Andy's Fan-Fiction Archive

THE JOURNEY COUNTINED SAGA (PART 4)
HORROR OF LONELINESS
By
Paula Sanders

Timeline: On way to New Pacifica
Author's E-Mail: paula.sanders@shawnee.org

AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Here goes nothing. ;) I rushed to get this completed before I left on Christmas vacation. I hope it doesn't suffer for that. Timeline is pretty self explanatory and I don't want to give too much away by a lengthy set up. So, I'll just let the story speak for itself. ENJOY! And I promise, you will get more in January. Quick note: I screwed up the timeframe, when I did my calculations (math was never one of my strong suits). I said they had been on planet for six months when it was only four. I have tried to fix my mistake here. But you'll probably not even notice. ;)
This is a work of amateur fiction not meant to infringe on any copyrights held by anyone involved in the production of the series _Earth 2_.

The Horror of Loneliness, Section 1/2 (1/7)
by Paula Sanders
copyright 1995

Alonzo Solace
**306 days since we crashed on to this distant planet. I was a different man then. A simple sleep jumper with no family, no ties to anything. We've found that change is inevitable here. It happens in the blink of an eye. Once I was the man who never dreamed. Now, I can't stop dreaming. And, even after all this time, there is one thing I still wonder - will I ever get used to the dreams?**
Alonzo Solace lay, in the dead, quiet of night just before dawn, Julia Heller half draped over him, both were snuggled onto one narrow cot. He shifted, his face tensing in response to distress. Julia breathed a sigh and began to roll away from him but his hold on her was tight. Groaning a protest, he pulled her back against him. She did not wake.
The dream plane's skewed visuals and disorienting effect, disturbed Alonzo like they had not since the first time he had found himself dreaming with the Terrians. Nothing was clear or focused. Everything he saw was malformed and off-center. Lines did not follow their natural courses, and objects seemed to be placed off balance.
Plain white walls surrounded him. He circled, surveying the room and came face to face with Julia. She stood behind a glass partition before Alonzo, held separate from him. Clasped around her neck was what could only be a shock collar. Her gaze, trained on him, was pleading as her hands gripped the collar, tugging at it desperately.
"Julia, what's wrong?" he asked, taking a step forward. Her mouth opened but no sound issued forth. She struggled fiercely to release the shock collar, to no avail. The collar sparked into life and a scream of rage, pain, and fear broke free from Julia's lips and he lunged forward, slamming into the glass, as she crumpled to the ground then faded from the dream plane.
"No!" Alonzo yelled. "Julia! Julia!" He called to her over and over but he was trapped, all alone on the silent dream scape; overwhelming feelings of loneliness and isolation clinging to him.

"Alonzo."
Solace heard Julia's voice meet him as he rose up out of sleep, could feel the pressure of her hand on his bare chest. Her other hand was at his face as she wiped tears from his cheeks.
"You're all right." she assured him, as he opened his eyes. "You're safe. I'm here. You're not alone. I'm here." She had long since quit asking him if it was a Terrian dream when he awoke disturbed like this. "It's all right."
Her crystal eyes - the most amazing eyes he had ever seen - looked down on him with loving concern, and her voice was sweet and welcome to his ears. The feel of her against him sent fire racing through him, and he reached up, pulling her down over him, holding her with desperation. There was no resistance as he captured her in a fierce kiss. But that quickly changed when Julia's hands glided up his chest to his shoulders, as she tried to pull away.
"'Lonzo?" she said, against his lips. He could feel her frown.
He did not respond, verbally, but tangled his fingers in her hair and deepened the kiss. She softened and began to return his passion, sinking into him. He rolled to lay over her and she wrapped her sinewy legs around him.
"Wait," she said, as his lips traveled over her slim neck. "We can't. We have to get up. The group will be up soon."
"They can wait," Alonzo told her, his hand smoothing down her side, then over her belly.
"What has gotten into you?" Julia asked, stopping his hand and holding his gaze.
"What? You don't like me like this?" he asked, caressing her cheek and down her throat.
"I choose not to answer," she replied, grinning. She pushed him back when he bent to kiss her again. "Tell me about the dream?" Julia requested, brushing a lock of dark hair from his eyes. "You were mumbling something about being alone and I heard my name. What were you dreaming about?"
He sighed and rolled over on his side, still holding her. Remembering the dream was the last thing he wanted to do, he tried as best he could to push it back. But the desperation of it clung to him, and would not be shaken off. There were times when he hated the Terrians for invading his mind. It scared him to think that they had such power over him, that they could reduced him to a gibbering idiot with the sending of a dream, something so basic and natural, yet something he had been without for decades.
"It was definitely a Terrian dream. All I remember is loneliness," he began, thinking that if he talked about it the strength of it would lessen. "You were there but I couldn't get to you. You couldn't speak either. And then you just disappeared. Leaving me completely alone. There was nothing."
"What do you think it meant?" she asked. "I don't know," he sighed, still feeling the pain and loneliness gripping his chest. "But it did mean something. It was as if someone or something was trying to communicate with me. To make me experience what he was going through."
"Come on," Julia said, slipping off the cot. "I think we should tell the others about this. That's the second time you've had that same dream."
Alonzo caught her hand, caressing the back of it with his thumb. He was feeling the need to apologize to her for acting so aggressively earlier. He had lost control when he had woken out of that loneliness to see Julia staring down at him. He had wanted to forget the dream. To remind himself that he was not alone. To feel companionship.
"I'm sorry," he apologized.
"Hey," Julia said. "Don't. I just wish you had been like that last night. But you fell asleep on me." She gave him a coy smile and turned to grab her slacks and tug them on.
He propped himself up on his forearm, letting his eyes travel over her slender body.
"I fell asleep?" he protested, playfully. "You were the one yawning."
She looked over her shoulder at him, grinning. He rose from the cot and slipped his arms around her middle, pulling her back against him, and pressed his lips to the curve of her neck. She laid her hands on his, clasped over her middle.
"Tonight, I promise," he whispered. Then, just as abruptly as he had caught her, he released her and went to retrieve his own trousers.

"Cameron, Denner, and Bess are takin' care of the decorations," Baines said, as he laid a case down next to the DuneRail, glancing surreptitiously at True.
"What have they managed to scrounge up?" Danziger asked, placing a generator in the back of the yellow vehicle.
"Not much but you can bet they will do their best with it," Baines replied, smiling.
Danziger, Devon, and Baines were discussing True's birthday, which was in a three days. They wanted to give her as big a party as they had given Uly in the winter camp. But out here, there was even less to work with. It was going to be tough. But not that much different from her other birthdays in the Quadrant. They weren't much, just thrown together gathering straight out of Alex Wentworth's fertile imagination. Alex always had a way of making any place seem like the grandest just by being there, even the pitiful two room unit John and his daughter had shared on the stations. Back then he never could have imagine he would be standing on a distant ball of dirt planning a birthday party for True. So much had happened in the three hundred and sixty-five days since her last birthday, that it almost seemed like another lifetime ago.
John's gaze lingered on his daughter, loading forgotten for a moment. She had grown another three inches in the last six months. She was slowly creeping up on his shoulders. He could hardly believe that it was time for her eleventh birthday. *They grow up so fast.* It seemed like only yesterday she was taking her first steps, saying her first word. He felt Devon's hand on his arm and turned his eyes to her, to find a look of understanding.
"Eleven," he said with a sigh. His gaze returning to his daughter. "She won't be my little girl for much longer."
"John, True will always be your little girl," she assured him.
They noticed Baines wandering off, deciding three's-a-crowd, after another crate or piece of equipment.
"So, what are you and Uly going to give her for her birthday?" Danziger asked.
"I want to keep it a secret." she answered smiling up at him.
It was hopeless for John to try to contain the grin that tugged at the corners of his mouth as John pulled Devon closer.
"I know a way to get an answer out of you," he said, his fingers digging into her side.
"Don't even try it," she warned, her eyes smiling up at him. She had been painfully embarrassed when he had discovered that she was incredibly ticklish.
He relaxed his fingers and bent to kiss her. She responded to the kiss at first then pulled back.
"And don't think that is going to work either, Mister," she said, then smiled and nudged him with her hip. "Come on, let's get moving. We have a lot of ground to cover."
"Yeah, we don't want to keep New Pacifica waiting any longer, do we?" he cocked an eyebrow at her and she mirrored it.
"No, we don't."
He could see by the way her eye were sparkling that she understood what he meant. They were all pushing themselves to make up for the lost time taken by the months spent in the Biodome, nearly half the time they had been on planet had been spent there. They all felt the same urgency about reaching New Pacifica allowing enough time to get the hospital and outpost set up before the colony ship arrived. But John and Devon had their own, personal agenda in getting to the end of this road. They had promised themselves that they would keep separate tents and that they would hold off on taking any steps into a physical relationship until then. Things were just too crazy and unpredictable out here for them to be ready to take what they saw as such a big step. They also thought it might be wiser for them to wait because the children needed to be somewhere they could feel safe and secure, a place they could call home, before their parents sprung major changes on them. Those were all the logical reasons they had come up with. The bottom line, for John, was that Devon did not seem entirely comfortable with taking that step. And he was perfectly willing to respect her wishes. She felt they should be secure in this relationship first. After those first giddy weeks, reality hit and they both began to worry that maybe they had been a little hasty. So, they were not going to rush into anything else.
There were times now, that he could still see her, when he closed his eyes, shut behind that frosted glass, so pale and drawn, all the spark gone from her. And yet, there were other times when he could hardly believe any of it had ever happened, except that he still knew he loved her and visa versa. He was certain though that if he had not been forced to put her in that cryotube they would still be getting on each others nerves, fighting their attraction. They were both too stubborn to have come out and admitted it, bald faced unless they were confronted by something like a lose of one or the other, as they had been.
He shook himself out of his musings, remembering that they were in a hurry to get packed up. He looked around at everyone, as they milled about.
"I think it might be a good idea to take it easy today," Danziger advised. "We're all tired and could do with some rest."
"You might be right," Devon said. "We'll see how the day goes. Let's not waste anymore time."
She moved away from him going back to packing. John watched her walk away, appreciating the way her leggings hugged her hips and thighs and the way she swayed. He had forced himself to be all right with this arrangement, taking it slow, like they had agreed. But sometimes, times like these, or when the sunlight would shine in her hair, she would smile, or he'd just see her cross camp in that no nonsense way she had and he'd want to sweep her off her feet, carry her away from the group and cover her with kisses. Today was one of those days. They still had a long way to go before they got to New Pacifica. And he did not know how much longer he could take this.
He started to follow Devon when he saw Julia and Alonzo exit their tent and make their way to their leader. He quickened his pace to catch up with her.
"Devon," Julia said. "Alonzo has something I think you need to hear about."
"What is it?" Devon asked as the pilot approached. "Are you all right, pal?" Danziger asked, seeing how pale his friend looked.

True Danziger and Ulysses Adair tugged on the straps looped around the tent fabric, to make sure they were secure, then stood up. True slapped her hands together triumphantly, satisfied with a job well done and straightened to gaze around her at the orderly scattering of pieces that had once been camp. She caught sight of Baines, her dad, and Devon standing by the DuneRail. She did not miss the way they abruptly looked away from her when they realized she was watching them.
*Who do they think they're fooling?* she asked herself. Her birthday was in three days and she knew full well what they were up to. She remembered playing a part in this same little charade a few months ago when it had been Uly's birthday. Now, it was her turn and being on the other side she had to laugh at how transparent they all were.
"I bet they think they're being really sly," True said. "Who?" Uly asked, failing at pretending he did not know who True was talking about.
"Them," True answered, waggling a hand in the direction of the small group. "My dad, your mom and Baines. Who do they think they're fooling. Even I could guess they're talkin' about me."
"Talk about conceited," Uly mumbled under his breath. "Me!" True cried incredulous. "Who was the one who went around for three days before his birthday assuming that every new thing was for him?"
"Well, I was right. Most of the time," he challenged, but one True did not rise to.
True was too distracted, watching Baines wander off and her father draw Devon closer, she frowned and lowered her eyes.
"I don't think they're talking about you now," Uly said, in a teasing tone.
With great effort, True suppressed the urge to punch Uly. He was unbelievable. It did not seem to bother him one bit that his mother and her father were wrapped around each other. How did he do it? She liked Devon all right but the thought of her and Dad together was another thing entirely. True knew intellectually that this was a good thing for her dad and Devon, had seen it coming for a long time. She was not dense. But that did not mean she had to be crazy about the reality of it.
"It doesn't matter," True snapped. "Come on, help me with this." She lifted up the bundle and she and Uly carried it to the TransRover.

