Andy's Fan-Fiction Archive

FUMBLING TOWARD ECSTASY
By
Margaret A. Czarney

Timeline: Years after
Author's E-Mail: mczarney@jcvaxa.jcu.edu or mcstarlight@hotmail.com

AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Boy, does this one need explanation.
First of all, disclaimer. None of the characters are mine, and some of the idea belongs to CB and Lizzie and Ellie.
Second, this story builds on the idea that we heard about in that CB chat awhile ago that Danziger would be entrusted with Devon's essence while she was in cold sleep. Lizzie, Ellie, and I decided that meant that Devon basically moved into Danz's head. Well, this assumes that Devon has been living in Danz's head for a few years now and no one else knows about this arrangement.
Third, I make no promises that this story is comprehendible. See, I was alone in the chat room at WBS and I was bored and started posting this in the room, and then I evenutally had a whole story on my hands. I figured some people on this list might acutally want to read this (although, maybe not *S*) so I figured I'd post it. It's weird, not very well thought through, but, I like it okay, so... ::shrug::
Fourth, the title has *nothing* to do with the story, but I figured a Sarah McLachlan song was a better title than 'A Story'. *S*

Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
by Margaret A. Czarney

John walked back to the house he shared with True, Uly, and Yale at New Pacifica. A shapely woman waved to him as he walked by, and ran to catch up to him. Sighing inwardly, he stopped and waited for her to catch up. "Hi Tina," he greeted her casually.
She smiled brightly at him. "Hi John, I was wondering," she said. "I'm getting together with a few friends of mine tomorrow night, and I'd reaaallly like for you to join me."
John resisted the urge to groan. "Sorry, Tina, I have other plans," he said, and walked off, leaving a very annoyed and put-off woman behind.
~Why didn't you say yes?~ a familiar voice sounded in his head, the words making him stop in his tracks. ~What?? Devon, why would I want to go eat dinner with *her*?~
~Not for dinner, you yutz,~ Devon thought to him from her half of Danziger's head. ~For other things.~
"I gotta sit down," Danziger muttered, completely shocked. He sat down on the beach and resumed his conversation with Devon. ~You're actually suggesting what I think you are? You're crazy, Adair, I'm in love with *you* in case you've forgotten!!!~ Both being stuck in Danziger's head, John and Devon's feelings for each other hadn't stayed hidden for long.
~I know that, and I love you, but it can't exactly be a complete relationship,~ Devon's thoughts were sarcastic. ~My body's locked up in a cold sleep chamber, in case *you've* forgotten. I wouldn't mind if you...~ Devon's 'words' failed her, but John got the message.
~**I** would mind!!!! Devon, you are nuts!! I couldn't *do* that!~ Danziger sensed her relief at his 'words' and shook his head, standing and resuming his course towards home. ~Lord, Devon, you scare me sometimes. I don't care if I can't touch you, I fell in love with your mind and your heart and your soul, not just your body.~
~Sorry, I just *hate* this sometimes. I can't touch you, you can't touch me...~ Devon thought.
Danziger replied ~Yeah, but I wouldn't trade this closeness we have for anything, Devon.~ John reached the house. It was late, everyone else was asleep, so Danziger went into his room and got ready for bed.
As he lay down to sleep, Danziger could still sense Devon's troubled thoughts, and he sought to reassure her. ~Devon, I love you, more than anything. All I need is you. Whatever way I can have you is more than enough for me.~ John felt her love for him as she 'smiled' (so to speak)
~I love you too, John, thank you. Goodnight.~
Sometime during the night, John was pulled into a dream. He was with Devon, and the dream quickly turned into a nightmare as long, dark, ominous tendrils appeared seemingly out of nowhere and grabbed hold of Devon's limbs. "John! John!" she screamed for his help.
As hard as he tried, John couldn't release her. "No, Devon! Hold on!" he shouted, but there was nothing he could do. Devon was pulled away from him, into a mist, and she disappeared. "NO!!!! DEVON, WHERE ARE YOU!!!" he shouted, looking frantically for Devon, with rising panic. "DEVON!! NO!!"
