Context by Deborah Walsh

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Context (5/20)
by Deb Walsh

"Morgan, honey, what's wrong?" Bess whispered, rubbing Morgan's back to try to calm him down.

"Uhgn," he moaned in response, punching his pillow and pressing his face against it.

"Morgan, talk to me," Bess pressed, her voice rising slightly in volume and assertiveness. She tugged at Morgan's shoulders to turn him over to face her.

"I don't want to dream," Morgan told her, his voice trembling close to the brink of sobbing with frustration.

"Everybody dreams, Morgan. Even Alonzo, he just doesn't remember them. Dreams can't hurt you -"

"On this planet they can, Bess!" He rolled over then, pulling the sheets up to his neck and staring morosely into the darkness. "On this planet, dreams can reach right in and take your soul. I don't want to dream with the Terrians, Bess. I just don't want to."

"What are you afraid of, Morgan? The Terrians haven't hurt Alonzo, or Uly, and they've been dreaming with them for months."

"But look what they did to Danziger. Danziger! The man's made of stone and poison, and they reduced him to quivering jelly. Look at me, Bess - I'm already quivering jelly. What'll they do to _me_?"

She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close.

"They won't do anything to you, Morgan. You're so sensitive - you're so in touch with your feelings.

That's what's wrong with John - he bottles everything up inside, and when he has to face those feelings ... he just doesn't know how to. He'll be okay in the morning, you'll see. But," she added thoughtfully, "I wouldn't mention anything about it to him if I were you."

"Why?" Morgan asked, his interest piqued.

"He'd probably deck anyone who did. John doesn't like to show his weaknesses. Especially now, with Devon sick. He's under a lot of strain, Morgan."

"You said that before," Morgan observed, a hint of suspicion creeping into his voice. "Is there something I should know about?"

"About what?"

"About you and Danziger - you seem to know a lot about what 'strain' he's under -"

"Morgan Martin!" she chastised. "You know I chose to marry you for life! I just happen to observe our companions a little closer than you do. John's carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders - keeping us together, getting us to New Pacifica, he's planning to set up that colony, Devon or no Devon. Not to mention looking after True, and now Uly. And he misses Devon, Morgan - you know there's more there than either of them would admit. Morgan, honey, we've got to do what we can to support him. Promise me you will."

"I promise, Bess," he answered doubtfully. "But what can I do?"

"Do what you do best - you'll find a way," she suggested brightly, kissing him on the tip of his nose.

"Mmm, if you say so," he murmured, turning his face to brush her lips with his.

She smiled at him, twining her arms around his neck.

"Mmmm."

***

"What d'you think's up with Danziger?" Magus asked into the darkness.

"I dunno, but I sure as hell don't want no Terrians messing with _my_ dreams," Baines replied acidly.

"May be you won't have any choice, not from what Alonzo was sayin'," Walman suggested.

"What's he know, anyway?" Baines demanded. "He's their pet, isn't he? Flyboy makes me nervous sometimes, the way he goes on about the Terrians. He was a great pilot, but now he's grounded - who knows what that's done to his head?" He blew out a breath, whistling softly. "Man, I miss Devon already."

"Not half as much as Danziger does, I'll wager," Cameron said softly.

"What d'you suppose he dreamed about? Devon?" Magus inquired.

"How do we know it was a Terrian dream, then?" Walman asked with a chuckle.

"I've never been comfortable with the Terrians, especially not since that corpse Julia dug up," Baines offered. "How come we always gotta play by _their_ rules?"

"'Cos they were here first," Magus answered. "It's their planet."

"We're here now," Baines countered.

"Yeah, but Uly wouldn't be if it weren't for them," Cameron interjected.

"Yeah. There _is_ that," Walman agreed.

"You think they'll cure all the Syndrome kids? Shock the hell out of the Council if they do," Baines put in.

"I dunno," Magus whispered. "If we keep up our end of the bargain, maybe. Be an awful disappointment if they don't. I can't say I'm anxious to dream with them, either. I agree with Baines - I haven't been comfortable since that demon Terrian. But if they can cure Devon ... wouldn't it be worth it?"

"Depends," Walman responded.

"On what?" Magus questioned.

"On what it costs us."

"Council cost us enough. I'm willing to give the Terrians a try," Cameron remarked sadly.

