Choices by Tara OShea

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The Grinning Grendler was packed. Walman rinsed out, dried and refilled the tins cups as fast as they were handed to him, and his eyes flicked over the crowd with uncertainty. Ever since Devon had roused the parents, and told them what had happened, they had seemed torn between relief and fear. The fear that can only come when after spending every minute of their lives at their side to brush away the tears and hear the laughter, you suddenly do not know where your child is.

Yale brought out another oak cask from the storeroom, glad that Alonzo and Walman had manage to fix the refrigeration system that afternoon. It had grown unbearably warm in the taproom, with all the bodies crammed into corners and lingering in doorways and stairwells.

The doors opened, and one dark head and one fair head slipped through. Yale remembered them, and frowned. It was too late for children their age to be up, wasn't it?

"What's going on?" Miko made her way to the bar, and looked up at Yale. "I can't find my mom."

"She's in the Common with Dr. Vasquez and Julia," the cyborg tutor said gently. "The children have disappeared, the Terrians have taken them to be healed."

"Really?" Miko's eyes grew wide, and she looked back at Jack, who had managed to commandeer a recently vacated stool, and had wrapped his long legs around it, his hair still sticking up at odd angles, circles under his eyes. She licked her lips, her dark eyes skimming over the restless crowd before returning to Yale's calm, steady gaze. "But, I mean, that's good, right? That's what we've all been waiting for, praying for. Why aren't people happy?"

"Where did they go?" The landscape had changed again, from the cold, sterile white mesa, to the caves beneath the waterfall near the Martin's unfinished house. Alonzo was used to the thought-quick shifts in time and location, but Taggert seemed afraid.

"Max is in another part of the dreamplane, we're only on the surface here."

"My God, how can you stand this? Being at their mercy, you could lose yourself so easily." The roar of the water almost drowned out his voice, which was little more than a haggard whisper and he stumbled around, recoiling from the rock beneath his hand. "It feels--"

"Alive? It is. This whole planet is. You can feel that more here."

The sandy ground suddenly began to crack and spit, and a child's hand appeared. Alonzo stepped back just as Taggert rushed forward, gripped by an eerie sense of deja-vu. The Terrians appeared, as if coming from the walls, fading into existence before their eyes, but all Taggert could see was his dusty coughing son. Even in the dream Max was pale and painfully thin. Tears streamed down Taggert's face as he hugged Max tightly to his chest.

"No!" Max struggled. The memory of the earth closing over him clouded his eyes, and his face was white with terror.

"Shhhh, it's okay. Daddy's here, it's okay. I won't let anyone hurt you." Taggert pressed a kiss to the boy's sandy hair, and looked up as one of the Terrians held out its hand.

"You have to give him back," Alonzo said softly, but Taggert shook his head.

"No."

Morgan didn't know what had awakened him. He had been dreaming of the cocktail parties he would have in their home once it was finished, had envisioned the whole affair right down to the chandelier above the dining room table he had yet to build, and the dress Bess would be wearing once he figured out how to pay for it in a community where money didn't seem to be an issue.

"Morgan?" she murmured sleepily as he sat up, reaching for the empty space next to her that was still warm.

"I heard something."
Voices. that was it. Voices, raised in anger floated up from downstairs.

"Who could be up at this hour?" Bess' hair fell in curls to frame her face as he switched on the lamp on the dresser, and she rubbed her eyes sleepily.

"I'm going to go downstairs and remind people that there are people trying to get a decent night's sleep up here." Morgan tugged on his pants, wandering around the room with one shoe in his hand, searching for its lost mate. Bess dug around under the bed and tossed the orphaned shoe to him, reaching for her own.

"I'll come with you."

"You okay?" Danziger leaned against the wall, watching Devon as she rubbed her arms, staring off into space. He had gone and checked up on True, who was sleeping through it all. He had pressed a kiss to her forehead, and she had just rolled over, snoring softly. He figured there was no need to wake her, she could hear about it all in the morning.

"It's Uly." Devon said softly. "I trust the Terrians. I do. But sometimes, I feel like I'm losing him." She closed her eyes, as if she was in pain, and then let out her breath in a sigh, looking up to meet his eyes. "Sometimes, I guess don't feel so confident and optimistic."

Danziger frowned. He took her by the arm, and pulled her inside her office, kicking the door shut. The lights were out, and she could barely make out the shape of her desk and the chairs.

"John, what--" Devon began, her brows drawn together in a frown that melted away as he suddenly leaned forward and covered her lips with his own. All thoughts of the parents faces, Taggert, Uly, the Terrians, chased away by the warmth that flooded her from head to foot.

