Shattered dreams, shattered lives by Rhonda Hallstrom

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SHATTERED DREAMS, SHATTERED LIVES (4/4)
by Rhonda Hallstrom

Another day dawned bright and early.

Devon still could not do anything to Elle. She had no proof of any wrong doing and the Terrians had been properly vague, as usual. She instead poured her attentions to the maps as the survey teams pointed out the best and worst routes to take.

"...and this part," Alonzo pointed, "is off limits. The Terrians told me so."

John and Elle frowned but only one spoke up. "Why should that stop you?" Elle asked.

Feeling a precognitive shiver run down her back, Devon asked calmly, "What do you mean by that, Elle? We've always tried to avoid the Terrians' territory whenever possible. This is their planet and we've-"

"That shouldn't mean you have to eliminate a viable route just because the Terrians don't like it," retorted Elle.

Devon sighed heavily as John helpfully tried to intervene. "Sweetheart, it's not worth the trouble. They have lightning sticks of some kind and, if we make them angry, they can cause unimaginable damage to the vehicles and equipment, if not risking our very lives."

"I don't believe you!" Elle exclaimed. "You sound...you sound like the ancient ancestors who were afraid to make a move without the approval of their gods! Besides, there's a very simple way to go past them."

"How?" Alonzo asked curiously. He was wondering if she had been introduced to the world of the dreamplane and knew something he didn't.

"A defoliant."

Julia gasped as half the party looked puzzled. "I don't think that's a very good idea," Julia protested. "This is a very harmonious balance of life here on this planet."

"What's a defoliant?" Morgan whispered to his wife.

Bess, her eyes wide at the turn of conversation, whispered back, "It kills plant life."

Morgan frowned. "Kills? Not freezes? Hm, that's not very profitable-"

Julia continued her argument. "A defoliant could irrevocably-"

"It won't do anything permanent," Elle snapped. "I know, since I've already done it. That's how I'm managed to survive here on the planet by myself for so long. Sure, the Terrians don't like it and can't travel through the earth in the spots that it's been used, but the natural environment will recover in a decade or so."

"A decade??!" Devon and Alonzo exclaimed.

"A decade is not a very long time in environmental terms," Elle told them.

"This planet is a living biosphere!" Julia protested until Devon held up her hand. "Everything interacts together and it could affect our very lives since we eat the native foods-!"

"Oh, nonsense," Elle told her. "We have sterilization procedures for that. It won't affect us at all."

"It WILL affect the Terrians!!"

"That's just how Earth was destroyed!"

Devon held up both hands to silence the sudden hubbub that sprang up around her. Surprisingly, John Danziger himself was struck speechless. "I believe," Devon said, "that we have vetoed that action. Defoliants will not be used on this planet at any time from now on."

"Excuse me, MS. Adair, but you aren't in charge here!" Elle snapped.

"Elle," John said reluctantly. "It's not a good idea. It'll upset the Terrians and they might retaliate - on us. Think of True...."

Elle stared at him for a long time as some of the others, uncomfortable with the argument, melted away, taking it as a sign of a break to get coffee.

"I don't believe you," Elle said softly. "Well, if you don't do it, I will."

"Baby, you won't do that."

"John, our goal is to get to New Pacifica! If that means inconveniencing a few walking zombies, then too bad! It's time someone showed some guts around here!" Elle tore herself from his grasp and stomped outside, followed by most of the people in the tent, unbelieving that she would do such a thing.

John Danziger tried sense once more. "Elle, baby-"

"I'm not a baby, John! Now, help me so we can get on with this trip from hell so we can get off this damn planet!!!"

Devon knew the exact words to stop her but, looking at John, she didn't want to use them. *I am so, so sorry,* she thought to John, hoping one day he would understand. "Dorothy Grant," she called.

Elle froze. Most of the others looked at Devon puzzledly.

"Who's Dorothy Grant?" John asked. He knew Devon well enough to know that she would have a reason.

Painfully, Devon looked at Elle. There would never be an answer coming from her. "We think Dorothy Grant is the woman you married, John," Devon told him.

