Andy's Fan-Fiction Archive

DEVON ALONE V
THE DREAM, THE DARK, AND THE LIGHT
By
Nicole Mayer

Timeline: After "All About Eve" (Day 150)
Author's E-Mail: destiny@bluesky.net.au

AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Well, it's finally here. It's finally done. The entire saga. 65 000 words, which officially makes it the longest, continuing piece I have ever written. (I *will* get that novel done someday!) Subsequently, this is a long introduction so please bear with me.
This, the fifth part, is quite different from the rest. Most of it can be read without knowing the back story as I have attempted to re-explain significant ideas. (Well, it has been a while since the last part of this was posted!) "The Dream, the Dark and the Light" offers a change of focus from part IV, and yes, Julia finally puts in an appearance!
***For those of you who receive mail through html-based programs, this story contains bracketed text that will not show up on the screen. To avoid this problem, I recommend saving this to a text file before reading. ***
If you've missed any previous parts, they can be found on my web site :
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Vault/8356/fanfic.htm
or you can email me for them. NOTE : Let me know if you can handle attachments if you choose this option!
Previous instalments in "Devon, Alone" :
I - The Shattering of the Dream (NC-17 rated) II - Gathering the Fragments (NC-17 rated) III - A Fragile Existence
IV - The Legacy of Tears
Thank you to Sue Sadler, for putting up with my many questions and finding the time to give me detailed feedback. Without her help, several scenes would never have made it into this part or the entire series. Thanks, Sue!
Special thanks also to Robin Carter, for editing this part and being 'picky' (but in a good way!) Her help is greatly appreciated.
Thank you also to everyone who has written to me about this saga, especially Alvar, Janice, Becky, Kathleen, Ellie, Mary, Ashley, Carol, Erik, Nancy, Michael; and the TQ and Deb for answering my "Emergency Question"! (Yes, you will finally find out why I was asking about people fitting underneath the transrover <g>).
The wonderful feedback from everyone - and in many cases, the suggestions and ideas - have helped shape "Devon, Alone" into something far beyond what was originally envisioned. And I had a wonderful time writing it. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!
DISCLAIMER : The characters and situations contained within are the property of Universal/Amblin Entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended.
Whew! Now that you've made it through the intro, on to the story...

DEVON, ALONE Part V
The Dream, the Dark, and the Light (1/11)
by Nicole Mayer. (destiny@wwdg.com)
30 May 1997
Through the murky depths of neverending darkness, there is a sound. A slow, dull hiss, an eerie noise that sends chills throughout my body. It haunts me. It reminds me of something awful, something so dreadful that even *my* memories elude me at the moment. Perhaps I should be grateful for this.
The world is grey now, and I am so terribly sleepy. That noise - that incessant noise - how I wish it would go away. It disturbs my sanctuary of emptiness. I feel as if I am floating through the mysteries of time, an endless presence comforted by the darkness that does not let go.
How long have I been here? I do not know. All I know is that this is my entire life, and has been for as long as I can remember. Floating in nothing, it is the calming absence of everything. I do not even know my own name.
Suddenly, I feel compelled to open my eyes. There is a light, a brilliant, blinding light that pierces through the murky glass before me. I try to lift my hand, to touch that glass, but my arms will not obey. Instead, I concentrate on that strange, confining wall, and watch the rivers of melted ice lazily trace their way down.
With a start, I realise that my heart has begun beating. I did not even realise that it had stopped, but now, now that I am beginning to live again, I wonder how I ever survived without its comforting presence. I exhale, appreciating the wonderful hum of life that is beginning to pour through my body. I am awakening.
What am I waking from? There are too many conflicting images that dart before me, I cannot sort them all out! Flashes of a grim, dark place, flashes of laughter. Two vastly different worlds, yet attached to both, there is a pain. It scares me.
A mist seems to be descending over my body. My body. It does not seem right that I have one - not after so long in the darkness. The murky, cold air begins to swirl as a new breeze breaks through the walls of my coffin. I breathe it in, marvelling at the sensation of being alive. The smells are wonderful - fresh, pure, clean, they promise a wonderful life free from confinement and horrifying metal.
"Devon!" I hear a voice. I gasp. That is my name! And the voice calling it... I cry out as the memories begin to flood back. I am Devon Adair. My life was due to end. Yet here I am, awakening from something terrible.
Now I can make sense of the images, and a different picture punctuates every faltering breath I take. The Stations. Blalock. The Program. My G889. Kassidy Quinn. John Danziger. Everyone whom I loved twisted in some cruel, unfeeling way. Until events escalated into one cataclysmic confrontation...and then...then...
Where am I?
"Devon," I hear the voice again. It is Julia. Julia! Julia - I thought I had lost her forever! Julia...if she is here...then I must be on G889...
"Devon, hold on. I found a cure for your illness, you're going to be alright..." Her words are like a message from an angel. Perhaps Julia is an angel, an angel of light and mercy who has saved me from this world of darkness.
Oh my God, it was a dream.
I fall forward as the door of my coffin finally slides away, yet this time, there are reassuring arms to catch me. Julia, Alonzo...I feel like shrieking with happiness. They are here! And John - *my* John, not the twisted version from my nightmares.
"Devon," he says, caressing my hair and staring at me with what I know to be love in his eyes. "You're gonna be okay. Just stay with me, you can do it..."
He lifts me up, his arms strong and comforting around my cold body, and gently rests me on a bench. Alonzo supports my head, for I am still very weak yet I rejoice in the feeling, for I am not alone. I struggle to make sense of my thoughts. I feel as if I have been gone from G889 for many months.
What is the last thing I recall from here? We were sick, and dying, and how terrible that all seemed. But now it pales in comparison to my personal ordeal on the stations. Within the nightmare.
The dream was *so* real! I feel Julia inject something into my arm, and the hiss reassures me that she knows what she is doing. The last time I was consciously here, in this world, *I* was dying. Carefully, I examine my senses for traces of the devastating pain. It lingers, and my lungs still refuse to draw in regular breaths, but I do not care. I am confident that Julia will save me, and even if she cannot, anything is better than the nightmare world of the Stations.
"Mom?"
"ULY!" I struggle to shout. Uly, my baby, is here, he is alive! I twist my head to look at him, he is so healthy. And real. They are all real, every single one of them. I love them all.
I feel someone take my hand, and smile. The sensation of touch was gone from my life for so long. I was alone, I was an outcast in a society that didn't even care about my existence.
The logical, rational part of my mind is beginning to analyse my dream. I can understand it perfectly, for in the physical world, I was locked away from my friends. I was gone from their lives, and I was alone.
And Council paranoia had run rampant through our small group only hours before my collapse. It makes sense that my confused dreams were amalgamated of these two images, the evil and the terrible aloneness.
I smile, feeling pure relief pour through my body. There is nothing sweeter than waking from a terrifying nightmare, and this nightmare was prolonged by the agonies of cold sleep. I wonder how long have I been away? I recall months on the stations of confusion and terror, yet looking at my friends now, they do not seem to have aged.
John is holding my hand, and he is smiling fondly down at me. I warily try to return the smile, for there is a lingering dream sense attached to his presence. The memory of the other Danziger has tainted my recollections of him, and I fear it will take time for me to trust him again.
Julia's diaglove obscures my vision for a moment. Alonzo asks her a question, his voice full of apprehension.
"Diagnosis, doc?"
"It looks good," replies Julia, the relief in her voice evident. "I'm getting clear readings all over."
There is a subdued cheer throughout the room. Every moment, I feel pain diminishing and scurrying away, as if it never existed. I sigh happily, for this is a more wonderful homecoming than I had ever dreamed possible.
John leans down, to whisper something in my ear. "I missed you," he says tenderly. Then he straightens. "Welcome back, Adair."
Welcome back...to my life. I will never be alone again.

Devon lay in the med-tent, still shocked by her return. After all she had been through, every heartache, every horror - it was a nightmare she would never forget. It haunted her. And as she looked around at the bright world of G889 - real sunlight, natural air, she felt as if she had finally come home. But it would be a long time before she would trust anything again.
Julia was hovering by her, but there was really no need. Devon was feeling absolutely fine. Well, perhaps not as fit and healthy as she once had been (there was still that dull ache in her head, a result of the cold sleep, Julia assured her) but Devon didn't care. She knew she would be fine, and there was no stopping Devon Adair once she had decided on something.
What bothered her now was not her physical well-being, but her thoughts. There was so much to think about, and so many joys to take delight in. She couldn't wait to see Uly again and hold him in her arms. The time on the stations, the nightmare, had been cold and lonely. She missed him so much.
But he was outside now, alive, and playing with True. He laughed and it was music to Devon's ears. He was her son, and he was real.
<Stop thinking that,> she chided herself, but Blalock's words eerily haunted her, mocking that Ulysses was nothing more than an image. Devon squeezed her eyes shut hoping to block out the memories, but the darkness only brought more sad thoughts. She snapped her eyes open and instead looked at Julia.
Julia. Her friend, perhaps the closest friend Devon Adair had ever had. Julia meant a lot to her, and life without her as a friend had been empty and cold. Devon vowed to let Julia know this soon. But not now, now was a time for healing and believing in a miracle.
"You're going to be fine," pronounced Julia again. "I feel so bad that we had to put you through this. If only I'd..." She broke off, and flushed a deep red.
"Julia, what is it?" asked Devon. The doctor's eyes jumped nervously around the tent.
"It's my fault!" she finally burst out. "You were having an allergic reaction to some of the pollen in the air - something we hadn't yet been exposed to."
Devon nodded, eager to hear the cause of her illness. She could understand the reasons behind this, it was spring, and every day the colonists had encountered some new kind of plant or flower. "How does that make it your fault?" Devon asked hesitantly.
Julia opened her mouth to speak. "You were dying. I couldn't find anything wrong with you. And do you know why? I was depending on the diaglove."
"And it was malfunctioning," suddenly broke in Devon, surprising herself. How could she have possibly known that? Devon saw the startled confirmation on Julia's face.
"You're right, sand had penetrated its inner circuits. I forgot to regularly check it," Julia admitted.
Outrage momentarily surged inside Devon. If only Julia had been more careful...then Devon would have never gone through all that pain! But just as quickly as the anger came, it passed. On the stations, dirt in equipment was never a problem, and it was the stations that had shaped everyone's lives. She couldn't blame Julia.
"I'm so sorry, Devon," Julia apologised. "I shouldn't have relied on my diaglove so much - I'm a doctor! I should be able to tell when a patient is having an allergic reaction. I shouldn't be depending on my medical equipment to tell me what my eyes can!"
"Julia, it's alright," Devon said calmly. Inside she wasn't so calm, but she was going to do everything she could to allow her life to get back to normal and erase the past horror.
"But you didn't deserve to go through that," Julia said contritely. "You almost died, and it was my fault. And then we put you in cold sleep for two weeks, two weeks that weren't even necessary."
<It felt a lot longer than two weeks> thought Devon. <It was months...> She quickly quelled the thought. "Those weeks gave you the time to find a cure, though," reminded Devon.
"That was nothing," sighed Julia. "Once I knew what the problem was, synthesising an antidote was no trouble at all. No, this is my fault and I hope you can forgive me."
Devon smiled warmly. How could she not forgive Julia? The doctor had brought her home. "It's already forgotten," Devon promised. "So we had a short stopover on our way to New Pacifica, but that's not going to change anything. We'll get there, and we'll do it together."
Obviously relieved, Julia smiled back. She ran one more scan over Devon's body. "You shouldn't have any more problems, even if that pollen permeates every part of the air."
"Good. So how soon can I get up?" Devon was itching to go outside, to run free through the huge plains and laugh in the real sunlight.
"Soon," Julia promised. "Your reaction to cold sleep in your weakened condition wasn't good. You told me you had bad dreams?" Devon nodded. "That's one of the factors I'm talking about, and the cryo chambers were old. It wasn't the best thing to do for a patient. Or a friend."
"But you saved my life," reminded Devon. "Thank you."
Julia brushed aside the praise, and straightened up her medical equipment. "Rest a while longer," she directed. "I should be going, I think there's a certain mechanic who's very anxious to talk to you..." There was more than a hint of mischief in Julia's voice as she began to walk out, but Devon's hand on her arm stopped her.
"Don't go."
"What?"
"Don't go, don't leave me alone with him..." Devon's voice was low, urgent, and desperate. She couldn't explain the sudden avalanche of feelings that had descended upon her at the mention of John Danziger. Anger, hurt, betrayal, embarrassment, and even a sense of fear that stemmed from the Danziger who wasn't.
"But Devon..." began Julia, worried about her patient again. "You and John were so close, I can't understand what..."
"Please, Julia," Devon said firmly, but there was a pleading in her voice, "tell him I can't see anyone just yet. Tell him I need more time to recover. Tell him anything, I just - can't face him right now."
Julia's expression was dubious, but she conceded to Devon's wishes. "Alright, I'll tell him, but he's not going to like it. That man cares for you a lot."
Devon nodded, but she couldn't quite believe it anymore. <He didn't trust me>
<He walked out on me>
<He betrayed me>
<He wasn't there when I needed him the most> Devon had been through so much anguish and heartache, and she had changed. She didn't think she could ever trust John Danziger again.

