KILL OR KISS?
By
Manuela Schuppe
Timeline: Before "First contact"
Author's E-Mail: Wolfgang.Stenzel@t-online.de
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Hey there!
Been a long time since I last posted something.... mhm.... can I remember how to do this?
Let's see...
Disclaimer: Earth 2 and its characters belong to Amblin Entertainment and Universal Televison (*sigh*). No infringements of copyrights intended.
Kill of Kiss?
---Cocktail Party on station sub-space zero---
"What about filling this out?" True took another card from another stand. It was always the same with her. Alex sighed.
"Okay, but this is really the last one, okay True?"
"Yeah, sure..."
Her sure sounded more like "unless until I find another one". Alex had to smile. Such a little kid and she already had her own head. About ten different cards for different competitions had already been filled out. Alex couldn't remember what all could be won. But one thing was sure: True had a lot of fun, and that was the only thing that mattered.
"Where's Dad?"
"He's over with Les to the tool stand."
"Where else..." True muttered while filling out the card. "I'm done. I put Dad's name on it. You need to be 18 for this one."
"Okay, throw it in and then hurry, cauz I need to go to the restrooms."
"Done."
The two walked over the place towards the restrooms. Alex looked around. A nice party for all those snobs. She wondered how much Adair had paid for it. There were many parents, all with their little deathly ill children here. She shuddered whenever she saw one. They were bony, tiny and looked awful ill. She felt sorry for them, and at the same time she was horrible glad that True didn't belong to them.
- * *
"Dad, when do we go aboard?"
"In a few minutes, we'll only wait until Les is back..."
True stood impatiently from one foot to the other. She wanted to go in, to start. It was a huge ship and she and her Dad had a nice room. It would be a lot of fun. And she would see so many things she could then tell those kids when she came back 44 years later. Wow, 44 years, quite a long time, all her friends would be moms and dads then. She snickered. What kind of thought.
In the distance a guy was speaking into a mic, announcing the winners of the various prices. True sighed. As far as she remembered, she had filled out 10 cards, this was the ninth price, and so far she had won nothing.
"True, what ab..."
"Dad, be quiet, please, I want to hear this!!!"
//Great...// just moments ago she had bugged him and now she wanted him to be quiet...
"And the price known as "Candle-light dinner dress" goes to.... Eben Synge!!!
Congratulations Eben, please come up here and get your price!!!!""Darn..." she sighted heavily. Gone was the dream of a price for her.
"True!!!" Danziger turned around to her, warning her with a cold look.
"Can we go now?" she just ignored him. She had hoped so much she would once in her life win a really good thing. But nooo!!! This wasn't her day, not even her year...
"Yeah, come on.." sensing the frustration of his daughter, he led her away, while the speaker went on talking.
"And now, ladies and gentlemen, we come to the main price, available only for those who are going to fly to the distant G889. Of course we are all going there, are we not???^Ô he laughed like he had made some really funny joke, grinning widely.
"He thinks he is funny, doesn't he?"
"Yes, he does, True."
"Well, he isn't." she stated.
Danziger laughed. "You're right.."
"Okay, here we go. The dinner with Miss Devon Adair goes to, let's see, what precious name we have here, ah, oh, Heidi, can you read this?"
"Let's see..." Heidi bent over the card, while the man went on with his endless talking. "It's John..."
"Ah, everybody named John, pay attention, please..." "He sucks, Dad..." The two of them were getting closer to the ship and the voice was not as loud as before.
"It's John... John Danziger..." Heidi smiled at the crowd.
"John Danziger, it's your time, man... John Danziger, you won a date with Devon Adair!!! Come up here!!!!" he waved and smiled and slimed.
"True..." John stopped, turning to his daughter. "what kind of cards have you filled out???"
"I don't know, Dad, really, I didn't know this..."
He wanted to run away now, but it was impossible, the crowd was cheering and he could impossible decline now. He'd have to do it later, when he was half alone with that Adair lady. He didn't like her very much. She seemed to be a little bit insane. Maybe a little more than a little bit....
How could he come out of this mess??? "It's alright, True, but I'd better go there now, as much as I hate it..." he sighed heavily.
True stayed back. She got angry. The first time ever she won something, and she couldn't use it? Why of all cards had she filled out that stupid card???? And why hadn't Alex prevented her by forbidding her to use her father's name????
Devon Adair gave Yale a sign. Immediately the cyborg searched his data bases and easily found one John Danziger. The man had not appeared yet. He leaned over to Devon and whispered into her ear.
"He's a mechanic, ops-crew, one of the team leaders."
