Do you know my shadow? by Lisa04

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Do You Know My Shadow? (8/17)
by Lisa 04

"Did you hear something?" Julia pulled away from Alonzo and looked past him to the trees beyond.
"No," he answered, turning to see what she was looking at. "I thought I heard someone talking," she said, walking toward the treeline at the edge of the clearing.
"Well, I didn't hear anything. Besides, everyone is back at camp." He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "Now, where were we?" he grinned as he bent to kiss her neck.
"I've got to get back to work, Alonzo," Julia sighed, forgetting about the noise that had caught her attention. "Come on... let's go," she said, leading the protesting pilot back to camp.

Sheppard opened his eyes and sat up. "How long have I been here?" He started to get up when the memory of what had just happened hit him. He looked around quickly and seeing no one, he stumbled from the clearing. He walked at first. Then, as the realization of his past came to him, he began to run. He ran, trying to flee the memories of his past, tying to outrun the horrible images that swam before his eyes. Tripping over a rock, he fell to the ground. "My god, my god. It can't be true. I didn't do those things. It was Katarina," his mind screamed.
"Don't lie to yourself anymore," the voice said. "It was you." "No, it couldn't have have been. I'm not like that." "Don't kid yourself, Sheppard. You are like that," the voice whispered. "Remember...remember the power. People followed us. They worshipped us. That could be ours again, if you'll just let us be one." "No, leave me alone. I don't need you." "They will never accept you without me," the voice laughed. "Even Devon doesn't want you."
"Go away. Leave me alone," Sheppard screamed, turning to run back into the forest.

Sheppard ran until he could no longer breathe. He collapsed onto the ground and gasped for air. Slowly, his burning lungs recovered and his breathing calmed. He lay there, staring up at the trees until he began to shiver from the coolness of the air. Sitting up, he clasped his coat around him. "Get a grip on yourself, man," he said aloud. "No matter what was done, it's in the past. It's all behind you now. You have changed." "Have you?"
Sheppard keeping his fear in check, turned to confront the forgotten part of himself, "Yes, I have changed."
"You fool, you haven't changed. It was just easier to pretend here," the voice taunted. "This planet has made you soft, but now that you remember the truth, you'll desire the same things that you did before." "I don't know what you are talking about." "We were a god back on the stations. People worshipped us and we thrived on it."
"You thrived on it."
"No, Sheppard... you were the one who needed the power. I just had the means to get it."
Remembering his past that was becoming clearer by the minute, Sheppard reluctantly agreed. "Yes, I was very powerful then, but I have been a leader here on this planet without you and the things you do. I didn't need to use your methods in order for these people to accept me." "Maybe you didn't need *my methods* to convince those mindless sheep in the caves to accept you, but these people are different. They don't need you. They already have leaders," the voice hissed. "You'll need me..." Those last words floated by Sheppard as the ghostly voice faded. Still shaken, he turned to head back to the camp.

