One Fell Swoop by Allison McDonnell

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It had begun to lightly mist again, yet Devon was too emotionally numb to notice. Her boots sank into the moist grass as she trudged through the darkened camp, the vid-chip firmly sheltered within her grasp like a delicate flower. She needed to be alone, but had no idea as to where to go. As she drifted past the med-quarters, she viewed the silhouette of Magus lying still in her sickbed with Walman keeping close vigil at her side. A break between the tents brought the campfire into full view, with a soaked Baines, Cameron, Mazatl and Denner encircled around it despite the rainfall. Even at a distance, their grief-stricken expressions were clearly reflected in the flickering firelight. Once they'd noticed her presence, she was unable to face their sympathetic stares and swung her gaze toward the nearest tent. Its canvas flap was partially ajar and provided her with an unobstructed view of Morgan as he tried his best to comfort Bess as she sobbed in his arms.

Needing to get away, Devon increased her pace and hurried toward the outskirts of camp. When she arrived at the area where all three vehicles were parked, she had to stop herself from involuntarily checking for Danziger's ever-doting form wedged beneath one of the under-carriages. She fought back more tears as she remembered that she would never see him there again, nor anywhere else. She'd never feel the touch of his skin as he held her, or hear his deep baritone as he voiced his unflinching support or exasperated disapproval of her latest venture. The two of them would never engage in an argument again. And that made Devon exceedingly sad.

The very idea that Devon was thinking about Danziger in the past tense brought on several new waves of nausea. The campsite itself suddenly felt claustrophobic and, for a fleeting moment, she considered making a break for it and running into the neighboring woods as fast as her legs would carry her. She just needed to do something-- anything-- to clear her head. She wanted to find a place where she didn't have to consider the monumental consequences that John's death would have for the group; and for her. She needed to somehow stop the pain deep within her chest where her heart had been shattered into a thousand pieces, likely never to be fully repaired or whole again. She paused to wonder if John had experienced something similar to this when he'd lost Elle.

"I would do anything for you, Devon."

John would never again repeat those words of devotion to her, nor would he ever get the chance to expand upon them. The word 'love' would never spill from his lips and she'd waited too long to divulge her love for him as well simply because she'd ascertained that he wasn't ready to here it.

It occurred to her how strange it was that she hadn't been up front with Danziger from the moment that she'd realized that she'd wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. After all, she was a woman who'd rarely held her tongue, no matter what the situation. But this time, she had been dealing with matters of the heart; unfamiliar territory, to say the least. Unsure as to how to proceed, she'd decided to exercise patience and restraint with the understanding that things would eventually work out to their mutual benefits in the long run. It had been a terrible miscalculation on her part and now the opportunity to tell John that she'd loved him was gone forever.

Devon let out a shuddering breath as she opened her hand to expose the precious object that Danziger had left for her, careful to safeguard it from the ever-increasing downpour. Needing to see his face and hear his voice more than ever, it became imperative that she find a private place to view the vid-chip as soon as possible. Fleeing camp was out of the question because it was essential that she stay close by in case True needed her. Devon considered several options before deciding upon a location in which it was all but an absolute certainty that she would remain undisturbed.

She made her way back toward the center of camp, purposely circumventing the evening fire and its inhabitants before halting at the tent just shy of her own. She briefly closed her eyes, permitting a few tears to accompany the raindrops cascading down her cheeks before unsealing the tarp and entering the now-vacant Danziger tent.

Devon didn't consider trying to locate a lumalight, instead preferring to allow her eyes to gradually adjust to the encompassing darkness. As John and True's belongings came into view, her feet moved of their own volition and carried her to the elder Danziger's cot. She spotted John's tool-belt carefully stretched across the mattress, as if awaiting his return in order to attend to any number of projects that required his immediate attention. She delicately relinquished the vid-chip to his pillow before taking the belt into her hands, gently running her fingers over the worn leather, before kneeling and placing the equipment under the bed.

