Do you know my shadow? by Lisa04

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Do You Know My Shadow? (9/17)
by Lisa 04

Devon stared at the computer monitor, trying to concentrate on the designs floating by on the screen before her. Try as she might though, her mind kept wandering back to the earlier episode with Sheppard. Her conversation, or what some might call an argument, with Sheppard was gnawing at her. 'That is just so unlike him,' she thought to herself. 'I can't believe he acted that way.'
Devon flashed back to a similar situation that arose with Richard. Only he wanted her to stop working altogether. "You should spend time socializing and doing more enjoyable things," he had told her then. At the time, she thought he was just concerned about her because she was working so much. She soon realized that he just wanted to control her and her company. He, in his egotistical thinking, didn't believe she could head a multi-million dollar company as well as he could. Well, she showed him. She turned that multimillion dollar company into a multi-billion dollar company. All of that was a lifetime ago, though. Now her life was completely different. She no longer worried about board meetings and business deals. Decisions she now made dealt with life and death...not only for herself, but for the others too. However, these decisions weren't made alone. Even though the group looked to her for guidance, all major decisions were made together. *All I'm saying is that you should put it to a vote.* Devon smiled as she remembered that first confrontation with John Danziger. She had just assumed that everyone would want to journey to New Pacifica. He made her realize that the stakes had changed and that the group would need to work together if they were going to survive. Until that point, she was used to making all the decisions regarding Eden Project herself. She remembered the warmth and relief she felt when she watched one hand after another go up in favor of the journey across the unknown terrain to New Pacifica. Snapping out of her reverie, Devon's thoughts again returned to the earlier episode with Sheppard. 'He's just feeling the pressure of being in a new place with new people,' she assured herself. She stared at the computer screen for a few moments longer, then deciding she probably wouldn't get any more work done, she got up to go and see what her son was up to.
"Hey Adair, how about giving us a little help over here?" Danziger said to her, as she approached the transrover. "It's time you got your hands dirty." "Well, here's one man who doesn't feel like I work too much," she mused to herself, bending down to see what he needed. Both he and Uly were looking underneath the vehicle.
"What do you need?"
"I've got to get up under the transrover to tighten the cooling pipe and I need Uly to help me hold it. I need you to hand me a couple of tools," he said, looking up at her.
"Well, I think I can handle that," she answered. For an instant, she wondered if it could be dangerous for Uly to be under the vehicle, but she knew that Danziger would never put her son in an unsafe situation. "Good. Come on, Uly. Let's get under there and get to work." "OK, Mr. Danziger. I'm ready," the boy answered. Lying on their backs, the pair squirmed under the transrover. Devon kneeled down, ready to hand the mechanic whatever tool he needed. "OK Uly, hold this here... Got it?" Devon heard Danziger's muffled voice say to her son.
"Got it," Uly answered.
"Hey Adair, hand me the number five wrench. It should be right there by the tire."
Devon looked around and spotted the tool right where he said it would be. Grabbing it, she placed it into his outstretched hand. "Here you go." "Thanks...You're doing great, Uly. Just keep holding it like that. I'm almost done. There...that ought to do it."
The job finished, both fellows emerged from under the vehicle. Uly slid out first, followed by Danziger.
"Great job, champ. I couldn't have done it without you," Danziger praised the young boy.
Uly was beaming.
Devon smiled at her son, covered in dirt and grease. "Uly, you'd better go get cleaned up now. It's almost time for dinner." "OK Mom," Uly said. "Thanks for teaching me about the solar panels, Mr. Danziger."
"You're welcome, Uly, and thanks again for all your help." He watched as Uly trotted off to the biodome. "That's some kid you got there, Adair." Devon smiled after her son. "Yes, I think he's pretty great." "So, what was going on in the tent?" he ventured. "Things looked a little out of control in there."
Devon frowned at him, "Nothing... Uly just got a little too excited, that's all."
"I'm not talking about Uly," Danziger pressed. "Nothing else was going on, Danziger," she said flatly. Very familiar with her ‘don't push it' tone, he decided to let it drop. "OK, whatever you say, Adair," he said, throwing his hands up in mock surrender. She frowned at him then continued, changing the subject, "Did Bess tell you about the missing supplies?"
