BOUNDARIES
By
Joan Powers
Timeline: On way to New Pacifica
Author's E-Mail: rpowers702@aol.com
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
(1) This story follows "Stepping Stones", which described how Eden Advance rescued Devon from her cold sleep crypt. It primarily focuses on Devon and John's relationship as the group continues their journey to New Pacifica. For a change, since this is a longer story than I usually write, I'll be posting one section of this story per day. There are 8 sections total. (2) Special thanks to Vicki, Tracy, Maxine, Rosa and Paula for their helpful advice and support.
(3) All comments gratefully accepted at rpowers702@aol.com
"Boundaries", Part 1
by Joan Powers
(True Danziger)
// I'll never understand grownups. When Devon collapsed and we had to put her into that cold sleep chamber on the spaceship, Dad was miserable. I thought it was like what happened with my mom so I prayed that she would get better and that he could be happy again. Now Devon is back with the group, but Dad *still* isn't normal. For a while he seemed better, but lately he's been as grouchy as ever. I don't understand what's bothering him.//
Morning sunlight filtered through the sparse needles of twisted pine trees which offered painfully little shade to the Eden Advance camp site. Once again, the travelers were in the midst of performing their daily morning ritual, breaking up camp in order to continue their seemingly endless trek to New Pacifica. Moving almost mechanically, the crew had managed to strike most of the tents, with the notable exception of the Martin's. Even that seemed to be part of the routine. Magus and Denner shot annoyed glances in the Martin's general direction, hoping to convince the couple to speed up their packing. Dr. Heller supervised as Alonzo, Walman and Baines grunted under the strain of lifting crates of medical equipment onto the Trans Rover, while other crew members hustled to stow the remainder of their gear. Conversation was minimal, for no one was especially looking forward to yet another long hot day of traveling.
Amidst the bustle of activity, Danziger rounded the corner of the Dune Rail to ensure that its cargo was securely stashed. As he bent to check the placement of a crate, out of the corner of his eye he spied Devon attempting to lift some large plastic containers of water. Taking a few broad steps, he swiftly moved to intercept her efforts. Standing directly in her path he sternly asked, "What are you doing?"
Upon hearing his deep voice and nearly colliding with the solidly built mechanic, Devon was startled but immediately schooled her features to disguise this. Determinedly fixing her chin, she looked him squarely in the eye and confidently responded, "Trying to get this group on the road."
It was difficult to cover much distance in the hot weather, which was taking its toll on the crew members as well as the vehicles. Yesterday, Magus and Cameron had collapsed, nearly succumbing to heat stroke. Both were feeling better but would be riding in the back of the Trans Rover, shaded by an awning -- Dr. Heller's orders.
Last night, Devon had urged the group to get an earlier start so they could travel more in the cool of the morning, but...much to her displeasure and intense embarrassment, since she had been ill she had difficulty waking up in the morning. She slept so soundly that she had to be physically roused.
Danziger wasn't moving to allow her to pass, so she curtly commented, "You're in my way."
While lesser men had been intimidated by her carefully honed dismissive tones, the mechanic was undaunted and refused to budge. In fact, his blue eyes sparkled with amusement and he grinned wryly as he cocked an eyebrow. "Hasn't Dr. Heller restricted all lifting activity for you until further notice?"
Inwardly Devon cringed, she hated being reminded of her recent illness. And Danziger knew it. The fact that she wasn't back to her former level of vigor irritated her to no end. She rose to his challenge and retorted, "Oh come on. She's being too conservative. I'm feeling much better."
Not to be dissuaded, she stubbornly bent to pick up her containers, but the tall man beat her to them, her palms bumping into the tops of his large hands. Immediately she withdrew, disconcerted by even the slightest brush against him.
"Sit down Devon. We'll get everything packed - without your help" John responded.
He spoke firmly, but there was another emotion thinly masked within his voice as well. One which captured her attention, yet frightened her. Still uncomfortable but not about to lose face in front of him, she coolly replied, "Fine, I'll go check on the kids." She turned on her heal and resolutely strode towards Yale and the children.
It had only been two and half weeks since Devon had returned to camp, to the world of the living. During the first days, she had been so physically drained she had welcomed the opportunity to rest. Her unused muscles ached and a chill permeated her body despite the warmth of the summer weather. She was grateful that Danziger had insisted upon leading the group as she recuperated.
But now, over twenty days had passed - much too long for her to comfortably permit others to shoulder her responsibilities.
She watched as Danziger barked out advice to the throng of the Eden Advance who were busily packing up the remnants of their equipment. A sliver of resentment twinged within her. *Who does he think he is? This is my group, not his.*
And since when had he taken charge of her?
In the past, though it had taken considerable effort, she had usually managed to get her way. A smug smile crossed her lips as she recalled that she hadn't allowed him to interfere with her plans to invite Shepard to join their group or with her attempts to negotiate with the Terrians for Yale's life. Danziger hadn't dared to override her authority under those circumstances.
But that seemed to have changed. Along with the look in his eyes.
The desert terrain passed before their eyes, seemingly endless and unchanging. One rolling hill rapidly became another as they traversed a virtual sea of sand. Predominantly small shrubs and bushes dotted the monotonous landscape and the distant mountains they were headed towards. Appearances were deceiving in the vast arid country - for while the mountain range seemed close, it would take the caravan more than a week to reach their base.
Parked in the Trans Rover beside her Dad while enduring the growing heat and boredom of the day, True dangled her legs over the bench seat. She had long since given up on her attempts at conversation with her father. His vacant stare was beginning to irritate her, and her annoyance only grew as she followed his gaze to a certain female with auburn hair who was walking several feet ahead of them. She heaved a sigh of frustration yet she knew it was useless to broach the subject with her Dad who would only once again deny that he was behaving oddly.
As she listlessly swung her legs, she began to occupy herself by imagining how her life might be once they reached New Pacifica. It couldn't be as boring as traveling - the same routine day after day. Or as dull as school. Even though she had progressed rapidly with her studies, just thinking about sitting around doing lessons prompted her to yawn. She was more of a hands-on person who learned by doing, like her Dad. She frowned as she realized that there would probably be just as many rules at New Pacifica as there had been everywhere else on the planet.
However, True remembered how impressed her father had been by his first glimpse of the ocean on the eastern coast. His voice had been filled with excitement as he described it to her, his words drawing her in - she was anxious to see it for herself. She wanted to dive into the water and feel the crash of those waves against her. To smell and taste the salty air. To see the beauty of the sun's rays shimmering on the distant horizon.
While she had experienced re-creations of oceans in VR, she had to admit that the real thing would be better. Riding Pegasus had been much more fun than the synthetic broncos in the arcades at the Stations. And while her previous virtual visits to planet's surfaces to examine flora and fauna had been interesting, those programs just couldn't convey the smell of the air and the flowers, the feel of the sun warm on the back of her neck or the wind whipping through her hair, or even the pain inflicted by those annoying bugs which nipped at her ankles as she walked through tall grass. After experiencing reality, VR was a poor substitute.
With some surprise, she realized that she would miss this planet if her father chose for them to return to the Stations. While she was afraid of the many dangers presented by the planet, it was exciting for her to climb real trees, to dance in non-toxic rain, and to breath fresh non-recycled air. She had no idea what her father planned for their future for he wasn't one to waste time discussing decisions which didn't need to made for at least two years. When it was time, then he would tell her.
Two hundred fifty families. There would be lots of new kids to play with. And even if they were unable to retrieve the remainder of the Eden Advance cargo, the Colony ship would be ferrying many creature comforts from the Stations. New Pacifica might not be so bad after all. True continued to amuse herself with her plans.
Unfortunately, time was not passing by so pleasantly for her father, who continued to track Devon with his eyes. Annoyance simmered within him, he couldn't believe that Julia had permitted her to walk in this sweltering heat. Devon was mending but she certainly wasn't completely back to normal.
He was all too aware of how easily she tired and of her stubborn refusal to acknowledge her weakened condition. To keep her from over exerting herself, he and Yale had conspired to wake her in the morning only after the group had started to break camp. As Uly or True assisted her with breakfast, the two men quickly dismantled her tent and packed up her belongings. He wasn't sure how much longer they would be able to get away with their ruse, Devon was a poor patient and couldn't stand having people do things for her.
As he noticed Devon stumbling, he instinctively reached to his gear, which was draped about his neck. With his fingers on the button about to activate it, he paused. *No, it's too soon. She'll never buy it.* He reluctantly returned his grip to the steering wheel.
He tried to distract himself by thinking about other concerns. Food was a major issue. The dry terrain produced little but brush and small shrubs and their vast supply of preserved food was dwindling rapidly. The mountain range they were headed towards contained forests, but even a scouting team would take several days to reach it.
However, there was a smaller oasis of sorts - a grouping of taller trees to the north which captured his attention. Perhaps they should detour there to attempt to forage for some edibles? His practiced eye gauged that they could reach its perimeter within a few hours. He made a mental note to confer with Yale when they stopped to take a break.
Almost automatically, his gaze returned to Devon. He squinted *Was she slowing down?* From this distance, it was hard for him to tell. Even if she were tired, he knew that she wouldn't acknowledge it unless she were pressed.
Danziger silently laughed at himself. Devon's persistence - her continual pushing of herself and others, was a quality that he had admired in her. Her drive alone had made this mission possible and saved her son's life. It had sustained them after the crash. And it could possibly save over two hundred fifty other Syndrome children as well. It had kept the two of them alive during their disastrous trip for water. When he was ready to lie down and die, she hadn't let him.
Now that very quality was driving him crazy.
The next time Devon faltered, grabbing Yale's arm for support, Danziger instinctively activated his gear and said "Okay everybody - time for a break." He brought the Trans Rover to a halt and climbed out, while avoiding his daughter's questioning glance.
Immediately Devon was on his trail. "Danziger, why did we stop?" She breathed heavily, "It's too soon. We have to keep moving." Her face was flushed and she dabbed at sweat trickling down her forehead with a cloth.
Knowing better than to mention his concerns about her health, he simply replied, "Rover's heating up, can't push it too hard. These are the only vehicles we got Adair. Let's give them a break." He walked past her, not giving her a chance to respond.
The group huddled about the Trans Rover attempting to cool themselves in the limited amount of shade provided by the vehicle. Julia and Morgan doled out water rations as the others paused to rest. Baines and Walman attempted to rig makeshift fans to circulate the air as Yale, Danziger, and Alonzo slipped away from the group to speak privately.
After resting for fifteen minutes, Devon was impatient to get back on the road so she rose from the ground where she had been sitting and rallied the group, "Come on everybody. Let's go again." She motioned to them with her arms. Most exchanged weary glances and issued unenthusiastic groans as they prepared to leave.
As the trio of men broke apart from their discussion, Danziger strode over to Devon and grabbed her forearm, "Come on Adair, you're riding with me."
She laughed nervously, surprised by the force of his grip, "Danziger, I'm fine. Leave me alone." Her eyes didn't quite contact his, focusing just past his shoulder. She grimaced and twisted her arm to try to break his grasp but he held firm as he proceeded to escort her to the Trans Rover.
"What are you doing?" Devon protested. She continued to follow him only because she was half afraid he would pick her up and carry her if she resisted.
"Making sure you get into the Trans Rover."
