Storm by Maggie C

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Danziger awoke slowly, not wanting to drag himself away from the wonderful feeling of a good night's sleep. //How could I get a good night's sleep in the middle of nowhere with no fire or blankets?// he wondered sleepily to himself. He opened his eyes and saw the reason still sleeping peacefully in his arms. Deciding to let Devon sleep for a while longer, and not believing for a second that his motive was for Devon's comfort, John continued to hold Devon and let his mind wander. He thought about the beautiful woman he was holding in his arms. He shouldn't be memorizing the feel of her nestled against him, he shouldn't be committing her unique scent to memory, shouldn't be enjoying holding her like this. But John was doing all of those things. He should feel awkward, waking up with her in his arms for the first time. But holding her felt so right. Devon snuggled closer to him in her sleep and he was surprised when he finally recognized the sense of... completeness that holding Devon in his arms brought with it. John finally cut off his thoughts and buried them down in the corner of his mind where he kept all of his dangerous feelings for Devon confined. He gently disentangled himself from Devon and moved away before he could find another reason to keep holding her.

Devon blinked her eyes open, wondering why she suddenly felt so cold. She sat up and saw John over by the river. Oh, right. Last night's events came back to her and she blushed as she remembered sleeping in John's arms. //Nothing happened!// she told herself, but still, she knew that wasn't really true. What happened last night was not simply one friend offering another shelter from the cold. Devon could never remember being held like that - with such a sense of being cared for and protected. It felt better than Devon would readily admit to anyone, especially herself.

After eating some breakfast, they were following the river again - the left branch this time. By late afternoon, they had begun to recognize the area that they had been scouting. They increased their pace and in about an hour, they found themselves back at their campsite. But the group had already left.

Danziger found the Transrover's tracks and was about to call Devon over when she brought his attention to where she was standing. He swore softly when he saw the two headstones there. It had been a week, they were expecting that the group had come to this conclusion, but John supposed that neither one of them had really accepted it. He looked up at Devon worriedly, and she met his gaze. "True..." he said.

Her thoughts mirrored his own. "Uly..." she answered back, her voice trailing off. Then she started walking quickly in the direction of the Transrover's tracks, and John had to hurry to catch her.

"Devon, where are you going?" he asked.

"We have to catch up to them," she said, not slowing down at all.

John grabbed her arm and whirled her around to face him. "Are you crazy, Adair?" he asked angrily. "It isn't safe to travel in the dark. And it's going to take a day or two to catch up to them. We have no way of carrying water or food for that trip." He glared at her, daring her to contradict him. "We are staying here for the night."

"The longer we wait, the farther we'll have to go to catch up to them," Devon shot back. "Every minute counts, Danziger," she said, and then started to turn away from him to start walking again.

Danziger held her by the shoulders and wouldn't let her go. "I'm not going to let you risk your life and mine just because you can't be patient!" His grip on her shoulders softened and he looked at her in understanding. "Devon, I want to get back to True and the others as much as you do. But can we do it carefully?" He paused, and then looked deep into her eyes. "Please?" he asked.

Devon was drawn in by his gaze. It held concern, for the group, and for her. She was drawn even deeper and she started to become frightened by the emotions she thought she saw there. If she wasn't careful, she would lose herself in his crystal-blue eyes. She looked away from the piercing gaze that seemed to go right to her soul and said quietly, "All right, we'll stay here tonight."

Danziger breathed an inward sigh of relief and dropped his hands from her shoulders, almost reluctantly. He didn't know why he got so worried when Devon insisted on doing something reckless, all he knew was that somewhere along the way, her safety had become as important to him as True's, more so even than his own. He tried not to think about those feelings, but sometimes that was nearly impossible to do.

Devon had turned away and was looking at the two headstones again. "We have to get rid of those things," she said.

"You'll get no argument from me," Danziger replied. He looked to Devon, a smile appearing on his face. "Shall we?" he said.

Devon slowly returned his smile. "We shall," she replied.

