DO YOU KNOW MY SHADOW?
By
Lisa 04
Timeline: After "Greatest love story never told"
Author's E-Mail: Lisa04@aol.com
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Finally!! Yes, finally I have finished this story! For all of you who started reading this thing several years ago and stuck with it, I thank you. Thanks to all of you who wrote to me, encouraging me to finish the story. I fully intended to, it just took a little longer than expected. For those of you that are new to the list, I'm reposting parts 1-15 along with the final 2 parts (16 &17) so that you can read the whole monster if you wish.Just to reinterate. This is my 'new' ending to the Sheppard episode, "The Greatest Love Story Never Told". I thought that episode played Devon way out of character and I wanted to rewrite the ending to try and explain some things. I also wanted to give my spin on what might have happened had Sheppard survived and joined the group. Hope you enjoy it. (I promise any future stories will be finished before they are posted.)
Lisa
Disclaimer - These characters are the property of Amblin Entertainment and NBC (lame network that it is). This story is just for fun and not profit. And by the way CBS, I think you're pretty lame too for cancelling "EZ Streets", that one had alot of potential if you'd just gotten the ants out of your pants and waited a minute for the viewers to catch on. But I digress........on with the story......
Do You Know My Shadow? (1/17)
by Lisa 04
They drove back to camp in silence. Devon was still stunned by Katarina's attack and Sheppard was numbed at the loss of his sister. She had stabbed him in her attempt to kill Devon but the wound was only superficial. Danziger's quick reaction had prevented Devon from being harmed but Katarina was not so lucky. Against Danziger's better judgment, Devon had invited Sheppard to join their group and he had accepted. As he drove the dunerail Danziger wondered why this bothered him so much and convinced himself it was because they knew nothing about this man. The veiled warning by the Elder to "be careful and take care" didn't help much to calm his nerves either. At least True seemed to come out of the whole situation fairly unscathed. She had fallen asleep in the back of the dunerail thirty minutes ago. "That kid could sleep through anything," he thought to himself.
"Do you want me to drive for awhile? " Devon asked, "you don't look like you feel too well and you're still weak from the fever." "I'm fine, you OK?" Danziger asked not turning to look at her. "Yeah," she replied, "though still a little shaken up I guess. Thanks." She paused then turned her attention the other passenger in the back of the vehicle, "Sheppard, how's your arm," Devon asked with concern. "It'll be all right," he answered quietly, looking up at Devon. "I'm truly sorry about Katarina," she whispered as she reached out and took his hand."I know," he said quietly as he squeezed her hand. As they all settled back into their silence, Danziger reflected back on the events that had occurred the last few days. It all started when he had gotten ill while on a solo scout which Devon had been opposed to in the first place. "I don't think it's a good idea." she had said, "What if something happens, you won't have any backup and it might take us hours to get to you." "You worry too much Adair." Danziger mused, " Besides, everyone is busy with other things and for once I happen to be the one with nothing to do. The vehicles have been winterized and the generator is working without any problems. I'm starting to feel a little useless. I need something to do and someone needs to check out the terrain beyond the far ridge for a passage out of here when it thaws out. "
"Well I can't argue with that.. but," she started. " Then don't," he countered, "I'll be back before it gets dark. You won't even have time to miss me. And before you say it, I'll be careful and keep my gear on." He coughed loudly as he finished talking. "All right, but keep in contact and have Julia check out that cough before you go."
"Yes mother, " Danziger scoffed, dodging Devon's swing as he ducked out of the biodome and headed to Julia's tent. " Hey Julia, you got something for a cough?" Danziger asked as he entered the medtent. Julia looked up from her bench where she had been analyzing several plants for possible medicinal uses.
"Sure, " she replied, " how long have you had the cough? Are you running a fever?"
"Whoa there Doc, it's just a little cough. Nothing to get excited about." " If you're sure you're feeling OK, otherwise, you can take one of these," she said, giving him a small white pill. " It should take care of the cough, but," she warned, "if you start to feel worse, check back with me. All right?" "Jeez, OK mother number two."
Julia watched as the big mechanic lumbered out of the tent. He didn't look sick but there were still a lot of unknowns where this planet was concerned and she wanted to keep a close eye on anyone that became ill whether it appeared to be a simple "cold" or not.
The rest is history as they say. He had gathered up his gear and set out on foot toward the ridge. He elected not to take the dunerail as he could take a shortcut on foot and cut a couple of hours off of his trip. Besides, it wasn't that cold when he started out. Halfway to the ridge, though, a storm moved in and it began to snow. He also wasn't feeling too hot. His cough had actually worsened and he was starting to feel dizzy. The snow had begun to fall much harder and his body was racked with coughing spasms. The next thing he knew, he was in some sort of cave covered with blankets and feeling like he had been hit by a transrover. Devon was kneeling beside him and pleading with him to get up. She looked terrified, mumbling something about a man knowing things about her and that they had to leave.
" God, if I could have only gotten up then," Danziger mentally chastised himself, "Then maybe none of this would have happened and we would be back at camp now. Everything back to normal." But everything wasn't back to normal, someone was dead and they were heading back to the winter camp with a total stranger. One he didn't trust, no matter what Devon said. "That guy was sent here as a penal colonist for a reason, and I'm not buying the ‘I was set up plea' he's selling to Adair," Danziger thought as he glanced over at Devon. One bad experience with Gaal was enough to make him suspicious of any person they met on this supposedly uninhabited planet. He also didn't trust someone who couldn't seem to look him in the eyes, though he could've sworn he had felt Sheppard's stare at his back several times as they drove towards home. He also didn't like the fact that the only way Devon knew this guy was from some dream he had manipulated by using the hibernating terrians to access the dreamplane. Sounded like a pretty shaky way to get to know someone. His thoughts were interrupted when he started to cough again. "OK, that does it John Danziger. Pull the dunerail over now, I'm driving." "Really, I'm fine,"
"No you're not and I'm not going to argue with you," Devon stated flatly, "now pull the vehicle over."
"All right, you win," Danziger replied weakly as he wiped his forehead. He was sweating despite the freezing temperature. "I guess I'm still a little sick, but hey Adair, try not to put us in a snowbank, OK ?" "Uh huh, very funny, now move over."
Sheppard had witnessed this exchange and was none to pleased with the concern he heard in Devon's voice or saw in her eyes as she watched John Danziger get into the other seat. " I'll have to watch out for John Danziger," he contemplated, "Devon seems to depend on him quite a bit." The remainder of the ride continued without much conversation. The terrain gradually changed from the desolate plateau that had housed the entrance to the caverns, to the plush yet snow-covered forest which surrounded their winter camp. True had awakened once but quickly returned to sleep after being reassured by Devon that her father was just getting some much needed rest and was otherwise all right.
Sheppard occasionally closed his eyes but Devon somehow doubted he was dozing. She however, had no problems staying wide awake. The last couple of days kept playing in her mind. She realized how lucky they had been that no one had been seriously hurt and that she had miraculously come face to face with a man that she new only through her dreams but felt as if she had known a lifetime. As they drove into camp, everyone rushed to meet them. Julia immediately tended to Danziger while she and Alonzo helped him into the medtent. Uly had clung to his mother's arm, suspiciously eyeing the stranger that had climbed out of the vehicle to stand beside Devon. Yale also viewed the stranger with curiosity.
"Everyone, I want you to meet Sheppard. He'll be joining us on our way to New Pacifica," Devon began. With this announcement, Devon was hit with a barrage of questions and comments from the group. "Who is he?" Ebon asked.
"How did he get here?" Walman threw in, not at all happy with how close the man was standing to Devon.
"I don't think we should just pick up complete strangers," Morgan commented with a frown. "We barely have enough food for ourselves and remember what happened with Gaal." This bought a sharp jab from Bess and a look that could ice an ocean. "Ow, Bess, what.." Morgan started then changed his mind when he saw the look in her eyes, "uh, sorry."
"I know you all have a lot of questions," Devon said as she threw up her hands in a gesture to halt the conversation, "but those can wait for a bit, it's been a very long day and right now we could use some rest." Devon turned to Sheppard, "I also want Julia to look at your arm." Knowing no more answers would be given for now, the crowd disbursed as Devon and Sheppard made their way to the medtent.
While Devon and Sheppard turned away, many curious eyes followed them. Something in his memory banks seemed to click as Yale watched Devon and the stranger enter the medtent, but he just couldn't seem to access it. "I'll keep trying," he thought, "something about that man seems very familiar." "How's the patient?" Devon asked Julia, approaching the cot where Danziger was sitting with True in his lap.
"Grumpy as usual, but he'll live," Julia replied as she pulled the inoculation gun from his arm. "He's still got pneumonia but the white cell stimulant I gave him should help. You can try and convince him to get the rest he needs, I don't seem to be having much luck in that department." "Look Julia, the dunerail took quite a pounding with the load we had to carry back," Danziger stated as he briefly glanced towards Sheppard, "it could use some tuning up and I'm really feeling better. I swear." "Danziger, the rail can wait. None of us are going anywhere for a while. Please do as Julia asked and get some rest. We don't need you to get sicker," Devon pleaded in her best diplomatic tone as she held his gaze. Danziger, matching her gaze and knowing she wasn't going to back down, agreed to retire to his tent.
After True and her father had left, Devon turned to Julia. "Julia, I didn't get a chance to introduce you and Alonzo to Sheppard, he'll be traveling with us to New Pacifica." Alonzo had stepped up from the back of the tent where he had receded when Devon and the man had entered. "Nice to meet you," Alonzo offered as he extended his hand in greeting. "Very nice to meet you also," Sheppard returned, wincing as he accepted Alonzo's handshake.
"Julia, could you take a look at his shoulder, he hurt it." Devon asked as Julia stepped in after noticing Sheppard's painful expression. "Here, let's take a look at that." Julia commented as she began to remove Sheppard's coat to get a better look at his shoulder. "What happened, this looks like a knife wound?"
"It's a long story that I'd rather not get into right now Julia," Devon answered before Sheppard could respond. Julia glanced at Devon and nodded her head, "OK, that should do it," she said as she returned her attention to dressing the man's wound. "I'll want to take another look at it tomorrow to make sure it's not getting infected, but it should be fine. In the meantime I don't want you using your arm too much, it might start bleeding again."
"Yes, thank you Doctor. I'll do as you ask." Sheppard answered distantly as he tried to pull his coat on. "Devon, I'm sure the Doctor has plenty of work to get back to, why don't we excuse ourselves." "Yes, you're right," Devon agreed as she helped him with his coat. "We could both use something to eat."
"Thanks Julia," Devon said as she followed Sheppard out of the medtent and towards the biodome. "I'll talk with you later." Julia and Alonzo watched as Devon caught up to the waiting older man and proceeded toward the Biodome. As they disappeared inside Alonzo turned to Julia.
"Who the hell is that guy and why is Devon hovering over him?" "I have no idea but there's something strange about him. I'm just not sure what it is," Julia replied with a thoughtful look in her eyes. "Hopefully Devon will feel like talking about it later." With that said, Julia turned and entered the medtent leaving a bewildered Alonzo to stare at the now closed door of the main building.End Part 1
Do You Know My Shadow? (2/17)
by Lisa 04
Devon and Sheppard entered the nearly deserted biodome. Baines was the only person present and he was simply retrieving a cup of Bess's ‘almost coffee' (as Walman liked to call it) before resuming his check on the faulty perimeter sensor that had gone off constantly last night. Morgan had been a real bear earlier because of the lack of sleep and Baines didn't want to hear his whining anymore.
"Hi Devon, I'll be out of your way in a minute. Just wanted to grab some coffee." Baines remarked, eyeing Sheppard in a not so subtle manner. "That's OK Baines, take your time," Devon replied as she walked over to prepare a plate of the leftover lunch. She was relieved that there wasn't anyone else in the dome because she didn't feel like answering questions about Sheppard just yet. She hoped the rest of the group wouldn't react the way Danziger did when he found out how she and Sheppard had met. "Well John always was very uncomfortable when it came to the dreamplane. He's never been very accepting of it," she thought as she took the plate of food over to where Sheppard was sitting.
"Here, you should eat something Sheppard," Devon said, putting the plate in front of him as she sat down.
Sheppard had been staring at some imaginary spot on the wall while Devon was talking to Baines but now turned his attention to the beautiful woman who sat in front of him. "I'm not very hungry Devon," Sheppard replied. "I'm a little tired. I think I'd like to lie down for awhile." "Of course. I understand." Devon nodded. "You can use one of the cots in Uly's and my room to rest. It's through there," she added pointing to the door at the back of the room that led to the small offshoot from the main building that she shared with her son.
"Why don't you join me?" he asked, a slight smile forming at the corner of his mouth as he caressed her hand.
Devon blushed slightly as she carefully pulled her hand away. "I guess I shouldn't be nervous about this considering how well we had gotten to know each other all those years ago, even if it was technically just a dream, but..." her voice trailed off while she looked down at the floor to avoid his intense gaze.
"But what?" he prodded.
"Well, it's just that things are a lot more complicated in real life, my life, and no matter how I feel about you, it's not just my feelings I have to consider anymore."
"You're talking about your son Ulysses." "Yes," she answered. "I can't just all of the sudden bring some stranger he's never met into his life and say ‘OK Uly this man is going to be living with us now. Except for Yale, Uly and I only had each other until we crashed on this planet. Even his own father abandoned him when he found out that he was sick. We learned to depend on each other and haven't really needed anyone else. He's going to need time to get to know you... I'd like time to get to know you too," Devon added. "It's been a long time since we shared those dreams, a lot has happened. You said it yourself, we've both been through a lot and we've both changed. Now that we're here together there's plenty of time. Besides, Julia said you needed to rest that arm." she smiled hoping that he would accept her explanation.
Sheppard looked at her thoughtfully for a moment then agreed, "Of course you're right, Uly must have time to accept me." "Thank you for understanding," she said as she gently touched his face. "Why don't you go ahead and rest. I'll check on you later." "All right," he answered as he rose to leave. After Sheppard had left, Devon sat lost in thought until the loud bang of the biodome door opening startled her back into reality. Turning her head towards the door, she saw Bess entering the room. Earlier from her tent Bess and Morgan had watched Devon and the mystery man enter the building. "Bess, why did you punch me in the ribs," Morgan had asked after the group dispersed and she and Morgan had returned to their tent. "Morgan honey," Bess replied, "sometimes you can be so dense." "What do mean by that," Morgan asked with a hurt look on his face. He really looked like a child when he did this Bess thought to herself. "Morgan, you're a politician. You more than anyone should know that the way you ask a question and the timing of it can be very important," Bess answered trying to explain it in terms Morgan could relate to. "Devon was obviously not going to answer our questions about that man right away and to start antagonizing her by suggesting that she was putting the group in jeopardy by adding another mouth to feed or even worse, by bringing in another psychopath wasn't going to get the answers any quicker and would only make her angry. And.. " she added, putting it in her own terms, "it wasn't very nice." "Well, I suppose you're right," he conceded. "I guess I'm just out of practice being a politician, but I meant what I said. We don't have the supplies to keep taking in every Tom, Dick or Harry who got dropped on this planet. We're already down to half rations and I don't intend to starve just so Devon Adair can play Mother Teresa. I mean, my god Bess, I can already see my ribs. Look," Morgan whined as he lifted his shirt to prove his point. "Morgan," Bess sighed looking at his thin white chest, "everyone has lost some weight. You've always been thin. Trust me, your ribs aren't showing anymore than they have."
Morgan frowned letting his shirt fall, "I still don't like it and besides, you didn't have to hit me so hard."
Bess looked at Morgan with the patience for him that only she possessed. " I didn't hit you that hard, Morgan." Changing the subject she added, "Why don't you go and help Baines fix that sensor so it won't keep you up again tonight. He just left the biodome and I think that's where he's going." She knew the only way to get her husband out of his pouty mood was to get his mind on something else. The promise of sleep was always a good way to motivate him. Morgan, perking up at the chance to assure himself of an uninterrupted night's sleep agreed and went to find Baines. Bess watched Morgan as he caught up to Baines who didn't seem too thrilled to have him tagging along but agreed to let him help anyway. " Maybe I should have been the politician in the family. I think I might be able to use more subtle techniques to find out what's going on. Women are always better at these things anyway," she smiled to herself as she headed towards the biodome.
Bess opened the door to the building making sure to create plenty of noise in case she might be interrupting something. "Oh, hi Devon. I didn't know anyone was in here," Bess lied.
"Hello Bess," Devon answered. "I was just going to look for Uly. Have you seen him?"
"Yes, I think Yale started a history lesson with he and True not too long ago," Bess responded as she walked towards the other woman glancing around to see if a certain someone else was present. "You don't need to leave on my account. In fact since you're here I was wondering if I could talk to you?" Bess asked, sitting down across the table from Devon. "What is it," Devon asked warily. She knew Bess Martin's insatiable need to know all the secrets of the Eden crewmembers was probably what had prompted her to come into the dome. She didn't really have time to play cat and mouse games with this woman who had an uncanny knack of finding out just about anything she put her mind to.
"Well, Devon," Bess started, "Yale says that spring shouldn't be too far off and I was just wondering if we would be leaving as soon as the weather permits. I mean, I'd like to get an early start at packing supplies for the trip if that's what we're planning to do." She knew that Devon didn't want to talk but she was trying to get her engaged in a conversation so that she could ultimately inquire about their guest. Asking about the journey to New Pacifica was as good a way as any to get Devon Adair talking. "I don't know Bess. I hadn't really thought about it lately since it seemed like winter was going to last longer." Devon considered. "I suppose we'll get started as soon as we can , provided we can find a passage out of here the vehicles can navigate. That's something we still haven't found." "That's true," Bess agreed seeing her opening, "Isn't that what Danziger was looking for before he got sick ?"
"Yes, he had gone off to scout alone. Against my better judgment I might add, but I let him talk me into it." Devon mentally chastised herself once more for letting that bull-headed man convince her he would be all right on a solo scout. "I certainly won't make that mistake again," she thought. " He really was lucky that someone found him and took him in," Bess continued, moving in for the kill so to speak. Clueing in on what Bess was trying to do, Devon decided to head her off. "He was very lucky Bess, and I hope this makes us all realize again how unpredictable this planet is. We all need be more careful." "Now," Devon said as she stood up from the table, "I'm afraid we'll have to talk about this some other time, I really need to see my son." Before Bess could get another word out Devon was gone, the door closing quickly behind her. "Darn," Bess thought to herself, "I still don't have a clue as to what's going on." Resigning herself to the fact that she was probably going to have to wait and hear Devon's explanation with the rest of the group she followed the other woman out the door.
Sheppard moved away from behind the other door. He had tried to lie down but had gotten up when he heard voices in the other room. "This Bess is a very inquisitive woman," he pondered, "but Devon handled her well. Devon has turned into a real leader, though I'm certain she won't mind relinquishing some of her responsibilities. It will give her more time with her son. Now that I'm here she won't have to carry the load alone." A twinge of pain in his shoulder reminded Sheppard that he had come into this room for a reason and he sank down into the cot closing his eyes to rest. "Everything will fall into place, they'll come around," he thought as he drifted off to sleep, "they'll learn to accept my place in the group with time."End Part 2
Do You Know My Shadow? (3/17)
by Lisa 04
John Danziger was dreaming. He was back in the tunnels searching for Devon but he couldn't seem to find her. "Devon, where are you," he called as he frantically ran from one chamber to the next. This all seemed so familiar to him yet everything was different. "These were the same tunnels that the elder and his group lived in weren't they," he thought to himself, "where is she ?" With a growing sense of urgency he moved from one chamber to the next looking for the woman that had become a bigger part of his life than he would admit. It had to have only been minutes but it felt like he had been searching for hours. The walls of the tunnels were distorted and with every step he felt as though he was moving in slow motion, the tunnels growing longer in front of him instead of ending. Rounding a corner, he entered an enormous room that was illuminated by the glowing rocks Morgan Martin had so selflessly lended his name to. They were arranged in a line along the lower part of the walls giving a strange glow to the cavern which allowed long shadows to be cast from the numerous rock formations that were present. Many of the formations appeared to sparkle as Danziger passed by them. Moving further into the room he continued to look around struggling to see in the low light that dimmed as he moved away from the walls into the depths of the cavern. He reached the middle of the room and again called out for Devon. Hearing no answer he sat down on a rock to catch his breath. He had just began to examine the strange glittering formations when he heard a voice behind him. "They're beautiful, aren't they ?"
Startled Danziger turned toward the voice. "Jesus Adair, where have you been ? Why didn't you answer me ? I've been looking all over for you." he began as he jumped up from the rock and walked quickly towards her. "Look, we have to get out of here. That guy's dangerous. True found out he was sent here as a penal colonist. He's a criminal Devon, you're instincts about him were right." "No, I was wrong to be scared of him John." Devon said quietly as she stared at the rocks seeming mesmerized by their sparkle. "What's wrong with you Adair," he growled grabbing her arms and shaking her to get her attention. "The man's a murderer. Did you know that ? He's killed people. I've got to get you and True away from him," he finished as he began to lead her out of the room.
"No," she said forcefully, breaking away from his grip. Devon looked at John with her full attention now focused on him, "Sheppard's not like that, I know him. I remember him."
The walls of the cavern suddenly changed and the two were back in the smaller room of the tunnels where they first had this conversation. Danziger however, was an observer, this time watching the exchange from somewhere above. He watched as his other self argued with Devon that she couldn't possibly know this man, she had just met him. Devon turned to leave saying that if he wanted to go he could but she wasn't leaving without Sheppard. As she left, John watched himself clench his fists. Looking down into his own eyes he could see the emotional turmoil churning in them. He knew and felt the anger and frustration in those eyes but he also saw something he hadn't recognized before...fear... pure and simple fear. Danziger awoke with a start. Running his hands through his sweaty blond curls he grabbed his head to try and soothe the massive headache that threatened to split his head apart. "Oh God, my head hurts," he mumbled, temporarily forgetting the dream that had so rudely interrupted his otherwise peaceful sleep.
"Dad, are you OK?" True asked walking over to him from her cot where she had been reading yet keeping a close eye on her father. "Yeah True, I'm alright," he answered massaging his temples to ease the pain. "I've just got a little headache that's all." "Well, you were talking in your sleep but I couldn't understand everything you were saying. You did call out Devon's name a couple of times though. You seemed pretty upset and I was just about to wake you up." Slowly the dream started coming back to him in bits and pieces. He remembered running through the tunnels looking for her but it was different than before. It didn't make sense. "That's not how it happened," he thought to himself. The only thing that was the same was the way it ended, but even that was a little strange. Seeing himself from another viewpoint had left him shaken, or was it what he had seen in his own eyes? He got up from his bed and headed to the medtent. "I'm going to see if Julia has something for a headache True, I'll be right back."Devon had found Uly. Bess was right, Yale had just started a history lesson and rather than interrupt she decided to talk with her son later. She took this time to find a quiet place to think. Walking past Magus who was getting more wood for the fire, Devon nodded hello and continued toward the edge of the camp. She pulled her coat closed and sat down on a rock that was well shielded behind a cluster of bushes. The events of the past two days were still quite amazing to her. It was hard to believe that the man whom she had dreamed about all those years ago was actually real and was here on this planet. She remembered how lonely she was back then. Uly had just been diagnosed with the Syndrome and she was struggling to take care of him as well as run the Adair Corporation. When it had become evident that he wasn't going to get much more benefit from being in the hospital she had brought him home, despite Dr. Vasquez's objections. She refused to leave her son in the care of strangers at that sterile hospital and had spent long hours learning how to care for him herself. "I'm not going to let my son be brought up by anyone other than me," she had promised herself, "he's going to know his mother and know that he's loved."
Devon Adair was used to getting what she wanted. Although her parents didn't give her the open love and attention that she so desperately needed while growing up, all of her other desires were met. She was afforded all of the luxuries and privileges that came from being born into the Adair family. She had also inherited her father's ambition and drive, and worked tirelessly to accomplish any thing she set her mind to. When her parents had been killed in the shuttle accident, it was Yale's love and support that helped Devon deal with her grief. Initially after the accident, Devon had felt anger toward her parents. She blamed them for leaving her alone without the chance to ever break through their emotional barriers to become a true family. She had always harbored the hope that if she could just achieve that one special accomplishment, her parents would let down their walls and show her love freely. Yale had helped her to realize that her parents did love her in their own way but were unable to show her that love mainly because they themselves weren't allowed to express their emotions while growing up. It was out of that realization that Devon promised to make sure her child, when she had one, was raised surrounded by love and affection. After her parents death, Devon concentrated on work. It was always understood that she would run the family company when she was old enough. There were never any other options. Instead of learning only the business aspects of the corporation however, Devon also chose to study structural mechanics and architecture. By age twenty-five she had become the premier designer and builder of station habitats and had more that quadrupled the worth of the company her great-grandfather had started. She became one of the most influential and powerful people on the stations. Her great-grandfather had been one of the first businessmen to realize that the Earth's resources were running out and that another way of life was necessary. The stations were originally established as an upper class community for the wealthy to escape the increasing pollution and worsening weather of earth. It became evident though, that the earth would soon become unsuitable for sustaining life and many people sought to immigrate to the orbiting stations. Knowing most people didn't have a choice, Devon's greatgrandfather along with several other ‘businessmen' introduced the concept of inherited debt which allowed families to live on the stations immediately while paying the cost of transfer in installments. The transfer fees were very high, often accompanied by outrageous interest rates. The debt was passed from one generation to the next until it was paid in full. Devon had always been ashamed of the fact that her great-grandfather was a principle player in getting inherited debt established and she had worked hard for its repeal. Her efforts were in vain though, as many of the businessmen and women who sat on the Council had also accumulated substantial fortunes through inherited debt and were unable to look past their own greed to see the unfairness of the laws.
When Uly was born, Devon's life changed forever. The love that she felt for her frail son overwhelmed her. Though she was still considered a force to contend with in the business world, she was no longer consumed with the drive to succeed, except as a mother. Her relationship with Richard, Uly's father, had failed months before Uly was born. Richard was the golden son of Robert Pierce, one of her father's closest business allies. He always seemed jealous of her accomplishments while they were growing up but she thought he had overcome that when they started dating. When Richard had asked her to marry him, Devon assumed it was because he loved her. It was only after he insisted she ‘retire' and let him ‘take care of the business' that she realized he didn't love her, he only wanted to control her. His proposal had been his way of finally ‘winning' his self-conceived contest with her. When Devon refused to allow him to dictate her life, he left. By that time she was already eight weeks pregnant but Richard had gone before she could tell him. When she did finally tell him, he expressed little interest in being a father and went so far as to offer to pay for an abortion . This had infuriated Devon and she stormed out, letting him know in no uncertain terms that she didn't want or need his help, she was quite capable of raising ‘her' child without him. He did come to see Uly a few times after he was born, but disappeared after Uly was diagnosed as a syndrome child.
She had essentially cut herself off from her friends after her breakup with Richard. Most of them were his friends anyway. She also refused to engage in any romantic relationships. She wasn't going to let any man toy with her emotions like that again. Her only real friend was Yale. He was there throughout her pregnancy and was her coach when Uly was born. He shared in the joy of her son's birth and also held her while she sobbed after finding out about his illness. When Uly was diagnosed with the Syndrome, Devon's whole world collapsed. Any small ties she might have still had to the outside world dissolved as her focus narrowed to her son and his welfare. Though Yale's friendship and love helped Devon stay strong, there was still a void and loneliness that she felt. It came mostly late at night when she would sit in the nursery listening to her son's labored breathing. After checking on him she would often sit in the rocking chair beside his crib, unable to return to her empty bed. It was at those times that the loneliness and despair would almost consume her. She would sit and slowly rock as she fought the emotions which would finally break through as silent tears falling down her cheeks. These were the only times she allowed herself to cry. Even Yale did not know the depths of her loneliness. It was during one of these times that the ‘dreams' started.
