THE JOURNEY CONTINUED SAGA (PART 5)
EVERYTHING'S NEW AGAIN
By
Paula Sanders
Timeline: After "Moon Cross" (Day 61)
Author's E-Mail: paula.sanders@shawnee.org
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Keep hanging in there with me, folks. We're almost there. Just this not so little character study, which I had a great time writing and then we'll hit the beach. Hope you enjoy reading it. Sorry, in advance, for the length author's notes.Authors Note: Thanks to everyone involved in bringing us New PacifiCon '96. And to the cast and crew who were able to join the fun, and were incredibly gracious and open. It was great to meet up with the fans, people I had only e-mailed before. I miss you all. It was inspirational to stand on the Dream Plane, even if that amazing wind did nearly carried me away, and Tent Rock. For a few hours I felt like I was standing on G889, looking around to see if a Terrian would pop up out of the ground, or a Grendler would appear from behind a tree or rock, and seeing ghost images of our beloved band of nomads. All of these things were responsible for me returning to the story arc. Thank you all for putting together such an incredibly unique weekend of fun and memories.
This story is in part dedicated to Mary Brick, who no doubt still hasn't come down from New PacifiCon. :-) To John Gegenhuber, who unapologetically fleshed out a complex character who we all love and/or love to hate, giving Morgan Martin a depth that no other actor could have ever come close to. And since you can't have Morgan without Bess, this story is also dedicated to Rebecca Gayheart for bringing the strong, compassionate Bess Martin to brilliant life. And last but not least, this story is dedicated to J. Madison Wright, who put such spunk and heart into the wonderfully well-rounded character of True Danziger. We miss you all. Sunday nights are lonelier without the Eden Advance Crew and all the inhabitants of Earth 2.
All right enough of that mushy sentimentality and on with the story. Enjoy!
Standard Disclaimer:
This story is a work of amateur fiction not meant to infringe on the copyrights held by anyone involved in the making of _Earth 2_. The small excerpt is taken from _The Velveteen Rabbit_ by Margery Williams and is copyrighted, no infringement is intended, it is a beautifully written story I love dearly. If you have young children and they don't have this lovely book, or if you are a kid at heart, I suggest you go to your nearest bookstore or library and get it for them and yourself. :)
Everything's New Again - Prologue
by Paula Sanders
copyright May 1996Day 360
Bess Martin removed the cloth that was holding her voluminous curls in place, as she prepared for bed, and glanced at her husband Morgan, who was sitting on his cot, removing his shoes, his back to her.
She wondered where the man she married had gone. The man from the Stations was so different from the man who sat with her here. Over the past year, she had frequently been embarrassed to admit that this was her husband, finding herself angry and frustrated wondering why she had married a man so selfish, so incapable of taking care of himself. And this had upset her, to have such feelings for a man she knew she loved with all her heart. Logically, she knew that his reaction to this new rough life was perfectly natural. You couldn't expect someone who had been raised in the luxury of the space stations to adapt without complaint to life on a strange, frightening planet, with no luxuries to speak of. But she had seen the others simply go about their days as if it were not the most extraordinary and difficult thing to survive on this planet, and she had begun to look at her husband in a whole different light.
His incessant whining, his refusal to help out, and his habit of disappearing into his imaginary world of VR had made her angry to the point that she was ready to divorce him, to give up on their marriage, a marriage she had once put her everything into. She had thought Morgan had been just as committed, but she had begun to wonder about that, when she found herself fantasizing about another man. Then Morgan had won her heart, reminding her why she had loved him, with the simple gesture of talking to a VR image of her father. She had fallen in love with him all over again for their wedding, what she considered their real wedding, here on G889.
He had changed so much over the last year. He was more mature, a little more sensible and willing to do what he could to help the group. He didn't grumble nearly as much when asked to do something. For these things she was grateful. Months of standing up for him in front of the group, when she was not sure she even agreed with what he had said or done, had worn thin very quickly. Morgan had made mistakes, some serious, some less serious, but he had done what he could to make up for those mistakes, to gain forgiveness and acceptance.
At the change Bess saw in her husband, new thoughts had begun playing in her mind. Back at the winter camp, just before Spring, when Bess and Morgan thought they were going to have a baby, she had been so excited, and more than a little afraid. She didn't know if they were ready to start a family. Yes, she knew Morgan to be a kind and good man at heart but would he want to have children. Seeing him interact with True and Uly had made her concerns greater. He didn't seem to ever be comfortable around kids. Morgan seemed to avoid True and Uly when he could, and for their part the kids avoided him as well. Would he want a child of his own? People said it was different when it was your child, but part of her didn't believe that. His reaction to the news of her possible pregnancy had eased her worries a little. His expressive face had shown her his happiness mingled with the panic she knew was typical of first time fathers. After finding that there was not to be a baby Martin, she had resigned herself to the fact that then had not been the right time. But those feelings had surfaced again and she couldn't fight them, didn't want to fight them. She had always wanted to be a mother, dreamed of the day she married and had a loving husband and a beautiful baby to care for.
Well, she had the loving husband, had for three years. Maybe it was time now to start on making that "baby Martin."
Bess crawled up onto her cot and leaned over to her husband, scooting close to him.
"Morgan," she purred, near his ear. "Hmm?" he asked, as she slipped her arms around him. "You smell good. What did you put in your hair?"
"Just the usual," she returned, snuggling closer. "Well, it's nice," he told her, turning to kiss her cheek. She smiled and swung her feet over the edge of his cot. "Morgan, can I ask you something?" She turned her head to look directly into his eyes.
"Sure, you can ask me anything, Bess." "Do you ever think about us having children?" She held his gaze firmly.
"Yeah, sure I do," he said. Then, the panic appeared on his face. "Why?" He shifted uneasily on the cot, turning to face her fully. "You're not. Bess, you aren't pregnant? Are you?"
"No," she answered quickly. "But if I were, would you want the baby?"
"What kind of a question is that, Bess?" he shot at her, offended. "You know I love you and want to have kids. I thought we decided it wasn't the right time. I mean out here travelling, could be dangerous."
"Morgan," she said. "Julia told us it wouldn't be dangerous. We'd be fine. Besides I wouldn't have the baby until we were settled in our new home."
"Bess." His dark eyes were wary. "You don't have plans to get pregnant, now? Why rush it?"
Bess turned away from him, saddened by his less than eager reaction. Maybe he was right. Maybe now wasn't the time. But why not? It was as good a time as any. If they kept on like this, waiting for the right time, it might never come. What better way to start their new life here than by starting the family they had always wanted.
His gentle hand lifted her loose hair from her face and he leaned in to her.
"Bess, Honey, I'm sorry." His hand caressed her cheek. "No, Morgan," she said, pulling away from him. "Don't placate me. If we are going to have a child I want it to be our decision. Not because you think it is something you *have* to give me." At his hurt expression she reached over and took his hand. "Morgan, I want you to want this child, too. I want a baby with you more than anything. But if you don't want it now, then it can wait."
She stood up and started around the cots to her side of the 'bed'. But Morgan stopped her, grabbing her wrist and pulling her back to stand before him.
"Bess, I want to give you a child, as much as you want one. I just don't know." He ducked his head, staring at their hands linked together, he twined his fingers around hers, their wedding rings clicking together.
"It's scary," he admitted. "That life will be completely dependant on me. Me, for godsake. Morgan Martin, voted most likely to screw things up."
Bess laid a tender hand against his hair, smoothing it down, a gentle smile touching her lips.
"What do I know about raising a kid," he said. Bess sank to her knees, taking both his hands in hers. "That's why you have me," Bess said, smiling at him. "We'll do it, together. Morgan, don't you want to see what kind of child we'll make. The best of both of us."
"Or the worst," he put in and she swatted his knee. "I hope she has your eyes. And your hair." He rested a hand on her curls, smiling down on her.
"I hope she or he has your smile," Bess told him, giving him a wink and a smile. "So, what do ya say? Shall we give up the supressors?"
"Is tomorrow soon enough for you, Mrs. Martin?" he asked, pulling her up and into his arms.
"It'll have to do," she said, grinning playfully. "We'll go see Julia in the morning."
Bess drew him into a kiss and he sank back against the cot, pulling her with him.
Bess Martin shifted uneasily outside of Julia Heller's medtent. She squeezed her husband's hand and gazed up at him nervously.
Were they doing the right thing? They had just begun to discover who they really were. Was it right to bring another life into this mess? Bess hardly knew who she was, had been playing a role for the past almost three years, ever since Morgan had first brought her onto the stations, she had tried to be something she wasn't, someone more refined than a scruffy Earth Res. Her desire to not cost Morgan any advances in his career and his not so subtle hints that she had to break with her ties to Earth had lead her to hide who she really was. She had behaved like a brainless flutterhead at times, and grew painfully ashamed of herself. She didn't blame Morgan, she was a big girl and she had put on the masquerade knowing exactly what she was doing. When she was alone with Morgan she could be herself, but away from that safety she was Mrs. Martin and nothing else.
Here on G889 she had been given the opportunity to let that guard drop. The Eden Advance Crew needed her knowledge of life planetside. She was invaluable here because of that. And it felt good to be needed for herself and for her attributes. That freedom was just beginning to be explored, did she want to tie herself down to-- *No!* She told herself. Having a baby was not something which would tie her down. It was something she had always wanted, and the greatest joy a woman could experience. Everyday she saw Devon with Uly and that just strengthened her knowledge that this was what she wanted. She just hoped that Morgan wanted it too.
"You're sure you want to do this, Morgan?" Bess asked. "You know we can put this off. We don't have to do it, right now."
"Sweetie," he sighed, slipping his arm around her shoulder. "I've told you a dozen times at least. I'm ready to do this. I love you."
She sighed audibly and felt her spirit lifting. "I love you, too, Morgan," Bess said, kissing him quickly. "Morgan, Bess, what are you two doing here?" Julia asked, when she noticed the couple at the entrance to her tent.
"We need to talk to you, about something important," Bess said.
"All right, come on in," Julia ushered them in. "Do you want privacy? I could lower the flap?"
"Yes, thank you," Bess said as she and Morgan, in unison, sank onto the cot.
Bess' hands were clammy in her husband's as she interlaced her fingers with his.
"So, what can I do for you two?"
"Morgan and I have been talking and we've come to a decision," Bess told Julia, her mouth suddenly very dry."We want to start our family," Morgan finished for her. "We, uh, thought we should talk to you about it first."
That's wonderful!" Julia said. Bess was heartened by the doctor's broad smile. "Well, um... I guess the first step is to stop the suppressors as soon as you like. There shouldn't be any problem. You're both in the best of health."
Bess gazed up at her husband to see him flush, impressively, to his hairline. She felt a giddy grin tug at her lips and spread across her face.
"Do you really think it's all right to do this, out here?" Morgan asked, his voice shaky. "I know you said that there wasn't any problem, when we were all back at the winter camp, but this is different. I mean, anything could happen out here. No offense Bess, but you're gonna get pretty big and you can't waddle to New Pacifica."
Bess and Julia laughed together.
"Morgan," Julia said. "We should be at New Pacifica within the next two months. Bess is not going to get that big that fast. I don't see any problem with it. Bess, you have always checked out healthy and strong. But, I'd like to do a full gynecological exam, it's been a while. Just to make sure everything checks out," she added reassuringly. "And I'd advise abstinence for at least a week."Bess and Morgan exchanged uneasy gazes and she asked, "Why?" "Well," Julia said as she gazed around and Bess knew she was looking for a discrete way to say something. "Morgan, you need to get your sperm count back up. From what I do know about suppressor they can cause problems. It's better to be safe than sorry. We'll need to make sure everything checks out with you too."
"All right," he said, and that was that.