DEVON, ALONE Part V
The Dream, the Dark, and the Light (2/11)
by Nicole Mayer. (destiny@wwdg.com)
Uly was racing through the field of grass, and Devon smiled joyfully. She'd been happy the first time she'd seen her son run, unaided as a happy and healthy child, but those emotions paled in comparison to *this*. This time, she was elated merely because Uly was alive, not dead like the nightmare Blalock had taunted her.
<No, don't think of that!> Devon quickly chided herself. She concentrated her attention on Uly, who raced up to her. The boy was puffing as he gasped, "Did you see how fast I went? Did you, Mom?"
"Yes," laughed Devon. "You're definitely faster than a koba." Uly grinned with pride and collapsed in a weary heap at his mother's feet. "I bet True can't run that fast."
"Probably not," Devon agreed, automatically looking around for the girl. She hadn't realised before now that True was very important to her as well. Devon had missed True, just as she missed Alonzo . She would have to spend more time with both of them.
And more time with Julia. Most definitely Julia - she couldn't bear to think of her friend not existing. But for now, she was playing with her son, and Devon couldn't think of anything else she'd rather be doing.
Uly watched his mother as she gazed wistfully around, and a wiseness came over his young features. His links with the Terrians gave him insight into adult emotions and he sensed that something was wrong with Devon. It was his duty to cheer her up, so he impulsively grabbed her hand and said, "Race with me, Mom! Over to that tree."
Uly pointed and Devon teased, "That far? Do you think I can make it?"
"Of course you can, it's easy for me!" boasted Uly, trying to pull Devon to her feet. Then he stopped, seeing the tiredness in her limbs. "Maybe you should rest some more. I'll go."
Devon wanted to race, more than anything, but she didn't know if she could trust her body yet. Julia had told her to take it easy over the next few days, and while Devon felt better than she had in months (and most of that could be attributed to her joy of homecoming) she realised that perhaps it was best to follow her doctor's orders. There was *no* way she would allow herself to be put into cold sleep again.
"Okay, Uly, I'll watch you," she conceded. "Bring me back a leaf!" He took off like a shot, bounding over the long grasses as if he had never been a sickly child. It was wonderful to see.
She turned her head to view the other direction, back at the camp. Friends she had there, and they were so special to her. Devon caught a glimpse of Alonzo striding purposefully across to a vehicle, and smiled. She much rathered the picture of the planetside Alonzo than the absent space pilot.
Another person caught her eye, no, a couple. She had instantly recognised John Danziger, but who was with him? Her eyes narrowed. Bess. Since when had Bess and John become so close? Resolutely, Devon pushed the thoughts out of her mind and snapped her eyes back to Uly. She would not give in to those thoughts, she would not let the darkness consume her... Devon's eyes closed as she fought against the memories, and so she did not notice Yale's approach until he was right there.
She heard the sudden rustling behind her, and whirled around. A contented expression was on Yale's face as he watched his almostdaughter spend time with her own son. "Uly is one very lucky boy," the old man commented.
Devon said nothing. She composed her features into a steely mask and looked straight past Yale. It was crazy, she knew, to put so much faith in a dream, but she couldn't help it. <Yale abandoned me> taunted the inner words. <When I needed him so much, he didn't care. He treated me like an inconvenience...>
"I'm very glad that you're here with us now," Yale said softly, moving to stand beside her. Devon instinctively took a step back. She saw the confusion on Yale's face, but did not attempt to explain. She couldn't, not when she didn't even trust him anymore.
Yale tried a different tactic, hoping for her to open up to him. "When do you think we will be able to begin moving again?"
"Soon," hedged Devon, her eyes darting from side to side as she searched for an excuse to get away. She was in no desire to think about New Pacifica. She'd *been* there already. She knew what it was like.
And it no longer mattered to Devon whether they got there or not. What mattered were her friends, and her life anywhere on G889. What mattered was being away from the stations, and being loved. New Pacifica was just a place, a small insignificant dot in Devon Adair's life. If they ever got there, well and good, but Devon suddenly realised she didn't really care about it anymore. The thought scared her. Had she truly changed so much through a dream? What she cared about now was clean, fresh air; the freedom to live each day as it came, and the love of her son.
Uly reached the tree, and yelled, "See, Mom, I made it!" "Stay there, Uly, I'm coming over," she called back. "I have to go," Devon told Yale, and turned away. She jogged to her son even though she wasn't supposed to exert herself, but being near Yale caused more conflicting emotions and mental anguish than a simple jog ever would.
When she reached the tree and Uly, Devon let out a defeated sigh, and wondered just how long it would take her to be able to trust her friends once again. She loved Yale, but now he scared her and it wasn't his fault. There was nothing at all that Devon could blame except for herself.

The world was dark, oh so terribly, frighteningly dark and empty and void of every true living sensation. There were...things...around her. There were sounds. There was a screaming.
"That's me screaming," she thought, but the voice was not coming from her own lips. The voice was eons away, yet the terror and pain cut straight through the woman's heart. She *knew* that voice, and she shivered. It was a scream of death. It was her own death.
"How do I know this?" she wondered. The screaming was fading and drifting away. She was dying. There was one last, desperate breath, a final act of defiance in the face of so much evil. "You can't do this to me! NO! You won't win - someday, someone, somehow, will stop you..." There was an intense pain as a red haze descended over everything, and they were falling together towards the abyss of forever darkness. Death.
Then...the presence, the other part of herself, was truly gone. So why was she here now? Was she even really here? Even alive?
There was something...in her head. Someone was doing something to her... and she heard other voices, that weren't anything like the psychic echo of herself.
"It's aware."
"I *know* that. Quick, shut it off. They can't survive long without a physical body."
"Initiate shut down."
Then *she* was gone as well.

Devon woke up gasping for air. She could feel the crushing blackness trying to squeeze every last breath from her body, and she violently pushed the blanket away from her body. Devon quickly got up and scrambled from the tent, willing her breathing to slow down. She had been so scared...
...and now she was confused. It was another nightmare, one of horrific proportions. That entity within the dream - it had been her, but there were two of them. It didn't make sense.
Devon stared at the moons. "What's happening to me..." she whispered desolately. Time was supposed to heal all wounds, but this dream only brought back the fear of another place called hell.
She didn't know why these frightening images were surfacing now. All those months since leaving the stations, and never once had she looked back. Not even when they were most desperate for water and basic human necessities. Devon had realised they were on their own now, and the stations were gone for good.
But the experience in cold sleep had been a catalyst for the memories to resurface. Resurface? Was her nightmare based in reality? Did Devon really hold memories such as those, and were they locked deep within her mind?
"NO!" Devon shouted aloud, then glancing around quickly, hoping that she hadn't woken anyone. She was back, back from the dead, and damn it, she would live this life in happiness! She would *not* let the darkness take her friends from her again.

"Hey, Devon!"
She heard her name and cringed, then quickened her pace and refused to turn her head. Maybe she could pretend that she hadn't heard him, if she were fast enough she could slip around the side of the tent and vanish...
But the sudden pounding of footsteps caused her to realise that he was running to catch her. Damn. She didn't need this. She didn't want this.
Danziger easily matched her pace, saying, "Devon, I was calling you. Guess you didn't hear."
"Mmmm." She kept her eyes straight ahead and refused to look at him.
"So...how have you been?" Danziger winced at his own choice of words, but for some reason, he hadn't had the opportunity to speak with Devon even *once* since she came out of cold sleep. And he had a lot to tell her. An awful lot.
"That must've been pretty rough, everything you went through," he began. "I couldn't imagine being locked away. I hate cold sleep as it is, but to be put away and never knowing if you'll ever get out..."
<It was worse than you could ever know> Devon thought angrily. If John Danziger thought he understood her, he thought wrong. He reached out to gently touch Devon's arm, and she flinched away. "Danziger, I'm kind of busy at the moment."
He stopped, and stared at her. His blue eyes searched her face, but Devon kept her gaze low and swallowed nervously.
"Devon, what's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Then why are you avoiding me?"
"I'm not," she lied, praying that someone, anyone would interrupt this conversation she didn't feel ready to have. Danziger caused so many conflicting emotions within her, but right now she wanted to be as far away from him as possible.
Danziger sighed heavily. He had to try and reach her. "Dev, do you remember what you asked me before? To take care of Uly? To lead the group?"
She nodded. Danziger had a sudden flash that perhaps he'd failed in that respect, if he'd done something wrong then Devon could be angry with him. "I tried to watch Uly," he quickly explained, "but he took off so quickly, I'm sorry Devon..."
Yet Devon's blank expression showed him that she knew nothing of Uly's reclusive behaviour, or the fact that he'd been missing an entire day. "You did fine," she said in a flat voice. "Thank you for taking care of him." Danziger's heart lightened a little at Devon's words. It wasn't that, and it was a start. Now if he could just get through to her now, he'd have a chance.
"I thought, well, I thought we had some kind of connection there. I thought that if you survived, then maybe," this was so hard for Danziger to vocalise, "maybe we could, uh, see more of each other."
<I don't want to hear this now!> Once, her heart would have been leaping into her throat with sheer giddiness and excitement from knowing that he cared for her, as she did him. But what if he was like the Danziger of the stations? What if the moment she let herself get close to him, he walked away?
Devon didn't trust herself to get involved with any man ever again. She wanted John, she even loved him, but they couldn't be together. It would only mean more pain.
He was looking at her now, her eyes flitted up and caught the intensity of his gaze. His expression was so full of hope, and longing but in that instant, a flash of terrifying fear overcame Devon and she had to get away.
"Leave me alone!" she burst out irrationally. She couldn't help it, if she stood there one moment longer she would either scream or burst into tears, and neither option was appealing to her. She was Devon Adair, who never lost control. No matter what happened. So she ran, leaving a bewildered Danziger staring after her.

DEVON, ALONE Part V
The Dream, the Dark, and the Light (3/11)
by Nicole Mayer. (destiny@wwdg.com)
"'Lonz, I'm worried about Devon," Julia confided late one evening. Twilight was upon them and as the stars slowly emerged, the landscape took on eerie yet comforting shades of grey and black. Julia and Alonzo were taking a quiet walk away from the camp, and while Alonzo had romance on the mind, it was obvious that Julia was thinking of very different matters.
Alonzo companionably took Julia's hand, waiting for her to say more. He knew the terrible feelings of guilt she'd gone through when they discovered how to save Devon, and realised that Julia wasn't over it yet. In what he hoped was a comforting tone, he offered, "It will just take time. She nearly died, and that's enough to weird anyone out for a while."
But Julia was shaking her head. "No, that's not it," she protested. "If she was exhibiting signs of fearing her *own* mortality, then I wouldn't be so worried. But she's withdrawing from the group and losing her focus. She's completely avoiding Yale and Danziger, and those were two of the people she was closest to before all of this!"
Alonzo nodded as he recognised the truth in Julia's words. However, he had noticed other things in Devon's behaviour. "She's spending a lot of time with Uly, though. And you - you were close to her before."
"I know, but why would she talk to me and not Yale? He was like a father to her!"
Alonzo was stumped. "I don't know - Danziger and Yale are both men, maybe?"
"No, that's not it," said Julia. "I've seen her talking to Morgan a lot..."
"And she never had time for him before," concluded Alonzo. He recalled an incident that happened around lunch time that very day - Danziger had openly approached Devon and she rudely brushed him off, going to sit by Morgan instead. Although maybe Devon hadn't been entirely 'rude', as such, more...scared.
"Did she tell you anything at all about her cold sleep experience?" asked Alonzo, not even wanting to touch on the subject of Devon's sudden fear of Danziger. "Maybe she needs a little counselling."
A shadow crossed Julia's face. "I suggested that and Devon nearly took my head off. It scared her, and I don't know why! Wait a moment." Julia paused as an idea came to her. "She mentioned a bad dream. Maybe...the coldsleep injection affected her internal chemistry...she could have experienced a very frightening nightmare..."
Alonzo agreed. He, too, knew just how realistic dreams could be, or how real they actually were. "Do you think she was dreaming with the Terrians at all?"
Shaking her head, Julia said, "No, I don't think so. She would have told us - we all know how important Terrian dreams can be."
Alonzo silently absorbed her words, until a new idea came to him. "Then maybe the Terrians can help her. I was once really screwed up, and the Terrians showed me how to say goodbye to my past. They showed me some of the future. If Devon is so confused about her own life, then maybe that's what she needs."
"You think so?" Julia asked, but inside she was already agreeing with him. Now if only they could get Devon to cooperate, or maybe Uly could convince her to go along with it.
Whatever was troubling Devon, Julia wanted to help her friend get past it and rejoin the spirit of Eden Advance.