A small group gathered for a quick breakfast before they headed out. They were; Julia and Alonzo, Devon, Danziger, Yale, Bess, and Morgan. The others were busy packing, having already eaten. Alonzo had shared his memory of the dream with them and, as he did, noticed the oddest expression form on Devon's face. Yale was watching her carefully.
"Devon, are you okay?" Alonzo asked, when he had finished. All eyes turned to the leader of the Eden Advance Crew, and she let her eyes skim over all of them, as she tried to maintain an impassive mask. Devon might have gotten away with it, had they not known her so well. She could not disguise her discomfort from any of them, especially not John Danziger. He gave her that don't-lie-to-me look that no one was impervious to.
"Uly had a similar dream last night," Devon admitted after a long sigh. "And I think he had it the night before, as well."
Alonzo nodded. He had suspected that the little boy would have had the dream. He wondered how Uly interpreted it and how he had reacted. The Terrians did not often send important dreams to Uly. They were still teaching him how to use the dream plane and what it meant to be a Terrian. The little boy was not ready to be the go-between, yet. That still fell in Alonzo's lap. Though he would not wish dreams like this on anyone, there were times, like now, he could not wait for the day when the Terrians deemed Uly mature enough and got out of the pilot's head.
"What did Uly tell you about his dream?" Alonzo asked. "Not much," Devon answered, her eyes drifting to her son, who was helping True store some tent canvas in the TransRover. "He said he was alone. Very alone. Like there was nothing else in the world but him. He launched himself at me when he woke up. And I had to pry his arms from my neck."
Alonzo glanced at Julia, seeing her blush slightly and sneak a glance at him.
"Could it be the Terrians?" Danziger asked. "It has to be," Alonzo answered.
"But what would the Terrians know of loneliness?" Yale asked. "They are all linked, through the dream plane, to each other."
"Maybe one is cut off from the other Terrians somehow," Alonzo suggested.
"But he can use the dream plane," Julia pointed out. "If he were truly cut off he should not be able to access the dream plane."
"What about that Terrian that took over Danziger?" Morgan piped up. "It could use the dream plane and the other Terrians couldn't do anything about it."
Alonzo grimaced remembering the ordeal and catching Danziger's self conscious gaze. They all knew that the whole experience had been beyond John's control, none of them blamed him for what happened.
"We don't understand the dream plane enough to make these kinds of assumptions," Devon threw in, calling for a slight change of subject.
"I know enough to know when it's not being used properly," Alonzo told her. "And this Terrian seems to have no idea what he is doing. He's not using the dream plane the way I'm used to. Maybe he is having trouble with it."
"What kind of trouble?" Devon asked. "I don't know," Alonzo snapped, in frustration. There was nothing about the dream that he could hang onto. It kept fading in and out of his memory, but the feelings of isolation clung to him viciously.
"The Terrian dreams aren't usually so personal," he attempted to explain. "This time I was the Terrian. What was happening to him was happening to me. It's also not as clear and focused as most of the Terrian dreams I have. This loneliness is powerful and real. He is alone."
"So, you think this Terrian has been abandoned or lost," Danziger said.
"Maybe, he's lost from his tribe," Alonzo said. "I don't know."
"I wish there were someway we could help this Terrian," Devon said. "Do you think he might be around here somewhere?"
"I can't be sure. Maybe tonight I can try to find something out," Alonzo offered.
"We can hope," Devon said getting to her feet, breakfast finished. "Let's get moving."
The End of part 1

The Horror of Loneliness, Section 1/2 (2/7)
by Paula Sanders
copyright 1995

"Danziger," Devon's voice sounded from the gear which was looped around his neck. "I think we should stop early today. Everyone could use the rest. Let's halt the vehicles here."
Emily Kirkland looked over to where John Danziger sat at the TransRover's controls.
John smirked and replied, "Sounds good to me." There was a private joke in there somewhere, one that only the two of them shared. Emily remembered those little things, remembered being head over heals in love. But something was wrong with this picture. John was not with Devon, he was with Emily and True riding in the TransRover's cab. And, instead of spending the day at the side of the man she loved, Devon Adair was walking along ahead of the vehicles, alone. Emily thought it was strange that Devon had given her the seat in the cab but being tired and sore she had not objected.
The vehicle came to a jarring halt and True scrambled over her father to get out of the TransRover.
"Come on, Dad. Emily," she called as she hopped down. "Wait up, True!" John called but she was long gone, down the side of the vehicle and around the back.
He turned back to the controls shaking his head and laughing. Emily saw Devon approach the vehicle and John's gaze follow the brunette woman. Devon smiled up at him. Emily kicked the door to the cab open and hopped out.
"Enjoy your ride?" Devon asked.
"I think you might have enjoyed it more," Emily answered as she went after her sister-in-law and brother. "I know John would have," she threw over her shoulder.
"I bet we'll get our tent set up before your's," Uly bragged, as he ran past.
"No, you won't. Nobody's faster than me and my dad," True returned, as she trailed after him, trying to over take him.
"It's always a competition with them," she heard Bess say. Emily looked up to see her sister-in-law standing up on the TransRover's overloaded flatbed trying to pull her tent bundle free. Morgan was standing below her waiting for her to pass it down to him.
"Yeah well, that's just the way it is with siblings, right Morgan?" Emily said winking at her brother.
"Oh boy, is it ever," he replied. "Those two have got a big head start in that department."
"I sure wish their parents were as enthusiastic as those two." Bess cocked an eyebrow.
Emily's shocked gaze turned to Bess. She was still getting used the her sister's involvement in other people's affairs. She and Morgan had always been brought up to worry about themselves and let others take care of themselves. It had taken Alec's influence and willingness to get involved to overcome that brainwashing. But she still did not like to butt into other people's business. Here in this small group it was hard not to get involved and she often found herself in the middle of things, mostly along with Bess, with Morgan sitting on the sidelines begging them to stay out of it.
Emily followed Bess's gaze and found Yale helping Devon set up her tent and True Danziger heading from the TransRover with her arms full of tent fabric following her dad who was loaded down with their possessions and had a bundle of tent poles tucked under one arm. Turning back to Bess she saw her face sink into a frown.
"Even after all this time they still set up two tents," Bess said.
"So," Morgan replied. "What does it matter?" "Morgan, I know you're not that dense," Bess chastised, ceasing her struggle for a moment, to gaze down on her husband.
"If they see the need to sleep in separate tents then who are we to tell them different," He told his wife.
Bess tugged the bundle free.
"I know there's a romantic bone in there somewhere," she said, throwing the bundle down to him. "I just saw it yesterday." She smiled broadly.
"Bess," Morgan hissed, blushing and glancing at his sister. Both woman shared a laugh and he shifted uneasily, ducking his head. Bess jumped down from the flatbed and coming up behind him, slipped her arms around her husband, smiling up at him sweetly. Emily could not contain the smile which spread across her face. Four months she had spent with these people and she felt like a different person; freer, happier, and more alive than she had felt in years. She understood now that the changes she had seen in her brother were due to the influence of this group and the wonders which this planet held. It was impossible to not be affected by that. And Morgan and Bess were so happy together that it lifted her spirits just to be near them.
"Oh, lighten up, Morgan," Emily told him, teasing, then turned to Bess. "So, why are Devon and Danziger still bothering with two separate tents?"
"Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe it's the kids," Bess said.
After four months as a part of this group Emily had come to know them all pretty well. But she still had a lot to learn. One thing she was sure of was that True and Uly came first in their respective parents lives. That had not changed with the change in their relationship.
"You two have fun speculating about other people's love live's. I'm gonna get our tent set up." Morgan marched off with a superior attitude and the tent bundle draped over his arms.
Bess made a good natured, disgruntled face at him then turned back to the TransRover.
"Hey, Cameron," Bess called to the russet haired man standing up on the flatbed. He turned to look at her. "Can you hand me that red crate, there?" She gestured to the one she wanted. "Yeah, that one." He lifted it up and lowered it down to her. "Thanks."
"They hardly ever take any time to themselves," Emily said taking the crate from Bess, who then turned and hefted out another one.
"Um-hmm," Bess agreed. "It's like pulling teeth to get them to spend any time alone together. I thought after we talked to them things would change but it hasn't. Not much any way."
"You talked to them?" Emily asked, this was something she missed out on.
"Oh, sorry," Bess said. "Sometimes I forget just how much you've not been here for." She looked sheepish and Emily smiled reassuring. "A few days after Devon was healed and they admitted their feeling. They were trying to pretend things were still exactly the same, when they weren't. So, we all kind of ambushed them and told them we were happy for them and that we wanted to take some of the load off of them. We hoped that would free them up to relax and enjoy themselves but things don't seem to be too much different."
Emily's gaze shifted to the four setting up their tents. She felt like she had missed so much. Six months of these people's lives had gone by before she had joined them. She knew a little of what had happened but not the feelings. Not what they had really gone through together.
It had surprised her to see Devon Adair displaying such affection and relying on any man besides Yale. The Devon she remembered from the stations was so closed off, so guarded she never would have opened her heart to anyone and let them into her life. As Emily had come to know John Danziger she had realized what had opened Devon's heart and broken down those walls. There was something about Danziger that made a person instinctively trust and respect him. She could not say exactly what it was but she felt it. Maybe it was the way he gave his trust so freely and opened himself up. Though he seemed unguarded, compared to someone like Devon, he did have his defenses. They had something to do with his position in life, coming from the Quadrant, like he had, made him hesitant about volunteering information or stepping outside the bounds of his position to challenge authority. As if in doing so he would be saying that the person in charge, that being Devon in this case, was incapable. But Emily could tell that Devon's trust in him, respect, and love for him were slowly changing that. She also knew those defenses had something to do with True's mother. There were some old wounds, undealt with heartache, which still festered within him. Seeing the couple now, so happy and helping each other to heal, Emily wondered what had happened to bring them to where they were now.
"What was it like between them before?" Emily asked curious. Bess laughed and said, "You would have loved it. They were a real tangle." The two women headed in the direction of Morgan who was struggling to get the fabric spread out on the ground. "They fought all the time about anything and everything. They actually seemed to enjoy it. Her protectiveness always had her on the defensive. If he got too close Devon blew up at him. Probably hoping her anger would keep him at a distance. It would work on most men but not John Danziger. It would take a lot more than Devon's wrath to scare him off."
"I don't hear them arguing all that much, now. What changed that?"
"I don't know exactly," Bess admitted. "It just kind of happened, slowly. There was one time when they got lost on the other side of this time space fold. Do you know about that?"
"Yeah, I think True was telling me about it when I asked about New Pacifica."
"Okay, well we don't really know what happened but something did because after that, they argued less and less. Do you remember the ZED incident?" Emily nodded. "It was actually Danziger who was shot. Not Uly. And Devon was a basket case. We had no idea where he was and so little time to find him before the bullet exploded. That was the first time I realized how important he had become to her. There was also that time he, Alonzo, Julia and Morgan were lost to us. I know Morgan told you about that. We were all so worried. Devon was terrified for all of them. When they came home, Yale told me later that Devon practically threw herself at John, she was so relieved. I'd bet you that if he had not been holding True she would have thrown her arms around him."
"You are a hopeless romantic, Bess," Emily said, laughing. "That's what keeps life fun," Bess replied, her eyes sparkling. "Those two have been through more near misses and close calls in the past ten months than most people have to go through in a life time. And most of them were in those first four months. John was always at her side. He seemed determined that she wouldn't have to go through any of it alone, no matter how hard she tried to fight him off. And suddenly she started to be there for him, too. Those two are made for each other."
"Sounds like it," Emily agreed. "So, why, if they know how they feel, do they sleep in separate tents?"
Bess's gaze shifted again to Uly who was helping Devon straighten up the tent poles, pulling the fabric taut over them. True was hurriedly helping her dad set up their tent, trying to beat Uly.
"There's your answer," Bess told Emily. "Danziger has always been the center of True's life. He's her only parent and it has been just the two of them for so long that it's going to be a hard adjustment making room for Devon. It's the same with Uly. But ya know?" Bess turned to her sister-in-law. "I think five months is long enough."
Bess altered her course so she would have to pass by Devon, Emily started to follow her.
"Emily," Denner called. "Wanna give me a hand here?" Denner was a few feet away spreading out their tent fabric. The other woman had offered Emily space in her tent after she was feeling stronger, and not wanting to invade Bess and Morgan's only private space here any longer she had taken Denner up on the offer.
"Yeah, sure," Emily replied and made her way over there. As she walked she could hear Bess say, "Hey, Devon. Can I be of any help?"
"Hi, Bess. No we're fine," Devon replied. "I don't see why you should continue to keep two tents," she said. "It would be easier for you to just share one."
Devon did not reply. Probably a wise move, Emily suspected. "Devon, can I talk to you later?" Bess asked. "Sure, about what?"
"A personal matter," Bess said simply. Emily giggle quietly as she approached Denner. Devon was in big trouble now, and she had no clue what she was in for.