End of Prologue
comments and feedback greatly appreciated at: paula.sanders@shawnee.org
Everything's New Again (1/6)
Paula Sanders
copyright May 1996
Devon Adair
**Night 365 on planet G889. One full year since the crash. And we're still not at New Pacifica, yet. By my much revised estimations, we should be there within the month. But for now, we celebrate the new year and reflect on the past one; a year spent learning, growing, surviving, and loving. Living here still hasn't gotten any easier, but we have learned to cope, which gives us the illusion that we have gotten better at dealing with this rugged, unpredictable existence. Still, each day, every situation we face, things we thought we were prepared to deal with, are new to us.**Deep in the earth her pain was felt. The little one, the human female child, was suffering. Mother was the cause of her suffering. It was aware of the Link's concern for her. Her tribe worried, for her illness was growing worse and the Doctor could do nothing for her. There was a possibility, a hope for her. But could it interfere? Was that right? Nature, Mother was following her path. It was not right to interfere. Yet, could it let the humans suffer?
The Eden Advance Crew was camped in a lush, shady, place where warm breezes cooled them on the long, hot, sticky days. They had decided to camp and rest here by the lake for a few days, needing to replenish themselves for the long stretch ahead of them; non stop to New Pacifica. At least that is what they hoped they could manage. Only a few hundred kilometers left in their journey. On this night, which marked the one year anniversary of their crash landing on this planet, The Edeners gathered to celebrate.
True Danziger sat by the fire, between Uly and her father, listening to Yale tell one of his stories. She had a pounding headache, as if someone had punched her in the face, and tonight the usually smooth tones of the tutor's voice stabbed, razor sharp. He was recounting the tale of Uly's abduction, as the group sat in a circle remembering from their own perspectives.
True leaned into her father, trying to chase away the pain with his warmth, but it didn't work. The pain was persistent, and every breath stabbed. As Yale said the final words of his tale True stood.
"Where are you going, Sport?" Danziger asked, reaching for her hand.
"I'm tired," she answered. "I want to try to get some sleep."
"Okay," he said, releasing her hand. "Sleep tight. I hope you feel better tomorrow. Goodnight, Sweetheart."
She saw the unconcealed worry in her father's gaze, and forced a smile for his benefit, when he gave her an answering smile, she turned to leave.
"Goodnight," she called over her shoulder and headed for Yale's tent. That's where she and Uly were sleeping now, and had been for the past two and a half months. Ever since Dad and Devon had decided to share a tent. True glanced over her shoulder before entering her tent to see Devon take the seat the little girl had just vacated. Danziger smiled at Adair and slipped his arm around her, as she settled in between two of the most important men in her life; her son and True's father.
A grunt of disapproval escaped True's throat as she threw aside the tent flap and rushed inside. The little girl flopped down on her cot with an exasperated sigh and tried to fall asleep.
"I'll never forget that first moment," Devon said, with a wistful tone, "when I stepped out of that life pod and onto natural soil. The sun was so bright I thought it would blind me. This is still the most beautiful place I have ever seen."
"Remember the first rain fall?" Walman asked and they all laughed at how panicked they had been. "It felt so good and so free."
Devon felt Danziger tense next to her. A face flashed across her memory. An oily, self-serving smile, ragged clumps of long grey hair, cast-off clothes, eyes that plainly showed the pure evil that could exist in one's soul. She shuddered slightly and squeezed John's hand, which was nested in hers. He jerked involuntarily at the sudden, tight grip, his eyes meeting hers in a worried gaze.
"I," she paused and cleared her throat. "I was so afraid we'd never be free of Gaal. I don't even want to think of what he might have done to True. He came so close to--"
"There's no way he was going to lay a hand on that kid," Baines said, sharply.
"But he did," Devon reminded him. "Maybe not in that way, but he did touch her." Devon turned to John, who had suddenly gone as pale as she felt. "John, does she still have those nightmares?"
He shook his head. "They stopped after a few weeks." She noted the weak tone of Danziger's voice and slipped her arm into his drawing him close, resting her chin on his shoulder.
"You kept her safe, John," Devon assured him. "She's safe from men like Gaal."
He nodded and she smiled, gently squeezing his arm, hugging him to her. Looking around at the solemn change in the mood of the group, Devon decided a quick change of subject was required. They were supposed to be celebrating the year past not bemoaning might-have-been's.
"Remember that water fight, what a free-for-all that was," Magus laughed, taking the initiative before Devon could.
Devon noticed Julia and Alonzo exchange furtive, knowing glances at the mention of the water fight. She had no idea what they were remembering, but by the way Julia blushed to her hairline, something she did not do often, it must have been a good memory.
"Yeah, and I think you were the only one who didn't get wet, Baines," Walman jibed.
"Eben almost got the worst of it, thanks to Cameron, over here," Magus said, patting the leg of her friend, sitting next to her. A terrible sadness washed over the man's gentle face, but he smiled banishing his grief, remembering with laughter.
"It's a good thing she had a sense of humor, or I would have been dead meat."
"We all got soaked," Danziger laughed. "It's a good thing that sun out there was so dry."
"You? Soaked? Yeah, right," Devon scoffed, and he could not miss the dangerous way her eyes flashed. "You were the one who enthusiastically doused me with that tin full of water."
"The kids started it," Danziger returned, with childlike playfulness.
"You sure were quick to join in." Devon joined in his play. She had always enjoyed it when he was like this, even before she knew she loved him. "And I don't recall seeing you soaked to the skin. If I remember it right you hardly got wet."
"I know," he said, his brow furrowing mischievously. "The water always seemed to miss me. It's funny how that worked out."
"It was a conspiracy. The wind kept blowing the water the opposite direction of where it was supposed to go." She had reached up and captured his chin between her fingers. "Directly into your face."
"Yeah, I'll bet you would have liked that." He leaned closer into her, not fighting her pull.
"Don't tempt me," she said her other hand curled dangerously around her cup of water.
"Hey," Walman called, in mock reproach. "Break it up, you two."
"Sometimes I can't believe half of the stuff we've been through," Julia piped up, sitting close to Alonzo. "It all seems so unreal. I wish I could say that I don't have any regrets, but being a part of this group, and Alonzo especially, I will never regret. I'm glad you didn't abandon me. That you gave me a chance to prove myself to all of you."
"Julia," Devon said, soberly. "You were always deserving of our trust. I just wish I had seen it sooner. I wish you had been able to come to us sooner about what the Council was asking of you. It might have saved us all, you especially, a lot of grief. But that's old news, it's the past. This is the future."
"New Pacifica is our future," Danziger added and she squeezed his hand, nodding.
"Look how far we've come," Yale said, drawing everyone's attention. "We started out strangers, thousands of kilometers to the east, with little more than our wits and determination. And look at us now, hardly a month away from New Pacifica. We have each other. We still have few supplies but we manage. And we are happy. We've learned so much about this planet, in our relatively short time here. The natives have reached out to us and we have made an effort to respond in kind. We have a lot to be thankful for, and a lot to look forward to."
The group responded with enthusiastic affirmatives and Yale smiled approvingly. Devon reached over her son to capture the tutor's hand in hers. Silently letting him know that she could never have done any of this without his support. Then she turned back to the man she loved and kissed his cheek, to say the same. At Danziger's smile and returned kiss she huddled back against him.
"True, are you still awake?" Yale's reproachful tone held a hint of concern, as he loomed over her cot.
The shadowy, dim light deepened the worry lines on his face. She felt bad about causing everyone so much grief. It was no big deal, she was just feeling bad. Okay, so maybe that was the understatement of the century. She felt like her head was going to explode and every inch of her body was sore.
"I can't sleep," she answered.
"I'm sorry, Child," Yale said, sympathetically. "Would you like to hear another story? I'm not very sleepy either." He smiled, a generous smile.True wondered how any of them could have thought this man dangerous. He was probably the most kindhearted, gentlest man she had every known. She returned his smile.
"No, my head hurts too much."
"Would you like me to go get Julia for you? She might be able to give you something for the pain, to help you sleep."True shook her head carefully. "She's already tried and nothing works. I wish--" True cut her own words off before she said them. That thought was selfish and she had no right to think it.
"You wish what?" Yale prompted, kindly. "Nothing, forget it." She rolled onto her side and tried not to whimper as the pressure in her sinuses began to shift.
"You wish you're father was here, instead of me." She could hear the good-natured humor in his voice. "I understand, True. It's perfectly natural for you to want your father here when you are feeling poorly. I could try to get him for you. I'm sure he'd come if he knew."
"No," she shot up on her cot, causing her head to float. She steadied herself on the cot rails. "No, don't go get him."
That was all she needed was for her dad and Devon to get sulky because she pulled them away from each other. She would fall asleep soon enough and she tried to convince herself that her father's presence would not do anything to change that fact.
"True, it's perfectly all right if you want your father here."
"No, it isn't," she returned. "He's with Devon now, he can't be here."
She tried to hide the pain that knowledge caused but Yale was too perceptive for her.
"I know this has been difficult for you, True," Yale began and she cringed. She didn't want to talk about this. "It has been just the two of you for a long time, hasn't it?"
She nodded, "Almost since I was born," True answered, realizing she was not going to be able to hide from her tutor and not wanting to. He was so kind and had a way of making it so easy to open up to him. "But I also had Wentworth. She used to take care of me, when Dad couldn't. She taught me how to read, and used to sing to me. I miss her."
Yale reached out to cover her hand with his. "She must have been very special. I'm sorry we never got to know her."
True nodded fighting back the tears. Oh yeah, tears were going to help her already stuffed up head. She turned her thoughts in a happier direction.
"We didn't have much space in our unit, but we didn't need much, just the two of us." True shifted to sit up straighter. "I never had my own room. We just had three small rooms, including the bathroom. It was all we could afford, but we didn't need any more space than that."
"It must be rather disconcerting," he smiled, guiltily, as her brow furrowed on the last word. "Unsettling for you to be away from your father."
True ducked her head ashamed. Yale knew he had hit the core of her troubles. She was feeling lonely and nothing, not all of the people in the group, would be able to fill that void. True and John had been inseparable all of the little girl's life. And now, Devon Adair had taken over a large portion of True's father's affections, space that had once been True's alone, but it had not been taken intentionally. Yale knew that Devon respected True's place in John's heart and never intended to encroach on it. What was not realized was that by taking that physical place in Danziger's tent, Devon was taking John away from his daughter. At least in True's eyes.
"I miss him," True said, trying valiantly not to sound like a whining child. "I want my tent back."
"True I know this is difficult for you to accept but you are growing up. And there comes a time in everyone's life when they must move away from their parents. This is the way it should be. You should want your own room, and privacy. You're growing up, and you must grow away from your father."
True sank back into her pillow, and Yale cursed himself. His words had stung more than he thought they would, but he needed to be realistic with True, the little girl liked it when people were direct with her.
"Yale?" Her voice was meek. "Do you think he misses me?" "I'm sure he does," Yale assured True, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "How could he not?"
"Yale?" she said, again. "Will you tell me that story about the toy rabbit?"
"Anything the young lady wishes," Yale said with a smile and began the tale. "There once was a velveteen rabbit, and in the
beginning he was really splendid...."
Morgan Martin lay, prone, on his cot, his arms held tightly at his side, his legs stretched out and feet almost hanging over the end, his eyes were tightly shut. He could hear his wife's quiet breathing beside him. Her special fragrance drifted over him and teased his senses. Out of the corner of his eye, as he cracked it open, he could see Bess curled up on her side, facing him, close to the edge of her cot, her hair fell against his pillow, her lips slightly parted, breath stirring wild strands of his hair. She had just fallen asleep maybe she wasn't fully asleep, yet. She was so close, he could wake her, with a kiss, but he knew where that would lead. Her limbs tangled with his, a mass of golden curls cascading around him, wide blue eyes darkened with passion, lips and long delicate fingers drawing him to the abyss and over the edge.
*Abstinence, Julia said abstinence,* he reminded himself. *Just a few more days. You can make it.*
But he could not resist touching her, he reached out a hand to gently caress her cheek, with the back of it. She stirred a little at his touch, sighing, but did not wake.
