Final Fights by pal fow

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Final Fights (4/12)
by palfow

Miles away, in another dimension... is it really another dimension or is it just ... the dreamplane

She was there, standing alone, looking over the planet. The planet she had chosen to be humanity's last refuge. The planet that healed her son and made her ill. The planet that wouldn't allow them to live here, to make sure the human race wouldn't vanish. The planet that was more than a simple planet. A being would be more accurate to call it. A being with feelings, with organs, with veins and arteries, with transporting systems and water-tanks. She seemed small, standing there on the edge of this mountain, surrounded by what nature had done over millions of years.

He let some minutes pass, considered again and again what he would tell her, whether he should deny his feelings or confirm them. He had thought that he needed to tell her, but now he wasn't that sure. He loved her, enjoyed their discussions, needed her provoking words and her optimism.
He watched her going back to a tent. Nobody else was around which didn't surprise him. Well, he could make out a small point somewhere behind him and that had to be Mary. Devon went to a table and looked at something. He slowly approached her.

"Hey Adair !!"

She turned around, nodding to him. "Hi Danziger."

*Whoa, she looks so good, so beautiful* He could hardly hold back to tell her this. He didn't want to blurt it out just like that.

"Hey Danziger, what'd you say, going round this forest from the right or from the left?"

He looked at the map, saw the red point that represented their current position. What divided them from New Pacifica was just that small forest, a small river and then just plain land... So close to New Pacifica.... But the knowledge that it was just a dream made him sad.

"I'd take the right side, then go over the river here" he pointed to a place where the river widened. "The river widens here, that means the same amount of water floating through a larger place...". He waited for what would, no, had to come.

"Well, I still think going left would be better. It's shorter. John grinned. That was Devon... He said nothing, just nodded his head in agreement, feeling happy to be near Devon, even though this was just a dream.

The way John reacted irritated Devon. Normally he would get angry, telling her that she was doing it again, asking him and then ignoring what he said. Well this time she had done it willingly, wanting to provoke a discussion. She had enjoyed the discussions with him for a long time now and was always looking forward to the next. So, why didn't he argue this time? Was something wrong? A joke or something else? She looked around and then it came to her that something actually was wrong. She saw none of the others. No other tent. Just her, John, one tent, this table and the map. Nothing else.

"John, what's up here. What's going on? Where are the others?" she looked kinda scared and it reminded him of his terrible dream. He didn't want to her to feel scared. He wanted her to be happy, to enjoy life, well, at least the short time they had here. Everything else was going to come later and hopefully not too much later...

He looked into her eyes, holding her shoulders. "You can't remember?"

"Remember what, John?" she looked troubled, trying to think of what she'd done before he came here, trying to figure out what happened the last few days. And then it hit her. She knew nothing at all. She didn't know how they got that close to New Pacifica, she didn't know where the others were. And that made her angry. Not scared, no, hell, it made her really angry. What was all that about? Then she tried to remember what she could remember.... and that scared her. Scared her to death. Death, yeah, probably right. This had to be heaven. Or hell. Or whatever.

She looked at John, trying to find the answer in his eyes. When she didn't find it she began speaking instead. "The last thing I can remember at all is.." her face was getting more and more worried with every second. "The last couple of things I can remember are worried faces, Elizabeth's death and then Uly... He put his stick to a door. And I was... My God, I was behind that door..."

Fear was on her face and that hurt John. He took her into his arms, stroking her hair. "It's okay, don't be afraid. This is just the dreamplain. We're only dreaming..."

"Dreaming??? Only dreaming???" relieved she let out a deep breath. Dreaming, ha, and she had already thought of her own funeral. So it wasn't all too late. She wasn't dead yet. But close to death. Too close as she felt.

"Yes." he wondered what thought must have crossed her mind to frighten her so much like she had looked. And then Devon realized what all that meant, could mean, seemed to mean...

*Dreaming. I'm ill. They put me in cold-sleep. When? Why? Can't Julia help? How's Uly? Is he okay? And the others? Are they ill? Oh no, John !!!*

"John, why are you here? You're not ill, too, are you?" Although she didn't want to show it, concern was written in her face.

"No, I've come here to... in order to...huh... talk about some things with you..." he paused, partly embarrassed, partly unable to speak, partly just too unsure if he should take the risk and confess his feelings..

"How are the kids and Julia and Alonzo, Bess and Morgan and all the others?" Devon had noticed Danziger's sudden break and wasn't sure what that meant. To clear her mind and decide what she should do now and to overplay her own embarrassment she just asked some question not regarding her feelings.

"They are fine, but we all miss you, Devon. Come, we can go to a nicer place where we can talk..." he had to tell her, that was why he came here in the first place. He knew True'd kill him if he didn't do it. Maybe not kill but give one of her speeches which meant about the same. Once warmed up she was hard to stop.

Devon nodded in agreement and seconds later the two stood next to the Sea of Antius, letting the soft wind blow through their hair, letting the sun shine on their faces and letting the smell of the sea fill their noses.

"Whoa, John, it's so beautiful here.." she walked around, watching over the ocean. He looked at her and wished so desperately this moment was reality and not just a dream. He had to remind himself that it was only a dream and that he had come here for something. Yeah he would just tell her. And as Yale had told him in a silent minute before coming her, Devon felt the same he. And he knew Yale was right.

He sat down, waiting for Devon's excitement to slow down. She needed some time until she realized he was just sitting there, watching her. She sat down next to him. For quite a long time neither said a word. They both just listened to the sea, which rolled in soft waves constantly towards them, and they listened to the funny-looking birds which made really strange sounds.