Her eyes went wide, and then she relaxed against him, felt his hands moving on her shoulders, reaching up to trace the line of her jaw with one callused thumb. She felt the muscles of his arm move beneath her hand as he sought to hold her even closer, and she was breathless with it. Consumed by it, the sheer humanness of it, the emotions coursing through her, the warmth that flooded her cheeks, every inch of her as she arched against him, feeling the heat of his arms through the material of her shirt, his hand at the small of her back. His lips moving against hers. He held her as if he never meant to let her go, and she didn't think she ever wanted him to.

"What was that for?" she asked as he pulled away, and in the semi-darkness she could see his smile.

"You looked like you needed it."
"Oh really?" She shook her hair from her eyes, the corner of her mouth twitching in a halfsmile. "Tell me, this look. Do I get it often?"

"Every once in a while, yeah." Danziger nodded, as if he had given this particular matter a great deal of thought, which she wouldn't actually put past him.

"And you just felt like acting on it all of a sudden?" she prompted, schooling her features into something that vaguely resembled seriousness.

"It seemed like the right time."
"Did it?" she asked, and Danziger felt the first seed of doubt sprout where he had felt only certainty a moment before. He let her go, and held up his hands.

"Look, if I overstepped my bounds--" "John, you idiot." Devon got up on her tiptoes, and it was his turn to be surprised as she returned the favour. She twined her fingers in his hair, wondering why she hadn't thought of this sooner.

Actually, she had.
But that was neither here not there. "So, now I'm an idiot?" Danziger chucked as they parted, and she could feel his breath warm on her cheek. She rested her forehead against his chin, and he reached out and felt her smile with tentative fingers. She captured his hand, and turning her head, pressing a kiss into the palm.

"John..." she whispered softly, so softly that he almost wouldn't have believed she had made the sound at all had he not seen her lips move as she formed the name. He brushed loose strands of hair from her cheek, left his hand there to caress her, feel the lips move beneath his hand. She sighed at his lips on her neck, her eyes, her temple and laughed softly, touching his forehead, running a finger along his jaw. "Maybe I am. Two years is a long time."

"Think of it as one hell of a thorough courtship." He hugged her, and his jacket swallowed her laughter. Suddenly the door burst open and Morgan fell into the room. Devon and Danziger flew apart, but the lawyer didn't seem to notice. His dark hair was loose from its clasp and his eyes were wild.

"Devon, I think you'd better get down to the 'Grendler." "Wha--The Grendler? Morgan, what are you talking about?" "It's not good."

No one was quite sure how it started. An irate father and a worried mother colliding, chairs scraping the floor as they rose, perhaps. In any case, whispered conversations became shouted arguments, fear and helplessness and anger at the situation turned to anger at the person next to you, and suddenly crockery was flying.

And G889 couldn't afford to break crockery. It wasn't like more could just be requisitioned from stores. Walman jumped over the bar, and separated the nearest combatants, Yale set to work trying to calm two screaming mother's in the corner.

Jack pushed Miko back near the wall, and dodged a cup that would have connected with his head. Miko snatched it from the air and set it down on the bar without thinking, and scooted back farther.

Devon burst into the room, and Danziger shielded her as a table overturned, beer and water slipping across the floor from fallen cups.

"What is going on here?" she demanded, and the room fell silent.

Devon surveyed the damage; broken chairs and plates, and the bruises that would turn green and purple by morning. "What is wrong with you people? Your children are out there, needing your support and understanding, and you are turning on each other?"

"How do we know that? How do we know that they're ever coming back?" Dorothy Leahy stood up, the sleeve of her jacket damp with spilled drink. "We're just expected to--to sit here and wait, while God knows what is happening to our kids? To my Jenny?"

"And my Mark," a father called from the middle of the floor, where he leaned on his brother's shoulder, rubbing at his jaw where someone else's fist had connected.

"Yes. As a matter of fact, you are." Devon squared her shoulders. "This is no way of dealing with things."

"You're all fools," Jack Christenson said from where he stood behind the bar, and he stepped forward, brushing off Miko's arm. "My God, if Sasha... if Sasha had made it, I would have sold my *soul* to give her the chance you are all squabbling over now. Those kids have been through a hell of a lot, more than just one night's waiting. They've watched their friends die, they've watched their families turn away, not able to... understand, not strong enough to accept what was going on. They've waited their whole lives, why the hell can't you all give them eight stupid hours of understanding now? Eight hours! That's it. Can't you manage that? Jesus, you people make me sick!" Jack pushed past the parents, their mouths open and gaping like hooked fish, to burst through the door into the night.