Bess Martin lay in that foggy realm between wakefulness and sleep. She thought she'd never get to sleep tonight. Their week was almost up. It wouldn't have been such a rough week if she and Morgan had been separated, but that was not the case. They were sleeping in the same bed, around each other twenty-four hours a day, and both were getting antsy. Bess wanted to feel her husband's touch, wanted to feel that delicious abandonment with him, wanted that giddy release at the sound of his cries muffled against her skin.
*Just two more days,* she reminded herself. That wasn't too long to wait.
A whisper of a touch on her cheek sent a shock wave of pleasure shooting through the young woman. It took all her strength not to reach for that hand, to slip over onto Morgan's cot with him. His hand made its way slowly down to her throat.
In her sleepy haze Bess shifted closer to his warmth. Trying to fight the pull, the desire. *Oh god, Morgan, please stop,* she pleaded, silently, wanting to scream it out, but it came out as more of a sigh of pleasure. Which was exactly what she did not intend it to be. The hand was quickly snatched away, and she heard her husband turn over under his blanket. Bess sighed and turned away from Morgan, hoping that if she put some distance between them she would be more successful. She begged for sleep to claim her as she heard Morgan's steady breathing beside her.
It was getting late, a few stragglers still gathered around the fire, not yet ready to drag themselves back to their tents on this beautiful, late summer night. The warmth of John Danziger and the security of his arm around her, lulled Devon Adair into a sleepy comfort. The sounds of her friends reminiscing were had turned into a jumble of indistinct mumbles. She pressed herself closer against Danziger and he shifted his hold. She sighed, contented. She had never been happier.
Her mind drifted, reflecting on the year past, a year narrowly survived, a year of tempting fate, and of change. The past. The past had always been a thing to run away from. One never looked back on the past, only moved forward. Still, it helped Devon to see who she had been and how much she had gained.
She recalled the slick luxury of her spacious accommodations on the space stations. Such a big, ostentatious place for just herself, Uly, and Yale. But she'd been forced to take it. It was her family's, willed to her by her father. As much as she wanted to sell it, she could not. It seemed like a betrayal to do so. Besides, it was comfortable and comforting - in a strange way. It was where she had grown up and offered her a feeling of safety. But eventually she had sold it, having no choice. Once the money had been needed for Eden Project she had done everything within her power to make it happen. Nothing would stand in her way. Even if it meant living like a pauper. She had given up everything in order to save her son; her money, her status, her family and friends. There were few people who wanted to stand with her against the Council, to say they would not be told they had to sit by complacently and watch their children die. Those few, like her, would not accept that there was no hope. They had joined her and were now on their way here, to a better future. A future filled with hope.
She had not backed down from her objective. All Dison Blalock's blustering, and threats had not stopped her. Thinking they were hollow threats had nearly been her down fall. Devon had been short sighted enough to think that he would never go so far as to plant a bomb on the Advance ship or sabotage the ship to crash just to make sure they didn't make it to G889. But they had been lucky.
If being forced to march across an unknown continent on a mysterious planet could be called luck. She guessed it was luck if you considered all that had happened; they had survived. Uly was healed, she had found true friends, love, and this miraculous planet to call home. And she had done what she set out to do; insured a better future for her child and those other 250 Syndrome children.
But it had not been easy and it had not come without a price.
The Eden Advance Crew had lost so much in the past year. Most had survived the crash, some only to come up against disease and die on this strange planet, so far from home. They were never even supposed to land. The crew didn't care about Devon's personal crusade, only about making that attractive sum of money she offered, so they could return to have better lives on the stations. John Danziger had not let her forget that, neither would the guilt she felt at stranding them here.
What had happened as a result of coming here, she had to remind herself, had not been her fault, but that of the Council. They had done everything in their power, and then some, to insure that her mission did not interfere with their own agenda. They had tried hard to dissuade Devon from coming here, but she hadn't listened. They had never given her concrete reasons for not choosing G889 for her new home. They hedged around it every time she confronted them. If only she'd had a cynic like Danziger to watch her back, during those times, she might have seen what was really going on. The thought struck her as funny.
She had to admit that twenty-three years ago, back on the stations, the man she was now snuggling with had terrified her. He was not afraid of confrontation and looked out for what was his, and the fact that it was well known on stations that anyone who got in Devon Adair's way would be sorry, never did phase him. She had been glad that he was not going to be a part of the colony. John Danziger could have jeopardized her goal. She felt that everyday would have been a struggle with Danziger around and her stomach had tied itself in knots just thinking about it, those first few weeks on this planet. Danziger challenged her every move. Yet, she soon found that his opposing view helped to stabilize her, rather than hinder her. As times passed and they grew closer, she had tried to deny that she needed him, needed his opposing view to keep her balanced, and that she couldn't have come as far as she had without him. It was embarrassing to have to admit that Devon Adair, the woman who prided herself on her reputation of never having to rely on anyone, needed someone desperately.
She had been forced to admit that all those times when she had nearly lost him; to a ZED, to sickness, to the spider caves, when the scout team had been lost, and to the Spring pollen. The panic she had felt at the thought of not having him around had been painful, and each time she had been forced to face that fear she was confronted with how much he had come to mean to her. Even though she had hated the effect he had on her. And when she had nearly died, and was placed in cold sleep, the dream plane had helped her to see that she was meant to be with John, that he needed her as much as she needed him.
John Danziger had not been Adair's greatest obstacle. Dr. Julia Heller had been a Council operative, forced into service, sent to spy on the Eden Project. This was another one of the Council's attempt to hang onto their control of this planet. But this knowledge had all come later. Again, Devon had been blinded to the deceit happening right under her nose. Yet, she wasn't the only one fooled. They all had been but Devon realized now that Alonzo had been the one the most deeply hurt. He had fallen in love with Julia, not knowing that she was betraying them all the while. Devon didn't know how he had gotten past that pain but he had and quickly. Maybe he saw something in Julia the rest of them couldn't. He had seen the turmoil and the woman crying to be saved, desperate to break free from a life she hated.
"Devon," Danziger whispered, giving her a gentle shake, interrupting her wandering thoughts.
"Hmm.." she sighed sleepily.
"Devon, wake up."
"Why?" she asked.
"Because, as much as I enjoying the feel of you in my arms, they feel like they're going to fall off, if you don't move."Devon laughed and sat up. "That's too bad," she said, smiling at him.
"Why don't we just go to bed," he suggested. "You're half asleep as it is."
"I'm not that sleepy," she purred, slipping her hands inside his jacket, hugging him and brushing her lips against his ear.
"Oh, well in that case," he returned, giving her a quick kiss. "We should definitely *hurry* back to our tent."
"Great idea," she said, hopping to her feet and pulled him with her.
The end of part 1
comments and feedback greatly appreciated at: paula.sanders@shawnee.org
Everything's New Again (2/6)
Paula Sanders
copyright May 1996
Under the shade of a scraggly tree, True Danziger sat next to Uly and across from Yale, a portable viewer in her lap, gazing off into the forest, the cyborg's voice a quiet droning sound. She tried to pay attention but her head was pounding and she could not catch her breathe. She had never been sick a day in her life, but now she was terribly ill and no one, not even Julia could figure out what was wrong with her.
True tried to take a deep breath and felt the sharp pain as the breath was stopped by her clogged sinuses and tight chest. She gasped, her mouth open wide, desperate to catch air into her lungs.
"Are you all right, True?" Yale asked, from what seemed like so far away.
She gazed around to find Uly looking at her, concerned. She coughed and tried another breath before answering.
"I think the histamine blocker Julia gave me this morning is wearing off," True said. "I can't breathe all of a sudden."
"Why don't we stop for the morning," Yale suggested, gazing sympathetically at True. "You could probably do with some sleep. And I don't think either of you are paying much attention to me." He smiled at them affectionately and turned off his holo-glove.
True carefully got to her feet, hoping to avoid making herself dizzy. Yale laid a hand on her shoulder.
"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked. True nodded. "I should go see Julia." She left Yale, her head swimming and her eyes stinging. Looking for her father, she stopped to gaze around the camp and spotted his golden mop of hair on the other side of the DuneRail, the front half of the vehicle was sticking out from behind the yellow tent. Slowly, True made her way to him. She was stopped short when Devon came into view, leaning on the back tire, looking down at Danziger. A frown deepened on True's face. Jealousy was not a pretty emotion, or so Yale had told her. But it didn't stop the feeling from surfacing. These days, it seemed that wherever John Danziger was Devon Adair would not be far off. True missed her dad.
She felt bad about the jealousy she felt towards Devon. It wasn't that she disliked Devon. She had already told them it was all right with her that they were together. She could not turn around and be mad at them, now. Besides, she saw how happy her dad was with Devon. That was what mattered.
Still a part of her felt cheated; cheated out of her father's love. And Devon, she was always trying to be nice and helpful, trying to be her mother. True did not want Devon to be her mother. She had never needed a mother and she did not intent to start needing one now.
*Besides,* she wanted to growl, *that's my place she's in.*
Bess Martin caught sight of True standing in the middle of camp, staring angrily at something. The woman followed the girl's gaze and found Danziger working on the DuneRail and Devon perched on the back tire. The couple was laughing about something. Devon reached out to brush a curl out of Danziger's eyes and Bess heard True growl, under her breath.
It was quite evident that the little girl was jealous, and it was an understandable emotion. Bess' own mother had died when she was just a girl and when her father started dating again Bess had been incredibly jealous of any woman who tried to horn in on her territory. But True was smart and a perceptive girl, who wanted her father to be happy. She must have seen how happy Devon and John were together. Bess hoped that True could find room in her heart for Devon.
"Hey, True?" Bess called.
The girl's head jerked around, her ponytail whipping around her shoulder, smacking her in the cheek."What?" she barked, wincing at the sting in her cheek. Bess did not flinch as True's anger was turned her way, but rose and crossed to her.
"What burr got under your saddle?" "What got under my what?" True asked, confused. Bess laughed. "It's just an old expression I picked up from some old holo-vids. Why are you so hostile these days?"
"How would you feel if you could barely breath?" True returned.
"That's not the whole reason, is it?" Bess pointed out. "I saw the way you were looking at them." She made a small, surreptitious gesture towards Devon and Danziger. "True it's all right to be jealous."
"I'm not jealous," True snapped and marched off, heading for her father.
Bess sighed and watched the girl go on her way. She felt sorry for both True and Devon and for Danziger, who was caught in the middle. The two were pulling at him from both sides. Bess remembered a time when True had liked Devon, even respected her. But ever since John and Devon had started getting serious about each other, True had started to pull away from Devon, to resent her. It was a natural emotion to feel, but it would stand in the way of the combined Adair-Danziger family having a happy life, something all four needed desperately.
"What's wrong with True?"
Bess turned to see her husband, Morgan approaching. She moved to his side and slipped her arm around him."A lot of things," Bess answered ambiguously. "And you still say you want one of those," he said, half joking.
"One of those what, Morgan?" she said, with a sigh, humoring him.
"You know, they don't stay babies forever," he told her.
"After one too many wheel chair races down the hospital corridors, they put gradual speed humps under the floors." Devon was trying hard to finish the sentence before she broke out laughing.
"And I'll bet Uly won every one of those races," Danziger said, smiling.
"You better believe it," Devon told him, beaming proudly. True tried to control the scowl on her face, of which Devon seemed oblivious.
"Hi, True," Devon greeted. "We were just talking about how much trouble the kids used to get into when they were cooped up in the Syndrome Ward."
"Dad," True said, ignoring Devon, who exchanged curious, concerned looks with Danziger. "Can you come with me to see Julia?"
"Sure, why?" he asked, surprised by her sudden dependence. "I just want you to, okay," she snapped. John frowned at his daughter. "All right. I guess I can finish this later."
"Are you all right, True?" Devon asked. "I'm fine," True answered abruptly. "Come on, Dad." She grabbed his hand and dragged him away.