As they arrived at the passenger side door, Danziger loosened his grip and Devon snatched back her arm. Since Alonzo and Walman were already staring at them with knowing smirks, Devon lowered her voice and hissed, "I don't need to rest. I'm feeling much better."
The tall man shook his head, "Doctors orders." He opened the door and motioned to it, "Get in." With a hint of sarcasm he added, "Or will you require assistance?"
She scrambled in, anxious to avoid attracting any more attention to the two of them. "Danziger, why are you treating me like a child?"
"Because you're acting like one." He slammed the door shut.
Devon leaned against the passenger door of the Trans Rover, intending to maintain as much distance as possible between her and Danziger. *How dare he treat me that way. And in front of the entire group.* She forced herself to look out the window as he slide onto the drivers seat.
As she thought about why Danziger may have acted as he did, conflicting emotions battled within her. Emotions she wasn't sure about and didn't want to deal with at the moment. So she tried to concentrate on the scenery as their caravan proceeded.
After several minutes of traveling, she quickly glanced towards Danziger. Despite herself, her gaze lingered on his profile. When had she first noticed how handsome he was? That golden unruly hair, that strong jaw line with just a hint of beard, those blue eyes, those full lips. *Stop it*
She jerked her head around, forcing herself to return to scanning the distant horizon. A patch of trees loomed in the distance, breaking up the monotony of the rolling hills covered with low brush.
"Danziger, why are we heading north? This is out of our way."
The mechanic gruffly responded, "Thought it might be a good place to restock supplies."
Her eyebrow raised, "Why didn't you ask me about this?"
He shrugged, feigning nonchalance, "Didn't think it was a big deal."
She sighed and mentally counted to ten. Once again, a decision had been made and she had not even been consulted. Being left out infuriated her. She leaned her head back against the seat of the Rover and closed her eyes with the intention of resting for a moment. Then she would tell Danziger *exactly* how she felt about not being included in important decisions.
However, within minutes, she was sound asleep.
(End of part 1)
"Boundaries", Part 2
by Joan Powers
With her head slumped over leaning against the door of the Trans Rover and her eyes closed, Devon appeared younger and more vulnerable. Her protective barriers afforded by facial expressions and vocal intonations were absent. A softness which she tried to hide from the world was evident. Her shoulder length auburn hair attractively framed her face. Since she was asleep, John took full advantage of the opportunity to study the lines of her chin and cheek bones. Her long lashes. He paused as he took in her full soft lips. He remembered how wonderful those lips had felt against his when he had kissed her.
Devon's recovery had been a slow ongoing process. While the Terrians had healed her and removed all traces of the poison, her body required time to restore itself. During the first days, she rested in the bed of the Trans Rover as they traveled. In the evenings, Bess and Julia had diligently massaged her limbs to stimulate her circulation. For a while, all of Devon's motions were stiff and painful to her. Her physical strength was being restored, but not at the rate that she would have preferred.
Since Devon had rejoined the group, John had been spending quite a lot of time with her. During the days, he took turns riding in the bed of the Trans Rover with her. Evenings, he usually pitched her tent and helped Uly relay her some food. Later, on many nights, he would drop in to check on her after her physical therapy session with Dr. Heller. Ostensibly it was because he was 'acting' group leader and he needed her feedback. He claimed that he wanted to keep her informed about the group's activities.
However, Devon was so weak that he didn't bother to mention several of their problems. Most of them, he and the others had been able to work out between themselves. John felt fiercely protective of Devon and didn't want undue worries to interfere with her recovery.
During his most recent nightly visit to her tent, he had been telling her about the scouting reports. Or was it about the condition of the vehicles? Something like that. They were both sitting on her cot and he had her hand loosely covered with his. That was becoming typical during their visits. As he spoke, he gently moved his thumb over the top of her hand.
Suddenly Devon interrupted him, changing the subject. She cleared her throat uncomfortably as she struggled for her words,
"John....I..I've been meaning to thank you for looking after the group and Uly. You've done a wonderful job." She looked downward, her face was slightly flushed as she attempted to acknowledge her gratitude. "You've done so much for me...I don't know how to pay you back."
As she spoke, she tilted her head towards his. Her eyes met his and he had grinned warmly towards her. In that moment, her defense shields were down, he could see her emotions clearly reflecting in her magical brown eyes. There was genuine gratitude, warmth and....longing? His heart had begun to beat faster as the emotions he himself had only been able to acknowledge for Devon after she had fallen ill, seemed to be mirrored in his beloved's face.
He leaned forward, running the tips of his fingers along the side of her face, from her temple to her cheek. She responded to his touch by turning in towards him to allow his palm to rest against her cheek. Slowly he edged forward and tentatively brushed his lips against hers. The two separated briefly then more confidently returned to meet again. Their lips parted slightly as they began to deepen the kiss. John wrapped his arm about her shoulders to hold her body securely against his. The two began to hungrily explore one another - tasting and touching. The warmth of her body and her growing response to his touch sent a surge of desire coursing through him which was so powerful, it caused him to pull back.
Yet, as he tried to catch his breath he sensed something was wrong. Something had changed - almost instantaneously. Devon's body had become tense - almost rigid. She too was breathing heavily but instead of desire, her eyes had become filled with fear. Her pure terror - like a trapped animal, cooled John's passion. He tried to speak, to make things better but she turned about and softly asked him to leave.
They hadn't spoken about it. And since then she seemed to be avoiding him.
Her reaction had bewildered him. Unable to lie still, he had spent most of that night pacing about the camp, replaying those events in his mind. He hadn't done anything wrong. Their kiss had felt so right. He had been longing to touch her, to kiss her for such a long time. Initially she seemed to be enjoying it just as much as he had. Why did she pull away?
He deduced that Devon was willing to accept his help because she had to - she didn't have a choice. But to let someone into her heart, especially a person of his social standing - that was a different story. He had dealt with prejudice all of his life. Why should he be surprised to encounter it here? Ms. Devon Adair had someone to manage her vehicles, guide her group and even take care of her son. She was a woman who was used to getting what she wanted when she wanted it. She had what she needed from him, she didn't *want* anything more.
Fueled by his anger, he had slammed his fist into the side of the Trans Rover. As he gingerly examined his injured hand, he hoped that the throbbing of his wounded knuckles would serve to dull some of his fury. How could he have been such a fool to think that she could love him?
But her eyes. He hadn't imagined the emotions that he saw in them - had he?
It was evident that she had no recollection of their unusual virtual reality encounter. Somehow the combination of Morgan Martin and the Dream Plane had allowed him to speak to Devon while she was in suspended animation. While their visit had been brief, those sentiments, which he thought he had glimpsed within her earlier that evening, had been in her voice and her expression. She had told him that he meant a lot to her and that she knew she could count on him.
When she had first collapsed, he had managed to suppress his emotions, burying them deep inside of himself. He threw himself into his new duties as group leader and surrogate father to Uly. While he didn't allow himself to think about Devon during the daytime, his efforts to completely block her out of his mind were futile. Nightmares of him discovering her dead body haunted him and grew in their intensity each night. When Devon appeared before him while he was in that bizarre VR program, the grief that he had felt over her absence nearly overwhelmed him. It had forced him to face his feelings for her.
As he finally collapsed on his cot that night, he had managed to convince himself that Devon didn't care about him. Or at least that she had no interest in developing a more intimate relationship with him. Feeling angry and hurt, he wanted to pull away from her and ignore her.
But he couldn't just turn off his feelings towards her and simply return to life as it was before. Not when he had to deal with her every day, when she was so close. Not when her headstrong nature would inevitably get her into trouble. He couldn't live with himself if anything were to happen to her. No matter how Devon felt about him, he resolved that he would get her to New Pacifica in one piece.
Beads of sweat collected on John's forehead as the Trans Rover drew nearer to the wooded area. While Devon slept beside him, he remembered the first time he saw her. He was performing some routine checks of cargo pod release mechanisms when she passed by, touring the Advance ship with O'Neil. The two of them had been completely absorbed in their discussion so they took no notice of him. Immediately he had been impressed by her beauty. She had a striking figure, with just enough curves in the right places. But the feature which captivated him had been her smile. Her expression was rapt with excitement as she periodically craned her neck to examine the features of the ship.
As attractive as she appeared, the stories he had heard about her made him wary. She was a powerful woman who was used to doing exactly as she pleased. She had resources beyond his imagination and was even the head of her own company. The authoritative manner in which she had addressed the entire Eden project while they were gathered together in space dock left an odd taste in his mouth. Yet despite her status, people on the Stations had laughed at her behind her back, considering her crazy for sacrificing her successful career and place in their society only to pursue the Eden project's venture to G889, a desolate uncolonized planet fraught with unknown perils.
Even though he was physically attracted to her, he chose not to even consider acting on those impulses. He didn't need additional complications in his life. Besides, she was the rich boss, he was only head of the Ops crew. What did they have in common, coming from such different backgrounds? He also had his pride, he wasn't the type of man to have casual affairs. Given Devon's brash personality, he instinctively felt as if any involvement with her would only be setting himself up for future trouble and heartache.
His resolve only strengthened after they had crash landed on G889. His main priorities became keeping his daughter safe and figuring out a way to get them home.
It should have been easy for him to avoid getting involved with Devon. He hadn't planned on falling in love with her. He had already been in love, with Ellie - the mother of his child. He considered himself fortunate to have known her for the short period of time that they had together. And everyday he was thankful for their child, who made his life worth living.
When had it started? When had he fallen in love with Devon?
During their first days on the planet, he had resented her. He was angry that his entire life had been so radically changed and he blamed her for their predicament. Her tendency to rush blindly into unknown situations, taking too many risks, made him uncomfortable. She was shouting orders to the group but she didn't always pick the best course of action. So being his usual undiplomatic self, naturally he had to interfere. He smirked, recalling Devon's reaction to some of his blunt comments. When he informed her that her that priorities had changed, that New Pacifica was no longer the main goal, she seemed shocked that some one would actually question her.
Initially he had continued to give his input to guide the group because he was no fool, he wanted to survive. He had a little girl to protect. G889 frightened him with all its potential dangers.
And while he felt at odds with Devon, his heart ached for her son who seemed so helpless in his immunosuit that he couldn't just stand by. He felt obligated to help transport Uly and rig the ATV for him so he could be mobile. He was a good kid who didn't deserve to feel useless. Likewise, he felt compelled to search for Uly when he disappeared into the Terrian tunnels.
Later when Uly had fallen ill again, he had unilaterally made the decision that the group would travel out of their way to assist the Terrians. He thought he had made that snap judgment for the boy's sake, but with hindsight he realized that the desperation in Devon's expression influenced him as well.
When had it happened? It seemed like there should have been a definite moment. While he searched his memory, he couldn't recall any such incident. The transition in his feelings towards her had been gradual. Somehow it had quietly snuck up on him.
Only when the Elder accused him of being in love with Devon did he realize that it was too late, that he was in trouble. At that point he strove to deny his feelings for her, coming up with the idea of a long range scout to try to put some distance between the two of them. But that hadn't been successful.
He didn't want to love her. But he did.
