Danzinger's ghost by Katherine Tate

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Danziger's Ghost, Part 3
by Katherine Tate

As Bess slipped into the dream she found herself walking around the campsite. Where was everyone? For no particular reason, that she knew of anyway, she felt drawn towards one of the tents. Entering with caution she found Danziger sitting on one of the cots holding True's torn pants. There were two large holes, one in each knee. So large that Danziger was able to put his fingers easily through them.

"What am I gonna do with these?" he asked. He didn't look at her; he was still examining the holes.

Bess was silent. She wasn't sure whether or not he was talking to her, or to himself.

"I need patches." he muttered. "Where am I gonna get something for patches?"

"I could give you a hand." Bess offered warily. Considering his reaction when she offered before, she wasn't sure how he was going to take this. Now he looked at her, sadly.

"She doesn't have much. I'm not able to give her very much."

Bess moved forward and sat beside him on the cot.

"How can you say that?" she asked him. "You gave her everything." Bess took his hand.

"You think so?" he sounded doubtful. Then he smiled a smile that touched his eyes. "She means everything to me."

Bess took the pants from him. Now that she could look at them close up she could see that he was right. Patches were necessary.

"I can fix these for her. Don't worry. I'll take care of it."

When Bess awoke she immediately thought of getting True's pants so that she could patch them. She felt as though she had made a promise to Danziger, even if it had happened in a dream. It wasn't until later in the day that she realized what it was that unsettled her about the dream. He had used the present tense; she had used the past.

Morgan found himself sitting around a dying fire. He was alone. He was frightened. He was dreaming.

"Bbbess? Where are you?" Morgan stood and looked around. Outside the feeble light of the fire it looked very dark. Morgan couldn't shake his fear. He told himself that he was being irrational, paranoid, childish even. It didn't help. He was trembling.

"What's the matter, Morgan? Danziger asked, lazily.

Whirling around so quickly he fell over, Morgan could see Danziger sitting by the fire. Morgan scrambled up and plunked himself down opposite the mechanic, who looked as though he might launch into another of his creepy ghost stories.

"Wwwhat are you doing here?" Morgan asked, hoping his voice was more steady than his hands. "You're supposed to be dead."

"So what?" was Danziger's uninterested response.

Morgan didn't know John Danziger very well. They were not what one might call pals. Even when Danziger was alive, Morgan had been a little afraid of him. He had this feeling sometimes that Danziger was just waiting for an appropriate time to take revenge for Morgan's premature launching of the escape pod. However, he figured he knew John well enough to anticipate Danziger's scowl of disgust at Morgan's present state of fear. So Morgan was very surprised when Danziger smiled a happy grin and regarded Morgan curiously.

"What's wrong, Morgan?" he asked again.

"I'm sorry if I'm just not used to speaking with people who are dead." Morgan spluttered out. He was confused by Danziger's behaviour. It seemed a little out of character.

"Do you want me to tell you a story?"

Now Morgan drew himself up with his last shreads of dignity. That was why Danziger was acting so strangely. He was making fun of him.

"No!" Morgan snapped. "I do not."

Danziger looked hurt and surprised. He didn't say anything, but went back to regarding Morgan, as though he'd never seen the man before. For his part, Morgan felt like any more of this was going to give him a cardiac arrest. He stood up his knees shaking.

"I'm going to . . . " He was about to say 'look for Bess', but he was interrupted by a shout from behind.

"Morgan! Morgan!"

Out of the shadows creating by the last flames of the fire Morgan could see another figure running towards them. He didn't really need to see clearly because he recognized that voice. He would never forget that voice. It was Danziger.

"Morgan, you have to listen to me!" John was closer now, out of breath from his sprint.

Morgan's eyes flipped back and forth between the two of them. One sitting calmly, smiling and the other looking ragged, worried. Neither of them should be here at all. Both of them were supposed to be dead. And another thing, there shouldn't even be two of them.

"What is going on here?" Morgan asked, holding out a shaking arm in an attempt to prevent the new Danziger from coming any closer. He cast a glance at the seated one, just to make sure he wasn't making any quick moves.

"Morgan! Please! Listen to me." Danziger begged.

"Who are you?" asked Morgan, taking a step back. Danziger looked amazed.

"You know who I am." he said. "C'mon, it's me. It's Danziger!" He stepped closer to the fire.

"Then who is he?" asked Morgan, pointing at the other figure, still seated. Danziger didn't even waste time glancing down.