Morgan sat on crate, updating his records for his superior on the Colony ship. Sometimes he didn't know why he bothered. These people were responsible for most of the hardship they had suffered over the last year. Why should he bother to make sure they were aware of all that happened? Well, he guessed he didn't have to be responsible for keep the records unabridged. They probably would never know that he had simply left out certain things. So far, his records had consisted of medical data, the progress they made across the continent, and maintenance of the vehicles, when he could get Danziger to talk to him about them. There was nothing more detailed than that. Any unusual contact with the native creatures was conveniently not recorded. Any day to day things, whether special or ordinary were left out of the official records.
Actually Morgan Martin, one time Level 4 government liaison spent most of his time doing what everyone else did. Tearing down camp at the beginning of the day, hiking all day to make up the strived for twenty kilometer, setting up camp with the setting sun, and doing his share of the busy work when it needed to be done. Along with less than his usual stints in VR. So, there was very little time for him to fill out his reports, but his superior need not know that.
*What they don't know won't hurt them,* he thought. *Or me." When he had joined up with the Eden Project, or rather been assigned on to the Eden Project he had never imagined he would be living the life of an old Earth pioneer. When he was told by his superiors that he was being assigned to go with the Eden Project, to be a part of the colony, he had been angered, that they could uproot his life at whim, but he'd had no choice and so he had tried to make the best of it, looking for any grand opportunities there were to be had on a colonial expedition. Once, here he had realized again that things were not going to go as planned. They were all at the mercy of this planet. He didn't know what he had thought life on G889 would be like, but he knew he had never thought it was going to be like this. And he never dreamed he would see his sister, Emily, again.
Morgan spotted Emily Kirkland sitting with Mazatl, Cameron, and Magus under a shade tree. They were talking cheerful. It was so good to see her happy, again.
Morgan turned his attention back to his work, despite the mixed feeling he had about his the representatives on the Colony ship Martin needed something to take his mind off his present situation. He and Bess had been lucky to get through last night without breaking the doctor's orders. It had been nearly impossible. Bess had smelled so enticing, she must have gone down with the other women to bath in the calm lake, near camp, on the other side of the slope. He could not remember the last time he had felt so frustrated and pent up. There had been other times when he and Bess had gone even longer without being intimate, but this was worse. Being together all the time, knowing that they were ready to start a family, knowing that they loved and needed each other, made it all the more difficult.
*So, when are you two going to make me an aunt?* Emily's words to him, from six months ago, rang in his mind. And his gaze found his sister, again.
It had always saddened Emily that she and her husband Alec had never had the chance to have children together. Morgan had always thought that if Emily and Alec had been fortunate enough to have a child, she would not have been so lost when he died. Well, she was still young and Morgan knew that now that she was happy and living a life she wanted, someone would come along and sweep her off her feet. She deserved that. Until then, she would have to content herself with a niece or nephew.
His vision was suddenly filled with images of Bess with a tiny baby cradled in her arms, her radiant smile focused on her husband, the one who had helped to give her this precious gift. He imagined the feel of his baby in his arms. How would that child feel? What would it be like to know that this tiny life was a part of him, to feel that unconditional love? *But they grow up,* he reminded himself. *They turn into people like you.*
Morgan was suddenly aware that his sister was looking his way. She smiled and stood, excused herself from the others and made her way to her brother's side.
"You don't mind me disturbing your oh-so important work, do you?" She queried, as she sat down on a crate next to him.
"Not at all, I wasn't getting much work done anyway. I was too busy day dreaming," he admitted.
"About what?" she shifted in her seat, so she could see him better.
"Bess, she...I mean, we have decided to have a baby." "Morgan, that's fantastic!" Emily practically shrieked. "That's the greatest news! Oh, a baby, how wonderful."
"Are you crazy," Morgan said, his eyes wide. "No, just incredibly happy," Emily said, throwing her arms around her brother. "My baby brother is going to be a Dad."
Morgan looked at her sideways, more than a little worried about the sanity of his older sibling.
"Emily, how did you know you wanted to have a kid?" "I just did," Emily answered. "Alec and I were so in love, it just seemed natural to want children. We'd talk about it sometimes when we lay awake at night, or in the mornings. He used to get this twinkle in his eyes when he'd talk about our children. God, I miss him so much."
Morgan slipped his arm around his sister. "Emily, I thought...."
"I'm sorry," she cut him off. "I know, I'm supposed to have gotten past the grief. But sometimes it feels like just yesterday." She pulled herself together. "Morgan, you'll make a great father. I know that."
"How can you know that?" Morgan said, unaware of the irritating whine in his voice. "I've always made a shambles of everything in my life."
"Morgan, you're too hard on yourself. You have a beautiful wife, whom you cherish and who loves you. You have people who are learning to trust you, as you earn their trust. Any kid would be lucky to have you and Bess for parents. You have so much love to give. If you're thinking of what father did. Stop right now. You've come to recognize the mistakes he made. And you won't make them with your child."
Morgan suppressed a shuddered at the thought that he could ever be as cold and uncaring as his father had been. Thomas Martin had been an intimidating man, and his son had always been too frightened of what consequences he might suffer if he went against his father. There had never been much love between the two, only fearful respect and animosity. Emily had always been more hotheaded than Morgan, willing to stand against her father to do things her way. While Morgan had cringed and bowed to his father's will. No, he would never do that to his child. His son or daughter would know that it was loved and wanted, and that it could have a mind of his or her own.
"You have come so far in this last year, Morgan," Emily praised him. "And you have Bess. She was *born* to be a mother." She added with a smirk, "And I'll be his aunt. So, you better watch yourself, Kiddo. Because, I'll be there to make sure you never hurt that little munchkin."
Morgan smiled shyly.
"I hope you'll be too busy with a kid of your own," Morgan said, pleased with the look of shock in her eyes. It was fun catching her off guard, and it didn't happen often."There aren't going to be any children in my future." She was staring hopelessly down at her hands, and he bit his bottom lip.
"I won't be too sure about that," Morgan said. "I've seen how attentive Mazatl is to you. Don't deny it. It's there. Anyone can see it."
Morgan fought the laugh that wanted to burst out of him as he saw Emily sneak a peek at Mazatl sitting across camp. Yep, she was a goner. Then, she shot her brother one of her sharpest looks.
"How did this conversation get turn onto me?"
"Ever so easily," he answered, devilishly.
True Danziger swung her feet as she sat on Julia's examination table in the med tent. Her father stood by her, holding her hand, as Julia put a vile of something in the sedaderm. The little girl sniffled and coughed. Her eyes were puffy and blood shot and her nose was raw from blowing it. Her mouth gaped as she tried to breath. Danziger squeezed her hand, giving her a sympathetic smile.
"Here, True," Julia said, as she turned around and approached the table with the sedaderm. "This ought to help you breath. It's a different histamine blocker than I gave you earlier. It's more of a broad base and should take care of whatever it is you are allergic to. I kept this around for Uly , but he doesn't need this stuff anymore."
"The lucky bum," True muttered, under her breath. "True," her father scolded.
"Sorry, Dad," she apologized, only half meaning it. She was getting tired of watching Uly running and playing and having a great time, while she could hardly breath, and did not have the energy to do much of anything. Still, Uly had not, entirely, been insensitive. Just yesterday he had told her he was sorry she was sick and that he knew how she felt. That had helped, a little, but only a little. Her head still hurt, her eyes still stung, her throat was still scratchy, and her chest still hurt. It was not fair. She hit the table hard, with her balled up fist."It's all right, True. I know it's frustrating, but you'll feel better after I give you this," Julia consoled, as she administered the sedaderm to the girl's neck, and they waited for it to take affect. "I wish I could do more for you but they never saw fit to teach me about allergies, since there were no cases of them on the stations. I was just lucky Yale had some old medical data," the doctor said.
True waited impatiently for the drug to take affect, but it was not doing anything. Her head still felt like it was going to explode with every breath she took. She whimpered and put her head between her hands. Danziger put his arm around her and winced.
"What's wrong, True? Isn't it working?" her father asked. "No," she whined, leaning against him. "I don't understand. It should have kicked in already." Julia gazed at True in that doctor's way she had. "Maybe the dosage was wrong. Maybe she needs more than Uly did."
John looked skeptical and shook his head. "I don't know, Doc."
"Trust me, John. She's bigger than Uly and a whole lot stronger. She probably just needs a higher dosage for it to work," Julia reassured.
"Julia, anything. I don't care. I just want to stop hurting." True pleaded.
Julia looked up at John, whose eyes were on his daughter. He nodded. Julia filled the sedaderm again and gave True another dose.
"Are ya okay, True?" Julia asked, after a few moment, watching the girl carefully. "Is it getting any better?" True attempted a deep breath and smiled, nodding.
"It feels a little better," she told them. "Thank you." "Well, you're welcome. I'm glad it worked." Julia smiled and patted her patient's shoulder. John helped True hop down off the table, still holding her hand. "I think we'll do this again before you go to bed, so you can get a good night's sleep. Now, I want you to rest, don't tire yourself and make sure you drink plenty of liquids." Julia ordered, with a smile, which True returned.
"Okay, I will," the little girl said. "And I'll see that she does," John told Julia. "Good. And come see me if there are any more problems," Julia called after them.
As True and her father walked across camp she felt as light as a feather, like she was going to float away. She took deep breaths, reveling in being able to smell and breath again. With the freedom, she suddenly realized how exhausted she was; she could barely hold her head up and tripped on the uneven ground, her father caught her, scooping her up.
"You all right, Sport," John asked. "Yeah, I'm fine, just tired."
"Well, in that case I'm taking you to the tent where you are gonna get some sleep." True thought that sounded like a pretty good idea. She let her father carry her to their tent and lay her down on the cot. She was only barely conscious when he asked her, "Are you gonna be okay here, by yourself?""Uh huh," she mumbled and yawned. "I'll just sleep." He laughed at her slurred speech and smoothed the hair back off her forehead, giving her a kiss on the forehead, then turned to leave and go back to work on the vehicles. Soon, True was sound asleep, a dead sleep, breathing freely.
the end of part 2
comments and feedback greatly appreciated at: paula.sanders@shawnee.org
Everything's New Again (3/6)
Paula Sanders
copyright May 1996
"Devon!" Baines called from the supply tent, where along with nearly everything else they had the communications equipment set up. There was a familiar blip on the sensory output, but he did not trust it. They had been burned too many times, for him to risk getting excited and being shot down, again. Still, he had checked it over a few times, trying different frequencies, checking the equipment to see if it was a glitch. It was still there and it still told him the same thing; damn good news.
Devon came barrelling to him at the outcry, she never took her time doing anything. The leader of this small band, was at his side in seconds, half the camp following in her wake.
"What is it?" she asked.
"We've picked up a signal from what could be cargo pod six," he answered quickly. A broad grin split his face, fighting against his pessimism."Pod six?" she asked for confirmation, a smile darting quickly across her face, like a wave across a pond.
"That's what it looks like. The signature's consistent with the records we have."
"But you don't trust it," Morgan Martin piped up from behind Devon.
"No, I don't trust it," Baines said a bit too defensive. "Would you, after what happened to you, Danziger, Julia and Alonzo the last time we got one of these."
"We were stupid," Morgan returned. "We're not going to be that stupid, again." The bureaucrat looked pointedly at the three people, gathered around the table, who had overruled him and dragged him past fail safe to an empty cargo pod.
"It doesn't appear to be a mirage or a glitch in the system," Devon said, after looking over the equipment again.
"Can we trust it?" Danziger asked. "Can we send our people out there on blind faith?"
"This is not blind faith," Devon countered. "We've learned how to survive here. And *no one* is going to be taking unnecessary risks on something this uncertain."
"I don't see that we have much choice," Yale said. They all turned to see the cyborg turn his attention back to the group, from the internal data search he had been doing.
"Cargo pod six has building units, food supplies, germination cylinders, and personal belongings."
"Personal belongings?" Devon asked. "What personal belongings?"
"Remember, Devon," Yale prompted. "You told everyone that they could have a few personal items stored in the cargo pods. You and Uly left quite a lot behind, all but your most precious possessions."