Through Devon's haze of welled tears, she spotted the duffel bag which contained John's personal possessions haphazardly leaned against one of the metal bunk-posts. A sliver of patterned fabric peeking out of the top caught her eye and she easily recognized it as one of his shirts. In one fluid motion, she slowly tugged on the material until it was removed from the baggage as she rose to her feet, only to sink into the very spot on Danziger's cot where his tool-belt had been only moments before. The entire time, her eyes were solely focused on the nearly threadbare article of clothing. After a few moments of contemplation, she brought the shirt to her nose and drank in John's lingering scent before gingerly draping the fabric across her knees, its oversized proportion serving as a lightweight blanket as it covered most of the lower half of her body.

She removed the gearset from the pocket of her jacket and positioned it the best that she could in between her soaked auburn strands. Her hands trembled a bit as she retrieved the nearby vid-chip and swung the eyepiece around. Now all she had to do was start the program and she would see John again. A part of her yearned desperately for his presence, even if it was only nothing more than a VR image. But another part was terrified at seeing him and of the feelings that it would evoke; particularly the enormous grief that she was just barely keeping at bay.

She paused for several seconds, listening to the torrent of rain above her. The din echoed loudly in her ears, momentarily resembling an artillery strike more than harmless drops of water pelting the canvas. Shaking herself out of her daze and back to cognitive thought, she let out a slow breath and tapped at the keypad just above her ear to begin the video recording.

"Hey there, Adair."

Overwhelmed, Devon was forced to break the transmission and stopped just short of tearing the gearset from her head. Indeed, it was a lot to take in. Her breath was now caught in her throat, she was having trouble exhaling and her heart had intensified its beat to the point that she worried that it might explode. She was beginning to perspire, despite the chill and dabbed at her moist cheek with John's tattered shirt.

As she worked to regain control of her bearings, she tried to absorb the various details of the two seconds that she'd seen, in order to prepare herself for what more there was to come. To her surprise, instead of being transported into a full, interactive VR program, John had chosen to record a message in gear-log form, complete with the standard close-up view of his head and upper torso. Even his name and worker ID were in the lower right-hand side of the screen.

Danziger was dressed in the very shirt which currently resided in her lap along with his blue Ops jacket. As usual, he looked a bit on the disheveled side and his clothing and skin were caked with dirt. There was also a fresh grease stain on his collar, a telltale sign that he'd recently been working on one of the vehicles. Devon also noted that, underneath two days worth of beard-growth, Danziger's complexion seemed much paler and his hair was a darker shade than it was the last time that she'd seen him. She ascertained that the VR program had been recorded several months ago, perhaps in late Winter or early Spring, before the sun had altered his overall appearance.

After steadying herself as much as possible under the circumstances, she took a deep breath and reentered the program. The darkness of her current surroundings was replaced by the bright daylight of the afternoon sun, though it was mostly obscured by John's image. Devon stifled a sob as she watched.

"We, uh, well, we pulled you out of cold sleep just over two days ago. I got to see you briefly, but Julia's got you under lock and key right now. She says that I have a habit of raisin' your blood pressure so apparently I've been banned from seein' you again until you're stabilized. But I'm sure that you'll be well enough for visitors pretty soon. In fact, I'm bettin' that you're gonna be back to your old self in no time flat."

She mentally confirmed that she'd been correct about the timeline for the video. This was recorded well before they'd admitted and acted upon their feelings for one another.

Danziger proceeded, "Anyway, this whole thing of comin' so close to losing you got me to thinking. I really need to consider some hard truths here. I'm not too far off from the average life expectancy for a Drone. I figure that my luck's gotta run out sooner or later. So when that time comes, I figured that it might be good to have a vid-will. And despite the fact that I'm pretty damn pissed off at you right now for hiding how sick you were, I've still decided to choose you as the executor of the Danziger estate... such as it is."