They worked to remove the headstones (which were actually carved from wood) from where they were rooted in the ground. After some discussion, they decided to throw them in the river. They each carried their own headstones to the river. John threw his in right away, and after sinking slightly with a splash, it floated down the river. He waited for Devon's headstone to join his own floating down the river, and when he didn't see it, he looked back at her. Devon was staring down at her headstone, lightly running her fingers across her name. John went over to her and laid a hand on her shoulder. She met his eyes for half a second and then her gaze fell back to the piece of wood she held in her hands. John let his hand fall from her shoulder and gently took the headstone from her and threw it in the river. She watched him silently, offering no protest and no encouragement. When he came back to her side, Devon met his eyes and didn't speak for a long moment.

"I...I just..." Devon felt the tears well up in her eyes. She held them off by sheer force of will. "I'm sorry," she said, stepping away from John.

He stopped her by his hand on her arm. "Devon, what's wrong?" he asked. She shook her head, not looking at him.

"We should really get some sleep, we have another long day tomorrow" she said, trying half-heartedly to pull away from his gentle hold.

John wouldn't let her go. She was doing it again, pushing her feelings aside, not letting them out. "Devon, you can tell me," he said. She just shook her head 'no'. He turned her to face him. "Yes you can, Devon. You don't have to keep that optimistic mask you always try to wear on for me." He forced her to meet his eyes.

Devon looked in his eyes and that was it. She felt the first tears trickling down her face. "John, they think we're dead," she said quietly. "Uly, True, Yale,..."

"I know, Devon, I know," John said as her voice broke. Hesitating for a moment, he pulled her into his arms.

Devon didn't pull away from his embrace, but instead she clutched the edges of his jacket with her hands and buried her face against his chest. She felt John's arms around her, holding her securely in place. Devon leaned into him, letting someone be strong for her for a change.

John held Devon as she cried silently in his arms. He hated to see her like this, but a part of him was secretly pleased that she allowed herself to open up to him. John couldn't think of anything to say that would comfort her, so he just held her, and that seemed to be enough.

After a short while, Devon's tears subsided, but she still clung to John. She didn't want him to stop holding her. Devon lifted her head and looked into his eyes to thank him for understanding, but when she met his eyes she didn't need to speak. Devon looked into his eyes and saw a reflection of her own feelings there. She smiled slightly. Knowing she wasn't going through this alone made her feel better. And with John here, she was most certainly not alone. She reached up with one hand and barely brushed John's cheek. She felt the spark that arched between them at that contact and from his sharp intake of breath, she knew he felt it too. Devon let her hand drop from his cheek and before she could dissuade herself, she stretched up and tenderly brushed her lips across his.

John was stunned. //She kissed me,// he thought, his mind refusing to move past that point. He reacted on instinct when Devon brought her hands up to his shoulders and reached to kiss him again, sliding his hands down to her waist and lowering his head to meet her lips halfway. Their lips moved against each other and Devon's hands went to the back of John's neck and pulled him deeper into the kiss. After a few more seconds of shared passion, John's head finally caught up with the rest of him and called a halt to the proceedings. He tore his lips from hers and caught his breath.

"Devon, we...we can't," he said, avoiding her eyes.

She was also keeping her gaze turned away from him. "Why not?" she asked softly, once again ignoring her more sensible half.

John shook his head, terrified by all of the feelings she was stirring up in him, and the intensity of those feelings. "We can't," he repeated, more firmly, and he walked away, trying desperately to shove those feelings back down in their corner, where he was safe from them. He lay down in the clearing and waited. And waited. He almost went back to Devon to make sure she was alright, or to apologize, or *something*, but his fears got the best of him every time and he stayed where he was, looking up at the sky and waiting for Devon's return. John tried to push his feelings of guilt aside and firmly told himself, //It's better this way.// He closed his eyes, and somehow, he fell asleep before Devon came back.