***

Julia and Alonzo turned guard duty over to a grumpy and exhausted Walman a few hours later. The camp was quiet; no further dreams had occurred. Julia checked on Danziger before retiring, smiling at the sight of fahter and daughter curled in one another's arms.

Leaving Walman on patrol, she joined Alonzo in their tent, surprised to find him already asleep.

***

Bess didn't know where she was. She heard the sound of surf beating against a shore, the call of birds as they circled overhead. The air smelled of salt and freshness, so different from the beaches of Earth. She looked out onto the horizon, and had to shade her eyes; the sun reflected off the waves was bright as a magnaflare.

She felt the wet sand give under her feet as she walked along the shoreline. Up ahead, she saw the outline of a huge communications dish. She realized with a start that this must be New Pacifica. Smiling, she started to run down the beach, searching for signs of the others. She hauled up short as a Terrian shot up through the ground in a spray of wet sand. She stared up at it, unsure of what to do next. It turned inland and pointed with its staff.

"What do you want me to do?" she asked, trying to quell the uneasiness the sight of the Terrian brought her.

Despite her soothing words to Morgan, she, too, found the idea of Terrian dreaming unsettling.

It didn't answer, merely continued pointing.

Shrugging, she set off in the direction it had indicated.

A hundred meters in from the sea, the ground was firmer, dotted with scrubby grass and low-slung bushes.

She trudged up a rise, and was just cresting the hill when she heard the first explosion. She flattened herself on the ridge, throwing her arms over her head as earth erupted around her in gouts of flame. The screams carried across the battleground to her on the wind. Wriggling gingerly over the ridge, she stared out over a field of devastation. Bodies littered the ground, small fires caught in the grasses and began moving rapidly through the growth.

Overhead, another projectile whistled through the air, the shockwave hitting her a few seconds later. She watched in horror as bodies were flung out from the center of the blast, arms and legs spinning through the smoke, in opposite directions from the bodies to which they'd been attached. She heard a moan nearby, an agonized plea for help. Crawling on her belly, she struggled toward the source of the cry.

He was a bloody mess, one side of his face seared by radiation from the blast. One hand was missing, blood oozing around the cauterized wound. His body was littered with gashes, and a chunk of a percussion bomb stuck out of one leg, slathered in blood. Whimpering in pain, he turned his ruined face toward her and smiled suddenly.

"Bess!" he whispered through heat-damaged lips. "My angel! Have you come to take me to heaven?"

"Morgan?" she gasped, reaching out a trembling hand to touch the raw meat of his cheek.

"I knew I'd see you again, Bess," he told her weakly.

He winced at the touch of her fingers, but he didn't pull away. "I knew you wouldn't let me die alone."

"Morgan, what's happening here? Who's done this to you?" she asked desperately.

"The Separatists," he hissed.

"Separatists? Who are they?"

"You know - the colonists who broke away from New Pacifica. They joined up with some of the penal colonists."

"Why? They came here for a cure -"

"They never got it. They refused the Terrians' help - Bess, you know all this. You were killed in the first battle."

"Killed? Morgan, I'm not dead -"

"No. You're my angel," he said softly. She grabbed at him, pulling him closer to her. He grunted in pain, but stirred weakly as he tried to put his arms around her. "I knew I'd find you again."

"Morgan, what happened to Danziger, to Devon -"

Morgan drew in a shuddering breath, coughed, swallowed hard. Fluid gurgled in his lungs. "Danziger went back on the colony ship, Bess - we saw him and True off the day they left." He paused, taking another shaky, bubbling breath. Bess could feel him weakening, and tears dripped from her face onto his. "When Devon died, he wouldn't stay. You helped him through the first days - I never blamed you for that, Bess, really I didn't. I know you were just being kind." A coughing fit took him then, and she held on urgently, willing her own lifeforce into his failing body. She knew this wasn't her Morgan; he was safe in bed back in the camp. But she knew deep inside that this _could_ be his future. "Without them, the colony just fell apart. I knew we should have gone back to the stations, but it's too late now."

"Quiet now, Morgan. Save your strength," she begged him.

"Doesn't matter," he murmured. "You're here now." He smiled sweetly at her, his eyes fluttering closed.

"Nothing can hurt me anymore ... I have my Bess back ..."

His head lolled to one side as she felt him go limp in her arms. "No," she sobbed. "_No!_"

Suddenly, she was no longer on the battlefield, but standing in a cave, eerie orange light emanating from rocks embedded in the walls. Morganite. She wheeled at the sound of something surging out of the earth behind her. She faced a single Terrian, its head tilted to one side as it looked at her quizzically.