Morgan heard his name, and instantly turned to follow the voice. It was Devon calling to him, and he had begun to realize lately that Devon wasn't anywhere near as bad as he once thought.
Not that he had ever really hated her (well, he would just forget that incident on the Advance ship) but Devon had always got on his nerves. Her optimistic outlook and "I'd never do anything wrong/stupid/dangerous" attitude had bothered Morgan for a long time even as they learnt to get along and call each other friends.
Now, though, things were different. Devon was nicer to him somehow. She treated Morgan as if he were an equal and a dear friend. Someone she could trust.
Devon had been different ever since she came out of cold sleep, and Morgan liked the change. She went out of her way to spend time with him, and he enjoyed their conversations. Devon was becoming a true friend.
Morgan greeted her with a smile, which Devon easily returned. "Good morning, Morgan!" she said with forced cheerfulness, and Morgan could clearly see the dark shadows under her eyes. Perhaps she hadn't been sleeping well.
"You look tired," he said bluntly, not wanting her to pull a fast one on them again. Pretending *not* to be sick had got Devon into a lot of trouble last time, and no one wanted it to happen again. "Are you alright? Any headaches, dizziness..."
"I'm fine," snapped Devon with more force than she intended. Then the corners of her mouth crinkled upwards, to show that she wasn't upset. "I just had a bad dream, haven't been sleeping to well."
"Ah huh," nodded Morgan, still not entirely convinced that she was okay. But maybe this was only one more example of a permanent change. How long had it been since Devon was re-animated? Two weeks? It was a long time for someone to be in a bad mood. Thinking back, Morgan remembered that he'd only felt off-colour for a day or so after twenty-two *years* of cold sleep!
Suddenly, Morgan felt Devon yanking on his arm and she pulled him around the side of the tent. "Wha-?"
"Shhh!" Devon hissed. Almost as if she were hiding from someone, Devon took a careful glance around the edge of the tent, where she could see clear across the campsite. Her eyes narrowed. "Look at them," she muttered.
Morgan looked. And again. He didn't see anything out of the ordinary. "What are you talking about?" he asked.
"Them!" Devon pointed directly towards the fire, where Danziger and Bess were sitting eating 'breakfast', or whatever near-edible concoction Julia had synthesised.
Still not understanding what Devon was worried about, Morgan said, "I see my wife and Danziger eating together."
"Exactly," confirmed Devon. Upon noticing Morgan's blank look, Devon gave an exasperated sigh. "Don't you get it? John and Bess, your *wife*!"
Morgan looked again. Come to think of it, they were sitting awfully close to each other. They were talking animatedly, Bess throwing back her head and laughing while Danziger put his hand on her arm. Morgan took a step forward, a grim look on his features. If that mechanic thought he could move in on Morgan's wife while he wasn't looking...
But Devon gently caught his shirtsleeve. "Don't," she said simply. Morgan stared deep into her eyes, seeing a pain to mirror his own - along with a resigned defeat. And sadness, Devon was so, so sad...
"Maybe they're meant to be together," she said softly. "We shouldn't interfere."
For a moment, Morgan felt inclined to trust Devon on this one, there was something about her that seemed wise beyond her years. But then his instincts kicked in, and he spat, "Like hell they're meant to be together! Do you really think I'm going to stand here and take it while that -man- comes on to my wife?!" He stormed off, and Devon could do nothing more to stop him.
As the angry words drifted across to her ears, Devon buried her face in her hands. Why was she doing this? Why couldn't she let the dream go? Why couldn't she...let herself love John the way she used to?
Devon felt tears begin to trickle down her cheeks, and she suddenly ran. Away from the campsite, through the grass, and over a hill where she was hidden from view. Where she could get away from everyone and the conflicting emotions they brought on her, where she could be alone.
She did not want to cry, so she stifled a sob as she stared across the empty plains. After all this time, and everything she had been through, she was still lonely. Still alone. And she had no one to blame but herself.
"No!" Devon suddenly screamed out in a burst of rage and frustration. Blalock's words drifted unbidden into her mind. "You have no one, Devon, nobody even cared you were gone..." And then her own dismal thoughts, just before the darkness...what *had* happened, anyway? She could see flashes in her mind, Danziger shouting at her, a grim, lonely walk through the corridors, an airlock with the promise of release from the pain...then her own voice before she woke up here. "I have no one. I am alone forever."

Images raced past her, as if she were part of a dream. Maybe *she* was the dream, for she knew her only existence was in this corporeal state. She knew that she had died.
There was no conscious sight, and no conscious noise. In fact, the only thing she could 'see' was...cyberspace. There were so many differing sights streaming past her, or perhaps she was racing desperately past them. For there was something chasing her.
It tugged at her mind and it whispered sweetly in her ear. "Let me in," it promised, "and I will take away your pain forever. No longer will you have to fight the Council...they are your friends. I can show you this. I can help you to forget your loss - I can even take you to a place where Uly will live once again."
She was growing so terribly tired of this incessant voice. Always it was at her, cajoling, wheedling, and lately, it had developed more of a violent edge.
"I will be part of you, whether you want it or not!" It savagely tore at her mind, the only part of her that remained.
"NO!" she screamed. "I will not let you control me!" She vowed to stay strong; she would not let her essence be destroyed as she had seen happen to so many others.
"There is no escape," it hissed. Summoning all of her strength, she locked away a part of her mind as the evil began to creep inside. "You will never get in there. Never!" she vowed as her thoughts were gradually overtaken.
The new meld took hold, as her mind was rewritten in accord with the leisure of the Council. But still -way down deep- the true Devon Adair lingered.
With a jolt, she realised she was a person again. They were drilling...my God...they're drilling into my head! The buzzing noise permeated to her core, echoing through each and every part of her new body. She screamed.
"She's awake!" gasped a voice. Another one laughed. "The problem is over," it said. "Welcome back to reality, Citizen Adair..."

As much as she tried to hold back, Devon woke up screaming. People rushed from every direction, and soon Devon found herself in a warm circle of light with friendly faces looking down on her.
"I'm okay, really," she protested as Julia ran her diaglove up and down Devon's body. "Go back to sleep, everyone," she insisted, embarrassed by the whole affair. "It was just a bad dream."
"Seems to me that you've been havin' an awful lot of bad dreams lately, Dev." That was Alonzo, and he gently took Devon's hand in his own. She was glad it was him by her side and not someone else. Devon could see Danziger near the edge of group. While his face showed an intense concern, it seemed he had finally got her message to stay away. The thought saddened her. If even *he* gave up, then what hope did she have to conquer the nightmare?
She felt a sudden rush of guilt as she noticed the positions of other people - Bess standing helplessly by Magus; Morgan in yet a third corner of the triangle, somehow managing to glare at both Danziger and Bess at the same time. And it was Devon who'd caused this mess.
Julia stood up, a determined expression on her face. "I'm going to give you a sedative," she stated. "You need to get some proper rest."
"Okay everyone, show's over, back to bed," said Alonzo, taking charge of the situation. "You too, Uly. Julia will look after your Mom."
The boy was obviously worried and frightened, but Danziger took his hand and hustled him away. Alonzo nodded a silent thanks.
"Julia, I really don't need this," Devon was protesting. "It was only a stupid dream!"
"Well maybe you'd like to talk about it," offered Julia for the hundredth time, squatting beside her friend's bed. She tiredly ran a hand through her hair while rechecking the diaglove's readings which again showed her that nothing was wrong.
Alonzo pulled up a chair, and said, "We're your friends, Devon. We care about you, and we want to help."
"Do you really care?" Devon spat bitterly. She felt as if Dison Blalock was peering over her shoulder right this moment, monitoring and recording her every move. Just as he had claimed. Even though there was no other way he could be invading her dreams, it had been *his* voice she heard last of all - or was it? She frowned, realising that one evil Council member sounded like another. She was so confused.
"All of us care," promised Julia. "We care about you more than you'll ever know. When we put you in cold sleep, everyone was devastated. And now you're back, but it's not the same, and we want to help you." Her blue eyes pleaded with Devon as Julia willed her friend to open up. "Tell us."
Taking a deep breath, Devon finally opened her mouth. Knowing she couldn't go on like this, that something had to give. Her world was collapsing around her no matter how hard she fought, so perhaps, it was finally time to give up her fears and tell the truth. "It all started with a dream."
Alonzo and Julia listened in silence as Devon told them of her frighteningly real experience. Not all of it (she kept quiet about her own behaviour in relation to Danziger especially), but of the Program, and the horrible conviction something was very wrong.
"You would think I could let it go when I got back to G889." Exchanging concerned glances, Julia knew exactly what Alonzo was thinking. Devon had specified when she "got back to G889", *not* "when I woke up".
"And now I keep having frightening flashes," admitted Devon. "I'm on the stations, I know that much, but it's nothing like the other dream. Something terrible is happening to me but I don't understand what. Or even why."
As a doctor, Julia had read about this kind of thing, and a sudden fear struck her heart. It was impossible, wasn't it? There were plenty of reasons for Devon to be having bad dreams - her recent brush with death, or a hormonal change, even a reaction to spring could be causing it. But *that*? Repressed memories?
Julia would expect someone like, well, herself, to have repressed memories. The kind of thing that people banished from their lives, yet could resurface given the right conditions. But Devon Adair? Their brave leader, the woman behind the Eden Project...who didn't have time for relationships, who was so busy she barely even had time to think let alone sit down and reflect on her own life...
Come to think of it, Devon Adair's lifestyle perfectly mirrored that of someone who was trying to forget a traumatic experience. Julia's jaw almost dropped. She tried to mask her expression, but Devon caught it.
"What is it?" she asked Julia.
The doctor took a deep breath, and looked to Alonzo for support. He squeezed her hand, as if to say 'go for it' and Julia felt a sudden rush of affection for this man who stood by her so often. If it weren't for Alonzo, Julia doubted she would even be with the group anymore. But that was all in the past, and she had been forgiven long ago, when Devon had given her a chance. Now it was Julia's turn to help Devon.
"Devon," she said, "do you know much about the phenomenon of repressed memory?"

DEVON, ALONE Part V
The Dream, the Dark, and the Light (4/11)
by Nicole Mayer. (destiny@wwdg.com)
The four travellers warily entered the cave. Even Uly was nervous, for, as he and Alonzo had said earlier, this was a very sacred Terrian place. Only through many pleas had the Terrians been persuaded to help Devon, and the group had very specific instructions on where they were permitted to go.
Devon felt a sense of unreality about all of this. How had she let Julia talk her into it? Did she really believe there was some terrible secret locked up in her mind that the Dreamplane would help reveal? And could Devon face the truth?
That was what scared her the most - finding out that there *was* something in her past, something so terrible that she had purposely forgotten it. Something even worse than being part of a VR program - and Devon shuddered. Maybe she shouldn't go ahead with this after all.
Her steps slowed as they moved deeper into the cave. There was no need for the luma-light, as veins of Morganite ran along each wall and provided ample illumination for the group. Each corridor seemed to be alive and pulsating with energy. It was an eerie beauty.
They rounded a corner, and came across a great cavern. Ancient stone formations adorned the centre, and the travellers were immediately struck by the sense of -history- about the place. As if this cave had witnessed events from over a millennia ago, and would continue to record happenings until the end of time.
The walls were literally glowing with Morganite, and there were random flashes of light that illuminated the cavern even more. With each burst, a rush of air wafted past the travellers reminding them of the planet's transportation tunnels. This *place* was a vortex for something great.
"Where now?" whispered Julia, her voice hushed and reverent. Alonzo and Uly glanced at each other.
"There's a certain Terrian we have to find," replied Alonzo, directing his gaze to the walls. Every so often, there was an indentation, surrounded by a great light, and within these pockets, Terrians stood. They were deathly still, but the colonists knew the Terrians were dreaming - communicating with each other and the planet in a way humans were only beginning to comprehend.
"Over there." Uly pointed and took his mother's hand. "They'll help you, Mom. They told me they will show you the truth."
Devon reluctantly let herself be pulled towards the tallest of the dreaming Terrians. His skin was leathery and wrinkled, he was perhaps the oldest living Terrian that any of them had ever seen.
"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," Devon said nervously, regretting the whole situation. She could feel the tangible danger in the air. One wrong move, and it could mean the beginning of a war between humans and Terrians.
And, frightening her even more, was what Devon would discover within herself when the Terrians did show her, as they promised, the truth.
Julia took Devon's other hand as they reached the old Terrian. "You have to do this, Devon. For your own peace of mind."
"Remember, we're right here for you," added Alonzo. He lightly touched her shoulder. "Relax."
Devon tried, but her breath was coming in short gasps. "I can't go through with this."
"Yes you can. Close your eyes," Alonzo instructed. Devon did so. "You are about to enter the Dreamplane. Relax, and let them take you with them."
Uly lifted Devon's hand forward until her fingertips finally brushed the Terrian's skin. She jumped at the shock of contact, but then, almost as if her body were taking on a life of its own, her palm flattened against the old Terrian and she became a part of him. She was on the Dreamplane.
Almost instantly, Devon felt a sense of peace. She was amongst friends, both human and Terrian, and they were with her and would not let her be hurt. It was so bright here, the images moving disjointedly but Devon expected this, so it was okay. *She* was okay.
She turned, and heard the mournful trill of a Terrian. It was the old one. It lifted up one hand, and beckoned to her. Warily, Devon took a step forward. And then another step, following the Terrian from the brightness of G889 through a portal, to a very dark and frightening place...