The sun was still fairly high in a sky awash with the pale pinks and oranges of an early sunset, as Devon gathered her maps into a pile and picked them up. Her eyes caught sight of John Danziger slipping out from under the DuneRail. As he climbed to his feet, she caught herself admiring his tight, round rear end. Sometimes she was all right with their arrangement of separate tents and keeping things as they were. And then other times, like now, or when she would see him talking with True or just walking across camp and she would want to tackle him to the ground, ambush him and drag him into the nearest tent, to kiss him all over. When he actually touched her, god help them.
*You were the one who wanted to take it slow,* she reminded herself.
Devon was all jumbled up inside. Sometimes, it was so easy to bury herself in her work, planning for the colonists, she could forget about John. He could walk past her and she would not even notice, well hardly notice. Then, other times, all it would take was having his presence within a few yards of her and her mind would go completely blank of anything another than; his hands, every line of his face and entire body. Now was one of those times.
Devon hugged the maps to her, which caused her to remember what she had been doing. She turned to store them in the crate they had come out of, when she saw Bess sitting by herself gazing off into the distance, the way they had come. There was a wistful expression on her face, as if she were sad about what they were leaving behind. But there was nothing different or special about that land. It had rocks and trees and dirt just like everywhere else on this planet. Devon decided that maybe now would be a good time to have that talk Bess had requested. She put the maps away and headed for Bess.
"Bess, are you all right?" Devon asked as she drew near. "Oh, I'm fine," Bess answered. "I was just thinking." "About what?" Devon prompted.
"This place. Where we've been. Where we are going. And everything we have been through and will go through before we get there."
"That must be keeping you pretty busy," Devon said, with a smile.
"Sometimes I find this place so impossible to believe." Bess shook her head, smiling. "The Earth I knew was nothing like this. It was lifeless. I can't imagine, now, how we ever survived there." Bess's gaze swept over the ridge and the horizon. "It's so beautiful here. I feel so overwhelmed by this planet sometimes that all I can do is stare."
"I know what you mean," Devon said, smiling. "Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?"
Bess's head lowered and a slow smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. She turned to Devon slowly, and dread sprang up in Adair at the look in Mrs. Martin's eyes. That look was Bess Martin's now infamous matchmaker expression. It had not taken long for everyone to recognize it and begin to dread it if they were the target. Devon tried to smile good naturedly.
"Not exactly," Bess replied. "I was just wondering why you and John still maintain two tents. It seems sort of inconvenient to me." One of the woman's dark eyebrow arced toward her hairline.
"It's not inconvenient, Bess." Devon said barely containing her annoyance. "We didn't want to change things too quickly."
"I'd say five months is slow enough, wouldn't you?" Bess tried.
Devon had not always been on the best of terms with Bess, and right now was one of those times when she was not too crazy about her.
"I don't know why we're even talking about this," Devon snapped. "It's none of your business how many tents John and I keep."
Adair turned to stalk away.
"Devon, wait."
The remorseful tone of Bess's voice made Devon stop and turned around.
"I'm sorry," Bess apologized. "I tend to stick my nose in where it doesn't belong. But that's something we have in common. Neither of us can stand by and keep our mouths shut."
Devon had to admit this was true. She smiled at Bess. "Sorry," Devon apologized. "It's just, I'm still not used to these friendly chats. And this is an uncomfortable subject for me."
"So, I'm guessing you and John haven't..." Bess let the words train off, while making a prompting gesture with her hand.
"No," Devon admitted. "We haven't." Bess looked over at Devon, who had taken a seat next to her. The look in her wide, blue eyes brought the uneasiness rushing back to Devon.
"Can I ask why you haven't?" Bess ventured. Devon opened her mouth to speak but Bess talked right through it. "When Morgan and I were first dating, I could hardly contain myself. I know you probably find it hard to imagine, but he can be very sexy, when he tries." Bess glanced at Danziger who was sitting with Walman and Magus. "I don't know how you contain yourself with John. He's not as. . . subtle," an elegant eyebrow arched, "as Morgan."
Devon felt her face flush hotly. "I'm not doing a very good job," Devon admitted and giggled self consciously, hardly believing she was admitting this to Bess. The other woman's laughter joined her own and the tension was broken.
"So why don't you go for it, if it's something you both want?" Bess asked.
"I just want to be sure, that's all," Devon answered. "It all happened so fast. One minute I'm fighting with him and the next we're saying 'I love you'. We wanted to be sure that our feelings were not just because I nearly died."
"Devon, I could have told you a long time ago that it wasn't just because he nearly lost you. And if you had been in my shoes watching you two, for the four months before that, you'd be just as certain as I am. And you wouldn't see the need to wait."
Bess smiled and rose, leaving Devon to contemplate her words.
The End of part 2

The Horror of Loneliness, Section 1/2 (3/7)
by Paula Sanders
copyright 1995

The day passed uneventfully, as did the evening. But for one member of the group it was not an easy day. Julia spared an uneasy glance at Alonzo, who was standing next to her, almost touching her arm, as she tried to prepare for bed. She was worried about him and beginning to find his constant presence annoying. Everywhere that she went, every time she turned around, there was Alonzo. He liked to be close to her, sometimes got uncomfortably into her personal space. She loved him but this was a bit much. Somehow it was different. He was not playing seducer now, he seemed more like a lost child, seeking comfort and reassurance.
As they lay down to sleep, Alonzo kept shifting his position as if he could not seem to get close enough to her. Julia soon found herself nearly hanging off the edge of the cot. He shifted again and even Julia's grasping fingers could not keep her from falling off the cot. She hit the ground with a loud thud. Alonzo jerked up on the cot and eyed her, confused.
"How'd you get down there?" he asked, in a sleepy mumble. "You are hogging the cot," she accused, glaring at him. She struggled to right herself and he reached out a hand. Her frown melted away at the winsome sparkle in his eyes and she took the offered hand. He drew her back onto the cot to sit next to him.
"Alonzo, you know I love having you to cuddle with, but this is ridiculous." She smiled, smoothing a hand over his chest.
His eyes were guilty, as if she had caught him in something. She knew these dream were disturbing him. They always did, but never to this extent. She was worried. But there was nothing Alonzo could tell her that would ease her nerves. So, she had decided to leave it for now.
"Sorry," he apologized. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
"I'm not uncomfortable," she assured him. "Though, It'd be nice to have a little space on the cot."
He grinned and pulled her closer, as she settled back down into the warm curve of his body.
"Hey, what about that promise you made to me this morning?" she asked, smiling.
"Oh yeah, that," he said returning her smile as he leaned down to kiss her. A slight moan escaped her throat as he wrapped his arms tightly around her, pulling her over him.

Devon tossed on her cot, fighting against her dreams. She stood in an ordinary Terrian cave. Something made her turn around; a sound or a feeling she was not sure which. And she saw Uly crouched in the corner of the chamber, his hands flat against the ground. Devon started walking to him but when she reached him she slammed up against and invisible barrier. The boy looked up at her and trilled sadly. Then he faded before her eyes, leaving her alone in the cave with no way to get out.
"Uly!" she called. "No! Uly!"
With a start Devon woke. She gazed around her, trying to regain her equilibrium. It comforted her to see that Uly was peacefully sleeping on his cot. Devon threw her covers aside and crossed the tent to her son. She laid a hand gently on his forehead, smoothing his hair back. He trilled softly in his sleep, making the hair on the back of Devon's neck stand on end. A Terrian dream had him in it's grip tonight.
The night was cool and strangely quiet. Feeling restless, Devon stood and went out into camp. She could not remember who was supposed to be on watch tonight, so when she saw Danziger standing by the fire, MagPro hung from his shoulder, it was a pleasant surprise.
Slowly, over the last five months, Devon was becoming more comfortable with this new romance in her life. She and John had been taking it easy. After the first few weeks the reality had hit and both began to worry that this new found love was only an after shock of her brush with death. They decided not to rush into anything, to take it slow and enjoy getting to know each other better, like an old fashioned courtship. They had found time to be alone together, when they could just talk. They shared stories about their children; war stories about cranky babies, Devon's battles with doctors, the difficulties they both had raising children alone, and how frightened he had been waiting for True to be born. Devon had always found it endearing to hear him talk about True. She was his center. Devon could never hope to become that important to him. She would come close but no one could take his daughter's place in his heart.
One subject they steered away from was Eleanor Moore. She was unsure how he would feel about discussing True's mother. Those wounds were still raw and made fresh again by this planet. She decided it was best if they waited until they were more secure with each other. Then they could share their most painful memories.
Devon had never enjoyed herself more than during this romantic courtship. She thought she had known John Danziger before, but she quickly found that there was a whole side of him she did not know; a vulnerable and damaged side which she had been blinded to because she did not want to let herself see it, knowing it would draw her in. And there was a silly, romantic side which she never would have guessed he possessed even an ounce of.
With that thought came the memory of a day, not too far distant. She had gone off with Bess and Mazati collecting berries, fruit, and other edible plant life. They had returned just before dark, with quite a haul and very tired. She had gone straight to her tent, after making sure that things had held together without her, to wet her grimy face and wanting very much to fall into bed and sleep. Danziger had ducked into the tent with a bowl of food, a bunch of wildflowers, and an offer to rub her tired feet. His hand were soothing to her aching feet and it felt so good he could have gotten her to do anything after that. The fact of her weariness and that Uly and True came bursting into the tent, eager to tell her all that they had done that day were the only things that had kept that evening from turning into anything more. By the time they got the children settle down, Devon had fallen asleep, her son in her arms. Danziger must have seen all three to bed, because Devon woke up the next morning in her cot, alone.
"I don't know if you should be out here, Adair," Danziger told her playfully, when he noticed her approaching. "How am I supposed keep my eyes on the perimeter with you hangin' around?"
"Remember, John, mature and sensible," she returned smiling shyly.
That had become their code when things started to get out of hand between them, and they needed to be reminded that they were taking things slowly. So, far they had been behaving themselves. But she was not sure how long that would last. This journey was taking longer than they had expected and their agreement to keep things as they were was beginning to make little sense. Maybe Bess was right.
"So, what are you doin' out here? Havin' trouble sleeping?" he asked, stepping closer to her.
"Yeah, I just had a very disturbing dream," she told him. "I know this might sound strange but it might be the one Alonzo was talking about."
"Do you ever have Terrian dreams?" John asked and she shrugged her shoulder.
"Sometimes." She hugged her jacket tightly around her. "I don't like this place. There's something about it that doesn't feel right."
"I don't like this place much either, but we don't really have much choice. This is the most direct route through this area."
"I know," she agreed.
John slipped his arm around Devon, pulling her close to him. "We'll be out of here soon," he assured. "Especially the way you've been pushing us."
"Me," she said innocently and a sly grin creased his face. "We all want to get to New Pacifica as soon as we can."
"Some more than others," he teased and she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly.
She felt the gentle pressure of his lips against her hair and reached for his right hand, bringing the palm to her lips. John cupped her cheek, tilting her face up. Devon felt John's lips descend on hers, and quickly responded to the kiss eagerly. She could not believe she was standing with Danziger in the middle of camp, freely kissing him. And what's more she did not care if anyone saw them.

