Do you know my shadow? by Lisa04

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Do You Know My Shadow? (6/17)
by Lisa 04

Folding the maps, Devon looked over to the other woman, "Thanks for your help Laura. I think you're right about the area to the south, it looks like it might be our most promising chance for a way out of here." "Now that the snow is melting, we should be able to get to that area and look for a pass for the vehicles," Magus returned. "How are things going?" Sheppard inquired, poking his head into the tent. "Great. Laura's found a promising area that the vehicles might fit through," Devon answered smiling. "We'll put together a scout team and head out first thing in the morning," Devon redirected her attention to the other member of Eden Advance.
"I'll let Danziger and Yale know," Magus nodded. "Do you want me to round up volunteers yet?"
"No, I think that can wait until tonight when we're all together, but do let Danziger know that we'll need the rail fully functional for the scout team. Though, I suspect he already has it up and running," Devon shook her head, smiling. "Sometimes I think he even talks to those things." "Yea, well you know Danziger. Those machines are his babies," Laura laughed in agreement, ducking out of the tent past Sheppard, not meeting his gaze. "Well, it sounds like you have things well under control," Sheppard said coming up behind Devon, placing his hands on her shoulders and squeezing gently. "Why don't we take a break?" Surprised by the contact, Devon unconsciously tensed.
"I think that's a good idea," she said, turning to smile at him, hoping he didn't notice her reaction.
Devon's response to his touch was not lost on Sheppard, though he decided now was not the time to press the issue. Leaving the tent, he guided her to the edge of camp and away from the ever watchful eyes of the Eden Advance crew.

Danziger stared after the duo as they disappeared into the trees. He was watching so intently that he didn't hear Yale come up behind him. "John?"
Jumping at the unexpected sound of his name, Danziger peeled his eyes from where Devon and Sheppard had entered the forest and turned around. "Jeez, Yale," he barked, "you tryin' to give me a heart attack or something?" "I'm sorry," the tutor apologized, "I didn't mean to startle you." "That's OK. Whatcha need?" Danziger asked as his gaze wondered back to its previous place.
Yale followed his gaze and nodded toward where Devon and Sheppard had disappeared, "I suspect we're both concerned about the same thing." "Well, if Adair wants to be stupid about this whole thing I don't see how we can stop her," Danziger shrugged, not wanting the tutor to know how much seeing Devon and Sheppard together really bothered him, "she's about as stubborn as they come."
"She's always been very determined and focused," Yale agreed, trying to use more diplomatic terms to describe his employer and friend. "Usually though," he continued, "she's a little more careful when it comes to trusting someone. I suppose it comes from being in a position where people always seem to want something from you."
Turning back to the other man, Danziger shook his head, "If she's so careful, why does she trust this guy so much?" There was a hint of frustration in his voice which relayed to Yale that Danziger was as worried about Devon as he was.
"I'm not sure," Yale answered, " maybe it's because he came into her life at a very vulnerable time."
"That's exactly what I'm worried about," Danziger sighed. "Me too. I remember how Devon was during the first few months after Uly came home to stay from the hospital," Yale began, "She was overwhelmed with everything. He needed constant attention at first and she refused to hire a nurse. She wanted to take care of him herself. I helped as much as she would let me, but she pretty much insisted on doing everything."