The dreams first began as a quiet voice. Probing, questioning, seeking out the source of her sadness. In her dreams Devon was unguarded, open to the inquiries of the voice. The barriers that she had built for protection were no longer needed in her dream world. She welcomed the comfort and affection the voice offered. Her entire life was spread out like an open book. Every triumph, tragedy, and innermost thought was shared. The fears and secrets that she had kept hidden from the world for so long were told so easily, and yet the voice always returned, ready to give comfort. Somehow always knowing and giving what she so desperately needed... love. The dreams slowly evolved, more revealed each time until finally, he appeared. He was handsome and strong. He guided her gently with his will, slowly gaining her trust until finally they became lovers. The emotions that Devon could not allow herself to feel while awake flowed freely in her created world. Here Uly was healthy and happy. He no longer needed her constant care and attention. She watched as he grew strong, running and playing among the trees. In this world Devon could need someone else. Her lover helped her overcome her fears. His voice whispering for her to ‘let go of the pain and loneliness' and to ‘believe that things could be different'. "There is a place where this is all possible," he promised, "Your son will be healed and we can be together. This world can become a reality."
His voice called to her each night, showing her that world, until gradually she began to believe it could be true. What he told her in the dreams seemed to go along with the theories that Dr. Vasquez had developed regarding the origin of the syndrome and a possible cure for it. He believed that the weakened immune systems in syndrome children were due to the lack of antigenic stimulation experienced by children born in the sterile environment of the space stations. He was convinced that if these children could be allowed to develop in a normal environment with frequent antigenic challenges to their immune systems, the syndrome could be arrested and even reversed. It was after waking from a particularly vivid dream to find Uly in a coughing spasm that Devon vowed to do everything in her power to assure that he too would have a chance to live. She decided not to sit back and watch her son waste away. Slowly a plan began to form in her mind. Devon used her considerable influence to obtain information regarding possible habitable planets that the Council had investigated. She discussed her idea with Dr. Vasquez, who at first thought it was impossible, but was eventually swayed by her conviction. Her life again had meaning. She no longer felt helpless. Any loneliness she had once experienced was pushed aside as her energies were directed toward implementing her plan and saving her son. The dreams became less frequent as her mind grew more preoccupied by her quest until eventually they were forgotten and he was just a clouded memory. Devon ‘s thoughts returned to the present. She was surprised that she could have forgotten so much about the dreams and Sheppard. She remembered the intensity of the emotions that she felt during her dreams about this place and about him. It seemed like such a ‘fairy tale', but now she was beginning to realize that it had come true. She wondered if the love that they shared so long ago could still be as strong. Now that she had time to digest the whole situation, she realized that no matter how much they shared then, things had changed considerably. She was actually a little unnerved at the thought that there was someone who knew just about everything there was to know about her. When she had dreamed about him it didn't matter because it was just that... a dream. But now it was reality, he really did know everything. Danziger's comments came floating back to her, "You don't know anything about this guy Adair." Of course he was right, Sheppard hadn't revealed much about himself to her, but did it really matter? She knew that he was caring and compassionate. He did tell her about this place so that Uly could be cured and grow up healthy, right? He helped her work through her fear and loneliness and made her feel loved, didn't he? "I know the most important things about him," she decided, "he helped save my son's life. He's a good man, I know it. John and the rest of the group will believe it too, once they get to know him." Devon remained on the rock, lost in thought until she heard a small voice behind her.
"Mom?"
"Hi honey, how was your lesson?" she answered turning and motioning for Uly to sit down beside her.
"OK I guess," he replied, perching on the rock beside her. "Yale said you were looking for me?"
"As a matter of fact I was," she smiled as she smoothed his hair behind his ears. "I wanted to talk to you about the man that came back to camp with us." "What about him?" Uly asked.
"Well Uly, I wanted you to know that he is a very special person and I want you to get to know him."
"Why, who is he?" he asked.
"He's someone who has done a great deal for us both. He was the one that told me about this place and about how it could make you better." Devon explained. "How could he do that, you just met him didn't you?" Uly asked with a puzzled look on his face.
"It's pretty complicated sweetheart but with the terrians' help, the people that we met in the tunnels were able to contact their families on the stations using the dream plane. He contacted me and told me about this planet." "But how did he know to contact you?" Uly asked suspiciously, looking up at his mother.
Devon thought for a minute then answered her son, "I don't know Uly, I guess we were just lucky."
"Seems kinda odd to me," he mused as he hugged his mother, "I'm just glad you're back Mom, I missed you."
"Me too," she replied, returning his hug, "I missed you too. Now let's get back to camp, it's almost time for dinner."End Part 3
Do You Know My Shadow? (4/17)
by Lisa 04
Returning to the biodome, Devon and Uly found that the group had already started to gather for dinner. Uly quickly left his mother's side when he spied True tinkering with some unknown piece of machinery. Devon smiled to herself, "Those two are becoming fast friends, even if they do fight a lot." She was so proud of the way her son had emerged from his shell after he was healed by the terrians. Before, he never had many friends because he couldn't stand their stares or the pity that they were unable to hide. Now he easily interacted with the group and had quickly won over their affections. True even liked him despite his constant pestering of the older girl. "He's definitely his mother's son, proud and stubborn," she thought as she watched him questioning True about the contraption. Leaving her son to his interrogation, she headed to her room to see if Sheppard was awake. "Are you feeling better?" she asked as she entered her room to find Sheppard sitting on the edge of the cot.
"Yes a little," he answered, standing up to greet her. "What have you been up to?"
"Oh, nothing special. Just a little time alone. I did talk to Uly though.," she smiled. "I told him about how you helped us and that I wanted you two to get to know each other."
"And what did young Ulysses say about that?" "Well, I have to admit, he was a little confused by the whole thing. I guess it is a little hard to understand how you can contact someone who's millions of miles away, simply by dreaming to them." "Yes, I suppose it is," he conceded.
"Though Uly seems to understand the dreamplane better than anyone else, it seems even he still has a lot to learn about it," Devon reflected. "Are you hungry?"
Sheppard nodded and added, "I'm looking forward to meeting the rest of your group."
"Mmhmm, I'm sure they're pretty anxious to meet you too," she replied thoughtfully, somewhat dreading the cross-examination that she knew was about to take place. The group was still very suspicious of strangers, and rightfully so. After their encounter with Gaal and the revelation that more Council prisoners were on this planet the group's anxiety level regarding strangers had increased dramatically. She couldn't blame them for being wary of Sheppard and the others in his group though, she would be too if she didn't already know him.
"Sheppard?" Devon suddenly asked looking up at him. "Yes?"
"How did you find me?"
"I heard your call, remember?," he answered slowly, flashing a smile at her. Changing the subject he continued, "maybe we should join the others now." "Yes, I guess we should," she agreed."Who do you think he is Yale?" Magus asked the cyborg while she handed him a plate of food.
"I don't know, but it looks like we're about to find out," Yale answered, nodding towards the door where Devon and Sheppard had emerged. She guided him to the table where Uly and True were sitting and then walked over to get the plates offered by Magus. After everyone had settled down to eat, Devon stood and cleared her throat to get the group's attention. "Look, I know everyone has been wondering about what exactly happened the last two days and who the other group of settlers are," she started, "but..." Before she could finish Sheppard interrupted. "Devon, it's alright, really," he offered. "I don't mind answering their questions."
She looked at him and sighed, " OK, if you're sure you're up to it." She sat down and waited for the inquisition to begin. Morgan Martin, never being one to put off questions he might have, was the first to start. "Who are you, and how did you get here?" he asked between mouthfuls of dinner.
"My name is Sheppard, and I was banished here by the Council, as were a few others in my group. Most of the group was sent here as political prisoners because the Council felt they were a threat. We have all learned to live together here on this planet and have made peace with the Terrians... and with ourselves." His voice trailed off with the last comment as he seemed to be saying it to himself more so than the group. "How long have you been here?" Cameron inquired. "I myself have been here for over 30 years I suppose. It's hard to think in station time anymore. Others have been here even longer." The questions continued and Sheppard shared that several clusters of the group had been sent here together. They eventually had found each other and decided to stay in this area. The Terrians had allowed them to live in the caverns because without tools they were unable to build structures that could withstand the winters. They also felt safer from the ZEDS and renegade penal colonists who refused to join them.
"Are there any more penal colonists in the area?" Morgan asked worriedly. "No, they moved on when they realized they weren't welcomed by the Terrians and had no place to live."
"What about ZEDS?" someone else asked.
"There are none left here," Sheppard answered, not offering an explanation for what exactly happened to the ZEDS that were encountered. "Uly said you used the terrians and the dreamplane to tell Devon about this planet," True said to the stranger knowing that it would bring about a strong reaction from the group.
"What?" several people gasped together. "What are you talking about True?" a startled Yale asked. "Listen everyone," Devon said, raising her voice just enough to be heard over murmurs of the group, "if you will all just quiet down some, I'll explain." Everyone became quiet and waited expectantly for their leader to proceed. Devon continued, clearly wanting to explain this part herself. "Apparently when the Terrians sleep, the dreamplane becomes even stronger . While they slept, they allowed the people in Sheppard's group to use them and the dreamplane to contact family back on the stations. Somehow," she continued, glancing over at Sheppard and smiling, "Sheppard was able to dream to me. He found out about Uly's illness and told me about this planet and how it would heal him. I must have forgotten about the dreams because I really didn't remember them until I met him again in the tunnels." Devon finished, deliberately leaving out the part about how she and Sheppard had become lovers in the dreams. That, she decided, was something they definitely did not need to know.
"That's just too weird," Baines said to no one in particular. "You mean the Terrians are able to contact people on the stations?" Julia asked incredulously.
"No, they themselves can't do it," Sheppard explained, rejoining the conversation, "there must be an emotional link to be able to project that far on the dreamplane. The Terrians are a somewhat emotionless species and besides, they have never had any reason to want to extend the dreamplane outside of this planet. All of their support comes from the planet itself. With our emotional bond to our families on the stations and the Terrians' mastery of the dreamplane, we were able to contact our loved ones to let them know that we were well. Obviously, they would receive our messages as dreams but they were received nonetheless. This helped our group to heal and accept life on this planet. It also afforded us a way to still have some contact with the stations.
"Why exactly were *you* sent to this planet?" Everyone turned toward the door of the biodome where John Danziger had just entered. He walked over to where his daughter was sitting and laid a protective arm around her. The mechanic held the older man's gaze and waited for his response. All other eyes in the room also looked towards the stranger expectantly. After a short pause, Sheppard spoke. "I was sent here as a penal colonist," he said simply, continuing to meet Danziger's stare.
"A penal colonist?" Morgan snorted, "You mean we've asked another penal colonist to join our group?" The rest of the group was also obviously upset by the revelation.
Yale, knowing first hand that the Council often branded someone a criminal to suit their own purpose calmly asked, "What did you do?" "I did some very foolish things when I was younger," Sheppard answered. He looked away from Danziger, no longer wishing to indulge in a staring contest, and gazed at the assembled Eden crew. "I was very impressionable and allowed myself to be influenced by the wrong people." "That's a very vague answer mister, care to be a little more specific?" Danziger prodded, ignoring the glare that he was getting from Devon. Stiffening a little Sheppard proceeded to give the group the same explanation that he had given Devon in the caves. "I have... had," he corrected himself glancing in Danziger's direction, "a sister. A twin sister. We were very close, but she was very emotionally unstable. She had joined a cult and to protect her, I joined too. This particular cult practiced black magic. I was drawn deeper into their fanaticism by my sister until I too didn't know reality." He hesitated before he continued, "I participated in an act where several people were accidently killed and I was sent here as punishment...I have been paying for it since. Not a day goes by that I'm not filled with regret and remorse for the actions of my youth." Sheppard finished, not offering any more information to the group. A silence hung over the assembled crew while they each considered the explanation that Sheppard gave. Devon was the first one to speak, "Look, he has admitted that he made some terrible mistakes when he was younger but that was a very long time ago. He has paid for those mistakes and has found peace on this planet. He helped give Uly and all the other children that are coming here a chance to live. If it hadn't been for him, we would have never known about this planet. The Terrians have accepted him and his group and I think we should also. "
"Just like that," Danziger challenged. "No questions asked?" "John," Devon started but again Sheppard interrupted. "Mr. Danziger, I don't blame you for being wary of me. I know you heard some things about me that might be of some concern to you, but I assure you, they were the ravings of a madwoman. I am no longer that foolish boy who was so easily manipulated. My sister's sleep capsule malfunctioned and she woke up on this planet an old woman. For someone who was very beautiful and vain in her youth, you can imagine what kind of strain that put on her already unstable emotional well-being. She had become insane over the years and couldn't tell reality from fantasy. She was dependent on me and became very distressed when she found out I was leaving with Devon and your group. She would say anything to keep me from leaving. I have paid for my crimes and have lived a good life on this planet." The two men continued to look at each other, neither one's gaze wavering.
Sensing the growing tension in the room and wishing to avoid any confrontations, Yale stepped forward. "Well, I don't see a reason to make any decisions about this tonight. It's been a long day. Why don't we all just get some rest and we can discuss it again tomorrow." Most of the group reluctantly agreed and began leaving the main building. " Sheppard, you may use the extra cot in my tent," Yale offered, not really giving the other man a choice. "John, could I talk to you." The way Devon spoke the words, they sounded more like an order than a request.
Danziger paused, looking back at Devon then patted True on the head, "Go ahead and get ready for bed True-Girl, I'll be there in a minute to tuck you in." He walked over to where she was standing with her arms crossed. He hadn't seen her look this angry since the first time he challenged her when they crashed onto this planet. Well, this time he wasn't going to give in. Walking slowly to deliberately make her wait, he crossed the biodome to stand in front of her.
"What is it Adair?"
"How dare you," she hissed, "how dare you intentionally try and get the group to distrust Sheppard."
"I don't know what you're talking about," he answered becoming angry at her for defending the other man.
"You most certainly do," she countered straining to keep her voice down. "You knew pressing the fact that he was sent here as a penal colonist would make everyone scared and suspicious of him." "Good," he responded, his anger continuing to rise and meet hers, "they need to be, and so do you. Look Devon, the only things we know about this guy is what *he's* told us and I ain't buying it." "He has changed John, he's made amends for his mistakes." "Says who? The Elder? Him? You, because you met him in some dream that he was producing, directing and starring in? If you want to be naïve about this then go ahead Adair, I can't stop you. But I'll be damned if I'm gonna let that guy hurt anyone I care about. I don't trust him and I'll be watching every move he makes. A leopard doesn't change *it's* spots." With that Danziger stormed out of the biodome, leaving Devon standing there shaking her head. 'He is so infuriating,' she fumed, staring after him. 'But could he be right?' a small voice in the back of her mind whispered. Sheppard had watched the heated exchange from across the room. He wished he could hear exactly what was being said. All he could tell was that both of them were very angry. 'Well,' he thought as he watched Danziger leave the building, 'it seems that Mr. Danziger is not too happy with my presence here. I certainly hope he comes around... it would be in the best interest for everyone.'
"Devon, is everything alright?" he asked, coming up behind her. "It will be." she answered turning around, giving him a tired smile. "I think I'll take Yale's advice and turn in, it has been a long day." "Yes, you look tired. You should get some rest," he agreed, touching her cheek,
"I'll see you in the morning."
"Goodnight Sheppard."
"Goodnight Devon, sweet dreams."End Part 4
Do You Know My Shadow? (5/17)
by Lisa 04
Danziger ducked into his tent still upset at the argument he just had with Devon. "Why won’t she open her eyes? What kind of hold does he have on her?" He knew that Devon felt Sheppard was responsible for helping heal Uly by telling her about this planet, but that still didn’t explain why she was so protective of him. "There is just something about him I don’t trust," he thought to himself, "He’s playing some sort of mind game with her and I’m going to get to the bottom of it."
"True-girl, are you asleep" he asked quietly. "Not yet Dad. I waited for you." she answered from her cot. "Good.. Listen, I don’t want you around that guy Sheppard, OK?" "Don’t worry Dad, he gives me the creeps," she assured him. "What that lady said scared me. She said he was bad and we should be afraid of him."
"She may be right, but I won’t let anything happen to you True. Believe that."
"I do Dad."
"OK," he said, giving her a hug, "now let’s get some shut-eye."Sheppard lay awake long after the rest of the camp had come to a quiet standstill. Listening to the rhythmic breathing of his volunteered roommate he reflected, "This isn’t exactly what I had in mind for tonight, but I guess I don’t really have a choice right now." It was very hard having Devon so close and not being able to be with her. Making love on the dreamplane was one thing but he had waited so long to touch her in the flesh and had worked very hard to bring her here. He had felt isolated on this planet, even with the others being here too. Alone in his thoughts, his mind began to drift back in time, back to when he was first sent here. It was difficult to remember how he was then. So much time had passed and so many thing had happened. He was a very angry man when he first arrived on this planet. He was filled with hatred, but that all seemed to fade as he came to know the Terrians. He couldn’t really explain the change, he just knew that slowly the fury he felt dissolved and was replace with a sense of peace. It was as if something had reached in and calmed his raging soul. Strangely though, the exact opposite happened for his twin sister. Katarina, who was always so kind and innocent, became brooding and dark. It was as if they had switched personalities. She slowly descended into madness as he became a trusted leader of the group. As the years went by, his memory of their life on the stations faded until he could no longer clearly remember the events surrounding their exile.
Sheppard watched after his sister, feeling a strong responsibility to her. She became more and more dependent and possessive of him, not allowing him to develop a romantic relationship with any of the women in the group. She had even gone as far as putting out his eye in a fit of rage when she caught him looking at another woman. Despite her abuse and possessiveness, he continued to care for her. His only escape from her ever watchful gaze was to dream himself to another place with the help of the Terrians. That was where he met Devon. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her loneliness and need almost overwhelming. He had dreamed to many people before he found her but they had all resisted his uninvited visits to their dreams, all but Devon. At first she was tentative but trusted him more with each visit. In here, he was free of Katarina’s scrutiny and could do and be whatever he wanted. Devon needed him and he needed her. In this dreamworld his past wasn’t important, he was in control. He could finally be free of Katarina and could be with someone as beautiful and powerful as Devon Adair. Sheppard yawned and slowly drifted off to sleep, not hearing the small yet persistent voice that whispered in the depths of his consciousness, "I am here Sheppard, I am here."
Devon awoke the next morning to the sounds of a busy camp. "Oh god, I overslept," she thought as she quickly dressed. Even Uly had already awakened and was in the main area of the biodome eating breakfast while listening to Yale lecture about the changing weather patterns on Earth before it was stripped of its resources by the previous generations.
"Hey mom," Uly exclaimed excitedly as Devon approached the pair quickly scanning the rest of the room to see who all was present, "Yale says that the weather is getting warmer and we should be able to leave soon."
"That’s great Uly," she answered absently, noticing that most of the group had already dispersed to tend to their duties. "Yale, why did you let me sleep so late?"
"Because you were tired and needed some rest," Yale replied, moving over to make room for her on the bench.
"I don’t need to be sleeping while everyone else is working. If you’re right about the weather changing, we have a lot of work to do before we leave for New Pacifica."
"Don’t worry Devon, no one thinks you’re slacking," Yale chuckled. "In fact, it’s good for them to see that you’re not always the superhuman Devon Adair."
"Humph.. very funny," she replied. "Do you really think that we can leave for New Pacifica soon?"
"The weather patterns are indicating a warming trend that seems to be holding," the tutor answered calling up a holographic image of a weather map on his cybernetic arm. "When compared to the historical weather patterns of Earth, it would appear that spring is just around the corner."
"I hope you’re right, but if there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that this planet is nothing like Earth used to be," Devon responded. "By the way, where’s Sheppard?"
"Uly, why don’t you go help Bess catalogue the supplies," Yale temporarily avoided answering Devon’s question and turned to the boy. Seeing that this request was clearly not debatable, Uly agreed and set out to find Bess.
Turning back to Devon Yale answered her question. "I don’t think he slept very well. He seemed troubled. He tossed and turned most of the night so I decided to let him sleep in this morning too."
"Oh, OK," Devon replied a slight frown forming , "I wonder what’s wrong." She started to get up to go and check on him when Yale stopped her.
"Devon, I’m sure he’s just not used to being away from the caves. He probably just had a hard time getting to sleep in a strange place. Let him rest, I would really like to talk to you if you don't mind."
"Sure Yale, what’s the matter?" Devon asked, wondering about the concerned expression her friend and teacher wore. She could tell that the older man was uncomfortable.
Hesitating, Yale tried to read her mood before continuing because he knew the subject he was about to broach was a touchy one. Deciding that it was too important to avoid, he ventured forth.
"Devon, I know that the last couple of days have been very taxing for you and I have avoided asking you about it because you’ve had to deal with everything else, but I no longer feel I can remain quiet about this."
"Yale, I..." Devon started, knowing where the conversation was going, but the mentor cut her off.
"No Devon, I’m not going to let you avoid this. It’s too important. There’s too much at stake," Yale said quickly with a determination that let Devon know he would not give up until she answered his questions.
Resigned Devon agreed, "All right Yale, what did you want to ask me?" "Devon, just exactly what do you know about this man, Sheppard?" "Yale," she answered, shaking her head, "I thought I answered that before. He’s a good man, he told me about G889 and that Uly would be healed here."
"No Devon, that’s not what I asked," Yale insisted, "I want to know what you actually know about this man."
Devon paused for a moment, seemingly lost in thought. When she answered, she did so in a quiet voice as if to prevent anyone else from overhearing, though they were alone. "I’m not sure Yale. Everything was so long ago and the memories are still pretty jumbled. If you want specifics about him I’m afraid I can’t tell you because I don’t know. The dreams weren’t like that. They were more ‘feelings’. I just know that I felt a sense of comfort and warmth when he was there. I didn’t feel the need to know details because it didn’t seem important at the time."
"What about now?" the tutor asked. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, what about now? Do you think it’s important to know the details of his life now that he’s here amongst us? Now that he’s no longer just a dream," Yale pressed, not wanting to anger Devon but wanting to get his point across."I...I suppose so," Devon reluctantly conceded. "Yale what are you getting at?"
"Just this Devon, we don’t know much about him. I’m not saying he isn’t a good man, that he hasn’t paid for his crimes. If anyone knows about being falsely accused, it’s me. I’m just saying that there is more at stake here. His being here affects all of us and with our recent experience with Gaal, I don’t think it is wise to take ‘anyone’ at face value without reservations until we can be certain about him."
"I agree that we don’t know as much about Sheppard’s past, but I won’t let you or the rest of the group harass him to get your answers. Let’s not forget that the Elder and his group accepted Sheppard and even turned to him for guidance. He lived peacefully with them without any problems. I don’t think there is any reason to be afraid of him," Devon remarked, starting to feel the pressure of the group’s scrutiny after last night’s confrontation with Danziger and now with Yale.
"I’m not proposing an inquest Devon, I just think we should encourage him to be open about his past. You can’t honestly tell me that it doesn’t matter to you what he did, can you?" Yale asked, playing on Devon’s more sensible side.
"Yale he told us what happened. Just because he didn’t supply the finer details doesn’t mean he’s trying to hide something," Devon retorted, tiring of the conversation. "Look, I promise to think about what you’ve said, but right now there’s a lot of work to be done. I need to go over the maps to try and find a passage out of these mountains that the vehicles can get through. I could certainly use your help but I don’t want to talk about this anymore." Realizing that the conversation wasn’t going any further, Yale agreed to drop it and went with Devon to study the topographic maps of the area.
"Ouch, #@&*$%." Danziger let out a string of curse words that would make a sailor blush, then looked around quickly to make sure none of the children were around to hear as he rubbed the part of his elbow that he had hit against the bar of the dunerail. "I don’t know why they call that the funny bone," he thought, " ‘cause I sure don’t feel like laughing when I hit it." He had awakened several times in the night, each time after having the same dream as before. Finally, after waking up in a cold sweat for the umpteenth time, he decided that if he couldn’t sleep he would at least use the time to tune up the dunerail. Julia’s immunostim injection had begun to work and he was feeling much better except for the fact that he was a little grumpy from the lack of sleep. He didn’t seem to be having much luck with servicing the rail though, as his mind kept wondering back to the dream. He couldn’t explain it and that was about to drive him crazy. He didn’t know if this was some sort of Terrian dream trick but he didn’t like it much. He just knew that the ending was the same even if the events leading up to it changed some with each dream. The anxiety and fear he felt when he awoke from the dream seemed to escalate each time he had it to the point where he couldn’t shake the feeling even after he was wide awake. "Well blast it, I’m not going to get anything done this way," he fumed, " I might as well go and see if Alonzo or Julia can tell me if this is some Terrian ploy to drive me nuts." As he turned to head to the medtent, he ran smack dab into Devon who had heard his little tirade from her tent and realized it was him under the dunerail and not Walman.
"John Danziger!" she began gearing up to enter her lecture mode, "what in the world are you doing out of bed. Julia made it clear she wanted you to rest."
Not about to let her know that she was the reason he couldn’t get the rest the doctor ordered, Danziger shot back, " Look Adair, I got a mother. I don’t need another one." Then realizing that she was only concerned about him and he wasn’t really mad at her, he hesitated and continued in a softer tone, "Really Devon, Julia’s medicine is working and I’m feeling one-hundred percent better. There’s a lot of work to do and I was tired of ‘resting’. I knew the rail needed worked on and everyone else is busy. I just thought I’d start on it. I promise not to over exert myself. "
Devon scrutinized the man standing before her, trying to determine if he looked as well as he said he felt. "All right John," she finally relented, "but please don’t overdo it. I don’t want you getting sick again. True would have your hide and mine for letting you do this." The last words were said with a smile, the tension from the previous night forgotten. It was always that way between the two leaders of the Eden project, though they might argue about the best way to do something, each respected the other and disagreements they might have never seemed to affect that respect or their friendship.
"Thanks Adair, I mean it," Danziger said sincerely, "I was going stir crazy lying around."
"I bet you were," she laughed. " by the way, Yale seems to think the weather is warming up and we might be able to get back on the road to New Pacifica soon."
"That’s great, but we still need to find a path out of here for the vehicles."
" I know," Devon nodded in agreement, "Yale and I have been looking over the maps of the area. In fact I’d better get back to work. I was just checking on the commotion over here. What happened anyway?"
"Oh, I just hit my ‘not-so-funny bone’," he smiled ruefully. "Umm, well try and use a little less colorful language would you sailor," she admonished, "we certainly don’t need the kids adding those words to their vocabulary now do we?"
"I know, I know," Danziger agreed, embarrassed that Devon had heard his outburst. "I’ll be more careful."
"Why don’t you have Julia look at that," she added, turning his arm so she could see his elbow. "It looks like you cut it."
"That’s just where I was heading before you nearly bowled me over," he grinned. He didn’t feel the need to tell her the real reason he was going to see Julia, however. "You’d make a pretty good blocking back Adair," he said, referring to the popular sport of arena football played on the stations.