True Danziger dreamed of a happy family unit.
She dreamed of her mother and father together with her. But they were ripped away from her, before she ever had a chance to grow. She was alone with no one to teach her, to help her to learn and mature.
"Daddy!" True cried, as she came up out of sleep. Her eyes wild, she scanned the tent then remembered that her dad was on watch tonight. She slid off of the cot and headed out of the tent, rubbing her sleepy eyes.
True stumbled out into the camp, her blanket draped around her shoulders. Her eyes grew large and jealousy crept into her heart when she saw her father and Devon standing by the fire, in each others arms. Her dad's back was to the little girl. True's face tensed into a frown as she made her way to the two people.
"Daddy," she called, announcing herself. Devon and Danziger broke away from each other quickly and turned to True.
"What is it, sweetheart?" he asked. "I. . .," she glanced nervously at Devon. "I had a bad dream," she admitted.
"What kind of dream, True?" Devon asked. True looked at Devon, trying to control her anger. "I was all alone. You were there and then something took you away from me." True looked up at her father.
"It spooked you, huh, Sport?" her dad surmised, kneeling before her. She nodded.
Devon could feel the girl's apprehension. She was uncomfortable with Devon. Their relationship had always been a shaky one. Devon was constantly worried that the girl would suddenly take it into her head to disapprove of the relationship between Devon and Danziger and make Adair's life miserable. So far, True was accepting it quite nicely. But something about the look that True was giving her right now made Devon's heart plummet into her shoes.
"True, do you want to talk about it," Devon said, trying to be friendly. "It might help."
"No," True said hastily, causing John to gaze up at Devon nervously. "I'll just go back to our tent. It was nothing. I'm just being silly."
She turned and ran. John grasped the empty air, missing her. "True," he called but she did not stop then disappeared behind the tent flap.
John bowed his head, sighing and got to his feet. Devon knew that defeated look, had seen it one too many times.
"I should go talk to her," he said, turning to Devon. "I'll take watch until Walman shows up," Devon offered, taking the MagPro from him.
She was not in the habit of taking watch alone but she figured it was the least she could do. The relieved smile on John's face was all she needed in thanks.
"Thank you," he said, gave her a quick kiss and went to talk to his daughter.

True lay on the pallet of sleeping bags she and her dad spread out for themselves, eyes closed, images of her mother playing against her eyelids. She wanted to shut those images off, did not want to think about her mother. But that dream had brought all that loneliness and pain to the surface. Most of the time True did not think about the mother she had never known. It did not seem to matter, most of the time. She had her dad and all the people around her. But every once in a while that grief would creep up on her and engulf her. Her sleep would be filled with scenes of her parents with her, together, laughing and happy.
The tent flap was pulled back and her father enter. "You didn't have to come in here," True said, her voice tight as her dad approached.
"Well, I'm here now," he said, sitting down next to her. "So, do you want to tell me about the dream?"
"No," she replied. "It was nothing. Why don't you go back to Devon?"
"What?" he asked frowning.
"You'd rather be with her, right?" she threw at him. "No," he told her, his brow furrowed. "What makes you think that?"
"Because I see how you guys are together. I saw you two out there." She turned away from him embarrassed. "You couldn't wait to get rid of me."
"That's not true." He shifted nervously. "I was on watch. I couldn't get away."
"You would have let me stay with you, before," she reminded him.
"You were the one who ran off," He returned. She was feeling silly. This was not how a father and daughter were supposed to act. This was not how they usually acted with each other.
"I thought you were all right with this," he tried. "I am. Just forget it." She turned over to face the tent wall.
Danziger took this as his cue that the conversation was over. That was fine with him. They were both tired and now was not the best time to get into this. He swiveled and settled down next to her.
This whole relationship with Devon had practically turned things upside down and Uly and True were caught in the middle. They were a part of this, too. John and Devon could not ignore their kids and had been trying hard to include the children, not make them feel left out. Things seemed to be going smoothly the kids were handling it with grace, so far. He hoped that would not change suddenly.
Danziger closed his eyes, trying to catch a few hours of sleep, and thoughts of Devon instantaneously sprang to his mind.
The last few months had been the oddest of his life, so far. They even surpassed all the months spent here since the crash. He and Devon had been having what could only be describe as an old fashioned courtship, just as if they were back on the stations. Well, not entirely, they would never have even given a seconds thought to each other on the stations. But, here on G889, they had let themselves be talked into silly things like a moonlight ride in the DuneRail and loosely chaperoned picnic, the closest thing to a date they could get out here. They sat and talked, all evening sometimes, about anything and everything. He thought he had known Devon, but he had rapidly found that he hardly knew her at all. He knew the beautiful, strong, caring, independent, ornery, stubborn, and infuriating woman who got under his skin and silently begged for his understanding and support. The most fun part of these last five months had been getting to know the real Devon Adair. Getting to know the woman who loved the rain, gazing at the stars, telling scary stories to Uly, hated the dark and the cold, had grown up isolated from the world, with Yale as her only companion and guide, was determined that Uly not be so isolated, but was afraid to trust anyone, for fear she would be left vulnerable by that trust. He could hardly believe that out here at the edge of nowhere he was "dating" a woman who would have been completely out of his reach on the stations.
He had not felt more energized or happy in years, possibly since True's birth. That had been possibly the single most wonderful and terrifying day of his life. Holding his daughter for the first time, having her black eyes staring up at him quizzically, her tiny fingers curling around his pinky in a surprisingly strong grip had been mesmerizing and astonishing. That he had helped to create this precious life he had been holding was mind boggling. Now, that tiny helpless life was a precocious almost eleven year old girl. And he was beginning to feel his age.
What was he doing day dreaming, acting like a teenager with Devon? He was a grown man with a daughter. A smile crept on to his lips. What did he care? What did age matter? He was having the time of his life in the most unlikely of places.
"Daddy," a restless voice said.
"Hmm," he replied sleepily.
"I am all right with it, really," she told him. She rose up beside him, flipping her hair over her shoulder, curling her long legs under her. "Devon makes you happy and that is all that matters to me."
Danziger blinked at his daughter, bewildered. She never ceased to amaze him. One minute she was tearing around camp after Uly, arguing about who was "It" last time, the next she was saying things like she just had, acting far too mature for her age.
"Are you happy, True-girl?" he asked her, patting her thigh. "Does that really matter?" she returned. "You know it does," he told her with a frown. Her happiness was more important to him than his own.
"Then, I'm happy," she answered and sank down beside him. Not one word more was said about the subject that night. Danziger may not have believed his daughter but there was no point in dragging the conversation out. It could wait until morning.
The End of part 3

The Horror of Loneliness, Section 1/2 (4/7)
by Paula Sanders
copyright 1995

"Is anyone there?" Alonzo Solace called.
The dream plane held him in its grasp. He circled around, scanning the caves were he stood. Randomly deciding on a direction, he headed off through the maze. It was deadly silent here on the dream plane. He missed the soft, reassuring song of the Terrians. And where was the constant sense that he was surrounded? Where was the sense of companionship he expected to find when he was on the dream plane? This place held an overwhelming sense of nothingness. The sense of peace and connectedness he had come to rely on had been ripped away from him.
Still, in the distance, in a place he could not seem to reach there was someone or something. He was not sure who or what but that presence was there. Driven by the need to find this thing he continued on, calling out.
Suddenly, as he rounded a corner a Terrian rose up in front of him. This creature was different than most of the Terrians they had encountered. It hissed at him, angrily and lashed out.
Alonzo shot up out of sleep, to find himself alone. For a panicked moment the dream held him. Then, he hear the comforting sounds of people moving about outside the tent. He threw aside the blanket, stood and pulled on his trousers and shirt before venturing out.
"Good morning," Julia said, greeting him with a quick kiss. "I tried to wake you, but you weren't responding. I figured after last night you needed to sleep." She smiled coyly and took his hand leading him to the breakfast line.
Unsure of how to respond, so he just smiled. Alonzo gripped Julia's hand as they walked to get their food. The need for closeness, and connectedness was suffocating him. He felt he would never be free of it, no matter how hard he held onto Julia. There seemed to be nothing he could do to combat it.
Julia tried to wrench her hand free from his grasp when Bess handed her a plate and Julia tried to reach for a cup.
"Alonzo, can I have my hand back, please," Julia asked, eyeing him curiously.
He looked down at their linked hands, confused, they suddenly seemed to be one instead of two. Julia uncurled her fingers from his hand, breaking the spell, silently asking to be released. Alonzo shook himself.
"Sorry," he said, forcing himself to let go of her. "Are you all right?" Bess asked as she handed Alonzo his bowl.
"I'm fine. It's just those dreams, again." "I had a strange dream last night, too," Bess admitted. "Were you alone?" Alonzo asked, curious. "Sort of," Bess answered. "I remember that my father was there, but I couldn't talk to him or touch him. Then he suddenly disappeared."
Concern rose in Alonzo. Could it be that the dream was spreading? Maybe this Terrian had no way of controlling who received his message. It could be that he was just broadcasting it, and the less sensitive were picking up a diluted version. They rarely encountered anything like this.
He reflected back on his experiences with the dream plane. The Terrian who was the only free member of his tribe which had been captured by Gaal. That Terrians had managed to dream only to Alonzo. The dreams of Dell Curry's message to her son, where like what Alonzo was experiencing, now. The dream plane had learned the VR message and was playing it back for anyone who was in reach. Those dreams had haunted the entire group, for nights. The ancient Terrian they had discovered froze in a block of ice, had sent dreams to all the men, identifying with their aggression. Alonzo had been forced to battle that Terrian on the dream plane. A shudder went through him as she wondered if he would have to repeat that experience with this Terrians.
"Are you all right?" Julia asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he told her, smiling. But he suspected he didn't reassure her.
They walked to join the small group of Danziger, Yale, Walman, Magus, Uly and Devon who were already eating.
"Have any luck finding out anything about this Terrian?" Devon asked as they approached.
"No," Alonzo told her. "How about you, Uly?" the pilot asked looking down at the little boy. "See any Terrians in your dreams last night."
"Yeah," the boy replied. "But he wasn't very friendly. He wouldn't talk to me. I think he was scared."
Alonzo admirably covered his shock to learn that Uly had actually managed to speak to the creature. He quickly reminded himself that Uly had a deep bond with all Terrians. Every tribe recognized this small boy who was the human link they had been searching for, for decades.
"I think we're closer to him, now," Alonzo said. "This dream wasn't as vague as the others."
"I'm going out with the scouting party this morning," Devon said. "We'll keep an eye out for Terrians."
Devon finished her last spoonful of breakfast and got to her feet. "John, Magus, you ready."
"I'll go get Baines," Magus said. "Meet you at the DuneRail in two minutes."
"You get the group to the rendevouz point fifteen kilometers from here," Devon told Yale. "We'll meet up with you later, today."
"Don't worry about us," Yale said. "You just take care of yourself."

