A NEW LIFE
By
Manuela Schuppe
Timeline: After "Enemy within" (Day 49)
Author's E-Mail: Wolfgang.Stenzel@t-online.de
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Hi once more :)Here it is...the long promised J/A-story :)
Infinite thanks go to Monica for reading and correcting this story, as well as the "Brave The Future" story
Set within Redemption
Earth 2 and it's characters belong to Amblin Entertainment
Friendship is the shadow at evening, it grows until the sun of life sets.
Jean De Lafontaine
A New Life
By Manuela Schuppe
It was a bright afternoon, the birds singing joyfully in the trees around her. She wished she was one of them. Able to fly away, just take off and leave all this behind. But she couldn't. She had to stay here, immobile as she was. Where could she go anyway? She had no option left.
Of course, she could just walk behind them, try to follow them and maybe get so close she would be able to talk with them. They hadn't taken her gear, so she could call for Reilly's help. But she would never do that. She deserved better than him. She hated herself for what she had done, but she hated her mother now more than ever. How could a mother be able to give her child a life like this? What kind of mother was that, who just enhanced her child for something...she wished so much she was a normal person, not enhanced, made out of *love* and not because the Council wanted somebody like her...it was a depressing thought and Julia felt so worthless, so unimportant for she was only made, not really wanted...she had always felt this way, her parents had never paid her much attention, she had lived her life alone. That was why she didn't easily trust people. And that fact was the reason for all this mess she was now in, the reason for all the pain she had to suffer through right now.
She should have trusted them. Could have trusted at least Devon. Devon had deserved this trust, but Julia hadn't taken the hand she was given. If only she had told Devon all what she knew...what had kept her from telling it all? She didn't know...there were so many reasons to tell her, but she couldn't think of one real reason not to do. The last days had been a real nightmare...she had felt so good at times when there was that Terrian DNA in her, and so fuzzy, dizzy and confused when it wasn't.
And then this thing with Alonzo...she now could remember and she knew what pain he had felt when he found out she couldn't remember their first night together...how could she have hurt him so badly...? How could she forget something as wonderful as what they had shared that night???
She didn't know and she felt so embarressed about that.
She wished she could turn back the time, to make all the things undone, to be able to tell Devon who Reilly was...she shivered when she thought that she had been able to throw Devon off a cliff. That wasn't her, that couldn't be her...wasn't she made to save life and not to destroy it??? How had she been able to do something as cruel and wrong as that???
She would do so many things different if she had the chance to... maybe tell Alonzo how she really felt...she was sure, he didn't believe she really felt something for him after the look he gave her back in the tent...and otherwise he wouldn't have gone away. Perhaps he thought that she only pretended her feelings, to spy or whatever.
She had never really spied on them...she had revealled no information of great worth to Reilly and she had saved Uly and had only protected them from him. She didn't want to go to Reilly, she'd rather die than do that.
She would just sit in these bushes for the rest of her life.
She could not possibly walk after them all alone, there were too many dangers out there and she had no water and no food, they had left her nothing but a tent and a cot and a blanked...and they wouldn't be very pleased if she showed up without these things, for they wouldn't want her back anyway.
She had seen the look on Bess' angry face. It had told her what she had done, what damage she had done to the group's development of growing together. But still, they could have given her a second chance ...would it have been that bad to wait some hours, to give her time to think about all that had happened? Didn't she deserve at least as much as that ? Some time to realize her mistakes, some time to give the group some rest, to give herself some rest...maybe she wouldn't be alone now if they had given her more time than they actually had.
But all the maybes didn't bring her back to the group.
She didn't see anything that made her life worth living, but still she didn't want to die. There was always hope, somehow she'd manage that....maybe set out after them tomorrow...maybe they would give her a second chance...she needed one so badly...