//Great...// she thought. That was what she needed now. A man who would be completely hyper to meet her and ask her a bunch of stupid questions, as if she had nothing else to do.
The whole idea was crazy. But she had agreed to it, partly because there hadn't been another option left. Now she would have to struggle through an evening with a mechanic. Not that she was prejudiced, but she had met several of them and most didn't care really about the syndrome kids, they just wanted the high paid jobs because of exactly that: the money. A greedy bunch of people, not able to fall important decisions. Or stand up to her and defend their own opinion, however right they might be, because there were simply afraid of her.
She could imagine that dinner. And she hated it even now, without ever having seen the mechanic. She looked around the crowd, searching for someone who was approaching.
"John Danziger, huhu, hey, you lucky man, come on here, okay, people let's cheer a little!!!" Heidi and the man began clapping their hands and John Danziger grinded his teeth. It might really be better to turn around and walk away, but that could cost him this job and he couldn't risk that.
He knew how that dinner would be. Embarrassing silence, strange food he didn't know how to eat, this Adair lady talking endless monologues about the Syndrome and her great Eden Project. And he'd have to wear nice clothes, comb his hair (which he really hated...) shave twice a day, all these things.
He suddenly realized he was near the stage and saw no stairs to get up. Damn. How should he get up without stairs and without making a complete fool of himself in front of all those people? Not that he really cared, but he didn't want to appear numb, before Devon Adair had a fair chance meeting him. Not that he really wanted this. This Adair lady wasn't interesting, his job was the one thing he was interested in keeping.
He looked around, searching for some stairs. That was the moment when the speaker saw him.
"Ah, look, there is he!!! John Danziger!!! Come on here man, the lady of your dreams is waiting!!!!"
//Lady of my dreams???// that guy was even more crazy than Danziger had first thought. The next time he met him alone, he'd tell him that.
//Lady of his dreams??? Did I allow him to say something like that???// she was really annoyed of both of the men. She saw Yale grinning. That added to her frustration. Nonetheless, she kept smiling towards that John Danziger. He had uncombed hair, or maybe that were just all those locks, she couldn't clearly see it from here. He wore simple clothes and had enormous big hands. Strong hands. She hoped he wasn't about to kill her with them.
"John, come up, there are stairs right to your left... right to your left, that was funny, wasn't it ?" he laughed his stupid laugh.
Danziger sighed. That was a day. He'd have to have a serious talk with True when it was over... Climbing the stairs, he was suddenly standing on the stage, looking at hundreds of people who were all clapping towards him. His whole walk hadn't taken longer than half a minute and he hadn't prepared himself for so many faces, looking at him, waiting what he would do.
The man came to him, reached John his hand and shook hands. Than he was pushed towards Devon Adair. At least the lady looked great. But she was an Adair nonetheless.
"Congratulations, Mr. Danziger." She said without real conviction.
"Miss Adair." He considered making a bow, but left that out. Nah, he really wouldn't bow in front of her. Everything, but not that. He gave her his hand.
To her big surprise, the hand was clean, the nails neatly cut, and his big hand didn't feel like it would kill her.
"So, John...a few words to all the people down there !!" the man grinned at him.
Danziger startled. Not enough that he had to stand here, no..... he even had to thank Adair for being able to stand here....he sought for words, didn't find any and began to get nervous. He wasn't used to so many faces staring at him. He frantically searched for a familiar one.
In the last row, apart from the rest of the mass, stood his daughter, and even from this distance, he could see her frustration. The one time in her life that she had won something, she had to give it to him.
"I want to thank my daughter True for being there for me. She's my angel. Thank you, partner." He quickly retreated from the mic and turned to Adair and the guy.
"Well, that was a nice little thingie, wasn't it?" he acted as if he wept away some tears, smiling towards John. "And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, we let those two decide what they want to eat, meanwhile we'll see another short description of the Advance!!!" A few of the people put on their gears.
John stood there, not knowing what to say. He was nervous. And he wanted to cancel this damned dinner, but he realized that there was no way around it, if he wanted to get paid for the job.
Devon nervously folded her hands. No, she told herself, she was NOT nervous. This guy was just a mechanic, so why did she feel nervous and all whirled up?
She really wanted to cancel the dinner, but there was simply no polite way she could get around it. She would just have to stand through it."So, Mr. Danziger, we'll see each other tomorrow evening. I.." she wondered if he had a smoking to wear, but she wasn't about to ask him. She'd simply dress herself not as sharp as she usually did.