*This is stupid. She doesn't care about me. I don't mean anything to her.*
For the first time in three days, he began to feel calmer and able to think more rationally. As memories of the past few months on the planet continued to flash through his mind, he tried to convince himself that he was more than a mechanic to her. Devon had confided in him about her concerns for Yale when his mind wash was beginning to fail - that had been difficult for her. She seemed to have trouble opening up to people.
While he had been stuck in that claustrophobic tunnel, his heart nearly leapt into his throat as he heard the catch in her voice when she expressed her fear that something might have happened to him in the spider caves. Later that evening when they spoke on the beach, he sensed that there was an unspoken admission of feelings between the two of them. That there was an attraction between them, but neither were ready to act on it yet. That subtle acknowledgment had provided a sense of peace for him.
But had he read more into that moment than was truly there?
He began to smile as he remembered how frightened Devon had seemed as she forced him to take his medication after he had inhaled that awful flower pollen. He had woken up in the middle of the night to see her asleep in his tent with her head lying on top of a table.
*She just didn't want to lose her main mechanic* a cynical part of him argued.
*That's not true* his heart countered back. She had asked him to watch over the group and her son. Devon took her responsibilities to heart and would never casually hand them over to just anyone. She trusted him with what was most important to her.
As he looked once again towards her sleeping form, another explanation for her behavior that night dawned upon him. She did care about him, maybe she wasn't ready for a closer relationship. After all, if her illness hadn't forced him to face his feelings for her, he probably would still be experiencing reservations about getting involved with her.
What were her reasons? What held her back? Had Uly's father abandoned her once he learned that they had a Syndrome child? To his chagrin, thoughts about Uly's father had entered his mind more than he cared to admit. Had she loved him? Did he break her heart? Was she afraid of setting herself up to be wounded again?
Or perhaps her overall reserve was a product of her social status and upbringing? His discussions with Yale led him to realize that many people had tried to take advantage of her since she was wealthy, ingratiating themselves in her presence only so she could fund their ventures or so they could use her influence to fulfill their goals.
Devon had described her parents as strict. Had they taught her how to construct her walls to protect herself from those types of people? Or had they been part of the reason that her barriers were constructed in the first place?
While he didn't have the answers to those questions, he realized that he had inadvertently taken advantage of Devon. He had kissed her while she was still recovering from her illness and thus was in a vulnerable position. He had crossed a line when she wasn't prepared for it. In order for them to carry their relationship further, he would have to wait until she decided that she was ready, and allow her to make the next move. It might take a while, but he could be a patient man and he wasn't about to give up easily.
THUD *Huh? What was that?* Devon stirred drowsily as she struggled to open her eyelids. Her body felt so heavy, almost as if she were weighted down. *So tired. Where am I?*
She found herself stretched out across the bench seat of the Trans Rover with Danziger's blue jacket wadded up beneath her head, serving as a pillow. She sighed wearily *Not again.* She had thought that she was getting better but this was part of the same old routine.
As she pushed against the seat with shaky limbs and peered out the windshield of the vehicle, she noticed that another part of the routine hadn't changed either. Danziger and Uly had just finishing putting up her tent. She frowned as her stomach muscles began to tighten. Briefly she considered accosting Danziger and firmly telling him to mind his own affairs. But that conversation might lead to issues that she didn't feel comfortable addressing at present.
Then she noticed Dr. Heller stepping out of the Med tent. Aware that the situation with Danziger was ongoing and would not be resolvable in one confrontation, there were other aspects of her life that she could regain control of. She stumbled out of the vehicle and approached the doctor.
"Julia - I need to speak with you."
The woman looked up from a crate she was opening, "Are you feeling all right? Let's check your vitals." As she reached for her diaglove, Devon pulled back impatiently,
"I'm *fine*. I have other business that I need to discuss with you. Privately."
The young doctor rose and followed the older woman into the Med Tent. Devon began stamping her feet, trying to get rid of a sudden stabbing pins-and-needles sensation in her feet and legs. When she caught Julia's concerned expression, she ceased. In a no nonsense tone she held the doctor's gaze and stated,
"Julia, I want to know more about my illness."
Without blinking an eye, the blonde woman responded, "What about it Devon? You were poisoned, the Terrians helped us remove the compound. While they healed you, there weren't any changes at the DNA level like those in your son. I can't explain how they cured you Devon, we've spoken about this before. I just don't know."
Devon impatiently tapped her foot and replied, "Julia, I know all this. Now tell me what I don't know - where did this poison come from? Is it indigenous to the planet? Why haven't we taken any precautions to ensure that this won't happen to other crew members?" Resentment crept into her voice as she added, "Or has something already been done and once again no one has bothered to inform me?"
The young doctor turned her head to the side and was silent for a moment, considering her options. Would this information adversely affect her patient's recovery? How much detail should she go into? Pursing her lips she made her decision,
"Okay, I'll tell you what you want to know. I haven't mentioned this before because I didn't want to upset you." Dodging Devon's irate glance, she continued, "The rest of the group doesn't know about this either, only Yale."
The older woman's eyebrow arched and she prompted, "Well.."
Julia situated herself comfortably on the edge of her cot as she began to explain, "Devon, the poison in your body was synthesized, it's not native to this planet. We believe that the Council implanted it in your body to be released after you had sufficient time to establish the colony."
"What?" she gasped, unsteadily grabbing the nearest available crate for a seat. "But why?"
"The best we could figure out is that after you led the advance team to establish the colony at New Pacifica if something were to happen to you, the colonists would be vulnerable and open to new leadership. Specifically, Council leadership."
Devon closed her eyes as her sense of nausea grew worse. She swallowed hard, "Why are you being so secretive about this?"
Julia took a breath and attempted to illustrate her point, "What purpose would sharing this information with the group serve? We can't change what happened." She rose and began to pace, "Devon, group morale hit absolute bottom after you collapsed. Ebon's death, Elizabeth's warnings about the planet, your illness...it was too much. Now that we've been able to learn more about Elizabeth and Franklin's experiences and you've been cured, people are beginning to feel like they can tackle the challenges of this planet again. Do you really want to take that away from them?"
Devon covered her face with her hands, overwhelmed by the doctor's information. She tried to take slow and deliberate breaths to dissipate the sensation of absolute panic that threatened to over take her. She had to regain control.
With alarm Julia noted, "You don't look well." She crossed the tent and activated her diaglove which she held up to Devon's chest. After examining the readout she admonished, "You need to rest. You shouldn't have been walking so long in the heat today."
"Julia - stop treating me like a child! I am not helpless. I have to start doing *something* for myself or I'll never get better."
"But at a reasonable pace. If you push yourself too hard too fast, you could lose some of the ground that you've gained." Dr. Heller reassured the woman as she sat down beside her, "Devon, I know it's hard for you to let other people take care of you. But this is the way it has to be - for now at least. It won't always be this way." With a slight grin she softly added, "And I don't think certain people mind helping you out."
Devon's face became deeply flushed as she caught the woman's not so subtle hint. She rushed to stand and lost her balance in the process, nearly falling over. As Julia moved forward to help her, she regained her equilibrium and hurried out of the tent.
(End of Part 2)
All comments greatly appreciated at Rpowers702@aol.com
"Boundaries", Part 3
by Joan Powers
"Should I wake Mom up?" Uly's voice enthusiastically boomed.
The sound literally piercing through her, Devon flinched. *What time is it?* From the amount of light in her tent, it appeared to be at least midmorning. A shot of adrenaline coursed through her - *Why weren't they on the road?*
As she feebly stirred on her cot, boosting herself up on her elbows, her confusion began to fade. Yale had mentioned something about forging for food at this location.
"Hi Mom!" Uly poked his head through the tent flap, a broad grin plastered across his elf like face. "How are you feeling?" He scampered over to his mom and snuggled up next to her on the cot.
Devon smiled warmly as she saw her son whom she immediately put an arm about and squeezed gently, "Just fine Champ. What are you up to?"
"Yale's teaching us about the Faith wars, then we get to help look for food." As a afterthought he added, "Want some breakfast?"
Devon beamed and hugged her son again. He was so eager to please her and take care of her. Her eyes were bright, she was so proud of him. "No, I'm okay." Immediately noticing his concerned frown she reassured him, "I'm fine, I'm just not very hungry. I'll help the others look for food."
The glow in his eyes remained dim as he hastily responded, "But... Bess thought you might like to know that there's a pond nearby. You can take a bath."
Getting the impression that her son wasn't comfortable with the idea of her scouting, she suggested, "Okay. Maybe I'll wash our clothes then."
He quickly replied, "You don't have to do that. John already did our stuff along with his."
Her mouth remained open for a moment. *Oh, did he?* She was going to have to have a talk with that man. Soon.
"Uly" Yale's voice called, "Our lesson?"
"I gotta go" he jumped up. "Oh, your gear is right here Mom" he gestured towards a crate. "John fixed it for you last night. See ya." He darted off to find Yale and True.
Devon remained seated on her cot, contemplating a course of action for the day. For once, she was actually feeling refreshed, as if her energy was returning to her. Encouraged by this, she didn't want to sit around camp all day. She wanted to *do* something.
As she dressed, she decided she would find out how the search groups were organized and join in. For it was coming back to her, the food situation was worse than Danziger had alluded. Last night she had managed to pry the truth out of Yale. Everyone needed to do their part. She pulled tight the laces of her hiking boots then lifted the tent flap. Before exiting, she noticed her repaired gear so she grabbed the set and shoved it in her back pocket then she stepped out into the late morning sun, blinking as the bright light hit her face.
Their camp site was surprisingly quiet. In fact, it almost seemed to be deserted. Their tents were clustered about beneath some tall trees, nestled within the rolling terrain. Most of the Eden Advance were probably off just beyond the crest of those hills, searching for edibles.
As she surveyed the area to re-establish her bearings, Bess Martin spotted her and rushed towards her. "Good morning Devon. Or should I say good afternoon? How are you feeling?"
Instinctively, Devon tightened her jaw. While she appreciated Bess's assistance, her continual hovering was a source of irritation. Bess was fantastic with the children, kind and patient. But Devon didn't require mothering. She wasn't used to it and she didn't like it. She took a few steps back as she returned the greeting, "I'm fine Bess. How's the search going?"
The woman cheerfully responded, "Nothing yet, but it's still early. There's some spirolina if you want breakfast."
Anxious to terminate this conversation as quickly as possible, Devon curtly replied, "No. I'm going to help with the search."
Bess's smile disappeared, "I don't think that would be a good idea. I have another one. There's a spring.."
"Stop telling me what to do." Devon lashed out impatiently.
All pretenses aside Bess quipped back in an equally firm tone, "It's not just my idea Devon. You're not well enough to explore. Julia won't allow you and Danziger and Yale will wring my neck if I let you out of my sight today."
Pent up frustration was rapidly surfacing as the prospect of facing yet another day with a baby-sitter set in. Devon complained, "I am not a child. Why do you people keep insisting on treating me like one?"
Bess did not back down from the other woman's tirade. Her own indignation began to rise as she returned with equal vigor, "Tell me, when Uly was in his immunosuit, did you allow him to go 'exploring on his own'?"
"Of course not! But that's not an apt analogy."
"It is when you insist on doing activities which will interfere with you getting better." Devon threw up her hands in disgust as Bess continued, " I can understand your frustration, but why are you mad at people for caring enough to do what is best for you? You're being selfish."
