Yesterday's return by Maggie C

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Yesterday's Return (4/8)
by Maggie C

The sun rose and morning came. The group slowly awoke, one by one. Yale awoke early after a restless night. He did not get much sleep at all. He got up and quickly began to get ready to search for Devon and True.

For Alonzo, dawn brought yet another morning of waking in a cold sweat from the dream plaguing him. Julia came fully awake as Alonzo tried to calm his racing heartbeat.

"The same dream again," said Julia. It was not a question.

"Yeah, and I think they're getting stronger," Alonzo said, finally calming down somewhat.

"I've been thinking," Julia said. "Why don't you try contacting the Terrians about your dream?" Seeing that he was about to protest, she continued. "I know the dream doesn't have anything to do with them, but they might know something about it, more than you can remember. And it's still early. We won't begin searching for a while yet."

Alonzo agreed with that, and closed his eyes to contact the Terrians via the dreamplane. He reached out with his mind and found himself on a warped version of the dreamplane. Alonzo was bombarded by emotions. He couldn't understand it. The dreamplane was normally almost devoid of emotions. He surveyed the dreamplane and saw something that shocked him. "John?" Danziger stood in the distance, and as Alonzo moved closer to him, he could see that John was walking into a clearing with a dream form of Uly. Suddenly, both of them stopped dead in their tracks. Alonzo could make out the body of a dream True even from the distance he was standing. The scene triggered his memory and he finally recalled the dream that had been torturing him. "No!" he shouted, exiting the dreamplane. He took a few deep breaths and opened his eyes to see Julia hovering worriedly over him. "I have good news and bad news," he said, sitting up. "The good news is that I think I know why John's unconscious." He took another deep breath. "The bad news is... I don't have a clue what to do about it."

The group was getting ready to start searching when Julia and Alonzo came up. "We're not going to go," Julia said. This surprised everyone, until Alonzo explained that Danziger was trapped on the dreamplane. Since Uly was still in his tent, Alonzo also summarized the dream that John was living while he was trapped there. The reactions to this were varied. Most were shocked, and a few people looked sick. Yale looked especially concerned.

"Someone needed to stay behind with Uly anyway. Alonzo's going to try and see if he can bring John off the dreamplane," Julia said.

"Yeah, so you guys better get going," Alonzo said with a grin, trying to lighten the mood. "Because if Devon and True are still missing when he wakes up, he's going to be mad."

A worried look was still evident on Yale's face. Julia, who was standing next to him, tried to reassure him. "Yale, I'm sure they just got turned around. Neither of them were exactly watching what direction they were going in when they left."

Yale nodded, but he still wasn't convinced. He had a bad feeling that something horrible had happened to both of them. "I explained to Uly what happened this morning."

"Okay. I'll tell him what's going on with John. Don't worry," she said, seeing Yale was about to interrupt. "I'm not going to tell him what John's dreaming about unless it's absolutely necessary." Yale thanked her and then left to get his gear.

Bess was making sure she had all her gear. Morgan came up to her with a worried look on his face. Bess sighed. She knew what was coming, and anticipated his question. "No, Morgan, I'm not staying in camp. I want to help search." She had thought that she made her point to him last night, when they argued over whether or not Bess would accompany the search parties.

"Bess, honey, we don't even know what's out there. I just don't want anything to happen to you or the baby." Morgan was always worried that something would happen to Bess, and now, with her being pregnant (maybe), he was twice as worried.

"Morgan, I'm going," Bess stated firmly. She gave in a little when she saw the look on his face. "Look, I promise, nothing's going to happen. We can even come back early, alright?" Morgan still looked dissatisfied, but he agreed nonetheless.

Last minute plans were exchanged, and gear sets were checked. Then the search began. Julia and Alonzo watched them go with Uly, who had come out to wish everyone luck. Julia looked at Alonzo. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah, let's get started," Alonzo said, and led the way to the med tent.

Uly was lost in his thoughts, and almost didn't hear this exchange. Although he tried not to show it, he was really scared. John was hurt, and now Mom and True were missing. Yale said that they were just lost, but Yale was too worried for it to be that simple. Uly hurried to follow Julia and Alonzo and looked from one to the other in confusion. "What's going on?" he asked.

The three of them entered the med tent. Alonzo faced Uly. "I've been having dreams lately. I couldn't remember them, but I knew they were important, so I tried to contact the Terrians this morning to see if they knew what it was about. There were no Terrians on the dreamplane, but I did see John there."