"Yes." He nodded, as if he felt almost annoyed by it. She knew this kind of men. First they show absolutely no interest, then suddenly, they begin to make serious efforts in gaining a good night for themselves. She shuddered. Only Yale's strict look made her shake John Danziger's hands.
John took the hand. It seemed as if he could go now, or? Suddenly a scent of perfume waved towards him. It smelled good and made his heart jump. He looked at Adair once more. He shook his head. //Oh, John, forget it!!!//
---Aboard the Ranoake---
John stood in his tiny cabin of the Advance. He hated the terrible suit that guy of rubbish talker had given him. It was uncomfortable as hell. If only he had brought along his own. But his suit was a reminder. It had to stay home, or better in that box he had put in that storage thing. He couldn't afford the rent for his apartment for 22 years.
It was stupid anyway to rent something when you can't live in it. He had to think of this special suit. He never took it with him on a mission. It stayed home, to make sure he came back. It was the suit he wore when he had buried his grandparents, or better, had them cremated.
He couldn't remember the suit he wore when he had to bury his parents. He had been way to young to realize what was going on. His grandparents had taken care of him, but they too had died, shortly after he turned thirty. Still the suit fitted perfectly. He had not much money to afford that much food to grow further.
"Damn that stupid tie!!!"
"Dad!!!"
"Sorry, darling..." he hated to curse in front of True, but this silly tie just wouldn't do as he wanted it to...
"I should really stay in here...."
"Dad, you have to go! That stupid lady pays you..." True looked at him, forcing him to a smile. Only eleven years old and that kid understood how the world worked. Give and take. The boss is the boss. He hated the system, but right now, he desperately needed the money. It was time True got a real home, a shelter, maybe even attend a good school. With the money gained on this mission, all the depts of his grandparents would finally be paid off. A new life would be waiting for him, once he returned in 44 years. An awful long time.
"I know, True, but you know what I think of things like that. If she thinks, she can... forget it, okay, True-girl..." he still remembered the look on Adair's face when he and O'Neill had had that argument over money.
He shivered at the thought of the bomb. It could have killed them all. Could have killed True. If he ever stood face to face with those who were responsible for the bomb, he needed an Army to hold him back from killing them...
The argument was another reason not to go to the dinner with Adair; he just couldn't face her right now. He might say something after all, something he might never...
He turned to the door. Somebody was outside, knocking. And that damned tie still wasn't sitting perfectly!!!
"Yeah??" he asked, almost angry.
"It's us..."
He opened the door and in the frame stood, grinning themselves mad, Les and Alex, Alex with a bottle in her hand.
"I think you can use this..." she gave him the bottle. A bottle of synthetic wine. He might really need it.
"How did you get this one aboard?" He knew from experience that it wasn't easy to legally get alc on a ship. You had to go through several big talks with authorities. Annoying.
"Don't ask, just drink, okay?" Les patted his shoulder.
"Oh, John, look at the tie, it's completely wrong tied..." she quickly busied herself tying it right, much to the pleasure of True. She had told him the whole time he was doing it wrong, but John hadn't listened. He had been occupied too much in cursing Adair and that dinner.
John Danziger sighed. It was going to be a long evening.
"Yale, what do you think?" Devon turned towards her tutor. "Not informal enough, or?" she held some pullover over a trouser. Finding the right clothes for the dinner was hard work.
And she didn't want to go. She never wanted. The whole crazy idea was Blalock's. Ha. He knew she would have never had to have that dinner anyway. But fate had not acted like Blalock wanted. The bomb didn't kill them. And that was due to one man. John Danziger.
The man she was going to have a "date" with in less than half an hour, and she still wasn't ready. She knew they would sit in silence the whole evening. As far as she could judge him, he would try to get more money out of her, but maybe he would just try to challenge her position. Either way, she knew the evening would be a disaster.
"Devon...." Yale hide a smile. He'd never seen her like this before. The incident with the bomb had strained her. And instead of relaxing or sleeping, she had to eat with a mechanic she disliked. But of course, Devon was not about to cancel the dinner. She would never dare to show her exhaustion. And her fear.
He knew she was scared about Uly. He was in cold sleep now and would be monitored by Doctor Heller for the night. Devon wanted to be at her son's side, but she had to have that date. And she didn't trust Heller. And the fact, that Heller was the only doctor on board added to Devon's problems. She would have to trust her with Uly's life for two years. Two long years on G889, under extreme conditions, in an entirely new world, no human had ever set food upon.
It would be two difficult years, and if anything happened to Heller, they would be without a doctor at all. Yale knew Devon was troubled about this, although she hadn't had enough time to talk with him about that yet.
"Yale!!! Please..." She walked up and down, exhausted, angry and sick of it all.