Baines saw a wistful expressions wash over her face. *What had she chosen to bring with her, as her most treasured possession?* he wondered. They all knew so little about Devon Adair. Well, all but three; Danziger, Yale, and Uly. What could be so important to Devon?
"Most of the passenger's personal belongings were stored in cargo pod six," Yale told the group.
"How far away is the pod?" Devon asked Baines. "Not far," he answered, checking the map which lay beside him on the table. "About twelve clicks to the northwest."
"That's not as close as I'd hoped," Devon muttered under her breath.
"We'll need the food and building supplies when we get to New Pacifica," Danziger said, surprising Baines with his swift change in opinion. "And for when the colony ship arrives."
"I know," she hissed.
"I'll volunteer to go," Danziger said. Devon shot him a worried gaze. "What about True?" "She'll be fine," he said. "Julia says she's doing better." Baines knew he didn't really mean it. Danziger hated to be away from True, and now that she was sick it would be near torture for him to leave his daughter for an extended period of time. But someone had to lead the group which went to see if there was anything left worth collecting at cargo pod six."Count me in," Alonzo said.
"Me too," Magus added
"Wait, not so fast," Devon said. "We don't know that there will be anything there to bring back. The Grendlers might have already ransacked it.""That's a chance we have to take, Devon," Alonzo countered. "Okay, but we'll need one more person," Devon conceded. "I'll be going with you."
"No," John said, surprising her.
"John, you'll need me there."
"I need you here. To look after True for me." He leaned in to whisper.Her eyes darted to meet his, then she nodded. "All right, then," Devon said, quietly. Turning to the group her gaze swept over them. "Morgan goes with you."
"Morgan?!" Danziger said in indignation. "Uh-uh, no." "Not after last time," Morgan protested. "I need everyone else here," Devon said. "You're all that's left, Morgan."
Morgan huffed, knowing he had lost, and knowing not to argue that point. Arguing with Devon Adair when her mind was made up was about as pointless as banging your head into a brick wall; especially when she was right.
"This detour is going to slow us up," Alonzo reminded the others.
Baines noticed Devon hesitating, she had certainly thought of this but was weighing the pros and cons in her mind before speaking.
"We don't have a choice, we can't leave the pod there," Magus said.
"How long will it take to reach the pod?" Alonzo asked. "A day there, a day back," Devon answered. "Then you have to add in the time spent checking the inventory. I would say about four days tops, baring any incident."
"Four days," Morgan groaned, sneaking a glance at his wife. "Yeah, you got a problem with that, Martin," Danziger challenged.
"Uh, no. I guess not," the bureaucrat answered. "When should we leave?" Danziger asked. "In the morning," Devon decided. "That way you'll have plenty of daylight left when you reach the pod. Let's get the supplies packed. You can take the Hauler, to bring back what you can."
It was hours after True had laid down for a nap before she woke. Her head felt like a lead weight as she tried to lift it off the pillow. The drug had obviously worn off. She whimpered and sat up, grabbing one of the handkerchieves that had been made from a torn up shirt and blew her nose.
"Why me?" she asked the empty tent. Her throat was dry and raw from breathing with her mouth open. She tried to cough, a dry cough and reached for the thermos of water which was next to the cot. Julia had said plenty of liquids, but what exactly was plenty of liquids? She downed a few gulps and her throat felt a little better. The rustling of the tent flap startled her.
"True," Uly called. "You in there?" He peered through the opening.
"Yeah," she answered, her voice hoarse. She cleared her throat and tried to speak again. "What is it?"
The little boy popped through the opening. "Yale and I were wondering if you'd like to come join us."
True laid her head in her hands and groaned. Uly was way too cheerful for her liking and was making her head hurt worse.
"I don't think so," she said.
"Are you sure? We found these really cool insects," he said. "Really?" True asked, perked up a little bit. "What are they?""Don't know. I've never seen anything like them." The little boy was practically bouncing he was so excited. "You gotta come see them."
"Okay." She sat up straighter, bracing herself for standing. "Good." Uly said cheerfully. True slowly got to her feet and followed Uly out of the tent.
Morgan helped Alonzo and Danziger load the small storage box at the back of the Hauler's flatbed, with their supplies. As much as he hated going on these little scavenger hunts, he was eager to be leaving. The task of rescuing the lost cargo would certainly keep his mind off of Bess, and being away from the camp for a few days would definitely help to keep his hands off her until their week of forced celibacy was up. But they would be gone two extra days, past that date. Those two days would be miserable.
"Hey, Martin, watch what you're doing!" Danziger growled. Morgan looked down to see that he had almost dropped a small but heavy crate of the larger man's hand.
"Uh, sorry," Morgan apologized, repositioning the crate and setting it down carefully.
"What's gotten into you, Morgan?" Alonzo asked, seeing the hurried motions. "It's not like we're in a hurry. We don't have to leave until tomorrow morning."
"I know that," Morgan snapped. "I just want to get this over with. Why can't we leave tonight?"
"You and Bess having problems, again?" Danziger asked, surprising Morgan with how close he had hit the target.
"No, Bess and I are perfectly happy, couldn't be better." He looked away from the two men, grabbing up a bundle of tent poles. His actions caused him to miss Alonzo and John exchanging knowing glances.
"Whatever you say, Martin," Danziger said, in a patronizing tone.
"Well, hello, True," Yale said when the children joined him. He was waiting for them on a fallen tree at the edge of camp. "I hope this means you are feeling better."
"A little," True said, punctuated by an explosive sneeze. She only just managed to cover her nose and mouth with her handkerchief. Well, she had felt better, getting up and moving had helped.
"Bless you," Uly said, politely. Yale gave her a sympathetic smile.
"Uly and I found a nest of ant like insects on the other end of the log here," Yale told her as he lead the children.
True tried to remain alert as she watched the critters scurry about, and Yale explained ants to them, but her mind kept wandering and her eyes kept drooping. She pulled herself back a number of times, only to drift away within minutes.
"True, do you know the answer?" Yale asked, shocking her back to attention.
"The answer to what?" she asked. He sighed. "Maybe we should quit for the day," he said, turning off his holo-glove. "It is almost dinner time and we've been at this long enough." True bowed her head a little ashamed. She was getting so good at school and learning so many exciting things. Now, she could not even pay attention for more than two minutes.
"It's all right, True," Yale said, laying a hand on her shoulder.
"Yeah," Uly agreed. "I used to have a terrible time paying attention. It's hard when you don't feel good."
"It's awful," True said. "I hate it. I wish we could figure out what I'm allergic to."
"It could be any number of things, True." Yale told her. "It could be the weather. Or a plant of some sort. We just can't be sure. But Julia and I have been working on it." True sagged, folding her arms in her lap. Yale placed a hand on her shoulder. "True, don't worry. At least, the histamine blocker is working."
"Yeah," True said. "Just barely."
"Come on," Uly said, jumping off the log. "Let's go see if they need help with dinner." He scurried off, Yale following. True glared after Uly. She liked it better when he was sick. No, that was a bad thought, she told herself. But that did not stop it.The end of part 3
comments and feedback greatly appreciated at: paula.sanders@shawnee.org
Everything's New Again (4/6)
Paula Sanders
copyright May 1996
Another sleepless night had left True crankier than the day before. The recovery team had left early that morning, heading out at an amazing speed, hoping to make the trip as short as possible. True had seen the worry in her dad's eyes and tried to reassure him that Julia and the others would take good care of her. Still, she knew he did not believe anyone could take care of his little girl better than he could.
Now as the sun was just beginning to heat up, True walked the edge of camp picking up twigs for kindling. It was the most boring and menial work but it had to be done. She swooped down and picked up a piece of wood and gave herself a nasty head rush. The world spun and her head felt like it was going to drift right off her neck. She grabbed ahold of the nearest tent pole for support, exhaling loudly, pushing the air out of her lungs.
"Are you okay, True?" Uly came up beside her. "Uh-huh, I'm fine. I just got dizzy." She slowly let go of the pole.
"Used to happen to me when I first got out of the immunosuit. It's a really weird feeling."
"Weird's not exactly the word I would have chosen," she said and started forward.
True bit her lower lip, nervously as she wandered, wanting to talk to Uly, to see how he felt about this thing with their parents. She would probably have more luck getting an honest answer out of him while their parents were not around, but how to approach it, that was the tough part.
"Uly, how do you feel about your mom and my dad, about them together?" she asked, too tired for tact
"I don't know," he shrugged. "Okay, I guess." "Oh, come on, Uly. You can tell me the truth. Doesn't it make you even a little bit mad."
"Not really," he said. "Okay, so maybe a little. But your dad's cool. He taught me how to run and how to drive the ATV and all kinds of other neat stuff."
"But it's been just you and your mom all along, hasn't it?" "Not really. My mom and Yale took care of me. So, I kinda had two parent." he answered. He shrugged. "I don't get this True. It's no big deal."
"Well, I think it is," she snapped and walked away from him. She kicked at the ground with her feet as she walked, angry thoughts running through her head. She tried to stop them but her head hurt, her body hurt and that was just making her crankier.
*These are bad thoughts,* she told herself. *You're not supposed to have bad thoughts.*
"Hey, True," Uly called to her after a bit. "It looks like there's a good pile up there under those trees."
She looked up the hill to where he was pointing. There did seem to be a few good piles of wood up there. She nodded to him and they started up the hill. It was a hard climb for True and she quickly became winded, and watching Uly running up ahead of her didn't make it any easier. She leaned against a tree for support, closing her eyes, taking deliberate deep breaths.
A sudden faint rumbling sound penetrated her ears and her eyes flew open. In front of her she saw a pair of brown, dirty legs. Her eyes followed them up until she found herself staring into the face of a Terrian. It laid a hand on the top of her head and its song resonated around her. This Terrian was familiar to her, and she fought around the pain in her head to remember.
It slowly came to her, as she remembered the Terrian they had helped a few months before. She and Uly had helped to coax him out of the tunnels to join a new tribe. So, what was he doing here?
"True?" Uly called. She was paralyzed, could not answer. The Terrian withdrew its hand and sank back into the earth. True stared, blinking at the slight indentation in the earth it left.
"True, are you comin'?" Uly called, again. True shook her head, to clear it and looked up the hill to where Uly was gathering kindling. She pushed herself off the tree and went to join him.
Three days passed uneventfully. The small recovery team was due back in the early afternoon tomorrow, and "relieved" did not begin to describe how True felt about their return. She missed her dad. Devon was all right, but she was hovering too much. Devon was always wanting to know if she was all right, or if she needed anything. True wasn't used to that kind of attention, sure her dad took good care of her but he also let her take care of herself. This felt wrong.
Although, maybe that was how mothers were. She had never had a mother, and she had seen how Devon was about Uly, always fussing over him. Even so, that didn't mean she had to like it. Three solid days of this was beginning to wear thin. Tomorrow could not come fast enough for the young girl.
"True," Devon called as she entered the tent and True could not suppress her cringe. "Bess and Cameron have set up for dinner, do you want to join us?"
True gazed up at the woman as she sank into a crouch beside the cot. "I'm not hungry."
"You have to eat something. Do you want me to bring you some food, here?"
Devon reached over to smooth the hair back from True's forehead, wondering when this little girl had come to be as important to her as her own son. True was a part of John and thus became a part of Devon. Whatever caused hurt or joy in John's life did the same for her's.
"No thanks," True answered, swatting Devon's hand away. Devon snatched her hand back, shocked.
That small action hurt Devon more than she thought it should. Her maternal instincts had been extended over to True over the past year. Devon had found in True what she had often dreamt a daughter of her's would be; beautiful, strong, stubborn, and intelligent. Devon found herself eager to give True everything her parents had never given her. Yet, she knew True would not accept that kind of affection. The little girl had made it quite clear she did not need or want a mother, so Devon would have to settle for being True friend, but she couldn't help those maternal instincts that kicked in now that True was suffering.
"Your dad's due to call in soon," Devon told her, as she stood, feeling the rejection stabbing into her heart. "Just thought I'd let you know, so you could talk to him when he does."