Uly stared at Danziger's prone form, and then at Alonzo. "He's on the dreamplane? But then why doesn't he just come off of it?" Uly asked in confusion.

Julia answered him. "He doesn't know he's on the dreamplane, Uly. He thinks that what he's seeing is real."

"How come?" Uly asked.

"We don't know, champ. I'm going to see if I can get Danz to remember what's real," Alonzo said.

"I can go with you," Uly said eagerly. He wanted to help somehow.

"No, I don't think so," Alonzo said quickly. He glanced at Julia. They both wanted to keep Uly from finding out what John was dreaming. Uly's face fell and Alonzo felt a stab of guilt. "Hey Uly, this will be a piece of cake. I bet I can get John off in less than five minutes. Time me, okay?" He ruffled Uly's hair. He looked to Julia. "Okay, here I go." Alonzo reached out to the dreamplane.

Danziger stood silently in front of the two new graves. He stared at the marker at the head of the smaller pile of earth. The marker inscribed with the name, 'True Danziger'. ~My daughter is dead,~ he thought, without emotion. Then the words sunk in. ~Oh my God, she's dead.~ He dropped to his knees and covered his face with his hands while the tears flowed freely down his cheeks. His daughter was gone. She was his whole world, his reason for living, and she was gone. He only had ten short years with her. Ten years of watching her grow from a beautiful baby, to a courageous toddler, to an inquisitive, intelligent, and stubborn little girl. Ten years. It wasn't long enough, dammit! He wouldn't be able to watch her become a woman, give her away in marriage, or see her become a mother. She had wanted to see the ocean. Another thing she would never do. She was gone, ripped away from him, forever. "Take care of her, Devon," he whispered, the flood of tears abating as he looked over to the other grave. History seemed to be repeating itself. When Elle had died, he had gained True. Now Devon and True were both dead, and he had inherited a son, Uly. "I promise you I'll take good care of him." Another stab of pain and grief assaulted him. Devon had never even known how he felt. If only he had realized his feelings sooner! The Elder, who had known him for so short a time, had seen it. "You're in love with her," he had said. John realized he was referring to Devon, but he dismissed the notion as crazy. ~Me, in love with Devon Adair,~ he had thought. ~Yeah right.~ But the moment Devon had collapsed, he knew the Elder was right. He had fallen completely in love with her, and fallen hard. And now it was too late. He would never see her smile again, the one that lit up her whole face. He would never even argue with her again. Then again, maybe it was better this way. What chance did he have with Devon Adair? She could never see anything in him. He was just a drone to her, a mechanic. "I hate to admit how much I've come to depend on that man. Maybe even more than that." Devon's own words danced across his memory, taunting him. ~Now I'll never know,~ he thought. ~She's dead, they're both dead, and I'll never see them again.~ "Oh God, what am I going to do without them?" he whispered, tears flowing down his cheeks. He couldn't imagine living without them, going through each day and never seeing True's face light up in wonder again, never again seeing Devon's eyes flash with determination. "I can't do it. I can't go on without them." But even as he said it, he knew it wasn't really true. He would go on, for Uly's sake. Somehow, he would go on, and he would get the group to New Pacifica. He would make sure he was there to welcome those colonists. But for now, he just knelt, staring at the graves of two people that he loved deeply, and he grieved in silence.

Alonzo appeared on the dreamplane. The same torrent of emotions greeted him again, but this time he was prepared for the immense feelings of pain and loss. He looked around and saw that the dream was in its final scene. The dream cycle would start over again soon. He went over to John, still kneeling by the two graves. He made his presence known, and Danziger whirled around and shot him an angry glare. "I thought I said that I wanted to be alone," Danziger snapped.

"John, I'm sorry, but you need to know something," Alonzo said. "You're on the dreamplane. None of this is real. They're still alive. Both True and Devon are fine." He just stared at Alonzo in shock. "Look, Devon recovered and you two realized your feelings for each other. You got married." John started to shake his head. "You've been stuck reliving this nightmare over and over again. You've got to believe me. Everyone's been worried sick about you, especially Devon and True."

"Alonzo, why are you doing this?" John looked at his friend in shock and blinked back tears from his eyes. "They're dead, there's nothing anyone can do to change that. No," he said angrily, cutting off Alonzo's protests. "I don't know why you're doing this, I have to accept that they're gone. I thought we were friends!" he yelled, rising to his feet.