True sat by herself, ignoring the dawn creeping over the horizon. She stared down at a little VR program chip, which nestled in her palm. This was the VR program she had been in when she had finally seen her mother for the first time. She usually kept it safely tucked away in her pack. But today she needed to be close to it for some childish reason. The memory of the dream last night still haunted her, and all she could think about was her mother.
"Hey, True," Danziger called.
She quickly clasped her hand around the chip when she looked up to see her father approaching.
"Yeah Dad," she said.
"Just wanted to let you know, I'm leaving." He frowned. "You gonna be all right?"
"Sure, why wouldn't I be?" she forced a smile, for his benefit.
"Okay, Sport," he said giving her shoulder a squeeze. "See ya tonight. Maybe sooner."
She watched him walk away and join Devon, Baines, and Magus in the DuneRail.

"Alonzo's Terrian could be anywhere. It's like looking for a needle in a haystack," Danziger grumbled as he kept his eyes open for any sign of a Terrian. They hadn't see a Terrian in days. As a matter of fact they had seen less and less signs of wildlife for the past day and a half.
"What?" Devon asked, looking over at him smiling and frowning at the same time.
"Needle in a haystack," he repeated. "Why in the world would you want to look for a needle in haystack?" she asked, confused.
"Sounds pretty stupid, if you ask me," Baines muttered. "My point exactly," he said, and halted the DuneRail. "Let's see what's at the top of this ridge," he suggested. "Remember we are out here to make sure the route is clear."
"That outcrop up there looks like the best place," Devon said, pointing to the craggy rock that hung out over the valley.
Danziger put the vehicle back into gear and started up the hill.

Alonzo sat on the back of the TransRover, resting his feet. The scenery that drifted by him was lulling and soon his eyelids felt heavy and he let them slowly close.
*Back!* screeched in his mind. *Evil place! Avoid!* He saw Terrians scattering, trying to hide but having nowhere to go to get away from their pursuers. The were captured and subdued quickly. Keening, screeching, desperate cries assaulted Alonzo's mind.
"Hey, 'Lonz," Walman called to him. Alonzo shook himself and looked down at the other man. He had not realized that the vehicle had stopped.
"You gonna stay up there all day or are you going to come down and have some lunch?"
"Sorry," he said. "Have we heard from Devon, yet?" "Yeah," Walman answered. "They called in about an hour ago. They were heading up to the high ground to get a better look at the country." Walman started to walk away then turned and gave the pilot a curious stare. "Are you all right, man? You don't look so hot."
"I think we're in trouble. The Terrians don't want us here." Alonzo jumped down from the TransRover. "We have to get the others back here, now."

Devon Adair stood at the edge of the outcrop, feeling like she was standing on a cloud. There seemed to be nothing below her feet and the infinite expanse of land stretched out ahead of her. Beside her John Danziger stood, scanning the terrain with the jumpers. Adair just stood there breathing deeply of the fresh air and enjoying the way the wind whipped around her, nearly pulling her off her feet.
"It's perfect." Danziger's voice sent tingles racing up her spine, he had been quiet for so long.
She turned quickly, her hair slapping her face, to look at him. Here they were, alone together. Magus and Baines had walked to the northern edge of this cliff to get a look at the land from that point of view.
"It looks that good, huh?" she said. He lowered the jumpers, turned to look at her, and smiling sweetly said, "Not half as good as you."
"You're a real charmer, John." She smiled, reaching out to take the jumpers from him.
He captured her hand, not letting it go. Her stomach fluttered, as his thumb caressed her wrist, and he pulled her closer. Devon let herself be pulled against him, and settled into his embrace.
"You know, Magus and Baines are going to be back any minute now," she told him.
"So," he returned, grinning down on her, leaning down to brush his nose against hers.
"So. . . Who cares," she smiled and captured his lips with hers.
The kiss lingered, growing in intensity, despite the fact that the couple knew that was all it could be, for now. It was getting more and more difficult each day to maintain this distance. Remembering their purposes, John drew back from her.
"The, uh, there doesn't seem to be anything to get in the way of the vehicles," he said, attempting to return to all business. "It should be smooth sailing for a few days."
"Good," she said, following his lead. "Devon, John," Magus's voice broke through the air and they turned to see the woman and Baines running, headlong, toward them.
"What?" Devon asked.
"You have to come see this," Baines said. "See what?" Danziger asked.
"There is some sort of structure down there, to the north," Magus said.
"What kind of structure?" Devon asked. "We're not sure," Baines answered. "But it's obviously a prefab unit from the stations."
Devon and John exchanged curious glances then headed off with the other two.

"Do you think it's still occupied?" Devon asked as she looked through the jumpers at a rather large, white, prefab building.
It was a one story, long, L-shaped building, nestled against the rock, in among the trees and underbrush just below where they stood, with a smaller, square shed to its right. She could also just see the Eden Advance Crew stopped for midday rest at the southern edge of the viewer. They were close. Silently, Devon laughed. For a proclaimed uninhabited planet, G889 sure was heavily populated.
"Not sure," Magus said. "There doesn't seem to be any sign of life down there."
"Yeah, it looks pretty deserted to me," Baines said. Devon's gear chirp and she activated it. "Devon," Alonzo's voice was full of urgency. "You guys have to get back here, now."
"Is everything all right?" Danziger asked, as he activated his gear.
"Sort of," Alonzo said, being evasive. "What's going on, Alonzo?" Devon asked, concerned. "I just had a visit from the Terrians. I think they were trying to warn us away from this place."
"Warn us? Why?" Devon turned to John, anxious. "They think it's evil," Alonzo said. "Evil?" Danziger said.
"They wouldn't tell me anything else. They just said to avoid this place."
"We can't avoid this place. Alonzo, we found some kind of human settlement here. It's very near where you are now. Camp where you are and we'll met up with you later. Adair out."
"Devo..." she had cut him off.

Alonzo ripped the gear off his head and growled. Devon always had to do things her way. She never listened. When the Terrians said to stay away, he had learned, you stay away. Those Terrians near the winter camp had warned them off their land. He had told Devon they were dangerous to Uly, but did she listen. No. Adair never listened.
"All right," Bess said. "You heard the woman. Let's set up camp."
The End of part 4

The Horror of Loneliness, Section 1/2 (5/7)
by Paula Sanders
copyright 1995

True Danziger sat be herself in the shade while the others were milling about. There had been quite a lot of grumbling about having to stop, about wasted time, and about Devon's sanity. True paid little attention to this. Her body might have been still but her mind was not.
Again, her mind was filled with thoughts of her mother. She could not shut them out. Alone, sitting under a tree, Eleanor Moore raced through the little girl's mind. Her dad had showed her Elle through that VR program but there had been something missing, from that vision. That woman could have been anyone. She was just a body, not her mother. Her first reaction to seeing her mother lying there was that she was beautiful. But now it suddenly was not enough.
True wanted to know everything she could find out about Elle. She wanted to know what her favorite color was? What she liked to eat? Would she have wanted a cat? Was she funny? Did she have brown eyes just like her daughter's? What color her hair was? What did her voice sounded like?
Her dad had told her a little bit of how her mother died. He said Eleanor Moore's space suit had malfunctioned and that her air supply had been cut off. That she was brain dead. This meant very little to True and sent horrifying images rushing through her head in the dead of night. That day when her father had introduced her to her mother in VR had been the last time they had talked about her. They had slipped into the same old ways of pretending that she had never existed. It seemed to be easier for both of them that way.
Still, there were times when she could not forget. True fingered the data chip, which usually hung from her dad's dogtags. She had found it when she had been unpacking their stuff. It had fallen out of the front pocket of her dad's pack. She was trying to get up the courage to look at it, and wondering if she even had the right to. It was her dad's and he had not given her permission to look at it. He did not even know it was missing.
"True."
The little girl's head shot up and whipped around looking for the speaker. Her eyes landed on Bess Martin as the woman approached hands clasped behind her back. True knew that stance. Bess only did that when she was trying to look none threatening. Apprehension rose in True.
"Hi, Bess," True greeted.
"I saw you sitting over here, all by yourself and I wondered if you might like some company."
"I'm fine," True said. Then remembering she had to be polite added, "But if you'd like. I wouldn't mind."
True kind of liked Bess. They had gotten off to a rough start. More than a rough start, more like a disaster. After Morgan had provoked and been attacked by True's Koba and fallen into a coma, True had thought there would be no chance of making amends. But Bess had a kind and generous nature. True was grateful that Bess didn't know how to hold a grudge.
"Good," Bess said, and sank to the ground folding her legs under her. "What have you got there?" she asked, gesturing to True's tightly balled up fist.
The little girl's heart skipped in panic. "Nothing," she answered hastily.
Bess gave her one of those sideways looks, and half smiles which said she didn't believe True. She knew when she was caught. True let her hand open to reveal the data chip resting in the sweaty palm of her hand.
"I found it in with dad's stuff. He usually keeps it on his dogtags. I figured it must be pretty important, but it doesn't look like his medical chip. I know it would be wrong to look. It would be wrong, right?" True gazed nervously over at Bess, seeing the woman understanding gaze reassured her a little.
"It would be wrong," Bess told True. "Why don't you ask your dad what's on it?"
"He'd never tell me," True said. "You know how he is." "Yeah, I do." Bess's arm slipped around True's shoulder and she let herself be pulled against the woman.
True was suddenly struck with the feeling of maternal love and comfort. Bess always had that way of making True feel that motherly love she was missing in her life. True never went seeking that out, because she wanted to maintain her maturity. She had never needed a mother and did not see the point in go after one. But she could not help seeking out what Bess offered, today. She felt so lonely.
Abruptly, True pulled away from Bess. "I have to go see Julia," True remembered, out loud. "She promised to trade me the articles she gave me the other day for new ones when I finished them."
True pocketed the data chip, and headed towards Julia's medtent.

Alonzo Solace rested in the cool shade of a tree, there was no point in doing anything else. His mind drifted in and out of awareness, as he dozed.
Suddenly, he was snatched up by the dream plane. The molded clay of the cave walls surrounded him and he saw, before him, a Terrian crouched in the corner. Alonzo stepped closer to it and the Terrian jumped to its feet. The pilot was stopped in his tracks at the defensive posture of the creature. It hissed at him and lunged. Its voice was angry, full of hatred and fear.
"I'm not going to hurt you," Alonzo said, but the Terrian did not hear his words.
It lashed out at Alonzo, catching his chest with its long, sharp fingernails. Alonzo felt the sickening jolt as he was thrown out of the dream plane to find himself still laying in the shade, camp bustling around him. He lay back trying to catch his breath, running his hands through his hair. He wished they would hurry up and get the hell out of this area. He did not know how much more of this he could take.