Aghast, Devon opened her mouth to reply but Bess didn't allow her to interrupt, "And if you can't be considerate of the rest of the group, at least think of your own son. I certainly don't want to be the one to tell him that his mom didn't get better because she was too stubborn to follow simple instructions."
Devon's hands were clenched and her eyes blazed with rage. Her words were clipped as she responded, "Okay, I'll go to the stream. But I'm going alone - understand me. Alone. I think I can handle *that* activity." With that remark, she stormed away from Bess.
"Devon" Bess called after her, her voice devoid of emotion. "It's in the other direction."
She spun about and strode off without uttering another word.
Her raging emotions propelled her along at top speed through the forest as her disagreement with Bess continued to play in her head. She was so preoccupied that she stumbled several times and also managed to tangle herself up in a low hanging tree branch, which only added to her irritation.
//You're being selfish.//
What on earth was Bess talking about? She was the one who had made multiple sacrifices to get them all here. She had given up almost everything she had - her sky rocketing career and most of her financial resources. Who was Bess Martin to toss about those kinds of accusations?
//I certainly don't want to be the one to tell him that his mom didn't get better because she was too stubborn to follow simple instruction//
Too stubborn? Ha! How many times had she heard herself described as being stubborn? Her father's voice had usually been filled with pride when he used that adjective. She could envision him, a tall man whose dark hair contained touches of gray only at his temples. While not a physically imposing figure, his confident carriage and manner clearly conveyed his authority. His booming voice bragging to his cronies resounded in her ears,
//My daughter is a true Adair. She never gives up. She's way too stubborn to ever let go of anything easily.//
Why didn't anyone understand that she had to push herself to get better?
During her time in the wards with the Syndrome children, Devon had seen that the children who were passive, those who didn't try to exert themselves - didn't get better. Well, they weren't expected to recover, but those who were persistent and continued to maintain their bodies were able to hold their ground for a longer period of time.
If she remained complacent and did as the others instructed, her endurance would never improve. And she could not accept living as a semi-invalid, being dependent on the good will of others for the rest of her life. The idea was repugnant to her for she had always treasured her independence.
As she maneuvered around another low hanging branch, she looked up to see the stream. She stopped in her tracks and began to grin despite her foul mood. For it was more than a mere trickle of running water. It was deep enough to dive into. It had been weeks since they had encountered such a large body of water, they had been making due with sponge baths. When Devon first returned to camp, she had been so weak that other people had to administer them to her. As she tossed off her clothes to leap into the water, she rejoiced that she was able to bath herself and no longer had to suffer those indignities.
She shivered as her naked body contacted the icy cold water then she fully immersed herself, dunking her head beneath the surface. The water felt wonderful, exhilarating and refreshing, finally washing away the grit and grime of traveling.
And for once, she was truly alone. No one was waiting just around the corner to make sure that she was okay. No baby-sitter. She was alone and she reveled in it.
As she soaked in the cool water, she began to giggle uncontrollably. If some one had told her that she would be wildly tearing off her clothes in the middle of the wilderness and blindly jumping into some pond, she would have thought they were crazy. She was much too inhibited to behave in that fashion. Wasn't she?
This planet had changed her.
It had changed all of them, some in more subtle ways than others. Previously she had only dreamed that her son could live a normal life - running and playing just like any other young boy. Now her dream had become reality, Uly had his whole life ahead of him - virtually a fresh slate to draw upon. And who would have thought that their hot-shot pilot would form a link with an alien species and commit himself to one woman? She remembered the struggles that she had seen Julia go through. Her battle of conflicting loyalties and accepting new found love. And Bess...
Initially Bess had impressed Devon as being a beautiful woman of average intelligence. She seemed like a meek creature who simply followed her husband on this mission because it was 'her duty'. That assessment clearly wasn't true. Bess had proven many times that she was more than just a pretty face. She was tough and resourceful. And she seemed to be becoming more aggressive. Devon was shocked that the woman had fought her with such intensity and expressed her opinions so openly that morning.
Only one other person in the Eden Advance had directly challenged her.
As she began to lather her body with some soap that one of the Eden Advance had conveniently left behind, she wondered how G889 had changed John Danziger. Since she didn't know much about his past, it was difficult to say. The fact that he was practically co-leader of the group when he had previously been pigeon-holed as a drone indicated that his leadership abilities had been fostered. Without a doubt, she knew that she could entrust him with the group while she had been ill.
Had he always been so aggressive and suspicious? Life in the Quadrant must have been rough. Often John seemed eager to shoot first and ask questions later. His open distrust of the Terrians irked her. Yet, in all fairness, his cautious nature had balanced her impetuousness.
She had been shocked to hear that he had allowed Uly to visit the sick Terrians by himself while she had been in suspended animation. When John told her about the incident, he seemed sheepish and apologetic. Her immediate reaction was to protest vehemently but she managed to squelch her impulse and listen to the rest of his account, for she sensed how difficult that decision must have been for him. She could see it in his eyes. Perhaps after his experiences with the Grendler and the sick Terrians, John was beginning to learn to trust the inhabitants of this planet.
Since she was starting to get goose bumps, she pulled herself out of the stream. As she looked about for something to dry herself with, she laughed out loud again. In her haste to leave camp, she hadn't brought a towel. So she dragged her clothes near her and modestly hunched over on a rock to allow the warmth of the sun to dry her.
Nude sunbathing. Now that certainly wasn't her style, her eyes sparkled with glee.
How else had this planet changed her? Had it made her stronger?
She wasn't sure. Her parents had raised her to be confident. To face difficulties with her head held high and not to run from challenges. They didn't believe in babying their daughter, they refused to bail her out of difficult situations. She had to learn how to handle them by herself. And she did.
She could remember cuddling her infant child, terrified by the thought of losing him. It had seemed a battle against insurmountable odds. But she hadn't sat down and wallowed in her fear, she had used it to motivate herself - to organize this mission. Fear was no stranger to her.
So why did it haunt her now?
The longer they stayed on the planet, the worse it grew. Julia's revelation that she had been poisoned by the Council had been a staggering blow. But why should she have been surprised after all they had already done - the bomb planted on the Advance ship, the act of sabotage causing their crash onto the planet, the discovery of penal colonists and Z.E.D.s, as well as the bio-stat implants, whose malfunction had nearly killed them all.
Somehow, the Council's latest deed was a little too close to home for her. Even just thinking about it caused her heart to beat faster.
Why would the Council want to kill her? Was she personally such a threat to them? Her primary goal in organizing this mission had been to save her son's life and provide the same opportunity for other Syndrome children. She hadn't even intended to become permanently involved in the governing of the colony. In fact Broderick O'Neil was originally slated to lead their advance party. What purpose would replacing the leadership of New Pacifica at this juncture serve?
She sighed, all too aware of the answer to that question. Approximately one year would have provided sufficient time for her advance team to set up the colony and learn more about their surroundings. At that point, the Eden project and the Council had conflicting agendas.
While both were eager to glean information about their brave new world and the native inhabitants, this knowledge would be used to serve different purposes. The Eden Project would strive to heal the Syndrome children then attempt to forge a symbiotic relationship with their new environment. On the other hand, a Council operative would use this data to identify weaknesses -- to determine how they could dominate G889 and possibly plunder it's natural resources. Their second chance at life on an unspoiled world would be destroyed. Devon would never stand for this and the Council knew it.
If their plan to kill her had been effective, who would have replaced her? Certainly not a member of the Advance team, for Danziger had not met with resistance when he stepped in to act as leader in her absence. Yet, if the Council appointee had been some one like Morgan Martin, he wouldn't have been prepared for these unusual circumstances. His true colors might not be revealed until he was ensconced in more familiar surroundings. Even though Julia had performed unauthorized medical tests on her son and Devon suspected that she was currently withholding information from her, she refused to believe that the young doctor was involved with that Council scheme. For if Dr. Hellar hadn't worked so diligently to learn more about the planet and her illness, she would still be vegetating in a cryotube.
Who did that leave? Some one from the third evac pod? Or had the Council decided to launch a smaller ship to rendezvous with them at New Pacifica?
Devon rubbed her temples, feeling confused. She almost wished that Julia hadn't told her more about the cause of her illness. It still didn't make sense to her. Broderick O'Neil was supposed to lead the Advance team, not her. Since the Council had planted a bomb on the ship *and* sabotaged their cargo release mechanisms, a plot to kill her seemed superfluous. Though it was possible that factions of the Council operated independently of one another, each devising their own schemes to dominate G889.
Last night Yale explained to her that the device which delivered the poison to her system had to have been surgically implanted within the lining of her stomach. The thought sent a chill down her spine. Surgery? When would this have occurred? She couldn't recall any 'lost' time before their launch. Had the Council bribed her private physician? Or had a group of Council scientists broken into her home to perform this dastardly deed, violating her privacy and her body? Once she naively believed that her wealth protected her from these types of threats.
Yet Julia hadn't found any traces of the poison delivery system in her body. She and Yale didn't feel this fact detracted from their theory but a disturbing alternative idea began to form in Devon's mind. On the Stations, she was merely an annoyance to the Council. But on G889, she was Uly's mother. Mother of the child who had formed a unique link with the Terrians. Controlling her child could mean controlling the planet. But only Reilly/Eve and the surviving members of the Advance team were aware of these events. The implications horrified her.
Fear hovered over her like a dark cloud from which she couldn't escape. To her dismay, her normal defense mechanisms weren't working. *It must be due to my illness* she told herself. She wasn't strong enough yet - that must be it. That must have been why she had allowed John Danziger to visit her every night, to hold her hand and speak softly to her. That must have been why she had let down her guard and permitted him to draw closer to her. His tender attention meant a lot to her. More than she could admit to anyone.
His kiss had taken her off guard, it had both thrilled and terrified her. A part of her she thought was long dead reawakened with his touch, and began to clamor for satisfaction. However her fear prevailed. In the past opening herself up to people had lead to trouble. She couldn't handle the possibility of being hurt again.
A rustling in the bushes caused Devon to grab her clothes. As she rushed to pull her shirt over her head, she wondered if her baby-sitter had come to retrieve her. After she pulled on her pants, she looked up to discover that the sound had not been created by a member of the Eden crew.
(end of part 3)
"Boundaries", Part 4
by Joan Powers
WHAM. Bess chopped a squash with a savage blow. WHAM, her blade came down again. Her brow was furrowed as she concentrated on her task with her long curly hair held back loosely by a ribbon.
"Whoa honey, what's the matter?" Morgan asked, startled by the sound of his wife's activity. Before moving any closer to her, he quickly reviewed the events of the last day or two - did he do anything to cause her anger? Drawing a blank, he cautiously edged towards her and gave a tentative smile. As Bess looked up at him, her tense expression turned into a more pleasant one. He sighed, what ever it was - it wasn't his fault. He could handle this.
"What's wrong? What are you upset about?" He placed a hand on her shoulder and began to massage it gently.
She was slow to respond. "Let's just say that Devon and I had words."
"Oh" Morgan's eyes opened wider, indicating his understanding. "Where is she now?"
"I don't know" Bess quickly replied.
"What - what do you mean? You don't know exactly - that's it, right?" He stammered, trying to lead his wife into giving a more acceptable response.