"Yes I would, and you’d do well to remember that next time you get in my way," she laughed playfully, giving him a push towards the medtent. "Now get moving!"
"Aye, Aye Cap’n," he answered with a mock salute. Devon shook her head and smiled as she headed back to her tent. When she arrived there, she found Sheppard waiting for her. Yale had moved to the back of the tent and was looking at some of the maps that they had laid out.
"Good morning," she greeted him, "how did you sleep?" "I slept well," he lied, "and yourself?" "Fine, in fact I overslept thanks to Yale." Devon glanced in the tutor’s direction and smiled.
"You’re certainly in good spirits this morning. I noticed you and Mr. Danziger seem to have patched things up," Sheppard commented trying not to reveal the jealousy that began inside him when he witnessed their good-natured bantering.
"Yes," she answered, suddenly feeling uncomfortable that Sheppard had seen the exchange between herself and John. She walked over to the table and spoke to Yale, "Thanks for your help Yale, I think I have a pretty good grasp of the maps of the immediate area. Why don’t you go ahead and round up the kids for their math lesson. I know they’ve been trying to get out of it." Yale paused, eyeing the stranger for a moment then nodded, "All right Devon, if you’re sure you don’t need anymore help. I’ll just be in the next tent though if you change your mind. I’ll see you both later."
Sheppard watched the cyborg leave the tent then turned to Devon, "He’s very protective of you, so is Mr. Danziger. They don’t trust me to be alone with you."
"Yale practically raised me himself. He’s like family and has always been protective of me," she smiled as she arranged the maps on the table. "We’ve all become very close and protective of each other here, much like your group. I wouldn’t worry about them though, I think I’ve straightened them out."
"I thought we could spend some time together today, maybe take a walk," Sheppard proposed, moving closer to Devon.
"I’d like that, but I really need to study these maps to find a pass for the vehicles," she started then thinking back to the conversation she had with Yale earlier, she added, "though maybe we can go for that walk a little later."
Hiding his disappointment, Sheppard agreed, "Yes, I suppose that should be a priority. Yale told me that the weather was warming and the group was preparing to leave. Is there anything I can do to help you?"
"Well, you probably know this area better than anyone, is there a place the vehicles can fit through?" Devon motioned to the maps.
"I’m sorry, I’m afraid I don’t know this area any better than you. Our group rarely ventured out from the caves where we were at and we certainly didn’t come this far."
"Oh..well that’s OK," Devon replied, " we’ll find a pass out of here, it’s just a matter of time."
Sheppard started to say something but he was interrupted by Magus who ducked into the tent just then. "Hey Devon, Yale said you could use some help going over the maps. Oh...sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt you," she said glancing at Sheppard.
"No Laura, you’re not interrupting anything and I could definitely use your help," Devon answered thankfully. "Didn’t you do some mapping for your ground unit in the military?"
"A little, that’s why Yale sent me over," the other woman nodded. Devon suspected Yale had other reasons for sending Laura Magus to help her and she made herself a mental note to talk with him about it later. For now, however, she was thankful for the extra set of eyes.
"I’ll just leave you two to your work," Sheppard said as he headed for the tent flap. "Devon I’ll see you later?"
"Yes, we’ll definitely talk later," she promised and then turned back to the table.
John Danziger entered the medtent to find both Julia and Alonzo present. The good doctor was attempting to work while the young pilot was trying as usual to persuade her to play ‘hooky".
"Common Julia, you’ve been working all morning. We should take advantage of the warmer weather and take a walk," he coaxed.
"Alonzo," Julia sighed, "you know I have to get these specimens analyzed for edibility. Devon said we could be leaving soon for New Pacifica and we have to have something to eat on the way now don’t we?"
"Yes, yes," the exasperated pilot responded, "but we’re not leaving tomorrow and a half hour won’t make a difference."
Julia began to reply when she noticed Danziger at the tent opening. "Hi John, how are you feeling this morning?" "Great, thanks. Your shot did the trick Doc." "Good, but I still want you to take it easy," she added, noticing he was holding his arm, "what’s wrong with your arm?"
"Oh, I just hit it on the rail and got a little cut. Devon wanted me to get you to look at it."
"Well come on over here and I’ll clean it up for you." John walked over to where Julia was and waited for her to scan his arm with her dia-glove. "You’re right, it’s nothing serious. Just a little cut, and a slightly traumatized ulnar nerve," she said as she took off the glove and reached for the antiseptic to clean the cut.
John, uncertain how to ask about his dream decided to start by asking Alonzo what they were like. "Hey Alonzo, have you had anymore of those Terrian dreams lately?"
"No, not lately. They haven’t seemed to have much to communicate about these past couple of weeks except for your little misadventure," the pilot grinned.
"What exactly are they like?" John inquired, ignoring Alonzo's good-natured jab.
"I don’t know, it’s hard to explain," Alonzo answered. " I usually feel like I’ve been pulled there. It looks kinda like a desert, except it isn’t hot. The scenery can change though, just like that," he said, snapping his fingers.
"Do you ever relive events that have already happened except they’re different than before?"
"Yea, I suppose I have. Why do you want to know that?" Alonzo asked, his curiosity peaked.
John hesitated then decided to tell Julia and Alonzo about the dream he kept having. He told them about how the dream started like the events of the other day but ended with him watching from above. He also told them how scared he was during the dream, much more than he remembered being when it all really happened. "Funny thing is, I don’t feel like I’m scared for myself in the dream but for Devon," he finished, looking at them and waiting for their analysis.
"Man, that doesn’t sound like any Terrian dream I’ve ever had," Alonzo said, shaking his head. "Usually I don’t feel any emotions and if I do they’re not too strong because the Terrians don’t feel emotion like we do. What do you think Julia?"
Julia thought about what Danziger had told them and slowly came to a conclusion of her own, though she wasn’t sure the mechanic would want to hear it. Choosing her words carefully she began, "I’m certainly not an expert on Terrian dreams or human dreams for that matter, but what I do know is that not all dreams on this planet are necessarily related to the dreamplane. A lot of time and scientific energy has been spent trying to interpret dream origins and meanings in the past and some of the theories are more acceptable than others. Many experts felt that our dreams reflect subconscious emotions or fears that we are otherwise unaware of. They also believe that dreams are a way for our minds to bring together the unconscious and the conscious things that we have experienced. Sort of a ‘reliving’ of conscious events that have occurred with the addition of unconscious feelings that were present but not acknowledged."
"What are you saying Julia, that I’m afraid of something but won’t admit it?" Danziger asked not sure he was liking her implications.
"I’m not saying anything except, if this isn’t a Terrian dream, and it doesn’t seem to be one according to Alonzo," she answered glancing over at the pilot for support, "then it could mean that there are some issues your mind is trying to resolve about what took place in the caves. You are obviously worried about Devon and that could be related to your distrust of Sheppard... or to something else."
"What ‘something else’ would I be worried about except for the fact that Adair has brought some penal colonist into the camp that we don’t know anything about?"
"I can’t answer that John, only you can," Julia stated simply. "Humph," the mechanic grunted, " well, thanks for the patch-up job anyway and I’ll think about what you said, though I think you’re way off base on this one. I don’t know of any reason why I would be scared other than Adair’s need to pick up strays." Danziger left the tent and headed back to finish work on the dunerail. He decided to put off thinking about that crazy dream in order to concentrate on the job at hand. Besides, he really didn’t feel like dealing with it right now.
"When do you think he’ll admit how he feels about her?" Alonzo asked, turning to Juia.
"I don’t know, it’ll probably be a lot longer than anyone guessed," she smiled, shaking her head. "How about that walk you offered?" she said turning towards the beaming pilot.
"I thought you’d never ask," he winked as he took her hand and led her outside.
Sheppard had left the tent and headed out of camp. He was tired and angry about the mistrust of the others in the group. He also wasn’t too happy that Devon seemed to have little time for him. She acted somewhat uncomfortable when they were alone and he was unsure if she was being swayed by the others’ suspicions. He reached the edge of the camp aware of the eyes that followed him every step of the way. Every since he woke up this morning he had a feeling of anxiousness building. He wasn’t sure why he felt this way. He knew that the others in the group didn’t trust him and it was becoming a source of irritation for him. "Devon trusts me," he thought, "and that should be good enough for the rest of them." He hadn’t slept well last night contrary to what he told Devon. He had been besieged with scenes of destruction and death, much like the older war movies that were sometimes shown on the stations to remind people how much better they had it now that the Council was in power. He wasn’t certain where those flashes came from, but they seemed familiar. Intermingled with those dreams were bizarre scenes of ritualistic ceremonies involving people cloaked in hooded robes. He tried to recall the dreams in more detail but they were still fuzzy, as if they were just on the periphery of his mind. As he tried harder to remember, a slight headache began to form behind his eyes.
End part 5
Do You Know My Shadow? (6/17)
by Lisa 04
Folding the maps, Devon looked over to the other woman, "Thanks for your help Laura. I think you're right about the area to the south, it looks like it might be our most promising chance for a way out of here." "Now that the snow is melting, we should be able to get to that area and look for a pass for the vehicles," Magus returned. "How are things going?" Sheppard inquired, poking his head into the tent. "Great. Laura's found a promising area that the vehicles might fit through," Devon answered smiling. "We'll put together a scout team and head out first thing in the morning," Devon redirected her attention to the other member of Eden Advance.
"I'll let Danziger and Yale know," Magus nodded. "Do you want me to round up volunteers yet?"
"No, I think that can wait until tonight when we're all together, but do let Danziger know that we'll need the rail fully functional for the scout team. Though, I suspect he already has it up and running," Devon shook her head, smiling. "Sometimes I think he even talks to those things." "Yea, well you know Danziger. Those machines are his babies," Laura laughed in agreement, ducking out of the tent past Sheppard, not meeting his gaze. "Well, it sounds like you have things well under control," Sheppard said coming up behind Devon, placing his hands on her shoulders and squeezing gently. "Why don't we take a break?" Surprised by the contact, Devon unconsciously tensed.
"I think that's a good idea," she said, turning to smile at him, hoping he didn't notice her reaction.
Devon's response to his touch was not lost on Sheppard, though he decided now was not the time to press the issue. Leaving the tent, he guided her to the edge of camp and away from the ever watchful eyes of the Eden Advance crew.Danziger stared after the duo as they disappeared into the trees. He was watching so intently that he didn't hear Yale come up behind him. "John?"
Jumping at the unexpected sound of his name, Danziger peeled his eyes from where Devon and Sheppard had entered the forest and turned around. "Jeez, Yale," he barked, "you tryin' to give me a heart attack or something?" "I'm sorry," the tutor apologized, "I didn't mean to startle you." "That's OK. Whatcha need?" Danziger asked as his gaze wondered back to its previous place.
Yale followed his gaze and nodded toward where Devon and Sheppard had disappeared, "I suspect we're both concerned about the same thing." "Well, if Adair wants to be stupid about this whole thing I don't see how we can stop her," Danziger shrugged, not wanting the tutor to know how much seeing Devon and Sheppard together really bothered him, "she's about as stubborn as they come."
"She's always been very determined and focused," Yale agreed, trying to use more diplomatic terms to describe his employer and friend. "Usually though," he continued, "she's a little more careful when it comes to trusting someone. I suppose it comes from being in a position where people always seem to want something from you."
Turning back to the other man, Danziger shook his head, "If she's so careful, why does she trust this guy so much?" There was a hint of frustration in his voice which relayed to Yale that Danziger was as worried about Devon as he was.
"I'm not sure," Yale answered, " maybe it's because he came into her life at a very vulnerable time."
"That's exactly what I'm worried about," Danziger sighed. "Me too. I remember how Devon was during the first few months after Uly came home to stay from the hospital," Yale began, "She was overwhelmed with everything. He needed constant attention at first and she refused to hire a nurse. She wanted to take care of him herself. I helped as much as she would let me, but she pretty much insisted on doing everything."Being a single father, Danziger knew how hard it was to take care of a small child. He could only imagine what it was like for Devon caring for a child as ill as Uly was. He gained new respect for the woman that he had come to know in the last few months. Instead of using her wealth to pay someone else to care for her son, she had shouldered the responsibility herself. He knew that Devon loved her son dearly but always thought she was a little overprotective of him. Now, he realized how deep that love went and how strong Devon Adair really was. This realization only served to confuse him more about how she could abandon her usually astute senses and trust Sheppard without question. Yale continued as Danziger thought about what he was saying, "As she became more immersed into caring for Uly, she essentially cut herself off from all other human interactions, save for a board meeting here and there to make sure the company still ran smoothly. I gave her as much support as I could, but I could see how lonely she was. I encouraged her, though she wouldn't even consider getting involved in another romantic relationship. She was afraid it would interfere with caring for Uly and, even though she would never admit it, she was afraid of being hurt again."
"I can understand that," Danziger nodded, "after Elle died I didn't want to ever feel that kind of pain again. If I hadn't had True, I don't know how I would have made it."
"Devon's one of the strongest people I have ever known,but even she isn't immune to loneliness," Yale reflected. "I remember hearing her cry in Uly's nursery some nights. When I tried to talk to her about it she would just deny anything was wrong." The tutor lifted his head and sighed, "She would never admit that she was lonely or that taking care of Uly was exacting it's toll." "Sounds about right," Danziger agreed.
"Then things started to change," Yale met the other man's questioning eyes, "She became less withdrawn and even smiled occasionally. When she came to me with her idea about bringing Uly and the other syndrome children to G889 she was practically bursting with excitement. Uly was getting old enough to where he could help more in his own care and she threw herself into the development of Eden Project." "I was so happy to see her come out of her shell that I didn't even question why it happened so suddenly," Yale finished. "From what you're tellin' me Yale, she was ripe for the picking," Danziger frowned, getting more angry as he thought about it, "he could have played any kind of mind game he wanted with her. She was too vulnerable to stop it." "I can't say what exactly happened in those dreams, but whatever did happen, helped Devon become herself again," Yale admitted. "Maybe it was a good thing he was there for her."
"I don't know Yale," Danziger shook his head, " she probably would have come out of it herself in time. There's just something wrong about someone else getting into your dreams. You should have seen her. Before she remembered the dreams, she was scared to death of the guy. Then all of the sudden they're old friends? It was just weird how it all happened. She didn't even want to hear about why he was sent here in the first place." Yale hesitated then spoke, "There's more to it than just that." "What do you mean?"
"John," Yale began, "I have seen this man somewhere before, but for the life of me, I can't remember where."
"You mean you know him?" John asked incredulously. "I don't know if I actually know him or not, I just know his face is familiar. I've been searching my memory banks to try and place him. I haven't had any luck yet though."
"Yale, you've got to remember where you've seen him," John pressed, "it may be our only chance of convincing Devon that he's not being straight with her." "I know John, I'm trying. I'm just as worried about Devon as you are," Yale admonished.
"I know you are Yale, I'm sorry," Danziger apologized. "It's just that I have a really bad feeling about this guy. I've had it since we were in the caves and I can't seem to shake it. There's something that's not right and we have to figure out what it is."
"You know John, Devon is much smarter than we're giving her credit for. She may be fooled for a little while but if you're right about Sheppard and he's lying to her, she'll figure it out," Yale stated simply, realizing that they were underestimating the woman he practically raised. "I know Devon is a smart woman," Danziger said. "She's the smartest person I've ever known, but..." he hesitated, "I don't think Sheppard is playing fair. He got to her when she was most vulnerable and now she thinks that he's the reason Uly is healed. She's going to feel obligated to him because of that and I think he's going to take advantage of it." "You may be right, but we're here to make sure that doesn't happen," Yale resolved.
"You got that right, pal," Danziger agreed, gazing again into the forest where the two had disappeared.Sheppard continued to lead Devon into the forest, further away from camp. "We shouldn't go too far from camp," Devon said, slowing down. "I just wanted to get far enough away where we could be somewhat alone," Sheppard smiled, stopping to wait for her. Devon laughed, "I guess it does get a little crowded around camp." "More than you know," he thought, then said aloud, "It can be difficult to find time alone when you live with a group. It was hard to be by yourself in the caves too."
They both stood there for a moment waiting for the other to speak. Sheppard stepped closer to Devon and took her hand. "It's good to finally have you to myself," he whispered, bending to kiss her. She returned the kiss but broke it off before it became more passionate. Pulling her hand away, she walked over to a nearby log and sat down.
"Is something wrong Devon?" he asked, trying to hide the frustration that was building. He knew he had told her they could take things more slowly but he wanted to be with her so much that he was finding it hard to keep his promise. "No, nothing's wrong," she answered. She knew that he wanted to take their relationship to the level it had been in their dreams. She did too, but something kept holding her back. It had been a very long time since she had even thought about being intimate with another person, and not just in the physical sense. After the fiasco with Uly's father she all but shunned the thought of becoming involved with another man. Yes, she became lonely and Sheppard helped ease that loneliness. It was easy to allow herself to be with him in her dreams because to her he was an imaginary lover and when she woke up, she was still safe. No emotional toll was exacted and no promises were broken. When she woke up, her life went on safely as it did before she went to sleep.
Sheppard went over to sit beside Devon. "If nothings wrong, why did you pull away from me?"
"I just thought we could use this time to get to know each other again. You know, to find out what's happened all these years. You've been on this planet for awhile, I'm interested in knowing about the experiences you've had and the things that you've encountered. What has it been like living here?" Devon asked, trying to change the subject.
"It's been lonely here," he answered as he moved to sit beside her. Talking was the last thing he wanted to do but he realized that she was still a little uncomfortable.
"You had all those people around, I wouldn't think you had time to get lonely."
"You had Uly and Yale, yet you still became lonely," he countered. "That's why I heard your call."
"Yes, I guess I did," she admitted. "When I started the Eden project though, I didn't have time to think about it anymore. I just threw myself into the work because it was the only chance Uly or any of the other syndrome children had. Things just got easier after that." "That's when you stopped dreaming to me," he said quietly. Devon looked at him. "I never thought about it but you're right. I did stop having the dreams around that time."
"I couldn't hear your call anymore. For some reason our connection had been broken." Sheppard looked away from her, "I kept trying to find you again, but I couldn't." He turned back to her, reaching out to touch her cheek, "I thought your were gone forever until Mr. Danziger called out your name. Then I realized you had come to me. You were right here on this planet." She smiled at him and took his hand. "I didn't know who you were at first. I was scared of you until the Elder told me who you were." "Devon, there's no reason for you to ever be scared of me," Sheppard assured her, putting his arm around her..
"I know," she said, resting her head on his shoulder. *You don't know anything about him* Danziger's words again echoed in her head. "Sheppard?"
"Hmm?"
"Tell me about what your life was like before you came here?" "It was an empty wasteland without you Devon," he answered, a little glibly, "I don't even like to think about it."
"Seriously," she said, raising up to look at him, "tell me about yourself." Sheppard eyed Devon for a minute and she thought she saw something flash in his eyes but as quickly as it appeared it was gone. Was it anger? Fear? She wasn't sure.
"What do you want to know?"
"Well, I don't even know your full name. All those dreams and all the time we've already spent together here and you've never told me." "My given name is Patrick Mason, but I have always gone by the name Sheppard."
"Why is that?" Devon asked.
"My father's name was Patrick and I wanted a name of my own," he lied. He was beginning to remember there was another reason why he chose the name Sheppard but he couldn't quite grasp the thread of memory that dangled just in front of him. He knew somehow though, that Devon shouldn't find out the real reason he chose that name and he gave an alternative explanation to appease her curiosity.
"Did you leave any family on the stations?" "No, they all died long before I came here, except for Katarina," he answered quickly.
"What did you do back on the stations?" "What do you mean?" he asked suspiciously. "I mean what kind of work did you do?" she rephrased, the question, noting that he was getting a little edgy.
"I was a trader." *Why can't I remember exactly what I did on the stations* he thought to himself. A buzzing noise started in his ears. "Oh, what did you trade?" Devon asked.
"Different things, I mainly traded goods with the people still on the Earth's surface," he answered, rubbing his head. The buzzing was getting louder. "Devon really, what's the use in all this? It was a lifetime ago. None of it matters anymore." He hadn't thought about his past for years and was disturbed by the fact that he was having trouble remembering it well. "I'd much rather talk about you. Tell me more about how you finally got here, how the Terrians healed your son," he asked, attempting to detour the conversation. Devon realized Sheppard was becoming very uncomfortable and even looked a little agitated. She was starting to ask him about it when the gear she had tucked into her coat beeped.
Taking the unit out of her pocked, she placed it on her head and flipped the eyepiece into place.
"Adair here," she responded, seeing Bess on the other end of the transmission. " What's up Bess?"
"Sorry to bother you Devon, but there's a discrepancy in the count of the food supplies. I thought since you did the last count I should check with you and have you look over the figures I got." "Can't this wait?" Devon asked a little exasperated. "Well, I guess it could but, we need to figure out if it's just a counting mistake or if there really are some things missing. Walman thought he might have seen a Grendler lurking around the camp a couple of days ago while you and Danziger were gone. We need to know if the Grendler took the supplies so we can tighten up the perimeter defenses and send a party to try and recover them. We're low enough as it is," the other woman answered. "Of course you're right Bess," Devon agreed, "I'll be right there. Adair out." She pulled the gear off her head and turned back to Sheppard. "I need to take care of this," she apologized. "Maybe we can finish talking later?" "Yes of course, go ahead. We'll talk later," he nodded, thankful for the interruption to their conversation.
She turned to head back to camp then, noticing he wasn't following her, she turned around and asked, " Aren't you coming back?" "No, not yet. I think we'll stay here for awhile longer." The buzzing was almost deafening now.
"We?"
"I mean I," he corrected, "I'll stay here a little longer." "OK, but don't go too far. Bess said there might be Grendlers around." "I'll be careful, don't worry."
Devon stared at him for a moment then asked, "Are you alright? You look a little pale."
"I'm fine," he covered wondering how she couldn't hear the noise that invaded his head and threatened to burst his eardrums. She stood there for a moment then frowned slightly, "OK then, I'll see you later."
"Yes," he agreed, "later."End Part 6
Do You Know My Shadow? (7/17)
by Lisa 04
"Hello, Devon. Are you there?" Bess asked the other woman as she waved her hand in front of her face.
"What? Yes, I'm sorry, Bess. You were saying?" Devon answered. She was having trouble concentrating. Her mind kept wondering back to her earlier conversation with Sheppard. Why was he so reluctant to talk about himself? "I was saying that both counts were right and we're missing some supplies." "Yes, it looks that way," Devon agreed. "It must have been the Grendler that Walman thought he saw. Maybe we should try and find it's nest," Bess remarked. "That could be dangerous, I'm not sure it's such a good idea to confront one of those things."
"I'm not talking about getting back the supplies when it's around," Bess said, "we could find it's nest and get the stuff back when it leaves." "That's a possibility. We'll talk about it tonight at dinner," Devon conceded. "In the meantime, how are Morgan and Baines doing with the repairs on the perimeter sensors?"
"I think they've just about fixed the problem." "Good. We need to get them working again, especially if there are Grendlers around," Devon replied. "I'll be in the communications tent if anyone needs me."
"OK Devon," Bess nodded.Alonzo and Julia walked hand in hand through the trees. She still felt embarrassed about showing affection in public and he had waited until they were out of camp to take her hand. He always thought it was funny that ‘Doctor Julia' was so self -conscious when it came to matters of the heart. Nothing was supposed to faze her. She was supposed to have been trained to deal with any situation, emotional or otherwise. She had shown in those first few weeks, though, that the emotional side of medicine was not her strong point. He had found her rather cold and clinical at first. Oh, she was medically competent but her bedside manner left something to be desired. He had told her as much while he was recovering from his broken leg. There was something about her, though, that drew him to her despite the cold shoulder she gave him each time he turned on the charm. Maybe at first it was the challenge, after all he was the smoothest-talking-coldsleep-jumper around, but in time he realized it was much more. Julia brought about feelings he never though he would have..never thought he could have.
He watched as she lifted her face to the sky enjoying the warm glow of the sun which contrasted with the still crisp winter air. Why exactly he was attracted to her he couldn't have told someone if they had asked him those first few weeks after the crash. She was beautiful but didn't seem to realize it. He had been around quite a few gorgeous women in his many years but all had at least one thing in common, to some extent they knew they were beautiful. Julia, for some reason, never acted with the self-awareness that usually comes with knowing how attractive you are to the other sex. She still seemed surprised and perplexed when he told her how beautiful she was. She blushed so easily and looked so adorable when she did, that sometimes he would tease her just to see the light shade of pink highlight her cheeks. He always waited until they were alone, however, because he would never intentionally embarrass her in front of the group. If asked now, he would say that it was the whole package that attracted him; the intelligent, beautiful, unassuming woman that was Julia Heller. Her inexperience at love rejuvenated him and made him feel like a teenager again. That was quite a feat, considering he was essentially older than everyone, even Yale. Slowly she was gaining confidence in her feminine side and it was a wondrous thing for Alonzo to watch. Each day she was becoming more comfortable with showing her feelings. Each day she was becoming more comfortable with expressing her desires. He loved the woman that Julia Heller was, and the woman that she was becoming.
"Alonzo, why are you looking at me like that?" Julia asked, feeling the color that always began to rise in her face when she caught him staring at her. He smiled and caught her chin with the tips of his fingers, bringing her face close to his. "Because that's how a man is supposed to look at the woman he loves," he whispered as he captured her lips with his.The Elder paced back and forth on the dreamplane as he waited for the Terrians to return. He had come here seeking the answers that could affect many lives. "Will it hold?" he thought to himself, getting more anxious every minute that the Terrians stayed away. He was beginning to think they had forgotten him when three Terrians emerged from the ground in front of him. "I ask you again," he pleaded, "will it still work now that the long-haired one is in the ground?"
The three Terrians looked at each other then turned to him. The one in the middle stepped forward and trilled to the Elder. "Why can't you be certain?" he asked desperately. Again the Terrian trilled to him. He then returned to the others and all three disappeared into the ground, leaving the older man alone on the white, desolate sands of the dreamplane. The Elder opened his eyes and stepped back from the sleeping terrian, breaking contact as he did. "It's just as I feared," he whispered to no one. "I pray Sheppard is strong enough to keep it from happening again."Sheppard had watched Devon leave. The buzzing was becoming unbearable. He held his ears and pressed his hands to his head in an attempt to ease the pain. Then, as suddenly as the sound started, it stopped. Sitting back down on the log, he took some deep breaths and placed his hands over his face, rubbing his forehead.
"Hello Sheppard," a voice behind him whispered. He brought his head up and turned around quickly to find no one there. Thinking his mind was playing tricks on him, he stood up to leave. "I apologize for the noise, but we couldn't have you telling the beautiful Ms. Adair all our secrets now could we?" Sheppard looked around, trying to find the source of the voice. "Who are you? What's going on?"
"Do you really want to know?" the voice echoed from a distance. "Where are you?"
"Do you REALLY want to know?" the voice insisted. He was becoming angry, someone was toying with him and he was tiring of the game. "YES, I want to know. Who are you?" "Turn around."
Sheppard turned toward the voice. He gasped as he viewed the sight in front of him. Standing there was a ghostly image of himself. "Hello again Sheppard, it's been a long time." "What?..Who are you?" he stammered. His knees were becoming weak and he felt like he was going to pass out. He reached for the nearest tree to support himself.
"You know who I am...I'm you," the image answered, moving toward him. "No, this is insane. You're not me. You can't be." "Interesting choice of words," the image laughed, "but I assure you, we are the same."