True Danziger hesitated outside the medtent, then took a deep breath and marched right in. Dr. Julia Heller sat at her table going over some files. She was so engrossed that True was able to walk up to her before she even noticed the girl was there. Julia jumped a little, surprised, then smiled.
"Hello, True," she greeted. "What can I do for you?" "Um, I finished that article on the circulator system you gave me," True said.
"Let me guess, you want more," Julia surmised. "Yeah," True said. "Whatever you have. It was really interesting."
True ran her hand over Julia's work table, as she waited for the woman to come up with something else for the little girl to read, her fingers picking at the edge. She wanted to know more about her mother's death. Her dad would never tell her but Julia would know, and maybe if True was vague enough she could hide the real reason she was asking so that Julia would not catch on and tell Dad.
"True, is there something you want to talk to me about?" Julia asked, gazing at True curiously.
True tried to look nonchalant, but knew she was failing miserably.
"I was just wondering," True began nervously, still worrying the edge of the table. "About the dangers of going on space walks. I mean because my dad used to go out space all the time. Not so much after he had me to take care of, though. I was just wondering. What happens if something goes wrong with the suit? I don't really know what happens. Dad never told me. I think he didn't want me to worry."
"Whoa, True," Julia said, smiling. "Could I get a word in?" True nodded sheepishly, she never babbled and wondered what was making her do that today.
"Is there anything specifically you want to know?" "Um. . . What happens when a person can't breath? When they aren't getting any air in the space suit."
Julia seemed to contemplate the question. "Well, let's see. . . Why don't I give you this text." she handed True a chip. "And if you have any questions after that, then you can come talk to me."
"Thank you," True said and left with the data chip. She held on to it not wanting to get it mixed up with her dad's.
As soon as she left the tent she went to the TransRover, dug out her dad's pack and replaced his data chip in it. She knew she had no right to pry into his personal stuff. And she did not want him to find out that she had found it.

Morgan and Bess were heading toward their tent when they saw True emerge from the medtent. The little girl heaved a sigh of relief, which was so strong Bess thought she could feel the breath all the way to where she was standing. She saw True head to the TransRover rummage through the side shelf and dig out her dad's pack. She stuffed something inside then turned and ran away.
"Hey, True," Uly called, distracting the girl away from her worries. "Come look at this."
Bess's gaze shifted to the doctor's tent. Julia had just turned her worried gaze back to her monitor.
"Bess, what are you up to?" Morgan asked, she did not need to see his face to know his reproachful look. Bess had memorized it.
"Nothing, Morgan," she answered, smiling at him innocently. "I know that look in your eyes, Bess. You're going to meddle, aren't you?" he accused. She did turn to meet his troubled gaze. "Just stay out of it, Bess," he told her. "Whatever it is, is none of your business."
"It is my business, Morgan. Something is wrong with True and I can't ignore it."
"I can see that. I'd have to be blind not to see that something's bothering True. But that doesn't mean we have to get involved. Remember what happened the last time you stuck your nose into Danziger's business?"
"Yeah," Bess said, proudly. "I got him to open up to True about her mother."
Morgan sighed and said, "That had nothing to do with you. It had to do with Dell Curry and her incessant whining about her son."
Bess glared at her husband. "How could I have married such an insensitive man?" Bess asked, disbelieving.
"I am not insensitive," Morgan defended himself. "I just don't see why you have to always stick your nose into other people's business, where it doesn't belong."
Bess softened under his hurt tone. She knew it was not just her meddling in anybody's business that he was worried about, but the fact that it was John Danziger's business she was prying into. Bess knew the history her husband had with Danziger. Morgan had confessed to taking the pod, reversed the damage he had done by using the Geolock, and been trying so hard to do the right thing and not step on John Danziger's toes anymore than he already had. Despite all this the other man still made Morgan jumpy and wary. Morgan would probably rather she stayed miles away from Danziger. But, Bess could not do that. When it came to the children she could not turn her back.
"I am just going to see what it was she talked to Julia about," Bess assured him. "Will it make you feel any better if I promise not to go anywhere near John Danziger?"
"Yes, it will," Morgan answered.
"Okay, I promise." Bess walked away from her husband and to Julia tent, looking for the loophole in her promise to Morgan.
The doctor was lost in filling out her regular reports on the health of the Eden Advance Crew when Bess entered.
"Julia, can I bother you for a moment?" Bess asked. Julia sighed, turned off her gear and swiveled in her seat to face Mrs. Martin.
"It seems to be nothing but distractions today," Julia said, with a good natured smile.
"I'm sorry. If you're too busy. . ." "It's all right. What can I do for you, Bess?" "I just saw True leave. Did she talk to you about anything unusual?"
"As a matter of fact, yes, she did," Julia answered. "What about?"
"She was asking me about what happens to people when they are starved for oxygen out in space. I thought it was kind of odd but she said she was just worried about her dad."
Bess's heart constricted painfully. "That wasn't why she was asking, was it?" Julia questioned, her frown deepening.
"No," Bess said, shaking her head. "That's how her mother died. It was a terrible accident while she and John were out space doing repair work."
Bess saw Julia's eyes sadden. "I didn't realize. When did this happen? How old was True?"
"Eleanor Moore was three months pregnant when the accident happened."
Julia's eyes grew wide with shock. "You mean True never knew her mother?"
Bess shook her head and Julia sighed heavily, her shoulders sinking.
"Remember that mess with Dell Curry. Those dreams really disturbed True and reminded her that she had never had a mother. Devon, Yale, and I snooped around in the records and found out that Eleanor Moore was declared neural dead and that John inherited True along with neural support payments. I think that John talked with True after that, but I can't be sure. And since these recent dreams True has been acting very strangely. Much quieter than usual."
"I just sent her off with some text on the subject of oxygen deprivation." Julia looked like she was about to bolt from the tent, probably to retrieve the disk from the child before she read it. "If I'd known I never would have been that cold to her." The doctor sank back into her seat, deflated.
"It's all right," Bess assured placing a hand on the woman's shoulder. "That's the way True wanted it. She doesn't want any of us to know why she's asking these questions. I don't think she wants her father to know." Bess sighed heavily.
"Poor True," Julia said.
"I would intervene and talk to John but I promised Morgan I wouldn't go anywhere near Danziger," Bess told Julia. "Do you think you could talk to him?"
"I'm not sure that would do any good," Julia said. "He doesn't like people interfering in his business." Julia stared off after True, contemplative. "I could try talking to Devon. He might listen to her before he would listen to any of the rest of us."
Bess smiled. "He just might."
"I'll talk to her when they get back. If I can," Julia assured Bess.
"Good, I hate to see True suffering." Julia nodded and Bess let the doctor get back to her work.

Alonzo was sitting with Magus and Walman, in the middle of camp. The other two were chatting about nothing in particular, so Alonzo's mind began to drift. Suddenly, he was forcibly grabbed by the Terrians. He felt like someone was playing tug-of-war with his mind. First, he was grabbed by one Terrian, then a tribe of Terrians. Again they tried to tell him they had to leave this area, that it was evil. He found himself standing in the corner of a white, sterile, empty room. He ventured out into the room finding medical equipment, specimen bottles and vials, and microscopes. There was nothing visually disturbing about this rather ordinary room. What was disturbing was all around him, permeating the place, was the desperate keening of innumerable Terrian voices.
*Evil! Death!* A single Terrian cut through the others, the sense of the word driving into Alonzo.
"They're back!" he heard Baines call, dragging Alonzo from the dream plane.
The pilot jumped to his feet. They had to leave the place. Now. Devon had refused to listen to him before, but face to face she did not have the option of cutting the transmission off. He would make her listen to him.
Alonzo stalked to Devon, a viscous scowl on his face. The woman seemed unaware of his mood, as she climbed out of the DuneRail. He stepped up to her and grabbed her by the shoulders. A short cry escaped Devon's throat.
"Hey!" Danziger shouted.
"Why don't you listen to me?" Alonzo demanded giving her a shake.
"Let go of me," Devon demanded, frowning. Danziger grabbed Alonzo and pulled him away from Devon. "What's your problem, 'Lonz?" he growled. "I told you this was a dangerous place. When the Terrians say to stay away from somewhere you stay away. Why wouldn't you listen to me?"
Julia came jogging up beside Alonzo, having heard the shouts.
"Alonzo, what's wrong?"
"She's what's wrong?" Alonzo accused, jabbing a finger at Devon, who looked everywhere but at Alonzo, guilty. "She never listens to anyone. And we usually end up paying for it."
"Hey," Danziger bellowed again. "That's enough." "Alonzo," Devon tried. "We have been in this area for two days and we have yet to see anything dangerous. We haven't seen signs of any ZED or penal colonists, or even Grendlers."
"That's my point," Alonzo said. "There is nothing here. No one will go near it. Except you! We are all going to die because of you."
"Alonzo, you don't know what you're talking about," Julia said. "You're just on edge because of the dreams. Let me give you a sedative so you can. . ."
"No," he objected, darting away from Julia when she tried to take his arm. "I won't get trapped in there with that thing."
"What thing?" Julia asked, alarmed. "Alonzo, you have to tell us what is going on."
"That Terrian, he's trying to drive me crazy. We have to get away from this place." He pleaded with Devon for understanding.
"We can't," Devon told him. "We have to see what that settlement is. We can't just walk away from it. There could be vital information stored there."
"That place holds nothing but death. That's all you'll find there," Alonzo replied. "If we stay here we'll die, too. Just like everyone there."
"Alonzo," Julia said, concern in her voice. "What are you talking about?"
"I won't go near it. You can't make me go anywhere near it." Alonzo turned and bolted to one of the tents, not really caring if it was his or not and it did not really matter. He needed to get away from the others, fast.
The End of part 5

The Horror of Loneliness, Section 1/2 (6/7)
by Paula Sanders
copyright 1995

Carefully, Julia entered the tent Alonzo had disappeared into, to find him sitting on the edge of a cot. She was unsure if she wanted to go near Alonzo when he was like this. He had frightened her in his frantic state, but she needed to make sure he was all right and try to make him see the other's point of view.
"Alonzo?" she called. "Do you want to tell me why you just attack Devon?"
"I don't know what's happening, Julia," he told her. "The Terrians are pulling at me from two directions. Their getting into my head and I can't do anything to stop them."
Julia relaxed a bit and moved to his side, sitting next to him, placing her hand on his arm. She had heard this before but it had been a long while since he had been really upset by the dream plane. These past few days had been difficult. He hadn't been sleeping well. And now for some unexplained reason he was lashing out at them. Julia desperately wanted answers and to find some way to help him through this
"Why won't Devon listen to me?" Alonzo asked, he was gripping the cot's sidebar for all he was worth. "The Terrains are telling me that we aren't safe here. And nobody feels right about this place, either. But Devon always has to do things her way. She never listens to anyone."
"That's just the way she is, Alonzo. You've been really patient with her in the past. In fact, you've been the most patient one, out of all of us." She gave him a guilty smile, but he didn't return it. She sighed. "Try to understand, we want to find out what these dreams are about. And maybe that settlement is the answer."
"Why can't we leave it alone?" His dark eyes were pleading with her to understand. "There is nothing there. Why do we always have to investigate everything? There are some things which should be left well enough alone."
"Alonzo, what is trying to contact you? What do your dreams tell you?"
"Something terrible happened here, at that place Devon wants us to go. I don't know what but I think we should stay far away from it."
"I don't think we have much choice," Julia told him. "Look at it this way, we've survived up until now. We're strong and we're smart. We'll survive whatever it is you fear at that place. And we need you to go with us. You don't expect us to leave you here while we go into the jaws of death." She smirked and his lips curled at the corners as he fought against a smile. "Whatever it is, it can't be any worse than what we have already experienced. Besides, aren't you even in the least bit curious?"
"All right," Alonzo said. "I'll go, but under protest." "Glad to hear it," Julia responded, then rose. "I'm gonna go see how Devon is, and try to explain this to her. Do you want to come?"
"Just give me a few minutes," Alonzo requested. "Tell her I'm sorry."
Julia, smiled and nodded, turned and left the tent.