"No, I don't know. She told me to leave her alone." Her words were terse, her anger still evident in her tone.
"But Bess, it was your job to keep on eye on her today. She's still not well." Beads of sweat began to break out above his upper lip, in addition to the heat of the day, he was fearful of incurring Danziger's wrath.
"Morgan, don't tell me what I already know. She's probably fine. She went to the stream to take a bath. She had her gear. I'm sure she'll be back soon. I just couldn't stand the thought of putting up with her attitude all day. I couldn't do it. She keeps insisting on doing things she's not ready for."
Her husband sank down beside her onto the fallen log which served as her seat. He grasped one of her hands as she continued,
"I thought we were making some head way. I know Devon and I will never be best friends but... I don't understand her. All we're trying to do is help her and she's acting like she resents us. The entire camp has gone out of their way for her and she has yet to act the least bit grateful."
"She did thank us all the first night she was strong enough to join us for dinner" her husband gently reminded.
"But that's it. Now she's acting like we're the enemy and I'm sick of it."
A gear transmission issued from the set about Morgan's neck interrupted their conversation. " Hey Martin, hurry up. We haven't got all day."
Morgan rolled his eyes and commented sarcastically, "Duty calls."
Devon's hands flew forward as she stumbled, her foot landing on a protruding root. As the ground rushed up to meet her, her hands and arms scraped against the rocky path. Grimacing in pain, she gradually pulled herself up to assess the damage. A gash in the palm of her right hand which was bleeding profusely commanded her attention. She yanked out her shirt tail to tear off some of the fabric and used the cloth to apply pressure to the wound. As she held the cloth tightly against her palm, she noticed several scrapes and bleeding cuts on her arms as well. She managed to control the bleeding of her palm wound then fashioned a crude bandage using more of her T-shirt.
Unnerved by her clumsiness, she remained seated on the ground as she collected her thoughts and dabbed at her other cuts with a clean piece of cloth. Why was she having so many coordination problems? More importantly, how had she managed to get herself into this situation?
When she realized that a Grendler was watching her at the pond, she had dressed rapidly to follow it. Her immediate thought was that it could lead her to food sources or at least to his lair. She acted hastily, for her swim had rejuvenated her and she was anxious to help out with their food situation. Unfortunately she had forgotten how quickly those creatures could move, he eluded her within fifteen minutes. While she was disappointed and it wasn't in her nature to give up easily, her tracking skills were adequate at best so she decided to return to camp to alert the others to the Grendler's presence.
Returning to camp. Seemingly a simple proposition. Yet, she had been in such a nasty mood that morning, she hadn't paid much attention to her route during her trip to the pond. To make matters worse, during her most recent trek her eyes had been fixed upon the Grendler, not on her path or any distinctive landmarks along the way. This wooded area was much larger than she had originally perceived it to be.
Keeping her wits about her, she reassured herself - it was still early, there was plenty of daylight left and she had her gear with her. Though she was loathe to call camp to tell them that she was lost and needed directions. Especially in the condition she was in. Everything within her being resisted that approach. She didn't want to give the camp, particularly Bess, more ammunition to use against her. She would rest a few minutes then try it again. She had been in worse situations. Her cuts had stopped bleeding and once she caught her breath, she was confident that she could figure this out herself. She didn't need to be 'rescued'.
As her eyelids fell shut momentarily, her level of fatigue frightened her. Immediately, she sprang up and pushed herself to continue to search for the pond or their camp.
As she finished preparing some vegetables for their evening meal, Bess looked up to discover True trudging into camp. The young girl was moving sluggishly, practically dragging her feet.
"Hey True, what are you doing back?" Bess asked with rising concern. She had seen the children and Yale go off exploring over an hour ago. "Anything wrong?"
She shrugged and mumbled, "I don't feel so good. Yale told me to come back and lie down." She began to move towards her tent.
"I'll contact Julia and your Dad " She reached for her gear.
"No! Please, you don't have to bother either of them. I'll be fine." True insisted as she whirled about and approached her. "I think I just got too hot."
It was hard for Bess to tell if the redness in the little girl's cheeks was caused by too much sun or embarrassment. True didn't like to attract undue attention to herself.
"It is pretty warm today." Bess removed the ribbon which contained her own long locks and she began to braid her hair as she spoke, "I know a place where we can cool off. Can you walk further or do you need to rest first?"
"I think I can make it to the pond if we go slowly. But do you think it'll be okay with my Dad?" A worried furrow appeared across her forehead. Her father seemed so edgy lately that she didn't want to do anything which might add to his concerns.
"I'm sure your Dad would want you to feel better. Remember what happened to Magus and Cameron the other day? They got sick because they became over heated. We don't want that happening to you. C'mon, I'm going to let Yale know that you made it back to camp safely then we'll get some canteens and towels and head over to the pond. I need to see how Devon's doing anyway."
The afternoon sun shone relentlessly upon the two women whose bodies glistened with perspiration as they hiked through the woods towards the pond. They moved slowly, taking in the scenery -- not wanting to further aggravate the young girl's weakened condition.
"Is Devon ever going to be completely well?" True meekly asked. It had scared her to see someone she had remembered as a vibrant, energetic person become so weak and for a short time, subdued. The fact that almost three weeks had elapsed since Devon had returned to the group and she still slept more than half the day as well as the night disturbed her. It didn't seem right. Were the adults hiding something from her?
"Of course she is. It just takes time -- that's all" Bess assured her.
"But I thought the Terrians cured her. Uly was better overnight - why isn't it the same for Devon?" The young girl pressed her -- eager for answers, for it bothered her father to talk about this issue.
The older woman paused thoughtfully. "You know, I'm not sure True. Alonzo seemed to think it had something to do with the fact that Uly is a child and Devon, an adult. There are lots of things I don't understand about the Terrians and this planet. Let's just be glad that the Terrians have helped us out." She placed a friendly hand lightly upon the girl's shoulder as they continued to walk and chat amiably.
"Here we are." Bess paused and nervously scanned the pond area. Devon was no where in sight. *God, where is she?* she gasped. She turned to True who met her gaze with wide eyes.
"Where is she?" the little girl echoed.
*Don't panic. Think a minute.* Bess assured herself. Then it came to her. "I'll bet she was walking back as we were coming down here."
"Wouldn't we have run into her?"
"Not necessarily" she admitted with a pang of guilt. She averted her eyes as she explained, "Um, Devon and I had...oh...a disagreement before she headed off to the pond. I'm probably the last person she wants to see. If she heard us approaching, she may have purposely avoided us. She was pretty insistent that she wanted to be alone today."
True stared at Bess, not fully comprehending all that she had said. Sometimes grownups just didn't make sense. "Why is she mad at you?"
She tried to be diplomatic, fully aware that whatever she told the child would be relayed in some fashion to her father, whom she didn't want to offend. "True, have you ever been sick?"
She nodded. She had the usual childhood ailments -- occasional colds, flu and once she had the chicken pox. And she had been afflicted by the near failure of the bio-stat implants just as everyone else had.
"I mean, really sick -- for weeks or longer. I know I haven't been."
True peeled off her outer garments and eased herself into the water as she considered Bess's response. Ah-- that was nice, she was already beginning to feel much better. Oh, back to Bess-- well...what was the difference between the two? Nobody liked to feel bad.
"I think Devon is starting to feel stronger so she thinks she's completely cured and wants to do everything that she did before her illness. But her body isn't ready yet, it won't allow her to do all of them. This is bothering her so she's taking out her anger on us." Some resentment crept into her voice as she finished her statement.
The young girl quietly absorbed this information. Hmm...while it didn't make complete sense to her, perhaps that would account for part of her father's moodiness.
"Devon? Devon? Are you there?" Bess crouched down near the ground as she spoke into her gear. "Devon" Her tone became more insistent as her own anger began to rekindle. Had that obstinate woman actually turned off her gear to ensure her privacy?
True reached up, tugging her arm with a dripping hand to offer an alternative explanation. "Maybe she's asleep back at camp. I don't think she'd hear the signal."
Bess breathed a sigh of relief. Yes, of course that was it. They both could attest to how solidly that woman slept these days. Before joining True in the water, Bess tried to reach camp to confirm this but no one was responding to her. While she was uneasy about the situation, she noticed her young charge was looking better. She needed to rest and cool off longer before they could return to camp. Besides, they wouldn't be out long.
(end of part 4)
"Boundaries", Part 5
by Joan Powers
"What do you mean you don't know where she is?" the image of Danziger, barely containing his fury, growled at Bess over the eye piece of her gear.
"I thought she was sleeping in her tent" was her stricken reply. "She's not answering her gear. We're concentrating our search efforts around the pond. That was where she was going when I last saw her. Morgan and I are taking the southern end." Her guilt was overwhelming her, practically suffocating her. She knew she couldn't rest until Devon was located.
"No. Just keep a *close* eye on the kids. Danziger out" he barked.
Morgan put an arm about his wife's shoulder, "Honey, you did the best that you could. They'll find her."
She drew back, "No Morgan. I didn't do the best that I could. I made some poor assumptions and used bad judgment. After fighting with Devon this afternoon, I forgot that I was actually dealing with a sick woman." She turned towards her husband and added, "Oh God, Morgan. What if something has happened to her? She's not answering her gear. What if she's fallen and hurt herself? And it's all my fault." She rested her head against her husband's chest as he stroked her hair.
"It's going to be all right Bess" he crooned.
"I have to help look for her. It's gonna be dark soon. The poor woman is probably exhausted. What if she gets weaker? What if she gets sicker?" *And it's all my fault.*
"Stop torturing yourself Bess. Um...Alonzo and I are going out to join the others searching. We need you to watch the kids."
Bess withdrew, feeling somewhat betrayed by her husband.
Sensing this, Morgan ineptly sought to comfort her. "You know....you did a good thing helping True out today. Somebody needs to make sure that she stays okay. You're good with the kids, I know you'll do a great job honey." He kissed her forehead gently and met her gaze, which had softened some.
Stepping away from his wife, he turned to join the pilot who had been discretely hanging back, "Let's go."
The sun was descending in the horizon, night was on its way. Devon's head rested against her knees as she sat on the ground leaning her back against a large rock. She took slow, deep, deliberate breaths to try to keep herself calm. After briefly wandering around, she hadn't located any landmarks or even seen a trace of the Eden Advance team. To make matters worse, at one point she sat down to rest and inadvertently fell asleep. She wasn't completely sure how much time had elapsed during that period, the impending darkness indicated that it had to have been several hours. Yet her body was still weary and she was having trouble maintaining her rising anxiety as well as her body temperature.
She knew she couldn't walk any further, she didn't have the strength. With no other options to consider and the threat of darkness, she finally broke down and decided to swallow her pride and contact camp. She'd figure out how to deal with the humiliation later, presently she was too exhausted to care.
She placed her gear on her head and pressed the buttons to activate it. "Adair to camp. Anybody there?" No response. She couldn't see or hear anything. Then she realized that she hadn't heard any familiar bleeps of the electronics. In a panic she ripped the set off her head and fiddled with some of the buttons. Nothing -- it was dead.
Didn't John repair her gear last night? He would never have returned the set to her unless it was fully operational. Had Uly grabbed the wrong set or had it broken during a fall? What had happened?