John woke up, still screaming. "No!" He sat up in bed, and put both hands over his mouth, trying to regain his composure. Before he did, three worried people rushed into his room. Yale arrived first and took in John's deathly pale appearance and his shaking shoulders. Uly and True were right behind Yale.
"Dad, what's wrong?" True demanded worriedly. His daughter's concerned voice snapped John out of his panic-induced trance, at least partially.
"Just a nightmare, True," he said, still a little shaky. He tried to smile at the worried children. "Just a nightmare," he repeated. Yale wondered if he was trying to convince himself, as well as True and Uly. "Go on back to bed, I'll be fine," John said. "I'll see you in the morning." The children reluctantly complied, but Yale lingered behind.
"Are you alright, John?" the old tutor asked.
John nodded, getting up and rubbing his face. "Yeah, Yale, I'm fine," John replied, "God, what a nightmare, though."
"Would you like to talk about it?" Yale asked.
John shook his head quickly. "No, not now, Yale. I need some air, I'll be right outside," John said. Yale nodded and left for his bedroom, and John quickly dressed and went outside.
John walked along the beach, the only one awake in the colony of New Pacifica at the early hour, and tried to banish the images of the nightmare. ~Devon, that scared me half to death. If that ever really happened...~ John thought, not wanting to imagine life without Devon there. Devon stayed silent, which was odd, John could hear any of her thoughts, and she couldn't not think for long. A terrible fear started growing in the pit of John's stomach, and he stopped along the shore, the waves lapping by his feet unnoticed. ~Devon? Oh, God, please, be here,~ John thought. Still nothing. Devon was gone. Her consciousness was no longer in Danziger's head. John fell to his knees with the shock of the realization. "No," he whispered. He had lost her. "God, no, Devon," John said quietly. The tears started to fall as John's consciousness met with the shock of being the only inhabitant of this mind. The salty tears fell into the salt-water of the sea as John knelt there in shock.
After an indeterminable time, Danziger's mind started functioning again. ~What happened?~ he thought. Devon wasn't with him anymore. But where else could she have gone? The Terrians wouldn't have moved her to another person's mind, not after all this time. ~Unless...~ John's eyes widened with the thought. No, it couldn't be possible,... could it? But it was the only explanation... if Devon was healed, the Terrians would have moved her back, right? His heart started to soar with hope, and then it took a violent nosedive as another thought occurred to him. ~Or what if... oh, God, what if something happened to her in the cold sleep chamber, if her body died... she would too, wouldn't she.~ Fear gripped John's heart. Then he made a decision. He had to go back to the ship, it was the only way of finding out, and he *had* to know.
John got up and brushed the sand from his pants. He walked quickly over to Julia and Alonzo's house, resisting the urge to run. He arrived there and John glanced around, it was still early, but they would forgive John for waking them. He hoped. He knocked on the door and kept knocking until a sleepy Julia answered the door. She almost instantly came awake. "John, is anything wrong? Is anyone sick?" she asked.
John shook his head. "No, everyone's fine," he replied. "I need to talk to Alonzo, is he up?"
"Yeah, I'm up, mostly," Alonzo yawned, coming up to stand next to Julia. "What is it?" he asked.
John glanced quickly to Julia and then looked back at Alonzo. "I need you to fly me back to the ship where we locked Devon in cold sleep," John said firmly.
Julia and Alonzo wore identical expressions of shock. "What... why?" Alonzo asked.
"I..." John was stuck, there was no way he was telling them Devon had been living in his head all this time, but he had to say something to convince them. "Something's happened, I know it has," he said. "Look, I know it sounds crazy, but I had a dream, a nightmare, and I just know something's happened to her," John said, swallowing hard as some of his fear surfaced.
"A dream?" Alonzo asked. "What, like a terrian dream?"
John paused. "No. I mean, maybe. Aw, hell, I don't know, I've never had one before!" John said in frustration. "All I know is that something's happened and I've got to find out what. Can you fly me over there?" John asked, almost pleadingly.
Alonzo glanced at Julia, who nodded, and then looked back at Danziger. "Yeah, sure. Give me 15 minutes to get ready," he said, and ran off to get dressed and get his gear for the trip.