"What do you want?" Sheppard asked, backing away from the approaching figure of himself.
"That's very simple...I want to be whole again. I want you." With those words, Sheppard's past came rushing back. The flood of memories overwhelmed him and he sank to the ground as darkness enveloped him.End part 7
Do You Know My Shadow? (8/17)
by Lisa 04
"Did you hear something?" Julia pulled away from Alonzo and looked past him to the trees beyond.
"No," he answered, turning to see what she was looking at. "I thought I heard someone talking," she said, walking toward the treeline at the edge of the clearing.
"Well, I didn't hear anything. Besides, everyone is back at camp." He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "Now, where were we?" he grinned as he bent to kiss her neck.
"I've got to get back to work, Alonzo," Julia sighed, forgetting about the noise that had caught her attention. "Come on... let's go," she said, leading the protesting pilot back to camp.Sheppard opened his eyes and sat up. "How long have I been here?" He started to get up when the memory of what had just happened hit him. He looked around quickly and seeing no one, he stumbled from the clearing. He walked at first. Then, as the realization of his past came to him, he began to run. He ran, trying to flee the memories of his past, tying to outrun the horrible images that swam before his eyes. Tripping over a rock, he fell to the ground. "My god, my god. It can't be true. I didn't do those things. It was Katarina," his mind screamed.
"Don't lie to yourself anymore," the voice said. "It was you." "No, it couldn't have have been. I'm not like that." "Don't kid yourself, Sheppard. You are like that," the voice whispered. "Remember...remember the power. People followed us. They worshipped us. That could be ours again, if you'll just let us be one." "No, leave me alone. I don't need you." "They will never accept you without me," the voice laughed. "Even Devon doesn't want you."
"Go away. Leave me alone," Sheppard screamed, turning to run back into the forest.Sheppard ran until he could no longer breathe. He collapsed onto the ground and gasped for air. Slowly, his burning lungs recovered and his breathing calmed. He lay there, staring up at the trees until he began to shiver from the coolness of the air. Sitting up, he clasped his coat around him. "Get a grip on yourself, man," he said aloud. "No matter what was done, it's in the past. It's all behind you now. You have changed." "Have you?"
Sheppard keeping his fear in check, turned to confront the forgotten part of himself, "Yes, I have changed."
"You fool, you haven't changed. It was just easier to pretend here," the voice taunted. "This planet has made you soft, but now that you remember the truth, you'll desire the same things that you did before." "I don't know what you are talking about." "We were a god back on the stations. People worshipped us and we thrived on it."
"You thrived on it."
"No, Sheppard... you were the one who needed the power. I just had the means to get it."
Remembering his past that was becoming clearer by the minute, Sheppard reluctantly agreed. "Yes, I was very powerful then, but I have been a leader here on this planet without you and the things you do. I didn't need to use your methods in order for these people to accept me." "Maybe you didn't need *my methods* to convince those mindless sheep in the caves to accept you, but these people are different. They don't need you. They already have leaders," the voice hissed. "You'll need me..." Those last words floated by Sheppard as the ghostly voice faded. Still shaken, he turned to head back to the camp."Devon? Are you busy?" Sheppard asked as he entered the communications tent. "Just going over some of the structural design simulation programs for New Pacifica," she looked up from the computer and smiled. "How was you're walk?" "Fine," he answered quickly. He studied her for a moment, then walked over to stand behind her.
"It looks like you've done quite a bit of work on some of the designs," he said, peering over her shoulder at the computer screen. "Yes, but I still have so much more to do," she sighed. "I'm just hoping I can at least have the designs for the hospital and the main hall done before we reach the coast. It seems that every time I sit down to work on them, something comes up."
"I would have thought the designs would have been done before you left the stations," Sheppard said.
"Well, they were, but the specs given to me by the Council about this planet weren't quite right. I've had to do some redesigning to make sure the buildings will be structurally sound. Besides, to keep our agreement with the Terrians, I've also had to make certain that they don't upset the surrounding ecology," she explained.
"Uhmm," he nodded, then continued, "Devon, you're working too hard. Why don't you let Yale do some of that?"
"Because it's not his job, it's mine," she answered, looking at him strangely.
Picking up on her irritation with his suggestion, he countered, trying to smooth things over, "I just meant that you don't have to do everything. These people are here to do that sort of work, to leave you time for more important things."
Turning around in her chair to look at him, Devon asked, "And just what do you consider more important than making sure New Pacifica is ready for the colony ship?"
"Devon, you should be organizing these sorts of tasks, not doing them. You're the leader, your job is to make certain things get done, not to do them all," Sheppard explained.
Her irritation growing, Devon replied, "My *job* is to pitch in and do my share of the work. These people don't work *for* me anymore, we work together. We all have to do whatever it takes to keep us together and moving toward New Pacifica. There are people counting on us to be there and ready for them when they arrive," she finished.
"Devon, I understand that but..." before Sheppard could finish, Uly rushed in.
"Mom, Mom, look at the neat Terrian staff Yale helped me make," he said, running over to show his prize to his mother. "Isn't it great?" Looking at the excitement in her son's eyes, Devon smiled. It was still so wonderful to see him healthy and playing like a normal 8 year-old. "Yes honey, it's great," she agreed as she watched her son run around the tent, swinging the stick at imaginary monsters. "But Uly, please don't swing that in here." Too caught up in his game to hear his mother, Uly continued scrambling around the tent.
"Take that, you dragon," he taunted as he jousted the air with his staff, "and that..."
"Uly, please...," Devon continued, trying to get her son's attention. "Mom, it's OK. I'm killing dragons, I won't break anything," Uly answered as he ducked an invisible swinging tail.
"Uly..."
Sheppard watched silently at first, then tired of the interruption. "Ulysses, do what your mother says," he said a little too sharply. Uly hesitated for only a second, flashing a glance at the older man, then continued with his game as if in defiance to Sheppard's order. Devon was surprised at the harshness of Sheppard's tone and stared at him, temporarily forgetting about her son's antics.
Outside, Danziger had been walking by the tent and overheard the exchange. Because the voices were muffled somewhat by the tent itself, he didn't catch the tone in Sheppard's voice. He stepped into the tent to see what was up and was surprised by the sight that greeted him. Uly was charging around the tent playing with a stick, and Devon was looking strangely at Sheppard. There was a tenseness in the air, and although he was immensely curious, he thought better of asking.
"Hey champ," he said, "why don't you give your mom a break and come help me with the transrover?"
Uly immediately stopped what he was doing and ran over to Danziger. "Cool. Can I Mom?" he pleaded.
Devon looked at Uly and nodded, "Yes...go ahead." She caught Danziger's gaze as he escorted Uly out of the tent and mouthed a silent *Thank you* to him. He nodded and gave her a wink before stealing a glance at Sheppard and then disappearing through the door.
Devon turned toward Sheppard and spoke, "Please don't take that tone with my son."
"I'm sorry Devon. I didn't mean to sound harsh. I was just trying to help because he wasn't obeying you like he should," Sheppard apologized. "He's only eight years old, Sheppard. For the first time in his life he is able to play like a normal child. He just gets a little over-excited and caught up in his games."
"I understand that Devon, but he should still respect and obey his elders," Sheppard said, trying to explain his actions. "Sometimes children have to be reminded of these things."
"Uly has always been very well-behaved and respectful," Devon returned, starting to get angry at the inferences that Sheppard was making. Sheppard, wanting to avoid anymore friction between them, agreed, "Of course you're right Devon. Uly is a fine boy. I didn't mean to imply otherwise. I'm sorry if it sounded that way. It's just been a very stressful day. I guess I'm just having a more difficult time adjusting to being away from my friends than I thought. I think I'll go lie down for awhile." Though Devon was still upset over the earlier exchange, she could empathize with Sheppard's situation. He had left the people he had lived with for over thirty years to be here with her. Even though she had been with the group that made up Eden Advance for only a few months, already they felt like family to her. She knew how upsetting it would be to be separated from them. Softening a little, she nodded. "I know how difficult this must be for you Sheppard. This is a totally new way of life for you to adjust to and I guess I just didn't realize how hard it could be. I'm sorry." "You don't need to apologize Devon. It's not your fault. It's just going to take some time," he said. "I'll see you a little later." "OK," she smiled, "have a good rest."
Nodding, Sheppard left. He emerged from the tent and looked over to where Uly was helping Danziger. The child was listening, mesmerized as the mechanic explained the design and function of the solar panels he was working on. Sheppard watched as Danziger smiled and ruffled Uly's hair when the young boy handed him a screwdriver. With his attention focused on helping the older man, the homemade Terrian staff that had excited Uly so much, lay forgotten on the ground. Sheppard stared at the twosome for a few more seconds then abruptly turned and walked quickly to his tent.End Part 8
Do You Know My Shadow? (9/17)
by Lisa 04
Devon stared at the computer monitor, trying to concentrate on the designs floating by on the screen before her. Try as she might though, her mind kept wandering back to the earlier episode with Sheppard. Her conversation, or what some might call an argument, with Sheppard was gnawing at her. 'That is just so unlike him,' she thought to herself. 'I can't believe he acted that way.'
Devon flashed back to a similar situation that arose with Richard. Only he wanted her to stop working altogether. "You should spend time socializing and doing more enjoyable things," he had told her then. At the time, she thought he was just concerned about her because she was working so much. She soon realized that he just wanted to control her and her company. He, in his egotistical thinking, didn't believe she could head a multi-million dollar company as well as he could. Well, she showed him. She turned that multimillion dollar company into a multi-billion dollar company. All of that was a lifetime ago, though. Now her life was completely different. She no longer worried about board meetings and business deals. Decisions she now made dealt with life and death...not only for herself, but for the others too. However, these decisions weren't made alone. Even though the group looked to her for guidance, all major decisions were made together. *All I'm saying is that you should put it to a vote.* Devon smiled as she remembered that first confrontation with John Danziger. She had just assumed that everyone would want to journey to New Pacifica. He made her realize that the stakes had changed and that the group would need to work together if they were going to survive. Until that point, she was used to making all the decisions regarding Eden Project herself. She remembered the warmth and relief she felt when she watched one hand after another go up in favor of the journey across the unknown terrain to New Pacifica. Snapping out of her reverie, Devon's thoughts again returned to the earlier episode with Sheppard. 'He's just feeling the pressure of being in a new place with new people,' she assured herself. She stared at the computer screen for a few moments longer, then deciding she probably wouldn't get any more work done, she got up to go and see what her son was up to.
"Hey Adair, how about giving us a little help over here?" Danziger said to her, as she approached the transrover. "It's time you got your hands dirty." "Well, here's one man who doesn't feel like I work too much," she mused to herself, bending down to see what he needed. Both he and Uly were looking underneath the vehicle.
"What do you need?"
"I've got to get up under the transrover to tighten the cooling pipe and I need Uly to help me hold it. I need you to hand me a couple of tools," he said, looking up at her.
"Well, I think I can handle that," she answered. For an instant, she wondered if it could be dangerous for Uly to be under the vehicle, but she knew that Danziger would never put her son in an unsafe situation. "Good. Come on, Uly. Let's get under there and get to work." "OK, Mr. Danziger. I'm ready," the boy answered. Lying on their backs, the pair squirmed under the transrover. Devon kneeled down, ready to hand the mechanic whatever tool he needed. "OK Uly, hold this here... Got it?" Devon heard Danziger's muffled voice say to her son.
"Got it," Uly answered.
"Hey Adair, hand me the number five wrench. It should be right there by the tire."
Devon looked around and spotted the tool right where he said it would be. Grabbing it, she placed it into his outstretched hand. "Here you go." "Thanks...You're doing great, Uly. Just keep holding it like that. I'm almost done. There...that ought to do it."
The job finished, both fellows emerged from under the vehicle. Uly slid out first, followed by Danziger.
"Great job, champ. I couldn't have done it without you," Danziger praised the young boy.
Uly was beaming.
Devon smiled at her son, covered in dirt and grease. "Uly, you'd better go get cleaned up now. It's almost time for dinner." "OK Mom," Uly said. "Thanks for teaching me about the solar panels, Mr. Danziger."
"You're welcome, Uly, and thanks again for all your help." He watched as Uly trotted off to the biodome. "That's some kid you got there, Adair." Devon smiled after her son. "Yes, I think he's pretty great." "So, what was going on in the tent?" he ventured. "Things looked a little out of control in there."
Devon frowned at him, "Nothing... Uly just got a little too excited, that's all."
"I'm not talking about Uly," Danziger pressed. "Nothing else was going on, Danziger," she said flatly. Very familiar with her ‘don't push it' tone, he decided to let it drop. "OK, whatever you say, Adair," he said, throwing his hands up in mock surrender. She frowned at him then continued, changing the subject, "Did Bess tell you about the missing supplies?"
"No, what are you talking about?" he replied, becoming serious again. "Well, we have some supplies missing and Walman has seen a Grendler lurking around the camp. Bess thought that maybe the Grendler snuck into camp and grabbed some of the supplies last night while the perimeter sensors were malfunctioning."
"Devon, I find it pretty hard to believe that a Grendler can *sneak* anywhere, much less into this camp undetected," Danziger answered. "Would you change your opinion if I said that Walman was on duty last night?" Devon added, alluding to the difficult time the narcoleptic crew member had in staying awake on duty.
"Ahh... well yea, that might make it a little easier," he agreed. "Bess thinks we should try and find where it's taken the supplies, then try and get them back."
"God knows we can't afford to lose any supplies," Danziger said. "That's true, but it could be dangerous and I'm not sure we should risk it," Devon countered.
"Devon, we're strapped for supplies as it is. We need to be as well-stocked as possible...especially if we're going to be back on the road soon." "I know, I know, but I still don't like it," she conceded. "I thought we'd talk about it with the group at dinner." "Good idea," he agreed. "Sounds like we need to get those sensors working, pronto."
"Baines and Morgan were working on them this morning, and I think they've fixed the problem."
"Hmmm, I think I'll go check and see how things are going anyway," Danziger said, skeptical that Baines and Morgan Martin could work together to fix anything.
"I'm sure they'll appreciate your input," Devon chuckled sarcastically, as Danziger got up to leave.Sheppard lie on his cot, mulling over the exchange with Devon and her son. *Why had he gotten so angry?* He had been annoyed that Ulysses barged in and interrupted them, and was also irritated that the boy wouldn't obey him. The thing that truly angered him, however, was the fact that Uly seemed to mind Danziger without question. He had felt the jealousy rise in him as he witnessed the fondness between the mechanic and the young boy. It also bothered him that Devon seemed relieved when John Danziger appeared at the tent opening. She didn't appear at all phased that her son readily obeyed Danziger, when just a few moments earlier, the boy had openly defied him. He was not used to people disobeying him. Returning to the present, he wondered to himself, "Why is this bothering me? Of course, the boy would pay more mind to Mr. Danziger. He has known him longer. In time, as Devon and I become closer, the boy will learn to look to me for guidance. As will Devon..." Something in the back of his mind, however, told him that it wouldn't be that easy. He rolled over, attempting to quell the growing discomfort that he had felt since encountering his ‘past'.
The group assembled for dinner and after the meal was finished, Devon stood up to address them. "Everyone... we have some things that we need to talk about and some decisions that need to be made..." she started, glancing over at Danziger who sat with True on his lap. "Some of you may have already heard that winter may soon be over," she continued, "and that we might be able to get back on the road to New Pacifica soon." "How soon?" Cameron asked from the back. "I'm not entirely certain," Yale answered, stepping up beside Devon. "But after analyzing the weather patterns over the last month, it could be as soon as a couple of weeks."
"That doesn't mean much if we can't find a way to get the vehicles out of this valley," grumbled Baines.
"You're right," agreed Devon. "That's why we need to step up our efforts to find a pass."
"Devon, we've been looking for a pass for several weeks now without any luck," Denner said, exasperated. "I mean, I don't think there is anywhere we haven't looked."
"Yeah," Morgan piped in. "What if we're just wasting our time? What if there isn't any way out of this God-forsaken place?" He started to get anxious. "We could be stuck here!" He was now entering one of his full-blown panic attacks. "Or worse yet, we could have to walk all the way to New Pacifica, and carry everything. My back can't take that, I can't do it! I'll die out there!" he finished, his eyes wide with terror, his breathing fast. Devon, used to Morgan's outbursts and overactive imagination (as were they all), sighed and looked over toward Bess. Bess, needing no prodding, tried to calm her anxious husband. "Morgan, honey, you're going to be fine. We all are."
Trying to help reassure him, Devon added, "Don't worry, Morgan. No one is going to have to carry anything. I'm sure we'll find a suitable pass for the vehicles."
"But, h..how can you be sure?" he stammered. "Morgan, there are lots of areas we weren't able to scout because the snow was too deep. Now that the snow is melting, we should be able to check them out, especially the area to the south. Laura and I were looking over the maps, and it seems to be the most likely place for a pass," she explained, patiently.
"So when do we start looking?" asked Baines. "I'm tired of being cooped up in this place," he said, looking over at Morgan and frowning. Having to spend an extended period of time with him earlier in the day had pretty much diminished Baines' tolerance level.
"What do you think, Yale?" Devon asked, her longtime friend. "If the sun stays out and the temperature continues to rise, I think the snow will be sufficiently melted in a couple of days for us to get to the area to the south of here," he nodded.
Sheppard sat in the back of the room and remained quiet, while the rest of the group discussed plans for scouting the terrain. He looked thoughtful and, when a lull occurred in the conversation, he cleared his throat. " Excuse me," he said, as everyone turned to look at the stranger, who had remained withdrawn since his appearance in the camp. "I don't think you should get too set on the fact that winter is over."
Devon stepped forward and was the first to speak, "What do you mean?" Sheppard looked around the group, glad to finally have their undivided attention. It felt good to have all eyes on him again. He stood up and assumed his most stately pose.
"The weather on this planet can be very deceiving, as I'm sure Mr. Danziger can attest to," he said, glancing in Danziger's direction. Danziger gave the other man an indecipherable look, but sat and listened without interrupting. "It might not be the best thing to start sending people out scouting for long distances, because the weather could still change at any minute. If there is one thing I've learned by living on this planet for the last 30 years, it's that the winters can be very long and harsh." He paused for dramatic effect then continued, "I don't think it would be wise for us to scout to the south until we have a clearer indication that the winter is over. We can't let ‘cabin fever' cloud our judgment and rush us into a decision we might regret." He finished and waited for the response from the group. He told himself that the reason he wanted to wait before they found a passage out of this valley was merely for safety's sake. Another part of him, however, knew that if he didn't establish his position in the group before they were on the road to New Pacifica, he might not get the chance again. He would simply fall into the pack of followers and would not be considered an integral part of the leadership of this band of travelers. That, he decided, was unacceptable to him.
Devon, thinking back to how suddenly the storm that stranded Danziger had come up, pondered Sheppard's point. "He could be right," she started. "Maybe we shouldn't rush into this." Devon still felt a tremendous responsibility for each and every person in the group and constantly worried about their safety. "Well, the weather has been pretty unpredictable all winter," Cameron agreed. Several other people started to agree that the weather had been quite harsh when Danziger spoke up. "Listen people, I'm sure that Yale knows what he's talking about. He has been using the specs about the weather gathered from previous satellite surveys of this planet, as well as a computer-generated analysis of the weather patterns over the last couple of months. He wouldn't tell us the winter was ending if he wasn't pretty darn sure about it." Danziger had walked up to the front of the group and stood between Devon and Yale to show his confidence in the tutor's analysis. "Look, Adair. We can't stay here forever," he said, turning to her. "New Pacifica isn't getting any closer while we sit here and wait for the Kobas to come out of hibernation." He glanced out at the group, then looked to the back at Sheppard. "I'm sure you know a lot about the winters here, but we just can't sit here and do nothing." He then turned back to Devon. "Even if the warming trend is only temporary, we could at least use the time to scout as much as possible. We can't let this opportunity go to waste." "You're right," Devon agreed. "We have to find a way out of here at some point, and we might as well take advantage of the warmer weather while we can." The rest of the group nodded in agreement. "It's settled then," Devon said. "We'll pair up into scouting parties as soon as the snow has melted some more and start looking for a pass to the south." Sheppard sat back down, unnoticed by the group which had turned their attention back to the people up front. He remained quiet, but inside he was filled with anger. "How dare they ignore me like that," he seethed. *Yes, how dare they* the voice agreed.
A few people started to get up to leave, but Devon stopped them. "We have something else we need to discuss. It seems a Grendler may have gotten past the faulty sensor and taken some supplies," she continued. "Are you sure?" Denner asked.
"We counted four times and still came up short, two crates of spirolina bars," Bess answered. "Walman saw a Grendler the other night, and that's the only thing strong enough to carry off two crates." "We can't afford to lose that stuff... we're practically starving as it is," Morgan whined, his stomach already protesting at the thought of less food. "Damn, slobberin' thieves," Baines mumbled "Why can't they just leave our stuff alone?!"
"Well, we need to decide what to do about it," Devon said over the rumblings of the group."We have to decide if we just cut our losses, or if we go and try to find where the Grendler took the crates." "I vote we go after our supplies," Morgan said, hunger gnawing at his stomach.
"It could be dangerous," Devon replied "We don't know a lot about them. They might react violently if they are cornered of feel threatened." "Oh, yeah... well then, maybe not," Morgan shrank back into his seat. He had let the fear of starving overrule his usual fear of everything else, but quickly came to his senses.
"Our supplies are tight. We can't afford to lose that food," Danziger said. "Especially if we're about to start traveling again." "I agree, we really can't afford to lose that food. But," she added, "we have to be very careful when we try to get it back. No amount of food is worth someone getting hurt." She emphasized the last point by looking around the room at everyone, who all nodded in agreement. "OK, people," Danziger finished, "we'll start putting together search teams tomorrow. In the meantime, let's keep sharp on guard duty and make sure that thing doesn't make off with anymore supplies...I'll take first watch." The group dispersed, as Devon pulled Danziger over to the side. "You're supposed to be taking it easy," she said. "I don't think staying up late to do watch was in Julia's treatment plan."
"Anybody ever tell you that you that you worry too much, Adair?" he said, shaking his head. "Besides, I'm fine. I don't need any more rest." "Alright, but don't come crying to me if you get sick again," she shrugged. "I promise, I won't," he grunted.
Sheppard observed from the back of the room as Devon and Danziger talked for a few moments longer. Danziger then turned and headed out of the room to start his shift on watch. Devon walked over to where Yale and Uly were sitting and bent over to whisper something to her son. Sheppard suspected that she told him it was time for bed, because the young boy frowned. Devon smiled at her protesting son and kissed him goodnight before she shooed him off to bed. She said a few words to the tutor, then he too left to turn in. She saw Sheppard and walked back to where he stood.
"Hi." For some reason, she felt uncomfortable around him. She wasn't certain why, but maybe it was because of what had happened earlier. "Hello," he answered. He was still upset at the group disregarding his advice, but he was more distressed by Devon listening to Danziger over him. Without thinking about it, he asked, "Devon, why did you ignore my advice?" Devon was taken aback for a moment, but recovered sufficiently to answer him. "I'm not sure what you mean?" she said. "I mean, why did you choose to take Danziger's advice over mine?" Devon was truly stunned by his question. "Sheppard, I know that you think the winter isn't over, but Danziger was right. We can't stay here forever. Even if the weather doesn't stay warm, we can at least use the time to look for a pass."
"Do you always do what Mr. Danziger suggests?" he asked, coolly. "If I agree with it, I do," she answered angrily, again not liking the implications he was making. "I don't understand why you're upset, but you have no reason to be." She paused, calming herself, "Things work a little differently around here. The decisions aren't made by just one person. We decided as a group to use the break in the weather to look for a pass out of here. I know that you have spent more time on this planet than any of us, but I trust Yale's judgment about the weather trends. At least the trends for the next couple of weeks..." She stopped, not wanting to get angry again. *This is not the time or the place for this* a voice in the back of his mind said. "Look Devon, I don't want to argue with you. I am just thinking about the welfare of the group," he lied, " I don't want anyone getting into the same situation that Mr. Danziger did when he got caught unaware by the weather."
"We'll be more careful, and no one will go out alone," she answered. "Now, I think I'll go tuck my son into bed and turn in myself." Sheppard smiled thinly, "Well, goodnight then. I'll see you in the morning." "Yes...goodnight," she answered, turning to leave. Sheppard watched her go, then walked out of the biodome into the night.End Part 9
Do You Know My Shadow? (10/17)
by Lisa 04
"Man, it's still freezing at night around here," Baines complained, handing over the magpro to Danziger. He had just come from doing a quick perimeter check before turning the watch duties over to the mechanic. "Yeah, but you'll get that blistering heat that you love so much, soon enough," Danziger scoffed sarcastically, referring to the other man's tendency to complain about the weather no matter what it was like. It was no secret that the Ops crewman preferred the controlled climate of the stations to the unpredictable meteorological conditions of G889. "Oh yeah, I didn't think about that. Hey, you remember how hot it got in that desert? Man, I thought we were gonna all fry to death. I didn't think I was gonna ever stop sweating. I remember feeling like...." Baines went on, now focused on how much he hated the heat of the summer. Suddenly, Danziger was sorry he brought it up.
"Hey Baines, don't worry about it. I'm sure we'll have a little leeway with some more comfortable weather before the heat sets in," he said, trying to deter the other man from launching into another I-hate-the-weather-on-thisplanet monologue. "You'd better get some sleep. Big day ahead tomorrow." "Yeah, you're right. Have a quiet watch. See ya in the morning." "Night," Danziger said, as Baines headed to his tent.Sheppard had returned to the tent that he shared with Yale. He was careful not to wake the other man when he entered. Each time he stepped into this tent he felt a twinge of anger. This was *not* where he should be sleeping. This arrangement was quickly becoming unacceptable. The whole situation with Devon and the group was becoming unacceptable. He thought that he could handle it... that with patience and time things would be like they were in the caves. He was starting to realize that that may never happen. Devon was different now than when he entered her dreams. She was willful and strong. He no longer had the influence over her that he once had. "My influence has been replaced by Mr. Danziger's," he thought angrily.
*Your influence isn't the only thing that Mr. Danziger has replaced* the voice taunted.
"Don't start with me again," Sheppard hissed, then remembered that Yale was in the other cot. "Get out of here and leave me alone. I don't want anything to do with you," he whispered, careful not to wake his tentmate. *Are you certain about that?* the voice said. "Yes, I'm certain. Now leave," Sheppard spat. *You'll call me back* it whispered. *You need me* Sheppard went to his cot and sat down. "I don't need you," he said through his clenched teeth. "Everything is under control. I have everything under control." He lay back, trying to calm himself and soon fell into a deep sleep. That's when the dreams began.By the time she got to their room, Uly was fast asleep. Devon pulled the blanket up to cover him and gently kissed him on the forehead. She looked at the sweet smile on his lips as he dreamed and thought to herself, 'This child never seems to worry about anything.' She chuckled to herself, "I guess Danziger was right. I worry enough for the both of us." That thought brought her back to the disturbing exchange she had just had with Sheppard. 'I don't understand what is wrong with him,' she was thinking, as she turned down her bed.