He drove as fast as the ATV allowed. He felt so bad about leaving her completely alone. He hoped she would forgive him. It had been a really fast desicion and he regretted taking part in the discussion, even though he had left as soon as Morgan first announced the idea of leaving her behind. He had glared at him and then went. He had paced around the tent she was in. Wondering if she would speak with him. But he just hadn't felt like looking at her false face. Maybe he didn't mean anything to her, like Morgan had put it, but he knew better. She needed him, and this was none of the macho feelings he had had earlier with other women. There he had felt like it was his job to protect them, to not let the women do something on their own. He still felt like he needed to protect Julia, but it was another kind of feeling, it was a respectful feeling, more grown, wiser. She needed him now because she needed a friend. Someone who helped her to explain everything to them, to stand by her side and hold her hand and help her through these hours. He had messed up many things in his life himself but he had always been given a chance to prove himself, to make up for the mistakes he had done. Therefor he knew Julia deserved this chance, too and if the others were too stubborn to see that themselves, well than it was up to him to make them see, to make them understand Julia was not just a spy for whoever, but a human being, someone who had made a mistake and had already paid for it. He would bring her back and face their mistrusting faces. Look into their eyes and hold the look as long as it needed for some of them to bow their head first and realize what they had done to her. Being alone on this planet was the worst that could happend to someone. And he knew that it could change people. It had changed him a lot. In these hours where he had lain in the sand, unconscious and his legs still broken it had come to him, that his life was much more than jumping from planet to planet.
There were so many things he was grateful of.
And his legs were healed due to Julia. He couldn't just let her die out there. No matter how often Devon had tried to assure him she'd somehow manage it, he knew that that wasn't true. Julia wasn't Gaal. She wouldn't kill for survival. And as soon as the first Grendler found out she was alone...it would be over, they would take all that was left. And without a tent Julia wouldn't live any longer. He was sure she'd be alone. He didn't think she would contact that guy, whoever he was, she had ended that part of her life. She had loosened all ties with this guy. Oh..help him God, if he ever tried to influence Julia again, he'd beat him up pretty good. Nobody did that to Julia, not to anyone...he'd do the same thing for Devon or Bess or Denner, Eden or Magus. He would just bring her back. They had enough time to prepare for that. He had talked to Danziger brielfy after their lunch break. He hadn't liked leaving Julia behind very much, too, but he hadn't protested either. But Alonzo was sure he would give Julia a chance to prove herself. Danziger wasn't stupid. He knew they wouldn't come very far without a doctor and he wanted to have a doctor in case anything evern happend to his little daughter. But it wasn't just this that would make Danziger listen to her. John had tried to calm Julia when they had done this stupid test her, which had been a complete disaster. If only they had let him to talk to her...maybe the whole thing would have gone better.
But that didn't matter now. All that mattered was getting fast to Julia. He stepped on the gass.
It was dark. And she was scared to death. She had never been alone like this. She suddenly knew she wouldn't make it through this night. She was still sitting in the bushes. It was cold and she had this permanent shiver that made her feel so bad. She had her gear on, still undecided if she should really do this. Maybe nobody would ever hear it aynway. But perhaps it then would be less painful to die, knowing that she had explained it all to Eden Advance. Althought the chances were low that they would ever get to hear this. In the distance she had heard Grendlers and she was sure that as soon as they found her dead body they'd take everything she had. She put on the gear, trying to ignore the darkness around her. She even put on visual. But still it would only record her message.
She looked straight into the cameras and began without any hesitation. She would do this fast and painless. At least she would try it this way. But she couldn't. These were her friends and she had misused their friendship.
"I'm sorry for what I have done. Maybe you don't believe this now. Maybe you won't even listen to what I have to say, but I have to say this now." she paused, looking at a distant point somwhere behind the cameras, a point that didn't really exist.
"But first off all I want to apologize to Bess and Morgan for everything I have done to you both, I'm sorry....I didn't know what I actually did to you, Morgan, at least not until I found myself in a similar position...I didn't know what it is like to be alone in these forests, where there are thousand of sounds that make you shiver with fear...how scared you must have been...I'm so sorry." She tried to be brave and changed the subject. "But now I'd like to explain, who I am... I don't know how long I'll live here and I don't know if any of you get to hear this, but I hope you have the chance to listen to it....