Danziger turned to Julia. "Can you tell Yale and the kids that I've gone, and I'll be back soon?" he asked.
Julia frowned, "Why don't you tell them yourself?" she asked.
John shook his head. "No, Yale will try to convince me not to go, and I don't want to try and explain to Uly, right now..." John trailed off.
Julia considered John for a moment and then nodded. "Alright, I will. Good luck, John," she said. Alonzo came out minutes later and he and John went to the airfield and took off for the ship where they had left Devon in cold sleep.
The trip in the aircraft only took a few hours, but felt like an eternity to John, who sat there and wondered what he would find when they arrived. The trip was made in silence, Alonzo sensed that Danziger didn't want to talk and respected that.
The plane set down and Danziger and Alonzo got out. Danziger keyed in the codes to deactivate the security perimeter and led the way into the ship, his fear and nervousness increasing with each step. They made their way into the cold sleep chamber. Danziger looked to where they had left Devon. The crypt was empty. Danziger closed his eyes in relief, at least he hadn't found her body here.
John picked up Uly's terrian staff and finally turned to Alonzo, who was staring at the empty chamber in shock. "Where *is* she?" he asked disbelievingly.
"She's gone," John said simply, and made his way out of the ship.
Alonzo followed him. "I guessed that," Alonzo said dryly. "But who could have taken her? It didn't look like the security field was tampered with."
John checked the monitor again. "It wasn't, no one has even tried to get through since we set this up."
Alonzo shook his head. "But then how...?"
John looked at him. "The Terrians could have gotten her, couldn't they?"
Alonzo nodded, 'Yeah, they could have. But why?'
"How should I know??" John snapped. "Look, can you contact them, see if they did take her?"
Alonzo shrugged. "I can try, but I'm not guaranteeing anything. They ignore me pretty well when they want to."
"Well, then try!" John said, sighing in frustration. He fought to keep the hope from growing too strong while he waited for Alonzo.
Alonzo shook his head and opened his eyes. "I can't get in touch with any Terrians," he told Danziger apologetically.
"Damn," Danziger swore.
"We were not expecting you so soon," a voice came from behind them.
Danziger and Alonzo both whirled around. "Mary!" Danziger exclaimed. "Do you know what happened to Devon?" he asked.
Mary nodded. "Yes, the Terrians accepted me back on the terms that I guard the link's human mother."
"Mary, where is she?" Danziger demanded. He heard the earth disrupt and turned toward the sound of Terrians rising from the earth. His heart stopped and his breath caught in his throat when he saw the familiar figure clad in a white robe standing between two Terrians. Uly's terrian staff fell unnoticed from Danziger's hand as his eyes met Devon's. "Devon?" The word was little more than a whisper. John was frozen to the spot he was standing, unable to do anything but stare at the vision before him. Devon looked down at her hands, examining them for a moment, then she looked back up at John and smiled. She ran to him and threw herself into John's arms. He closed his eyes and held her tightly, his breath finally coming free from his throat. "God, Devon," he said quietly, for her ears only. I love you, was on the tip of his tongue, but a paranoid fear gripped him, what if she didn't remember?
But she calmed that fear when she whispered, "John, I love you."
He sighed in relief. "I love you, Devon," he said quietly, holding her tightly, feeling her heartbeat against his chest, her breath against his neck, and her arms wound tightly around his neck.
Alonzo just watched the scene in shock. Lord, what a day. Danziger wakes him up, demanding that Alonzo take him out here, and they get here and Devon was here, cured. God, she was *cured*. And now, Danziger was holding onto her for dear life, and Devon was holding onto John just as tightly. Alonzo must have missed something before they were forced to put Devon in cold sleep, because Devon and John were acting more like lovers than the good friends everyone believed them to be. The two of them eventually realized that Alonzo was still standing there, and they both turned towards him.
"Hi, Alonzo," Devon said.
"Devon, you're back," Alonzo said. He stepped forward and Devon moved away from John to hug Alonzo. He pulled away and looked at her, and then laughed. "Boy, do you have a lot to get caught up on." Devon and John shared a glance, and John suppressed a smile and shrugged. "What?" Alonzo, suddenly sure that he was missing something.
"He doesn't know?" Mary asked.