There was no mistaking the smirk on his face as he rolled his eyes and this elicited a small smile from Devon. She remained captivated as the vid continued.

"I know that you and I haven't always gotten along all that well. Let's be honest: you can be a colossal pain in the balls. You might also be a bit nuts. Hell, you'd have to be to leave your cushiony preordained life of fortune and fame and drag us all here to colonize a planet on the opposite end of the solar system.

And in the interest of fairness, I guess that maybe I sometimes come across as a bit... difficult. But even though we drive each other crazy, I also think that we're friends. And there's no doubt that you're a wonderful mother to Uly."

An expression of pride and perhaps sadness took over his face.

"That's a great kid, you got there. I tried to fill in for you these past few days, but I know that it wasn't the same. And it never could be. Or should be, for that matter."

John shrugged and shook his head.

"I was sort of surprised when you asked me to take over raisin' him if you couldn't. I guess I kinda figured that you would've asked Yale since you know him better. Christ, he's been with Uly his whole life. But it meant a lot to me that you trusted me with your son, not to mention trustin' me with the group and takin' over the mission to New Pacifica.

Even though I think that you're the only one who can really pull all of this off, I'm flattered that you thought that I could do it, too. I woulda tried not to let you down. I'm just glad as hell that Julia figured out how to bring you back. It was way too quiet around here without you always squawkin' orders at me."

Despite her sorrow, Devon couldn't help but match John's sly grin as she continued to watch.

"Anyway, who knows what'll happen? I mean, you could get this vid in two days or in two years. Hell, for all I know, I could outlive every single shankin' one of ya'. But in case I don't, I just wanted something official that says what I want.

And what I want is for you to raise True. Bring her up just as pigheaded and confident and ridiculously optimistic as you are. And she's not gonna make it easy on you, either. After all, she's got Danziger blood flowin' through her veins.

But I feel pretty good knowin' that, if and when I'm no longer around, True'll finally get to have a mother for the first time in her life. And I know that you'll do right by her. And, hey, she'll get herself a kid brother, too, so that's not so bad."

Devon was forced to pause the transmission again, this time to wipe at the tears welling in her eyes. After regathering her wits, she started again, noticing the thoughtful, open expression in his eyes that hadn't been there before.

"Lately, I've been thinkin' a lot about New Pacifica. I gotta admit that I'm not really all that used to mullin' over what's ahead of us, besides what I want for True, that is. But I think that maybe New Pacifica is sounding better and better. As dangerous as this ball of dirt is, it might be a nice place to settle down. It's got fresh air and plenty of room for True to stretch her legs. She could have a real future here. Better than I'd ever hoped. Hell, maybe I can, too."

John paused to rake his hand through his tangled curls.

"I don't know where you and I will be at the time you get this. But I want you to know that I consider you to be a friend. An irritating, demanding, overly idealistic friend with a God-complex, but a friend nonetheless. Thank you for that and I'm glad that we got to know one another."

Devon let out a chortle. Only in John Danziger's slightly off-kilter world could those words be considered terms of endearment. And she accepted all of his descriptions of her as high compliments.

Danziger shrugged his shoulders, again, suddenly looking a bit uncomfortable, as if he didn't know how to end. Or perhaps he was contemplating whether or not to add anything else to his message.

"Well, I s'pose I said what I needed to. Whatever happens to me, take care of True. And please care of yourself, too."

He reached up to his unseen gear.

"Okay, then. Thanks. And good-bye."

And with a confident nod, he ended the transmission and, abruptly, Devon's world went dark again. As she slowly swung the eyepiece away from her face, she was racked with a series of shudders, looking every bit as shell-shocked as she felt. Every bone and muscle in her body ached for John and the sense of loss threatened to swallow her whole.

At the moment, she fully realized that there were other matters requiring her attention, including calling on Magus to discuss her last conversation with Danziger which had taken place only minutes before his untimely death. However, that visit would have to wait for now, as would everything else.