"Thanks," True returned as the woman retreated from the tent.
"Devon," Bess called and the other woman looked up, as she let the flap of her tent drop closed, to see her friend approached.
"What can I do for you, Bess?"
"You looked troubled, I thought you might like to talk about it.""I'm fine," Devon answered as Bess followed her to the center of the camp.
"Is it True?"
Devon sighed audibly, needing to share her grief with someone. "I don't know what to do with her, she won't let me take care of her.""She needs time to adjust, Devon," Bess told her. "I know from experience what it's like to have *some* woman come in and try to fill that place in your life. I wasn't very kind to the woman my father dated after my mother died. I think it's partly my fault she didn't stick around. I realize now that I had no right to do that. But I was only about True's age, I didn't know any better." Bess gazed at Devon. "Give her time. True is a stubborn and independent girl. She doesn't think she needs anyone. She will warm up to you, eventually."
"So, I shouldn't push it," Devon said. "Just don't try so hard," Bess offered. Devon recalled months ago, in the beginning how True had seemed to like her. There had been a certain amount of respect in the girl's eyes when they met hers. But that had seemed to disappear in recent months, since Devon had started encroaching on True's territory. Danziger was everything to True, especially here on this planet, where True had next to nothing. Devon never intended to take John away from her, but she was not going to give up John just because True did not like it. That would not be good for any of them.
Devon was glad that Uly seemed to be accepting the change more openly. She did not think she could handle two disagreeable children. Bess was right, the newly combined Adair-Danziger family was going to need time to adjust and learn to become a family.
"Bess, you are going to be a great mother some day," Devon said.
"I hope so," Bess said with a lopsided grin and left Devon to her thoughts.
"John," Devon greeted, smiling at the familiar face that appeared in the eye piece of her gear.
She had let him talk with True first, giving them as much time, privately, as they needed. Then, taking the gear from the little girl too eagerly, she had walked a distance away from the others to have her time with John, alone.
"Hey, Adair," he said, making her smile again at his use of her last name. Somehow, that always made her spine shiver. He smiled back at her.
"So, how did it go?" she asked getting business out of the way first. "Was there anything left?"
"You wouldn't believe how much was left," he told her almost giddy. "The Grendlers hadn't even touched it. The pod was badly smashed when it impacted with the ground. There wasn't anyway they could have gotten in, unless they had something to pull the walls off with, like the Hauler. So, it was all left in tact."
"How much are you bringing back with you?" "As much as the Hauler would hold. We set up one of Baines' sensory nets around the pod, to make sure that the Grendlers stay away, but I doubt they'll go anywhere near it. They've left it alone for this long. There was a lot of equipment in there, Devon. Most of it medical equipment for the hospital."
"Great! That is great news," she said, perking up. "Julia will be thrilled to hear it."
"How's True doin'? Is she behaving herself?" John asked, concern in his suddenly soft voice.
Immediately, Devon's heart sank and she had to push down her guilty feelings. She was doing a less than stellar job of taking care of John's daughter and True wasn't doing much to make it any easier. But there was no need to let him know that. He had enough on his mind.
"True's doing okay," Devon answered, trying to ease his worries. "She misses you. We both miss you."
"I miss you, too." She could hear the loneliness in his voice.
"It's only been three days and already I miss waking up next to you."
"Tomorrow, just keep reminding yourself we'll be home tomorrow," he smirked at her. "That's what I've been doing."
"I guess I can handle that," she told him coyly. "But you better not waste anytime getting home."
He laughed. "There's no way that's gonna happen. You should hear Morgan. He won't quit whining about how long this is taking. I want to get home as fast as I can, just so he'll shut up."
"Oh, is that your only reason?" she questioned, not even trying to hide her smile. He just grinned back at her. "Don't push yourselves too hard. I want you all back here safe. I love you."
"I love you, too."
"I guess it's getting late and you probably want to get some sleep, so you can get an early start tomorrow.""Yeah, I guess so," he said, hesitantly. "Goodnight, John," she said, reluctantly. "Sleep tight, Devon," he said, quietly. They stared silently at each other for a few moments, then simultaneously they reached up to severe the connection. As his image disappeared, Devon swung the eyepiece back, smiling to herself, then got up and returned to camp, to make sure True was tucked in all right.
Danziger, Solace, and Magus were sound asleep on their bedrolls, as Morgan tossed and fidgeted on his.
He couldn't get comfortable, or seem to get anywhere near sleep. Even after the days of travelling and all the back breaking work done at the cargo pod he was not at all tired. So, he slipped out of his bedroll and dug his VR gear and drum sticks out of his pack. He snuck quietly away from their small camp, behind a large rock, where he made himself comfortable on a bolder, placed his gear on his head, positioned the eye piece carefully, and turned his program on.
The world of reality blurred into the world of his own making, a safe world where everything always went as he planned. Well, almost always, with the exception of that time Franklin Bennett, or rather the computer Eve masquerading as Bennett, appeared in his VR program. He had come so close to losing Bess back then, and they had nearly lost Devon. He had felt responsible for the deaths of Franklin, Elizabeth, and their crew because he had cycled up their cold sleep chambers, but he had been so desperate for anyway to save Bess and himself, that he would have done anything. Eve had manipulated him into opening those cryotubes. Still, he was not sure if, had he known what would happen to those people, he would have left them to sleep. It had been there only chance for survival, like it always was. This whole planet, it always came down to survival. Morgan shuddered at the memory, pushing it to the back of his mind.
He tapped out a simple 4\4 beat on the set of drums which sat in front of him. Letting the rhythm take over his mind, feeling it in every nerve of his body. Slowly, methodically he took it a step further, making it more complicated, until he was completely caught up in the intricate rhythm.
the end of part 4
comments and feedback greatly appreciated at: paula.sanders@shawnee.org
Everything's New Again (5/6)
Paula Sanders
copyright May 1996
Another day was upon them and the recovery team was due back in the late afternoon. After a lot of thought the previous night, Adair had decided that morning that she and True needed to have a talk, and just now had found time to go in search of the girl. Devon found True on her back under the ATV. She was always fiddling with something, just like her dad. True must have been feeling better because she had been up and about all afternoon.
"True," Devon said.
"What?" the little girl snapped.
"How are you feeling?" Devon asked, as she sank down to sit next to the girl."I'm okay," True answered honestly. "Good. I think we need to talk." Devon summoned up her most commanding voice with a dash of compassion thrown in.
True pulled herself out from under the vehicle and sat up, wiping her hands. There was a dirty smudge on her face. Devon smiled and picked up a clean rag and reached out to wipe the girl's face clean. True swatted her away, like an offending bug.
"Don't do that," she grumbled.
"Sorry," Devon said. "It's habit. Listen, True." Devon shifted to sit more comfortably, hiding her nervousness behind the movement. "I don't want to be your mother, unless you want me to. I know I can never hope to take the place that your mother should have had. You know, I lost my mother when I was eighteen. Just when we could have become friends."True looked down at her hands, not responding. Devon wondered what was going through the girl's mind.
"At least you knew her. You know what she felt like and smelled like. I never knew what it's like to have my mother hold me." True said bitterly, ringing the life out of the rag in her hand.
Devon placed a hand over True's, stopping her. To her surprise True did not try to snatch it away. Devon curled her hand around True's smaller one, giving it a gentle squeeze. True swallowed hard.
"All I want is to be your friend, True," Devon tried. "And I don't want to steal your dad from you."
True did not speak but when she turned her doe eyes to Devon, the woman thought her heart would stop; the fear reflected there was so strong. True jumped to her feet and fled, leaving Devon feeling heartsick.
"Can't this thing go any faster?" Morgan Martin griped, impatiently shifting on the Hauler's bench seat. The four people were stuffed into the vehicle, Alonzo sitting across the narrow bench behind the front seat
"Shut it, Martin," Danziger growled, from the driver's side. "Morgan, if you say that one more time, you'll be walking," Magus threatened, jabbing him in the side.
"Camp's just over this next hill," Alonzo, ever the mediator, offered. "We'll be there in no time."
Morgan folded his arms over his chest and hunkered down in the seat, trying not to grumble under his breath. He was impatient to see Bess. Well, that was not quite accurate, he was impatient to do more than just *see* Bess. And with the Hauler's flatbed loaded down generously with the supplies they had salvaged from the wrecked cargo pod, they were not making the time they had hoped. It was taking them an extra few hours to get home and those hours were torturous. He was sick of looking at Magus, Alonzo, and Danziger. He thought it would be just perfect if he never had to see their faces or hear their voices ever again.
"Devon's going to be thrilled to see this loot," Magus piped up.
Morgan looked over the see Danziger shift uneasily and he could have sworn he felt the other man push the vehicle to a higher speed. Magus grunted, quietly, something that sounded like 'bums'. She obviously was getting nowhere with Walman, at breakneck speed.
"Do you think that sensory net we set up around the pod will hold?" Alonzo asked.
"It seemed pretty stable," Danziger answered. "We shouldn't worry. If the Grendlers didn't show any interest in it before, they'll probably leave it alone, now."
"I hope so," Magus said.
"Look, it's camp!" Alonzo cried, as they crested the second hill.
The return of the recovery team to camp was a blur to Bess. She paid little attention to the fact that they had actually brought something back with them. All she cared about was that her husband, Morgan, had hopped down from the Hauler's cab and was headed for her. She met him halfway, giving him a quick, chaste kiss; it was all she could do to not take it deeper.
"Bess?" he muttered, disappointment evident in his voice. "Not here," she hissed, taking his hand and leading him away from the group.
"Bess? Morgan?" Devon called, upon seeing the couple heading away from camp. "Don't you guys want to see what they brought back?"
"Already seen it," Morgan answered, trying to contain the giddy smile which played, enticingly, on his lips.
"I'll catch it later, Devon," Bess said, as she practically dragged her husband toward their tent.
She had moved their tent a distance from camp, in anticipation of her husband's return, wanting to have as much privacy from the Eden Advance Crew as they could get. There were some things which needed privacy. She was willing to share food, personal space, heart-to-hearts and heartaches with her friends, but not this. The last thing she wanted to worry about was who might easily overhear them.
"Oh, I like this," Morgan breathed, as they approached their tent, which was situated under the trees some twenty yards from camp. They were still within shouting distance of the others.
*Although, that might not be a good thing,* Bess reminded herself, sending a lighting bolt of longing driving through her. She drew in a sharp breath.
Morgan hurried ahead of her and pushed back the flap, reaching for her hand, he pulled her inside. She crouched down to hook the latch which held the flap in place, then rose and fell gratefully, into her husband's arms.
"I missed you," she sighed, caressing his cheek. "Not half as much as I missed you," he countered, leaning close to her face.
His deft hands were already working at the fastenings of her clothing and she followed suit, stretching up to capture his mouth in a strong kiss. Their clunky boots were the worst obstacle, but they were quickly dispensed with, and loose summer clothing fell to the ground, leaving a trail as they stumbled their way to their cot, collapsing in a tangle upon it. Bess giggled, taking Morgan's face in her hands and drawing him down and into a kiss. He held her close; a weeks worth of pent up longing and his desperation to make Bess a part of him, breaking his control and sending both of them tumbling freely over the edge.
"There's something up with those two," Devon whispered to Danziger, with a lop-sided grin, as they watched Bess and Morgan rush to their tent.
"You think maybe so," he said, grinning slyly. "I've never seen anyone so eager to get back home as he was."
"Oh, I can think of two other guys," Magus said, her tone a bit harsh, as she passed them, cocking her head to the side, where Julia greeted Alonzo with an urgent kiss. Danziger nobly tried to stifle the laugh that threatened. He quickly sobered and looked for his daughter, who had suddenly appeared at his side.
"Feeling any better, Baby?" Danziger asked, kneeling down in front of his daughter.
She started to nod her head, but he trained his patented don't-lie-to-me look on her and she stopped.