"What?!"

Elle was now looking at Devon with near hatred. "How dare you?! How dare you make up such awful things about me?!"

"Grant of Grant Industries?" Julia asked. The others' eyes widened in disbelief.

"The very same," Devon confirmed.

"Rumored to have Council connections," Alonzo finished sadly, looking at John with sympathy. "Perhaps even having a seat themselves."

"The multimillionaires?!" Morgan mouthed to Bess. He swayed a little. He was incomprehensible to him that John Danziger could have married into the structure higher than he was himself or could ever hope to be. Bess patted his shoulder abstractly as she listened.

"No way!" John protested.

Devon stepped forward, speaking directly to Elle. "I thought you looked familiar all this time, but I couldn't place you. We were both so young. Then in the baths...well....I remembered you with extremely long, blonde hair. That's what threw me off. But when hair is wet, no matter what the color, it usually looks dark. In the baths, I finally placed you. And there were other inconsistencies. You knew too much about the upper class. Your educational level-"

"Your hands," John broke in. His face was a mask. "And the laser. And your hair-?"

"You probably avoided growing your hair so that your short hair would have the effect it had on me," Devon theorized. "So that the people who had met you wouldn't place you."

"But what happened to the real Eleanore Moore?" asked Alonzo.

"Dead," Yale said. "There was an electrical fire in Eleanore Moore's last known job," Yale continued, looking at John. "There were a few survivors but not many. Moore was never accounted for as a survivor in that fire. However, she turned up-"

"-three months later when I hired her," John finished. He had read the report, too. "But her physical-!"

"'You can do anything with money,' right, Elle?" Devon asked. "I'm sure you could find a surgeon willing to change your distinguishing marks into her distinguishing marks. You hid from your family, right under their noses. 'No one looks at a drone.'"

"Well, none of that matters now," Elle said blithely. "The Council are on their way now."

"WHAT?!!" exclaimed Devon and John in unison.

Elle stared daggers at her husband before responding. "The Council will provide us with a ship to get out of here," she said to John. "AND enough money to start out again. They won't tell my family; we can go our own way again."

"Elle...." John whispered, mortified.

"With that money, True can get a first-class education and I'm sure there'll be enough to buy her a medical school and a hundred cats, if that's what she wants. We can be together-"

"How could you do this to us?" John asked miserably.

"Us? US??" Elle shouted. "Which 'US'"? My 'us' is you and me and True!!!"

"All right, people!" Devon shouted, "We have emergency packing to do! Let's go! Move! Move! Move!" People dispersed quickly to break up camp. Bess had to drag Morgan away. Devon wanted to leave but she had no choice but to remain. "John?" she asked.

"You've changed, John!" Elle charged. "I don't know you anymore! The John Danziger I knew wouldn't call anyone 'Boss' and mean it! He wouldn't ask people for permission to do things every single time he turned around! He put his family first!"

"I DO PUT MY FAMILY FIRST!!" John yelled back at her with such force, she took a step back. "Everything I've done here, I've done for True! And I would have for you, if you would have let me! You've changed, too! You used to let me help you when you needed it! You used to trust me, trust others! What happened to that?!"

"I could never trust others," Elle said quietly. "Not even you."

John's eyes went cold. "All right, then," he said, just as quietly. "The camp is now in danger, thanks to you. I am going to go help them. You can do what you want...Dorothy." He walked away.

"I got along just fine on my own, John Danziger!!" Elle yelled after him. "I didn't NEED anyone like you did!! I did just fine on my own, you hear me!!!"

Yale, who had quietly approached her from the rear, took her arm gently but firmly. "Perhaps," he commented, "you did too well on your own." At Devon's nod, he led her to the medtent, where Julia, who was doing research, could keep an eye on her.

Devon looked after them. *What are we going to do with her?* she thought, *and what's John going to say about it?* She would talk to John now but the safety of the camp had priority. She hurried back to the camp to help.

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A few hours later, everyone was busy trying not to trip over each other in their haste to get away. The snow, the cold, and the ice were secondary factors. The Council that had tried to kill them knew where they were.