The two encounters that Devon had with him today disturbed her. She wondered why he was acting so defensive about her taking Yale and Danziger's advice regarding the weather. She was also still upset at the way he had talked to Uly, and his implication that she should let the ‘others' do the work. 'That just isn't like him... not like the man I met in my dreams anyway,' she told herself. She tried to convince herself that he was just having a hard time adjusting to the new surroundings and people, but it wasn't working. She tossed and turned in her bunk, thinking about Sheppard, the stolen supplies, and finding a pass that would allow them to get back on the road to New Pacifica. Uly stirred, slightly awakened by her restlessness, but quickly returned to sleep. Devon, knowing that she wasn't going to fall asleep anytime soon and not wanting to wake up her son, got up and went out into the main room of the biodome. Not certain what to do once she was out of her room, she walked over to the counter and poured herself a cup of coffee. She sat there for awhile, then got up and grabbed her coat. Pouring a second cup of coffee, she headed outside, careful not to spill the two cups of steaming liquid."Don't shoot, it's just me," Devon said quickly, as she approached Danziger who had spun around when he heard her behind him. "Adair, what are you doing out here? It's late... and cold," he said, accepting the offered cup of coffee.
"Nothing. Just wanted to check and see how things were," she said nonchalantly, sitting next to him on the crate. "Anything going on?" "Nope, all quiet on the western front." He eyed her suspiciously as he sipped his coffee, grateful for the warmth it provided. "You checkin' up on me, Adair?"
"No," she said quickly. He kept looking at her. "Yes," she admitted, finally. "You're somethin', you know that?" he said, laughing and shaking his head. She laughed with him then said, "Hey, be nice. I brought you coffee." "Alright, I'm sorry," he said, raising his cup to her. "Thank you." "You're welcome."
They sat there drinking their coffee for awhile. Devon was staring off into the night, prompting Danziger to ask, "Is there something else bothering you?" "No. Why do you ask?" she said, returning her gaze and her thoughts to the present.
"Well, although I know I'm wonderful company, you can't tell me you'd rather be out here in the freezing cold, drinking this liquid mud with me, when you could be all wrapped up and toasty in your bunk," he said, looking down at her.
She scoffed, "Wonderful company, huh? I think I'll leave that one alone." "That's probably a good idea," he smiled. "Now spill it. What's the matter?" "I was just having trouble getting to sleep, that's all," she answered. "Adair, if you're having trouble sleeping, it's because something's on your mind."
She sighed. 'He's probably the last person I should talk with about this' she thought to herself, 'but there doesn't seem to be anyone else around to talk to.' She hesitated, then started, "It's Sheppard..." "What about him? Did he do something to you?" Danziger interrupted. "No, he didn't do anything to me," she stopped him. "I knew this was a bad idea. I'll just go back to my room...." "No wait, Devon," Danziger said quickly, catching her arm as she stood up to leave. "I'm sorry. Look, just sit down and tell me. I promise to shut up and listen."
She looked at him for minute, then sat back down. "OK, but you have to promise to listen and not give me any lectures." "Cross my heart," he said, making the gesture with his free hand. "It's just that he's said a couple of things today that were out of character for him, and I guess I was just a little confused by it." 'And how do you know what's ‘in character' for him?' he wanted to say, but stopped himself. "Does this have anything to do with what I walked in on earlier with Uly and you two?"
"Yes," she answered.
"What happened?"
"We were talking and Uly came in all excited about the Terrian staff Yale had helped him make," Devon began. "He was running around the tent playing, and didn't hear me when I asked him to stop. He had that selective hearing that children get sometimes," she said looking over at Danziger, who smiled and nodded his understanding. "Well, when he didn't stop, Sheppard tried to step in and help...."
"And?" Danziger prodded when she hesitated. She glanced at him, a look of concern on her face. "It wasn't what he said," she continued. "It was how he said it...his tone of voice." "What did he say?"
"He said, *Ulysses, do what your mother says*. His tone though, was so sharp, almost like he was ordering my son to obey me," she answered. "After you came in and took Uly to help you, I asked him about it." "And what did he say?" Danziger asked, concerned. "He said he was just trying to help and that Uly should respect his elders... that sometimes children need to be reminded to respect their elders," she finished.
"Well, that's a crock," Danziger scoffed. "Uly is one of the best behaved kids I ever met. He is very respectful of other people." Devon nodded, "Well, I like to think so. Yale and I have always tried to teach him to respect others."
"Devon, you and Yale have done a terrific job raising Uly. Don't let anyone tell you different. He's a great kid," Danziger assured her. She smiled, "Thank you, but I don't think that he was implying Uly wasn't a good child. It was more like his attitude towards the episode in general was different. He seemed to forget that Uly is just a child, that he can get excited about things and be a little rambunctious. I don't know, he just didn't seem to have any tolerance for the whole thing." "Man, if there's one thing you need with kids, it's tolerance," Danziger sighed, remembering all the times that True nearly drove him crazy. "That's for sure," Devon agreed. "He didn't seem that way with the children in the caves. They all seemed very fond of him," she continued. "Well, I know that True is a little scared of him," Danziger added. "Why?" Devon asked.
"He just gives her the willies," Danziger answered. "I think it's because of what Katarina said to her about him being bad." "Well, she was obviously a very disturbed woman," Devon discounted. "Maybe...maybe not," he said. "You know, when we left, the Elder told me to *be careful*."
"I'm sure he was just talking about you still being sick," Devon said. "Maybe, but what if he wasn't?"
"If there was anything to be concerned about, I'm sure the Elder would have said something."
Danziger didn't want to get Devon defensive by getting into an argument about what the Elder did or did not mean, so he changed the subject. "Has Sheppard done or said anything else ?"
"He was very upset that we decided to scout for a pass despite his warnings about the weather." She didn't tell Danziger that Sheppard was also upset that she had sided with Danziger and Yale on that decision. "Why is he upset about that?"
"I'm not sure. I guess he's just not used to people not taking his advice," Devon shrugged. "He used to make most of the decisions himself," she added to try and explain.
"Well, he'd better get used to it, ‘cause that's how things are done around here," Danziger said. He looked at her and smiled wryly. "You did." "I didn't have much choice. You were pretty convincing," she remarked with a chuckle, referring to the ‘little conference' they had about decision-making when they first landed on this planet. He was very adamant about letting the group vote on whether or not they wanted to try and reach New Pacifica. She had to admit, that she liked it better this way. It was only right that everyone got a vote in making decisions that affected them. She didn't want the responsibility of making decisions that could effect the lives of the group by herself.
Danziger looked at Devon. She had changed quite a bit since they crashed on this planet. So had he, for that matter. She used to be as-cool-as-ice, all business. He didn't think anything could phase her until he saw her when Uly disappeared. The woman was frantic, willing to do anything to save her son. He would be the same way if True had disappeared into the ground. All barriers came down then, and she was simply a mother, not a businesswoman who ran a multi-billlion dollar company. She was a mother who would do anything and everything to make sure her son had a chance to live. He realized that she would have still come to this planet, even if no one else came with her. She did this for her son, but welcomed anyone else who wanted to come along to give their child a chance to live as well. After Uly was healed, she was determined to make sure that the other colonists would have the same opportunity for their children. Hell, she was so set on trekking across the continent to New Pacifica, he thought she would have gone on, even if the group had voted to stay where they were. She realized that they all had a choice, however, and put aside her own agenda to allow everyone to decide for themselves. Granted, he helped her realize this, but she did, nonetheless. She would occasionally slip back into her boss-lady role, but he was there to remind her that these people no longer worked for her, but with her. "What are you looking at?" Devon asked, noticing him staring at her. "You," he answered, simply.
She suddenly became self-conscious. "Well, why are you looking at me? Do I have coffee on my face or something?" She reflexively brought her hand up to brush her face.
"No," he laughed, catching her hand to keep her from wiping her face unnecessarily. He held it for a second, then let it go. "I was just thinking about how much we've changed since crashing onto this rock." "Yes, you're much easier to get along with now," she kidded, emphasizing the word *much*.
"Funny, Adair," he said. "Seriously, don't you think you've changed?" She thought about it for a moment then nodded. "Yes, I guess I have." Realizing he might have a way to help Devon see his point regarding Sheppard without making her mad, he continued, "Well, don't you think maybe Sheppard could have changed too?" She had previously refused to judge Sheppard on who he might have been before he came to this planet, choosing instead to judge him on how she perceived him in her dreams. Since she didn't buy his aleopard -doesn't-change-its-spots point yesterday, maybe she'd be willing to believe that the man could have at least changed from the time she first met him in those so-called dreams. "Maybe he isn't the man you met in those dreams anymore."
She sat there, knowing that maybe he was right, but not wanting to admit it. Finally, she agreed, "I guess you could be right." He sat there, not saying anything.
"You're not going to say *I told you so*?" she asked, amazed that he would let this opportunity slip by.
"No," he said. "I'm just glad you've realized that that guy might not be all he seems."
"I didn't say I thought he was a horrible person..." she began. "Me neither," he added quickly. "I just think we should take a step back and be a little more careful before making any final decisions about him. Don't you?"
She paused, then answered quietly, "Yes." They sat there for a moment, neither saying anything. Finally, Danziger broke the silence. "You ought to get some sleep. We've got a big day tomorrow setting up scout parties for finding that Grendler's nest and a pass for the vehicles."
"I know, but I don't think I can get to sleep and I don't want to wake up Uly with my tossing and turning," she sighed. "Why don't you check with Julia? She could give you something. I think she's still awake because I saw a light on in her tent," Danziger suggested. "Yeah, maybe I'll do that," Devon said, standing up and looking over toward the medtent.
"Good luck."
"Thanks," she smiled weakly, then added, "Who's relieving you?" "Cameron, in about an hour," he said, glancing at the chronometer on his wrist.
"Well, you try and get some sleep yourself." "Not a problem, unless True decides to snore again," he grinned. She chuckled, "Goodnight."
"'Night." Danziger sat back against the crate and smiled. He was relieved that Devon had finally started to have some questions about Sheppard. He didn't trust him and he was glad that Devon wasn't putting her complete trust in him any more either. It's not that he had anything personal against the guy. Heck, he'd practically saved his life. He just had a bad feeling about him that he couldn't shake. He felt like the older man just wasn't what he seemed. 'Well, now we can see what's up with him,* he thought to himself, *and I can stop worrying about Devon having the wool pulled over her eyes.'Despite the sub-freezing temperatures, a sheen of sweat covered Sheppard's forehead. He was asleep but dreaming. The dream started with him standing on a ledge, looking over the terrain. The land was scorched and desolate. No signs of life were visible. Where there should have been trees, there were only burned out stumps. A lake that should have held crystal blue water was filled with black filth. It was daytime, but there was no sunlight. The sky was filled with a gray haze that gave the scenery a haunting look. He drew in a deep breath, and the stench of the place hit him. It was a combination of smoldering brush and filth. There was another smell, one that was familiar to him. He couldn't place it at first then he realized... the smell was death. The death of a planet.
He slowly began to recognize the scene in front of him. It wasn't G889 like he had originally thought. It was Earth... the earth that he had been forced to leave all those years ago. It was a stark contrast to the planet he now lived on. The earth of old was a dead planet; this one was alive and vibrant. The wind swirled up around him and whispered, *This was yours.* Suddenly the scenery changed. He was now standing on a mountaintop looking out over G889. The lush, green landscape stretched out before him. The air smelled of evergreens and flowers. The sun shone warmly on his face. Returning, the breeze enveloped him. *This could be yours too,* it hinted. Sheppard surveyed the land. It really was a beautiful planet. Unlike Earth, this place was untouched and unspoiled. Here, things could be different. Life could be different. He had lived safely under the ground long enough. He no longer feared this planet or the life it held. 'With Devon by my side, the possibilities are endless,' he smiled. *What makes you think Devon will be by your side?* Sheppard turned and faced his shadow. The forgotten part of him continued. *She won't be with you Sheppard, not unless you let me help you.* "You don't know what you're talking about. Devon will be with me. She loves me," Sheppard said angrily.
*She cares for another, not you.*
"Stop it."
*You know I am telling the truth. You saw for yourself the influence he has on her. You no longer have control over her,* the dark image sneered. *Without me, you have become weak.*
"I am not weak. I am as strong as ever," Sheppard hissed. "Devon will be mine, and once again, I will be a leader." *If you believe that, you're a bigger fool than I thought,* the image taunted. *You can't even control the child.* Sheppard started to angrily reply, but caught himself. He realized what the dark form was trying to do. He would not be manipulated by this ‘shadow' of his former self. "I know what you are trying to do and it won't work. Devon will come around, and so will her son," he said calmly. *You're wrong,* his shadow whispered. *Let me show you how wrong you are.* Suddenly the scenery changed again, and Sheppard was surrounded by a white, swirling fog. As he turned and looked into the dense fog, he spied a form. Slowly he approached, until he realized that the form was actually two people locked in a passionate embrace. At first he watched, unable to make out their faces.
The man held the woman close, his face nuzzling her neck. She laughed as he whispered something in her ear, then sighed with pleasure when he returned to planting small kisses on her neck. His kisses trailed down her body until she reached for him and brought his lips back up to meet hers. Sheppard was moving closer when the fog started to clear. The woman brought her face up as she pulled the man closer. Sheppard squinted and drew his breath in sharply when he realized who the woman was. It was Devon. Her eyes were closed and she moaned as the man again began to move down her body with caressing kisses. Sheppard smiled. He recognized everything now. This was one of the dreams that he and Devon shared. Obviously, she still dreamed about him. He began to enjoy the scene before him. The man that Sheppard assumed was himself moved to bring his face near Devon's. She smiled and caressed his face. When the man turned to kiss the palm of her hand, Sheppard gasped in shock. The man was not him...it was John Danziger.
Sheppard screamed in anger. He bolted upright in his bed, covered with sweat and struggling to catch his breath. He rocked back and forth to calm himself. "It was just a dream," he told himself, "just a dream." He glanced over to make certain Yale was still asleep, then quietly dressed and crept out of the tent."Where are you," Sheppard hissed.
*I'm here,* his shadow answered.
Sheppard turned to face the source of his anger. "It won't work," he said through gritted teeth. "I will not fall prey to your lies and deception. This is all just a ploy to make me accept you back into my life, and it won't work."
*I'm afraid it isn't a lie, Sheppard. What you saw is what the future holds,* the image said calmly. *...Unless you do something about it.* "Devon would never be with him. She wants me...She trusts me," Sheppard retorted.
*Don't be so certain, Sheppard. If you want proof, follow me.* The dark image led the other man toward the middle of the camp. As they rounded the corner of one of the tents, Sheppard heard voices. He stopped and peered around the tent. He saw Devon and Danziger sitting on a crate in the middle of the camp engaged in a conversation. He crept closer and strained to hear what was being said.
"What are you looking at?" Devon asked Danziger. "You."
"Well, why are you looking at me? Do I have coffee on my face or something?" Sheppard watched as she moved to brushed her face. He also watched as Danziger laughed at her and caught her hand, holding it for a moment longer than needed. He fumed with anger and jealousy, almost charging out from his hiding place to confront the other man. He stopped himself, but continued to move closer so that he could hear better.
"I was just thinking about how much we've changed since crashing onto this rock."
"Yes, you're much easier to get along with now," Devon smiled at Danziger. "Funny, Adair," he said. "Seriously, don't you think you've changed?" "Yes, I guess I have."
Sheppard continued to watch as the other man hesitated for a moment. "Well, don't you think maybe Sheppard could have changed too?" Danziger paused as if waiting for her reaction before continuing, "Maybe he isn't the man you knew in those dreams anymore."
Sheppard waited to hear Devon's answer to this question, certain that she would defend him.
"I guess you could be right."
Sheppard was shocked. He couldn't believe that Devon now doubted him. He moved back behind the tent.
*I told you your control over her was waning,* the shadow said. *She is no longer swayed by the dreams that you shared. You no longer influence her. Without her support, you will be no more than a ‘helper' to these people. You will be insignificant.*
Sheppard started to feel queasy. The image was right. He could feel Devon slipping away. He knew that the mechanic was in love with her, even if the man didn't realize it himself. Tonight, he saw how Devon looked at the other man and began to believe that she too had hidden feelings. He thought about all the work he had done, all the years that he waited for her to come to him. He wasn't going to give up without fighting for what he wanted...what he desired. Turning to his shadow, he said, *What can we do?* The image smiled. For the first time, Sheppard acknowledged that they were one and the same.
*There is a way,* it said. *Come with me.* The ghostly figure walked to the perimeter of the camp with Sheppard following. It looked at Sheppard who bent down and tried several code combinations, finally inactivating the sensor. Sheppard sneered and shook his head, "that was too easy." Both he and the image then disappeared into the black night.End Part 10
Do You Know My Shadow? (11/17)
by Lisa 04
The two figures made their way through the forest. The moons were hidden by the clouds making it difficult to see. Sheppard stumbled as he hurried to keep up with the form in front of him. "Where are we going?" he gasped, trying to catch his breath.
"You'll see," the shadow said, pushing forward through the trees. They continued for almost a half an hour before the figure slowed and came to a stop in front of a crevice in the side of a hill. "What is this? Where are we?" Sheppard asked. "This is where we take the final step," the figure answered cryptically. He then disappeared into the opening, beckoning for Sheppard to follow. Sheppard hesitated for a moment, then quickly chased after his other side.Devon tapped quietly on the outside of the medtent just in case Julia was asleep.
"Come in," Julia said.
Devon entered the tent. Julia was sitting at her workbench gazing through the microscope but looked up when the other woman walked in. "Hi, Devon," Julia said, a puzzled look crossing her face. "What are you doing up so late? Is there anything wrong?" "No, nothing's wrong," Devon assured the doctor. "I was just having some trouble getting to sleep and I was wondering if you could give me something." "Sure," Julia answered, loading up a sedaderm. "Here you go," she said as she handed it to Devon.
"Are you sure you're OK?"
"Yes, I'm fine. I'm just a little keyed up thinking about all the things that have to be done in the next few days," Devon sighed. "Thanks for the sedaderm. Goodnight."
"Goodnight," Julia nodded, as Devon left medtent.The shadow led Sheppard deep into the cavern. They wound their way downward, further and further from the surface. They passed through tunnels lined with the glowing yellow rock that the Terrians used to communicate with the planet and each other. It seemed the deeper they went, the more there was of the phosphorescent mineral. Sheppard quietly followed the figure, watching as it disappeared into an opening at the end of the tunnel. As he emerged into the room, Sheppard gazed around at the Terrians that lined the walls. Each was enclosed in an earthen bed, dreaming, as they sought to strengthen their union with the planet.
"What are we doing here?" Sheppard asked, turning back to the image of himself that stood in the middle of the room. "We're here to take the final step and get back what is ours," the figure answered, moving toward Sheppard. "It's time that we undo what should have never been done."
"What are you talking about?"
"You want what is yours, don't you?"
"Yes, I told you that. I'm not going to let anyone get in the way of what I want anymore," Sheppard confirmed. Uncertainty shone in his eyes, however. "Your eyes betray you, my friend," the shadow contended. "I can see that you are still unsure of what needs to be done. Have you forgotten what you have seen? What will happen unless you do something to change it?" The image moved closer to him, standing directly in front of the hesitant man. "I thought you realized that you can never have what you want without being whole again." Looking into the other man's eyes, the shadow whispered, "It is time for you to decide...you must choose your path and the means by which you will travel it."
Sheppard flashed back to the events that had brought him to this point. He replayed the frustration he felt about not being with Devon, the anger he felt at her son's disobedience, and the humiliation and betrayal that he felt as she continued to look toward John Danziger for advice and support. His minimal role in this group's existence was something that was unacceptable to him. He was not used to being a follower. He was, and always will be, a leader. *That* was his destiny. He knew this back on earth, and no matter how much he had *changed* after coming to this planet, he knew it here too. He realized that he would never be looked upon to lead this group as long as Devon depended on someone else. The final vision he had of her in Danziger's arms and the awareness that Devon's feelings for the man were deeper than even she realized, served to strengthen his resolve. Sheppard slowly turned to his shadow and said, "I am ready. I know what must be done." "Good," smiled the dark figure. "You have made the right choice." The image moved toward Sheppard then stopped directly in front of him. "You must take the final step, Sheppard."
Nodding his head in understanding, the older man moved forward and embraced his past. As the two figures melded to become one, his eyes were opened to all that he used to be. "It's good to be back," he sighed with a smile, before falling to the ground.Devon tiptoed into the room that she shared with her son, being careful not to wake him. Taking off her coat and boots, she thought back to the things that Danziger had said during their conversation. ‘He's right,' she sighed to herself as she fluffed her pillow before lying down on her cot. Resolving to talk with Sheppard tomorrow about his past, she pushed the sedaderm to her neck and released the tranquilizer. As she drifted off to sleep, she dreamt about the coming spring and their continuing journey to New Pacifica.
Sheppard slowly opened his eyes and found himself staring at the feet of a sleeping Terrian. He sat up and closed his eyes, taking a minute to orient himself. He stood and breathed a deep sigh of relief. He saw everything with such clarity now. Confidence and strength pulsed through his veins. He could not remember the last time he had felt so alive. There had always seemed to be something missing before, but now he felt as if nothing was beyond his reach. "Nothing is going to keep me from getting what I want. Katarina's meddling only served to delay the inevitable," he said aloud as he approached the sleeping Terrian. "It's time to take back what is mine and to finish what I started." Sheppard smiled as he placed his hand on the Terrian, "and I know just how to do it." He relaxed and allowed his mind to use the Terrian as a conduit to the dreamplane. Suddenly he was on the mesa of the dream realm that had become his tool so long ago. "Time to get to work," he declared as he set out across the plane.
Devon stood on the cliffs overlooking the vast ocean that bordered New Pacifica. The warm wind gently blew her hair around her face. She couldn't believe that they had finally made it to their destination. She looked down to where her son played on the beach with the other healed syndrome children. She smiled at the sight of the healthy children running. It was all so wonderful. The colony had been set up in time and the colonists had welcomed the Terrians' help in curing their children. Both species had learned to live in harmony with each other and now she was free to simply watch her son grow. That was all she had ever wanted. She began to walk down to the beach when a voice called to her.
"Devon."
She turned to find the voice but couldn't. All she could see were the buildings of New Pacifica in the distance surrounded by the native foliage they had left undisturbed. She had started back down the path when she heard a voice call her name again. This time she turned to find Sheppard standing by the edge of the cliff.
"Hello Devon," he smiled.
"Sheppard," she returned, smiling. "Isn't it wonderful? Everything has turned out perfect. All the children have been healed. Just look at them." She gestured toward the beach where the laughter of the children could be heard over the soft roar of the waves.
"Yes, it's wonderful Devon," he agreed, "but it isn't going to be like this if things continue on the path that you have chosen." "What do you mean?" she asked, confusion clouding her mind. "Look again," he answered, turning back to the scene on the beach. Devon followed his gaze but saw nothing this time. The children that were playing had disappeared.
"Where did they go?" she asked, worried. "Where are the children?" "They are gone."
"What do you mean they are gone??!!" she demanded. "I mean they are *gone*, Devon," he said sadly, shaking his head. "They didn't make it." He pointed, indicating that she should turn around. She gasped as she turned and saw the headstones. Walking up to them she read aloud several of the names inscribed. "Miles Taylor...Mary Blight...Samuel Asher..." Turning back to Sheppard she said, choking back the tears, "Those are the names of some of the syndrome children on the colony ship." "I know," Sheppard answered solemnly.
"What...what happened?" she cried. "They were supposed to be healed. The Terrians were going to heal them."
"They would have if you had listened to me, Devon." "What are you talking about?" she implored, distraught at the thought that she could have done something that would have doomed the children. "Devon, choices you made in the past influenced the future. You chose to listen to people who led you down the wrong path. Events that happened from those decisions resulted in the failure of the colony and the death of the children," Sheppard explained.
A look of horror crossed Devon's face. "I don't understand what you're talking about."
"To be specific," he continued, "you chose to listen to the advice of people who didn't understand this planet or the intricate way it functions." He used his considerable knowledge of the dreamplane to emphasize his words and drive his point home. The surroundings changed suddenly and they were standing in the center of New Pacifica. The area looked like a war zone. Most of the buildings were crumbled ruins with vines overgrowing them. The ones that were still standing were burnt out shells. Save for the overgrowth of plants, there were no signs of life.
"What happened?" she asked, shocked at the sudden change. "The Terrians destroyed the colony."
"What? Why?"
"They refused to heal the children and destroyed the colony because the colonists failed to keep the promises that were made." "What promises? I still don't understand what you're talking about," she said, confused at his implications.
"Devon, you don't remember, but you made promises to the Terrains when they healed your child," Sheppard explained. "The colonists didn't feel bound by your agreement and became greedy."
Devon shook her head as if to clear it so that she could understand what Sheppard was saying. "What did they do?" "They decided that they didn't want to live by the Terrians' rules regarding this planet. The Terrians became obstacles in their drive to conquer and control G889. Many Terrians were killed before they fought back." Knowing exactly what to say, Sheppard paused before continuing. "Even your son's link with the Terrians wasn't enough to change what happened." She blinked, an unfathomable thought creeping into the back of her mind. "What happened to Uly...what happened to the others?" Sheppard looked directly at her and said in a quiet voice, devoid of emotion, "They're dead...they're all dead."
Devon gasped as her knees buckled. She couldn't breathe. She felt as if everything was suddenly collapsing in on her and choking the very life from her. She sank to the ground as a quiet sob escaped from her throat. "No, it's not true...it can't be," she cried. She looked up at Sheppard, her eyes begging him to tell her it was all a horrible mistake. Sheppard's face softened. He reached down and gently helped Devon stand, wiping the tears from her cheeks. He pulled her to him and soothed, "It's OK Devon. It will all be OK."
"How can it be alright if everyone is dead?" she said bitterly, pulling away from him.
Sheppard was surprised at Devon's reaction. He hadn't anticipated that she would react with anger to his manufactured revelations. Nonetheless, he knew that he controlled this dream and could use everything to his advantage. He quickly recovered from his initial shock and proceeded with his agenda. "Devon, this doesn't have to happen. You...we can stop it," he assured. Devon looked at him, surprised. "How can I stop it. I'll do anything. I can't let this happen," she said.
Sheppard smiled to himself. This was exactly what he wanted. Placing his hands on her shoulders, Sheppard met Devon's pleading gaze. "Devon, I know this planet and I know the Terrians. I can help guide you and the colonists in your decision making. If you will trust me, I assure you we can keep this from ever happening."
"I don't understand," Devon uttered, confused. "What are you saying?" "I'm saying that I'm the only one who knows how to keep this from happening. You must trust me and no one else. You can't afford to misplace your trust in others who may not have the best interest of the Terrians and this planet as a priority," he lied.
Devon stood there, stunned at his implications that some of the colonists or Eden Advance members would be capable of trying to destroy the Terrians and G889. She didn't want to believe him but she had seen the destruction. She was feeling disoriented and confused about everything he was saying. She tried to clear her head and think about this logically, but for some reason she couldn't. Every time she tried, things became more unsettling. Sheppard watched Devon. He could see the turmoil in her eyes. It was time to end this dream. He had done what he needed to do. "Devon, you look so tired. You should rest now. Everything will work out alright," he promised. Suddenly she became extremely tired, and lay down on the ground. "When you wake up, you won't remember the specifics of this dream, Devon," Sheppard whispered as she closed her eyes. "You will, however, remember who you must listen to...who you should and should not trust."
