THE LETTER
By
Margaret A. Czarney
Timeline: After "All About Eve" (Day 150)
Author's E-Mail: mczarney@jcvaxa.jcu.edu or mcstarlight@hotmail.com
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
I turned on VH-1 tonight and I was listening to the songs. I'm not sure what it was, if it was the music or a particular lyric, but I just had to sit down and write this. This little piece didn't give me any other choice.
(set near the end of AAE)
The Letter
by Margaret A. Czarney
Dear Yale,
As I write this, I feel myself slipping closer and closer to death. I'm so scared, Yale. I can tell you that, you've been my friend and confidant for so long. I could never hide anything from you. I wonder, did you suspect what I was hiding? Oh, Yale, I hid it so well, even from myself, and now it's too late to do anything about it. I'm sorry, my friend, I'm so sorry. I will miss you dearly.
I've asked John to look after Uly, and I know you understand why. John will be a good father to him. You yourself pointed out that John was already beginning to fill that role in Uly's life. And please, always be there for Uly, and for John.
John. He's the real reason I'm writing this. God, Yale, you of all people know how much I've depended on him. I couldn't have made it this far without him. And now I've asked him to take on so much, Yale. Caring for my son, keeping the group together and getting them to New Pacifica, setting up for the colony ship... Oh, I know he can do it, Yale, I have faith in him. But I'm worried, Yale, I'm worried about him. Will he be alright? Please, Yale, make sure he's alright. If you do nothing else, please, do this one thing for me. Make sure John's alright.
I love him. But you knew that already, didn't you? When I realized my feelings, I suddenly understood all those secret smiles and knowing looks you tossed in our direction so often. He loves me too, doesn't he? It's so obvious now, looking back. We must have been blind, Yale. But as they say, everyone has 20/20 hindsight.
I love him, but it's too late. I didn't realize it in time, Yale. Please don't tell him. It would only hurt him, and that's the very last thing I want to do, Yale.
That's actually my biggest regret, you know. I know I'm hurting him by leaving him, by dying, and it's this great weight in my chest, in my heart, but I can't... It's funny, you'd think what I'd regret the most is not being there to see Uly grow up, and Yale, I do regret that, I do. But knowing that I'll hurt John, that I'll cause him pain... I can't bear that Yale, I can't.
But I guess I won't have to for much longer, will I? Take care of him, Yale, and watch out for Uly, as you always have. Remind Uly of how much I loved him sometimes? And always, always, remember that I loved you dearly, my old friend. Devon
-The End-
Feedback is _required_ (mcstarlight@hotmail.com) I need to know if I should try and ignore the urge to write the next time I get a compulsion like this. I hope you enjoyed it. :)
This text file was ran through PERL script made by Andy. Original text file is available in Andy's Earth 2 Fan Fiction Archive.