Surreptitiously, she crept forward, glad of the simulated night that made for shadows in every direction. She did not want to be seen traversing these corridors at any time, let alone now, and made sure to keep well out of the various cameras' lines of sight. She wore black, and the dark hair framing her pale face served to make her even more invisible. Not that anyone was watching. She hoped.
Her heart was pounding in her ears, a noise that appeared terribly loud in the absolute stillness of the dark. Each footstep she took seemed to echo for an eternity, but it was her breathing that made the most noise. Although breathing was something she would no longer have to worry about if she were caught.
No. She wouldn't even think of that. She'd done everything she could to protect herself, and those she was close to. There would be victory ahead, she told herself over and over. They -the Council- wouldn't win. If she *did* fail tonight, she fervently prayed that the awful consequences could never be allowed to come to fulfilment.
She finally reached her destination and paused, checking in every direction. No one. Now came the difficult part. Getting past all the earlier security checkpoints was child's play next to this.
Slipping one hand into a pocket, she withdrew a data card. The metallic strip glinted momentarily as a fragment of light caught it, illuminating her name. A pang of regret shot through her suddenly, for she wouldn't be able to use her card after this.
If she succeeded tonight, never again would she have access into high places, or even the right to show her face in public. For many months to come she would be marked for death by the multitude of Council assassins that lurked on every part of the stations. It didn't matter if the Council were still in power or not, there were many who were undyingly loyal and would not stand aside as one woman brought it down. Especially *them*.
Replicas.
An illicit shiver ran down her spine as she comprehended the power of her thoughts. Could she really do it? She knew she had to try. She inserted her modified card into the slot and held her breath as the computer processed the details. Five endless seconds passed...and then there was a gentle whirr and click as the door unlocked. She was in.
The room beyond was even darker than the corridor, she could not even see her own hand in front of her face. The darkness unnerved her, so she closed her eyes. At least now she could pretend that there was light somewhere and that she was just unable to see it.
Glad she had memorised the room's layout from station schematics coupled with her own experience, she took a step forward. She didn't know exactly what she was looking for, yet had reasoned that the only place she would find absolute proof was in the offices of the people who were behind it all. The head of the Council.
Their three leaders - the president and his trusted allies - only they would have the information she sought. After what she had seen today, she suspected that anyone involved within the initiation of the project was long dead - or Replicated.
She suppressed a shudder as she recalled the events of the past weeks. She had begun to stumble across things that were -wrong-, things that didn't add up, such as associates with gaps in their memories. The Council's continual rebuttal of her proposals. And the terrifying message she'd received that very morning, one which *finally* granted her a private meeting with the President...
They knew that she knew the truth. And if her mission failed tonight, she would soon be dead.
<Remember Anna...> came the little whisper of her mind. Pain welled up inside her and she fought the powerful emotion. Anna Sinclaire, one of the closest things she'd ever had to a friend, had also been aware that something was not right and tried to tell her something important. Anna had mentioned that dark times were ahead, something *she* already knew. But whatever Anna's secret message, it had never left her. And it never would.
Was that a sound? She froze, her inching motion stopped as she strained to hear anything in the absolute quiet. She couldn't allow herself to be distracted again, and must *focus*! Otherwise, everything Anna had done, everything *she* had tried to do, was for nothing.
It was her greatest chance. She almost laughed aloud at the circumstances that had allowed her to see the truth. She'd barged her way past the various security checkpoints, protesting loudly that she should at least have one chance to speak to the President. And her reputation had allowed her to get that far, into a place where few people were ever permitted.
A dropped ring as she awaited the President, to demand that the Eden Project be re-instated, was all it took. For all the Council's security, it seemed that once she was out of sight under the desk, she was out of mind and she had watched with growing horror as they keyed open a hidden wall unit. Gleaming secret technology had appeared, and then, then - they hauled Anna out of a chamber.
But it wasn't Anna anymore. It was a nothing, a breathing organism with no mind. A clone. The mocking tones of the Councillors', "My dear Ms Sinclaire, you really cannot defeat the Council. Soon all of that will be *so* clear to you!" seemed to still ring in this dark place.
And then they injected something into her mind...it was too shocking to comprehend. Anna woke up, and the horrible sound of the first breath would forever echo in Devon's mind. It was a new birth, and a primal scream as Anna collapsed forward onto the floor and the Councillors laughed. But Anna - she had lifted her head - and had looked straight at Devon. It was Anna who had given her away to the Council.
<No, not Anna> she reminded herself. <It was the Replica who saw me.> That was the only explanation she could come up with, for she had been *so* careful in all of her enquiries. Some trace of Anna must have remained, to let her go free from the room that terrifying morning when Devon had been so sure that Anna would say something and reveal her presence. But it seemed Anna had kept her silence until the message from the President had come.
She was doomed. Unless she could do this now. Finally, she reached the inner chamber of the Presidential offices, where the new Anna had been activated. There *had* to be records there, or at least, she knew, the equipment that had been used to perform the procedure. She was looking for something, anything, that she could use to go public, and then she would be alright.
She crept to the wall, counting her steps exactly, until she reached the unit that controlled the room's surveillance cameras. With experienced fingers, she disconnected them and said, "Lights." Illumination flooded the room and as her heart beat wildly, she checked her handiwork. It was perfect, no one could know that she was there.
Where to start? The wall unit was the obvious place - behind the old-fashioned (and ridiculously expensive) wooden bookcase lay the high technology workroom. She crossed to the wooden panel she had seen opened last time and gently tapped it. Her fingers were trembling, but as she had suspected, there were no security measures here. No one would even know it existed unless they had seen its use.
To her immense delight, the bookcase swung aside. A gentle hum began as lights flickered on, illuminating a sophisticated computer, gleaming metal technology and a wall chamber where the Anna-clone had been grown and stored.
Frost lined its surface, so she could not see if anyone was in there now. Actually, she didn't really want to know, she just wanted to grab her evidence and leave. But what should she take?
A freezer-tank caught her attention. She uneasily walked towards it and keyed open the lid. Inside were hundreds of vials, each one labelled with a name. DNA fragments - from a nail, or a piece of hair, all that was needed to entirely clone a person.
If she searched long enough, she would probably find one with *her* name on it. Or maybe not, for they wanted her dead, not cloned.
Well, one vial would provide part of her proof. What about the device she had seen injected into Anna-clone's brain? Surely that would contain conclusive evidence. She closed the tank and proceeded to the next workbench.
Time was running out - she had to work quickly. A computer screen activated with her nearness, asking for her retinal scan. She ignored it and instead inserted her modified data card into the slot, watching with a small sense of victory as it rerouted subroutines and allowed her minimal access. It began to copy file after file, and she hoped that would be enough evidence to prove the Council's corruption. She had been foolish to think that things would just be 'lying around' for her to take. The DNA vial was pure luck.
She progressed around the room, wishing that the file transfer would hurry up. She was so close now, maybe there was really a chance that she would get out of there with the evidence, and actually bring down the Council! It would be a dream come true. And then maybe, someday, she could reactivate the Eden Project and bring hope to so many families. Her own family was doomed, but if she could help others, then somehow, it would be worth it.
She paused by the wall chamber. It sickened her to think that there was a clone in there right now, a Replica ready to replace whoever was next on the Council's hit list. Tentatively, she reached out one hand and touched the cold glass. A chill ran down her spine, almost as if... as if... a sense of familiarity...
She brushed aside the ice, telling herself it wouldn't matter if she caught a glimpse of the thing inside, maybe she could warn someone. Something inside of her was screaming <no don't look!!!> but she lifted her eyes anyway and looked into -
her own face.

DEVON, ALONE Part V
The Dream, the Dark, and the Light (5/11)
by Nicole Mayer. (destiny@wwdg.com)
Then everything happened at once. The computer beeped a finished signal, Devon gasped and stumbled away from that -thingthat was herself, and the outer doors swung open.
"I'm so glad you could join us," laughed a low, evil voice. <No, this couldn't be happening. Not when she was so close!>
"Did you really think you could break in here, unnoticed, right into the heart of the Council?" asked another voice, and she recognised the President. Her heart in her throat, she turned to face her doom.
"We've been watching you for quite some time. You should have known that," he chided gently. "Still, you've made things somewhat easier. Instead of having to bring you in here, you came to us."
"How did you know?" she asked uselessly, edging away. She wasn't completely unprepared - there was a weapon hidden in her belt - but would she have the chance to use it?
Another figure stepped from behind the President. Anna. "You and I were foolish," she said, her eyes empty and her voice flat and without emotion. "The Council is not evil, the Council protects us all and does what is best. We were wrong in our thinking."
"Anna..." she began uselessly, hoping to somehow reach her friend. But as she looked into the face of Anna, she realised that the person she had known was truly gone forever. "How could you do this to her?"
One of the President's associates laughed. "She sees the light now, and Anna has a much more fulfilling career. She's quite good at keeping tabs on people and has a lot of potential. In fact, I think we'll assign her to your case."
"My case?" but she knew what was coming. "Yes, your case. I'm sorry, Ms Adair, but you have caused us too much trouble. Unless..." and the President let the tantalising word hang in the air.
"Unless what?" She didn't want to rise to the bait, but fewer and fewer options were open to her with every passing moment. She could not allow them to destroy her.
"Tell us what you know. Tell us what *anyone* knows. Who have you told about the Replicas? What messages did you leave?" The questions were fired at her rapidly, but she kept her expression carefully neutral.
"I know that you did something to Anna. That's all." "Oh, I think you know quite a bit more than that. The great Devon Adair is quite resourceful when she needs to be. If you hadn't been so caught up with all of this, I expect you would have been on your way to G889 by now."
"That's a lie, and you know it." He raised his eyebrows, and sighed. "You're going to tell me everything, Devon, whether you want to or not." He nodded an ominous signal to his aides and they proceded forward.
Devon pulled out her weapon and fired, desperately hoping to hit someone, anyone! She was vastly outnumbered, but she wouldn't allow herself to be defeated, she would *never* give up. She hit one man, but they kept coming, and all too soon she was roughly tackled to the floor. Her head hit the cold metal with a resounding thwack and the world blurred before her eyes.
"We'll finish this later," she head a hiss, and then everything went black.
When Devon reopened her eyes, something was different. She didn't know exactly what it was, only that...she wasn't so alone. There was another presence there, with her, inside her mind, almost like an echo of herself. It was a comfort, of sorts. But why was it there? Who was it? And why did it matter, anyway?
<They copied my mind> she realised numbly. The other Devon's thoughts were so confused, she was in a very dark place and didn't even know what she was. "Hold tight," she whispered, tears blurring her vision. She had failed.
"Good, you're awake," said one of the men from earlier. Devon turned her head, aware that she was strapped down to a bench. "I should just throw you out of an airlock right now." He leaned close over her, and Devon winced at the stench of his putrid breath.
"But," and he took a step back, "you still have some things to tell us. Like how you found out about us. And who else knows about your little adventure tonight."
"There's nothing to tell," she returned. The man gently rested a hand on her restrained arm. "Devon, we're not the enemy. The Council wants to help you! Now if you tell us what we need to know, we'll let you go to G889. We'll let you lead your own colony, we can give you all the support you need."
How desperately she wanted to believe that! But what sort of price would she have to pay to get to G889, and who would she have to betray? The person who modified her data card didn't deserve the Council's wrath; and she also had to keep everyone she loved safe. She would not betray them.
The man's voice took on a crueller tone. "Perhaps you need something to jog your memory?" And suddenly there was fire throughout her body, an intense pain jolting through her every nerve. Devon realised they'd attached electrodes to her head. And now she knew how evil the Council truly was. This was torture, no questions, no doubts. It was something that had been outlawed centuries ago, but that didn't stop the Council. Nothing would.
"I'm waiting for your answers..." Again came the wave of pain, the assault that made her gasp and cry out. Her body jerked as the electricity made its way up down one side and up the other.
"Who knows, Devon? WHO KNOWS?"
But she would not tell. She never would. Devon screamed as the pain came again, and this time it went on and on. She knew her cells were being ruptured, she could not breathe, she could barely even think. Everything was diminishing into a great, red haze of pain, a fire that consumed her very essence.
<You can't do this to me! NO! You won't win - someday, someone, somehow, will stop you...> "I will never give up," Devon managed to gasp as her torturer increased the intensity. "The Council cannot win. I will survive!" she vowed with her last breath. She was alone, friendless, and at the mercy of a man whose name she didn't even know. And that was how it ended.

"NO!" screamed Devon, pulling away from the Terrian. Her face was pale and withdrawn, and even as she collapsed backwards into Alonzo's and Julia's waiting arms, she realised that she couldn't tell them a thing. She was shaking violently for the vision had disturbed her greatly.
"Dev, are you okay?" asked Alonzo, holding her close. And in that moment, Devon realized that the only person she wanted to hold her close was John Danziger, maybe he could banish the demons. But he wasn't even there, for Devon had told him to stay the hell away.
So she buried her face on Alonzo's shoulder, willing the nightmarish visions to leave her mind. How could what she had seen possibly be true? It couldn't have happened, she had made it here to G889! Yes, she recalled the terrible problems she'd had getting the Eden Project underway, she remembered going to the highest authority she could...
"But that's impossible," she whispered aloud. The Terrians had shown her own death. And it was supposed to be in her past? It didn't make sense, not unless...no, she couldn't even *think* that.
Devon felt small arms encircle her neck, but Uly's hug did little to help. "Mom, did they help you?"
"Uly, I think you should let your Mom tell us when she's ready."
"No, no, it's okay," said Devon, taking a deep breath and beginning to regain control of her emotions. "I was just a little confused when I came out," she lied.
"So what did they show you?"
"Nothing."
There was no way Devon could tell them about it. Never. If the vision meant what she thought it meant... <How can I tell my friends that I'm not even human?>
"Nothing?" repeated Julia, disbelief evident on her face. "Come on, Devon, you were shaking worse than anyone I've ever seen when you came out of the dreamplane. You expect us to believe that you saw nothing?"
"Look," said Devon firmly, extricating herself from Alonzo's arms, "it's nothing. None of your damn business. So why don't you," and then she gestured around the whole cave, "*all* of you, just leave me the hell alone?! That's what I'm supposed to be - alone!"
She wasn't even real. How could she expect these people, real, living people who had been born and experienced every moment of their lives, to be her friends? When she, Devon Adair (but that wasn't even her own name), was nothing more than the memories of another woman who had died for a cause. If this was true, she didn't deserve to be among anyone.
"No, Devon, wait," Julia called uselessly as Devon stalked away. "Don't shut us out again. You need your friends, and we need you! You're a part of us and - "
"- And whatever happened to you in the past, we don't care. We're gonna be there for you no matter what," concluded Alonzo.
"Devon, we need you. We care for you. You've done so much for me, for all of us, and I don't know where I'd be without you," admitted Julia. "You're our friend and we'd never abandon you."
Devon paused. Dare she believe them? "I love you Mom. I want you to be better," said Uly, sounding alone and frightened. She turned and saw his young eyes looking desperately after her. "Please don't leave me alone again."
"Oh, Uly, I'm sorry," whispered Devon. She was being selfish. They all depended on her, and she'd let them down because she was too screwed up to think straight. Well, all of that could be over now. She'd seen the most frightening truth possible, and even if she didn't entirely want to believe it, Devon knew that nothing more she dreamed would be worse than that. The nightmares were over.
And so were the dream-memories. Who was she kidding, thinking Danziger and Bess were in love? They were friends and nothing more - Bess was devoted to Morgan and vice versa. Yale was one of the best friends she could ever have. And she loved John Danziger.
*Those* were the things that were important to her now. Every single person, who had become her extended family, who were going to New Pacifica with her. And they would make it.
Devon held open her arms, and Uly walked across to embrace his mother. As she held her son, Devon looked up to Julia and Alonzo. "I'm sorry," she apologised. "I haven't been thinking clearly ever since I woke up. I said and did some stupid, crazy things. But I think I'm alright now. I'm going to get through this."
Julia knew that Devon wouldn't truly put it behind her until she could accept the truth of her past, whatever that was. But when she did, Julia would be there to help her and support her in any way she could. Starting right now.
"We're right behind you," Julia promised. She offered a hesitant smile.
"Well, let's get back to camp." Devon plastered a smile on her own face, this time absolutely determined to make it work. It would take time, sure, but good things had come out of this whole experience. She had discovered that Morgan could be a friend. She had learnt that no matter how hard things got, G889 was the most wonderful place in the universe. And she had realised that, after all this time, she had given her heart to a man.
Now it was time to tell him.
But maybe not right away.