She needed just one moment of peace, but somebody or something, maybe even the whole universe with every human in it had pulled together against her. No time for herself, Devon felt the heavy burden of her responsibility for the success of the Eden Project upon her shoulders."It's fine, Devon."
"Good." She took the clothes and went to the bathroom.
Devon Adair sighed. It was going to be a long evening.
John hurried down the corridor, trying not to burst into the working people. He was late and that could end embarrassing. He wondered how Adair would react. He had seen her at this stupid cocktail party she had thrown. She had completely ignored him, and to some point he was grateful for it.
Another corner right, then a turn to the left and there he was, facing the door to the small crew room where the dinner was. Taking one big breath, he entered the room, expecting Adair in an arrogant yellow dress, sitting at a table, impatiently staring at her watch, whipping her feet, a glass of champagne (the real stuff...) in front of her. Nothing of that crossed his eyes.
Instead he saw several crew members, grinning widely at his suit, making silly jokes, drinking some fake ale, and a laid table, with no Adair sitting there. He sighed. He knew she wouldn't come. It had all been some silly promise that had never planned to be kept. He was about to go back to his room, when that Cyborg approached him.
"Miss Adair will be here in a minute. Please sit down." Yale smiled at the man. He noticed the suit and could easily imagine how Devon would react. He had to warn her about it.
John sat down, eager to eat his meal, say good-bye and go back to his daughter.
Yale walked out of the door, looking for Devon, while John studied the menu."Devon, wait...." Yale hold her arm, keeping her from opening the door. "What???" she was already late and Yale made it worse. Her nerves were racked and she wanted nothing but the end of that day
"He's dressed in a suit. An expensive suit." He smiled, waiting for her face to fall, which it promptly did.
"Oh my God...." she slapping her hand against her forehead, knowing she was facing a big headache. "Yale, I gotta go back and change...I'd never thought that he could afford a suit..." she shook her head, not aware of the opening door.
Yale made the best effort to hold back his grin. Twice a day. Was this going to get routine?
"You don't need to change. What you wear is okay for me." John stated, suddenly no more in the need of visiting the restrooms.
Devon paled. //not again....// Once more she had openly insulted somebody, somebody she had thought to be not near her. And both times the person stood nearby. And both times she hadn't realized it. //Okay,// she told herself //it happened, now see that you get over with that dinner.//
"Good, then let's go." She marched by John, her head held high. If he expected an apology, he was wrong.
John grinned. It was the only thing he could do. Making Adair pale. He was quite sure nothing led an Adair pale that easily. But he had managed. Suddenly the suit seemed more comfortable than ever before.
When the unequal pair entered the room, all eyes were focused on them. Then the crew members burst out laughing, they tried to settle down, but it was of no use. All they saw was Adair in a shaggy shirt and Danziger in suit.
For Devon it was a very embarrassing situation, but she coped with it by just ignoring the laughter. She sat down at the only empty table, ignoring Danziger's intention to help her with the chair. She was independent enough to do that by herself.
They didn't talk much, just ate their meal in silence, both wanting to get back to their children. Devon's thoughts wandered towards Uly. Her only child was now lying in a cold sleep chamber, supervised by some incompetent doctor she would just have to trust. She hoped so desperately G889 would provide the cure she was searching so frantically for to save her son's life.
John looked up. If Adair went on eating at that speed, they'd be sitting here tomorrow. She just picked at her food, her eyes staring into nothing, her thoughts millions of miles away. Or just a few corridors, resting on her son. He knew that the boy, Uly was his name, as far as he remembered, had the Syndrome and would die within the next year, if G889 couldn't heal him.
He knew what it felt like to fear the loss of a child. He had almost lost True, before she had even been born. But he couldn't imagine all the frustrating days and nights, seeing a child die. It could only be hell to go through this.
"Hey, you should eat something. After all you've been through and all you're going to have to get through, you need it."
She looked up too, surprised by his concern for her wellbeing. "I'm okay." she said though, not wanting anyone to care for her.
"Sure. I can see it." He stated, taking another fork of the vegetables. He remained silent for a time and she fell back to her absence.
Out of nothing, he began talking again. "It must be horrible to know your child is dying."
"Yeah...." she answered, not completely aware of it. "It's like a waterdrop hanging on a facet, falling down every second. And you can't hold it back from falling down. But you see it slowly loosening, until only one small piece of it holds to the faucet."
"And then, before you had enough time appreciating the brightness of the drop, before you were able to see all the sides of it, enjoy the great moments, he will have disappeared. Will be gone forever and I will never have the chance to see my boy grow up." She still was miles away, in a different world, not aware she was actually talking to John Danziger.