John slept fitfully, waking up and dozing back off every so often. In the middle of the night, he woke up fully and looked over to see Devon lying on the other side of the clearing. He breathed a sigh of relief and then he saw her shiver when a cool wind swept through the clearing. He watched as she wrapped her arms tighter around herself in sleep, trying to ward off the cold. Warring with himself, after a moment John got up and, making sure Devon was asleep, he laid down beside her and took her in his arms, sharing his warmth. He drifted off to sleep listening to the even sound of her breathing, knowing he would probably regret this later.

For the second straight morning, John woke up to the enjoyable feeling of holding Devon in his arms. He suppressed the desire to bury his face in her hair and sighed. He was getting much too used to this. He didn't know if he would want to go back to sleeping alone every night when they caught up with the group. He laughed silently at himself. After even one night, he knew he didn't want to go back to sleeping alone. The events of last night clamored for attention in John's mind, but he ignored them. He stood up and hoped Devon hadn't noticed what he had done.

Devon woke up soon after he had moved away from her, and they went about finding ways to continue on their journey, businesslike, being painfully polite to each other. They made their jackets into a makeshift bag to hold a supply of food, and after searching for a time, they found a hollowed out piece of wood that would be easily carried and would store enough water for at least three days. Those details taken care of, they set out, following the Transrover's tracks at a quick pace.

They traveled in silence, speaking to each other only when necessary. Devon was lost in her thoughts. She was thinking about last night. How she had broken down in front of John, and how he had held her close. Then there was the *kiss*. It needed to be emphasized. Last night, Devon had finally let John in her heart. //Lord, that's corny,// she thought to herself, //but true, in a way. Actually, he's been there for a long time. I just finally realized how much he means to me.// But John himself was a big problem. //He pushed me away,// the thought whispered across her mind. In spite of everything she tried, that thought would not leave her alone. The thought that John didn't have any feelings for her in return absolutely terrified her. Devon tried not to jump to conclusions. She recalled that he had responded to the kiss quite enthusiastically before he pulled away. Devon reminded herself that she woke up in his arms in the very early hours of the morning. But despite all that, she couldn't shake the terrible feeling that John was just letting her down gently. Had she let him into her heart, only to discover that he didn't want to be there? Devon tried to push those thoughts out of her mind and concentrate on following the tracks of the Transrover, but her mind kept drifting back to John.

They made very good time, they passed the group's first campsite in early afternoon. Devon and John quickened their pace, hopeful that they would catch up with their children and the group very soon, but nightfall came and they were forced to stop for the night.

Deprived of their coats, the temperature drop this night was enough to ensure that neither of them would get any sleep. John fought with himself and sighed. He couldn't believe he was going to do this *again*. "Devon," he called, breaking the silence that had stretched between them. Silently he offered his arms as a shelter from the cold. She met his gaze and scooted over to him.

"We have to talk," she said as she laid her head against his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her.

"Later, after we get back to the group," John replied, wanting to avoid that conversation for as long as possible.

"John," Devon murmured in protest, but she was already drifting off to sleep encased in John's warm embrace.

"G'night, Devon," John said as he too succumbed to the exhaustion of traipsing across the continent in pursuit of their group.