DEVON, ALONE Part V
The Dream, the Dark, and the Light (6/11)
by Nicole Mayer. (destiny@wwdg.com)
Devon took a deep breath. The time had come to begin repairing the damage she had done, and the obvious place to start was with Morgan and Bess. "Bess, I want to apologise. To you as well, Morgan."
The three sat in an awkward circle. Bess was still giving her husband the cold shoulder because of his accusations, and Morgan was upset because, he reasoned, Bess wouldn't have become so angry unless she had something to hide. He recalled the time she'd admitted to having thoughts about other men, and now believed that it was Danziger. Something that had been building under his nose all this time, and he never even noticed until Devon had the wisdom to point it out.
"I made it up."
"Sorry?" asked Bess, not understanding at all. "I told Morgan, well, that you and Danziger were...you know...together. I'm sorry."
Shocked outrage crossed Bess's face. "You *what*?!" Morgan was looking at Devon with equal distaste. "You made up something like that?"
Ducking her head, Devon felt intensely ashamed. But she had to face up to it sometime. "I guess I was acting a little crazy when I came out of cold sleep."
"A little?" repeated Morgan. "Devon, you could have ruined my marriage! What did we ever do to you?"
"Nothing, Morgan, and I am so, so sorry. I had the craziest dream where Danziger was married to Bess and I got confused over what was real and what wasn't. I was jealous of your happiness, and I - I'm sorry." Devon knew she was apologising over and over, but didn't expect the Martins to forgive her right away. Her own behaviour was inexcusable.
"It's not all your fault, Devon," said Bess, still annoyed with Morgan. "He didn't have to believe you."
"Well you didn't have to start yelling at me either," countered Morgan. Then he turned his attention back to Devon. "You made it up???"
"I'm really sorry."
Bess sighed. She wearily ran one hand through her curly locks and looked from Devon to Morgan and back again. "I know you had a rough time, Devon," she said slowly. "But I don't think I want to talk to you for a while."
Devon had expected this. Things wouldn't be entirely normal for some time to come yet.
"So you're okay now?" Bess asked, hoping for confirmation that Devon would no longer interfere in her life.
"Yes, I'm fine. Perfectly fine, perfectly normal..." She couldn't tell anyone about what she had seen in the Terrian cave. She couldn't even accept it herself. It was just one last nightmare, but they had all stopped now. There was nothing but an emptiness when she closed her eyes.
"Well, then, that's good," Morgan said. He watched Bess get up and walk away.
"Go talk to her," Devon urged. She couldn't stand to see them still fighting, especially when it was her fault. "You two belong together, and I know that she loves you. Tell her that."
Morgan looked at Devon, confused. He didn't know if he could trust her again, but there was truth in her words. He and Bess loved each other more than anything, and it would take a lot more than empty accusations to destroy that. He hoped. So he would go talk to her, and life would go on.

As Devon crossed the campsite, she became aware of a low rumbling beneath her feet. She stopped, and looked around. It was late at night, and while she hadn't had any nightmares since her experience in the Terrian cave, she still avoided sleep as much as possible. Besides, walking at night gave her a chance to clear her head.
Julia would certainly disapprove, Devon realised, smiling as she thought of her friend. But the night walks had become a ritual and Devon enjoyed them. It was a chance for her to be alone by choice, not out of some twisted conspiracy or threat of death. But never before had she heard this noise.
Devon cocked her head to the side. Most of Eden Advance were asleep, although the sound couldn't possibly be someone snoring. Terrains? Now that was a much more realistic possibility, even if they rarely visited this place. In actual fact, they hadn't seen much Terrian activity at all lately save for when Alonzo and Uly directly contacted them.
The noise grew louder, until it seemed to be echoing within Devon's own head. She looked down, and for one terrifying moment, the surface of G889 seemed to shimmer out of existence, and all she could see was cold, terrifying metal.
And a voice, amongst the rumbling, telling her, "You cannot hide from the truth forever..." Devon gasped as the world tilted crazily. Was it the Terrians? Had they shared her dream vision? Did they know the truth, that she did not belong here?
Devon squeezed her eyes shut and refused to look down anymore. She concentrated on her breathing, slowly, in and out, telling herself that she would not give in to fear and would not break down again. She was past all of that. She was okay. And finally, the noise stopped.
Cautiously, Devon looked around, but everything seemed to be normal. Except for a light moving behind the vehicles... Devon purposely strode towards it, determined to see what, or who else walked late at night.
Danziger. She almost berated herself for travelling over there, but stopped just in time. She had promised to give him a chance, and to quench the feelings of betrayal and...fear. She was scared of him. Scared of getting close to him, and scared of letting anyone past the barrier she had so carefully erected.
The first thing he said when he saw her was, "Did you hear it too?"
A smile broke over Devon's face. She wasn't alone, and she wasn't going crazy! "Yes," she answered happily. "The rumbling - it was like the noise Terrians make when they're moving underground."
"That's what I thought," responded Danziger, fully rounding the vehicle so that he was standing near, if not next to, Devon. This was the first time she'd spoken to him civilly in weeks, it seemed. He figured it was something to do with this place, where Elizabeth and Franklin's ship hovered over them like a demon from the past. A demon that had tried to take Devon's soul from all of them. He couldn't wait to get moving again.
But that all depended on Devon and when she was ready to travel, or more accurately, when Julia allowed Devon to retake the responsibility of leading the group. Everyone had been treading carefully since Devon got sick, no one really wanting to vote on a new leader out of a sense of loyalty. And then later, when Devon was back, everyone had been too confused to get anything done.
But from what Bess had told him, Devon was beginning to behave like herself again. If only she would renew her tentative relationship with him, Danziger decided, everything would be fine.
At least she wasn't running on sight. That was a definite good sign. "So what are you doing out so late, Devon?"
"I could ask you the same question," she returned speedily. He smiled, remembering a time at the winter camp when neither had been able to sleep. Somehow, they'd ended up talking for hours as the night wore on, and retired to their respective beds just before dawn. It had been a beautiful night, kind of like this one, with only one moon high above. But that one moon, so luminous and bright, caused more than enough beauty in the midnight hours.
Danziger studied Devon's face. She didn't look tired or nervous, she seemed to be a lot more relaxed than she had been of late. "I couldn't sleep," he finally said. "Thought I'd come take a look at the vehicles. We should get moving soon, you know."
Momentary worry passed across Devon's face at the thought of travelling again, but it was quickly replaced by a different expression, something that Danziger couldn't quite place. A sense of familiarity...
"You're right," Devon said. "I hadn't really thought about that yet, not with everything else..."
"Devon," Danziger said softly, "you know that I'm here for you. No matter what. And if you want me to stay away, then I can do that too. I just can't stand this...awkwardness."
Dropping her gaze briefly to the ground, Devon scuffed the dirt with one toe. "No," she said, responding to his words. "I don't want you to stay away. I don't want to lose your friendship. But it's going to take time - John, I can't explain why I don't trust you right now, but I'm going to ask you to trust me. Please."
Her blue eyes were begging him, and there was no way Danziger could tell her no. "I'm here for you, as long as it takes," he promised.
"Thank you," Devon said, and truly meant it. Her gaze to the heavens, she smiled as a meteorite streaked before her eyes. "Did you see that?" she asked in a voice full of child-like wonder at the awesome sight that had been part of the universe's history as long as anyone could remember.
Danziger nodded.
"We live in a beautiful place," Devon continued. "Such an incredible world - it's almost too good to be true."
Danziger stared around him, thinking of all the times he'd cursed this ball of dirt and the events that had trapped him here. But suddenly, he could see it all through Devon's eyes. It was a change that had been creeping up on him for a long time, and in that moment, John Danziger realised that G889 was his home. And it was hers as well.
"This *is* our home, Devon. We can take our lives wherever we want. Even if we don't get to New Pacifica like we always said."
"We'll get there," said Devon, and there was a serene yet enigmatic smile curving across her lips. "Everything will be fine." Suddenly, almost involuntarily, she yawned.
Danziger glanced at the time. "It's late," he said. "I don't want to tell you what to do, but..."
"But maybe I should get some sleep," Devon finished. "I guess I should. Goodnight, John. And thank you."
"Night, Devon," he said with a half-wave of one hand. Then he watched her retreat to her tent, happy in the knowledge that some progress had been made. He hadn't lost her forever.

DEVON, ALONE Part V
The Dream, the Dark, and the Light (7/11)
by Nicole Mayer. (destiny@wwdg.com)
"Devon, have you seen Bess?" Morgan asked worriedly. "I can't find her, and I've looked everywhere!" The man ran his hands through his hair, which was loose and flowing in the growing wind.
Devon shook her head. "I haven't seen her in a while," she told Morgan, realising that it was quite more than a while since she and Bess had spoken. Was it possible that Devon subconsciously still wanted Bess out of her life, even now?
"Have you tried the ship?" asked Devon, gesturing behind her. Not many had ventured into the downed spaceship since Devon awoke, except for Alonzo who was interested in the old parts. He'd been toying with the idea of getting it off the ground again. It would certainly make the trip to New Pacifica a lot easier.
"I'm telling you, Devon, I've looked everywhere! She left her gear in our tent, it's like she just vanished off the face of the planet!"
Devon's next thought was of the Terrians. Had they come again, and taken Bess somewhere? But try as she might, there was no logical reason for the Terrians to have done that.
If Bess was lost, or hurt somewhere...how could they go on without Bess? They needed her!
Devon closed her eyes, imagining where Bess might go. She could almost see Bess in her mind, out on the plains, just out of communication range, so excited because she'd found a huge patch of an edible plant which would replenish their dwindling supplies. In fact, she was coming back right now to tell them all-
"Hey, everybody!"
Devon and Morgan jumped.
"Look what I found!" shouted Bess, racing into the camp with arms full of leaves. Devon gasped, for Bess was carrying the exact plant Devon had just envisioned.
"Bess! Where have you been!" Morgan called, abandoning Devon without a second thought. "I was so worried about you."
"Only out scouting," she replied in a friendly voice. Devon stared at the couple, stunned. How could she...it wasn't possible...what was happening to her, anyway? Somehow, Devon was connected to things she had never been close to before. It scared her.