"No, what are you talking about?" he replied, becoming serious again. "Well, we have some supplies missing and Walman has seen a Grendler lurking around the camp. Bess thought that maybe the Grendler snuck into camp and grabbed some of the supplies last night while the perimeter sensors were malfunctioning."
"Devon, I find it pretty hard to believe that a Grendler can *sneak* anywhere, much less into this camp undetected," Danziger answered. "Would you change your opinion if I said that Walman was on duty last night?" Devon added, alluding to the difficult time the narcoleptic crew member had in staying awake on duty.
"Ahh... well yea, that might make it a little easier," he agreed. "Bess thinks we should try and find where it's taken the supplies, then try and get them back."
"God knows we can't afford to lose any supplies," Danziger said. "That's true, but it could be dangerous and I'm not sure we should risk it," Devon countered.
"Devon, we're strapped for supplies as it is. We need to be as well-stocked as possible...especially if we're going to be back on the road soon." "I know, I know, but I still don't like it," she conceded. "I thought we'd talk about it with the group at dinner." "Good idea," he agreed. "Sounds like we need to get those sensors working, pronto."
"Baines and Morgan were working on them this morning, and I think they've fixed the problem."
"Hmmm, I think I'll go check and see how things are going anyway," Danziger said, skeptical that Baines and Morgan Martin could work together to fix anything.
"I'm sure they'll appreciate your input," Devon chuckled sarcastically, as Danziger got up to leave.

Sheppard lie on his cot, mulling over the exchange with Devon and her son. *Why had he gotten so angry?* He had been annoyed that Ulysses barged in and interrupted them, and was also irritated that the boy wouldn't obey him. The thing that truly angered him, however, was the fact that Uly seemed to mind Danziger without question. He had felt the jealousy rise in him as he witnessed the fondness between the mechanic and the young boy. It also bothered him that Devon seemed relieved when John Danziger appeared at the tent opening. She didn't appear at all phased that her son readily obeyed Danziger, when just a few moments earlier, the boy had openly defied him. He was not used to people disobeying him. Returning to the present, he wondered to himself, "Why is this bothering me? Of course, the boy would pay more mind to Mr. Danziger. He has known him longer. In time, as Devon and I become closer, the boy will learn to look to me for guidance. As will Devon..." Something in the back of his mind, however, told him that it wouldn't be that easy. He rolled over, attempting to quell the growing discomfort that he had felt since encountering his ‘past'.

The group assembled for dinner and after the meal was finished, Devon stood up to address them. "Everyone... we have some things that we need to talk about and some decisions that need to be made..." she started, glancing over at Danziger who sat with True on his lap. "Some of you may have already heard that winter may soon be over," she continued, "and that we might be able to get back on the road to New Pacifica soon." "How soon?" Cameron asked from the back. "I'm not entirely certain," Yale answered, stepping up beside Devon. "But after analyzing the weather patterns over the last month, it could be as soon as a couple of weeks."
"That doesn't mean much if we can't find a way to get the vehicles out of this valley," grumbled Baines.
"You're right," agreed Devon. "That's why we need to step up our efforts to find a pass."
"Devon, we've been looking for a pass for several weeks now without any luck," Denner said, exasperated. "I mean, I don't think there is anywhere we haven't looked."
"Yeah," Morgan piped in. "What if we're just wasting our time? What if there isn't any way out of this God-forsaken place?" He started to get anxious. "We could be stuck here!" He was now entering one of his full-blown panic attacks. "Or worse yet, we could have to walk all the way to New Pacifica, and carry everything. My back can't take that, I can't do it! I'll die out there!" he finished, his eyes wide with terror, his breathing fast. Devon, used to Morgan's outbursts and overactive imagination (as were they all), sighed and looked over toward Bess. Bess, needing no prodding, tried to calm her anxious husband. "Morgan, honey, you're going to be fine. We all are."
Trying to help reassure him, Devon added, "Don't worry, Morgan. No one is going to have to carry anything. I'm sure we'll find a suitable pass for the vehicles."
