MIDNIGHT VIGIL
By
Nicole Mayer
Timeline: On way to New Pacifica
Author's E-Mail: destiny@bluesky.net.au or destiny@wwdg.com.
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
A certain D&D-er asked me to write something sweet and romantic ("happy, no angst, sappy"). So I took time out from "The Rivers of Blood" to tell you this short tale. I couldn't keep the angst out of it, but it is happy and sappy. :)For reference, ten metres is about 30 feet. (I think.)
Disclaimer: The characters and situations contained within are the property of Universal/Amblin Entertainment.
Maggie - this is for you.
Midnight Vigil.
By Nicole Mayer (destiny@wwdg.com)
23 November 1998.His breathing finally begins to settle and I smile with relief. There is no more agitated tossing and turning; it seems he has finally drifted into a deep, healing sleep. Gently, I reach out one hand to brush his golden curls away from his eyes and reflect that he really needs a haircut. I would never have dared touch him like this during the daytime, when either he or the others could see me, but the night seems seclusive enough.
There is always a special magic to the night. It lets us say things we wouldn't normally say, do things we wouldn't usually do. But every time dawn comes, those long, sweet moments of watching him breathe are gone.
How many times, I wonder, have I sat in this very position keeping vigil beside John Danziger's bed? In the corner, True is curled up in a chair, fast asleep, but there is a worried furrow in her forehead. I contemplate waking her up and telling her not to worry, her father's sleeping peacefully now, but I don't want to disturb her.
Actually, it's more selfish than that. I don't want to disturb my own silent contemplation of this man - this infuriating, stubborn man - who has almost gotten himself killed *again* today. He claimed it was for the good of the group but why does he always go out on such a limb? He takes unwise risks and puts himself in danger without a thought for his own life, and there is nothing I can do to stop him. When John Danziger gets a thought in his head not even an object-wielding evil maniac can get in his way. I should have him tied down for a month.
The tiniest of moans escapes his lips and I become instantly alert, leaning closer, listening intently for any more changes. Maybe he is remembering today's incident at the cliff. "Just a little further," he'd said, leaning out in an attempt to see what lay beneath us through the fog of swirling mist. And of course the cliff had to crumble.
My heart almost stopped - in fact, I think it did - when I saw him go over. I wanted to scream but True more than made up for me in that department. Besides, I had to keep calm for the good of the group.
We were lucky today. He fell only a few metres, maybe ten or so, before hitting a ledge. He plunged a hole straight through the clouds too, so at least we could see him for a while until the wind swirled more mist in to surround us. Honestly, it's like another world up here when the clouds roll in.
Where was I? That's right, Danziger had gotten himself a concussion and a broken arm as well as numerous bruises which isn't too bad considering that he *fell off a cliff*. A cliff. I still can't believe the trouble this man gets himself into. Nearly dying in the desert from lack of water, then exposure, a worm bullet, trapped in ten tonnes of solid rock...it's a wonder that he's still alive. Yet here we are, fifteen months (or what we used to think of as months) on our way to New Pacifica and he hasn't managed to kill himself yet.
His actions make him all the more endearing, I suppose. Would I feel the same way about John Danziger if he wasn't so headstrong? And how do I feel, anyway? I wonder about that for a long time this night as I sit silently, watching the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he dreams, peacefully, I hope. Another part of me hopes that he is dreaming about me.
He's given me so much on this journey. A no-nonsense attitude, a voice of reason (or opposition upon occasion) but most of all, his trust. Once he had given me his personal stamp of approval, it was like the world had suddenly became brighter. I - I think I love him.
I can never tell him that in the waking hours but now, this soft sweet night where clouds billow around our tents and beg to be told secrets, the restraint inside me begins to crumble. I don't know what I would do without this man in my life and it terrifies me. What's even more frightening is the thought of telling him so.
A half-smile curves across his face and now I know for sure that he is sleeping peacefully. Again I lift my hand to his face, but this time I'm feeling bolder and I caress his cheek. A sigh of contentment escapes his lips.
"John," I whisper so very, very softly, leaning close to his ear. "I - I'm glad you're okay. So very, very glad. You don't know what you mean to me." I wonder if he can hear me, deep in his dreams, perhaps its a faraway voice of comfort and love. I can only hope so. I let my hand drift to his chest, ever so lightly pressing there, so that I can feel the steady beat which promises that once again, he has cheated death and is alive.
Suddenly, his hand wanders up from his side and catches mine. I freeze - what if he wakes up and finds me touching him in such an intimate caress? Yet it feels wonderful to hold his hand and I find myself smiling contentedly. Rarely are we given the opportunity to be so close. I close my eyes and muster up my courage to face the truth. "I love you, John," I whisper.
A gentle chuckling shakes me from my blissful imagination and to my horror, I see Danziger's blue eyes are open and watching me. Oh god. Did he hear me? Frantic, I begin to pull my hand away from his but he holds it even tighter. "Hi," he says softly.
"Uh...what you heard...um...."
"It's okay," he gently interrupts. He stares so deep into my eyes that I feel I'm drowning in *him*. I can't tear my gaze away; I don't want to and I feel as if I'm seeing deep into his soul. Is he looking into mine?
"After all these months, and I never realised...." John finally says, breaking the intense silent.
Half afraid, I ask, "Realised what?"
"That you loved me."
"I'm sorry," I say.
Again, he laughs. "I wasn't finished yet. I never realised that you loved me, but it's more than that. I never realised how I felt about you."
Too afraid to even ask the question, I stare at him mutely.
"I love you, Julia." He says it sincerely, honestly, and with so much hidden passion as he pulls me close for an intense kiss that takes my breath away.
Outside, the clouds roll past.
-The End-
Comments most welcome to destiny@wwdg.com
This text file was ran through PERL script made by Andy. Original text file is available in Andy's Earth 2 Fan Fiction Archive.