Devon and John both shook their heads. "No one knew," Devon replied.
"Knew what?" Alonzo asked, completely confused.
Devon looked at John, biting her lip. "It's up to you," John replied.
She thought for a moment, and then got an evil glint in her eyes. Devon turned back to Alonzo. "Congratulations on your marriage to Julia and your two baby daughters," she said.
Alonzo's jaw dropped. "Wha...?" He looked to Danziger. "You told her that," he said.
Danziger shook his head. "Nope, didn't tell her a thing," he said.
Devon started listing dates, birthdates, the day Julia and Alonzo got married, other things she couldn't possibly know about.
"How do you know all this?" Alonzo asked. "It's like you were there all the time, but that's impossible." He looked from Devon to John. "It is, right?"
"I was there," Devon said. She tried to explain, but she wasn't quite sure where to even begin. Danziger didn't know either.
Then Mary stepped in. "I will show him, we will dream," she said. Mary then trilled to the Terrians, and they activated their staffs and gently touched them to John and Devon's heads. The two dropped to the ground, unconscious, and before Alonzo could protest, he was pulled onto the dreamplane.
John woke up with a bad headache. His gaze fell on the woman still unconscious beside him and John smiled. It hadn't been a dream, she was really back. John reached out and brushed the hair back from her face.
"This explains a lot, you know," Alonzo said, smiling at him from where he was sitting a few.
Danziger sat up and looked at him quizzically. "Like what?"
"Well, for one, your big improvement in mood after we put Devon in cold sleep," Alonzo said. "You were a bear, and then one day you were your old self again, like nothing had happened. And then we caught you arguing with yourself a few times, or just staring off into space. A couple of us wondered if you had lost it, but we didn't say anything."
"Oh, yeah, well, it was a big adjustment," John said, a little embarrassed. "And the arguments with myself," he shook his head, "Devon would goad me into saying something out loud in front of you guys."
"I did not," Devon protested.
"You did too," John replied, smiling at her.
Alonzo smiled, it was just like old times. "Why didn't you guys tell anyone?" he asked.
"Uly," they said in unison, and then Devon continued. "We just couldn't think of a way to explain it to him. Or to anyone else. It just seemed easier on everyone to keep it a secret."
Alonzo nodded, he could understand that. "Well, you're both up, want to go home, Devon?" Devon smiled widely and nodded. John took her hand and helped her up, and they went to the aircraft and took off for New Pacifica.
They had snuck Devon over to Julia and Alonzo's. Devon borrowed some of Julia's clothes and Julia examined Devon for herself while John and Alonzo rounded up the rest of the Eden Advance. Devon had great fun answering the door for every knock and shocking the pants off of every one of them. The best reaction was Uly's, though, hands down. When Devon answered the door and Uly, True and Yale saw her standing there, they all stood there for about a minute, just staring at Devon, and then Uly yelled, "Mom!!" and launched himself into Devon's arms so fast and so unexpectedly that she tumbled backwards into John and Julia, and the four of them fell to the floor in a heap. Alonzo, Devon and John explained what had happened, and what the Terrians had done. Alonzo saved the two of them a lot of questions when he told everyone that the Terrians had asked them to keep Devon's transference a secret. Uly was a bit put off that the Terrians didn't tell him, but he had his mom back, so it didn't bother him for long. The impromptu party lasted for hours, as everyone slowly got used to Devon being back with them. Everyone also had a lot of fun watching Devon and John finish each other's sentences. It was uncanny, they seemed to know exactly what each other was thinking at all times, though both of them swore they were each alone in their own heads now. Eventually, thought, people started leaving, until eventually only Devon, John, Yale, the kids, and Julia and Alonzo were there. Alonzo and Julia's daughters, Rachel and Kara, had both been put to bed.
The adults were talking and True and Uly were content to just listen, until True asked a question. "Hey, where's Devon going to stay now? And Uly?" she asked. That brought the conversation to a halt. Devon and John looked at each other. They knew what they wanted to say, but they didn't know how the kids would react.
Uly spoke up. "We don't have to move to a different house, you and me could share a room, True, and my mom could have the other one."
True looked at Uly. "Are you nuts? I'm not sharing a room with you!"