Devon gave in to her sobs and she collapsed sideways onto Danziger's cot. As her head landed squarely on his pillow, she pulled her knees against her chest and clutched his shirt tightly against her.

"Damn you, John," she whispered through her tears as she rotated the gearset's eyepiece back and restarted the program.

___________________________________________

For the first time in many days, the crew of Eden Advance did not wake up to rain. However, not a single one of them paid any attention to the improvement of their surroundings.

Indeed, the following day was a blur to most of the members of Eden Advance. Without Devon's knowledge, the group had called an emergency meeting in the early morning hours and had made two important decisions. Firstly, they'd agreed to collectively take charge temporarily, so Devon could concentrate her efforts on taking care of herself and True. And secondly, with a still weakened but headstrong Magus leading the charge, the crew had voted to override Julia's recommendation of resting twenty-four hours before their departure. Even a sullen Alonzo had spoken up in an effort to sway Julia's mindset and, eventually, the doctor had capitulated. It was abundantly clear that the group wished to vacate the area as quickly as possible. The valley simply held too many sad memories.

The crew had risen early, though none had enjoyed more than an hour or two of sleep. As such, by the time Devon had quietly slipped out of her tent, leaving True fast asleep in her cot, she was shocked to find that much of the campsite had already been dismantled. Alonzo and Baines had done their best to map out a course for the day and had then joined Denner, Yale, Uly and Zero in disassembling and loading the tents and equipment. Bess and Morgan had taken great care in packing up the Danziger quarters and had stored John's belongings in one of the Transrover's compartments. Mazatl had assigned himself the job of readying the vehicles for another rough ride while Cameron cooked and served breakfast to the continuously moving crew. Julia, with Walman's constant assistance, tended to Magus, and her stretcher would eventually be strapped to the side of the 'Rover when their tasks were complete.

Devon caught sight of Magus, who'd apparently insisted on being hoisted out on her stretcher to the morning campfire so she could be closer to her friends. This also allowed the crew-woman a few much appreciated moments without Julia and Walman doting over her to the point of annoyance. However, the two remained close by and were sure to check in with her every few minutes while they tore down and packed up the med-tent.

After spending several hours alone in Danziger's quarters the previous night, Devon had stopped by to visit Magus, but by that late hour, she was already firmly in the grips of a sedaderm-induced sleep and was unable to relay the details of her final discussion with John. To be truthful, a part of Devon had been grateful for the short reprieve. At that moment, True had needed to be her first priority and Devon had been anxious to return to her side as quickly as possible. The leader also recognized that hearing Magus' account at that moment might have pushed her over the edge into complete emotional exhaustion.

However, the new day brought a more lucid, though still medicated, Magus. As soon as she noticed Devon seemingly frozen in place just outside of her tent, she waved and motioned for the leader to join her. Devon nodded and traded somber 'hellos' and 'good mornings' with the crew as she made her way over to join Magus by the campfire. But midway through her journey, she was stopped by Uly calling out to her from the camp's edge. He ran to her at full speed and threw his arms around her waist, the impact of his body nearly knocking her over in the process.

"I'm sorry that Mr. Danziger died, Mom," he comforted, trying to sound as supportive as possible through his slightly choked up voice. "I'm gonna miss him a lot."

Devon returned her son's tight embrace. "So will I, Sweetheart," she whispered, leaning over to kiss the top of his head.

Although Uly's words were slightly muffled because he'd buried his head into his mother's jacket, there was no mistaking the concern in his voice. "What's gonna happen to True?"

Devon let out a slow breath as she broke contact and lowered to one knee in order to speak with Uly directly. "We're going to take care of her," she proclaimed, her features now transformed from deep sorrow to maternal resolve. "From now on, True will be a part of our family."

"Okay," he nodded, glad that his Mom has already made the decision about True moving in with them, especially because he'd been prepared to lobby for the very same thing. Though Uly didn't always get along with her, there was no doubt that True was his best friend. Plus, when his Mom had been sick all those months ago, True had been more than willing to share Mr. Danziger with him. So it was only fair that, now that Mr. Danziger was gone, he should share his Mom with True.