But the actual answer to that question was irrelevant. Her safety net had fallen through. Now she was in a difficult situation and only had herself to blame. Biting back a sob, she slammed the gear against the ground.
What was she going to do?
Eventually the Eden Advance would locate her, or at least she could try to rest and resume her search in the morning. Neither of the two prospects were particularly appealing. The twin moons hadn't been shinning as brightly so the approaching night sky seemed ominous to her. Her stomach growled for food and her aching muscles screamed from unaccustomed exertion. The stinging of her wounds added to her misery.
The idea of the group searching for her distressed her as well. It would be mortifying to be found in this condition - covered with dirt and bloody scrapes from her falls. And everyone knowing that she had brought this situation on herself.
She pulled her knees closer to her chest, it was already getting cooler. And the muscles in her legs were getting stiffer. Would she even be able to walk in the morning? Julia had warned her repeatedly not to wear herself out, stating that her immune system was still recovering and not yet fully functional, making her more susceptible to diseases. The last thing in the world Devon wanted was to feel worse.
What types of wild creatures lived in these woods? Would they scurry across her chest if she lay down to rest? She shivered -- that was a revolting thought. What if there were penal colonists around the area? She was completely defenseless -- what was she going to do?
A familiar litany began to automatically repeat in her head. She didn't need help from anybody. She wasn't used to being rescued - she knew how to take care of herself. She didn't need anyone.
A small voice inside of her threatened to tear down her precarious frame work. *You don't need anybody? What about Yale? Could you have faced those first board meetings without his support and constant belief in you? He was always there, providing you with sound advice. He has always believed in you. Remember -- you cried yourself to sleep in his arms many nights - when you found out Mother had died, when Uly was officially diagnosed with The Syndrome. Don't be a fool Devon. Everyone needs and depends upon other people, you're just too stubborn to admit it.*
Just as she was about to agree with the little voice to make it shut up, it had to add, *And what's this business about not used to being rescued. True, your parents didn't make it a habit to intercede in your business, but what about Sheppard?*
Her lower lip began to tremble and she bit down to steady it. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes. While that was certainly an unconventional relationship, he had provided desperately needed emotional support and had shown her the key to her son's salvation.
//I heard your cry so I had to come.//
Maybe she wasn't as emotionally self sufficient as she thought she was.
But that wasn't what her former husband Mark had felt. It hurt to think about him so she generally kept a tight lid on those memories. One day she would have to tell her son about his father but...she was afraid. She was frightened that her son might accuse her of chasing away his father and that her news would alienate her from him.
Mark was a wonderful man. Handsome in a sophisticated manner with broad shoulders (though not quite as broad as John Danizger's), smart, sometimes funny, very imaginative. They had made a stunning couple. They met during the early days of Adair Enterprises when she had been continually elated by the novelty of her phenomenal success. Their courtship had been a whirlwind process - parties, lunches, the whole social scene. Getting married seemed to be the best way for them to coordinate their hectic schedules.
Her tears began to flow freely. The lid had been moved and she didn't have the strength to push it back -- she was obligated to continue. She still didn't fully understand why he left her. Their lives had been going so well, or so it seemed to her. They had friends, successful businesses and both exerted power and influence in their own circles. Unfortunately, her circles had been much larger than his. She always thought that had been his problem, coping with the fact that his wife had more prestige than he did.
The scene of their farewell came to mind. She had come home earlier than usual, especially excited about the upcoming arrival of their child within several months and the success of her latest design project. Her radiant mood was irrevocably altered when she opened the door of their bedroom to find her husband packing his bags. Stunned, she hung by the doorway.
"Our contract is up" he mentioned as he turned to place some sweaters into a bag. It was a feeble opening and he knew it.
"What?" Her heart sank. This was totally unexpected.
He became braver and actually looked into his wife's face, "Four years, they've gone by."
She tried to laugh, this had to be a joke. A bad joke. Otherwise there was no reasonable explanation. "You..don't want to renew?"
"No" He turned to snap shut his suitcase then placed it on the floor beside another bag.
"Why not?"
"There are many reasons, let's just leave it at that." His obvious discomfort revealed to her that this had not been a spur of the moment decision.
"Come on. We have to talk about this. I don't understand." Devon drew nearer to him.
"No, we don't. I'm sorry Devon. I just can't stay." He pulled back from her as he spoke, continuing to gather his things.
*What a coward* Devon thought while looking back, *Even Danziger would have given me hell about his reasons. Not...that.*
Mark picked up his bags and moved towards the door. "I've taken the assets we originally agreed upon in our contract. I'll come back later for the rest of my things."
"But what about your child? Don't you have an obligation to him?" she replied angrily. *Don't you want to be with me?* screamed inside her head but she couldn't bring herself to say it. She did love him and she didn't want him to leave.
"Devon, a man has obligations to himself that he has to fulfill too. I can't do that here. I'm sorry." He stepped into the living room with Devon trailing close behind.
"You can't do this. You can't leave me. What am I going to do?"
Before he walked out the door of their unit, he said "You'll be okay Devon. You see, you never really needed me." She never saw Mark again.
(end of part 5)
"Boundaries", Part 6
by Joan Powers
"Hey True-girl" her father's deep voice softly rumbled and she felt his hand brush against her cheek. "How are ya feeling?"
She stirred, opening her eyes. By the low glow of the lumalight in her tent, she could see her father kneeling by her cot, his face was level with her own. Instantly she sensed that they had not found Devon yet. Worry lines were clearly evident about his eyes which lacked their usual luster and warmth. She smiled weakly, "Hi Dad. I'm okay."
Her father placed his large hand over her smaller one and squeezed it gently. "Gotta keep you safe, baby-girl."
She hated seeing her Dad so frightened. But he would never admit that he was. That was one of his many attributes that she admired. She squeezed his hand back, half afraid to ask. "Did you find her?" He shook his head.
"Dad, you're mostly looking around the pond - right?"
"Sure, that was the place she was headed toward" he absently responded. "We've also fanned out, in case she got lost on her way there or back."
"But maybe she saw something while she was at the stream and went to investigate."
"You may have something there Sport." He bent over to give her a peck on the cheek. "Love you. Get some sleep." He tousled her hair as she replied,
"Love you too Dad"
At least his little girl was all right, Danziger reminded himself as he crept out of their tent. Thank God for that. He didn't want to alarm his daughter but he was convinced that Devon had severely injured herself or encountered a hostile penal colonist. For that reason he had insisted that the search groups carry arms as a safety precaution.
It wasn't like Devon not to answer her gear. That was his flaw, not hers. And he had fixed that set only the night before. Her lack of response to their repeated hailings could only indicate that she *couldn't* respond -- a thought which chilled him to the bone.
"You ready?" Walman called over to Danziger.
The mechanic grunted as he shouldered a Mag-Pro then strode over to the other man. A child's cry caused them to freeze momentarily. The two men exchanged glances.
"We don't want to waste any time" Walman commented with some urgency.
Danziger looked towards Yale's tent where sounds of Uly's cries continued, "Just give me a minute."
He hurried towards the tent. As he ducked to peer into it via the open flap he could see Bess trying to soothe the boy. She was perched on the edge of his cot with her arms wrapped about him.
"It's gonna be okay Uly. We're gonna find her."
"But where is she? I don't want to lose her again. It's not fair!" he sobbed.
"We haven't lost her yet. Everybody's out looking for her and you know they're not gonna stop until they find her." She assured him as she began to stroke his curls.
"Can't I help look for her?" he pleaded.
"I think your Mom would want you safe at camp. Don't you?" She wrapped her arms tighter around the child.
As Bess looked up and caught Danziger's gaze, her cheeks became slightly flushed. A look of gratitude crossed over the man's face as he silently nodded to her then backed out of the tent.
Despite her exhaustion and the throbbing of her aching body, her fear galvanized her - alerting her to every sound that surrounded her in the inky darkness. Somehow, she had never gotten over her childish phobia of the dark. She shuddered as she sat bolt upright with her knees drawn to tightly to her chest. Perhaps she could curl herself up in a little ball so the night terrors would avoid her. For once Devon fervently prayed that the oblivion of sleep would come so she could escape her misery.
She continued to torment herself by reviewing her failed marriage. *Never really needed him* she had spent months, even years mulling over that statement. Eventually she had come to the conclusion that it might have been true. While she had missed Mark dreadfully, her companies still ran well and she immensely enjoyed being a parent. She managed to convince herself that she was better off without him.
But she could have handled the situation differently. It wasn't like her just to give up without a fight. If she hadn't been so obstinate and prideful, she could have told Mark how much she loved him and how her life would not have seemed complete without him. Perhaps it wouldn't have made a difference, but she should have tried. Why hadn't she?
It didn't matter -- she had survived without him, in fact she had done well. But wouldn't it have been wonderful for Uly to know his father? For Uly to discover for himself where his outrageous imagination had come from? For him to experience the love of two parents, instead of one? If she had made more of an effort that day, perhaps she could have persuaded Mark to stay and work things out.
Finally, after nearly nine and a half years, as she sat huddled in the dark, she admitted the truth to herself. Why she hadn't tried harder that day. Mark had been one of the few people in her life who made her feel special. Loved and cherished. She had adored him as well. Their marriage had seemed wonderful to her. Her husband's announcement about not renewing their contract had destroyed her illusion of their perfect life and deeply wounded her. She couldn't even imagine that Mark would have done such a thing, she trusted him implicitly and felt that she could depend upon him. He himself had joked that contracts were a mere formality.
At that moment when he announced that he was leaving, she hadn't wanted to give him the opportunity to hurt her even more. Frankly, she was also terrified to hear what awful things she might have done to drive him away. So for once in her life, she was a coward. She played it safe and kept quiet, leaving things as they were.
Was she about to put herself in a vulnerable position again? Her own words came back to her,
//I can't believe how much I've come to depend upon that man. And maybe more...//
Her face grew warm as she recalled that blunder. She must have been terrified at the time to actually say that out loud. And in front of Alonzo, of all people. From that time on, he continued to give her teasing glances at potentially embarrassing moments.
John must have heard her words. The moment they shared while watching the waves on the beach had confirmed that to her. Actually, she realized that he was attracted to her earlier than that. But at that point on the beach, he seemed to understand that while she had feelings towards him as well, she was confused and had other issues she had to work out first -- other commitments which required her full attention. For a while, he had respected the boundary that she had set up.
But after she had been revived from cold sleep, instantly she sensed something had changed within him. For the first week or so she had been too disoriented to fight it, so she unabashedly clung to the support he provided. His overture the other night indicated that his patience was growing shorter. He needed more from her. She wasn't ready. But she wasn't sure how to keep stalling him, for he deserved better than that.
Yet at that moment, instead of huddling in the dark feeling cold, scared, and rotten, she would have given anything to be in John Danziger's arms. To be snuggling up close to his chest so she could hear his breathing and the beating of his heart. To be close enough to smell his scent. To have his large callused hands gently caressing her shoulders and his deep voice softly murmuring in her ear. It would have been heaven.
But if she gave in to her desires, would she be repeating her own history - having a wonderful relationship for the first year or two only to have the man she loved leave her again? Would John Danziger leave once that colony ship arrived? Could she afford to take that risk?