*If he just turned around his head. Oh, his hair, the curls. And his hands, if they just touched mine...*

Both enjoyed this moment, being so close together. But for Devon something was clear the moment John turned around to her, his eyes looking directly into hers. She knew she had to deny her feelings, had to deny them because John had to get the group to the real Sea of Antius. She felt like he wouldn't do such a good job if he knew she felt the same for him while having to live without her, having to cross this planet without her. She knew that she wouldn't do that if it was John who were ill. She couldn't let him back there alone and thus she had to lie to him. Had to tell him she didn't love him. But she did love him and that made it difficult...

"Devon, I came here to tell you that we all miss you and that we want to have you back. Julia will find a cure but it might take some time. We've decided to stay with you as long as she needs..."

"Oh, no, John Danziger, you lead this group to New Pacifica! This is more important now than I am. You have to be finished with the hospital when the Colony ship arrives, you understand?" she knew it. Knew that he wouldn't go away. And he was stubborn enough to stay even when she told him to go.

"This is what I mean. Nobody feels like going on. Especially not me. I don't want to walk across this planet without you Adair." He had been sure that she wouldn't like the idea at all, and she was so stubborn. Yeah, just as she wouldn't leave a member of the group back. They had done that once and quickly found out they did wrong. Of course, this was something else but still it was the same. Somehow.

"John, you have to. Please don't stay here just for me. I wish,... no I command that you get to New Pacifica and then, when everything is finished you can come back and get me, but no sooner." She had to convince him, had to make sure he went on.

"But I couldn't do that without you." he stood up. Angry, desperate, stubborn himself, as he suddenly recognized. But what else could he do? Go on as if nothing happened, as if, now for the second time in his life, the woman he loved had been torn away from him??? Yeah, sounded really easy. He began walking up and down the shore in front of Devon.

"But you have to. No matter what you feel for me. John, this is really important to me. New Pacifica is what we've come here for. You must never forget that." Perhaps if she told him she wanted it and it was so important to her, but not only to her, he would understand. It was important to the 1000 people coming closer to New Pacifica every second, to the kids those who needed a home, not to be always being on the road, and important to the others, who would have to build a town once they arrived there. She knew they needed time for that and if it took them too long they would have to do everything faster and that could be very exhausting. It was time they finally reached New Pacifica.

He thought for a moment. Why didn't she ask him why especially he couldn't go on without her? Perhaps he had to make his point clearer. "But Devon, how could I struggle across this planet without you? What would I tell Uly?"

"Tell him that I love him and that he's never alone. He has you and all the others until I can be back..." she didn't want to talk about him now. She wasn't ready to do that now. But he was and he needed some answers.

"And me Devon, what about me?"

"Danziger, regardless to what you might feel for me, you have to do it. And perhaps it is..." that was the joke. What he felt for her. Hadn't she realized yet? Was she so blind?

"What I feel for you? Devon, I... I love you..." he stopped his walking and looked at her, waited for her reaction, hoped that Yale was right.

*Damn it. Why now? Now that we can't be together, why does he come up with that now?*

*So, it's out. Finally. Took you much too long John Danziger.*

*I love him, too, but I can't tell him. Not now. Maybe later...*

*She doesn't respond. Damn it, Adair say something...*

*Oh John, how much I hate it to hurt you, to play with your feelings, but that's probably the best.*

*Okay, Dev, tell me now, whatever it is, but talk !!!*

"John." She paused. The silence lay like a heavy, dark cloud over them. "John, you know, that I like you very, very much, but it isn't the right moment. Maybe not even the right place. And maybe it just wouldn't work between us. We are so different, it wouldn't last, I'm sure. I hate to tell you this but I hope you can understand why I have to do this." Now she was on her feet, too.

"What are you telling me there, Devon? That you like me but don't love me? And I should believe you? Oh no, I'm not stupid. ...What is it you fear?" He couldn't believe that. Yale couldn't be wrong. All the others couldn't be wrong. His sixth sense could not fool him.

"I fear nothing." she lied. She feared much but she was not about to tell him.

*Yeah, and the sun circles round G889...*

*This is so hard. I wished I could tell him, that I loved him, that I depended on him, that I longed for him... but I can't.*

"You're afraid of something, Adair, I can feel it, don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying and I am not afraid of anything, I just don't feel the same for you. I'm really sorry." She hoped it sounded as if it was the truth, but somehow it felt like her voice was not hers. It didn't sound like her.

*Devon, you are **so** stupid, what if you ever got out of here, what'd you tell him then? That you were just joking? Having had a good time?*

He didn't believe her, didn't want to believe what he had just heard. So he started a last try. Perhaps it would work. And when not... well then he would decide something else.

"Then it's the best I go now. True's waiting for me to help her repair something."

"How is she? John, please, don't be angry with me..."

"She's okay. And why should I be angry? Listen Adair, I
really gotta go now. New Pacifica is waiting. That is what you wanted, isn't it?"

What would she do now??? "Be careful. And don't forget me here. John,... I'm truly sorry." She was. Oh, how she was sorry. Perhaps she should just tell him after all. For an instant she really thought about that, but it would be of no use. She'd tell him later, if ever there was gonna be a later.

"Yeah, I know. I'll greet the others and tell them you're fine. Bye Devon."

He kissed her on her cheek and then went away, leaving her on this long, white shore. She didn't call after him to stay.

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