Uly felt so sad for True's loss, as well as for his own. Mr. Danziger had also been his friend and he'd really liked him. And though he'd never really given it all that much thought before, Uly realized that Mr. Danziger was probably the closest thing to a father that he'd ever had. And now that he was dead, Uly's life felt emptier now. And he could only imagine what True was going through.

Before Uly knew it, his eyes were starting to well up with tears. He didn't wish to increase his Mother's unhappiness, so he tried to make a hasty exit before she could pick up on the fact that he was beginning to cry.

"Can I go help Denner pack up the fruit cart?"

It took a moment for Devon to respond and she involuntarily pulled back slightly, a bit surprised at how quickly and easily Uly had accepted their current circumstances, as well as the monumental changes in their lives. He'd seemed to be taking the news of Danziger's demise extremely well; so much so that she couldn't help but question if Uly's overall views about death might have been profoundly affected by the years he'd spent making friends in the Syndrome Ward on the Stations, only to watch every one of them fade away before their ninth birthday. It seemed that he wasn't as innocent as she'd expected, at least when it came to the subject of mortality.

"Sure," she finally said, faltering slightly. "I need to talk to Magus for a few minutes. But I promise that we'll catch up to each other before we leave, okay?"

Uly nodded. "Maybe we can ride in the Transrover together for the first leg," he suggested, before feeling the need to add a clarification, "you know-- you, me and True."

"That's a great idea," Devon replied, noting with pride that he was already putting the idea of True becoming a family member into practice.

As her son bounded off in Denner's direction, Devon reinitiated her short trek to join Magus next to the campfire. She tried her best to smile as she pulled up a crate alongside the crew-woman, whose stretcher hovered about two feet off the ground, carefully balanced between two small but sturdy storage containers of equal height.

"You're looking much better," Devon relayed, purposely averting her eyes from the deep bruising and contusions which covered a good portion of Magus' face.

Magus' words were significantly slurred from the swelling of her jaw and most of the right side of her mouth. "Yeah, today's a better day."

The woman pulled her jacket closed and Devon was unsure if she'd done this because she'd felt a chill or if it was to conceal the deep black and blue marks which stretched across her upper chest in the shape of Edmund Griggs' legs when he'd attempted to suffocate her.

She began to fidget with her heavily bandaged leg. "I- I, uh, I just wanted you to know that Danziger and I talked a little bit yesterday, before..." She paused and took a full breath, realizing that some sentences were better left incomplete.

The hesitation was evident in her voice as she tried to choose the right words. "There's not all that much to tell you really, but John sorta admitted to me that you two... cared about each other. He also said that you were gonna wait until New Pacifica before starting anything."

As Devon's eyes widened, Magus continued, "He was very sweet about it in his own stubborn, surly way... and sort of embarrassed. You know how private he is about stuff like that. Getting anything out of him is worse than pullin' teeth."

The crew-woman shifted her body weight uncomfortably. "Anyway, it was clear to me that Danziger was starting to think about his future with you and about what life might be like after the colony ship gets here."

Magus paused to regroup her thoughts. It was imperative that she spin her final conversation with John in a completely positive light. She fully understood that no good could ever come out of divulging Danziger's worries that the vast differences in Devon and his backgrounds, especially his Drone birthright, might doom their future relationship.

"John and I have been friends for a good while now, and I must've heard about his plans for True's future at least a thousand times. But in all of the years I've known him, I can honestly say that I've never once heard him talk about what he wants for himself."

She did her best to smile, though her swollen mouth refused to cooperate. "You made him see the world differently, Devon. I'm really glad about that."

Magus furthered, "I don't know all that much about Danziger's life before True, but there's no doubt he's had a lot of tough breaks; probably more than most. I also know that he's sacrificed a helluva lot to keep a roof over his kid's head and put food in her mouth. It's never been easy for him."