"That's not important. Listen, Morgan, you have to stop moving."

Morgan gave an hysterical laugh.

"I'm not going anywhere." he said. His feet were cemented to the ground.

"No, I mean the group. You have to get her to stop the group moving."

Morgan didn't need to ask to whom Danziger was referring. There was only one woman driving this caravan and Morgan didn't think he had a hope in Hell of stopping her either.

"Why?"

"I can't find you unless you stop." Danziger spoke slowly. He recognized that Morgan was very confused and extremely frightened and for once he shared these feelings with the politician.

"You're dead." Morgan said shakily. "You're not supposed to find us. I'd prefer it if you didn't really. And anyway," he babbled, "we're not going very fast these days as the TransRover isn't starting and they don't know how to fix it so we're just waiting around and I guess they could really use your help to get it going again except . . . except YOU'RE DEAD and I'm not supposed to be talking to DEAD PEOPLE even in my dreams." Morgan stopped, out of breath.

"No, Morgan. I'm not dead. Please! Please believe me. I'm not dead. Please, you have to stop moving. Please." Danziger moved closer and gripped Morgan by the shoulders, hard. He shook him. Morgan was amazed that Danziger could be so solid; his hands felt so strong.

"Don't touch me! Ahhh! Let go of me!" Morgan cried out, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Morgan, Morgan . . . " Danziger called.

"Morgan! Wake up!" It was Bess and she was shaking him.

"Shh, honey. It's just a bad dream." she said soothingly. She managed to slip back to sleep easily but Morgan remained wide awake for a long time thinking about his dream and what it might mean. He could still feel Danziger's hands on his arms, shaking him. He could still hear the desperation in Danziger's voice. He was still afraid.

Devon sat in the middle of chaos not really caring if they ever shut up. She kept waiting for Danziger to bellow "Take it easy!" or more appropriately "Shut up!" so that she would be able to hear herself think. Of course, he didn't. He couldn't because he wasn't here. Because John's dead now, she told herself.

Yale took it upon himself to try to calm the group, when it appeared Devon was not going to say anything.

"People! Please, one at a time so that we can all hear each other." The din subsided somewhat.

"Well, I can't fix it." Walman declared, challengingly. He'd spent an entire day looking for the answer. Baines just shrugged.

"I haven't a clue what's wrong." Cameron added glumly. The chaos erupted again. Yale held up his hands.

"If we can't fix it," Alonzo said over the noise, quieting them all, "then we're going to have to leave it behind." Julia gasped.

"But . . ." she started before everyone began to talk at once.

"*Leave it behind*! Are you nuts?!" Morgan cried. "Do you know how much equipment that thing carries? How are we supposed to carry all of that stuff?"

"Some of those medical crates are very heavy." Julia said. "And they are essential."

"What about the tents?" asked Bess. "How can we carry the tents?"

Walman took all this to be an attack on his abilities and began blustering about not being an expert on useless broken down machines. " . . .not like Danziger!" was all the Devon heard. She still remained silent. Everything was falling apart.

"Wait a sec! Hold on!" Julia stood up to make her voice carry. "What about True?" She had their attention.

"What about True?" asked Morgan. "What has she got to do with this?" Julia stared at him coldly.

"True is a pretty good mechanic. She used to help John all the time with those vehicles. Maybe she knows what's wrong." Walman and Baines looked as skeptical as Morgan, but Bess took up Julia's lead.

"I bet she does too! And even if she doesn't know how to fix it; just showing you guys the problem may get you on your way to a solution!"

"Julia," Yale asked, "Where is True?" Julia glanced out of the tent flap towards the rock on which True had been sitting motionless for hours.

"I'll go talk to her." she offered. "It will be good for her to have something to do."

This much even Walman could concede.

Long after the group meeting had dispersed and Julia had gone to talk to True, Devon remained seated staring off into space. It was like a barrier had been broken and all the feelings she'd been holding in came pouring out in a flood. Wiping her eyes she only succeeded in wetting her face with her tears.

"Devon." Yale's voice came from behind her, "I was wondering when you were going to decide to grieve."

"Decide?" Devon gave a little laugh, but it came out like a sob. "Is that what you think?"

"I think it's high time you stopped being strong for everyone else and gave yourself time to acknowledge your loss."

"Yes." Devon agreed. "My loss." she repeated. She was surprised to find her hands were trembling. "Oh Yale! Everything is coming apart at the seams." The expression reminded her of sewing and Danziger 'fixing' True's shirt. She began to cry harder. Yale moved forward and put his hands on her shoulders. She leaned back on him. "John ... he was ... he was ..."

