaching perfect completion. And during this night of strange magic, she would tell John how she felt.

"Thank you," she told Julia one last time. Then she walked away, turning back for one instant. Julia was framed in a moonbeam of light, smiling serenely, and Devon knew that she would never forget that moment. Whatever the future brought.

"Mom!" called Uly, racing up to her. "True says she put a koba in my bed and that it'll shoot me so I won't wake up for a week and when I do wake up you'll all be gone and I'll be left behind!"

Devon laughed. Would the two children ever stop fighting and get along? Then again, they were behaving more and more like brother and sister every day. "Ulysses, listen to me. True didn't really put a koba in your bed, I'm sure she's just trying to scare you."

"No she's not," Uly said vehemently. "She had one in her backpack again, and she said that it will do anything for her!"

Shaking her head, Devon realised that this was the perfect opportunity to call Danziger over. "John!" she shouted, for she could see him sitting by the fire. "Could you come here for a moment?"

He stood up and strode across the clearing. Devon felt a rush of love for this man, who was such a significant presence in her life. On his way over, Devon explained the situation. "Do you want to talk this out with True?"

Devon was trying hard *not* to tell him how to raise his daughter, and she could see that Danziger appreciated that fact. Nonetheless, neither could allow the girl to terrorise Uly.

"Okay, I'll talk to her," promised Danziger. "How about right now?"
Danziger nodded, then asked, "Where is she?" He looked around the campsite blankly.

"Right over there," said Uly, pointing. A small smirk appeared on his face, True was gonna get it now!

"Where?" quizzed Danziger again, spinning and looking straight past his daughter. "True?"

"She's right there!" The girl reluctantly slipped out from the shadows and approached the small group. A flicker of confusion crossed Danziger's face which he quickly hid.

"Were you trying to scare Uly again?" True ducked her head. "It was only a joke," she muttered, scuffing the ground with her foot. "I wouldn't *really* put a koba in his bed."

"I think you owe him an apology," said Danziger gruffly. The girl sighed heavily, and uttered a quick, "Sorry."

"You can do better than that."
True finally looked up, traces of insolence in her eyes. Her voice was stiff as she said, "I'm sorry, Ulysses."

"That's better now." Devon was nodding in agreement. "Now do you think you can go to bed?" she asked her son. Uly was still frowning. He pulled Devon's head down and whispered, "Can you still check my bed for me?"

"Okay," she promised, then straightened and mouthed a silent thanks to Danziger. Aloud, she said, "I need to talk to you."

"Me too," he agreed. "By the fire in ten minutes?" Devon nodded, holding his gaze for a little longer than necessary. Then Uly tugged on her arm, so she reluctantly turned towards their tent to put her son to bed.

Pulling back the light cover to prove without a doubt that nothing was lurking in or around the small cot, Devon was gratified to see the relief in Uly's eyes. He crawled into bed, and Devon tucked him in.

"Thank you, Mom," he murmured, his voice tiny and so childlike.

"Now you have good dreams tonight, Ulysses. And when you wake up in the morning, we're going to go down a mountain."

"Should be real fun," he said sleepily, already dreaming of the new morning. He would beat True to the bottom, he would!

"I love you, Ulysses," whispered Devon, leaning down to kiss him on the cheek.

He reached up his arms to give her one last hug, and told her, "I love you too."

"See you in the morning, honey." Devon left the tent, smiling about her son. She noted Danziger already waiting by the fire and her heartbeat quickened a little. Glancing around, Devon noted that the campsite was empty as the other colonists had already retired to bed. Everything was perfect.

"Hi," Devon said softly as she reached Danziger's side. "Hi," he replied just as softly. Feeling bold, Devon took his hand. "John-" "Devon-" he said at exactly the same moment, "we need to talk."

"No," Devon replied, determined to have no more interruptions. No storms, no secrets, and no other people to distract them. She was facing Danziger now and they were finally so close.

"No more talking. No more words." She could see the firelight dancing behind him, and the starglow reflected in his eyes. Ever so slowly, Devon reached up one hand to softly caress his cheek. Blood was pounding through her veins as she realised that this was it, this was *the* moment. His eyes locked with hers, and she was drawn closer and closer to him until...

He pulled away. "Devon, wait. There's something I have to tell you first."

"What?" she almost snapped, red colouring her cheeks. "I heard you that day when I almost died, you said that you loved me. Now I'm telling you, John, that I love you. What more is there to say?"

She wrapped her arms around his neck, horribly aware that Danziger's arms were still hanging by his *own* sides.

"No wait, Devon, you don't understand..." "What could I possibly not understand?" she burst out in frustration. "I've been to hell and back, I know all there is to know about pushing feelings aside. And I'm not going to take it anymore!" She felt Danziger pulling away from her embrace, and a terrible fear seized her heart. "Kiss me, dammit!"

"I can't," he said simply. Devon stared straight at him. No, this wasn't possible. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. It was supposed to be the perfect night, where all of her dreams came true.

And they *would* come true. They had to! Slowly, Devon opened her mouth. She felt the beginning of an instruction in the back of her throat, and all the while part of her was screaming *no, no, don't do this, you don't want to do this, it will destroy everything no don't no don't no don't* but she couldn't stop the words from coming.

"Activate..."
*don't do this Devon, if you do then the dream will be over and you will 'know'*

"...program voice command..."
*no Devon no Devon no Devon*
"...modify character John Danziger..."

And she gasped in horror at what she had done. She gasped in horror at comprehension of the truth. She gasped in horror at the look of sadness in John Danziger's eyes. And she gasped in horror as the *real* memories flooded back.

She was still in the Program.

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