Devon turned restlessly in her cot, on the verge of consciousness, but unable to fully awaken because of the sedative. She soon settled. Her breathing evened as she began to dream on her own. She smiled, a sigh escaping from her lips as once again she watched her son and the other children playing on the beach.End Part 11
Do You Know My Shadow? (12/17)
by Lisa 04
Sheppard opened his eyes and stepped back from the sleeping Terrian. He sighed, rubbing his forehead. Using the dreamplane in this manner had always been very taxing but not as much as this time. Before with Devon, it was easier because she was more vulnerable. Though , her will was stronger now and much harder to manipulate. Sheppard, however, knew the right buttons to push. He always excelled at finding and exploiting the weaknesses of others. That, in his mind, is what made him a natural leader. "Well, one mission accomplished," he thought, "but I have one more thing to attend to." He took a deep breath and again approached the sleeping Terrian. Placing his hands on the alien being, he began to concentrate.
Uly sat up suddenly. Something had awakened him. He looked around the room until his eyes settled on his mother. She was sleeping soundly in her cot, facing him. She appeared to be sleeping quietly but occasionally she would frown and stir. He watched her for a moment, unsure of why he felt uneasy. Something wasn't right but he couldn't quite figure it out. He felt as if he should know what was wrong but the pieces weren't falling into place. He'd had problems before when the Terrians' would try and communicate with him on the dreamplane. His young mind was not quite developed enough to grasp many of the messages they tried to convey. That's why most of the dreamplane communication between their group and the Terrians occurred through Alonzo. The young boy just wasn't mature enough to take on that role. He tried to remember what he had dreamed, but the images simply wouldn't come. Though he couldn't recall the contents of the dream, he did remember feeling a sense of urgency from the Terrians. They seemed very concerned and upset. He watched his mother for awhile longer, feeling as if the message had something to do with her but not knowing for certain. She continued to sleep with an undefinable look on her face. He yawned as sleep began to creep up on him. Snuggling under the covers, he resolved to ask Alonzo in the morning if he'd had any contact with the Terrians.
This time Devon found herself in a white room. Somehow it seemed familiar, like she had been here many times before. She looked around the room. White clouds billowed around her, obscuring any objects that were more than a few feet away. Glancing down at herself, she found that she was clothed only in a white robe. She began to wonder why she was there, when two arms encircled her. She smiled. This was wonderfully familiar. She turned toward her embracer and returned the hug. She looked up into his face but, as always, couldn't make out who it was. He bent to whisper something in her ear and she smiled, pulling him into a kiss.
Sheppard watched the scene from the fringe. After all these years, Devon was still dreaming of love. Though she wouldn't allow herself to experience it in her conscious life, she continually searched for it in her subconscious one. He smiled. It was this exact, recurring dream that had allowed him to reach her back on the stations, and it would be this dream that would allowed him to reach her here on G889.
When Sheppard first started dreaming to the stations, he didn't grasp the enormity of the power that it afforded him. As he observed the different dreams of many people, he began to understand the symbolism behind them. This understanding allowed him to realize the strengths, weaknesses, fears, and desires of the people who were experiencing the dreams. He soon became cognizant of his ability to manipulate the dreams. This was much easier with people who were vulnerable. He was getting quite good at it too... until Katarina, the Elder, and the Terrians interfered. Their meddling cost him the chance to exact revenge on those people that had banished him to this planet. Her agreement with the Terrians had robbed him of his soul, just like his shadow had said. He was whole now, and nothing would stop him from getting what he wanted.
He thought back to the first time he met Devon. Things were different for him then. Katarina had made her deal with the Terrians and he was a different man. Half a man as he now believed. When he entered Devon's dreams, he had felt differently than he did with the others. It was the first time in his life he didn't feel the hunger or the rage. He shook off the memories of that time. "I was weak then," he convinced himself. "I am now who I should be." Moving closer to the entangled pair, he stood behind the faceless man that embraced Devon. In one swift motion, he stepped into the man. Devon sensed something was different and pulled back, looking up into the face of her lover. Sheppard smiled at her. She frowned, confused at the change. He leaned down and whispered in her ear, "You can trust me Devon. Trust me, and all your dreams will come true." She smiled. To her subconscious mind, this was still her recurring dream of finding love, regardless of the fact that her lover now had a face.
Sheppard could feel the Terrian stir. He knew he only had a short time before it woke up. He had to work fast to complete what he set out to do. "Devon," he said, lifting her face toward him. "Remember the things that you feel here...the warmth, love, and security. Remember how safe you feel. Remember who's face you see here....who you feel those things with. He broke the embrace and moved away. He had to get off of the dream plane before the Terrian woke up. As he drifted away, his voice echoed around her, "Remember....".
He released his grip on the Terrian and quickly left the cavern before it woke. Sheppard stepped out into the night. The air was cold making his breath visible as he smiled. Things would be going his way now. He was taking control of the situation. It was fortunate for him that Devon still had her recurring dream. It made things easier for him. After the vision his shadow showed him, Sheppard knew that the ‘faceless' man in Devon's would become Danziger if he didn't take steps to prevent it. It was obvious that the mechanic was in love with her, even if he didn't realize it. Devon also seemed to be denying her growing feelings for him. "No matter," Sheppard thought as he made his way back to camp, "I will have taken care of that soon enough."
Still feeling the effects of the sedative, Devon yawned as she climbed out of bed. Usually she was well rested after using a sedaderm to help her sleep but this morning she felt like she hadn't slept at all. Uly had already gone to breakfast. She dressed quickly and went through the doors into where the morning meal was being served. Uly and Yale were eating at a table with True and John Danziger. Devon looked around and saw Sheppard eating at a table in the back of the room. He smiled and waved at her. She smiled back and walked over to join him.
"Did you sleep well," he asked, offering a her a hand to help her sit down. "Umm, not really," she sighed as she accepted his hand and sat down. "How about you?"
"Oh, just fine," he answered, continuing to hold her hand, "just fine." "That's good," she smiled.
Sheppard took note of the fact that Devon didn't draw her hand away from him like she did yesterday. Others in the room took note of this also. Danziger and Yale had watched as Devon walked past their table and joined Sheppard. Danziger stared at the pair, not happy at what he was seeing. "What is going on?" he frowned to himself. Yale apparently wasn't too pleased either. The tutor got up and walked over to where Devon and Sheppard were busy talking to each other.
"Good morning, Devon...Sheppard," Yale nodded as he approached the pair. "Morning, Yale," Devon returned.
"Good morning to you," Sheppard answered. "Won't you join us?" Yale nodded then sat down beside Devon. "Devon," he began, "maybe we should start putting together some search teams to look for a pass for the vehicles today."
"I've changed my mind about that," she answered, turning towards Yale. "Sheppard's right. We should concentrate on finding the Grendler's den and wait until we know the weather is going to stay nice before we send people out on longer scouts for the pass."
Yale looked at her. Devon didn't change her mind very easily. The group had discussed the matter very thoroughly yesterday and he thought that the decision that they had finally made was a sound one. He realized that Devon had been a little wary of sending people on long scouts to look for a pass because of the mishap that Danziger had, but he thought she trusted his analysis of the weather trend. Before he could question her about her change of mind, she stood up and addressed the group. "Everyone," she started, "I've been thinking about the decision to go ahead scouting for a pass and I think we should hold off for now. Sheppard is right, we don't have much experience with the weather here and I think we should stick to shorter scouts, looking for the Grendler's den until we're certain the weather will stay warm."
She looked around the room meeting each person's eyes, a tactic she used to use in board meetings. She had found that this helped her emphasize that her decision was final and wasn't up for debate. As she looked around the room, her eyes locked with John Danziger's. She could tell he wasn't happy about her change of heart. She decided to cut him off before he could challenge her decision. Holding his gaze without wavering, she continued, "We don't want what happened to Danziger to happen to anyone else. We shouldn't let cabinfever rush us into making a foolish decision." Her last statement brought a few nods from the group.
"Now, let's team up in two-man parties and start looking for our missing supplies. We'll plan on searching most of the morning, regroup at lunch, then go for a couple more hours in the afternoon if we need to. I want to make sure everyone's back in camp before it gets dark. Morgan, I want you to monitor communications with the teams, and Walman, I'd like you to put together three search teams," she finished. Though she wasn't aware of it, she had left Danziger and Yale out of the plans.Everyone started to get up to attend to their assigned tasks. Walman had gathered most of the group and started pairing the teams. He and Denner would search to the north, Baines and Magus would search to the south, and Cameron and Alonzo would look to the west. They would search to the east in the afternoon if necessary. Devon was in the corner talking to Julia when Danziger approached.
"Devon, could I talk to you a minute?" he asked. "What is it Danziger? I'm a little busy right now," she said, a look of annoyance on her face.
Julia knew that a storm was brewing between the two most stubborn people of Eden Advance and wasn't about to be any anywhere nearby when it hit. "Well, I'll excuse myself," she said quickly, "I've got some work to do."Danziger waited until Julia was out of hearing range before he started. "What the hell is going on, Adair? I thought we decided to go ahead and take advantage of the warmer weather to look for a pass so we could get out of this god-forsaken area."
Devon looked at the mechanic. She didn't know why, but for some reason, she was angry with him. "Maybe I'm just tired of fighting with him over every little thing," she told herself. A voice in the back of her mind told her that wasn't the reason but she didn't have time to think about why John Danziger had ruffled her feathers...she was too tired and there was too much that needed to be done. "Why couldn't he just be supportive like Sheppard," she thought.
"Look Danziger, I have thought about this long and hard and I believe that it is the best thing to do."
"What about what the rest of us think is the *best thing to do*?" he retorted, starting to get angry at her tone of voice and lone decision making. "I thought we made decisions together around here?" "Well, if I thought you were using your head to think things through instead of just jumping into it like you usually do, I might consider your opinion," she said coolly.
Danziger started to fume, but he held himself in check. He had learned that Devon Adair didn't allow herself to get emotional in arguments which is usually why she won them. He took a deep breath and stepped back to regroup. He realized that he wasn't going to change her mind and he wasn't about to stage a mutiny over a simple change of plans. He decided to abandon this fight and move onto the next question he had. "Maybe you're right," he began, slipping back into his previously forgotten employee-employer mode. Agreeing that the boss was right was a method he used to smooth things over and throw them off balance. This allowed him to move on to the next issue without the negative baggage of the last one. Most of his bosses would feel so good about their small victory they would forget to keep their guard up.
"Sheppard sure seemed in a good mood this morning," he said casually, changing the subject.
"Yes, I suppose he was... Is there a point to this?" she asked. "I have a lot of things to do."
Not letting her obvious annoyance deter him, Danziger continued. "I was just wondering if you had a chance to ask him about his past like you decided to do last night."
"I don't remember saying that I was definitely going to grill him about his past like you've wanted me to do since he joined us," she said, visibly angry. "I think that you and everyone else are just going to have to get over your paranoia and accept him as part of this group. He is going with us to New Pacifica and the sooner you accept that, the better off we'll all be." Before he could say anything, she turned and walked away, leaving him standing there, stunned. He watched her walk over to Sheppard who welcomed her with a hug. The older man looked past her towards Danziger. A slow smile appeared on his lips as the two men locked gazes. "Round two is mine," Sheppard laughed to himself as he walked out of the Biodome with Devon, leaving a bewildered Danziger to stare after them."Where are you going, John?" The tutor asked, approaching the mechanic who was busy throwing a pack into the dunerail. "Look Yale, I've had enough of this guy's dancing around questions about his past. Yesterday, Devon's ready to believe that he's not all he seems and today she's done a complete turnaround. Something's up and I'm going to get to the bottom of it. I'm going to talk to the Elder and find out the truth," Danziger answered gruffly while sliding behind the steering wheel of the vehicle. "Not without me you're not," Yale stated as he climbed into the passenger's seat. Danziger studied the teacher for a moment then nodded his head. "Buckle up, then" he said as they sped out of camp, leaving a few bewildered stares behind them.
When they were well away from camp, Yale turned to Danziger, "I didn't want to say anything until we were out of earshot, but I saw something strange last night."
"What are you talking about?" The mechanic looked over at the man in the passenger's seat.
"I woke up last night and Sheppard wasn't in his cot. At first, I thought he had just stepped out for a minute so I started to go back to sleep...then I heard something." Yale hesitated for a minute and Danziger stopped the dunerail to give his full attention to the man beside him. "What did you hear?"
"I heard a noise outside of the tent and so I got up to see what it was. As I walked to the tent flap, I could tell it was a voice...It was Sheppard." "Sheppard? Who was he talking to?" Danziger asked. "I don't know. I could only hear him, and even that wasn't too clear," Yale answered.
"Well, what was he saying?"
"I didn't catch all of it, but he sounded agitated. I could only make out a few words. I thought I heard him say ,*don't push me* and *maybe you're right*, but that was all I could make out. I tried to get closer so I could hear better, but he moved away from the tent. I was going to follow him, but by the time I got out of the tent he was gone." "Where'd he go?" Danziger asked, his brow furrowing. "I don't know, but he was gone for quite some time. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew it was morning and he hadn't returned," Yale said, shaking his head. "When I saw him at breakfast, he seemed fine. I don't think he realized that I knew he had left the tent. When I went over to where he and Devon were sitting, he was very pleasant, almost jovial." "I certainly didn't see or hear anyone last night on my shift. I wonder if Cameron saw him? I'll have to remember to ask him about it when we get back," Danziger resolved. Yale nodded in agreement. "You know," Danziger added, "last night Devon and I talked, and she actually admitted she was having some doubts. I thought that we'd agreed she wouldd ask him for more details about his past. Then, this morning they're acting all chummy and she's forgotten everything she'd said last night. When I tried to ask her about it, she basically told me to mind my own business and just accept that he was now a part of the group." Danziger put the dunerail back into gear and continued driving.
"He gave me some kinda look when Devon went over to him after we argued this morning....I think the bastard even smiled at me," he growled. "You know the thing I really don't get, Yale?" Danziger continued, looking over at the tutor, "Is why Devon was so angry at me this morning. I mean, I know there's been some tension between us since she let that that guy come back with us, but I thought we had resolved all of that last night. She actually came to me to talk about some of the doubts she was having about him and we had a civil conversation about it. I thought our talk ended on a very friendly note. She was even smiling and joking when she went back to bed." "I don't understand it any more than you do," Yale said. "It's very unlike Devon to change her emotions so quickly." "Well, I think the Elder can give us some answers," Danziger remarked. "He seemed to be a little worried when Sheppard came with us and I'm betting that he knows more than he let on."
"Let's hope so," Yale murmured, gripping the sidebar to keep from pitching out of the vehicle as Danziger gunned it.End part 12
Do You Know My Shadow? (13/17)
by Lisa 04
"Has anyone seen Yale?" Devon asked as she approached Baines, Cameron, and Magus, who were all busy packing knapsacks and checking their gear before forming the teams and heading out on their scouts.
"Yeah," Baines answered, looking up from his gear, "he and Danziger took the ‘rail and left camp about a half-hour ago."
"Almost ran me over on their way out too," Cameron added. "Seemed to be in a hurry."
"Where were they going?" she frowned. "Don’t know. Maybe they decided to go scouting," Baines shrugged. "Well, no one said anything to me about it. It’s not like Yale to just take off without at least mentioning it to me. I would expect this from Danziger, but not him," she said, obviously irritated.
Cameron and Baines exchanged glances but keep their mouths shut. They had learned it was best not to get involved in the spats that Devon and Danziger frequently had. It was obvious by the way Devon ignored Danziger this morning that she was upset with him.
"Well, if you hear from either of them, let me know," Devon sighed, "and have them call in."
"Will do," Cameron nodded.
"Make sure you all check in regularly and be careful out there. We’re not sure how the Grendler is going to react to us trying to get our supplies back. We may have to try bargaining with it if we can’t recover our supplies," she added."We’ll be careful," Magus assured her. Walman, Alonzo, and Denner arrived to round out the teams and Devon waved goodbye as the scouts trudged out of camp in their assigned directions.
Julia watched the teams exit the camp then approached Devon. "How did the sedaderm work?" she asked.
Lost in thought about where Danziger and Yale were off to, Devon didn’t hear Julia’s approach or her question.
"Devon."
"Huh? What?" Devon turned, now aware that someone was talking to her. "I didn’t get a chance to ask you earlier. How did the sedaderm work. Did you sleep OK?" Julia asked again.Still a little distracted, Devon answered, "I slept fine, I guess. Why do you ask?"
"I don’t know," Julia shrugged, "you just seem a little tired this morning...maybe a little irritated."
Normally Devon would have been miffed at someone suggesting that she was irritable, but she had been wondering the same thing herself. She had felt on edge every since she woke up this morning and her edginess seemed to be aimed at Danziger. She vaguely remembered talking with him last night, but she didn’t recall all of the conversation. She just assumed that he had said something to make her angry last night until he approached her after breakfast and seemed genuinely surprised when she snapped at him. If he had made her angry last night, he certainly wasn’t aware of it. That puzzled Devon because she and Danziger never hid their feelings when they were angry with each other. They were both very straightforward, headstrong people who let it be known when they weren’t pleased. If they didn’t fight last night then she couldn’t explain why she felt the way she did.
"Maybe I am still a little tired," Devon finally agreed. "I guess that’s why I’ve been a little edgy this morning."
"Hmm," Julia thought aloud, "I don’t understand it. I’m certain I gave you an adequate dose. You should have slept well."
"Well, I don’t remember waking up during the night, but I just felt really groggy this morning...like I hadn’t slept at all," Devon explained.
"Maybe you’re more tired than you originally thought. Maybe you need more than just one good night’s sleep," Julia speculated.
"No, I don’t think that’s all that’s going on," Devon shook her head. She continued in a hushed voice to keep from being overheard, "Julia, I don’t know why, but when I woke up this morning I was really angry with Danziger and maybe even Yale."
"That was kind of apparent when Danziger came up to you after breakfast," Julia smiled weakly.
"At first I thought maybe he had said something to make me angry and I just couldn’t remember exactly what because I was so tired," Devon continued, "but then I realized that he really had no clue as to why I was mad at him."
"You really don’t know why you were mad at him?" Julia prodded. "No, I don’t know why....I just felt like I couldn’t trust him or Yale," Devon said, running her hand through her hair.
"You thought you couldn’t trust Danziger or Yale?" Julia asked incredulously. "I know, I know," Devon shook her head, "it was crazy. Of course I can trust them. Yale has been my closest friend and confidant all my life, and Danziger has always had the best interest of the group in mind. I know I can trust both of them completely. It’s just a feeling that I had when I woke up. I can’t say exactly why, I just felt like maybe I couldn’t trust their opinions....That maybe they weren’t making good decisions."
"Devon, have you had these feelings before?" Julia inquired, wondering in the back of her mind if the stress of shouldering the responsibility for the group’s well-being was finally taking its toll on their leader.
"No, never," she responded hastily. "I have never doubted Yale before, and Danziger has more common sense than any of us. Maybe I’m just feeling a little stressed with all the things that have been happening lately." Devon paused and rubbed her forehead, "I don’t know Julia...sometimes I just wonder if we’re making the right decisions. Everything is just so unknown here. Lately I’ve felt a sense of urgency, like if we make one bad decision, we could ruin everything. We just can’t do that, this is too important." She looked around the camp, her eyes settling on her son as she said those last words.
Julia followed her gaze. "Devon, we’re not always going to make the right decisions. There is no way to tell if the ones we make are always the correct ones. All we can do is take in to account everything we know and try to do the best we can. This planet is certainly unlike anything we’ve ever experienced but I doubt that it is so fragile that a few minor mistakes could completely destroy it. We have learned from our past mistakes with Earth as well as with this planet. With the Terrians’ help, I’m sure we can live here peacefully."
Devon pondered Julia’s words for a moment before answering. "You’re right, of course. I just have to get over these feelings. I mean....we haven’t done too badly so far. Have we?"
"No, I think we’ve done pretty well considering all the things we’ve encountered," Julia agreed. "Yes, we’ve made some bad decisions, but we’ve also helped the Terrians and they seem to have accepted our presence here."
Devon nodded, remembering how the group had helped her to keep a promise she made to the Terrians when they healed her son. If it hadn’t been for the colonists, many of the Terrians would still be enslaved and tortured by that vile man, Gaal. After they were freed, the Terrians realized that these humans were much different than the convicts they had already encountered. An important yet tenuous bond was formed between the colonists and the Terrians that day. A new understanding of each other had emerged from their common goal to stop the reign of terror that Gaal had brought to this planet and its inhabitants.
"Devon, is everything alright?" Devon turned to see that Sheppard had walked up to them.
"Yes, everything is fine. Why do you ask?" Sheppard looked first at her then at Julia. "Well, it just looked as if you were a little upset."
"No, everything is fine now," she answered, smiling at Julia. Julia returned her smile and then excused herself. Something about Sheppard made her uneasy, even if Devon did seemed more comfortable around him.
Sheppard waited for Julia to leave before continuing. "Are you sure you’re alright?" he said looking at her closely.
"Yes. I think I was just a little tired this morning. I’m better now," Devon assured him.
Sheppard started to say something, but was interrupted when Ulysses came running up to his mother. "Mom, Mom...have you seen Alonzo around?" the young boy said slightly breathless from his sprint.
"He’s already left on his scout, Uly. Why? What did you need?" "Oh, nothing," the boy answered quickly, glancing over at Sheppard. "I just wanted to ask him a question."
"Is it something I can help you with?" his mother offered. "No, that’s OK. I’ll wait until he gets back," Uly said, turning to leave. "Uly," Devon said, as the boy started to trot away. "Yale won’t be giving you and True a lesson this morning so I want you two to help Bess, OK?"
"OK, but where’s Yale?" he answered, pausing to look at his mother. Though she wasn’t certain where he and Danziger had gone, she decided to give them the benefit of the doubt. "He went scouting with Mr. Danziger."
"Oh, OK," the boy shrugged before racing off to find True and tell her of their good fortune.
"I wasn’t aware that Mr. Danziger and Yale were one of the scout parties," Sheppard said quietly.
"I guess they decided to join in on the scout at the last minute," Devon shrugged, still bothered that they didn’t tell her they were leaving but resigned to the fact that this wasn’t unusual behavior from Danziger. "I think I’ll go over and see if Morgan has heard anything from the scout teams before I start pouring over those maps again," she said. "Would you like to join me?"
Sheppard was busy trying to determine just what Danziger and Yale were up to. He had learned a long time ago, that one must anticipate the moves of one’s enemies and counteract them quickly to stay ahead in the game. "No, you go ahead. I’ll join you a bit later," he said. Devon nodded and proceeded to the biodome where Morgan Martin was monitoring the communications from the scouting Eden Advancers.
"I wonder where those two went?" Sheppard frowned after Devon had left. "I’ll have to make sure I find out what they’re doing...I’m not going to let anyone or anything interfere with my plans."
The dunerail rolled to a stop among the rocks. "It’s got to be around here somewhere," Danziger said as he got out of the vehicle to stretch his legs.
"Are you sure we’re near the entrance?" Yale asked, stepping up beside him. Danziger looked around at the area, his eyes settling on a telltale sign that they were in the right place. "Yeah, I’m sure...." he said quietly as he eyed the newly placed grave. Walking over to the mound of dirt, he read the carving on the stone that sat at one end. *Katarina, beloved and brave, may her soul find peace again*
"That was his sister," Yale said, stating more than asking. "Un huh," Danziger answered, seeming mesmerized by the words on the headstone. He had never killed anyone before, even when he served his time in the military as a young man. Although under the same circumstances he would do it again, he decided he didn’t like it much.
"I was wondering when you would be back." Danziger and Yale both whirled around, startled by the voice behind them. "I see you’ve brought a friend," the Elder nodded towards Yale. "Uh, yeah...This is Yale. Yale...the Elder." Danziger nodded towards each man, having regained his wits enough to render the necessary introductions.
"Nice to meet you," Yale greeted. "And you," the other gentleman returned. "Well, I don’t suppose you’ve come here for a social visit. Why don’t we go somewhere a little less distracting?" he said, looking at the grave.
They followed the man down into the caves where his group lived together, protected from the dangers of the surface. Descending the same steps where Katarina had met her fate by his hand, Danziger shuddered. He tried not to think of what happened or worse yet, what could have happened. The Elder led them past the curious glances of the others into what must have been his living quarters. The moderate sized room had a few simple pieces of furniture such as a crudely made chair with a small table beside it. On the table sat a candle which the older man lit. He motioned for them to sit, indicating that Yale take the chair and Danziger situate himself on a large rock that sat nearby. "Now, why have you come back?" the Elder asked, looking at Danziger. He looked tired Danziger thought, and older than he remembered.
"I think you know why I’m back," Danziger said. "You said something to me when I left here that indicated you weren’t any happier about Sheppard coming with us than I was."
"I don’t recall saying anything..." the Elder began, hoping that maybe the men were here for a reason other than the one he feared.
"You told me to be careful, like you knew something that you weren’t telling us," Danziger cut him off, not in the mood to play ‘guess what I’m thinking’.
"Really Mr. Danziger, I’m not certain what are you talking about?" "Look, there’s something not right about Sheppard and I think you know what it is," the mechanic said. "My gut tells me that something is going on, and I usually trust what my gut tells me."
"Sheppard is a good man, Mr. Danziger. He has more than paid for his crimes," the Elder stated. "He was given a second chance and he became and honorable man."
"Well, I wouldn’t know because he doesn’t seem to want to tell us much about what he did to get dumped on this planet in the first place," Danziger said.
"Why do you need to know?" the Elder asked. "You don’t seem to care what I or the others did to get sent here."
"My gut doesn’t tell me that you’re dangerous," Danziger answered, simply, "...and you’re not living with us."
"Sir," Yale chose this moment to enter the conversation, " I think that what John is trying to say is that since our unfortunate encounter with a penal colonist named Gaal, we are a little uncomfortable with having someone that we know nothing about live amongst us. Sheppard has been fairly unyielding when it comes to talking about his past. It makes us very uneasy."
"I understand your reluctance to accept that his past might not matter anymore, but you have to recognize the good things that he has done since coming here," the Elder explained. He didn’t want to condemn Sheppard by revealing his past and the events that happened when they first arrived here if there was no real reason to be concerned. So far, they had said nothing to indicate that things had changed with Sheppard. "If it hadn’t been for him, Devon would have never know about the healing powers of this planet and her son might not have made it."
"Look...you have to understand. I’m concerned about the safety of our group. We have no idea what kind of person Sheppard is or was. I think we should be allowed judge for ourselves just how much he has changed, especially since he’s coming with us to New Pacifica. We can’t do that if we don’t know what happened to make the Council send him here," Danziger pleaded.
"And what does Devon think?" the Elder asked quietly. "Devon doesn’t know what she thinks. One minute she wants to know his past as much as the rest of us and the next she’s saying it doesn’t matter and we should mind our own business. I really don’t know what is going on in her head," Danziger said, exasperated.
This last statement alerted the Elder that what he feared the most might be happening. He could see the look of desperation on Danziger’s face and knew that it wasn’t jealousy that had brought him here. The man was truly frightened. "What do you mean ‘Devon doesn’t know what she thinks’?" the Elder asked, concern hanging in his voice. If Sheppard was returning to his old self, the Eden group could be in grave danger...especially those that got in his way.
"Something is wrong," Danziger answered. "She’s been moody and indecisive. She’ll seem fine one minute and be completely different the next. I mean, we were on good terms when we talked last night and then this morning she was angry at me and I don’t know why. She was mad at Yale too and she had absolutely no reason to be angry with him." Yale nodded his agreement with Danziger’s assessment of Devon’s behavior. "And don’t even get me started on how Sheppard’s been," he continued. "That guy has been more evasive than a snake in a mongoose nest. I don’t think he could give a straight answer on what he had for breakfast, much less on what he did back on the stations."