Alonzo held his luma light at different angles, attempting to improve his limited range of vision. As he painstakingly searched the underbrush his less than helpful partner, Morgan Martin, had his rear end parked on the ground. He shoved Morgan's shoulder with a little more force than necessary, "C'mon, we have to keep moving."
"Hey, I'm going as fast as I can. I'm tired. After searching for food all day, how can you expect me to have tons of energy this late at night?" he lamented rather pathetically.
"You think I'm not tired? I was up at least two hours before you got your lazy butt out of bed."
The politician attempted to glare at him but the pilot stared back with greater intensity.
"And what about Devon? How do you think she's feeling right now?" Alonzo argued, fed up by the man's incessant complaining.
"But don't you think our search would be more effective if we continued in the morning?" Morgan let out a huge yawn to punctuate his statement.
"If Devon's run into trouble, she might not have 'til morning" he grimly replied.
Unable to think of a fitting retort, Morgan rose to join his companion.
"Alonzo, are you there?" Julia voice came over the pilot's gear. He adjusted his gear and replied,
"What's happening?"
"We found her."
The two men exchanged looks of relief. But the tone of Julia's voice bothered Alonzo. "Is she okay?"
"I *think* so. Her body temperature is pretty high. Baines and Cameron are going to carry her back to camp."
(end of part 6)
Comments? - Rpowers702@aol.com
"Boundaries", Part 7
by Joan Powers
Her world seemed hazy, almost 'fuzzy'. She felt as if she were wrapped up in some sort of protective cocoon which was warm and safe -- she didn't want to ever leave.
But a distant voice kept prodding her, she couldn't make out what is was saying. She didn't especially care. She stirred slightly, trying to get more comfortable when the voice became more coherent,
"Mom! Mom!"
*Uly? Where are you?*
His voice became louder, "Can you hear me Mom?"
Her eyelids were far too heavy to open. She was vaguely aware that her son was holding her hand so she tried to squeeze his small hand back. It took a surprising amount of effort. *Guess I'm not dead* she thought as deep sleep overtook her.
Other voices, both male and female, intermittently floated around her but she lacked the ability to fully comprehend them or respond to them. She realized that words like "compromised immune system", "lost ground" and "highly susceptible to opportunist infections" should bother her, but oddly enough -- they didn't. She was content to rest in her protective haven.
In addition to the voices, there were also hands -- touching her. Some tenderly clasped her hand, interlocking their fingers between hers, or wiped her forehead with a cool cloth, while others examined her body in a more clinical fashion.
Eventually the haze began to lift and she became curious about the voices. She was able to pry open her eyelids for short glimpses into the real world. The first sight to greet her had been her Teacher vigilantly perched by her bedside. Other times she observed Dr. Heller's serious frown as she concentrated on examining her patient with her diaglove. Uly's worried but smiling face frequently beamed at her, and even John had sat by her side covering her hand with his own.
She had no idea had much time had actually elapsed before she finally had sufficient energy to turn her head and attempt to speak.
"Devon!" Yale gleefully replied as he noticed her stirring, "How are you feeling?"
As she cleared her throat, which was painfully dry, Yale brought a glass of water to her mouth.
"Here, drink this." He supported her back to allow her to sit up and sip the water.
"Yale, what's going on?" Devon croaked.
"You've been ill Devon. As Julia had feared, since your immune system is not fully restored you're more susceptible to infection. These cuts on your hand and arms became infected. You had trouble fighting it off. You're lucky we found you when we did, you had a pretty high fever."
Though she hated to ask, she knew she must, "How long have I been out?"
"Two days."
Devon closed her eyes and lay back on her cot. Two entire days? More lost time. The thought rankled her.
"What happened out there Devon?" Yale asked nervously.
She sat up as she collected her thoughts, "Hmm, I swam in the pond. Then I did...something else." Her mind wasn't fully up to speed. *What else did I do?*
"We presumed you got lost on the way back from the pond. But we found you on the side of the pond opposite our camp. Did you run into trouble?" The fear in his eyes was evident.
"Oh no!" It came back to her in a flash. "I saw a Grendler and tried to follow it."
"What? Devon, why didn't you come back to camp first?" Yale's tone sounded suspiciously like the one he used to admonish Uly.
As all the details flooded into her mind she remembered her own anger. And stubbornness. Yale wasn't going to let her get away with a feeble excuse, he knew her too well. She'd have to come clean.
"I was tired of feeling useless and wanted to do something to help the group" she admitted as she pretended to examine the bandages on her hand and arms.
"Oh. I see. Scarring us all half to death for almost three days helps the group" he sternly responded.
Devon felt as if she were nine years old again and caught in the midst of a childhood prank. With hot cheeks and downcast eyes she mumbled, "I guess not."
"What happened to your gear?" This question had obviously been bothering him.
"I..don't know. When I tried to use it, it was dead" she stammered. *Please don't ask when I tried to use it.*
"When was this?" he asked, noticing her obvious discomfort.
"About dusk." Her confession was barely audible. She became tense, anticipating that Yale would scold her. But he was silent. She darted a quick glance towards him.
"Yale? Please talk to me."
"What do you want me to say?" was his soft response.
"Okay, I messed up. I wasn't using my head. I'm sorry." She grabbed one of his hands and squeezed it. Surely Yale understood how difficult it was for her to say those words.
"Maybe that will do for me, but what about the rest of the camp?"
"What do you mean?" Her reply was muffled.
"Don't you think you owe them an explanation?"
Mortified Devon pulled back from him and cried, "I can't do that. Please, don't tell anybody." It was embarrassing enough for her to admit her mistake to her long standing confidant. But to tell the entire group? To set herself up to face their possible anger or disapproval? She couldn't do it. She *wouldn't* do it. After all, she had learned from her father that it was a mistake to show weakness. It would be best to downplay the incident and just let it blow over. Things would get back to normal soon enough.
"You're not a child. I'll tell everyone the facts. That you tried to follow the Grendler and got lost. And that your gear was broken. However you decide to handle the rest is up to you. But keep in mind that every member of this camp has gone out of his way for you. I think you owe them something" Yale reminded her.
"Hey Dad!" True shouted over to her father who was lying on his back with his body partly wedged beneath the Dune Rail, "Devon's awake again -- wanna go see her?" She scampered over with a grin on her face, figuring that this news would make her father happy. To her surprise, he didn't look up from his work.
"No. I'll go later" he sharply replied.
True froze, she recognized that tone of voice. Her father wasn't just mad, he was furious. She began to breath rapidly, panicked that something had happened. "Daddy are you okay?"
"I'm *fine*" was his blunt reply. As a show of his good will, he crawled out from beneath the Rail to look at his daughter. Despite his rotten mood, the sight of his little girl always brought a smile to his lips. More gently, he added, "I'll be all right True-girl. Why don't you go ahead."
"But...I could help you." She didn't want to desert her father if he needed her.
He shook his head. "Thanks but I'm sure Julia could use your help. I just need some time to myself. I'll talk with you later."
She nodded and backed away slowly as her father reached for a wrench then returned to his work. What was going on? She knew he hadn't been sleeping much lately. Perhaps that was it? He had spent so much time by Devon's side the past few days that she thought he would have jumped at the chance to talk with her.
She headed back towards the main camp, for the vehicles had been parked a short distance away on a flatter surface. On her way to Devon's tent, she over heard a statement which caught her attention, causing her to pause.
"Why should we be mad at Devon? She tried to help us out by tracking the Grendler" a voice insisted.
Was that Walman? What was going on? She discretely paused behind a tent which obscured her from view of the people having the conversation.
"Come off it, she shouldn't have even been out by herself. She pushed the limits and made herself sicker" Magus's voice claimed.
"Okay, I know I shouldn't have let her go off by herself" Bess voice said with heartfelt guilt.
"That's not the point" another voiced added. "If Devon had used her head, stayed by the pond and called back to camp when she saw the Grendler this whole mess could have been avoided."
"Don't you think you ladies are being a bit harsh? Look at what the poor woman's been through. Can you blame her for wanting a little privacy?" Walman's voice argued in her defense.
"But look what she put us through. All the anguish. Searching for her half the night. This infection could have killed her. And what about poor Uly and Yale?" Magus's voice retorted.
"What about poor Danziger?" Bess's voice added.
Walman chuckled, "He's got it bad."
True's eyes grew wider. She had heard enough so she hurried over to Devon's tent. Julia greeted her as she entered,
"Hi True. Can you help me?" The doctor was seated on a camp stool beside Devon's cot. Her hand and arms had been unbandaged, revealing several gashes which were a dull red color.
"Why do they look like that?" True pointed to Devon's wounds.
The doctor explained, "They look much better than they did two days ago. Since Devon's immune system is weak, they got infected and it's taking some time for them to heal. Here, hold her arm steady. I want to irradiate the cuts with this instrument. It'll sting a little Devon."
The other woman nodded, acknowledging Julia's statement.
"I'll need to irradiate about half a minute in each sector, okay?" conferring with her helper. True nodded and complied with Julia's directives. The doctor pressed a button on the small hand held monitor to produce a glowing red light. She suspended these beams over each of the wounds.
"Why are you doing this?" True asked.
"Infections are caused by foreign micro-organisms. I'm helping Devon's body kill these invaders by using this technique. Unfortunately she wasn't strong enough for us to try this before now. I'm also hoping to stimulate faster regeneration of the tissue."
Several minutes later Julia turned off her instrument and checked with her patient, "How are you feeling?"
"Okay" Devon replied as she tentatively flexed her fingers.
"Thanks for your assistance True. I'll be back in a few minutes to apply fresh bandages." Julia stepped out of the tent.
True turned to face Devon, prepared to glare nastily at her for upsetting her father and the rest of the camp. But the woman looked so pale and tired, not even as good as she had looked before she got lost. More charitable thoughts rushed into the little girl's mind as she asked, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm just tired" the older woman wearily answered.
"Were you scared?" Being lost alone in the woods most of the night sounded pretty creepy to True.
"A little" Devon smiled weakly towards the girl. "Where's your Dad?"
"He's busy" the young girl quipped, her defensive posture returned.
"Is something wrong?" she asked with alarm.
Though it was apparent to her that something or most likely some *one* was bothering her father, she wasn't about to share that information with the probable enemy camp. "Don't think so. Since we've been stuck here, he figures it's a good opportunity to re-check the vehicles. Pretty standard procedure."
"Oh" Devon seemed disappointed.
"Good morning Devon" Bess announced flatly, lacking her typical cheeriness as she entered her tent then produced an unusual type of fruit for her breakfast.
"What is this?" Devon scrutinized the object. It was oblong, almost like a cucumber with a dull brown skin.
"It's pretty good. Try it. Alonzo and Morgan found a whole bunch of them so I've been playing around with recipes."
Devon took a tentative bite. "Not bad."
Bess took a breath and sat down on the camp stool by Devon's cot. "I think we need to clear the air here. I'm sorry I lost my temper with you the other day. But regardless of your feelings, I should never have let you go off by yourself."
Devon was stunned by her directness and took a moment to respond, ""I...I would have done the same thing in your position. Look, it doesn't matter anymore. I'm back and I'm safe, that's all that's important. Let's forget about it, okay?" She offered a weak smile.