Lightning flashed across the sky in a brilliant fork of goldwhite colour. Moments later, the companion thunder boomed across the grassy plains buffeted by fierce winds. It was a summer storm.
Eden Advance was on the move again, finally, after so long camped near Bennett's ship. Life was beginning to return to normal as the days lengthened and the sun remained longer in the sky every evening. Except on days like this, which heralded the beginning of summer, and the obvious wet season. Storms.
They were so beautiful, yet so deadly. And out in the middle of nowhere, there was no shelter for the members of Eden Advance. The vehicles were potential lightning rods, as were the colonists themselves and everything they carried with them. There was never a good mountain range close by when they needed one.
Devon sat in the passenger seat of the ATV. Danziger was on her left. Although they had not really talked since that one night, the barriers were beginning to break down. Devon had made it obvious that she was ready to spend time with him again and not run the other way.
They hadn't progressed much beyond small talk, and it achingly reminded Devon of her station-dream, when she had relentlessly pursued John Danziger but not had any reasonable explanation to give him. Yet things were also vastly different. There was no way to hide from one another here, and no interferences to keep them apart.
"I don't like the look of this storm," stated Danziger, as another violent streak tore the sky in half. Devon gasped.
"Did you see that?" she asked nervously. "The lightning?"
"No, *behind* the lightning," Devon began, not entirely sure *what* she had seen. "It was like a dark patch, something missing from the sky as if it were gone somewhere..." As Devon realised how utterly ludicrous her words sounded, she hastily amended, "It must have been the brightness affecting my eyes. The storm's getting awfully close."
"I think we should stop," said Danziger. "I agree." Devon was making a conscious effort to allow Danziger to fully share the role of leadership so that things could be more equal between them.
The vehicle rolled to a stop, and the pair quickly jumped down. They felt so terrible exposed here on the plains, as did every member of Eden Advance. "Do we do the vehicle trick again?" Danziger asked wryly. There was really no other alternative, so Devon responded, "Yes."
"Okay, everyone, you know the drill by now!" called Danziger to the gathering group. Some groaned, but others, like Morgan, were relieved and hurried to grab the waterproof sheeting from the transrover. It was quickly placed beneath the larger vehicles, and one by one, each person scrambled under a vehicle and lay flat.
From this perspective, they could watch the storm yet remain dry as long as the wind didn't blow too fiercely. Although with the intensity of this wind already, Devon didn't hold out too much hope of avoiding the rain when it finally came.
She lifted her head on her elbows and did a quick head count. Uly was beside her, and many were crammed into this tiny space beneath the transrover. They were ever so careful not to touch any part of the vehicle itself, for if lightning *did* strike, they wanted it to carefully pass away into the ground.
She looked to the left and found Danziger next to her. He grinned wryly. "Stuck here again." Devon smiled in response. Even with the most terrifying vestiges of nature raging around them, there was still something comforting about being so close to everyone. They were huddled together against the storm, and in these strange hours, everyone was a family.
"It's kind of nice," Devon murmured, as much to herself as to Danziger.
"The storm?" he queried. "Yeah, I guess it is beautiful." The clouds were so dark they were almost purple, but that wasn't what Devon had in mind.
"I was talking about us, and being together. All of us," she quickly added as she realised what her words insinuated. "Losing Eben, my experience - it just made everyone closer. I don't know what I'd do if I lost anyone now."
Danziger gently reached out to touch her hand. "You'd survive, Adair. I know you. You're a survivor, you never let anything get you down. No matter how bad the odds, or how desperate the situation is, you can always put a smile on your face," he declared.
Devon's eyes grew sad and she looked at the ground. A light rain had begun to fall and the tiny rivulets were making their way underneath the groundsheet. "You don't know that," she said sorrowfully.
"Devon, what is it?" His voice was hushed, his head next to hers, and it was as if they were in their own private world as the noise of the wind and rain intensified. No one but Devon could hear his words.
"I failed, John. I gave up. I tried to kill myself." "Devon, what are you talking about?" countered Danziger, but his words contained a tone of compassion. "Did this happen years ago? Because if it did, it doesn't matter. You've changed, you're the strongest person I've ever known."
"No, John, I'm not," she replied, her heart beating wildly at the prospect of *finally* telling him the truth. "When I was in cold sleep, I had, well, I guess you could call it a dream, but it was real to me. I can remember it perfectly."
Danziger took her hand firmly in his, and she didn't resist even though a twinge of nervousness shot through her body. He waited patiently for her to go on.
"You were in that nightmare, John. Only it was another you, but he was so much the same that I didn't let myself think of the differences. You were all I could hold on to.
"I guess I went a little crazy," Devon continued, pacing each word slowly and deliberately as she told her story. "I was on the stations, and it was a nightmarish world. Everyone had abandoned me, Uly was dead, Yale wouldn't even speak to me, Morgan was, well, how he used to be..."
Danziger desperately tried to suppress a grin at that one, but failed. But Devon was too sad to catch his mirth.
"The worst thing to me, though, was that you were married. To Bess. And no matter how much I tried, I couldn't stay away from you. I was intent on destroying your relationship, I thought that I could control the universe and everything should happen the way I wanted it to. And then there was that awful night..."
His thoughts whirling, Danziger almost missed the ominous note in Devon's last words. Him...and Bess? Now that was a new idea. But Devon was who he cared about, and he had to hear the rest of her story. "What happened, Devon?"
"You pushed me away, told me to leave you alone. And I couldn't take it. I didn't want to live anymore. So I walked out of my rooms, out of my life, with only one thing on my mind. I headed for the airlock. I was going to throw myself into space."
There. It was out. Devon had finally told someone of her failure, and was listening for the condemning words she knew were coming.
But Danziger surprised her. "Did you?" he asked. "Did I what?"
"Did you throw yourself out of an airlock?" Devon's face clouded over. "I can't remember," she admitted. "I don't remember anything after that except waking up here."
"Then you didn't fail," said Danziger with conviction. "You couldn't do it. Devon Adair never gives up." He gave her a supportive smile. "Dev, it was a *dream*. It doesn't matter."
She heard his words and lifted her head. As a gust of wind blew freezing rain all over them, she barely felt it. It was as if Danziger was forgiving her for her crazy actions, and it meant so much to her. Even if she was a Replica, she could still be redeemed and loved. Lightning flashed, and it was an eerie sign of hope.
Danziger saw that he was getting through to her, and felt a happiness creeping over his soul. Finally, if the darkness that had consumed her was gone, they could have another chance. "You're here now, as real and alive as anyone," he said.
A shadow crossed Devon's face. She abruptly pulled her hand away. "You don't know anything," she said sorrowfully.
Almost giving an exasperated groan, Danziger said, "What, Devon? I'm listening, I'm giving you a chance, I want to help you!"
"Damn it, don't you get it yet? I'm not even real!" she shouted. "Devon Adair died two and a half years ago! I'm a clone!"
The momentary revulsion on Danziger's face was all she needed to see. Devon scrambled onto her knees, and crawled out from under the transrover. She faced the others and shouted, "You may as well all know. I'm a Replica!" Tears mingled with the rainwater pouring down her face and she lifted her face to the sky.
This was it. Now everyone knew, and now she could never be a part of them again.
"I don't even belong here!" Her arms upraised, Devon screamed into the storm. "They *killed* me! They *stole* my memories! They were *using* me all along!"
She faced the clouds, the demonic power of nature stealing away her words. "I WAS ALONE!!!"
Then lightning struck. The streak of light malevolently leapt down from the clouds to encompass the entire body of Devon Adair, stealing her lifeforce and breaking through her cries. Time seemed to freeze, forever onto John Danziger's heart as he saw her pale, anguished face encircled by the light. <Alone...>
"MOM!" screamed Uly as she stood suspended in the light. "No!" shouted Julia as she realised what was happening. "Devon!" screamed Danziger as he raced from beneath the 'Rover.
"John..." whispered Devon as she crumpled to the ground.
And she was alone.

DEVON, ALONE Part V
The Dream, the Dark, and the Light (8/11)
by Nicole Mayer (destiny@wwdg.com)
"Damn it!!!"
...John? Is that you?...
"Somebody get a doctor!"
...her head hurt...
"I thought you knew what you were doing!"
...that was Morgan's voice...
"Hold on, Devon, you can't give up on us now."
...she saw flashes of gleaming metal...
"She's not gonna make it."
...there were wires everywhere...
"Put her back!"
...no, not cold sleep again...
"She can't live like this."
...live like what?...
"You cannot let her die."
...But I will not die here...

Paying no heed to the danger lurking in the sky, Danziger, Julia and Uly raced for Devon as time seemed to slow down around them. Smoke rose from the ground, and no one even wanted to think that the smoke might be coming from Devon's body.
Danziger reached her first. With the rain pouring down around him, he gently lifted her into his arms. She was so light, so fragile, and he could only hold her tight and pray for a miracle.
"Devon, you can't leave us here. You can't die! G889 is *your* world, and I can't imagine it without you," Danziger whispered as Julia took Devon's wrist and searched for a pulse.
"Mom, you promised you wouldn't leave me. You promised!" Uly screamed in an uncharacteristic display of emotion. Gone were all traces of Terrian wisdom within him, and he was nothing more than a little boy terrified of losing his mother yet again.
Julia raced towards the vehicles to retrieve her diaglove, barking orders at others to set up some kind of tent. Like it or not, the colonists were staying for a while, and the storm could go to hell for all Julia cared. In fact, she wished it would.
Images burned brightly in her mind as she searched desperately for her medical equipment - who had packed it away? Didn't they know that she tried to keep it constantly on hand? She saw the storm, and the great whirling vortex of clouds that had seemed to hover above Devon. In Devon's greatest moment of trauma, it appeared that nature had reflected her agony and brought its own fury down.
And at that moment, Julia *hated* everything about G889 that linked it to humans.
Danziger was remembering Devon's last words as he cradled her in his arms.
"I'm a replica!" "A clone!"
"Devon, if you can hear me, listen. I don't care that you're a clone. In that case, I never even met the real Devon Adair! You're the one who brought us here, and I know you. There's nothing robotic about you, Devon. You're as real as any of us." His voice dropped to a hushed whisper.
"You're the one I fell in love with." She shifted in his arms.
"That's it, Devon, fight the pain!" Danziger prompted, smoothing back her hair. "Do you hear me, Devon? We can't make it without you, we need you! You're what makes this planet real to me, it's you, Devon. Not a clone. Not a nobody."
Devon moaned.
He was getting through to her, Danziger knew it! "You're not alone. I promise you that, you'll never be alone again."
"Really?" and she spoke to him. She spoke! "Devon, you're going to make it..." She managed to open her eyes. "I know," Devon said simply. She sighed, and allowed Danziger to hold her even closer, if that was possible. "I know..."

"Devon?"
"Shhh, she's resting."
Devon opened her eyes. Once again, there was a clutter of people around her, hovering nervously. She anxiously searched their faces, looking for any signs of revulsion or disgust at what she was. Now they knew she was a Replica, and now she would discover if they truly were her friends. To her relief Devon saw nothing but kind concern.
"You had us so worried, Devon," Bess said kindly, and in that moment, Devon knew that Bess had forgiven her. She felt a strange connection with Bess, as if she'd been there when Devon was struck by the lightning. Maybe she had, in spirit.
Devon became aware that her hand was being held by John Danziger, and finally, she did not flinch away. His presence was nice, comforting, and a warmth radiated from his eyes. Had she heard correctly in the moments between waking and forever sleep? Did he say that he loved her?
Looking directly at him, Devon opened her mouth to ask, but thought better of it. It could wait until they were alone. For the moment, she had to know if everyone realised what she was.
"Does everyone know?" she asked Danziger. "Do they understand?"
He was confused, so Julia took the question. "If you mean that you were cloned, then yes, we know. It doesn't matter."
Devon allowed herself a brief smile. "That was why I didn't have a biostat implant," she revealed. "I have a different kind of chip...I think..."
"Julia, you said you couldn't find anything!" Morgan added. Devon suddenly noticed that he had his arm around Bess. Good.
Frowning, Julia acknowledged, "I didn't. Devon, are you sure about all of this?"
"The Terrians showed me," Devon admitted. "I didn't want to tell anyone. I didn't know how you'd react and I didn't think I even really belonged here."
"But you do," said Uly, his arms wrapped around her arm as if that would stop her from leaving him again. "You're my real Mom, and I don't care if you used to be a clone."
"Uly-" began Devon, sensing that he didn't quite understand. But then she stopped. Uly's real mother was dead, but she was as close as he could get. And Uly felt like a son to her, he *was* her son in almost every sense and she would not permit anything to destroy that bond. When he was older, perhaps she could explain.
Devon looked around again, realising that not everyone was present. "Where's Alonzo?" she asked. Eyes shifted away from her, almost guiltily.
"He went on ahead, scouting or something," said Danziger gruffly. "Maybe you don't want to hear this, Dev, but he's feeling pretty weird about the whole situation. He, and Yale and Uly, are the only ones who really...uh...knew you before it happened, I mean, knew the old you, or-" Danziger broke off, knowing he was making it worse by the second.
And then Devon realised that Yale was missing too. Tears threatened to blur her vision, but she fought them. She was past this. The old Devon Adair would *never* have given into emotion as much as she had recently. To be Devon Adair was to be strong. That was what she had to remember.
Besides, most of her close friends were with her now. Julia, Bess, Morgan (and she reflected how strange it was that all this had only served to bring her and Morgan closer together) and of course, Danziger. The people she had come to trust with her life, and they trusted her as well.
No, it was more than trust. It was friendship and acceptance no matter what she was. Devon didn't believe that Yale would abandon her, nor would Alonzo. They had been through too much together for that to happen. And she would prove to them that she was as much of Devon Adair as the original.
Briefly, Devon thought back to her nightmare. She realised now how many signs and clues there had been as to her true nature - the sensation of isolation, the blinding headaches... Devon removed her arm from Uly's grip and rubbed her temples. The pain was there again, it rose and diminished in waves.
"You'll probably have a headache for quite some time," Julia explained, noticing Devon's actions. "Not many people can take that much electrical current through their body and live. You were very lucky."
"I know," Devon said again. Yet she couldn't help but feel as though luck had nothing to do with it.

