I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN STATIONS BUREAUCRAT
By
Anne Wochner
Timeline: Time Unknown
Author's E-Mail: Awoch@aol.com
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
(coming out of lurkdom)
I had intended to have this song ready in time for NP '98, but inspiration (as well as time and energy) gave out halfway through. However, with some help
from my sister (who I've finally converted to E2 fandom :-) ), I was able to finish it.
"I Am the Very Model of a Modern Stations Bureaucrat" words copyright 1998 by Anne Wochner
(to the tune of "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General" by Gilbert & Sullivan)
I am the very model of a modern stations bureaucrat: I push a
lot of papers 'round and meddle into this and that, I crack
my colleagues' secret codes to find out what I need to know,
But still my rise through station ranks is really going much
too slow.
Chorus:
But still his rise through station ranks is really going much
too slow But still his rise through station ranks is really
going much too slow But still his rise through station ranks
is really going much much much too slow.
I'm now the liason to this crazy woman and her foolish quest
And so I've got to travel to G889 with my wife Bess.
But I've got plans to stake a claim on some uncharted
treasure there And when we get back home then Bess and I will
soon be millionaires!
Chorus:
And when they get back home then Bess and he will soon be
millionaires And when they get back home then Bess and he
will soon be millionaires And when they get back home then
Bess and he will soon have lots and lots of dough!
We crashed a zillion miles away from where we were supposed
to land.
To get to New Pacifica a trip to find supplies was planned,
But when we finally made it to the cargo pod's familiar wall,
We found out that this planet wasn't uninhabited after all!
We ran into this maniac who nearly led us all astray, We grew
a horse out of a can but thanks to Gaal he ran away.
I got stung by True's kitty cat and was almost a fatality And
I play with my VR gear 'cause I can't take reality!
Chorus:
And he plays with his VR gear 'cause he can't take reality
And he plays with his VR gear 'cause he can't take reality
And he plays with his VR gear 'cause he can't take reali-ali-ty
I got a little nervous 'cause this Grendler kept on following
me.
We found some folks from the other pod who had a serious
malady.
I traded with the Grendler for the slobber that would cure us
all-- I came back with the Grendler's drool but very little
clothes at all!
My wife was very proud of me
but I don't like this habitat
and still I am the model of a modern stations bureaucrat!
Chorus:
His wife was very proud of him but he doesn't like this
habitat And still he is the model of a modern stations
bureaucrat!
My wife saw fit to tell me she'd had thoughts about another
guy-- I felt my world come tumbling 'round me, and I thought
that I would die!
In VR I told Bess' father all that I could not tell her-- She
heard me and we got remarried and the term's forever!
Chorus:
She heard him and they got remarried and the term's forever
She heard him and they got remarried and the term's forever
She heard him and they got remarried and the term's forever-
ever!
I saw a chance to make a fortune but I did not stop to think.
Bess and I were nearly frozen and we hurt the Terrian's link.
And so I took a step to undo all the damage I had done: the
Morganite, it did the trick, but not before my brain was
stunned!
My wife inhaled some pollen that compelled her to go north
somewhere-- I wanted to believe her, but I feared she would
not make it there.
I finally inhaled the pollen so that we could reach our goal-
- And at the mesa coughed the pollen out into this great big
hole!It turned up the planet's thermostat:
I helped make spring--imagine that!
Not bad for the model of a modern stations bureaucrat!
Chorus: In short we think he's getting used to living in this
habitat-- No longer quite the model of a modern stations
bureaucrat!
-The End-
This text file was ran through PERL script made by Andy. Original text file is available in Andy's Earth 2 Fan Fiction Archive.