Devon was busier than ever, answering a million questions at once while trying to plot an escape route, when Julia ran over to her. "Devon!" Julia gasped, trying to catch her breath. "I, I found--"

"Calm down, Julia," Devon said. "Catch your breath." Struggling with the importance of her news, Julia attempted to comply. "Now tell me what's wrong."

Julia shook her head vigorously. "No!" she blurted. "Not what's wrong; what's right!...I mean..." Julia took a deep breath. "We may have found an answer to the Council finding us!"

"What!?" Devon gasped.

"The mud!" Julia practically shouted. "The red clay! It jams sensor readings!" She hastened to explain. "It got all over my table and I was testing it...my sensors went absolutely haywire!!! It's got some properties--"

As usual, Devon's mind was racing ahead. "We cause some kind of explosion to send the red clay in the air to block the Council's sensors?!"

"I know it sounds crazy," Julia said, "but come look in the medtent."

Devon quickly dropped everything to go. Once they got there, they found Magus on the ground, dazed. "I left her to guard Elle," Julia explained as she knelt to check Magus.

Devon dashed into the tent and returned just as quickly. "She's gone," Devon stated. "DANZIGER!" she yelled as she helped Julia pick up Magus.

"I'm okay," Magus stated, swaying a little.

Julia nodded agreement. "It's only a bump; painful but not a concussion. Here," she said as she gave Magus a mild painkiller. Magus shook her head experimentally and walked away carefully to continue packing as Danziger approached.

Devon knew there was no point in beating around the bush. "John," she said, "Elle's escaped."

"So?"

Devon gaped at him. For a brief moment, she thought Danziger might have helped her but dismissed the notion when she thought of the couple's argument. "What?!"

"We've got the camp to worry about, Adair," he said matter-of-factly. "We can't spend the manpower to track her down now."

Devon had to admit he was right. She turned to Julia. "Does Elle know about the clay?" she asked.

"Clay?" Danziger asked.

"Not unless she can get through encrypted files in less than two minutes," Julia replied.

Devon promptly turned to Danziger and filled him in.

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That day seemed twice as long to Devon Adair and the New Pacifica crew. The plan was ridiculously simple. Most of the crew stayed behind to continue to move the campsite while the others traveled to the mountainside to create an explosion capable of sending a volume of red clay into the air in a desperate attempt to hide them. They finally settled on sonics.

The harmless sensa-therm had to be recalibrated. No longer was it an instrument used to map the terrain. Now, through sonic waves, it was able to vibrate at such an intensity that it caused the fragile clay to shake and finally collapse under the invisible onslaught of pressure. The crew cheered as the red dust scattered every which way. The gentle winds picked up the soft grannules and carried them for miles, covering the entire area, as the Eden crew scrambled for safety, moving their belongings to the next area, keeping ahead of the Council once more.

Devon was surprised and pleased by their success. They could have just moved the camp but the red dust would be in the atmosphere for weeks, Julia estimated, messing up the Council's sensors, should they move quickly. A good rain would get rid of it all but by then, they would be through the mountain pass, thanks to the explosion that paved a nice passage for them, and far away from the Council's eyes.

Swept on by the urgency, the camp made good time and it wasn't until eight hours of steady travel did they feel they could stop for the night. Everyone was exhausted from the exertion and the stress as they gratefully set up their sets. For once, though, no one complained about the brisk pace that day and no one complained about the necessity to set up evening camp.

Devon thought it was a nice change. The only thing that was left was Elle. She had caught John casting glances at the scenery, probably hoping that he'd catch sight of her but what would happen if he had? She had noticed that John Danziger kept himself and his daughter busy with setting up camp. Once they could find nothing more to do, John had taken his daughter aside, had an extremely short conversation with her (in Devon's opinion, who was keeping an eye on him), and then strode off into the woods, not even bothering to eat.

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Not much later, Devon stared at the forlorn figure on the rocks. Her heart ached just as if she was the one injured. She approached John cautiously, knowing that his pain and anger may not be very discriminating at the moment.