He covered her hand with his, gently scrubbing it. Suddenly she was back in the room, looking down at her hand, realizing _he_ was holding it.
"I'm sorry, I didn't want to...I..." she didn't know what to say. Never before had she lost control of her emotions like seconds ago.
"It's okay. I don't mind." He was suddenly aware that Adair was only human, too, even though she did a great job of hiding it.
"I'm sorry about what I said earlier. About the suit..." she didn't look at him, but somehow she felt like she owed him an apology after all.
"Already forgotten." he smiled at her. "Actually, the suit is only lend. I will have to return it to that guy who talked all that rubbish."
"Harmeern..." she laughed. "Yeah, I thought he'd never end his silly jokes..."
He joined her laughing. Suddenly he enjoyed sitting here. And the scent of Adair was really nice.
"You do have a daughter, or ?"
"Yes, her name is True and she..."
"...is your angel..." she remembered what he had said about her back on the station.
"Yeah...." he smiled "She indeed is my angel."
Devon nodded. "She seems to be a nice kid. I just wish..."
"That your son had the same chance like she has..."
"Yes..." she sounded sad.
"He has, Adair. G889 will give him this chance." He led off her hand and leaned back into the chair.
Devon was startled by the way he pronounced her name. Somehow she liked it. Adair. Nobody had ever dared to simply call her Adair. And yet it wasn't like she was offended by John Danziger saying it. It sounded right, felt much better.
More comforting and yet challenging then Miss Adair."That's all I can hope for..." she suddenly felt the old fear creeping up again.
John saw her shivering. It wasn't that bad after all. Maybe it was the content of the bottle Les had given him to drink that made him feel dizzy now, or maybe it was another wave of Adair's perfume, or it were all those stars that were rushing by. However, John felt like he had to comfort Adair now. "Hey, what about a Scotch on the rocks?" he asked her, not sure if she drank alcohol at all.
Devon looked up. "You like that? A Scotch on the rocks is one of my favorites, too."
"Really?" he didn't believe her.
"Oh, yes." She turned around, searching the room for Yale. "Yale, can you get the Scotch from our room?"
"The real stuff????" Danziger's eyes grew wide.
"Yes." Devon said, a small hint of proud in her voice.
John grinned. True had won him a _real_ Scotch.
"Dad!!!! Stand up!!!!!" True took away his cover.
"Only five minutes..." he turned back to the wall, his head hurting. The Scotch had not been the only thing he and Devon Adair had drunk that evening. Well, Devon had stopped after the Scotch, but he had continued. And now today punished him.
"We have to be in the cold sleep area in half an hour, Dad!!!" she was impatient, wanted to go now and have a look at the capsule she was going to lie in, before she had to trust this thing with her life. He always did that.
"I'm on my way, honey...." he sat up. The room slightly turned in front of his eyes. He couldn't remember much of the evening before. Only that he had _not_ killed Adair, as he feared he could do, before he went to the dinner. He thought that he had liked the dinner, but wasn't completely sure of it. Well, it didn't matter. He was not going to see Adair again after she had set food on G889.
Devon sat next to Uly, trying to clear the mess in her mind. She couldn't forget John Danziger, couldn't forget the way his lips had tasted when he had kissed her. John Danziger had kissed her. And she had let him. But he had been really drunk, and she knew from experience that he wouldn't remember the kiss.
But she couldn't forget it. Over and over she saw him leaning towards her, feeling his lips over hers. She had to bring him to his tiny room, because he couldn't walk alone. They had had a lot of fun. But Devon was glad that he was not going to the surface of G889. It would only mean trouble. Yet, she asked herself how long she would remember the sweet sensation that had floated through her with the kiss.
John rushed into the evac pod, True crying in his arms, scared as hell. He wished he could keep the horror away from his daughter, but it was too late. He jumped into a seat, taking True on his hip, belting himself and her to the seat. He had no time to look around, couldn't make any of the faces out.
But Devon could. She saw him entering, saw him carrying his daughter, saw him crashing into the seat, saw his scared face and the crying child on his hip. She turned to Uly, grabbed his hand and tried to get the one thought out of her mind, the one that just wouldn't go away... //I'll be stuck with John Danziger....//
-The End-
Or better, the beginning of it all ;-)
Hope you enjoyed it!
Comments are highly welcome, send them to enigmaticalien@swol.deManuela :-)
This text file was ran through PERL script made by Andy. Original text file is available in Andy's Earth 2 Fan Fiction Archive.