"Are you okay?" Danziger asked Devon, a hand on her shoulder.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Devon replied, rubbing the sore spot on her arm where Alonzo had grabbed her. "Just a little shaken."
Her gaze was fixed on the tent Alonzo had run off into. Alonzo's attack had taken her completely by surprise. He was usually so even tempered. It took a lot of provoking to get Alonzo to lash out like that. So, what had happened to make him so angry with her. Julia emerged and headed for them. Devon stalked towards her, bristling, Danziger in her wake.
"Will you tell me what just happened, Julia?" Devon snapped. "I don't really know," Julia admitted. "He's very sorry, Devon. Alonzo is very on edge. It appears that the Terrians are playing tug of war with his mind."
"Tug of war?" Devon asked her brow furrowed, shaking her head. "How can they do that?"
Julia just shook her head. Devon sighed. "Is there anything we can do for him?" Danziger asked. "Leave this place," Julia replied. "I'm sorry Julia, but that's not an option," Devon told her. "I'm not going to leave something uninvestigated. You know that could be potentially dangerous for us."
"I know, Devon." Her anguish was evident in her voice. "I just wish there were some way to block these dreams."
Devon nodded. "Uly's seem to be getting worse, as well. Do you think it might be possible for them to control what happens in there, if they dreamed together?"
"Maybe," Julia answered. "But it may take a few days before they can accomplish anything."
"Well, we have the time. We're certainly not going to leave that settlement without checking it out first."
Devon turned to go but was stopped by Julia saying, "Devon, I need to talk to you."
"About what?"
"It's, um, private," Julia stuttered, glancing nervously at John.
"Hey," he said, holding up his hands when two sets of eyes turned on him. "I know when to get out of the way. You ladies don't have to throw me out. I can do that myself."
He gave Devon a quick kiss then left. Devon watched him go, then turned to Julia.
"Okay," Devon said. "What did you want to talk to me about?" "I'm worried about True," Julia stated. "About True? Well, why not talk to John? She's his daughter."
"Because I know how he would react to the subject and I thought you might have more success talking to him about it than I would. I don't think he would listen to me."
"What subject?" Devon asked, shifting nervously. She knew that True was getting to that age, and was dreading having to deal with it.
"True's mother," Julia stated in her matter-of-fact way. Devon heaved a sigh of relief, but that relief quickly passed when her friend's words finally hit her. Eleanor Moore.
"What about her mother?" Devon queried, trying to sound nonchalant.
"True is still very confused about who her mother was," Julia told Devon. "She was just in the medtent, asking me all these questions which could only have been about her mother. She wanted to know what it's like when a person dies from lack of oxygen. And, Bess said she found True sitting alone holding on to a data chip of John's. She didn't know what was on it but we think maybe it had something to do with her mother. I'm not sure how much she knows about Eleanor Moore. But, I do know that True's hurting a great deal."
"She doesn't know," Devon said quietly, her eyes found John, and she stared a mixture of sadness and anger filled her heart.
"I don't think she even knows what her mother looked like," Julia stated sadly.
Devon's sad expression hardened into anger; anger at John for keeping something so important from True. But she had seen them going off, away from camp, that day. She remembered True's small anxious steps as she tried to keep up with her father. And even though she could not see his face she knew the expression. The sadness hovered around his body. She had thought they were going to have a talk about Elle in more than just abstract terms. But had they?
Devon took a few steps to go after John when Julia grabbed her arm.
"Devon," Julia said, snapping the other woman around. "Be careful how you approach this. You know John is not very open and doesn't respond well to being confronted. The only person he would open up to besides True, is you. That's why I came to you. If anyone can help them heal it will be you. But don't go blustering into this."
"I know how to handle this, Julia," Devon snapped, and march off.

Danziger was crouched in front of the small solar collector, tightening the bolts. He smiled as he saw Devon approaching. She stepped up behind the collector and leaned carefully against it. She did not return his smile and his faded appropriately.
"I need to talk to you, John," she said. "Sure, what's up?" He put down the wrench, turning his full attention to her.
"In private," she told him, pushing off the collector and walking away.
John rose and followed her, with trepidation. Devon did not often get angry with him, at least not as much as she used it. In fact, he kind of missed sparing with her.
Devon led him to her tent. She seemed surprised to see Uly there, reading. He looked up and smiled at them as the couple enter. Devon forced a smile.
"Mom, did you know that there were these mountains on Earth that spewed out this hot liquid, called lava."
"Uly, could you give us a minute alone?" she requested. The boy looked between them, a frown crossing his face, annoyance radiating from him. John tried to give the little boy a friendly smile.
"Go on, Uly," Devon prompted. "Go see if Yale needs help. He was checking he food supply last I saw. He could probably use some help."
"All right," Uly grumbled, laid down the portable viewer he'd been reading from and left the tent.
Once Uly was gone, Devon turned on John and his anxiety grew by leaps and bounds.
"Does this have anything to do with what Julia wanted to talk to you about?" he asked before she could speak.
"She's worried about True," Devon said. "Why? There's nothing wrong with True," he lied. He knew he was not being truthful. He could not ignore how distant True had been for the last few days. True was rarely needy. She took care of herself. But she was never so cold to him as she had been lately.
"You are unbelievable," Devon said, her eyes narrowing. "Do you really think it does any good to lie to me?"
"I guess not," he returned. "Look Devon, whatever it is that's bothering True, we'll deal with it, on our own."
"Just like you always have," she sighed. "You don't have to do it alone, John. I want to help."
"We will deal with it on our own," he repeated forcefully. "No, you won't because you haven't," Devon threw at him. "You keep hoping that if you don't have to face the memories the pain will go away. But it won't. It still hurts, doesn't it. I can see it in your eyes, John. And it is my business. I love you and True but I keep finding myself right back where we started. You want me to butt out and True thinks I'm an annoying busy body who has no right to be at all concerned with her. I'm not playing this game anymore. And I am not going to stand by and watch as this thing tears both of you up."
"What is this about, Devon?" he demanded, confused. "Do you know what's bothering True?"
Devon's stance changed immediately. She turned away from him, one hand tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear, the other planting itself on her hip. He watched as she began what he had come to refer to as her "nervous dance". She shifted uneasily from foot to foot, looking everywhere but at him, gathering her strength and courage. Then abruptly she turned to him, finding his gaze, quickly.
"Julia said True was in the medtent asking her questions that could only have been about her mother. She thinks True doesn't even know what her mother looked like."
"What do you know about True's mother?" John asked defensively. Elle was his business. Since when had it become public knowledge?
"I know how she died and I know she was pregnant with True at the time," Devon stated simply. "It was all there in the station records."
John's heart twisted painfully as memories of Elle came flooding back to him; sweet and painful. He fought to clamp down on them before they overwhelmed him.
"And I know you never shared any of it with True," Devon said accusingly. "You kept everything for that girl, didn't you. Not just the fact of the accident, but everything. The good and the bad."
Flustered, Danziger fought for something to say in his own defense but failed.
"How could you do that to True?" she said disbelieving. "She deserved to know at least a little of who her mother had been."
Danziger's stomach took a nose dive into his shoes. Had he really made it that bad for True? He never thought. It had never occurred to him that True would be this upset. His shoulders sank and he lifted his hands to brush through his hair, closing his eyes. When he opened them again, he hoped to meet sympathy in Devon's gaze but was greeted only with hostility. In return, he could only lash out.
"Dammit, Devon. You have no idea what I went through. How can you stand there and tell me how I should be dealing with my daughter? When you weren't there. You didn't have to watch her die. You didn't have to fight to stay alive each day. Taking it one day at a time because it was the only way to stay sane. True needed me and the only way I could be there for her was to try to forget her mother. Elle was all I had ever wanted." Devon sank to her cot at John's words, steepling her fingers at the bridge of her nose. "There hasn't been a day that goes by when I don't wish she was here with us. True should have had her mother and me to raise her. Do you know what those technocrats offered me when they found out Elle was pregnant?" Devon head snapped up and she shook her head. "The Stim program. Can you believe it!?"
"That program can be quite successful," Devon said, without thinking.
"Not for Elle," he said forcefully. "There's no way a damned digitalized program could get anywhere near fire like hers. Not the light in her eyes." He spun away from Devon, feeling the tears sting his eyes.
This all felt wrong. It felt weird to be talking to Devon about his grief over the only woman he had ever wanted to spend the rest of his life with. And at the same time, feel those emotions just as strongly for Devon. But, god, poor True. Innocent True. He had always intended to introduce her to her mother when she was a little older and might be better able to understand and forgive him. But now that they were lost out here, twenty two light years away from where what was left of Elle resided, that option no longer existed.
"I knew that some day True would want to know who her mother had been. So, I kept Elle on support, leaving it up to True to decide, when she was older, if she wanted to opt for the Stim program. Then, at least she would have had some idea of who Elle was. But it's too late for that now."
"That's not the only way True has of getting to know her mother," Devon said. He heard the brush of fabric as she stood. "You can talk to her. Tell her how you remember Elle. Let her go, John and give True some peace of mind."
"Remember her," John whispered.
How was he supposed to do that? He had tried months ago when he had used the VR program the doctors gave him. It was one of the few things he had left of her. Everything else he had either thrown out or given to Elle's younger sister and cousins. He had wanted all of it gone. He did not need to wallow in self-pity. He needed to be strong and to raise his kid. How was he supposed to remember her, now? If he could not bring himself to remember her, before.
"Yes, John," Devon returned. "Share your memories with True. She deserves that much."
He could sense Devon at his back but she did not touch him. "I'm sorry," he said quietly.
"I think True's the one who needs to hear that," Devon returned, placing a hand on his back. He turned around and she slipped her arms around his middle. He held her close.
"Forgive me, John," she said. "I love you two so much. I hate to see you hurting. Don't try to tell me you won't do the same if you were in my shoes."
He could not help but laugh.
"I should go talk to True," he said, pulling away. He pulled the tent flap back but halted before he exited, her last comment repeating in his mind. "What about Uly?" he asked.
"What do you mean?" Devon asked in return. "What does he know about his father?" He let the tent flap drop and faced her.
Devon's face wore that startled look which always appeared when someone confronted her and her jaw muscles tightened.
"He knows a little. It's not exactly something I could keep from him." Devon looked everywhere but at John. "Uly knows who his father was."
"Who was he?" John asked.
She stared at him wide-eyed and gaping, for a moment. "This isn't about me," she snapped.
"So, it's all right for you to rip my heart to shreds but I can't ask you a simple question?"
"A simple question," she threw at him. "I'd hardly call that a simple question."
"Who was he?" John asked again. "You know about True's mother I think it's only fair you answer my question. Who was Uly's father?"
Devon shifted her weight to her other foot. "He worked for my father," Devon answered after a bit. "We were only together for purely social reasons. Something I'm sure you couldn't understand. It was long over before Uly was even born."
"Then, how did Uly come about?" He asked. "His father and I went out for a while. I actually thought he was very charming. And I wanted to make my father happy and do the right thing. So, we stayed together for a few years, before. . .," she glanced up at John nervously. "I saw Richard, Uly's father, for what he really was. He was just using me because of my name. And I was so foolish. Richard wanted to make sure that he would not be denied a connection to the Adairs. He told me he was using suppressors when he wasn't. That's how I got Uly. God, this sounds like I didn't want Uly. I did. I was so happy to have him."
"How did you keep *him* from taking Uly from you?" John asked.
"I'm an, Adair," Devon replied, with a painful smile. "Didn't you know the Adairs always get what they want." She softened and finished, "I didn't give them the father's name to put on the birth certificate. I made it appear that there was no father."
"But he had to have know," John said. "You can't exactly hide a pregnancy."
"Richard knew, but I set it up so he could have no legal claim on Uly."
"Wow," was all John could think to say. "Nice avoidance tactic, John," Devon said, her smile told him her mood had changed. "Don't you think you ought to go talk to True."
"Yeah, I guess I better. No time like the present," he said, with a grimace, turned and ducked out of the tent.
The End of part 6