My mother got involved with the Council when she was still very young, younger than I am today. It meant everything to her, she lived for it and quickly made her way up to the top. Then the Council decided she would have to get pregnant. And she became pregnant. From some guy who was killed afterwards, as far as I know. I was an experiment. They enhanced me, gave me medical skills and they cut away all emotions...or so they thought. From my first day I was taught to be loyal to the Council, not to criticize it in any way, believe everything they tell me and since I was never allowed to play with other children my age, I had no idea that there could be another way of life, other than what the Council gave me, and these ideas were as wrong as anything can be. I realize this now. Too late." She held back her tears, trying to keep a straight face and not show them how much they had hurt her. "I was assigned to the Eden Project as soon as Devon's idea came up. I didn't like this very much, but there was simply no way to protest... you all know what they do with somone that doesn't do what the Council wants...you would find them floading in the Mississippi if that river still existed....I don't want any compassion...I should have protested, but it is too late now.
I was told that a Council member named Reilly, no other name, is on this planet, surveying it. I had no idea we weren't alone here, I know as less as you about the Terrians, Kobas or Grendlers. They didn't inform me 'cauz it would have been of no use to them, since I...you all and I ...were supposed to die in the crash..." she paused again, her eyes getting wet now.
"I contacted him a few times, but I never told him our position. He wanted me to take out Uly's pineal gland. I lied to him to save Uly's life. I told him Uly didn't have one, due to the change of his DNA. Reilly wasn't satisfied. He wants Uly, and Devon...please, make sure that he never gets him, please. Reilly wanted a link between the humans and Terrians, a controlled link, I told him I would do it, but I needed some of Uly's DNA, that is why I took some of his spinal fluid. You can all find that in my medical reports on gear....here are also a few notes about Reilly. I don't know where he exactly is and I don't know if there are more than one. I hope not." She put the gear out. But then she put it on again and adressed Alonzo. "Alonzo, I'm so sorry for what I've done, that I forgot what had happened. I should have never forgotten that. It was something special and I just...just couldn't remember it....I feel so bad about this, I wish so much ...I had a chance to do it all better." She cried. "I have no idea what pain I must have caused among you all. Bess, I hope so desperately Morgan is okay and I'm so sorry for making you so worried. I'll....I'll never forget the pain that was in your eyes, the hate. Maybe I deserve being hated by you. Maybe I really deserve this. And maybe I deserve it to die here alone..." she put it out and stored the message without a code. The first person putting the gear on again, would get to see and hear this.
Julia laid the gear away, crying hard. She felt so alone. After half an hour of desperate crying she tried to get herself under control, tried to get up from these bushes but she couldn't...she felt so weak.
A distant noise rose her attention. She looked into the dark, trying to see something. She sobbed again. Then the noise came closer, it sounded like the ATV. She had Hallucinations. It was too early for this. She could impossibly be dehydrated yet. But she had to be. That couldn't be the ATV. Then a light blinded her. She closed her eyes. When she opened them again and her eyes had adjusted to the darkness she could see Alonzo, getting a MagPro out of the ATV. She held her breath. What did he want? Had he actually come back for her ???
"Julia." She looked at him. He still hadn't seen her. "Julia? Julia..." he walked around, looking into the tent. "Where are you ????" he said more to himself. "JULIA !!!!!!!" he yelled "Where are you ???" she slightly moved. That caught his attention. He approached her, laid down the MagPro and helped her up. She leaned against him.
"It's okay..." he assured her, stroking her back, holding her close to him. She cried. It hurt to see her like this. "I should have come earlier...I shouldn't have gone away...I'm so sorry..." he tried to look into her eyes, but she wouldn't let him. They sat at a little fire he had made a few seconds ago. It didn't provide much light and warmths but it gave her a feeling of protection. "Why did you come back?" she quietly asked, sobbing and still holding her head down, afraid to look at him.
"I need you...I need you more than I ever needed anyone. You mean so much to me and I don't care what they say because I can't believe you're so bad." He took her hand and stroke it.
"But what tells you that you can trust me ?" "I just know it, because I know you. You wouldn't be able to harm any of us seriously." She looked at him.