"The most annoying person you had ever met?" supplied Yale, with a sad smile. Devon shook her head.

"He was the glue that held us together. Not me. Him."

"Devon . . ." Yale chided. "That is not true. You are the leader of this group. You are . . ."

"Not the one who can fix the TransRover." Devon interrupted him. "I'm not the one who can make True smile. I'm not the one who can get people working efficiently. I'm not the one who carries the medical crates and pounds in the tent stakes and keeps the water condenser at peak efficiency and finds the routes that the vehicles can take; I'm not the one who tells stories or jokes around the fire or checks the perimeter after everyone else is asleep. I'm not the one who tells me that all my ideals are crazy, that I'm crazy..."

"John did do those things." Yale admitted. "But you are the one who motivated people to make this journey. You are the one who brought us here. He was a pessimist, a cynic, a skeptic."

"He kept me on my toes." whispered Devon, "He challenged me. He kept my goals within reach. He told me once that we were going to make it. He said to me, 'It won't be so bad, getting there.' Now, I'm not sure anymore. I'm not sure of anything anymore." Devon sighed, "I miss him so much. So very much." There she'd admitted it. She'd said it out loud.

"All of his responsibilities will fall onto the shoulders of others now. And some day, you will be the one to make True smile."

Through blurry eyes Devon looked at True and Julia talking. John's daughter was now under her care. How could she *ever* expect to fill his role in that little girl's life?

True reluctantly agreed to look at the TransRover; only after Julia made it painfully clear that unless the problem solved, or at least identified, then this was as far as the vehicle was going.

She approached it cautiously. No one else was around as everyone had decided to give her some space. True could almost see her Dad working on the engine. And she would sit here and watch and hand him tools. He would always explain what he was doing. Sometimes he'd even ask for her opinion and smile proudly when she said something right. Working on the vehicles was something they'd done together. To do it alone now was publicly admitting that he was gone for good. This was something True had not yet accepted. Every night he crept into her dreams, calling out for her, needing her in some way. True was not ready to abandon him yet.

But she didn't want to have to carry her tent either. True was a smart and practical girl.

Frowning in concentration, she began her search.

By the time Julia came to tell her that True had been as unsuccessful as Walman, Baines, Cameron and Magus, Devon had regained her composure. Julia did sense a change in Devon; she seemed resigned to the bad news even before receiving it. Devon tossed around some options in her mind but she was coming to the same conclusion as Alonzo. They were going to have to leave the TransRover behind.

Danziger had lost the trail of the Eden project. He would not have previously thought it possible for that group, with three vehicles, to move without leaving any trace behind. But somehow they'd managed to evade him.

He was heading in what he hoped was a westerly direction; in what he hoped was the general direction of the group. He was feeling somewhat fatalistic. If he was already dead, well then it didn't make much difference one way or another.

True and the others still haunted his dreams which made sleep difficult and not very restful. Even when he tried to communicate with them, he knew it wasn't working. He had no control over the dreams. Except for the dream with Morgan, who hadn't believed him anyway, John had not been able to get across the idea that he wasn't really dead.

This night, he tried to rest sitting up against a fallen tree hoping that he could avoid sleep. However, it soon overpowered him and with the sleep came another dream.

He was standing in the camp. True was on top of the TransRover. Listlessly she passed a wrench from hand to hand. She was lost in thought. There was no one else around. It was eerily quiet.

"What's the matter True?" he asked up at her. She shook her head. She didn't look at him.

"I can't help them. I can't find the problem." Danziger wanted to climb up there with her, but he didn't seem to have the energy. Instead he walked around to the other side where he could get a better look at her. She looked very unhappy, and very frustrated. This was the closest he'd gotten to her without her disappearing.

"What's the problem?" he asked.

"Won't start." she said, shortly, turning to face him. Then, unexpectedly she threw the wrench at him. "This is YOUR fault!" she screamed. "You should be here to help us!!" This was similar to what Morgan had told him last night.

Danziger easily dodged the wrench which landed by his feet. The sound of the tool hitting the ground was extraordinarily loud in the stillness. He looked at it for a moment and then raised his eyes to meet True's. He had to concentrate.

"I'm here now True." he said calmly.