Miko ran after him, calling his name, and one by one, people began righting tables, mopping up spills, and murmuring apologies to their neighbours.

Devon felt a little shell-shocked herself, and sank into a chair. Danziger set the table in front of her on its legs, and dragged a chair next to her.

"That's some kid." Danziger jerked his head in the direction of the door through which Jack had just departed, and held open his arm. Devon scooted closer, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Yeah, and his father wants to take him back when the ship leaves."

"Maybe you can change his mind? A lot can happen in two days." "Don't I know it," Devon admitted, closing her eyes.

Bess pulled her shawl tighter around her, and put three carefully measured teaspoons of "coffee" into the filter. She had a feeling everyone was going to need some help staying up til the kids came back, and no one else was in the kitchen in the back of the Common.

Morgan opened the door, looking like something the cat had dragged in. When they had stumbled downstairs and saw the fight in progress, he had dropped Bess off in the main room while he ran upstairs to find Devon.

"Is everything okay now?"
"I didn't stick around to have my head smashed in by airborne glassware, dear. I'm sure Devon and Danziger will get it straightened out."

"John was with her?"
"Oh yes." Morgan nodded, pouring her a cup of the steaming liquid before rinsing out a mug for his own.

"Jack!" Miko struggled to keep up, her feet kicking up clumps of sand and she tore off across the beach after him. Her hair clung to her face, wet with spray by the time she finally reached him, kneeling in the surf, shivering.

"Dammit, leave me alone!" he snapped, pushing her hands away. The moons tipped the waves with silver, and she could see them reflected in his eyes. "Why do you always have to follow me around? You're like a damn puppy!"

"You're my friend. I care about you." "Well, I don't want you to care about me. Go away, Mike. Leave me alone."

"No."
"Don't give me that stubborn act, I just want to be alone. Okay? Alone. Don't worry, I'm not going to throw myself into the sea or anything half as melodramatic. I just want to be left alone. Do you think you can manage that?"

"You act like you're the only one who has lost someone," Miko said quietly, and Jack's head snapped up. "You don't get it, do you?"

"Get what?"
"You're not ever going to be alone. Because it's not just you. Your mom and dad lost their daughter, my mom and I lost Yoshi. Judith Warner, have you seen her? Michael was her world, and she's acting like it never happened. She doesn't even have anyone, you know Michael's dad ran out on them when he was first diagnosed. But she knows exactly what you feel, we all do.

"Don't you think I just wanna run off and cry? Beat my fists, tear at my hair? More than that. Have you ever wanted to *break* something? Rip something to shreds? Destroy something, or someone, just to make the pain go away? That's what happens to me alone in the dark. What does the dark hold for you, huh?"

"Just go away, Mike. Go away."
"Fine. Wallow. See if I care." Miko's eyes narrowed, and her hands balled into fists, but she walked away.

In the end, she just walked away.

"Taggert, they're going to heal him!" Alonzo couldn't believe what he was hearing.

The tribe continued to stand and wait, the leader trilling its confusion. Max looked up at it with fear, and buried his face in his father's shirt.

"No, I'll lose him. I can't bear that. I'd rather try the synthetics, I know they can work. I can't lose him, I can't."

Alonzo sighed in defeat, and slowly the Terrian lowered its hand, stepping back from the three humans. As one, the three Terrians let the ground swallow them, and the dreamplane changed once again, velvet darkness swallowing them.

Alonzo opened his eyes slowly, feeling like he'd been away a thousand years. Dawn was brightening the sky outside the window, and in the grey light, he could see Julia holding her diaglove over Taggert, frowning, as Vasquez dozed in an uncomfortable looking chair.

"He's gonna have one hell of a crick in his neck when he wakes up," Alonzo observed around a tongue that felt like it was coated with sandpaper. He reach up and his fingers closed around the glass of water that had suddenly and miraculously appeared in her hand.

"How did it go?" She pulled up a chair, looking over her shoulder at Taggert, who was still caught in the grip of the sedaderm.

"He wouldn't let them." Alonzo set the glass down on the table next to the bed, and ran his finger along the framed drawing Uly had done of his mother that she was so proud of.

"What?" Julia's voice rose and she glanced backwards, but the doctor and patient slept on, oblivious. "What?" she repeated at a whisper.

"He wouldn't let go, he wouldn't trust." "But Max... what about Max?"
"I don't know. We'll have to wait and see."

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