"Do you really think so, after all I did to you?" "Yes." He was suddenly very sure of what he felt and he knew now that he had been right. Julia was someone you could trust with your life. "I can remember ...it." she slowly stopped her sobbing. He grinned. " I *knew* you couldn't forget *that*! Come here." he waved her closer.
She followed his wave and sat in front of him. He wrapped his arms around her. "Thank you." she whispered.
"I love you Julia."
That puzzeld her. She backed away a bit. "Hey, what is it?"
"No...nothing...I'm...I'm just scared...that you will hurt me again....I'm too scared to trust you." She knew this would sound stupid out of her mouth. He was the one who could say this, but not she. "Don't be...I won't leave you again. You can trust me. Just as I trust you." "I don't deserve that."
"Oh, yes...You do. I'm going to take you back. And no one can stop me." He grinned. She tried to smile. And she leaned back against him. He wrapped his arms around her and rocked her like a little kid"Are you okay now ?" he searched her eyes. "Yes." She nodded, smiling at him.
"Then we should get going. They are waiting. For us." He stood up and reached his hand for her to take it. She took it. Together they put down her tent and packed it onto the ATV. It was still dark, and would be for another two or three hours. Alonzo was already sitting in the ATV when Julia remembered something.
"I need a flashlight." She told him.
"You lost something ?" he looked at her. She seemed nervous. What was it? "Yes. Something that is...something I want to give Devon...." she was anxious to find it."Okay, then we'll go searching. Do you know where you could have lost it." "Yes." She remembered it too well. Remembered how she had hunted True. The poor girl. How scared she must have been. And then Julia had plunged and the contact had fallen out of her pocket. She led Alonzo to the place. The contact was still there. She picked it up and gave it Alonzo. He looked at it, then at her. "That's the contact, I want to give it to them, maybe it helps them to believe I'm not going to do it again, maybe they believe then that I regret what I've done. Maybe they can forgive me..." "They will...you only have to trust us and tell us everything you know... and now come." He led her back to the ATV.
She was there before him, climbing onto the bar. He stumbled over something and looked down. It was a gear. He picked it up. Julia must have forgotten it here.
He put it into his pocket.
"We'll be there in about ten minutes...do you wanna have a break?" "No..let's drive through." She was nervous. How would they react seeing her again? Would Bess yell at her again? Would Devon listen to Alonzo? Would Morgan want her tied all day? What would True do, run and hide? There were so many questions. So many things she was scared of. It would be very hard. She knew that. But at least she had Alonzo to stand by her, to help her through the first hard weeks. Weeks would be full of mistrust and accusations.
She wondered if people would want to be treated by her if neccessary. "Okay, hey...don't worry...they won't kill you." he smiled. She couldn't see it for she was sitting higher then he on this uncomfortable bar but she felt better nontheless.
Alonzo got out of the ATV and approached the waiting group. They were all looking at Julia, mistrust and dislike clearly written on their faces. Julia climbed down from her bar. She didn't look at them, fearing their accusing glanzes towards er. She wanted to cry, to scream that she was sorry, but she knew Alonzo was right. It was better to be quiet some days and let them consider their situation. With the time they would perhaps stop these looks. They were not the most pleasant but Julia could understand them all. She knew what they felt. She had been betrayed too many times herself.
Alonzo reached Devon.
Julia took the little piece of metal from Devon. She looked at it. It had caused so much trouble and still it had helped her to become a better person, to understand who she was. And it had helped them all. It was a symbol for her old life and by throwing it away she would forget her past. At least the part of her past she didn't like. Julia went to the edge of the cliff and threw it away...as far as she could. She turned around and walked back to her friends. A smile crept over Devon's face. It was over. As Julia came closer, Devon opened her arms and welcomed her back.
"I'm so sorry for what I've done to Uly." Julia looked into Devon's eyes. "I know that. But perhaps you should talk to Uly. I explained it to him but I think he wants to hear it from you, too. Will you do me this favor?" It was not an order, it was a request. Julia nodded. Then she and Devon embraced. "Friends?" Devon asked.
"Forever." Julia smiled at her.
Alonzo took his gear and laid it on the table next to another gear. Then he took off his jacket and walked out of the tent to search for Devon.