The other woman bristled slightly, "I don't know if it's that simple. You scared the hell out of us." *And if one of us had behaved in that fashion, you would have given the guilty party a tongue lashing that he'd never forget.*
Despite her weakened condition, Devon proceeded to commander the conversation forcefully stating, "But it's over now. Let's just move on."
Bess thought to challenge her but she recognized that her opponent was better versed in these matters than she was. This was probably the only form of an 'apology' that she was going to get from Ms. Adair so she might as well make due with it. But she suspected that certain others might not be so willing to forgive and forget.
To cut off any further reprise from Bess, Devon artfully changed the subject, "Are we going to move on today?"
"Don't think so. Danziger wants to make sure that you're okay first"
Devon frowned, "I could ride in the back of the Trans Rover. I hate for us to lose all this time."
"Hey, I'm not the person to convince."
"Have you seen John lately?" Devon was trying to be casual, but not succeeding. "Is he okay?" She bit her lip nervously.
"He's thrown himself into tinkering with those vehicles." Bess replied. Seeing Devon's crestfallen expression, she felt she had to say more, even though she wasn't pleased with the woman. "Do you want to know what I think?"
"What?" She half whispered.
As Bess opened her mouth, Devon blurted out, "No. I think I can figure it out myself."
(end of part 7)
"Boundaries", Part 8
by Joan Powers
Another day had begun and the Eden Advance still had not broken camp. Devon tossed fretfully on her cot. All of her attempts to get the group in motion were met by the same infuriating response that Bess had given her. Danziger refused to budge. That man annoyed her. If he was so concerned about her health, why hadn't he bothered to come by to see her?
He couldn't still be mad at her for her pulling away from his kiss. She had seen him by her bedside. She had heard him whisper in her ear, "C'mon baby, you have to pull through" and had felt him holding her hand. But ever since her fever had broken and she became cognizant, she hadn't seen him -- at all. She punched her blanket with her healthy hand as she formulated a plan.
Her fever had broken three days ago but Julia insisted that she continue to rest and build up her strength. Yet Devon struggled to plant her feet on the ground. If Danziger wouldn't come to her, then she would have to go to him. She fumbled with her laces as she tied her boots then moved cautiously, for her memory of her recent accident in the forest was all too vivid.
Arriving at the tent flap, she furtively poked her head through the opening. Some people were resting around the camp fire area and others were busily organizing new food stocks. She'd have to move quickly and quietly to avoid attracting their attention. Otherwise they'd send her back to her tent immediately. After silently counting to three, she forced herself to dash in the direction of the vehicles.
Only a few steps later as she reached some trees which bordered her tent, she panicked and grabbed a nearby trunk. A nauseating dizziness overtook her. She leaned heavily against the tree, impatiently waiting for the sensation to go away. She promised herself that she would rest once she accomplished her goal, she *had* to get the group on the road.
Eventually the sensation lessened, so she continued to make her way towards the clearing where the vehicles were parked. Beyond a doubt, she knew he would be there. She only prayed that he would be alone. As she edged her way towards the site, her prayers went unanswered. Alonzo was chatting with Danziger. On closer examination, the pilot was talking but John didn't appear to be listening. The mechanic was bent over the Dune Rail, seemingly engrossed in his maintenance duties.
Devon stumbled as she approached them but steadied herself by grabbing a branch. The rustling sound attracted Alonzo's attention. He stopped talking as he saw her, his eyes rapidly filling with surprise and concern. Devon mutely pleaded with him, she just had to talk to John -- alone. Her heart lurched as the pilot took a step forward but it was to tap Danziger on the shoulder, "Hey buddy. There's someone here to see you." He and Devon exchanged weak smiles as he left the two of them.
"What the hell are you doing? You're not supposed to be out of bed!" Danziger angrily claimed as he caught sight of her.
Shocked by his fury, Devon still managed to maintain her composure. Assuming her best commanding tone, she emphatically stated, "I wanted to see you. And since you haven't been by to see me..." He turned away, shaking his head in disgust as she continued, "Danziger, we can not camp here any longer. We've *got* to move on. At this rate the colony ship could arrive at New Pacifica before the hospital is even set up."
"A few days won't make that much of a difference" he gruffly retorted.
"But there's another mountainous area coming up which we have to negotiate before winter or..." The colony ship might reach New Pacifica before they did, she couldn't even say it out loud.
He became more insistent, "Come on, there's a clear route to avoid that area. Just look at Yale's aerial maps."
"We don't know what we're going to encounter along the way there" she argued back.
Danziger's lips formed a cynical twist as he sarcastically commented, "Excuse me, is the eternal optimistic finally realizing that we're facing some pretty challenging circumstances?"
She frowned, perhaps her confidence had been shaken by her near death experience and subsequent physical weakness. Rather than dwelling upon that, Devon simply replied, "We don't have the luxury of time here."
The mechanic turned his body to face her but continued to avoid direct eye contact as he almost casually asked, "Adair, do you have a death wish or something?"
Confused by his question, she replied, "Wha..? No."
"Then why don't you take better care of yourself?" His harsh response became an accusation.
Becoming defensive, she responded, "Wait a minute. We're not talking about me, we're talking about getting the group to New Pacifica."
"I don't think so."
Tension continued to build within her as the implications of Danziger's statement hit Devon. Now she turned away from him to stare at the ground. She wasn't ready for this. She only had enough energy to get her group moving again. Damn him for not understanding!
He stepped towards her, closing the distance between them and roughly jerked her shoulder. His blue eyes bore down upon hers, his voice almost hoarse as he asked, "Why didn't you bother to try your gear before dark?"
She cringed, wondering how he found out. Her thoughts must have registered directly on her face for Danziger continued,
"Yeah, Yale told me. He's my friend too, you know. He wanted me to examine your gear to figure out what happened to it."
She did not want to get into this. But she could also sense that Danziger's fury was covering pain. Pain that she had caused him. She couldn't walk away from that so she attempted to explain herself. Her pride forced her to abbreviate her version of what had happened. "I guess I'm just used to dealing with situations on my own. I was lost and I didn't want to bother anybody at camp. It was the middle of the day and I hadn't traveled that far so I thought I could figure it out myself."
Danziger's fierce gaze still held her, "Why didn't you use your gear after you injured yourself?"
Her blush continued to deepen as she protested, "They're just minor scrapes, they're not that deep. It's not a big deal." More confidently, she dared to taunt him, "I'm sure *you* wouldn't have called back to camp after suffering that type of injury."
"Yeah, but I'm not under doctor's orders to rest since my immune system isn't up to par" he countered without missing a beat.
Touche. Danziger always had been a worthy sparring partner. With most other people she could have bluffed at this point but she wasn't sure it would work with the mechanic. And he wouldn't appreciate being lied to. He was a straight forward type of man -- a quality that she admired and respected in him, once she got used to it.
"Well..." He was waiting, not about to let her off the hook.
She examined the bandage wrapped about her palm as she muttered, "I fell asleep."
"Oh" his voice softened.
"When I woke up, it was getting dark. That's when I tried using my gear." Her face burned with intense embarrassment. She couldn't look him in the eye.
"Devon, the infection that developed in those minor scrapes wouldn't have bothered a healthy person. But with your weak system, it could have killed you."
She could hear the anguish in his voice. She tried to smooth things over using the technique which had worked the other morning on Bess, "It's over, can't we just forget about it and move on?" His stormy glance indicated that he wouldn't buy it.
"Christ Devon, what would you have done if that Grendler wasn't friendly? Or what if you had run into penal colonists? What were you thinking?" His indignation continued to escalate.
He wasn't going to let up. "Damn it John, I just wanted to be alone for a while. And I wanted to do something to help the group." She choked down a horrifying sob which threatened to erupt and blinked rapidly.
"You would have been furious if anyone else in the group had behaved so foolishly. I would have expected something like this from Morgan Martin. Not from you." His voice became louder as he practically shouted, "Did you even think about how your actions would affect others? Did you even care?" He paused a moment then added with sarcasm, "Well, you made it back and you're safe. And now I guess we're supposed to pretend like nothing happened. Nothing *at all*. I guess you got what you wanted Adair. Rich people like you always do." As he spoke he dismissed her, striding away towards the Dune Rail.
His words stung bitterly. For they hit home. She had behaved irresponsibly. And she hadn't been thinking about anyone but herself. Her own resentment and frustration about her situation.
John had given her an escape option. With his back to her, she could easily slip away and they could act as if nothing had happened just now between the two of them. While the option was extremely tempting, she couldn't do it. She knew what she had to do, she owed it to this man whose respect she desired. While the depths of her feelings for him frightened her, the thought of losing his affection frightened her more.
Steeling herself, she took a few steps and touched his sleeve. Taking a breath, she softly said to his back, "I'm sorry. I..didn't mean to hurt you. I wasn't thinking. I'm just...so sick of being a burden to others." Unable to stop herself, the words continued to flow from her, "I hate that I don't have enough energy to put up my own tent everyday or wash my clothes. Or that I can't even wake myself up at a decent hour in the morning. I can't stand being so depend on other people." She closed her eyes tightly and covered her face with her good hand, trying to maintain control.
Within a minute, she was leaning against Danziger's chest, feeling the fabric of his shirt against her cheek, while his arm was wrapped about her shoulder.
"Devon, did you ever feel that Uly was a burden to you?" His voice which had become much gentler, rumbled in her ear.
She shook her head, unable to guarantee control if she spoke.
"Then why do you feel that you're a burden to us? You've said it yourself, we all depend on one another." He stroked her hair with his fingers as he held her. "Did anything else happen to you out there?"
Again she shook her head. Perhaps later she would ask him about her gear. Or share her worries about the Council's scheme to poison her. For now, exhaustion was beginning to overtake her.
Noticing her drooping eyelids, Danziger stated, "I think we better get you back to bed. Put your arms around my neck so I can pick you up."
"No. Please -- I can walk" she insisted.
Annoyance flickered in his expression, "Not this again. Adair, I need you to promise me something?" She looked earnestly at him. "Promise me that you'll try to behave and not push yourself so hard?"
She paused then met his gaze, "I'll try."
He good naturedly shook his head, knowing that was the best she could do.
To make good on her promise she coyly proposed, "You could help me walk back to my tent."
"That's more like it." He grinned as he put his arm across her shoulders. With Devon leaning against him, they proceeded towards her tent.
"When are we going to break camp?" Devon had to ask.
"You never give up, do you?" Danziger laughed. Then he firmly added, "We'll leave when the doctor says it's okay and not a moment before. Julia's a good doctor, you should follow her advice. She knows what's she's doing."
"I'll take that into advisement" Devon teased him, her brown eyes sparkling as they met John's blue ones.
(True Danziger)
// That night Devon apologized to the entire camp for her behavior. She didn't go into any details about what had happened to her in the woods, but she did tell us that she was very sorry for causing us trouble and she appreciated all that we had done for her.
My Dad seems better now, he smiles more. He and Devon are spending more time together. I'm not sure how I feel about sharing my father with her. But I'm glad that's he's happier.
I still don't think I want to be a grown up. It seems way too complicated. But at least my Dad seems to be working things out.//
-The End-
All comments welcome -- rpowers702@aol.com (To be continued....)
This text file was ran through PERL script made by Andy. Original text file is available in Andy's Earth 2 Fan Fiction Archive.