Eden Advance moved onwards, continually following the sun across the heavens and only spending the briefest hours camped when it was dark. As the days were longer and hotter, Devon reflected that if they didn't come down from the high ground soon (Yale had calculated they were travelling on a great plateau) they might have to travel by night, and sleep during the day when the intense heat made it near-impossible to go on.
It was something Devon was giving a lot of thought to. It kept her mind from worrying about Danziger and the strange new relationship that had sprung up between them.
He was giving Devon her space. Sometimes she wished Danziger would just throw caution to the wind and kiss her, but other times she shivered at the thought. Scars ran deep on Devon Adair's soul, the legacy of other times when she'd allowed herself to become involved with someone. But if Danziger didn't make a move soon, well, then, Devon would take matters into her own hands.
Her mouth curved up in the corners at that thought. To run her fingers through the mass of golden hair, to bring his lips close to her own, to feel the gentle yet strong touch on...
"Devon!"
Devon jumped, aware that she was blushing furiously. She'd let her thoughts get carried away again, and just hoped that no one had been watching her. Eyes had a way of revealing a person's deepest secrets even when they were in thought.
"Yes, Baines?" she asked. Devon was glad it wasn't Danziger calling to her, because she didn't think she'd be able to face him right now.
Baines held out a set of gear. "Solace wants to talk to you. Says it's real important."
Devon took the proffered gear, and placed it on her head. Alonzo was scouting ahead as usual while the rest of them lumbered on through the heat. "Yes?" Devon asked the instant his image appeared before her eyes.
"We're stuck," Alonzo said bluntly. "I found the edge of the plateau and there's no way down."
"What?"
Alonzo allowed his gear to pick up visuals behind him. Devon could see the gigantic cliffs which Alonzo stood above, and a huge drop down into nothingness. She could barely see the land below.
"I had no idea we were so high," Devon murmured. They'd been climbing steadily for weeks, but they must have been fairly high to begin with. Apparently, the entire centre of the continent was raised.
"Yeah, well, we are this high. And basically, we're stuck up here 'cause there's no way down." Alonzo was speaking again, and this time his voice was more agitated. "As far as I can see in either direction, there isn't gonna be a way down either."
Devon didn't believe it. There was *no* way that Eden Advance could have come this far only to be stopped by the edge of a mountain.
"What did you do at the canyon?" she suddenly reminded Alonzo, thinking back to a time near the beginning of their journey. "Remember, you attached parachutes to the vehicles and floated down."
"Sorry, Devon, that's not going to work this time. It's too far."
Devon heard the note of defeat in Alonzo's voice, and was suddenly afraid. What if they truly were stuck up here? Or if they had to travel thousands of klicks out of their way to be able to reach the plains below...then so much time would be lost and the colonist ship would arrive at New Pacifica long before they got there.
"I don't believe it," Devon stated, feeling a numbness creep through her. She didn't want to accept that a hopeless situation had finally crossed their path. She wouldn't accept it!
"I'm coming out there," she briskly said, knowing that Alonzo was past any qualms he had over Devon's sudden revelations of being a Replica. Once he was past the initial shock, Alonzo had told Devon he was sorry about the whole situation. Her history just took some getting used to.
"Danziger!" Devon called as soon as she closed the gear channel. She pointed at the DuneRail. "We're going out after Alonzo."
The race to the precipice was full of tension. Once Devon had explained the situation and Danziger comprehended the seriousness of it all, they were quiet and nervous.
"There has to be a way down," Devon said as the vehicle jolted over a particularly large rock. "Maybe Alonzo didn't look hard enough."
"'Lonz knows how to scout," replied Danziger gruffly. "If he says we're stuck-"
"But we can't be!" jumped in Devon. A sudden flash of wisdom crossed her features. "We're not trapped. I can feel it."
Finally, the figure of Alonzo and his vehicle appeared in the distance. He waved lethargically, the defeat on his face obvious. When Danziger stopped the vehicle beside the younger man, Alonzo said, "You didn't have to come out here so fast. We won't be going anywhere anytime soon."
Devon clambered down from the vehicle and began walking towards the edge. Already she could see the view, an incredible sensation of *nothingness*, a vast empty space that seemed to extend forever. Even all the way home to New Pacifica.
She closed her eyes. Yale had been wrong about their height, but that was nothing new. They'd learnt long ago that the Councilprovided maps were grossly inaccurate.
"There is a path," she whispered. Then Devon said it a little louder, "There will be a path." Neither Danziger nor Alonzo could hear her words as she stepped closer to the edge, her eyes still firmly closed. "There is a path."
And somehow, the landscape *shifted*. Devon couldn't quite explain the feeling, she only knew that something had changed. The Terrians? They seemed so close to her now...and she opened her eyes.
Below her was the terrifying drop Alonzo had promised, and Devon almost gasped as she realised how close she was to the edge. She was compelled to turn her eyes northward, and allowed herself a huge sigh of relief.
There was an outcrop of rock. Better still, the walls of the cliff suddenly flattened, into a meandering hill that would provide the perfect route down. Stepping back from the edge, Devon was tempted to do a happy Grendler dance but instead called to the two men.
"Look!" and she pointed.
The shock on Alonzo's face was clearly evident. "What the...Devon, John, I swear that wasn't there five minutes ago..."
Danziger's voice took on a concerned tone. "Maybe you need some rest, 'Lonz. You've been scouting alone in this heat, and sometimes, well, that makes a man see things that aren't there."
"No," said Alonzo, shaking his head and backing away from the pair. "I know what I saw. Believe me when I tell you, that hill wasn't there."
"What, you're saying it just appeared?" Danziger released an incredulous snort. "Look, let me call Julia. She knows more about heatstroke than me."
Still shaking his head, Alonzo allowed himself another glance to the north. He couldn't deny the fact that a beautiful slope was there now, a slope just perfect for directing the vehicles down. Danziger could be right, the heat may have been getting to him.
"Maybe I *should* get back to the group," Alonzo finally conceded.
"No, we'll stay here until they catch up," decided Devon. "In the meantime, you, Alonzo, are going to get some rest." The three constructed a small patch of shade by positioning the vehicles side by side, and Alonzo settled into this.
"See?" Devon smiled enigmatically, surprised at her inner knowledge. But it didn't feel strange, it felt natural. "I told you there was a way down."
"Yeah," replied Danziger, giving her a very odd look. "Guess you were right again."
Words echoed unbidden to Devon's ears, a phrase shouted in anger so long ago. "This is not your planet, you're not God here!" But maybe it was...maybe Devon's destiny was intertwined with something greater than she'd ever imagined.
She didn't consider the alternative possibility, the one that would leave her screaming in horror because she was happy now and didn't want anything to destroy her tranquil lifestyle. She had a life and it was, finally, near-perfect.

DEVON, ALONE Part V
The Dream, the Dark, and the Light (9/11)
by Nicole Mayer. (destiny@wwdg.com)
That evening, Eden Advance camped at the edge of the plateau. "It's like being able to see into forever," Bess had said, and everyone agreed with her. The moons rose high from the horizon, and it was an eerie feeling seeing the orbs coming from beneath them rather than peeking above land at an equal height.
Truly, this was a magical place.
Morgan wanted to name it, as he did any remotely significant place the group encountered on their seemingly endless journey. Yet he wasn't trying to name it after himself. Everyone knew there was something innately special about this place. It was a place where dreams were to begin, or to end.
"We should name it after Eden Advance," suggested Morgan, pleased to hear the chorus of assent. "Years in the future, when people travel past, there should be something here to remind them of us. Of the struggle we went through to get here."
"New Pacifica is still a very long distance away," Yale cautioned.
"Yes, I know, but look at what we've accomplished so far!" Morgan said vehemently. "I've never felt so much of a -teambefore. I know that when we got here, I wasn't much help..."
"That's an understatement if I ever heard one," grunted Danziger, and there were low chuckles from everyone in hearing distance. Even Morgan himself smiled.
"I know, I guess I was a pain in the-" "Morgan!" broke in Bess, pointing to the children. He swallowed to recompose his thoughts.
"What I'm trying to say is that this planet has changed me. We've all learnt so much about each other here." He looked at Devon, and she felt the need to say something.
"I want to thank you all for accepting me back," she said simply. "More than that, your continued trust in me as a leader has been wonderful."
"We wouldn't have it any other way, Devon," said Baines, smiling at her. "Even if your history is sorta, well, confusing."
"The same is true for all of us," said Julia. "Devon isn't the only one with a hidden past." She paused, allowing everyone to reflect on Julia's actions when she was working for the Council. "This group, us, we've accomplished so much. Even if we never get to New Pacifica, I know that we've achieved something."
Alonzo was nodding vigorously. "So what kind of name do you have in mind, Morgan?"
"Well actually, I'm still working on that..." A chorus of laughter broke out, and then gradually, the group began to break up. The name would come to them in time.
Devon found herself walking beside Yale as she contemplated Morgan's change. And her own change. What Julia had said was so true, their extreme circumstances had brought them together like nothing else in the universe. There were only a few remaining problems.
Like her relationship with Yale. Devon stopped, and said his name. Yale gave her the oddest look, and she couldn't help but feel as if she were being examined under a microscope.
She opened her mouth to speak, but Yale beat her to it. "I want to apologise," he said gravely. "I have been avoiding you since your revelation, and that was wrong of me. I did not think of your feelings because I was concentrating on my own."
"It's okay, Yale," Devon reassured him. "I need to apologise as well, for trying to cut you out of my life."
Yale nodded, but said, "That doesn't matter, Devon. What I want you to understand is that...I should have noticed when *you* came into my life, and Uly's. It was my duty to look after you, and I failed. I did not know that the original Devon Adair had died."
"You couldn't have known," Devon said softly. "Even I didn't know. That's how good a match they were able to make." She still felt extremely strange talking about herself in the third person. Devon supposed she would gradually get used to it, especially as she felt that she belonged on G889. For the third time, Devon realised that she was connected to the planet.
"Nonetheless, I am sorry. I hope that you can forgive me." "Of course I can, Yale," promised Devon, and she hugged him. "We're alike in some ways. Your mind, your body - the Council did things to you as well. But you survived, and so did I." She smiled at him, and felt the age-old connection from this man who may as well have been her father.
"Yes, we did. Goodnight, Devon," Yale said, giving her one last squeeze. Then they parted ways, and Devon had the strangest feeling as she watched his retreating back. There was something about this night...
When she turned, she saw Alonzo and Julia behind her, headed for the water tank. Devon jogged to catch them, and the three walked in companionable silence. There was something so normal about the nightly ritual, a drink, and a talk, before bed, but they hadn't done this for a very long time.
Alonzo handed Devon a mug. "How are you?" she asked. "What? Oh, the heatstroke or whatever," Alonzo replied. "Julia took a look at me, said there wasn't anything wrong. I don't even have a headache so it mustn't have been bad."
"That's good," acknowledged Devon. She filled her mug with water and watched both Julia and Alonzo do the same. "Isn't this the most incredible place you've ever seen?"
"Yeah, you did great, Devon," said Alonzo sincerely, referring not only to their journey across the continent but also to her personal struggle. He touched her on the arm and said, "I'm glad you brought us here." Looking at Julia, he added, "This place is like magic."
A chittering behind one of the nearby vehicles startled the three. "Kobas?" suggested Julia, turning and straining to see through the shadows.
"Probably. I'll go check it out 'cause I don't want any more creatures stealing our supplies," Alonzo declared. "I'll see you later," he whispered to Julia, and Devon smiled at the obvious love between the pair.
As Alonzo disappeared into the darkness, Devon sighed. "You've found a perfect match in Alonzo," she told Julia. The doctor smiled shyly, aware of Devon's own longing. "I know."
"It was funny, at the start," continued Devon. "Watching him flirt with you, and watching you try to get away from him! I never thought Alonzo would fall in love."
"I never thought I would, either," Julia revealed. "And what about you, Devon?"
"Me?"
"You don't have to pretend," she said. "I've come a long way to be able to call you a friend and so have you."
Devon stared at Julia, remembering her resolution to tell her friend just how much she meant to Devon. "You're right. Julia, I don't know what I'd do without you. I need to say thank you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for helping me to trust people with my heart."
Julia smiled warmly, every trace of the once-cold doctor forever extinguished from her eyes. "Devon-" But instead of speaking, they embraced as true friends. And another small part of Devon's life fell into place.
She stared at the stars and smiled. "Everything's almost perfect," Devon whispered. A shooting star blazed past, reminding her of midnight conversations with John. The final problem in this magical place.
"Go talk to him," said Julia suddenly. "He loves you. And you love him, don't you." It was more of a statement than a question, and it was perfectly true.
"I do," Devon admitted.
"Then tell him." Devon stared at Julia, and suddenly decided to do exactly that. It was a night of resolutions, of everything reaching perfect completion. And during this night of strange magic, she would tell John how she felt.
"Thank you," she told Julia one last time. Then she walked away, turning back for one instant. Julia was framed in a moonbeam of light, smiling serenely, and Devon knew that she would never forget that moment. Whatever the future brought.
"Mom!" called Uly, racing up to her. "True says she put a koba in my bed and that it'll shoot me so I won't wake up for a week and when I do wake up you'll all be gone and I'll be left behind!"
Devon laughed. Would the two children ever stop fighting and get along? Then again, they were behaving more and more like brother and sister every day. "Ulysses, listen to me. True didn't really put a koba in your bed, I'm sure she's just trying to scare you."
"No she's not," Uly said vehemently. "She had one in her backpack again, and she said that it will do anything for her!"
Shaking her head, Devon realised that this was the perfect opportunity to call Danziger over. "John!" she shouted, for she could see him sitting by the fire. "Could you come here for a moment?"
He stood up and strode across the clearing. Devon felt a rush of love for this man, who was such a significant presence in her life. On his way over, Devon explained the situation. "Do you want to talk this out with True?"
Devon was trying hard *not* to tell him how to raise his daughter, and she could see that Danziger appreciated that fact. Nonetheless, neither could allow the girl to terrorise Uly.
"Okay, I'll talk to her," promised Danziger. "How about right now?"
Danziger nodded, then asked, "Where is she?" He looked around the campsite blankly.
"Right over there," said Uly, pointing. A small smirk appeared on his face, True was gonna get it now!
"Where?" quizzed Danziger again, spinning and looking straight past his daughter. "True?"
"She's right there!" The girl reluctantly slipped out from the shadows and approached the small group. A flicker of confusion crossed Danziger's face which he quickly hid.
"Were you trying to scare Uly again?" True ducked her head. "It was only a joke," she muttered, scuffing the ground with her foot. "I wouldn't *really* put a koba in his bed."
"I think you owe him an apology," said Danziger gruffly. The girl sighed heavily, and uttered a quick, "Sorry."
"You can do better than that."
True finally looked up, traces of insolence in her eyes. Her voice was stiff as she said, "I'm sorry, Ulysses."
"That's better now." Devon was nodding in agreement. "Now do you think you can go to bed?" she asked her son. Uly was still frowning. He pulled Devon's head down and whispered, "Can you still check my bed for me?"
"Okay," she promised, then straightened and mouthed a silent thanks to Danziger. Aloud, she said, "I need to talk to you."
"Me too," he agreed. "By the fire in ten minutes?" Devon nodded, holding his gaze for a little longer than necessary. Then Uly tugged on her arm, so she reluctantly turned towards their tent to put her son to bed.
Pulling back the light cover to prove without a doubt that nothing was lurking in or around the small cot, Devon was gratified to see the relief in Uly's eyes. He crawled into bed, and Devon tucked him in.
"Thank you, Mom," he murmured, his voice tiny and so childlike.
"Now you have good dreams tonight, Ulysses. And when you wake up in the morning, we're going to go down a mountain."
"Should be real fun," he said sleepily, already dreaming of the new morning. He would beat True to the bottom, he would!
"I love you, Ulysses," whispered Devon, leaning down to kiss him on the cheek.
He reached up his arms to give her one last hug, and told her, "I love you too."
"See you in the morning, honey." Devon left the tent, smiling about her son. She noted Danziger already waiting by the fire and her heartbeat quickened a little. Glancing around, Devon noted that the campsite was empty as the other colonists had already retired to bed. Everything was perfect.
"Hi," Devon said softly as she reached Danziger's side. "Hi," he replied just as softly. Feeling bold, Devon took his hand. "John-" "Devon-" he said at exactly the same moment, "we need to talk."
"No," Devon replied, determined to have no more interruptions. No storms, no secrets, and no other people to distract them. She was facing Danziger now and they were finally so close.
"No more talking. No more words." She could see the firelight dancing behind him, and the starglow reflected in his eyes. Ever so slowly, Devon reached up one hand to softly caress his cheek. Blood was pounding through her veins as she realised that this was it, this was *the* moment. His eyes locked with hers, and she was drawn closer and closer to him until...
He pulled away. "Devon, wait. There's something I have to tell you first."
"What?" she almost snapped, red colouring her cheeks. "I heard you that day when I almost died, you said that you loved me. Now I'm telling you, John, that I love you. What more is there to say?"
She wrapped her arms around his neck, horribly aware that Danziger's arms were still hanging by his *own* sides.
"No wait, Devon, you don't understand..." "What could I possibly not understand?" she burst out in frustration. "I've been to hell and back, I know all there is to know about pushing feelings aside. And I'm not going to take it anymore!" She felt Danziger pulling away from her embrace, and a terrible fear seized her heart. "Kiss me, dammit!"
"I can't," he said simply. Devon stared straight at him. No, this wasn't possible. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. It was supposed to be the perfect night, where all of her dreams came true.
And they *would* come true. They had to! Slowly, Devon opened her mouth. She felt the beginning of an instruction in the back of her throat, and all the while part of her was screaming <no, no, don't do this, you don't want to do this, it will destroy everything no don't no don't no don't> but she couldn't stop the words from coming.
"Activate..."
<don't do this Devon, if you do then the dream will be over and you will *know*>
"...program voice command..."
<no Devon no Devon no Devon>
"...modify character John Danziger..."
And she gasped in horror at what she had done. She gasped in horror at comprehension of the truth. She gasped in horror at the look of sadness in John Danziger's eyes. And she gasped in horror as the *real* memories flooded back.
She was still in the Program.