"Devon? Are you busy?" Sheppard asked as he entered the communications tent. "Just going over some of the structural design simulation programs for New Pacifica," she looked up from the computer and smiled. "How was you're walk?" "Fine," he answered quickly. He studied her for a moment, then walked over to stand behind her.
"It looks like you've done quite a bit of work on some of the designs," he said, peering over her shoulder at the computer screen. "Yes, but I still have so much more to do," she sighed. "I'm just hoping I can at least have the designs for the hospital and the main hall done before we reach the coast. It seems that every time I sit down to work on them, something comes up."
"I would have thought the designs would have been done before you left the stations," Sheppard said.
"Well, they were, but the specs given to me by the Council about this planet weren't quite right. I've had to do some redesigning to make sure the buildings will be structurally sound. Besides, to keep our agreement with the Terrians, I've also had to make certain that they don't upset the surrounding ecology," she explained.
"Uhmm," he nodded, then continued, "Devon, you're working too hard. Why don't you let Yale do some of that?"
"Because it's not his job, it's mine," she answered, looking at him strangely.
Picking up on her irritation with his suggestion, he countered, trying to smooth things over, "I just meant that you don't have to do everything. These people are here to do that sort of work, to leave you time for more important things."
Turning around in her chair to look at him, Devon asked, "And just what do you consider more important than making sure New Pacifica is ready for the colony ship?"
"Devon, you should be organizing these sorts of tasks, not doing them. You're the leader, your job is to make certain things get done, not to do them all," Sheppard explained.
Her irritation growing, Devon replied, "My *job* is to pitch in and do my share of the work. These people don't work *for* me anymore, we work together. We all have to do whatever it takes to keep us together and moving toward New Pacifica. There are people counting on us to be there and ready for them when they arrive," she finished.
"Devon, I understand that but..." before Sheppard could finish, Uly rushed in.
"Mom, Mom, look at the neat Terrian staff Yale helped me make," he said, running over to show his prize to his mother. "Isn't it great?" Looking at the excitement in her son's eyes, Devon smiled. It was still so wonderful to see him healthy and playing like a normal 8 year-old. "Yes honey, it's great," she agreed as she watched her son run around the tent, swinging the stick at imaginary monsters. "But Uly, please don't swing that in here." Too caught up in his game to hear his mother, Uly continued scrambling around the tent.
"Take that, you dragon," he taunted as he jousted the air with his staff, "and that..."
"Uly, please...," Devon continued, trying to get her son's attention. "Mom, it's OK. I'm killing dragons, I won't break anything," Uly answered as he ducked an invisible swinging tail.
"Uly..."
Sheppard watched silently at first, then tired of the interruption. "Ulysses, do what your mother says," he said a little too sharply. Uly hesitated for only a second, flashing a glance at the older man, then continued with his game as if in defiance to Sheppard's order. Devon was surprised at the harshness of Sheppard's tone and stared at him, temporarily forgetting about her son's antics.
Outside, Danziger had been walking by the tent and overheard the exchange. Because the voices were muffled somewhat by the tent itself, he didn't catch the tone in Sheppard's voice. He stepped into the tent to see what was up and was surprised by the sight that greeted him. Uly was charging around the tent playing with a stick, and Devon was looking strangely at Sheppard. There was a tenseness in the air, and although he was immensely curious, he thought better of asking.
"Hey champ," he said, "why don't you give your mom a break and come help me with the transrover?"
Uly immediately stopped what he was doing and ran over to Danziger. "Cool. Can I Mom?" he pleaded.
Devon looked at Uly and nodded, "Yes...go ahead." She caught Danziger's gaze as he escorted Uly out of the tent and mouthed a silent *Thank you* to him. He nodded and gave her a wink before stealing a glance at Sheppard and then disappearing through the door.
Devon turned toward Sheppard and spoke, "Please don't take that tone with my son."
"I'm sorry Devon. I didn't mean to sound harsh. I was just trying to help because he wasn't obeying you like he should," Sheppard apologized. "He's only eight years old, Sheppard. For the first time in his life he is able to play like a normal child. He just gets a little over-excited and caught up in his games."
"I understand that Devon, but he should still respect and obey his elders," Sheppard said, trying to explain his actions. "Sometimes children have to be reminded of these things."
"Uly has always been very well-behaved and respectful," Devon returned, starting to get angry at the inferences that Sheppard was making. Sheppard, wanting to avoid anymore friction between them, agreed, "Of course you're right Devon. Uly is a fine boy. I didn't mean to imply otherwise. I'm sorry if it sounded that way. It's just been a very stressful day. I guess I'm just having a more difficult time adjusting to being away from my friends than I thought. I think I'll go lie down for awhile." Though Devon was still upset over the earlier exchange, she could empathize with Sheppard's situation. He had left the people he had lived with for over thirty years to be here with her. Even though she had been with the group that made up Eden Advance for only a few months, already they felt like family to her. She knew how upsetting it would be to be separated from them. Softening a little, she nodded. "I know how difficult this must be for you Sheppard. This is a totally new way of life for you to adjust to and I guess I just didn't realize how hard it could be. I'm sorry." "You don't need to apologize Devon. It's not your fault. It's just going to take some time," he said. "I'll see you a little later." "OK," she smiled, "have a good rest."
Nodding, Sheppard left. He emerged from the tent and looked over to where Uly was helping Danziger. The child was listening, mesmerized as the mechanic explained the design and function of the solar panels he was working on. Sheppard watched as Danziger smiled and ruffled Uly's hair when the young boy handed him a screwdriver. With his attention focused on helping the older man, the homemade Terrian staff that had excited Uly so much, lay forgotten on the ground. Sheppard stared at the twosome for a few more seconds then abruptly turned and walked quickly to his tent.

End Part 8

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