She halted and her stomach clenched into a knot as she realized that she was speaking about Danziger in the present tense. She swallowed hard before beginning again, certain to correct her innocent, yet somber mistake.

"But despite all of the crap in his life, John was always a great friend and a fair boss to all the crews that worked under him. He was a good man and I'm really glad that he'd finally found someone who'd made him happy, again. Meeting you was probably one of the best things that'd ever happened to him."

Devon averted her eyes and the volume of her voice was barely above a whisper. Even though Magus could barely hear her, there was no missing the sorrow and guilt which permeated every syllable.

"Except that meeting me ended up getting him killed."

"Nah, that's just not so," Magus insisted, leaning forward as much as she could without causing extreme discomfort. "And I'm sure if Danziger were here, he'd tell you the same. In fact, he'd probably say somethin' like--" Despite her continued slur and swollen mouth, she lowered her tone an octave and made her best effort to impersonate the mechanic, "'When your number's up, it's up and that's all there is to it. So stop your bitchin' and take it like an adult.'"

Devon's ever-so-brief smirk at the impression quickly disintegrated and returned to her former downcast expression.

Magus reverted her voice to its normal inflection. "This isn't your fault, Devon. Griggs and those penal colonists were the ones who took Danziger's life, not you," she expressed with equal parts fortitude and sympathy. "And I know that this doesn't need sayin', but I'm gonna say it anyway: If there's anything that any of us can do for you and True to help make this... transition easier, just say the word and it'll be done. You guys are family and we're all gonna be there for you every step of the way."

Devon was appreciative, but a little surprised by the amount of strength in Magus' words and overall demeanor. Over the past months, Magus certainly hadn't exhibited much of a take-charge attitude and had seemed content to remain in the background. In fact, Devon had always considered Magus to be a tad on the emotional side. Perhaps it had been John's death or even her own near-death experience which had changed the Ops crew-woman and had given her a more proactive mindset. Or maybe it had more to do with the amount of pain medication that was currently coursing through Magus' veins.

Then again, although Devon considered Magus to be a friend, she couldn't remember a recent time that she had casually sat down with the woman just to talk and to get to know one another better. Maybe she'd always been this way and Devon simply hadn't noticed it before. She couldn't help but wonder if perhaps most of Eden Advance also possessed these leadership qualities, but had voluntarily chosen to defer to both Danziger and to her own authority to lead them all to New Pacifica and beyond. Judging by the almost completely dismantled camp and the seamless way that the group had jointly taken charge, Devon surmised that this most certainly looked to be the case.

Devon climbed to her feet, first thanking Magus and then greeting and thanking a returning Julia and Walman, who were determined to check on their obstinate patient at least once every five minutes. However, this time Julia was armed with her med-bag in order to apply more salve to some of Magus' deeper contusions, as well as to perform a final scan of her vital signs before securing her stretcher to the side of the Rover. Julia's last act was to administer an additional pain block to shield the woman as much as possible from the physical distress of traveling over the bumpy terrain.

Devon excused herself and began the journey back to her tent which, at this point, was the only structure which remained in what was once a flourishing campsite. She briefly stopped to accept two offered plates of food from Cameron, understanding that she and True would have to eat as she helped True dress and ready herself for their departure. Devon wasn't sure what sight would greet her when she entered the dwelling, nor did she have a clue as to how well True was dealing with her father's death. However, there would be plenty of time to address that and other related issues as they rode together in the Transrover.

Just before she arrived at the threshold of her quarters, she turned and scanned the surrounding landscape, letting out a slow exhalation and mentally steeling herself for what lay ahead of them. She was keenly aware that, no matter how bleak the perspective might currently appear to her and to the rest of Eden Advance, it was absolutely imperative that each and every one of them kept moving forward. John would have wanted it that way.

In fact, he would have demanded it.

____________________________________________________________

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