"It didn’t happen on the stations," the Elder sighed, heavily. "It happened on Earth."
Danziger took in a breath. "Then you do know what he did." "Yes," the Elder admitted. He realized that this group had a right to know everything. He wanted to believe that Sheppard was still the man that he had become on this planet, but he knew that regardless, the Eden Advance group had a right to know what had happened...especially if things were falling apart and they were in danger.
"Please, sir, we’re very concerned about Devon. We need to know if she’s safe. She doesn’t seem to have much of an objective view when it comes to him," Yale appealed.
"You don’t need to worry about Devon. He would never hurt her. He loves her," the Elder contended, noticing that Danziger stiffened slightly at the mention of Sheppard’s feelings for Devon. He realized that the man still didn’t understand his own feelings for her. ‘No, it’s not Devon that you should worry about if things have gone bad,’ he thought to himself. He briefly wondered what would have happened between the three of them if the course of their lives were allowed to continue, uninterrupted by the past. ‘I wonder if Sheppard would have been able to compete, in a fair battle, with the suppressed feelings those two have. Would he have been able to win Devon’s heart back when even she didn’t realize it was taken?’ He knew, however, that if Sheppard had become weak again, the battle for Devon would be anything but fair.
Yale and Danziger both looked at the Elder, waiting for him to continue. He sighed, wondering where exactly to begin. The tale of Sheppard’s past was a very complicated one and the Elder still couldn’t be certain that the man had chosen to travel the wrong path again.
End Part 13
Do You Know My Shadow? (14/17)
by Lisa 04
"Yo, Cameron. Hold up a minute," Alonzo called. Cameron slowed and turned to see what the other man had found.
"These look like tracks to you?" Alonzo asked the other man. "They look like it, but I'm not sure I could say what kind of tracks they are," Cameron shrugged while he kneeled down to get a better look. The footprints that appeared in the mud looked deep but their finer definition had been obscured by the sand deposited from the stream. "Do you see anymore?" the pilot asked, studying the ground around them. "Nope," Cameron answered.
"Me neither," Alonzo agreed. "Maybe we should cross this creek and see if we can pick them up on the other side."
"Sounds like a plan," Cameron nodded as he started to slosh his way through the water."I don't know everything about his past. Just what I learned from Katarina before," the Elder qualified. "I can tell you how he was when we first came here and how he was after the transfer, though..." "Transfer? What transfer?" Danziger asked confused. "What are you talking about?"
"Maybe you should just start from the beginning and tell us everything that you do know about him," Yale said, to assure the other man that any information would be helpful. He placed his hand on Danziger's shoulder to indicate that they shouldn't interrupt. "Before Sheppard came to this planet," the Elder started slowly, as if each word had to be physically drawn from his mouth, "he was a very different person." He paused, lost in thought. "When he was young, Sheppard was not the strong, self-confident person that we see now. According to what Katarina had told us, he was introspective and ‘different' which brought much ridicule from others. He was an intelligent boy who never quite found a way to fit in. Katarina on the other hand, was a beautiful, outgoing person to whom people were naturally drawn. Then things changed. Sheppard joined an Earth faction of fanatics that practiced black magic, and found a group of people that readily accepted him. He had found his ‘niche' so to speak. He was a very talented follower and became the High Priest's star pupil. He was enthusiastic and it didn't take long before he had turned himself over completely to the darkness of their religion. He had found a new side of himself, one that was bold and powerful...a side that people didn't ridicule but were in awe of. As Sheppard's power grew, his heart became darker. He was content with his new found status for awhile but soon realized that their practices could be used as a means to a greater end. He wanted more...he wanted absolute power." The Elder stopped, and looked over at the two men that sat across from him."So he lied to us when he said that it was his sister that was evil and practiced black magic," Danziger muttered. "I wonder what else he's lied about?"
"No, he didn't exactly lie," the Elder declared. "She did follow him into the cult....She loved her brother very much, Mr. Danziger, and was worried about him. Katarina and Sheppard shared a very strong bond and she felt responsible for him. She was dragged down into the darkness of the cult just as he was. She didn't want to be there, but had no choice."
"But Sheppard did want to be there," Danziger contended. "Yes," the Elder relented, "he chose to be there." "He said that he followed her into the cult to protect her...that she was the one that wanted to be there. Now maybe that's not a lie in your book, but it is in mine," the mechanic retorted.
"Yes, what he told you was not the exact truth, but he didn't mean to mislead you. He told you what he remembered as the truth." "What do you mean by that?" Danziger asked. "Maybe I should finish explaining about his past on Earth and then I can better explain what I meant," the Elder sighed. Danziger shrugged as if saying ‘hey, it's your story, tell it like you want to...just get on with it."
"Sheppard remained the dutiful student for awhile until he figured out that the High Priest was content with the way things were. He had no desire to use the magic for things other than the rituals required to worship their god. Sheppard felt that the Priest did not have the vision or drive to recruit others to expand their following and thus their power. He believed that they...and more importantly, he...was destined to rule the Earth, and someday, the Stations. Soon, in a final act of rebellion, he murdered the High Priest and took his position as leader of the cult. His influence had grown considerably and it wasn't long before the weak-minded followers began to worship him. Sheppard used the ‘religion' as a means to convince his followers to engage in acts of terrorism. His primary goal was to control Earth and then control the stations. At first, the Council took little notice, it was just a small religious cult on Earth that had no bearing on the Stations. Then, as their numbers grew and the reports of violence and terrorism started filtering up to the Council they became more concerned. Though they weren't as worried because it was all happening on Earth, they started to keep a closer watch on Sheppard and his group. It wasn't until they learned about his plans to infiltrate the stations and try to overthrow the Council that they became truly concerned. Before they could enact a plan to arrest him, he and a small group of followers had gained passage onto the Gateway station and had begun actively recruiting followers to help take control of that station. It had been rumored that there was a small underground group of people who were dissatisfied with the way the Council handled matters on that station and Sheppard's group had joined with them. A coup ensued and several Council members were captured. The Council panicked and many innocent civilians were killed in the crossfire when they brought in a large armed force to regain control of the station. In retaliation for the killing of most of his followers during the fighting, Sheppard executed the captured Council members before he was arrested. The Council sentenced Sheppard and the remaining cult members secretly in order to avoid a public trial. They didn't want to publicly acknowledge that there was unrest among any of the stations and they wanted to avoid criticism at the way they handled the situation, so they made sure the deaths were reported as an act of terrorism by a group from Earth. They said that a power reactor was blown up, killing several hundreds. They also removed the few remaining citizens to remote stations and closed the Gateway station, citing irreparable damage making it unsafe for habitation. This was done so that no one would learn the truth about what really happened. Most of the remaining cult members on Earth were rounded up and arrested for conspiracy, but a few went into hiding.," the Elder paused to catch his breath and collect his thoughts.
"But I have seen his face somewhere before," Yale exclaimed. "I know I have."
"You probably saw the story that the Council released, claiming Sheppard and his followers blew up the reactor and ‘died' in the explosion. By blaming all of the deaths on Sheppard, they incited the anger of the stations' citizens and essentially suppressed any chance that the members still in hiding could recruit more followers."
"Though the Council's overreaction might have led to the unnecessary deaths of some of those people, Sheppard WAS ultimately responsible for their deaths," Yale stated. "From what you've told us, he wanted to overthrow the Council and would have used any means necessary to do it...even if that meant innocent people dying in the process."
"Yes, it's true that Sheppard's actions are what started the events that led to the deaths of those people," the Elder conceded.
"How can you tell us this guy has paid for his crimes!? He murdered those civilians and those Council members," Danziger growled. "He's dangerous. We've got to warn Devon. She has to know what he's done," he said, starting to get up.
"Wait," the Elder pleaded. "Please, there's more. If you'll let me finish explaining, you'll understand how why he's not the same man."
"I don't want to wait. God knows what he could be doing right now," Danziger snapped.
"I have to agree with John. We can't afford to stay here any longer. We must warn the others," Yale asserted.
"They are not in any danger," the Elder explained. "At least not as long as Sheppard is still the man that he became here on this planet."
"What are you talking about!? He's dangerous. You, yourself told us what a psychopath he was back on Earth."
"But he's not that way now. He has changed. Everything about him has changed. He is a completely different man than the one I told you about. He IS the warm, caring person that Devon came to know in her dreams, not the other one that I described. "
"I don't get it. One minute you're telling us he's a killer and the next you're defending him and telling us that he is some sort of saint. What is going on?!!?! I want the truth, damn it, and I want it now!" Danziger demanded.
"Yes, yes. I'll tell you everything. Just calm down. I understand your frustration. I know how much you care about Devon."
Despite his anger, Danziger blushed slightly. He still contended that the Elder didn't know what he was talking about when he made inferences to how he felt about Devon, but for some reason he was uncomfortable that Yale had heard it. He started to object when Yale cut him off. "We both care about Devon a great deal and would certainly like to hear everything you have to say." Yale had chosen to ignore the hidden meaning of the Elder's words, or at least that is how it appeared. Danziger was grateful that the tutor chose not to explore further what the Elder meant.
"After the Council had broadcast their ‘account' of the events, they decided that Sheppard and his small group could still serve a purpose for them. At that time they had just started transferring prisoners here to see if they could survive. There apparently had been several scientific missions that had come here, but for some reason the Council had lost touch with them. They decided not to risk anymore of their scientists and began to send prisoners here instead. They sent Sheppard, his sister, and two others to this planet, along with several other ‘political' prisoners...myself included."
"And...," Danziger prodded, getting more impatient and nervous as he thought about what could be happening back at camp.
"When we first landed, things were so chaotic," the Elder continued. "Several of the prisoners died in cold sleep due to malfunctions in the sleep capsules. Others didn't die, but continued to age while they slept. This is what happened to Katarina." He stopped, then continued his tale in a different direction. "It was a struggle to just survive. We didn't have a choice but to rely on each other. Sheppard pretty much kept to himself during the first few weeks. It was his followers that had died...all but Katarina. He didn't make much of an effort to help us. If it hadn't been for Katarina, we would have left him to fend for himself. She pleaded with us to help him, and out of compassion for her, we did. Then, we had our first encounters with the Terrians. They made their presence known first in our dreams, much like they did with your group. Everyone was unsettled by this...everyone but Sheppard. He seemed to grasp the enormity of that gift much sooner than the rest of us. In fact, he learned to use the sleeping Terrians to dream to the Stations long before we became aware of the possibility. You see, when the Terrians are ‘sleeping' their channels to the dreamplane are pretty much open to use by anyone who wants. They had never had to worry about anyone abusing the dreamplane before humans came to this planet and they had no defenses to stop it. No one knew what he was doing at first. Soon, though, the Terrians realized that he was using the connection not to ‘visit' loved ones back on the stations like the rest of us, but to invade the dreams of his enemies. He was using the dreamplane to try and exact revenge on the Council members that had sent him here. As you know, the Terrians are fairly emotionless creatures and the negative feelings that he was generating with his invasions into the dreamplane was very damaging to them. They became quite upset with him and were actually going cast him out of the caves because they could feel the evil force inside of him permeating into their dreams. Katarina became distraught with the thought that he would be sent helpless into the wilderness. She knew that he would not survive long on the surface of the planet. Even though her brother had changed to the point that she no longer recognized him, she knew that somewhere still inside him was the once thoughtful, shy brother that she loved. She pleaded with the Terrians not to send him to the surface. She told them that deep down he was a good man but he wasn't strong enough to fight the evil inside him the cult had instilled. At first the Terrians said that this didn't matter because even if he could cast out the evil, it would find another to control. They feared that his evil would invade their tribe and return them to the darkness that they had fought so hard to rid themselves of. Katarina wouldn't give up though and continued to beg the Terrians for another way. After awhile they relented that there was a way to save him, but it would take the strongest of wills to do it. They said that they could take the evil that controlled him and place it in another...but only if that person were strong enough to contain it. Katarina, God rest her soul, agreed to let them place the darkness in her because she knew she was stronger than he was. She felt that this was all she had left to give her brother. The Terrians agreed and during Mooncross, the exchange took place. Sheppard was never aware of what happened. When he awoke from the process, he had no recollection of the events that had preceded their banishment. To fill the gaps in his memory, Katarina told him the tale of what took place on Earth and the Stations but inserted herself into his role. She led him to believe that she was responsible for leading them into the cult. She swore me to secrecy because she didn't want Sheppard to ever learn the truth."
Danziger and Yale sat there, stunned at the story the Elder had just told. Neither knew what to say. Finally, Yale spoke up. "Did it work?" he asked softly.
"Yes," the Elder answered. "Sheppard became a completely different man. He was thoughtful and patient. He had a quiet strength that remained with him. He took the responsibility of caring for Katarina and became a trusted leader for our group."
"And what happened with Katarina?" Yale inquired.
The Elder shook his head. "She was stronger than he was, but in time, the darkness inside drove her mad. She became jealous and possessive of Sheppard. He continued to take care of her but was unable to show affection to any other woman because of her jealousy."
"So you expect us to believe that he's no longer a lunatic and that he's suddenly G889's most upstanding citizen all because of some ceremony the Terrians performed over 30 years ago?!?! Danziger said incredulously.
"John, I know it is hard to believe but he did become a good man. He has saved our lives on numerous occasions. If it weren't for his leadership, we might have perished long ago."
"How do we know he hasn't played his mind games with you and that's why you're telling us that he's changed?"
The Elder looked Danziger in the eyes and said, "You know that is not true."
Danziger returned his gaze, staring at the other man for a moment, then sighed, nodding his agreement.
"What did the other's think of this ‘arrangement' that Katarina made with the Terrians?" Yale asked.
"No one else knew. Only Katarina and I knew the truth. The other's weren't aware of his past or what he had been doing with the dreamplane. They just assumed that Katarina went mad because she aged when the sleep capsule malfunctioned."
"Just exactly at what point in his time on this planet did he start dreaming to Devon? Before or after this ‘transformation' took place?" Danziger asked suddenly.
The Elder hesitated for a moment before answering. "I'm not sure. He may have started dreaming to her before the Terrians stopped him, but I can't say for certain. All I know is that when he dreamed to her after he changed, he was sincere in his wish to help her son. He truly cared about her."
"So he could have entered her dreams when he was still crazy. Is that what you're telling us?"
"Maybe at first, but I promise you, he was not that way after the exchange took place. If it hadn't been for him, Devon's son would have never had a chance to live."
"Did you know that the Terrians could heal him?"
"No, I wasn't aware that they could do that."
"Then how did Sheppard know they could?"
Silence followed Danziger's last question. It hung in the air like a shroud of fog that doesn't burn off with the morning sun. "I don't know," the Elder finally admitted, "but somehow he had to know that by coming here, Devon's son would be healed. That is what she wanted more than anything and that is what he gave her."
"I'm not convinced of that. I'm not so sure that his leading her here was solely out of concern for Uly."
"Danziger, all I can tell you is that I believe his motives were pure. I have lived with this man for many years and have witnessed the goodness that is in him."
"Then why did you tell me to be careful if he's not dangerous anymore. Why were you so worried when you heard that Devon has been acting odd lately?"
"First, I don't know if there is anything to be concerned about. I'm sure everything is alright. Sheppard is stronger now. He can resist the temptation better than before."
"What are you talking about? What temptation?"
"Yes, what are you talking about?" Yale echoed.
"When the exchange took place, all the darkness that resided in Sheppard was transferred to Katarina. She was strong enough to contain it within her, but now that she has died.....I just don't know. It could have died with her or it could be free and searching for a new home. If it is, then it stands to reason that it would return to the person it came from. If that is the case, then Sheppard will have to resist falling under it's influence again. I believe that he is strong enough to do this, but I can't be for certain."
"You mean there's a chance that he could become that psychopath again??!!" Danziger howled.
"Maybe, but I don't think it will happen," the Elder said quickly as Danziger and Yale both jumped to their feet. "I know Sheppard and he is a good man. He can resist that dark side of himself if it returns."
"Well, even you can't be sure of that and I'm not sticking around here when things could be going to hell in a handbasket back at the camp. Come on Yale, we've got to get back and make sure everything is alright," Danziger retorted hastily as he grabbed his jacket. Yale was close behind.
"Please, don't make any rash decisions," the Elder pleaded after them. "You don't know that anything is wrong...At least I pray nothing is wrong."
The Elder watched the two Eden Advance members disappear as they rushed down the tunnel and back to the surface. "Please, let everything be alright...for all their sakes," he pleaded silently to a God that he had long forgotten.
End Part 14
Do You Know My Shadow? (15/17)
by Lisa 04
"Any word yet?" Devon asked Morgan.
The former Council liaison turned around to face the woman who had been constantly in and out of the communications area asking the same question since early this morning. "If you're asking about the scout teams," he began for the umpteenth time, " the answer is ‘yes'. They've all checked in and are heading back for lunch. Alonzo and Walman found a few tracks but lost them when they crossed a stream. Otherwise, there's nothing new to report." This last statement was meant to convey the message to Devon that Danziger and Yale had still not checked in. Devon sighed then nodded. She was going to read those two the riot act for taking off without letting anyone know where they were going and then not checking in on top of that. As mad as she was, however, she felt badly about snapping at them this morning and wanted to apologize...after she chewed them out for the disappearing act, of course.
"Dammit!" Danziger growled as he crawled out from under the vehicle.
"What's wrong with it?" Yale asked, looking down at the mechanic.
"The connection from the solar panel to the main battery cells came loose. The batteries are dead."
"Can't we run off of main power from the panel and bypass them?"
"We could if it weren't so cloudy," Danziger said. "With it being so overcast, the panels can capture enough energy to charge the batteries but not enough to run the vehicle by themselves. We'll have to wait until the batteries have stored enough energy, before we can get moving again."
"How long will it take?" the tutor asked.
"At least a couple of hours...sooner if the sun comes out again," sighed Danziger, hitting his hand against the side of the vehicle in frustration.
"Maybe we should call back to camp and let Devon know what we found out?"
"I don't think that's a good idea. I don't want to alert Sheppard that we know about him just yet. We don't know what he might do. Besides, we don't know exactly what kind of hold he has on Devon. I want to have a ‘private' conversation with him before he catches on that we know what's going on," Danziger said.
"Well, we don't really know what's going on, do we?" Yale stated.
"What do you mean?"
"What if the evil wasn't released from Katarina? Or if it was, what if Sheppard was strong enough to fight it and is still the changed person that he became after the exchange? We can't accuse him of anything until we know for certain that he's become his ‘old self.' "
"Yale, I *know* he's up to his old tricks. I can feel it and I'm gonna prove it. If I can get him alone, I know I can get him to show himself," Danziger asserted.
"John, if he has returned to his old ways, then we both know what he is capable of. I don't think it is wise for you to be alone with him."
"Don't worry about me," Danziger assured him, "I can take care of myself. I'll be keeping a very close eye on him.... I won't be going in unprotected either." The mechanic patted the sidearm that was holstered on his hip as he made the last statement.
Yale scrutinized Danziger closely and from the determination that he saw in the other man's eyes, he knew he wasn't going to change his mind.
Sheppard stood to the side of the tent and observed as the scout teams returned for lunch. He watched Devon and Julia meet them and inquire about their progress in finding the missing supplies. He had gone off to be alone to determine his next move. He wasn't sure what Danziger and Yale were up to, but he had a very uneasy feeling about it. He had decided that he couldn't afford to continue at a slow pace with Devon's ‘conversion' and would speed up the process tonight, in her dreams. He needed to think more about how to do this, as well as what to do about Danziger. "That man has entirely too much influence over Devon," he thought. He knew that he would never be able to win her over while the mechanic was around. He needed to do something to remedy the situation.
After the initial reports and greetings were conducted , the Eden Advance team ate their lunch in an uncharacteristically silent atmosphere. Usually there was conversation and noise as they gathered to eat their meal. Today, everyone seemed to be reflecting on their own thoughts. Sheppard waited until Devon finished talking with Alonzo then joined her at the table.
"How is the search for the Grendler's den going?"
"Alonzo and Cameron found tracks, but lost them when they crossed a stream," Devon answered.
"Well, maybe you could use an extra pair of eyes out there looking for it," Sheppard suggested. A plan was slowly forming in the back of his mind and he wanted to get away from camp to think. He knew that aiding in the search would allow for him to break away for a few hours without arousing suspicion.
Thinking about it for a minute, Devon replied, "I suppose you could pair up with Baines. I could use Laura's help again with mapping the locations already scouted."
Disappointed because he was hoping to be allowed to *search* on his own, Sheppard nodded. "That sound's fine, " he half-smiled. He figured he could come up with some reason why he and Baines should spit up after they were away from camp.
"Where's Devon?" Danziger asked as he climbed out of the vehicle. "In the Biodome, and man is she pissed that you two took off without letting anyone know where you were going," Magus said. "What about Sheppard, where's he?" Danziger continued, ignoring her warning about Devon's disposition.
"He's out with Baines helping look for the missing supplies. Why?" "What was their location when they checked in last?" Yale asked, coming around the from the other side of the dunerail. "Southwest from here, about 2 ½ miles I'd guess. What's going on?" Magus asked again, not liking the vibes she was getting from the two men standing in front of her.
"Yale, you go talk to Devon. I'm going to find Sheppard...Have someone call me with their exact coordinates," he said, taking the gear Magus had hanging around her neck.
"All right....and John, be careful," the tutor cautioned as the Danziger climbed back into the dunerail and headed in the direction where Sheppard and Baines last reported.
Before Magus could turn to Yale to ask him what was going on, he had taken off in the opposite direction, heading for the biodome. She thought about following him, but then guessed it would be better to wait and see what happens."Devon, I need to talk to you," the tutor said, walking quickly over to her. "Yale, where have you and Danziger been?" she demanded after hearing him come in.
"I'll tell you, but first, I need to talk to you about something," "What's wrong?" she asked, sensing the urgency in his voice. Yale didn't answer, instead he walked swiftly over to where Morgan sat at the communications console and leaned over to speak to him before Devon could say anything more. He didn't want Devon to know where Danziger was going just yet. "Morgan, I need you to contact Danziger on a private channel and give him Baines' and Sheppard's location," Yale said, quietly yet quickly. "Well, I would if I could," the former Council liaison remarked sarcastically, "but, as usual, he doesn't have his gear on. I've been trying to reach you two all day."
"He has it on now, just do it, OK?" Yale said sharply, losing his patience. Before Devon could walk over and hear Morgan trying to reach Danziger, Yale ushered her into the back room.
"Fine, fine," Morgan uttered to no one as Yale and Devon disappeared into the other room "Morgan Martin the com-link operator at your service.""Yale, what is going on?" Devon demanded as the cyborg closed the door behind them. "Where have you and Danziger been?" "We went to see the Elder," he answered. "You what? Why did you do that and why didn't you tell me where you were going?"
"Listen Devon, we've found out some things about Sheppard that I think you should know," Yale continued, not addressing the questions that she had asked. "I can't believe you went behind my back and asked the Elder about Sheppard. I would expect that from Danziger, but not you...You had no right," she said, angered that her oldest friend would question her judgment too. "Devon, I know that you do not think it is important to know about Sheppard's past, but after I tell you what we've found out, I think you will change your mind."
"What are you talking about?"
"The story that he told us about his sister being the one that involved him in black magic and killing innocent people isn't true....It was him." "What do you mean, it was him?" Devon asked, confused. "I think you had better sit down," Yale sighed before continuing with the incredible story told to he and Danziger by the Elder."Are you sure those coordinates are the most recent?" Danziger asked Morgan over the secured gear channel. He listened as the other man made a remark about knowing how to read numbers before interrupting, "OK Martin, fine, I believe you. Now, I need you to call Baines and make some excuse to get him back to camp. Tell him he's needed to do something and you're sending someone else to join up with Sheppard, just don't tell him it's me. Can you do that?" Again he listened to the other man's response on his gear before answering, "I don't have time to tell you about it right now, just do this, OK? I'll fill everyone in on what's going on when I get back...And Martin, it's very important that you don't tip Sheppard off that I'm the one coming out to join him."
Danziger checked the coordinates that Morgan had sent him one last time then took off his gear as he adjusted the course of the vehicle. He knew that Devon would try to call him as soon as Yale told her what was going on and he didn't want any interruptions while he was ‘talking' to Sheppard."Yale, I can't believe that. It's too incredible." Devon said, shaking her head after hearing the story he told. "The Elder must have gotten it wrong....Katarina was the one. She tried to kill Sheppard and me. Why would she do that if she wasn't the one that got him involved in the cult in the first place?
"Devon, she was crazy, driven mad by the evil that she had taken from Sheppard," Yale explained.
"I just can't believe that he was capable of those things. I know him, Yale. He is a gentle, kind man. He cares about me and he cares about Uly. If it hadn't been for him, I would have never known about this place," Devon said, not wanting to believe that the man who had saved her son's life was capable of such horrible things. "The Elder had to be wrong. He must have been confused about what happened."
"Devon, I don't think the Elder was lying, or confused. Look, Sheppard may well be the man that you think he is. According to the Elder, Sheppard changed after the Terrians allowed the evil to be placed in Katarina. It's just that..."
"What? It's just that what?" Devon asked, still shaken at the thought that the man she had trusted with her son's life, could have been a cold blooded killer and was now only good because his sister sacrificed herself.
"It's just that we don't know if he's going to stay that way."
"What are you talking about?"
"The Elder said that the Terrians were worried that the evil might need another home now that it no longer lived in Katarina...They are worried that that evil will return to where it came from." Yale looked at Devon and saw her confused expression. "They are worried that it will go back to Sheppard, he explained.
"You mean they think that Sheppard will become a monster." she said, still not entirely believing the story about Sheppard's past and his ‘conversion'.
"They do not know for certain," the Tutor explained, "but it could. Devon, you know him better than any of us...has anything happened? Anything that would make you think that he isn't like you remembered?" Devon stood there. She didn't want to believe the things that Yale said about Sheppard, but why would the Elder lie about it? She had to admit there was something different about him...she just couldn't put her finger on what it was. She didn't speak for what seemed like an eternity to Yale. He couldn't quite read her expression but he could tell that she was thinking about something. She turned and started to walk to the other side of the room, her arms wrapped around her. She didn't face him when she started to speak. "I don't know, but maybe something is different." Turning to look at him, he saw the turmoil in her eyes.
"What do you think is different?"
"I'm not sure. At first I thought it was just because it had been so long since we'd had contact. I mean, I didn't even remember him at first. Then, I thought that maybe it's because we'd both changed in all those years, but...." Devon shook her head. Yale didn't say anything, he just waited for her to continue. "I don't know Yale, one minute he seems like the man I remember from my dreams, and the next minute he'll say or do something that is so different than what I'd expect. I don't know how I could really tell if he's different though, I've been so confused lately...."
"You have been a little on edge lately," Yale agreed. "Why is that?"
"I don't know. I haven't been sleeping too well. I guess I'm just tired."
"Yes, well Danziger thinks that there's more to it than that, and I am inclined to agree with him. I've seen you tired before Devon, and you don't usually let it affect you that much. You practically bit Danziger's head off this morning."
"I know, I know. I snapped at you this morning too and I'm sorry." As if hearing his name made her realize that she hadn't seen him, she suddenly asked, "Where is Danziger anyway?"