DEVON, ALONE Part V
The Dream, the Dark, and the Light (10/11)
by Nicole Mayer. (destiny@wwdg.com)
"You knew," said Danziger as Devon stumbled backward, barely hearing his words. The Stations were real, that nightmare, it had actually happened...and that was where she was *now*, stuck in some virtual reality chamber.
No wonder she had felt a connection with the planet. She controlled it! Now she could remember it all so clearly, the agony of realising the station-Danziger didn't love her, the desire to put an end to the misery, and the innate knowledge that she didn't belong on the stations anyway.
No, as a Replica, a computer copy of a person, she belonged within a computer generated world. It was her destiny. And that's what she'd decided, only moments before pressing the release seal on the airlock. Devon had secretly made her way back to the Program she owned, and literally plugged herself in. She wanted no witnesses, no one to come after her. As far as the stations could be concerned, she was dead.
Now Devon could remember the pain. She had placed the wires into her head by herself, not really caring if they became eternally fused with the delicate membrane of her skull. There had been a terrible, painful jolt of electricity as the merge took hold, destroying the Replica circuitry implanted into her head. Then she had forgotten everything she needed to and begun to float in the darkness. Back to her world, her G889. With the only friends a Replica could ever have.
Tears momentarily clouded Devon's vision. She fought them back and forced her breathing to slow. <It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter> she coached herself over and over. <This life on G889 is the best thing you could have, it's the only life for you.>
She raised her eyes to John Danziger, still standing silently before her. There was nothing she could do to take back the revelation, but she could try her hardest to forget it. All she had to do was modify Danziger's character so that he would love her, and everything would be perfect. She would live and die in this celluloid world happily...
"Voice command." Devon spoke more confidently as memories of the modifications she'd made came back to her. She directed her instructions upwards, although the commands would take effect no matter how she said them. "Access character John Danziger. Make him more...loving. More romantic. In love with..."
"Stop," came a voice, and Devon blinked in surprise. Danziger was speaking to *her*. But he shouldn't be doing that! She ignored him and continued her commands.
"Devon, stop," he said again. "I'm not who you think I am. I'm not him."
She did stop then, and looked carefully at him. He was right, there was something about his stance, something about his hair, something about his eyes...
They were the eyes of the station John Danziger. "What the hell are you doing here?" Devon spat, outraged and humiliated at the same time. How dare he invade her private world? How dare he pretend that he cared?
"I came in here after you," he said simply. His words were direct and honest, and Devon, suddenly so confused, was compelled to believe him.
"Why?" she asked, her voice beginning to tremble. "Because I couldn't picture my life without you in it." Devon's knees grew weak, and she swayed dangerously. But John Danziger, a *real* John Danziger, was there to catch her. He held her gently by the waist.
"Listen to me, Devon. I did a lot of thinking after that night." They both knew exactly what night he was referring to, the night when Devon had thrown herself at him and it ended in tears. "And I found out some things about you, and what the Council had done to you. Why didn't you tell me?"
"Tell you what?"
"That you were a Replica?" Danziger's eyes searched Devon's for answers.
"I didn't know," she said in a small voice. Danziger would have once been angered by her words, but he was past all that now. He would make the Council pay for what they had done later.
"But you do know."
And that was true as well, for on some small subconscious level, Devon had known that she wasn't human. The feeling hadn't been definable, and she hadn't even been able to put it into words until the Terrians showed her the truth. A truth, it turned out, that had been locked away in her own mind, something she hadn't been able to reach until just recently. It was the last legacy of the real Devon Adair.
"I've been watching you in this program..." continued Danziger.
"For how long?" Devon snapped. "Just like Blalock and Reilly, are you? The watcher who wants to control my destiny? And then you came in here and invaded my world and you ruined everything! Everything!"
"No!" protested Danziger, feeling her body trembling in his grasp. "I wanted to find you, Devon. I couldn't believe that you were dead. And then I discovered that the Program was running..."
"Yes, the Program was running," Devon broke in, then gave a harsh, sarcastic laugh. "Poor crazy Devon went and threw herself into virtual reality. Well I'm staying here," she declared. "It's where I belong. I don't have a life on the stations. I couldn't even make friends!"
"No, Devon, you did," protested Danziger. "How do you think I got here? Morgan, Kassidy - they both wanted to help you as well. And so did Yale, when he found out the truth. Only..." Danziger realised he had better keep quiet about Yale's fate for the time being. The termination...
Devon suddenly remembered the voices hovering above her after she'd been struck by lightning. He could be telling the truth, for John's voice had been there, along with Morgan's, and Bess/Kassidy saying, "You cannot let her die."
But no, they wouldn't come after her. She didn't deserve it, and they shouldn't be worrying about a Replica like her. Devon summoned all of her resolve to push Danziger away a final time.
"I want you out of here," she said in a steely voice. "I'm not leaving without you," he replied just as evenly. "Damn it, John, go away! This is *my* life here!" she repeated. "I was happy before you showed up! I was happy..." Her anguished voice wistfully trailed off.
"How can you live like this?" Danziger countered. "How can you live knowing that every moment of your life is a lie? You're a real person, Devon Adair! I heard these virtual characters telling you that, and you *believed* them! Or is that the only fantasy you can handle?"
"You don't understand," protested Devon despondently. "No, you're the one who doesn't understand. You can't stay here forever. Sooner or later, the program is going to break down. Reality will fall apart, or maybe the computers keeping your body alive will begin to malfunction. Do you really want that?"
"It's better than being alone!"
"Devon, you're not going to be alone!" Danziger shouted, hoping desperately to get through to her. "I promise, I won't let you be alone!"
"But you won't love me."
"And is it better to be in love with a computer image?" Danziger sighed in frustration and ran one hand through his hair and Devon used the opportunity to step further away. "Devon, come back with me. Leave this world," he pleaded.
"Why don't you just pull me out?" she said bitterly, knowing that her dream-like life on G889 was over. All of her hopes and dreams had crashed around her, and she had nothing left. Everything was gone.
"Listen to me, Devon. If you don't come with me soon, you will die. We already tried to pull you out - remember the lightning strike?"
She nodded.
"You felt real pain then, because there's a feedback loop in the circuitry. We can't bring you out - you know, you managed to mess up those wires in your head pretty good," Danziger added darkly. "The only way out is if you willingly leave."
Devon stared straight at him, trying to make sense of her feelings. She knew now that she could not stay here on G889. She couldn't pretend any longer. But could she face a life on the outside?
"Devon," pleaded Danziger, "Come with me. You *do* have a life on the stations. We have a war against the Council to win! It began as your fight, your personal vendetta against the Council, but now it gives hope to thousands of people. I promise, Devon, we will *not* leave you alone."
Devon began to slowly nod. "And what about you?" she asked, her voice small and hesitant. "What will you...how do you...where..." She was unable to get her thoughts into coherent sentences.
"Where do *we* stand?" asked Danziger, understanding her perfectly. Devon nodded. "Right now, I don't know," he admitted. "But what I do know is that I want you in my life. We can start over. I want to get to know you better, the *real* Devon Adair, the one who is in control of all her memories. The real Devon Adair who isn't being manipulated by the Council."
Devon stifled a small sob. "The real Devon Adair is dead." "No she's not," Danziger declared. "She lives in you. She *is* you."
Devon looked up into his blue eyes. They showed no hostility, no fear, only the promise of understanding.
"Come with me, Devon," he said again. He reached out his hands. And finally she took them.
"Okay," she said in a small voice. "Okay." Danziger was right, it was time for her to start living again. Devon drew in a deep breath, and took one last look at the world around her. G889, the planet that had meant so much for the last year of her life. Her friends, the incredible Eden Advance. Julia and Uly - it was time to say farewell to them forever. She stared up at the strange, alien sky with the two luminescent moons and whispered, "Goodbye." Then she closed her eyes.
"End program."
Reality shimmered and *shifted* out of existence. The Program closed down forever, and with it went every person Devon had loved. A single tear trailed down her cheek. She opened her eyes.
There was nothing but darkness, the familiar darkness of the metal and wires that surrounded her. She was intensely afraid until she heard a familiar voice. "Hold tight, Devon. We're going to cut you out of this."
A buzzing sounded near her ear. It was the sound of a sophisticated laser drill that began to cut through the connections and forever destroyed the intricate circuitry of the Program. She wanted to cringe as the wires were pulled from her head, but then realised that she was still strapped into the body suit. There was no pain - of course Danziger had considered that - and she felt as if...as if...she were *finally* being cut free.
The visual projectors were lifted from her face, and she could see again. It was her second awakening in this room of horror, but this time, it was more like birth into a new life. She watched with an inner calm as Morgan and Kassidy removed the suit and then, her body shaking, Devon stood up.
She looked around, nervous for a moment, but then she saw John Danziger and knew that, somehow, it would be alright. She had a lot to get through, and a lot to deal with, but she knew she could make it now. Especially with new friends beside her.
Devon walked to John, and ignoring the weakness in her arm, she held out her hand in a gesture of greeting. Lifting her eyes to his face, she said her first words as a new person.
"Hello. My name is Devon Adair."

DEVON, ALONE Part V
The Dream, the Dark, and the Light (11/11)
by Nicole Mayer. (destiny@wwdg.com)
EPILOGUE
Devon Adair stood by the viewport, watching the ship gracefully glide into dock. A small flutter of nervousness and excitement touched her heart. She had a friend to greet.
Two years had passed since her new life began, and so much had happened since then. The fight against the Council, the revelation of Replicas all over the station, and her own personal life of learning to deal with truth. She had survived.
No. It was more than survival. She had won the terrible fight against the darkness, and she had truly begun to live again.
Devon briefly closed her eyes, imagining the first view of the cocky pilot's face. Alonzo Solace - would he be anything *like* the one she'd known in the program? Probably not, she realised sadly. Although the station Morgan Martin *had* changed, so anything was possible.
She wondered how Alonzo would react. After all, he barely knew her. But Devon would reach out, and try to make a difference in his life. G889 had taught her that change was possible within everyone, even those who thought their lives were perfect to begin with.
There he was, a dark head poking out of the hatch. That cheeky saunter Devon recalled from the old days, the one that said, "I am Alonzo Solace, the best pilot in the galaxy!" Devon smiled ruefully.
For a moment, she toyed with an idea. A dangerous idea, involving retrieval of a holographic character, a beautiful young doctor who could make a difference in Alonzo's life... But just as quickly, Devon discarded the notion. She had learnt that she couldn't control peoples lives for them, and she couldn't live a lie. No one could.
Devon sighed, and whispered a quick prayer that someday, she would find someone like Julia out there. And in the same breath, she remembered Ulysses and hoped he was happy.
Then she squared her shoulders, and made her way to the lower level. She had a friend to greet, and she was Devon Adair. Who was never alone.
-The End-

This text file was ran through PERL script made by Andy. Original text file is available in Andy's Earth 2 Fan Fiction Archive.