True was playing with some tool, throwing it from one hand to the other. She didn't pay attention to what she was doing. True was thinking about what had appened the last days. When Julia had run after her she hadn't been scared. She had been too focused on getting back to the camp to feel fear. But later, in the night she had had nightmares. She hadn't told that too her dad. Julia had been after her, only that she had been faster in the dream. She had caught her and brught her to this man. And now Julia was back. She knew Julia had done bad things with Uly and that she had lied to the others. But she didn't know why. But she saw that her father, Alonzo and Devon talked to Julia again. Her dad had almost died, like Alonzo and Yale and Julia had saved them all. That made up for part of the things she had done to her.
"True?"
True startled. She tried to calm down her breathing. Then she turned around. Julia stood in front of her, her left arm still in a sling. "I'd like to talk to you." Julia was nervous. "Can I sit down?" True eyed her suspicously. "You're going to stay with us again?" Julia waited some seconds before she answered. "Yes." "Do you still want to take me to that man?" she had to be sure about that. Not that Julia came into her tent in he night and carried her away. "I never wanted to do that. All I wanted was to talk to you." She hoped True would understand.
"So you didn't intend to hurt me?"
"No. But I did, didn't I?" she could see how scared True still was. True looked away. "No." She snapped.
"I scared you, didn't I?"
True didn't answer.
"I'm so sorry for that, True. I really didn't want to do that." "Then why did you do it?"
Julia sighed. It was more difficult to explain all this to a kid. "I wasn't in control of what I was doing. I wasn't thinking clearely. I didn't realize that I could be scaring you. I was messed up. I couldn't remember what I had done to Morgan and I was scared that you would tell the others that I had been talking to some stranger in VR. I only wanted to talk to you, to tell you that you needn't tell the others..." she paused, considering what else she could tell True to explain why she had acted so wrong. "Julia?" True adressed her.
"Yes?" she was curious what would come now. "I'm glad you're back."
"Really?" Julia was surprised.
"Yes. Without you we would have all died. My dad would have died." "Thanks, True. I'm glad you're not angry with me any more." "Just remember that I'm always there and now you have to excuse me 'cauz I have a lot to do." she stood up and walked away, her head held up. Julia laughed. It was obvious whose child she was."Julia." Bess stood suddenly next to her. But something had changed. She didn't look angry anymore. No, she seemed to be sorry, too. "Bess..." Julia stood up and faced her. "I seem to have gotten your gear instead of mine. I'm sorry." she handed Julia the gear in her hand, smiled at Julia and then walked away. Julia at first didn't realize what had caused the sudden change. But then she remembered *what* was stored on it. "Bess, wait, please..." she ran after her. "You listened to it..." Bess stopped and turned around. "Yes....I'm sorry, I didn't want to...I didn't realize it was your gear...I thought it was mine." "That's okay...I only thought...that..well...I ...I am truely sorry." "I know. I'm only glad we've settled all that." "Me too." They both smiled.
"So you and Alonzo finally are together..huh?" Bess grinned. "Bess...you tell anyone what you heard on gear...." she laughed "Don't worry...I won't ...was he good?" Bess couldn't help but laugh out loud. Julia snickered. "Maybe..."
"Hey, I thought I *was* good." Out of nowhere Alonzo joined the two. "Or do I need to show you again???"
While Bess only laughed, Julia blushed. "Guys, I'd better leave you alone now." Bess walked away, still laughing. "And?" Alonzo looked at her.
"What?"
"Do I need to prove it again?"
"No, but I'd be glad if you did."
"So come along, my little red rose..." Alonzo grinned at the fading red in Julia's face, ready to take her to his tent. "Julia...help me...Julia...I cut myself....I'm bleeding to death" Morgan came running towards them.~Oh please...not now !!!!~ Julia sighed.
-The End-
Send all comments (and I mean all *S*) to wolfgang.stenzel@t-online.de
Thanks for your attention *BG*
Manuela :)
This text file was ran through PERL script made by Andy. Original text file is available in Andy's Earth 2 Fan Fiction Archive.