In the Beginning, Part 2
by Vicki Firth
Copyright 1995
Near the cave was a small thicket of trees whose branches had kept the kindling and wood on the ground below relatively dry. As John set about gathering enough for a fire his mind wandered over the events of the past hour. Part of him still wanted to suppress his feelings for Devon; perhaps it was a fear of revealing all of his emotions, or exposing that part of himself, that prompted such a reaction. But he knew without a doubt that he was in love with Devon Adair. He had known for sure since the day many months ago when they had been forced to put her in the cold sleep chamber of Bennett's ship. He had almost lost her then, and it had almost killed him. He had walked around like an automaton - by all outward appearances functioning normally, but barely getting by on the inside.
When they had revived her he had reverted back to his usual demeanour, keeping her at arm's length to protect himself from his feelings. But after the events of today and his second scare for her life he was no longer as willing to bury his desires. He had lost love before when he lost Elle. On G-889 there were no guarantees. They'd lost enough already - O'Neil, Les and Alex, Ebon - to let go of a precious opportunity to know love again simply due to fears or apprehensions would be foolish. John knew that the planet allowed for no promises and that he should take whatever time and opportunity it deigned to give - and he knew that the time to allow his feelings for Devon to come to light was now.
As he made his way back to the cave with his load of wood, he felt as though a different burden he had been carrying was lifted from him. He was not going to fall to Devon's feet and announce how much he wanted her and needed her, he was not going to take things too far or too fast. But he was going to let go of the pretence that he didn't feel for her. He would let her see that he cared for her, if the moments they shared on the cliffside replayed themselves again, if he had the chance to take her in his arms again. If he had the chance to kiss her again. He wanted to kiss her again, and more, but he was not going to make a move to that end until the time was right, until he was sure of her.
Devon had just finished saying goodnight to Uly on gear when John returned to the cave. He set about making a fire while she finished her conversation. When she was done she glanced up at John who was in the process of peeling off his soaking shirt. Devon couldn't stop herself from staring at the bare-chested John Danziger that stood across the fire from her, the flames giving his partially unclothed body a bronzed glow. She slowly looked up and met his eyes, then quickly found an interest in gazing at the fire, hoping that it was a good excuse for the flush she could feel spreading across her face. Devon Adair hadn't blushed for almost 20 years.
Grabbing the dry pants that True had thought to put in his pack, John dashed outside to finish changing. 'It's gonna be a long night,' he thought. He didn't have much hope for getting a good sleep being in such close quarters with Devon. Particularly with the firelight casting such a soft glow around her and with the memories of the day wreaking havoc with his thoughts and emotions.
He went back into the cave and found a couple of semolina bars. After passing one to Devon he retreated to the far side of the fire, backing almost all the way up to the wall of the cave.
They ate in silence for a few moments, then Devon innocently set them on the road to their destiny.
"John, you're freezing. Come over here and we can share the blanket." Her motive, honestly, was for his comfort but she fully realized the implications that such an arrangement could lead to. She wasn't adverse to the idea.
He looked at her for a long time without speaking. He seemed to be fighting with something inside. Finally, bluntly, he said, "Devon, if I come over there with nothing between us but that shirt of mine you're wearing, I can't promise that I'm gonna...um...be able to...maintain my composure."
She gave him a level look and said calmly, "I don't want you to maintain your composure." She lifted a corner of the blanket in invitation.
Without breaking eye contact, Danziger slowly stood up and closed the space between them. Devon counted each footstep with a beat of her heart which along with her pulse had increased in tempo.
He sat beside her and took her in his arms. She rested her head on his shoulder and they gave themselves time to feel the wonder of finally giving in to their wants for each other.
"Are you sure, Devon?" John asked softly.
"I haven't been this sure of anything else since we landed on the planet." She smiled as she ran her fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck. "But John, you should know, I...I haven't been with a man since before Uly was born."
John stiffened slightly at that proclamation. "But...but what about..." He didn't want to say the name for fear of bringing on sad memories at such a time.
"Sheppard?" Devon finished for him. She raised her head to look directly at him. "No, we didn't. There wasn't time." Her smile faded.
"I'm sorry."
"It's alright." Her eyes took on a faraway look. She was quiet for a moment then she blinked and focused on John once more.
"John, Sheppard was like a dream to me, literally at first, and even after I had actually met him. I'm glad I did and I will never forget him, never. But you're here, and you're real. And I want *you*."
Danziger felt a happiness not equalled in many years rush through him. With that he lowered his face to hers, and a time later her lowered the two of them to the floor.
As the firelight reflected its heat and its glow about the cave, they danced to a rhythm that had begun a millennia ago, on another Earth, in a place called Eden.
***
When the first rays of sunlight found their way into the cave Devon awoke feeling more rested and content than she had in many years. This despite the fact that she and Danziger had awoken many times throughout the night to continue their discovery of each other.
Devon smiled and stretched before opening her eyes and when she did she discovered herself alone in the cave. She quickly rose and dressed and headed outside.
She spotted John standing at the edge of the plateau, on the other side to where they had climbed up. She walked over to him and called out a hearty good morning.
"Look Devon," John pointed in a southwestwardly direction, "there's your pass through the mountains."
She followed his gaze and saw the pass, hidden from the ground by a winding trail. "Oh! I knew we'd find it by coming up here!" She threw her arms around him in delight.
When he didn't respond to her embrace she backed away from him and gave him a questioning look. 'No,' she thought. 'Please don't let it have been a mistake.' She refused to believe the passion they had shared had been anything less than a true and mutual fulfilment of their emotions, wants and desires.
John looked at her steadily. "Do you have any regrets?"
"No!" she cried. John silently let out the breath he didn't know he had been holding. "John, last night is something I've wanted for a long time, only I'd been too stupid to realize it!" She continued in a quieter tone, "I've wanted you for a long time and last night I finally admitted it to the both of us. Dammit, I think I'm falling in love with you, John Danziger, and if you have a problem with that you'd better let me know."
In way of reply he took her face in his hands and in between kissing her he muttered, "This is one time I have no problems with your ambitions."
They fell to the ground as one and under the warm morning sun with a scent of flowers in the air, their return to camp was somewhat delayed.
***
Devon asked John to halt the Dunerail before they met up with the rest of the group.
"John," she began and took a steadying breath, "I don't think we should tell the others...yet...about us." 'Please let him understand,' she thought.
He looked at her as she sat beside him and wrinkled his brow. "Why? Do *you* have some sort of problem with this now?"
She shook her head and reached over to caress his cheek. "No, but I think they might."
"What do you mean?"
"The others look to us for leadership. If they don't like a decision I make, or an idea I have, then they turn to you for another option. You're my balance, John. They rely on that. I think if they saw us as being together, they'd think they'd lost their second opinion."
"Yeah, you do have a point there." He sighed. "I hate the thought of having to hide this from the world, but I guess I've had a lot of practice at it already." He pointed a finger at her. "And don't you think that I'm gonna start agreeing with you all the time now, 'cause it's not gonna happen, Adair."
She laughed and said, "Don't I know it. Stubborn man!"
He drew her to him for one last, long kiss. "This isn't the end of us, Devon."
"I know. It's just the beginning."
-The End-
Chapter End Notes:
Yeah, so I'm a romantic. There are worse things in life to be. This is my first attempt at fan fiction and I hope you liked it. Your comments are always welcome.
Received by e-mail on 6/11/95 from Author
Received by e-mail on 6/11/95 from Author