"Well, then where's my mom going to sleep?" Uly retorted.
"She could stay with my dad in his room," True said. There were muffled sounds of shock from all the adults, which True and Uly ignored.
"Oh, yeah, good point," Uly said. "But they're not married," he said.
True shrugged. "So? Julia and Alonzo weren't, and they shared a tent."
"Yeah, I guess it really doesn't matter," Uly said.
The two children continued their conversation, while the adults just watched. Alonzo and Yale were trying not to laugh. Devon was just looking at them in surprise, and John bent his head near hers and murmured, "I wonder if we get a say in any of this?"
Devon laughed quietly. "I don't think we do," she said softly, amusement overtaking her surprise.
"Well, since the subject was brought up," John said, still speaking quietly. "Would you marry me?"
Devon spun around to face him. "What?"
John smiled at her. "You heard me. Don't tell me you weren't expecting this," he joked.
"No, I just thought you'd wait until we were alone, you idiot," Devon said, smiling at him. "And the answer is yes, of course." She bent her head and kissed him tenderly.
They broke apart to notice everyone grinning at them. True and Uly hugged them and the rest offered their congratulations. "Too bad everyone else left," Alonzo joked, "we could have had the wedding now, too."
Devon rolled her eyes. "I think a wedding is going to take a little planning, Alonzo," she said.
"Well, we're not starting tonight," John said. "We should probably get going."
Yale stood. "We'll go ahead," he said, meaning True, Uly, and himself. "We'll see you later." Devon and John nodded.
Julia came up with a small sac. "Here you go, Devon, this should last you a couple of days until you can get your own clothes."
Devon smiled and took the sac. "Thanks, Julia," she said, and hugged her. Then John and Devon left Alonzo and Julia's house and slowly walked back to theirs, hand in hand along the beach.
John groaned as he saw a figure approaching. "Oh no, hide me," he said.
"What, who is it?" Devon asked, peering through the darkness.
"Tina."
"Oh," Devon said understandingly. "I'll go talk to her, if you want," Devon offered.
"Thank you," John said, relieved.
Devon walked off to meet Tina. "Hello, Tina," she said.
Tina stopped and looked at Devon suspiciously. "Who are you?" she asked.
"I'm John's fianc�e," Devon said.
That shocked Tina. "What?? But I can't even get him to go on a date, and you're telling me you're engaged to him? How? Who are you?"
Devon smiled, she was enjoying this. "I'm Devon Adair."
Tina's jaw dropped. "But you're dead!"
Devon blinked. "Not the last time I checked, no." Devon took a step closer to Tina. "Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that John is off limits. Do you understand me?" Devon looked at Tina coldly. The other woman narrowed her eyes, but then nodded in defeat.
"I understand," she said, and walked away.
Devon smiled and walked back to John. He shook his head and took her into his arms. "Nice trick, how'd you manage to get her to go away?" he asked.
"Mmmn, intimidation," Devon replied. "You're just too soft, Danziger." She wrapped her arms around his waist, pulled herself closer, and grinned up at him. He laughed and bent his head to kiss her.
They stayed like that for many minutes before they decided that it was probably a good idea to get back home. They entered the house quietly and went to John's room, now their room. Devon unpacked the small bag Julia had given her, and then looked at it curiously.
John walked up to her. "What is it?"
Devon looked at him. "There's no nightshirt or pajamas in here," she said.
John grinned at her. "Julia's a smart woman," he said, wrapping his arms around her. "She knew what we'd be doing tonight."
Devon smiled back at him. "It didn't take that much effort to figure out," she said dryly.
John nodded. "Well, you got your wish," he said. "We can touch each other."
"Mmn-hmn," Devon murmured, trailing her hand across John's cheek. "And you feel wonderful."
John repeated the motion. "So do you," he said, his eyes smiling.
"I love you, John."
"I love you too, Devon."

-The End-

If you regret reading this, well, I warned you beforehand. ;) Feedback, threats, criticisms, grocery lists, whatever, they're all welcome, I just want email, people. :)
Margaret

This text file was ran through PERL script made by Andy. Original text file is available in Andy's Earth 2 Fan Fiction Archive.