Being a single father, Danziger knew how hard it was to take care of a small child. He could only imagine what it was like for Devon caring for a child as ill as Uly was. He gained new respect for the woman that he had come to know in the last few months. Instead of using her wealth to pay someone else to care for her son, she had shouldered the responsibility herself. He knew that Devon loved her son dearly but always thought she was a little overprotective of him. Now, he realized how deep that love went and how strong Devon Adair really was. This realization only served to confuse him more about how she could abandon her usually astute senses and trust Sheppard without question. Yale continued as Danziger thought about what he was saying, "As she became more immersed into caring for Uly, she essentially cut herself off from all other human interactions, save for a board meeting here and there to make sure the company still ran smoothly. I gave her as much support as I could, but I could see how lonely she was. I encouraged her, though she wouldn't even consider getting involved in another romantic relationship. She was afraid it would interfere with caring for Uly and, even though she would never admit it, she was afraid of being hurt again."
"I can understand that," Danziger nodded, "after Elle died I didn't want to ever feel that kind of pain again. If I hadn't had True, I don't know how I would have made it."
"Devon's one of the strongest people I have ever known,but even she isn't immune to loneliness," Yale reflected. "I remember hearing her cry in Uly's nursery some nights. When I tried to talk to her about it she would just deny anything was wrong." The tutor lifted his head and sighed, "She would never admit that she was lonely or that taking care of Uly was exacting it's toll." "Sounds about right," Danziger agreed.
"Then things started to change," Yale met the other man's questioning eyes, "She became less withdrawn and even smiled occasionally. When she came to me with her idea about bringing Uly and the other syndrome children to G889 she was practically bursting with excitement. Uly was getting old enough to where he could help more in his own care and she threw herself into the development of Eden Project." "I was so happy to see her come out of her shell that I didn't even question why it happened so suddenly," Yale finished. "From what you're tellin' me Yale, she was ripe for the picking," Danziger frowned, getting more angry as he thought about it, "he could have played any kind of mind game he wanted with her. She was too vulnerable to stop it." "I can't say what exactly happened in those dreams, but whatever did happen, helped Devon become herself again," Yale admitted. "Maybe it was a good thing he was there for her."
"I don't know Yale," Danziger shook his head, " she probably would have come out of it herself in time. There's just something wrong about someone else getting into your dreams. You should have seen her. Before she remembered the dreams, she was scared to death of the guy. Then all of the sudden they're old friends? It was just weird how it all happened. She didn't even want to hear about why he was sent here in the first place." Yale hesitated then spoke, "There's more to it than just that." "What do you mean?"
"John," Yale began, "I have seen this man somewhere before, but for the life of me, I can't remember where."
"You mean you know him?" John asked incredulously. "I don't know if I actually know him or not, I just know his face is familiar. I've been searching my memory banks to try and place him. I haven't had any luck yet though."
"Yale, you've got to remember where you've seen him," John pressed, "it may be our only chance of convincing Devon that he's not being straight with her." "I know John, I'm trying. I'm just as worried about Devon as you are," Yale admonished.
"I know you are Yale, I'm sorry," Danziger apologized. "It's just that I have a really bad feeling about this guy. I've had it since we were in the caves and I can't seem to shake it. There's something that's not right and we have to figure out what it is."
"You know John, Devon is much smarter than we're giving her credit for. She may be fooled for a little while but if you're right about Sheppard and he's lying to her, she'll figure it out," Yale stated simply, realizing that they were underestimating the woman he practically raised. "I know Devon is a smart woman," Danziger said. "She's the smartest person I've ever known, but..." he hesitated, "I don't think Sheppard is playing fair. He got to her when she was most vulnerable and now she thinks that he's the reason Uly is healed. She's going to feel obligated to him because of that and I think he's going to take advantage of it." "You may be right, but we're here to make sure that doesn't happen," Yale resolved.
"You got that right, pal," Danziger agreed, gazing again into the forest where the two had disappeared.