"But, h..how can you be sure?" he stammered. "Morgan, there are lots of areas we weren't able to scout because the snow was too deep. Now that the snow is melting, we should be able to check them out, especially the area to the south. Laura and I were looking over the maps, and it seems to be the most likely place for a pass," she explained, patiently.
"So when do we start looking?" asked Baines. "I'm tired of being cooped up in this place," he said, looking over at Morgan and frowning. Having to spend an extended period of time with him earlier in the day had pretty much diminished Baines' tolerance level.
"What do you think, Yale?" Devon asked, her longtime friend. "If the sun stays out and the temperature continues to rise, I think the snow will be sufficiently melted in a couple of days for us to get to the area to the south of here," he nodded.
Sheppard sat in the back of the room and remained quiet, while the rest of the group discussed plans for scouting the terrain. He looked thoughtful and, when a lull occurred in the conversation, he cleared his throat. " Excuse me," he said, as everyone turned to look at the stranger, who had remained withdrawn since his appearance in the camp. "I don't think you should get too set on the fact that winter is over."
Devon stepped forward and was the first to speak, "What do you mean?" Sheppard looked around the group, glad to finally have their undivided attention. It felt good to have all eyes on him again. He stood up and assumed his most stately pose.
"The weather on this planet can be very deceiving, as I'm sure Mr. Danziger can attest to," he said, glancing in Danziger's direction. Danziger gave the other man an indecipherable look, but sat and listened without interrupting. "It might not be the best thing to start sending people out scouting for long distances, because the weather could still change at any minute. If there is one thing I've learned by living on this planet for the last 30 years, it's that the winters can be very long and harsh." He paused for dramatic effect then continued, "I don't think it would be wise for us to scout to the south until we have a clearer indication that the winter is over. We can't let ‘cabin fever' cloud our judgment and rush us into a decision we might regret." He finished and waited for the response from the group. He told himself that the reason he wanted to wait before they found a passage out of this valley was merely for safety's sake. Another part of him, however, knew that if he didn't establish his position in the group before they were on the road to New Pacifica, he might not get the chance again. He would simply fall into the pack of followers and would not be considered an integral part of the leadership of this band of travelers. That, he decided, was unacceptable to him.
Devon, thinking back to how suddenly the storm that stranded Danziger had come up, pondered Sheppard's point. "He could be right," she started. "Maybe we shouldn't rush into this." Devon still felt a tremendous responsibility for each and every person in the group and constantly worried about their safety. "Well, the weather has been pretty unpredictable all winter," Cameron agreed. Several other people started to agree that the weather had been quite harsh when Danziger spoke up. "Listen people, I'm sure that Yale knows what he's talking about. He has been using the specs about the weather gathered from previous satellite surveys of this planet, as well as a computer-generated analysis of the weather patterns over the last couple of months. He wouldn't tell us the winter was ending if he wasn't pretty darn sure about it." Danziger had walked up to the front of the group and stood between Devon and Yale to show his confidence in the tutor's analysis. "Look, Adair. We can't stay here forever," he said, turning to her. "New Pacifica isn't getting any closer while we sit here and wait for the Kobas to come out of hibernation." He glanced out at the group, then looked to the back at Sheppard. "I'm sure you know a lot about the winters here, but we just can't sit here and do nothing." He then turned back to Devon. "Even if the warming trend is only temporary, we could at least use the time to scout as much as possible. We can't let this opportunity go to waste." "You're right," Devon agreed. "We have to find a way out of here at some point, and we might as well take advantage of the warmer weather while we can." The rest of the group nodded in agreement. "It's settled then," Devon said. "We'll pair up into scouting parties as soon as the snow has melted some more and start looking for a pass to the south." Sheppard sat back down, unnoticed by the group which had turned their attention back to the people up front. He remained quiet, but inside he was filled with anger. "How dare they ignore me like that," he seethed. *Yes, how dare they* the voice agreed.
A few people started to get up to leave, but Devon stopped them. "We have something else we need to discuss. It seems a Grendler may have gotten past the faulty sensor and taken some supplies," she continued. "Are you sure?" Denner asked.