True awoke early, suddenly. She was the only one awake. Creeping quietly out of the tent she went to her father's tools and grabbed a few. She also grabbed a light. Swiftly, she scrambled on top of the TransRover and squirmed over to the front area, just behind the solar panels. She worked quietly and slowly for several minutes. Then she sat back and stared at what she'd discovered with parts of fear and awe.

"Giving it another go?" asked Julia, shielding her eyes from the sun as she peered up at True. For a moment she thought maybe the girl hadn't heard her but then True turned to her with the strangest expression.

"He was right." True breathed.

"Who?"

"Dad." Julia stiffened.

"What do you mean?" True pushed herself to the edge and hopped easily down beside Julia.

"Dad showed me how to fix the problem. And he was right!"

"You mean, you remembered something he taught you?" Now True fixed Julia with one of those 'Adults can be so stupid' looks that used to be a common feature of her face.

"No." she said slowly as though explaining to a child. "He showed me how to fix it. Last night, in a dream. He was here. He stood right there." True pointed to the spot where Danziger had stood. "He talked me through it. He said I'd need to get Walman or Baines to tighten the screws around the inside of the second panel, because they tend to leak and then the connection is lost. You can't see it from the outside; you have to open it up. That's why we missed it.
Dad knew because he's been tightening them the whole time."

Julia's eyes went from the spot where Danziger supposedly stood, up to the second panel. She was still skeptical.

"True, are you sure that it wasn't just something that you remembered seeing your Dad fix?"

"I never saw him fix that." True stated flatly. "He never showed it to me, 'cos I'm not strong enough to tighten the bolts. I don't know why he didn't show the others."

"Probably he didn't expect to die." Julia said without thinking. Then she stiffened. 'Very sensitive, Dr. Heller' she told herself. True's eyes had narrowed to slits. Her response was not was Julia anticipated.

"He's not dead." In her peripheral vision, Julia saw Devon approaching them. Others were awake and moving around now.

"True . . ." Julia began.

"No, don't you True me." True said with more spark than she'd shown since the day of the earthquake. "He speaks to me in my dreams. He spoke to me last night. He told me how to fix the TransRover. He told me he is OK. He told me he is not dead. He's . . . he's . . . lost somewhere."

Devon's eyes questioned Julia. Julia was at a loss. Obviously True's denial was more deeply rooted than they had thought.

"What do you mean? Danziger told her how to fix it in a dream? That's impossible!" Morgan was talking to Bess as she sewed the patches on the knees of True's pants. She'd had a hard time getting them away from True to patch them. True wasn't used to having anyone but her Dad look after her.

"Impossible or not, that's what she believes." Bess said calmly. "And she was able to find the problem. After Walman tightened the screws, the thing started up immediately." Morgan began to pace, muttering to himself. He couldn't stop thinking about his dream. He had told Danziger they needed his help to fix the vehicle. And Danziger had told him that he wasn't really dead. That message had been disturbingly clear.

"What do you believe?" he finally asked Bess, referring to True's ability to fix the TransRover. Bess tied a knot in the thread and bit it off.

"I believe that we can't prejudge this planet based on our knowledge of Earth and the stations. Things don't happen the same way here. Don't forget, we all thought Commander O'Neill was dead too." Morgan thought somberly about that experience. He too had been struck by a Koba claw.

"True, " Devon said patiently, "I want to believe he's alive as much as you do. Really. But I can't help remembering his body. We buried the body of a dead man."

"It wasn't him." True said shortly. Devon sighed. They'd been going in circles now for too long. True wanted to go back and look for Danziger. She refused to believe that he was really dead. She kept using her dreams and the knowledge gained in them as proof of his being alive.

"Who was it then?" Devon asked.

"I don't know. That's not important. But it wasn't him." True thought carefully. "He was acting really weird in the cave. He should have been mad at me, but he wasn't. It was very strange. I don't think it was really him anymore." The stubbornness that True was demonstrating now was alarmingly similar to Danziger at his most infuriating. Devon strived to keep her temper in control; Danziger had been a man, True was only a child. She looked to Julia for help.

"What if we go back and all that's there is the grave?" Julia asked. True lifted her eyes up to the doctor.

"He will be there." she said with total certainty. Julia's eyes spoke to Devon's. Defeat. Devon stood up. She was feeling tired. This had to end.

"We're not going back." she said firmly. "We are going forward."

If True could have wielded resentment like a sword Devon would have been cut in two on the spot. But she held her tongue. Devon would soon regret her lack of faith, True thought.

End Part 3

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