Sheppard continued to lead Devon into the forest, further away from camp. "We shouldn't go too far from camp," Devon said, slowing down. "I just wanted to get far enough away where we could be somewhat alone," Sheppard smiled, stopping to wait for her. Devon laughed, "I guess it does get a little crowded around camp." "More than you know," he thought, then said aloud, "It can be difficult to find time alone when you live with a group. It was hard to be by yourself in the caves too."
They both stood there for a moment waiting for the other to speak. Sheppard stepped closer to Devon and took her hand. "It's good to finally have you to myself," he whispered, bending to kiss her. She returned the kiss but broke it off before it became more passionate. Pulling her hand away, she walked over to a nearby log and sat down.
"Is something wrong Devon?" he asked, trying to hide the frustration that was building. He knew he had told her they could take things more slowly but he wanted to be with her so much that he was finding it hard to keep his promise. "No, nothing's wrong," she answered. She knew that he wanted to take their relationship to the level it had been in their dreams. She did too, but something kept holding her back. It had been a very long time since she had even thought about being intimate with another person, and not just in the physical sense. After the fiasco with Uly's father she all but shunned the thought of becoming involved with another man. Yes, she became lonely and Sheppard helped ease that loneliness. It was easy to allow herself to be with him in her dreams because to her he was an imaginary lover and when she woke up, she was still safe. No emotional toll was exacted and no promises were broken. When she woke up, her life went on safely as it did before she went to sleep.
Sheppard went over to sit beside Devon. "If nothings wrong, why did you pull away from me?"
"I just thought we could use this time to get to know each other again. You know, to find out what's happened all these years. You've been on this planet for awhile, I'm interested in knowing about the experiences you've had and the things that you've encountered. What has it been like living here?" Devon asked, trying to change the subject.
"It's been lonely here," he answered as he moved to sit beside her. Talking was the last thing he wanted to do but he realized that she was still a little uncomfortable.
"You had all those people around, I wouldn't think you had time to get lonely."
"You had Uly and Yale, yet you still became lonely," he countered. "That's why I heard your call."
"Yes, I guess I did," she admitted. "When I started the Eden project though, I didn't have time to think about it anymore. I just threw myself into the work because it was the only chance Uly or any of the other syndrome children had. Things just got easier after that." "That's when you stopped dreaming to me," he said quietly. Devon looked at him. "I never thought about it but you're right. I did stop having the dreams around that time."
"I couldn't hear your call anymore. For some reason our connection had been broken." Sheppard looked away from her, "I kept trying to find you again, but I couldn't." He turned back to her, reaching out to touch her cheek, "I thought your were gone forever until Mr. Danziger called out your name. Then I realized you had come to me. You were right here on this planet." She smiled at him and took his hand. "I didn't know who you were at first. I was scared of you until the Elder told me who you were." "Devon, there's no reason for you to ever be scared of me," Sheppard assured her, putting his arm around her..
"I know," she said, resting her head on his shoulder. *You don't know anything about him* Danziger's words again echoed in her head. "Sheppard?"
"Hmm?"
"Tell me about what your life was like before you came here?" "It was an empty wasteland without you Devon," he answered, a little glibly, "I don't even like to think about it."
"Seriously," she said, raising up to look at him, "tell me about yourself." Sheppard eyed Devon for a minute and she thought she saw something flash in his eyes but as quickly as it appeared it was gone. Was it anger? Fear? She wasn't sure.
"What do you want to know?"
"Well, I don't even know your full name. All those dreams and all the time we've already spent together here and you've never told me." "My given name is Patrick Mason, but I have always gone by the name Sheppard."
"Why is that?" Devon asked.
"My father's name was Patrick and I wanted a name of my own," he lied. He was beginning to remember there was another reason why he chose the name Sheppard but he couldn't quite grasp the thread of memory that dangled just in front of him. He knew somehow though, that Devon shouldn't find out the real reason he chose that name and he gave an alternative explanation to appease her curiosity.
"Did you leave any family on the stations?" "No, they all died long before I came here, except for Katarina," he answered quickly.
"What did you do back on the stations?" "What do you mean?" he asked suspiciously. "I mean what kind of work did you do?" she rephrased, the question, noting that he was getting a little edgy.
"I was a trader." *Why can't I remember exactly what I did on the stations* he thought to himself. A buzzing noise started in his ears. "Oh, what did you trade?" Devon asked.
"Different things, I mainly traded goods with the people still on the Earth's surface," he answered, rubbing his head. The buzzing was getting louder. "Devon really, what's the use in all this? It was a lifetime ago. None of it matters anymore." He hadn't thought about his past for years and was disturbed by the fact that he was having trouble remembering it well. "I'd much rather talk about you. Tell me more about how you finally got here, how the Terrians healed your son," he asked, attempting to detour the conversation. Devon realized Sheppard was becoming very uncomfortable and even looked a little agitated. She was starting to ask him about it when the gear she had tucked into her coat beeped.
Taking the unit out of her pocked, she placed it on her head and flipped the eyepiece into place.
"Adair here," she responded, seeing Bess on the other end of the transmission. " What's up Bess?"
"Sorry to bother you Devon, but there's a discrepancy in the count of the food supplies. I thought since you did the last count I should check with you and have you look over the figures I got." "Can't this wait?" Devon asked a little exasperated. "Well, I guess it could but, we need to figure out if it's just a counting mistake or if there really are some things missing. Walman thought he might have seen a Grendler lurking around the camp a couple of days ago while you and Danziger were gone. We need to know if the Grendler took the supplies so we can tighten up the perimeter defenses and send a party to try and recover them. We're low enough as it is," the other woman answered. "Of course you're right Bess," Devon agreed, "I'll be right there. Adair out." She pulled the gear off her head and turned back to Sheppard. "I need to take care of this," she apologized. "Maybe we can finish talking later?" "Yes of course, go ahead. We'll talk later," he nodded, thankful for the interruption to their conversation.
She turned to head back to camp then, noticing he wasn't following her, she turned around and asked, " Aren't you coming back?" "No, not yet. I think we'll stay here for awhile longer." The buzzing was almost deafening now.
"We?"
"I mean I," he corrected, "I'll stay here a little longer." "OK, but don't go too far. Bess said there might be Grendlers around." "I'll be careful, don't worry."
Devon stared at him for a moment then asked, "Are you alright? You look a little pale."
"I'm fine," he covered wondering how she couldn't hear the noise that invaded his head and threatened to burst his eardrums. She stood there for a moment then frowned slightly, "OK then, I'll see you later."
"Yes," he agreed, "later."

End Part 6

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