"We counted four times and still came up short, two crates of spirolina bars," Bess answered. "Walman saw a Grendler the other night, and that's the only thing strong enough to carry off two crates." "We can't afford to lose that stuff... we're practically starving as it is," Morgan whined, his stomach already protesting at the thought of less food. "Damn, slobberin' thieves," Baines mumbled "Why can't they just leave our stuff alone?!"
"Well, we need to decide what to do about it," Devon said over the rumblings of the group."We have to decide if we just cut our losses, or if we go and try to find where the Grendler took the crates." "I vote we go after our supplies," Morgan said, hunger gnawing at his stomach.
"It could be dangerous," Devon replied "We don't know a lot about them. They might react violently if they are cornered of feel threatened." "Oh, yeah... well then, maybe not," Morgan shrank back into his seat. He had let the fear of starving overrule his usual fear of everything else, but quickly came to his senses.
"Our supplies are tight. We can't afford to lose that food," Danziger said. "Especially if we're about to start traveling again." "I agree, we really can't afford to lose that food. But," she added, "we have to be very careful when we try to get it back. No amount of food is worth someone getting hurt." She emphasized the last point by looking around the room at everyone, who all nodded in agreement. "OK, people," Danziger finished, "we'll start putting together search teams tomorrow. In the meantime, let's keep sharp on guard duty and make sure that thing doesn't make off with anymore supplies...I'll take first watch." The group dispersed, as Devon pulled Danziger over to the side. "You're supposed to be taking it easy," she said. "I don't think staying up late to do watch was in Julia's treatment plan."
"Anybody ever tell you that you that you worry too much, Adair?" he said, shaking his head. "Besides, I'm fine. I don't need any more rest." "Alright, but don't come crying to me if you get sick again," she shrugged. "I promise, I won't," he grunted.
Sheppard observed from the back of the room as Devon and Danziger talked for a few moments longer. Danziger then turned and headed out of the room to start his shift on watch. Devon walked over to where Yale and Uly were sitting and bent over to whisper something to her son. Sheppard suspected that she told him it was time for bed, because the young boy frowned. Devon smiled at her protesting son and kissed him goodnight before she shooed him off to bed. She said a few words to the tutor, then he too left to turn in. She saw Sheppard and walked back to where he stood.
"Hi." For some reason, she felt uncomfortable around him. She wasn't certain why, but maybe it was because of what had happened earlier. "Hello," he answered. He was still upset at the group disregarding his advice, but he was more distressed by Devon listening to Danziger over him. Without thinking about it, he asked, "Devon, why did you ignore my advice?" Devon was taken aback for a moment, but recovered sufficiently to answer him. "I'm not sure what you mean?" she said. "I mean, why did you choose to take Danziger's advice over mine?" Devon was truly stunned by his question. "Sheppard, I know that you think the winter isn't over, but Danziger was right. We can't stay here forever. Even if the weather doesn't stay warm, we can at least use the time to look for a pass."
"Do you always do what Mr. Danziger suggests?" he asked, coolly. "If I agree with it, I do," she answered angrily, again not liking the implications he was making. "I don't understand why you're upset, but you have no reason to be." She paused, calming herself, "Things work a little differently around here. The decisions aren't made by just one person. We decided as a group to use the break in the weather to look for a pass out of here. I know that you have spent more time on this planet than any of us, but I trust Yale's judgment about the weather trends. At least the trends for the next couple of weeks..." She stopped, not wanting to get angry again. *This is not the time or the place for this* a voice in the back of his mind said. "Look Devon, I don't want to argue with you. I am just thinking about the welfare of the group," he lied, " I don't want anyone getting into the same situation that Mr. Danziger did when he got caught unaware by the weather."
"We'll be more careful, and no one will go out alone," she answered. "Now, I think I'll go tuck my son into bed and turn in myself." Sheppard smiled thinly, "Well, goodnight then. I'll see you in the morning." "Yes...goodnight," she answered, turning to leave. Sheppard watched her go, then walked out of the biodome into the night.

End Part 9

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