Alonzo was surprised. He thought that Danziger would believe him. He didn't know what to do, how to convince him this was only a nightmare, and then it came to him. He would just pull John off the dreamplane. Then Danziger would see that Alonzo was telling the truth and he would remember what happened to him. He went up to John and grabbed his arm. Alonzo closed his eyes and tried to push John off the dreamplane. To his surprise, it didn't work. Something, or someone, was keeping John here on the dreamplane.

Danziger angrily shrugged off Alonzo's hand. "Go away! Just leave me alone!" He yelled, shoving Alonzo back. "Stay away from me!" He shoved Alonzo again. Alonzo realized that there was no way Danziger would listen to him now. He would have to go back and try to think of some way to make John see the truth. He closed his eyes again and exited the dreamplane. He opened his eyes to see Julia and Uly looking at him expectantly. Alonzo took a deep breath before speaking. "We ran into a slight problem. He doesn't believe me, and something is keeping him on the dreamplane."

"What do you mean, he doesn't believe you?" Julia asked.

"I told him the truth, and he doesn't believe me," Alonzo replied. "And I don't think I should try to convince him again. He would not be happy to see me."

"Well, what do we do? Who do you think could persuade him?" Julia asked him, troubled. They had to find a way to make John see the truth, otherwise...

"I don't know," Alonzo answered. "Seeing Devon or True would convince him, but that really doesn't help us much."

"What do you mean? Why would seeing True or my mom convince John that he was on the dreamplane?" Uly's voice broke into their discussion. Both Alonzo and Julia turned to look at him. Alonzo got an idea and looked back to Julia. Julia saw the look on his face and started to protest even before Alonzo spoke. "No, Alonzo, no. We can't."

"Julia, he's the only other person who can function on the dreamplane. And the only one who has even a chance of convincing John. We have to try." Alonzo reasoned with her.

Uly realized they were talking about him, and spoke up. "I could help. I know I could." He went to Julia and looked up at her, pleading with her. "Please, I want to try."

Julia looked from Uly to Alonzo and knew she was beaten. She nodded her agreement.

Alonzo took a deep breath and turned to Uly. "Okay, champ, I have to tell you what John's been dreaming. It's pretty bad. You remember when your mom was sick? And how she got better?" Uly nodded. "Well, John's dreaming that your mom never got better, that someone killed her and True."

Uly went pale at this. ~I remember!~ The images of the dream flooded his memory.

Alonzo saw Uly turn pale and watched as the boy started to shake. ~Oh no,~ Alonzo thought, ~Uly's been having the dream too! This is not good.~ "Uly, don't worry, it's only a dream. Your mom and True are fine. They're just lost, that's all," Alonzo tried to reassure him. He looked worriedly to Julia. It hadn't occurred to either of them that Uly might have been receiving the dreams too. It should have though, Uly was as much in tune with the Terrians and the dreamplane as Alonzo was.

Uly nodded, ~It's only a dream, it's not real,~ he repeated to himself. He swallowed and asked, "What should I do?"

Alonzo smiled at him. The kid was tough. Alonzo could see that he was still scared, but Uly wasn't letting that fear paralyze him. "Well, I told you that someone has him stuck on the dreamplane, so you won't be able to get him off." Uly nodded, accepting this, even though he couldn't understand how anyone could trap someone on the dreamplane. "What you have to do is show him what really happened. Make him remember the truth. Do you think you can do that?"

Uly nodded. "Are you going to come with me?" he asked uncertainly.

Alonzo shook his head. "I can't, Uly. If John sees me again, he'll get mad. He thinks I'm trying to trick him, to hurt him. You have to do this yourself." Uly nodded. "Okay, you can do this. Are you ready?"

"I think so," Uly replied. Actually, he was terrified. What if John didn't believe him either? But he had to try. He looked worriedly at Julia, who gave him a reassuring smile.

She led him over to a cot. As he settled down on it, Julia said, "Don't worry, Uly. John will believe you. But if you run into any problems, come off the dreamplane, okay? We'll find another way to get John off." He nodded, closed his eyes, and entered the dreamplane.

After Uly entered the dreamplane, Julia heaved a sigh and looked to Alonzo worriedly. "I hope we did the right thing," she said, looking back to Uly. Alonzo came up behind her and laid his hands on her shoulders. He also looked down at the small boy who, at the moment, had the best and only chance of releasing John Danziger from the nightmare he was living.

"Me too, Doc. Me too."

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