When she was about five feet away, Danziger turned his head slightly to acknowledge her presence. She took that as a sign that it was relatively safe and sat down next to him.

After a moment, she said softly, "Are you all right, John?"

He shrugged. Devon supressed the urge to put her arm around him in comfort. She sensed he would not take kindly to being touched at the moment. "Oh, sure," he responded tiredly. "I've been betrayed and lied to by my wife, embarrassed and humiliated in front of my friends, and I'm so out of it, I don't even know where my daughter is. Yeah, I'm great, Adair."

Devon was glad she could at least help him with one of his problems. "I told True that Yale was conducting a special class on animals, especially the cat family. Maybe now, she'll know a kitty when she sees one," Devon smiled, hoping John would smile at the joke. He didn't. She sighed and, deciding to live dangerously, put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "There was nothing you could have done," she said.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

Devon couldn't help but reflect that he sounded exactly like Uly when Uly was convinced that each dark cubbyhole and crevice housed a monster. Yale told Uly fairy tales that put monsters into a more adventurous light. John's monsters were not so easily banished since he carried them with him. Devon didn't think the same tactic would work with him. But except for that, John's and Uly's fears were similar; both were convinced that their world had fallen out from underneath their feet.

Maybe being practical would help. "True needs you," Devon reminded him.

"I know."

"We need you," Devon said. She swallowed hard. Did she really start this out by being practical? For better or for worse, she took the final step. "I need you."

Danziger turned slowly to look Devon right in the eyes. "Just what are you saying, Adair," he stated rather than asked.

Devon tried not to break the impromptu staredown. "I am saying," she said firmly, (*his eyes are so BLUE! STOP that!!*) "that we all need each other; THAT is our strength! You said once that Uly was one of us; well, so are you. You are a part of us." He was still staring into her eyes. She couldn't help herself; her hand reached up to touch his cheek. "And, John, you can NEVER embarrass or humiliate yourself in front of us. You can't! It's not possible. You can't be foolish to those who...love you."

Devon couldn't take it anymore. She leaned forward, snaked her arms under his, pressed his head to her shoulder, and hugged as hard as she could. She began crying, not hacking sobs, but soft, gentle tears that allowed her to express her feelings, her sorrow, her sympathy, and every other emotion that she had experienced in the past weeks. Dimly, she was aware that he was doing the same.

They held each other for a very long time until there were no more tears.

"So, what are you going to do?" Devon questioned gently, stroking his hair softly. "She IS True's real mother, correct?"

"Yeah, and that's the only thing that will prevent me from shooting her when I see her again," John growled, pulling away from Devon's embrace. At Devon's look, he shrugged and shook his head. "You know I don't mean that..."

"I know."

"It's just that...just....Dammit, Adair, if she'd just been HONEST with me!" John stood and began pacing, running a hand through his hair. "I could forgive just about anything. I understand why she lied about her past, I understand why she lied about herself. I even have no doubt in my mind that she loved me. And I loved her. But I can't stay in a relationship without trust. She couldn't trust me...." His voice broke and he fought to get himself under control. "I...I don't give a shit about her real name...any of it. But I can't believe she didn't know me well enough to trust me. I told her everything, damn it! She just couldn't return the favor..."

"She was very scared," Devon stated softly.

"I know," he said, "but do you think *I* was less scared about marriage? I could've helped her keep her secret IF she had told me...if she had trusted me. It all comes down to trust, doesn't it? *I* can't trust anyone - or love anyone - who can't trust me."

"What about True?" Devon asked, more as a curiosity.

"It's not going to be nice to hear for a kid," Danziger said, "but I think it'll be better for True in the long run. Elle and I HAVE changed, both of us, and I don't think we would've had a chance now, anyway."

"I'm sorry for you, John," Devon said. "I'm sorry for your pain. And True's. I wish there was something I could do." She reached out and took his hand in hers. The gesture spoke volumes.

*I think you just did,* John thought. He looked into her blue eyes. A new beginning from a painful end.

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