Yale wasn't certain that he should tell Devon the truth, but he'd never lied to her and wasn't going to start now. "He went to find Sheppard."
"What?!" Devon exclaimed. "Yale, we don't even know if this whole story the Elder told is true and you let Danziger go off half-cocked to confront Sheppard?"
"First of all Devon, I did not *let* Danziger do anything. When he sets his mind to something, anyone...even you... would be hard-pressed to stop him," Yale said. "And secondly, he is just concerned about you and the group. He may be impulsive, but he's not going to do anything rash. You have to admit, if the Elder's story is true, we all have reason to be concerned."
Devon sighed, her shoulders slumping. She didn't want to believe the story about Sheppard's past or even worse the possibility that he could become the monster that Yale described, but if it were true..............
End Part 15
Do You Know My Shadow? (16/17)
by Lisa 04
"What's that, Morgan? Come again?" Baines asked into his gear. Morgan had contacted him with a message but static interrupted them before he could hear everything the other man was saying. "I've got to get this piece of junk cleaned," he mumbled, tapping on the headset. "I said, we need you to come back to camp to look at this stupid perimeter system. The alarm is going off and no one can get it to stop," Morgan repeated, trying to make his story sound believable. "Can't someone else look at it," Baines said. "We're right in the middle of tracking that damn Grendler and I think we're on to something." "No. no one else can fix it. I'm sending someone out to take your place. Just tell Sheppard to wait..." The last part of the message was cut off by static. "Great," Baines grumbled. "Just great. Now this piece of junk isn't working either." He grabbed his bag and threw the gear into it. "I don't know why in the world no one can seem to fix that stupid alarm but me." He made the last comment knowing full well that nobody else could repair the alarm because he had jerry-rigged it so much during his repairs no one else could make heads or tails of the wiring. Even Danziger had given up trying to understand why the contraption continued to work.
"What is it?" Sheppard asked. He had stood quietly to the side while Baines had answered the call from Morgan. His subtle attempts to try and break away so that he could be alone to think were thwarted when they stumbled upon more grendler tracks. Now that they had a trail to follow, he couldn't find a good excuse to split up an search separately. Baines looked over to his search ‘partner'. To be honest, he didn't mind getting called back to camp. Sheppard didn't really say much and had resisted his attempts to strike up a conversation. The older man made him uncomfortable. He didn't know what Devon saw in this guy and frankly he was tired of trying to find out. "Martin said the perimeter alarm is malfunctioning again and they want me to come back to camp to take a look at it."
"Oh," Sheppard said, secretly relieved that he would now be able to be alone to think about his plans. "I suppose I could follow these tracks and find out where the Grendler's den is, then radio the location back to camp." "No, Devon doesn't want anyone searching alone. They're sending someone out to take my place. You're supposed to stay here and wait for them," Baines replied as he grabbed his pack. "They should be here soon." Sheppard was annoyed, but he didn't let it show. "Who are they sending?" "Don't know. He didn't say. It'll probably someone from one of the other teams since we've found some tracks to follow. I don't think anyone else has had much luck," Baines shrugged.
"Well, I'll just wait here then," Sheppard said, forcing a smile. "OK, see you back at camp. Good luck."
"Goodbye," Sheppard answered. Well at least he could use the time before the other person arrived to finalize his plans for Danziger and Devon, he thought as he sat down on the trunk of a fallen tree. "Morgan, do you have the last coordinates for Baines and Sheppard?" Devon had rushed into the main room and headed toward the communications console. Morgan jumped at the sudden sound. Turning to see Devon striding rapidly towards him with a frown on her face, he stuttered, "Uh, yeah, sure. I just called Baines to get him back here and I got a reading on their position." "You called to get Baines back to camp?" Devon asked, momentarily confused. "Why?"
Deciding that he wasn't going to play the fall guy for whatever Danziger was up to, he answered, "Because that's what Danziger told me to do. He wanted me to get Baines to come back to camp. He was being really weird about it though, he didn't want me to tip off Sheppard that he was coming out to take Baines' place." Morgan shrugged his shoulders and threw his hands up in the air, indicating that he had no idea what was going on. "Dammit," cursed Devon, turning around to look at Yale who had followed her out to the main room. "What is he up to, Yale?" "Take it easy, Devon," Yale said, "Danziger just wanted to talk with Sheppard to find out if everything was all right." "Take it easy?!" Devon said incredulously. "You know damn well that Danziger is not going to just talk. He's too hotheaded." Devon shook her head. "I just can't believe what you're saying about Sheppard is true. Danziger has been suspicious of Sheppard since they met and he has been looking for an excuse to turn everyone against him."
"Devon, Danziger did not make up this story. The Elder told us of his own free will," Yale pleaded. Somehow he had to make her understand.Devon looked at the tutor. She didn't want to believe what he said, she couldn't. How could someone that she had felt so safe with, someone that she trusted, have done those things? No, Yale was wrong about Sheppard. It was all some misunderstanding. Maybe the Elder was angry that Sheppard had left. Maybe he blamed him for Katarina's death. She didn't know why he said the things he did, but she did know that he was wrong. He had to be. Still, something was different. Something wasn't right. She had felt it, but tried to explained it away. It was just because they hadn't seen or talked to each other in so many years...Wasn't it? She shook her head. She didn't have time to think about all of this. She had to stop any confrontation between the two men, something bad was going to happen if she didn't. The uneasiness that she had felt in the pit of her stomach over the last couple of days began to grow. She had to get there, now.
"Morgan, give me Sheppard's latest coordinates," she said, grabbing her coat and gear.
"16 degrees north, 5 degrees west, about 5 kilometers," Morgan answered, avoiding the glare Yale gave him.
"Devon what are you doing?" Yale asked. "I'm going to stop this," she answered angrily. "Devon, don't.." Yale's plea hung in the air, unfinished and unheard as Devon bolted from the building.
Spying the one person vehicle that had been transformed into a makeshift wheelchair for Alonzo, she jumped into it and sped off just as Yale emerged from the biodome.
"Devon!!" the tutor shouted at the quickly disappearing vehicle. Knowing that she didn't hear him and wouldn't stop even if she had, he turned and hurried back into the biodome. "Morgan, I want you to call the other search teams and give them the last known coordinates for Danziger and Sheppard. I want everyone to go to that location."
"Why? What the hell is going on?" Morgan asked, confused with all the cloak and dagger antics.
"I can't explain it right now, just get everyone there," Yale answered as he too grabbed a set of gear and place it on his head. Seeing a pistol lying on the table, he started to reach for it then hesitated. Although he was able to fire at Gaal when forced to, his weapons aversion program was still active. His hand hovered over the pistol then slowly continued forward, grasping the weapon. Yale turned to leave.
"Where are you going?" Morgan asked nervously, seeing that the tutor had taken the weapon.
"To make sure nothing bad happens," Yale answered as the door slammed shut behind him.Sheppard sat perfectly still, staring intently at the water of the stream that danced over and around the stones and twigs that threatened to block its path. In his mind he was formulating a plan...a plan that would take care of the obstacles that stood in his way, and assure his bond with Devon. It had become clear to him that he needed to rid Devon of Danziger's influence before he could step in and lead the group to New Pacifica. He was certain that he could quickly solidify his hold on Devon with just a few more Dreamplane ‘sessions'. Sheppard smiled to himself, *This is going to be so easy. Once I control Devon then I control ‘everything'*
Danziger sped along in the dunerail, barely avoiding a large bolder in his haste. He had been going over what the Elder had told him, and was getting angrier by the minute thinking about the way Sheppard had taken advantage of Devon. *Just like the slimeball to prey on a woman in a vulnerable state,* he fumed. *I should be coming up on his coodinates any minute.*
Sheppard was growing tired of waiting for his new search partner and was getting ready to head back to camp when he first spotted the bush moving. He watched as it slowly moved aside, revealing a Grendler emerging from a hole in the ground. Slipping behind a tree, Sheppard stood quietly as the animal replaced the bush and then lumbered off into the forest. "So that's where the beast has been hiding," he thought. "I wonder what he's got down there?" As he moved toward the bush to investigate, he heard the sound of the approaching vehicle.
Danziger couldn't quite interpret the expressions he saw on the older man's face when he arrived at the clearing. For an instant he thought he saw fear then hate before the usual mask of restraint returned. It took all he had to contain the anger that had built up inside of him as he drove to this destination. He knew, however, that he had to be calm and crafty if he was going to trick Sheppard into revealing his true self. *What if he has really changed?* a small voice whispered in the back of his mind. *Fat chance* his more cynical side scoffed, for it knew that his intuition about this man had been sounding alarms from the moment they met. "Well, good afternoon, Mr. Danziger," Sheppard smiled coolly, his mind racing to figure out the mechanic's agenda. *What was he doing here? Did it have something to do with his and Yale's disappearance this morning?* "Thought I'd come give you a hand in hunting for the Grendler," Danziger replied casually. He didn't want to tip his hand too soon. He had to wait for the right moment to confront Sheppard.
"Umm," Sheppard remarked. *Sure you did...What are you up to?* he said silently. "Well, I'm happy for the company," he smiled superficially, as he nodded to the other man.
"So, you have any luck with those tracks you and Baines were following?" "No, not yet," Sheppard lied. He chose not to tell Danziger about the Grendler or its den, deciding that they might come in handy at a later time as a plan began to formulate in his mind. "Well, maybe we should backtrack. You guys might have missed something further back where the tracks started." Danziger suggested, eyeing the other man.
"Whatever you think is best." Sheppard shrugged, grabbing his walking stick and standing to join Danziger. "Lead on." The two men walked in silence back toward the creek where Baines and Sheppard had first spotted the tracks. Each contemplating their own agenda. Finally, Danziger spoke.
"So, Sheppard, it looks like we're going to be spending a lot of time together traveling to New Pacifica so maybe we should try and get to know one another. "
"Yes, I'd like that," Sheppard replied, glancing over to the man walking slightly behind him.
"So where did you and your sister grow up?" Danziger asked innocently. "We were born on earth and lived most of our lives there, near mining colony 16. And you?"
"Born and bred on the Stations. Feels kinda nice to get my feet on some solid dirt instead of the cold hard metal of those floating colonies. Never thought I'd say that, but there sure is something about this planet that makes you feel like a new man."
"Yes, this is a remarkable planet," Sheppard agreed. "It's amazing the things I've seen since we crashed here," Danziger remarked. "Man, I can't tell you how many times something has happened that just blew me away. It's almost like this planet is magic." Sheppard glanced at the other man, but said nothing.
"And those diggers, boy are they incredible. I mean, that dreamplane stuff, did you ever imagine anything like that could ever be possible?" He turned to look at Sheppard.
"It is a pretty wonderful thing," Sheppard nodded. He thought he knew where the other man was going with this conversation. *He's not very subtle* "Tell me something, Sheppard," Danziger stopped suddenly and turned toward the other man. "How did you know that the Terrians and this planet could help Uly and the other Syndrome children?"
Slightly startled that Danziger would ask such a forthright question so soon, Sheppard paused for a moment. He quickly collected his thoughts and answered, "The Terrians told me they could."
"But how could they know if they would be able to help him? "The Terrians understand that anything on this planet ultimately becomes a part of it. And if the child were here, they could use it to help him," Sheppard answered. "The Terrians have a such a symbiotic link to this planet that they are able to tap into the metaphysical part of it at will." "Hmm," Danziger said thoughtfully. "It's sort of strange the bond all these Terrians have with each other and this place," he said, sweeping his arm around to indicate their surroundings.
"Yes, their bond is quite strong," Sheppard agreed. "It's incredible what they are capable of," the mechanic went on, "it's no wonder the Council wants to control them and this planet. No telling what the Council would be able to do if they were ever able to accomplish that." "Hmmm," Sheppard nodded. "They are amazing creatures." He continued walking, following the Grendler tracks deeper into the forest. *This is crazy,* Danziger thought to himself. *I'm not getting anywhere like this. I need to know if this guy is back to his old tricks or not.* Danziger was never one to play games, he'd always had better luck with the direct approach.
"Look Sheppard, " Danziger stopped and looked at the other man. "You know first hand how ‘amazing' the Terrians are, don't you?" "I'm not sure what you're talking about," Sheppard said, cautiously. *Where was the mechanic going with this?? *
"What I'm talking about is the little ‘deal' that your sister made with the diggers." If Sheppard were still ‘transformed' then he wouldn't know anything about the agreement Katarina had made with the Terrians or anything about his real past. If he could just get the older man upset or angry, maybe he'd slip up and reveal himself.
"I don't know what ‘deal' you're talking about," Sheppard said coolly. "My sister never had much contact with the Terrians, she was ill and kept to herself." *How could he know about what Katarina had done?* Danziger saw an opening. "Oh, she was ill all right. Looney as they come. I guess she had you to thank for that, didn't she?" "If you're implying that the sleep chamber malfunction was somehow my fault, I don't where you're coming up with that, I loved my sister very much," Sheppard said, indignant. He could feel the anger starting to swell inside of him.
"Oh no, I'm not implying anything about that chamber. And it sounds like you really loved your sister, dragging her into a pack of fanatics and all, and getting her shipped off to this planet with you when you couldn't play nice with the Council," Danziger said sarcastically. "Yeah, buddy, you really know how to treat family. I'd hate to see how you treat people you don't like." Sheppard stood, fuming. *Danziger and the tutor must have talked to the Elder somehow. That must be where they were this morning. He should have realized that the old man wouldn't keep his mouth shut...He should have shut it for him.*Devon raced toward Danziger and Sheppard's last reported location. She still couldn't believe the things that Yale had told her. Questions flew through her mind. *Could I have been that wrong about Sheppard? Was the Elder telling the truth? What if Danziger and Yale were wrong about Sheppard and he was still the kind, loving man that came to her on the dreamplane? What if he weren't?* So many questions that needed answers. *I should be there soon,* she thought as the hollow feeling began to grow in the pit of her stomach.
Danziger continued to try and bait Sheppard into revealing himself. " So tell me Sheppard, how does it feel knowing that you had to have a ‘woman' save you ass? That doesn't sit well with most ‘High Priests' now does it? I mean, you're supposed to be some bigwig and all, aren't you? But I guess you couldn't hold your own with the Terrians. Your sister had to beg them to let you live. She had to trade her ‘soul' to save yours. "
Danziger wasn't expecting what happened next. Sheppard swiftly brought his walking staff up and struck the other man on the side of the head. Danziger fell to the ground, struggling to reach his weapon before unconsciousness took him. When he came to, his wrist were bound behind him and he was leaning against a tree stump. Sheppard was watching him, perched atop a large rock. The weapon in his hand, aimed directly at the mechanic.
End part 16
Do You Know My Shadow? (17/17)
by Lisa 04
"Well, I guess this answers my question," Danziger said, shaking his head to ward off the grogginess. *How long was I out?* he wondered. "What question would that be, Mr. Danziger," Sheppard said, smiling. "The question about whether you turned into your old lovable self after your sister died," Danziger answered. *How the heck am I gonna get out of this? Keep your cool, Danziger, think.*
"Yes, I never really did ‘repay' you for killing my sister," Sheppard sneered. "I suppose, in a way, I should thank you. Her meddling almost ruined everything." "However," he continued, leveling the gun at Danziger's head, "I'm not feeling very gracious at the moment. She was, after all, my only family."
"Somehow I'm guessing that family really doesn't mean a whole lot to you," Danziger quipped, immediately sorry he'd shot off his mouth. *Hello, stupid!! He's got the gun, remember. You can stop trying to make him mad now. Maybe you'd be better served trying to figure out how to get out of this mess...* Danziger winced as the blast scorched the treebark above his head. "I'm sitting here thinking that maybe you aren't in the best position right now to be making remarks about what is, or isn't, important to me...What do you think?" Sheppard remarked, angrily, returning his aim to Danziger's head. "I guess that would be true," Danziger answered. He tried to glance around to find his gear. *Shouldn't Yale be starting to worry since he hadn't called in? Damn, how long was I out?* He spotted the gear lying in a crumpled heap about 5 meters away. The blow to his head had destroyed it. "Don't get any ideas, Mr. Danziger," Sheppard warned, noticing where the other man was looking. "I've got the only functional gear here. And don't expect that anyone will be trying to contact you anytime soon. I called camp and said that we had found the Grendler's den and we were going in to try and retrieve some of the equipment before the animal came back." Danziger looked at Sheppard, "Now what?" He was beginning to realize that his chances of getting out of this situation were diminishing by the second but he wasn't ready to give up just yet. *Keep him talking. Maybe you will come up with something... Man, my head hurts!!* "Now what, indeed. I'm guessing that the others will come here to help retrieve the equipment from the Grendlers' nest. That gives me about 20 minutes to put my plan into action," Sheppard answered, getting up from the rock and moving toward Danziger.
"And what plan is that?" Danziger asked as he was rudely pulled to his feet. *Get the bad guys to reveal their plans. Isn't that how they do it in the video feeds?* Danziger shook his head, he was still groggy from the blow to the head. *Stop digressing, think....Think!!!* "The plan where I smash in your head with a rock and throw you into the Grendler's den, saying that it ambushed you before I could do anything," Sheppard revealed, pushing Danziger back toward the clearing. "Walk!" *This is not going well,* Danziger thought. *I've got to keep stalling him.* "So Sheppard, tell me, how does it feel to be back to your old self again?" Danziger stumbled along, it was difficult to keep his balance with his hands behind his back.
"Don't fool yourself into thinking that we are that different, Mr. Danziger. We all have sides to us that others don't understand. Some chose to let their weaker side show while others, like myself, know the freedom that comes with allowing their darker side to evolve and lead. Given different circumstances, you too may have learned this. Was there not a time in your life when you felt an anger inside of you so powerful that you feared it?"Danziger remained quiet. He thought back to Elle's accident. He had been so angry with the Council. It was their impossible work schedule that forced Elle to do a spacewalk at the end of a double shift. It was also their low-bid equipment that malfunctioned. He was capable of doing just about anything after she slipped into the coma. The only thing that helped keep his anger in check was the knowledge that she was carrying their child. If True hadn't been on the way, he wasn't sure what would have happened.
Sheppard continued, "Well, I learned not to fear that anger, but to use it to gain strength. I found out long ago that there is no substitute for power and revenge. Katarina's bargain with the Terrian's only served to strengthen my resolve. I was weak and vulnerable during that time, but no longer. I have very big plans for this planet, plans that were merely put on hold while my sister kept my strength from me." He turned the mechanic around to face him. Danziger saw a coldness in his eyes that sent a shiver through his body. "Some people are born evil, Mr. Danziger...I chose to be."
"What's wrong with this thing?!!", Devon yelled. The vehicle had glided to a stop and resisted every effort to get it started again. "Damn!" With each passing moment, her fears grew. She had tried to raise Danziger on gear several times while ignoring Yale's attempts to contact her. "It shouldn't be too much farther," she sighed as she grabbed her pack and started running.
"Well, here we are Mr. Danziger," Sheppard said, pushing the other man into the clearing. "I'm afraid this is the end of the line for you. I've got plans that just don't include you."
"And what plans would that be?" Danziger asked. He turned around to face the man who held his life in his hands. *Gotta keep him talking until I can think of something.*
"The plan where I take control of the Terrians and this planet, once and for all," Sheppard answered as he glanced around the clearing. "Oh, and how do you propose to do that?" Danziger quipped. "Why do you think that I would tell you anything?" Sheppard said still searching for something.
"Oh come on, haven't you heard about granting a dead man one last wish? If you're gonna zap me, at least you could clue me in on your grand plan," Danziger prodded. Sheppard didn't answer as he was still busy looking around the clearing in search of something. "What are you looking for?" Danziger asked finally.
"Something to bash your head in with," Sheppard answered. "Ah, here's a nice size one," he said, walking over to a large rock. "This should do the trick quite nicely. Now what were you saying?" Danziger looked at him, then at the rock beside him. "I was asking you if you were going to tell me what your big plan was before you killed me." "Why would I want to do that?" Sheppard asked as he bent over to pick up the stone. Realizing that it was too heavy to lift with one hand, he placed his gun on the ground beside it.
"Doesn't the bad guy always brag about his plans before he kills the good guy?" Danziger asked. He noted the location of the gun and the fact that it was no longer aimed at his head.
"Maybe in the video feeds that you watch, Mr. Danziger," Sheppard said as he walked toward the mechanic. "You're so smart, you tell me. You've seemed to have figured everything else out."
"Look, I'm just a dumb mechanic. I'm not some genius High Priest or anything. How could I possibly figure out anything you've cooked up?" Danziger said. He hoped he could buy some time by playing on the other man's ego. "Good point," Sheppard agreed. *What could it hurt, anyway. It really was quite a brilliant plan,* he thought.
"All right , Mr. Danziger," Sheppard began, "I'll spell it out for your little mind. The first thing I came to realize when we arrived here was that for some reason the Council wanted this planet badly but hadn't yet colonized it. At first I didn't understand why...then we met the Terrians. After seeing their bond to this planet, I understood why it was that the Council had not yet taken it over. Anyone that wanted to control this place had to also control the Terrians. The Council had tried to determine the connection between the Terrians and the planet, but had failed. I was determined to discover this before they did and use it to gain control for myself. I had one advantage, I was here and they were back on the stations. All the information that they gathered from their scientific expeditions and experiments on penal colonists couldn't help them. They didn't know about the one thing that linked the Terrians to the planet... the dreamplane. Once I learned about the dreamplane I began experimenting with it. You see, they never had to worry about anyone invading their dreams so they were defenseless against my using them while they slept. It wass during this experimentation that I found out about this planets miraculous ability to ‘heal'. I also learned more about the Terrians. Did you realize, Mr. Danziger, that the Terrians are a fairly emotionless species?""I knew they were pretty cold, but emotionless...no I didn't know that," Danziger answered. *Damn, these ropes are too tight, I can't get my hands free.*
"Well they are. At least in the sense that they don't have emotions like ours. That's when I started to realize that I would never be able to control them by myself. They don't respond to things like we do, they function in an entirely different moral and emotional state. Somehow a link between humans and Terrians had to be formed or I would never be able to control them."Danziger slowly began to understand. "That's what you're up to. You want Uly! You wanted him all along!" Rage welled up in Danziger and he charged the other man, surprising him. Sheppard grunted as Danziger threw his shoulder into his midsection. The stone he was holding fell from his grip, striking Danziger in the back. The mechanic fell to the ground as Sheppard stumbled backwards, also falling. Both men rushed to stand up but Sheppard, not hindered by bound hands, stood first. He charged Danziger and tackled him just as he had regained his footing. Both men went flying, landing in a small stream that flowed through the clearing. Danziger was momentarily stunned when the full weight of the other man forced his breath from him. He struggled to breath as Sheppard grabbed his shirt and dragged him to a deeper part of the stream. He released Danziger's shirt and put his boot squarely in the center of his chest. Danziger choked as the water rushed over his mouth. Each time he raised his head out of the water to gasp for air, Sheppard would shove him back down. Danziger could feel the life going out of him as his lungs struggled to inhale. Before he gave in to the urging of his lungs and breathed a fatal breath of water, his head was pulled from the stream. Sheppard glared at him.
"I want my face to be the last thing you see before you die," Sheppard snarled, hatred glaring in his eyes.
Danziger coughed as his lungs hungrily took in air. "Why," he gasped, "why Devon and Uly?"
"Because the Terrians would have healed him, forever forming a bond with the boy,and Devon had the means to get him here. Once they were on this planet, I could easily control Devon and then the boy. You see, Mr. Danziger, he can do something the Terrians can't, he can function as an individual. His ability to be a part of their group as well as an independent thinker makes him more powerful than any Terrian. He's the perfect hybrid, part Terrian and part human, part of their species and part of ours...Once I control him, I control them. It had to be a child or the bond would never be strong enough. The children on this planet were too healthy. It wouldn't work for them," Sheppard answered. "I had set my plan in motion when Katarina pulled her little stunt. It almost ruined everything. Luckily, my weaker side continued to woo Devon to this planet, even though it was for different reasons. The transformation actually did work, Mr. Danziger. I did become a good man who loved Devon and wanted her to bring her son here so that he could be healed," he continued, " And I could have stayed that way had I chosen to...but I didn't. So I guess you were right in a way, a leopard doesn't change his spots." Sheppard shoved Danziger's head back under the water, holding him there."STOP!!"
Sheppard turned to see Devon standing behind him, holding the weapon that he had abandoned in his search for the rock. She was aiming the gun directly at him, tears streaming down her face. "Let him go!"
Sheppard knew that he had only one chance. "All right, Devon," he said, letting go of Danziger's head and standing up. Danziger choked and coughed. He was too busy trying to breath to realize what was happening. "Why?" she cried. "Why did you do it?"
"Because I love you," Sheppard soothed, "Devon, we belong together." Sheppard slowly advanced toward her.
"No, no you don't," she sniffed, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Don't come near me. Stay where you are." Sheppard realized that she had heard his last confession to Danziger.
"Devon, you know that you can't shoot me. Think of all the things we shared," he said, still walking towards her. "I saved Uly's life, you said so yourself."
"Stay right there, don't take another step!" she yelled. Sheppard leaped toward her. Devon stumbled back, firing at the figure lunging through the air. Her first shot hit him squarely in the chest, killing him instantly. The second and third shots hit him in the arm and midsection as he fell to the ground. Devon stood there trembling, her hands gripping the weapon so tightly that her fingers were white. The water had loosened the ropes and Danziger managed to free himself just as Sheppard lunged toward Devon. He scrambled to the other man, placing his hand on his neck to check for a pulse. Getting up, he walked over to Devon and gently took the gun from her. He turned her towards him, noting the vacant look in her eyes."Devon, look at me," he said. Her eyes stayed transfixed on the body. "Look at me." His hands turned her face up and his eyes sought hers, forcing her to focus on him. "You had no choice, he came after you. He was going to kill us both." Just then, she began to sob and Danziger pulled her close, holding her until Yale and the others arrived. He explained to everyone what had happened and Yale took Devon back to camp while Danziger and several of the other colonists wrapped Sheppard's body in a blanket and loaded him on the dunerail. Danziger sent everyone back to camp and climbed in the vehicle. He drove back to where it had all started. The Elder met him as he drove up, noting the vehicle's cargo.
"I was afraid it would end this way," he shook his head sadly. "He made the wrong choice," Danziger said, unloading Sheppard's body. "I thought you might want me to bring him back here." "Yes," the Elder agreed, "we'll take care of him. We'll bury him next to his sister, she would have wanted that. Despite his dark heart, she loved him." "Sometimes love just isn't enough," Danziger said, climbing back into the vehicle. "One more thing," Danziger continued. "Is it over?" "Yes," the Elder answered. "Because his essence was with him, it died when he did."
"Good," the mechanic said, as he turned the vehicle around and headed home.VOICE of YALE: An old American Indian proverb once said that ‘The man who chooses to follow behind his shadow, will eventually perish in its darkness. We all have sides to us that are best left powerless. The choices we make determine our future. Sheppard chose to follow his shadow and it led him into a blackness from which he could not escape. His fate was sealed long ago... With time and the help of all who love her, Devon will recover from the shock of taking another human life. She will continue, as will we all, to move towards our new hope and new life... New Pacifica.
-The End-
Thanks to all of you for your patience and encouragement.
Lisa
This text file was ran through PERL script made by Andy. Original text file is available in Andy's Earth 2 Fan Fiction Archive.