"Nope," she said honestly. "No better. I'm sorry, Daddy." "Hey, no. It's not your fault," he assured her. "You'll be fine. Julia will figure this out." He gave her shoulders a squeeze. "Now, why don't you go see what we found on the scout."
"All right," she said, sounding deflated, and shuffled off. "How has she been?" Danziger asked Adair, once True was out of earshot.
"Not too good," Devon told him. "But she's strong. She's been holding up."
Danziger nodded, feeling that Devon was holding something back, but unsure of what it was.
"What is that?" Baines questioned, his face screwed up in confusion and distaste.
He was gawking at an odd looking pile of fabric which had wooded pipes tucked in among its folds. It certainly didn't look very useful, Devon thought, but it had obviously been tucked safely away in this crate, by its owner, who was standing next the Baines now.
"That happens to be one of the finest bagpipes ever played," Cameron boasted. "Now, we can have a real celebration."
"Not until we get to New Pacifica," Devon told him, with a smile. "I wish I could say we'd have time, now. But we have a lot of packing to do, to get on our way tomorrow. And it is going to be non stop until we reach the beach."
Cameron nodded his understanding. "Well, you'll be in for a real treat when we get there."
Everyone laughed cheerfully. They were all looking forward to the end of their travels. None of them had any problems with the plan to keep going, without stop for rest days. The route looked clear for a least the next week and they had gotten very efficient at loading and unloading. They had it down to a science and these new crate were few, they would be no problem to add to the stacks.
"What've you got there, Devon?" Danziger asked, as he leaned over her shoulder.
"These were my father's," she told him, picking up two of a set of five leather bound books. "They're very old and the only time he let me look at them was when I was supervised. But I remember loving the way they smelled, the feel of the paper." Her finger tips slid lovingly over the edges of the yellowed pages. "The words didn't mean much until I was older, but when I was a little girl I just loved to sit and hold them in my hands."
Devon caught Yale's gaze as he smiled affectionately at the memory. She had sat on his lap, holding those books carefully in her little hands, as he read to her over the top of her head; Dickens' "Oliver Twist", Conan Doyle's "Sherlock Holmes", Kipling's "Just So Stories" and "Jungle Book", and Shakespeare's book of Sonnets.
Danziger reached over and ran his hands along the cover of one of them. He had never seen a real book made of paper and paste. After letting John look at the books, she put them back in the crate and pulled out a smaller box. She lifted the lid, inside was nestled an old fashioned desk set.
"This always sat on my mother's desk at home. I kind of took it as mine after she died. It's always sat on my desk. I couldn't leave it behind."
Baines slipped up beside Denner, peering over her shoulder. "So, what goodies did you bring along for the ride?" he asked.
She turned her head a little, to look at him, and Devon noticed the way she flinched when she realized how close he was, and blushed. *And I thought John and I took a long time,* she thought with a smile.
"Mostly holo-pics and mementoes I couldn't bear to leave behind. My sister and I went and had our pictures taken together before I left." Her voice was wistful.
Devon had thought most of her crew had not left any family behind. They had all agreed to go on this mission because they had no family ties to leave behind. Suddenly, and painfully, she learned different, as she watched Denner fingering the portrait of herself and her sister; hugging and smiling.
"She was really happy for me. Like I was going on this grand adventure." She laughed sharply. "If she only knew."
Baines slipped his arm around her shoulder, drawing her closer.
"Oh, this is silly," she admonished, pulling herself together. "I wonder what the Martins had in their crate."
Morgan Martin lugged a medium sized crate back to his tent, where his wife waited impatiently. He had gotten strange, knowing looks from the others as he'd walked across camp, shoes off, shirt untucked. Well, he did not care what they thought, besides, no matter what he did to make it any less obvious they all knew full well what he and Bess had spent the entire evening doing. Danziger on nightwatch had given him a conspiratorial smile and nodded, that had been really weird. He was on Danziger's least favorite list, right at the top, well, maybe a step lower than the Council, but there none the less. Maybe Danziger was not the wall of granite he seemed to be, Morgan mused.
"Morgan?" Bess called out, peeking out from around the tent flap, which was draped in front of her like a shield, and he could see the glint of the silver blanket around her shoulder.
"I'm coming, as fast as I can," he told her. "This thing is heavy. You're the one who wanted to bring all this stuff."
Bess held the tent flap aside as he ducked into their tent. She let the blanket drop in the privacy of their tent to reveal she was wearing a tank top and underpants; his heart skipped.
"It's not stuff, Morgan. And it's not all that much," Bess said, taking offense, as he sat the box down and she knelt in front of it unlatching the lid. "Besides, you didn't expect me to leave my mother's things behind. There all I have left of her."
Morgan reached out a hand to cup her cheek. "I know, Sweetie. And they're lovely things."
Bess lifted the fabric off the top. As it unfolded it was revealed to be the long off-white, silk wedding dress Bess had worn for their wedding aboard the space stations, embellished with lace and pearls, fitted through the waist and hips, flaring just below to drape around the floor. Where her grandmother, an impoverished EarthRes, had managed to get her hand on this exquisite, though simplistic, piece of finery, was beyond Morgan. Perhaps Bess' family had been more wealthy then he originally thought. He had read that the mining prospects on Earth had been more lucrative in his grandfather's time. The mine her father had ran had been combined from both Bess' mother's and father's families. It was possible that as the ore surplus dried up, they had been forced to combine the families wealth just to get by.
"I know there won't be much call for it here," Bess said, her cheeks flushing. "Unless Julia or Devon could wear it. I just couldn't leave it behind." She covered her belly with her hand and smiled quietly. "Maybe our daughter could wear it, when she gets married. Can't you just see it, Morgan. You leading our beautiful daughter down the aisle wearing the dress her mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother were married in to present her to the man of her dreams, ."
"Yeah," he said, swallowing anxiously. "And she'll be every bit as pretty as her mother was in it."
"And you'll be so dashing in your tuxedo." "Bess, where would I get a tuxedo here?" "I'll make you one," she promised him, then leaned over to kiss him.
He laughed when they separated. "You are such a dreamer, Bess. Here you are planning this baby's future when it hasn't even been conceived yet."
"How do you know that, Morgan?" she questioned, cocking an eyebrow.
Bess reached for him, pulling him into her arms, kissing him soundly. They abandoned thoughts of Bess's heirlooms to thoughts of the child they were creating together.
Julia pulled John outside the medtent, leaving True resting on one of the cots there.
"What is it, Julia?" John asked. "Isn't she getting better?" "No," Julia said, her voice defeated. "I can't seem to find the source. Whatever it is here that is causing this seems to be masking itself. It could be anything. The terrain and climate have changed drastically in the last few weeks and I haven't had the time to sort everything out."
"You said its some sort of allergic reactions. Can't you pin down whatever plant is causing this?"
"It doesn't have to be a specific plant," Julia explained, defensively. "It could be a number of things, or it could be something in the air that is not plant like. It could just be the sudden change in climate. I just can't be sure. I'm working on it as hard as I can."
"I'm sorry, Julia," John said. "It's just...." "I understand," Julia said, quickly. "I'll do what I can for her."
"I know you will."
"You should keep an eye on her tonight. I've given her another dose; and if there are any complications the sedative in it might prevent her from waking up," Julia told Danziger. He nodded, concerned. "It's shouldn't be dangerous. I'm just taking the necessary precautions."John gazed over his shoulder at True lying on one of the medtent's cot. She looked so weak, her usually rosy complexion pallid and grey. He did not know what he would do if he lost her. He tried to tell himself it was not that serious. Julia had never told him just how serious it was, but she didn't need to. He could tell by how anxious she was about finding the source of True's allergy just how serious this was, and it scared him.
John swallowed back his fear and moved to join his daughter again. He lowered himself to the crate beside her cot and smoothed down her hair. Her eyes fluttered open.
"Feeling better, Sport?" he asked. "Uh huh, sleepy though," she said her speech slurred. "That's the sedative," Julia assured her. "It acts fast. You may want to carry her back to your tent."
"Thanks, Doc," he said and scooped True up. She nuzzled against him as he headed for their tent.
"Is anything wrong?" Devon asked, as she came up beside them.
"Not really," John said. "Julia just gave her a mild sedative, so she could sleep."
"Good, she needs rest," Devon said. "Devon, do you think you could watch her for me tonight? Julia said not to leave her alone and I'm on watch tonight. I'd ask someone to cover for me but I've done that too often lately."
"Sure, she can stay in our tent," she offered. "I have some work to do there, tonight."
"No," True said, wiggling weakly in her father's arms. "I don't need her to look after me."
"True," John snapped.
"I'll be fine on my own," True told him. "No, you won't," Devon intervened, firmly. "If Julia thinks you need to be looked after then you need to be looked after. End of argument."John noticed the way True was looking at Devon. That look held the respect he used to see in his daughter's eyes for the leader of their little band. At one time True had liked Devon. He was glad to see that it was still there.
"Thanks," he whispered. Devon laid her hand on his back. "Think nothing of it."
the end of part 5
comments and feedback greatly appreciated at: paula.sanders@shawnee.org
Everything's New Again (6/6)
Paula Sanders
copyright May 1996
True was resting peacefully but Danziger could not seem to tear himself away. He had been in Adair's tent for at least an hour, alternately watching True and bugging Devon, while she tried to look over the maps and check on information gathered on the scouting trip that afternoon.
"So, does it look good for tomorrow?" he asked. She favored him with a weary smile.
"John, that's the fifth time you've asked that question in the last thirty minutes. When is it you have to relieve Baines on watch?" She hoped he caught her teasing tone. She did not really want him to go but she had work to do and he was very distracting.
"Soon," he said. "Um, make sure she doesn't toss the cover off. She's good at that," he told Adair, his eyes still fixed on his daughter. Devon got up and moved to his side. She had recognized the helpless parent tone in his voice.
"John, don't worry." She sat down next to him, taking his hand. "True will be fine."
"I know," he said. "At least my head knows." She leaned a little closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder.
"John, I know exactly what you're going through. We've all been playing this illness down, hoping to keep you sane. But I know, no matter how much we sugar coat it, won't make it any easier. She will be fine. I know that much. This planet won't let her suffer."
John turned to look at her, shocked. "What do you mean 'this planet won't let her suffer'?" he asked.
Devon knew his fear; it was one she carried with her everyday. John had been a hard sell where the Terrians were concerned. And she was still uncertain as to how he felt about them, but she knew, from being a parent herself, that if it was a choice between losing True and letting the Terrians heal her, he would let the Terrians take her, no question.
"I mean that it will heal her. Probably not like Uly, but maybe like it saved me." His gaze turned back to his daughter.
"I have to go take over for Baines," he told her and stood up. Devon held on to his hand.
"Just keep believing she will be fine. I know I believe it," she said, giving his hand a squeeze.
He smiled down at her and pulled her to her feet. The force of it caused her to fall against him, not unwillingly. He tip her chin up and bent to kiss her. This time when he told her he had to go relieve Baines on watch his reluctance to leave was for an entirely different reason. She shooed him away, still trying to catch her breath.
Devon Adair slowly swam up out of a deep sleep. She stretched and took a deep breath. Then, noticed, with confusion, that it was still dark out. *Why am I awake, now?* she wondered. She had closed her eyes, hoping to fall asleep again, when she heard it: raspy wheezing. She recognized that sound and sat bolt up right, fully awake. Something must be wrong with Uly, was her first thought. The mother instinct had always warned her when her son was in distress. But he was peacefully asleep in his cot. Nothing wrong there. She followed her gaze around the tent and found True. The little girl was squirming on her cot, and gasping, unable to breathe.
Devon sprinted across the tent to True's side. "True, oh my god, True," she shook her, trying to wake her but the sedative was holding the little girl asleep. True's eyes fluttered open for a fraction of a second, then snapped shut again, as she gaped for breath.
"Breathe. True, come on, breathe," Devon ordered, sitting True up, rubbing her chest and throat and patting her back. The girl's skin was a frightening shade of blue, from lack of oxygen. Devon fought down panic as she scooped True up.