"What is that supposed to mean?" she demanded. "A possible future? _Our_ future, if we don't find a way to cure Devon? Help us, damn you! This is _your_ planet, you must know why it's rejecting her! You can cure her! You can save us all!"

The Terrian trilled something to her then, but she didn't understand what it said. She stood her ground, fists clenched at her sides. "Help us! Don't you understand - Devon can bring everyone together. She can make them understand what it takes to live on this planet. She's the only one they'll listen to. Uly's too young - and Alonzo's too old. We _need_ Devon - and you do, too. She can help us make a future where we all get to live!"

Impassively, the Terrian regarded her in silence for a moment longer, then turned and walked away. It had only gone a few feet before it turned back to her, then dropped into the earth.

"Answer me, dammit!" Bess swore, but she was alone in the cave, the glow of the Morganite dimming slowly.

***

Pounding the cold, hard ground with her fist, Mary growled in frustration. Too many images, too many feelings to sort out. She didn't know how they handled it all if this is what it meant to be human. She was too distracted by all the conflicting impressions, the sense of violence and impending doom, the intense emotions to rejoice in the fact that she had entered the dreamplane twice in one night. The Terrians wouldn't be using these dreams, nor would the power and range of the dreams be great enough to pull her into them, if they weren't important.

She snarled to herself, sitting down hard on the turf.

She scooted backwards until her back was against the trunk of a tree. Snatching her meager bag of possessions, she dug out a piece of fruit and bit into it viciously. Leaning back against the solid support of the tree trunk, she closed her eyes as she chewed, trying to calm the rapid beat of her heart and make sense of all that she'd seen.

***

Bess shot up out of bed, sweating profusely as she wrapped her arms around herself and rocked, sobbing.

"Bess? Bess, honey?" Morgan called out softly, and she felt his arms embrace her, his face - his smooth, undamaged face - press against hers as he whispered nonsense in her ear. She turned into the embrace, holding onto him fiercely.

"What is it, Bess? What's wrong?" he asked worriedly.

"Hold me, Morgan. Just hold me!" she told him, tightening her arms around him.

***

Alonzo was dead to the world when Julia awoke the next morning, so she gently disentangled herself from his arms, and got up, taking care not to wake him. She waved to Baines on sentry duty as she wandered through the otherwise empty camp. When Julia arrived at the mess tent, she was surprised to see that coffee hadn't been brewed, and nothing was being done to start breakfast. Bess was usually in charge of the morning meal, since she was often the first one up, and she was one of the few members of their party who knew how to cook from natural ingredients. They were all learning, but Bess was the master, and she seemed to enjoy it.

It was strange to find the mess tent empty. Shrugging, Julia set about putting on the coffee, or what they called coffee, to brew. Then she started rooting through the supplies to put together breakfast.

Magus was the first to arrive after her, entering the tent as she yawned widely. She scratched her shoulder and dropped into a seat at the table. "Need some help?" she asked blearily.

"Yeah, I guess I could. Looks like Bess is sleeping in."

"Ah, let her," Magus replied, shuffling over to join Julia at the makeshift counter. "Sounded like she had a rough night - heard her cry out a couple of times.

Everybody's spooked by this dream stuff, Julia. It's okay for 'Lonz, but none of us are comfortable with the idea of sharing our dreams with the Terrians."

Julia pushed a pile of vegetables toward Magus and handed her a knife. "I suppose. But I also think we need to come to some sort of ... well, understanding with them if we're going to survive on this planet.

They've helped us in the past - I'm not sure we'd've made it this far without their help."

"Don't sell us short, Doc. Humans survived on old Earth for thousands of years without Terrian help," Magus reminded her as she started to peel some of the vegetables.

"That's just it - this isn't Earth. In many ways, it's a hostile environment. The Terrians have helped us many times in coping with that environment."

"Yeah, maybe. But we had a hand in it, too. You of all people should know not to discount the power of the human spirit."

Julia smiled at the other woman. "I never took you for a philosopher."

"Hey, I might surprise you sometimes, Doc. Hand me that brush, will you?"

Julia did as she was asked, then returned to the vegetables in front of her. The two women worked in companionable silence for a while, until all of the food was cleaned and ready to cook. "Damn, I forgot to start the fire -"

"I'll do it," volunteered a deep voice from the tent opening. Julia looked up from her work into the haggard face of John Danziger.