Gear Log of Dr. Julia Heller, physician to Eden Project

"This isn't a medical entry. I'm not sure why I'm recording this, I only know I have to. It's been nine days since we lost track of Devon and John, and just three days since we've moved on. No one wanted to leave, everyone was holding on to the hope that they would come walking into camp like nothing was wrong. But it just wasn't going to happen. Alonzo found the mudslide near their last position. They must have fallen into the river, in the middle of that storm...even if they somehow survived the river, we searched along the bank further than the current could have possibly carried them. After the search teams returned, I...I told everyone we should move on, that there wa - wasn't any hope left..." ::pause:: "It wasn't a very popular opinion, but Alonzo, he supported me, and even Yale eventually agreed with us. We moved on. Goddess, Yale was heartbroken the day we placed the - markers - at our campsite. He got through about half the ceremony and then just...broke down. He wasn't sobbing, but he couldn't find his voice or the words through the tears flowing down his face. Everyone's taking it hard. Yes, we all know how short our lives can be on this planet, but for Devon and John to...for them both to... leave at the same time,...It's hard. I guess I've been elected the leader of the group now, although I can't say I want it. I don't have any talent for leading people; I'm just a doctor. I don't have the charisma that Devon or John did. But I have to do this, for their memories. And, oh goddess, the kids. They argued, cried, and pleaded for hours that we shouldn't leave, that if we waited just a few more days, maybe their parents would come back. But they're gone, both of their parents are...gone. It was understood that if something ever happened to either Devon or John, the other would take care of the child left behind, but now...how will we ever raise them the way John and Devon would have wanted them raised? *Who* will raise them? No one can reach them anymore. The kids are always together; neither will leave the other's side for long. It seems like Uly has latched onto Yale, but Yale says that he can't get Uly to talk to him. No one can reach them. True is very careful to keep everyone at arm's length, except for Bess, whom she keeps at several arm's lengths. I know Bess means well, but True is taking this very hard, harder even then Uly, I think. I just don't know how to help her, help them both through this. I suppose it doesn't help that the rest of us are still trying to come to terms with their . . . deaths" ::slight pause:: "It's just so unfair! John and Devon"

"Julia!" Alonzo's worried shout interrupted her recording. "There's some people coming our way!"

"What?" she asked, rushing to the back of the convoy where everyone was gathering. "Who is it?"

"We don't know," Alonzo said, concerned but not yet alarmed. "We can't make them out, Baines went to get a pair of jumpers."

They didn't have to wonder for very long, though. The two small dots on the horizon spotted the group and started running towards them. True watched the commotion from the back of the group with Uly, watching the two approaching figures without much interest. Until she thought she heard her name carried on the wind. True perked up and stared intently at the figures that were just now coming into focus. Then True jumped up and dashed out to meet them. Someone tried to catch her arm to stop her, but she shrugged them off. She ran for her father and threw herself in his arms. He hugged her close - it wasn't a dream. True wrapped her small arms around his neck, buried her face in his shoulder, and sobbed.

John was dimly aware of Devon hugging Uly close and the rest of the group surrounding them, but his focus was on his daughter, crying in his arms. "Shh, it's alright, True-girl," he whispered soothingly as she cried. "I'm here, don't worry, I'm here." John kissed the top of her head. "It's okay, True, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

"Promise?" John barely heard the small voice muffled against his shoulder.

"I promise, True-girl," he said, pulling back to smile at his daughter. She smiled back and John's smile reached his eyes. He kissed her forehead and stood up while the other people in the group welcomed him and Devon back.

John noticed that Julia, standing off to the side, looked a little pale. "Julia?" he questioned.

She looked from John to Devon and then back again. Julia swallowed and said quietly, "We left you behind. *I* left you behind. Devon, John, I am so sorry, I didn't know..."

"Julia," John interrupted, "you did the right thing," he said firmly. "There was no way you could have known that Devon and I were all right. The group had to move on."

"He's right, Julia," Devon said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I would have had to do the same thing."

Reassured by their words, Julia smiled at them. She hugged Devon to welcome her back and then did the same with John. "I am so glad you two are back," she said. "I don't know how you missed our searches, we couldn't find any trace of you along the river."

"Yeah, well," John said, sitting down and pulling True into his lap, "we got a little lost for a few days, following the branch of the river..."

"The branch that you couldn't have possibly been carried down by the river current." Julia finished, nodding her understanding. If they had only waited a little longer at the river, they wouldn't have left John and Devon behind. The feelings of guilt started to creep back.

"Julia," Devon warned, sensing the direction her thoughts were going in, "we're not going to let you blame yourself for this. We were not expecting to find the group waiting for us when we got back to the camp. You did the right thing."

"So what did happen?" Yale asked. Devon and John told their story, leaving out what happened at the riverside two nights ago, and somehow avoiding speaking directly to each other through the whole tale.

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