"Mom," Uly called, wake to the confusion. "What's wrong with True?"
"I don't know, Uly. I have to get her to Julia." Devon hurried out of the tent, the little girl cradled in her arms.
John Danziger sat on a crate in the center of camp. It was his night on watch and it was a quiet night. He was finding it hard to stay awake. The only thing keeping him from drifting off was worrying about his daughter. He could not stop thinking about True and he could not put the feeling aside that something was wrong.
"John!"
Danziger jumped to his feet at the frantic outcry. When he saw Devon holding True and rushing toward the medtent he dropped the MagPro and met them on the run."What happened?" he asked, when he saw his daughter struggling in Devon's arms and the color of her skin.
"I don't know. I woke up and she was like this." Devon's eyes were shining with tears as she looked down at True struggling for breathe. Danziger took True from Devon, and they headed for the med tent.
"Julia!" they both hollered and the doctor and Alonzo came running out of her tent.
"What is it?" Julia asked.
"It's True. She's not breathing." Devon told the doctor. Julia looked at the girl and her eyes widened with fear at the color of True's skin."Quick, get her to the med tent."
They rushed to the tent. Danziger laid his daughter on the cot. Julia hurried into her dia-glove and ran it over True."Her trachea is swollen. Her air passages won't clear. There's not enough oxygen getting to her brain. Her pulse is weakening." Julia announced, without her usual clinical detachment, what she was reading to the group which had quickly gathered in and around the tent.
Julia's dia-gloved hand fluttered, nervously, over the girl. She turned her eyes up to Devon, able only to glance at John, who knelt at his daughters side, smoothing her hair back. Tears swam in Devon's eyes as she saw Julia shake her head. Turning her eyes, she found John bending over True, and she could not help thinking about how John had lost Elle. She could only guess at what frightening memories this was dredging up for him.
"Julia, can you do anything?" Devon asked her, desperately. "I don't think respiration would work. The air can't get past her constricted trachea. I don't know what to do for her," Julia said, helplessly. Then she spun around looking for Yale, who stood near the tent opening.
"Yale, do you know what they used to do in asthma cases where the trachea swelled?" He nodded and got that searching look on his face. A shocked expression sprang up on his usually placid face.
"What?" Julia snapped, impatiently. "A shot of adrenaline," he told her. Julia stared at him dumbstruck.
"You've got to be kidding," Devon said, appalled. "No, he's not" Julia said. "It makes perfect sense. The rush of adrenaline will get her heart rate up, again and it will force the air out of her lung, opening up her breathing passages."
Devon gaped at the doctor and Yale for a few seconds then turned her gaze to father and daughter, desperate for what to do. She could hear John's hushed voice whispering to True, his forehead resting, gently on hers. She could not make out any of the words but she did not need to. It would have to be her decision about what to do for True. John was in no shape to make it.
"Just do what you have to do, Julia," she told the doctor. Julia nodded, then turned to prepare another sedaderm. Devon shook Danziger slightly, to get his attention. He didn't respond, so she lowered herself to the ground next to John and slipped her arm around him. He gasped and lifted his head at the touch, surprised, as if he had forgotten there was anyone else in the tent. The look of desperation in his eyes hurt her heart. Then he turned back to his daughter, and he worried her small hand. True squirmed and fought for every bit of air she could get. Devon could not longer watch her suffer. She brought her forehead down to rest on John's back.
"We have to get out of Julia's way," she told him. He shifted his position without rising, to the head of the bed. Julia placed the sedaderm to True's neck, but she was stopped by Alonzo's hand on her wrist. That's when Devon heard it.
The familiar trilling of a friendly Terrian drifted into the tent. All eyes turned to see the creature bend to enter the tent. He straightened to his full height and came to stand by the cot. Julia turned to Alonzo.
"Isn't that--" she began, but he cut her off. "I think so," Alonzo answered. "It's that Terrian we helped."
"But what is he doing here?" Devon asked him. Alonzo shook his head. "Don't look at me. I wish I could take credit, but I'm just as surprised as the rest of you."
"Then how did it know?" Devon asked. "I told him." Devon's gaze shifted to see her son standing in the tent opening. She was speechless. "Nomad's the only ones who can help True, now," Uly said, and stepped forward coming to stand next to Danziger. "Its all right," the boy assured. "He'll make her all better."
Devon watched Danziger for any sign of resistance, but he only stared at her son, astonished. And didn't fight as the Terrian approached.
It crouched down beside the squirming child and placed a hand over her chest. Her struggles ceased. She lay absolutely still. The creature rose, scooping True up and started out of the tent with her. Danziger sprang to his feet, ready to go after his daughter, but Devon was quicker. She grabbed his arm, holding him there. He turned to her, eyes flashing with anger and fear but she held fast to both of his arms.
"John, you have to let her go," she said. He tried to pull away. "You have to let her go, if you want her to live." This stopped his struggles. But he turned hard eyes on Devon and pulled away from her, marching out of the tent.
"Come on, Julia," Devon said. The two women were followed by Alonzo and Yale.
True Danziger felt the earth surrounding her, as she sank beneath it. But she was not afraid. The Terrian stood reassuringly over her as the sensation of life spread through her limbs, the sensation of all life, everything around her and within the earth. Her dizziness, nausea, and constricted breath melted away, into clear breathing passages and a calm stomach. Her skin was tingly. Knowledge of time, of reality skewed, as she slipped into blackness.
"He'll protect her from whatever it is that's making her sick. True'll be all right, Mr. Danziger."
John Danziger had watched the Terrian take his daughter into the Earth, had wanted to go after them, but Uly had stopped him with his words. So, he just knelt in the dirt, waiting.
"Uly, how many times am I going to have to tell you? You don't have to call me Mr. Danziger," he quibed, trying to break the tension but failing. Adair had raised her kid on formalities where he had raised his with familiarities. So, different, yet they all pulled together out here.
"Sorry, John," the boy said uncomfortably. "Uly, do you know why he came for True?" Devon asked. "Because, I asked him to," Uly stated as if it were the most reasonable answer.
"Will they change her like you?" Julia wondered "No," Uly assured. "She won't be like me." "How do you know that?" Devon gaped at him. "I just do."
"What does this mean for True?" Julia asked, no one in particular."I guess only time will tell," Devon stated helplessly. John stared back over his shoulder at the two women, pleading silently for them to tell him this was not happening to his True, that those Diggers were not taking her away from him. They could have anything else they wanted, just not his daughter.
"John," Devon said, crouching beside him. "They're going to return her. But it may be a while. Why don't we go back and try to get some sleep?"
"No, I'm not going anywhere," he stated flatly. "All right," she returned. "Then, I'm staying with you." Devon turned to send Julia away, when she caught sight of her son, who had moved away from them. He was standing like a sentinel over the spot where True had disappeared. Amazing, those two children could fight tooth and nail but when it came right down to it, they were there for each other. Maybe Alonzo, Cameron and Walman had been right, months ago when they had said True and Uly already had a head start on being siblings.
Devon didn't know exactly how long they had sat there, but her rear end was sore, and her back was stiff, and she and John were leaning heavily against each other. And as she looked through the trees toward the horizon, she saw the sky lightening at the edges. Uly now sat, instead of stood guard.
"Devon? John?" She heard Julia calling, as she picked her way through the trees.
Both turned to see the doctor and Alonzo approaching. Devon tried to climb to her feet, but her leg muscles protested painfully. She should know better than to sit in one position for too long.
"Any news, yet?" Julia asked.
Devon shook her head, as she stretched. "Uly told us, we should expect something by morning, so it won't be long," Danziger answered.Julia and Alonzo's gazes shifted to the little boy and Alonzo said, "I didn't realize he was here all night. If I'd known, I would have taken over for him. Can I talk to him?"
"I'm not sure, he seems lucid but he isn't very responsive." Devon made another attempt at getting to her feet. She was getting too old for this, she thought ruefully.
Alonzo ducked his head, in what Devon had come to realize signaled when he was entering the dream plane. He came out of it quickly.
"He's not on the dream plane," he told them. "He must be waiting for them to call him."
"Do you have any idea what's going on, 'Lonz?" Danziger asked, climbing to his feet.
He nodded, glancing at Devon for assurance, she gave it. John was an adult, though unreasonable at times, he could handle it.
"I talked to this Terrian last night, after you left. He say that what True is suffering from is local to this area, it's environmental, not one specific thing and it stretches all the way to New Pacifica. There is nothing that we can do to remedy it. Her only chance was to be changed so that she develops a tolerance to it. He says her change will not go nearly as deep as Uly's, but she will share a connection to the planet." He hesitated, Devon fought the urge to prompt him. "She will be able to understand the Terrians and access the dream plane. They'll want to teach her but not use her. True will be a normal kid. He's assured me of that."
Danziger breathed a long sigh of relief. "When will they bring her back?"
Before Alonzo could answer they heard, "Mr. Dan....John, he wants us to come, now." They all jumped at the sound of the boy's voice. He had been silent all night.
"Come where, Uly?" Danziger asked. "Just over there," he pointed off toward the north. "There's a cave entrance over there. Come on. She'll be up by, now"
The boy bolted before any of the adults could get ahold of him. They were quickly on his heels.
True came to, finding herself stretched out on the floor of a cave, she sat up carefully, half expecting her head to protest the movement and begin making the world spin, but it didn't. And standing before her was the Terrian who had saved her life. He stared back at her, then turned and walked away. She scrambled to her feet following him as he lead her to the small opening to the world above. He left her there, promising her they would meet, again. She understood him suddenly, not comprehending why, just knowing that that was how it was going to be from now on. And knowing that he would be with her and Uly for as long as he was able.
For a second she watched him go, then turned and started through the opening and out of the tunnels, but she got stuck.
"Over here!" She heard Uly shout.
"Uly, wait up!" Devon this time.
"Here she is!" Uly called back. "True, are you in there?" "Yeah!" she hollered. "Come give me a hand, Short-stuff." She saw Uly come into view, a wide grin on his face. With her free hand, she reached out and he clasped his hand around her wrist, in a vain attempt to pull her free, he just wasn't strong enough, the pip-squeak."True, Baby. It's Daddy, are you all--" He cut himself off mid sentence and began to laugh when he saw the predicament his daughter was in, half in - half out of a rabbit hole.
"Quit laughing and get me out of here," she scolded. "Sorry, Baby," he said, and reached out for her. "Here, take my hand."
With a few hard tugs and a little shifting True was extracted from the hole.
"No one seem to realize I'm not that small anymore," she griped, as she picked herself up off the ground.
She didn't get to complain anymore because her father had pulled her into the fiercest, warmest hug he had ever given her. She sank into it, suddenly feeling very tired. Julia rushed to her side, pressing her dia-glove to the girl's neck.
"Are you feeling okay, True?" she asked, busy reading the glove.
"I've never felt better," she answered. Her dad let her go when she pulled away from him, but held onto one of her hands. True stared at Devon, who was beaming at her, unsure of what to say, feeling a funny something in the pit of her stomach, her lungs were tight, and her heart hurt. Then it hit her. She had been sleeping in her dad's tent and Devon was watching over her when it happened. She remembered not being able to breath, then a gentle face appeared in her field of vision and she heard Devon's frantic voice, only the sound, she couldn't remember the words. Devon had gotten her to Julia, and Uly had called the Terrian. With a sudden surge of emotion, True flung herself at Devon, wrapping her thin arms around the woman's neck.
"Thank you," True said.
Devon's her arms came up around True, protectively, and finally the little girl knew what it felt like to feel a mother's love.**We've learned so much about ourselves and each other since we came here. And we still have so much more to learn. But what wondrous things they are to learn. Almost a year to the day since Uly was taken, the Terrians reached out again to save a little girl's life. And to give me a daughter and True a mother. To give us both something we never thought we'd have.** Devon Adair
-The End-
comments and feedback greatly appreciated at: paula.sanders@shawnee.org
This text file was ran through PERL script made by Andy. Original text file is available in Andy's Earth 2 Fan Fiction Archive.