"Should you be up, John? You had a rough night -"

"I'm fine," he snapped, and turned on his heel to go back out into the camp.

Magus and Julia exchanged sympathetic glances, and Magus quipped, "He's a bear until he's had his caffeine. Here, let me get this stuff in the pot, you take 'im some coffee."

Julia nodded, and poured two cups of coffee, one for her and one for Danziger. She carried them carefully out into the chill morning air, where Danziger was blowing gently on the tinder to get the fire going.

"Here," she said simply, extending the steaming cup toward Danziger.

He looked up and smiled tightly, accepting the cup and sipping at the coffee. He went back to work starting the fire, effectively ignoring her. She settled herself on a log by the firepit and wrapped her hands around her cup and sipped thoughtfully.

"What?" he demanded after a few moments of silence.

"You're going to have to talk about it, John," she told him. When he opened his mouth to protest, she plowed on, "You had a Terrian dream last night, John - I checked your vitals, and your alpha rhythms were definitely those of a Terrian dream. You know how important it is that we not keep such dreams secret.

They're critical to our survival here."

"Yeah," he admitted grudgingly. The fire was starting to catch now, and he sat back on a log across from her, grunting with the effort.

"So?"

"So, let a man have his breakfast before you start dissecting his brain, will you, Doc?" Danziger rumbled at her.

She had to smile. John Danziger was the strongest man she'd ever known, and yet he could be as vulnerable as a child when it came to dealing with anything emotional. Anything, that is, unless it concerned his daughter. There, he attempted to mask nothing.

Sometimes, she envied True Danziger. Sighing, she agreed, "Okay. But after you've eaten, let's take a walk, okay? You can tell me about your dream then."

"You don't want a group therapy session?" he asked doubtfully.

"Maybe Alonzo, if he ever wakes up. Until we know more, there's no real reason to drag the others into it."

"I think maybe you'd better include Bess on that, Julia," came Morgan's voice from behind her.

She twisted around in her seat to look up into Morgan's shadowed face. "Bess had a Terrian dream, too?"

"I think you'd better come and see - she's a mess this morning."

***

Morgan led Danziger and Julia to the tent he shared with Bess. Julia paused at the med-tent to retrieve the diaglove, and poked her head in the tent she shared with Alonzo. Amazingly, he was still asleep.

Morgan was unusually solemn as he came up his tent; no protests, no whining, no agitating for better perks or more attention. He simply ushered them into his tent with great dignity, walked over to the side of the cot where Bess lay, and took her hand in silence.

Bess's face was drawn and pale; she obviously hadn't slept well. Julia joined Morgan at her side, and ran the diaglove over Bess.

"I don't see any sign of infection. You're tired, but not necessarily ill," Julia announced gently.

Bess tossed her head back impatiently. "If you'd seen what I saw last night, you wouldn't be so quick to judge!"

Julia settled onto the stool Danziger had pushed over for her. "Why don't you tell me what you saw?"

Bess bit her lip anxiously, her eyes glittering with tears, old and new. Dark smudges under those eyes gave her face a haunted look. "_You_ had a dream last night, Danziger - why don't you go first?" she challenged.

Danziger's eyes shifted from person to person in the tent as he moved from foot to foot. He cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"No? It was that painful, huh?" she snapped. At the brief expression of deep anguish on Danziger's face, she softened her approach. "I'm sorry. It was just ..." she sighed, "awful."

Danziger scuffed his boot in the dust at the floor of the tent, staring at his hands a moment, then he started to talk. His narrative was met with utter silence. As he recounted the events of his dream, Bess's face crumpled into tears, and she wept quietly.

When Danziger was through, Bess reached out to him urgently. "Oh, John - I'm so sorry. I didn't think anyone could dream something as horrible as I did - I was wrong."

"'S'okay, Bess," John replied gruffly.

"Well, in my dream, we'd made it to New Pacifica. But Devon was dead - just like in your dream. I arrived at the beach, but ... there was a terrible battle going on. People were dying everywhere. And then I found Morgan."

"What was the reason for the battle?" Julia asked gently.

"In the dream, Morgan called them Separatists - people who'd broken away from the colony and joined up with the penal colonists. People who refused the Terrians' help in curing the children. You'd left the planet to return to the stations," she directed to Danziger.

"And I had apparently died in the first battle. It was all for nothing," she finished quietly.

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