The Horror of Loneliness, Section 1/2 (7/7)
by Paula Sanders
copyright 1995

No sooner had Danziger exited Adair's tent than he caught sight of True, across camp, shuffling her feet. He hadn't seen her look this dejected for months. He knew logically that Devon was right. True had been having trouble sleeping and strange dreams. It was time for him to stop avoiding this, for True's sake. It was time for him to talk to his daughter about her mother.
"True-girl," he called, starting for her. The little girl's body jerked, at the sound of her father's voice. She turned to look at him as he crossed to her.
"What?" she asked, swallowing nervously. "Can I talk to you?" he asked, diplomatically, trying to hide his growing concern.
"Yeah," she replied.
He anxiously surveyed the bustle of activity around them. Then, gestured for True to follow him away from camp. He picked up a crate as they went, for True to sit on. John watched his daughter's small anxious steps as they walked and he instinctively shortened his to make it easier for her to keep up.
He didn't want to talk about Elle. He never wanted to even think about her again, but he knew that when it came to True's happiness and well-being he would do anything necessary. So, if it would help his daughter he would dredge those old memories up and share them with True. No matter how much it hurt.
"Okay, I think we've come far enough," he told her, setting the crate down and patting it. She took the cue and accepted the offered seat.
"What do you want to talk about?" she asked. "Is there anything you want to talk to me about?" he returned.
She shifted nervously. "No." Her eyes fell from his eyes to her hands. "Why?"
He bit his lower lip. If he had known that keeping those memories from True would have caused this he never would have kept them from her. He crouched down before her, capturing her small hands in his.
"Hey, Sweetheart," he said quietly. "You know you can talk to me about anything. Anything."
She nodded and he could see her throat muscles tense. "Devon says you've been talking to Julia about the dangers of going on space walks."
Again, she nodded. She was caving in on herself and he ducked his head to find her eyes.
"If there is anything you want to know about your mother. You shouldn't be afraid to ask me." His hands moved up to her shoulders and he gently straightened her back.
She nodded and swallowed hard. Taking a deep breath, and with all the bravado he was used to seeing in her, she looked him in the eye.
"What was she like?"
John felt what would be the first of many stabs of pain he would feel that day.
"She was the greatest," John said simple. He saw her smile and shifted to sit next to her. "Move over," he told True and she obeyed, gladly offering him part of the seat. "Ya know, you're a lot like her. She was a opinionated, and never let me get away with anything." He winked at her. "Elle was a fast learner. I've never seen anyone more comfortable with tools than your mother. Next to you that is." He gave her shoulder a nudge and she smiled up at him. "You have her eyes. Beautiful, wide, and so unbelievably dark."
"What color was her hair?" True asked. "Fiery red to match her temper," John answered, with a smile. God, how he had loved Elle's hair. He had brushed and braided it for her nearly every mornings they were together, just like he did for True, now. "She wore it long like yours." He stroked True's hair.
"How did you guys meet?"
"On the job," he answered. "Real romantic, I know, but it's the truth. The first time I saw your mother, she was backing out of an access tube and I almost tripped over her." True giggled. "I didn't know she was there because I was carrying two large boxes full of circuit boards. I couldn't see my feet, or much of anything. Lucky for both of us she saw me, before I walked into her, and hollered at me to stop. Oh boy, did she ever light into me. I thought she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen."
True's head ducked again and her shoulders sagged. John slipped his arm around her.
"Why did she have to die?" True asked in a tiny voice. John took a deep breath, willing the tears down. "I've lost count of how many times I've asked that question. She just did, that's all I come up with."
"Did she know about me?" True asked. "I'm not sure," he replied honestly. "She didn't tell me, if she did."
"She didn't tell you?" True gazed up at him, astonished. He shook his head. "She didn't. True, I'm sure she wanted you very much. We'd talked about kids." Unsure of what else to say and uneasy, John quickly changed the subject. "I asked her to marry me, twice."
"Yeah?" True turned her eyes to his again. "Yep, but she refused." Before she could asked 'why' he finished, "Elle thought it was old fashioned. She didn't think we needed to bother with a marriage contract. Since we were already committed to each other."
"But she loved you, right?"
"She was crazy about me," he told True, grinning. "And I was head over heels for her."
True's smile faded suddenly and she stared down at her feet. "What about Devon?" True asked, not looking at him, obviously embarrassed.
"What about Devon?" he parroted.
"I don't know," True said, helplessly. "You love her, too." "True, I still care about your mother. I still miss her everyday. But you understand, that was the past. I can't change things and bring Elle back, no matter how much I might want to. Devon and I love each other, now."
True nodded, her frown not relaxing. "True I know this thing with me and Devon has got you confused. And I don't want you to be afraid or embarrassed to talk to me about anything."
"Okay," True said.
"Good," he returned.
Devon Adair was heading to her tent when she saw John and True returning from the forest. Father and daughter were talking cheerfully, holding hands and smiling. And involuntary sigh of relief escaped Devon's lips. This was the John and True she was used to. Hopefully, now True had been given some peace of mind. And with that a little for John, as well.

Alonzo was sitting by himself, staring up at the two moons hovering in the night sky. His heart pining to be up among those stars, flying, instead of down here, plagued by unexplainable nightmares. This planet was amazing. Most times he felt that he would not trade his life here with his friends and Julia. Then there were times, he longed for the feel of the flight seat and how it curved around him comfortably like an embrace. He longed for the vibration and hum of the engines and the infinite field of stars stretching out all around him. He loved Julia and wanted to be with her, but there were times that the call of the stars was overwhelming
*NO!* he snapped at himself. *This is only a reaction to these dreams.*
"Alonzo?"
He turned around to see Uly standing awkwardly behind him. "What are you doing out here, Buddy?" Alonzo said. "Didn't your mom put you to bed already?"
"She did. But I asked her if I could come talk to you," Uly explained.
"What about?" Alonzo asked.
"The dreams," Uly explained and moved to stand in front of Alonzo. "You know, the ones with that weird Terrian?"
"Yeah." Alonzo leaned forward, suddenly curious. "Well, he doesn't have lightening." "He doesn't?" Alonzo asked.
Uly shook his head. "No. I asked him about it and he didn't seem to know what it was."
*Didn't know what it was?* The words repeated in his mind. How could a Terrian not know what lightening was? That was something as basic to the Terrians as eating was to humans.
"I couldn't really understand him. He seemed real scared." "Do you think he recognized you?" Alozno asked. Devon had spoken to him about using Uly's connection to the Terrians to try and contact this Terrian and make sense of these dream. He thought it was at least worth a try.
Uly shook his head
"How would you like to join me on the dream plane? We could talk to this Terrian, together."
"Sure," Uly answered, perking up.

Alonzo fell into the dream plane with Ulysses Adair almost effortlessly. He was discovering that the more he used the dream plane the easier it got. So far, all there was around them were the brown clay walls of the caves. Uly was looking around, not at all out of sorts. Alonzo's head began reeling, as the dream plane sudden snapped out of focus. Its distortion made his whole body hurt. Beside him, Uly fell to his knees, hugging his stomach. Alonzo soon lost his balance and fell to the ground beside the boy.
The now familiar Terrian sprinted around the corner, defensively, but froze when he saw the little boy on the ground. He tilted his head from side to side, slowly sinking to the ground in front of Uly. He looked up at Alonzo and growled. He looked back at Uly, who was now eyeing him levelly, seeming so mature and brave. The Terrians sprang to his feet and Alonzo and Uly were thrown from the dream plane, to find themselves in the Adair tent.
"What happened?" Devon asked. She and Yale were sitting between the two cots, monitoring them.
"Nothing," Alonzo stated.
"He threw us out," Uly told her.
"He looked like he might have recognized Uly, though," Alonzo added. "We might have a chance at this."
"Well, I think that's enough for today," Devon said. She gazed down at Uly. "I want you to get some sleep. We've got a busy day tomorrow." Then she turned to Alonzo and said,"And, you try to get some rest. You could use it."
"I can hope but I don't think I'll be that lucky." Devon smiled at him sympathetically, and Alonzo remembered, suddenly, that he had not taken the opportunity to apologize for earlier.
"Devon, I'm sorry about before."
"It's okay, no harm done," Devon replied, warmly. With that said Alonzo rose and left the tent. On his way back to his tent he kept his eyes on the ground, thinking about this Terrian, wondering why he could not communicate with it. Why was it so aggressive and so afraid of him. Maybe Devon and Julia were right, that they needed to go to that settlement. Maybe the answers to his questions would be found there. The only way to find out was to go with the others, tomorrow. He would have to brave the sick feeling, the fear and go there with the others.
*It is just a building,* he reminded himself, like a mantra as he entered the tent he shared with Julia and prepared for bed.
**Dreams. Such a natural, necessary part of human life. We need to dream to stay sane. Still our dreams and nightmares often frighten us. We wake in the dead of night shaken. But at least we know they aren't real, they won't come true. Terrian dreams are different. They are real. When I wake in the night, in a cold sweat, heart racing, I fear what is out there, what is waiting for us. These Terrian dreams can't be shaken off or laughed at in the light of day.**
Alonzo Solace

The End of Section 1
To be continued, soon. . . .

Here it is! Finally! :) The conclusion to "The Horror of Loneliness." Will the dreams cease? What will our intrepid band of nomads find in that mysterious building? Will everyone forget True's birthday? Will Dev and Danz finally just get it over with?!? Okay! Kill the corny music. Well, you'll just have to read on to find out. %P Sorry it took so long, but my life got out of hand, big time and I had to sort it out. But here it is for you to ENJOY!
I'd like to say a humongous thank you to both Rosa Moran and Joan Powers for being such great friends and putting up with me this past month. It hasn't been easy. THANK YOU both so much. I can't wait to finally meet you both (well, all of you out there lucky enough to be going) at New PacifiCon!
Standard Disclaimer: This is a work of amateur fiction not meant to infringe on any copyrights held by anyone involved in the production of the series _Earth 2_.

The Horror of Loneliness, Section 2/2 (1/3)
by Paula Sanders
copyright 1995

**The Terrians say they fear us. That we have left our mark on their planet already. We never saw it, until our eyes were opened to the horrors that one species can inflict on another. I remember hearing once that Paradise doesn't come without a price. It seems the Terrians are paying the price for our Paradise.**
An eerie silence surround the two ordinary, white, titanium structures, as the Eden Crew approached, bringing all three vehicles to a halt in front of the larger one. The warm, late afternoon sun threw long shadows over everything. Whatever this place was, it had not been abandoned for long. All was still intact, there were no visible signs of wear, and the underbrush had not had much of a chance to grow up around it. There were no signs of life. It looked as if the occupants had picked up and left suddenly, without even bothering to lock the doors.
The small group of people scattered, moving around the building, curious. There were a few doors but no one seemed particularly eager to enter, as they continued to surveyed the large building. Magus and Danziger had the scanners out, testing to see if the systems were still operational. Devon stuck close to Danziger, keeping Uly and True near. Alonzo walked as if in a daze, this was the place from his dream, it had to be. He could feel it, could almost hear the awful keening of Terrians.
"What could it be?" He heard Devon ask. "I don't know," Danziger replied. "It's strange that it's just these two buildings, though. There probably weren't very many people living here."
"It seems to be some sort of science lab," Yale said. "What makes you say that?" Devon asked. "That logo." Yale pointed to a round, insignificant looking label stuck on the side of the building. "It's similar to the one found on the Biodome. But I believe this is the logo for the biological sciences, not botany."
"So, whoever they were, they were scientists," Devon added. "Could they have been sent here like Mary's parents?" Alonzo asked. "No." He was surprised by Emily Kirkland's firm voice and turned to see that she was examining the label, closely. "I know this group. They were sent here from the stations, by the Council."
"Why?" Devon asked, turning to face Emily. It was obvious she did not want to hear the answer but was compelled to ask the question.
"To find out as much as they could about the inhabitants of this planet." "How?" Julia asked, a slight edge to her voice. "Do you know what they were doing here?"
"I'm not sure you want to hear the answer," she told them. At their impatient stares she continued. "They performed tests on Terrians, physical as well as mental. I'm not sure of the details. But I do know they were given free reign to obtain the information the Council needed using any means they saw fit. There hasn't been anyone here for at least two years. We didn't know what happened to them. They just disappeared. I think we can consider anything we find here fair game." Emily smirked, they were all becoming a bit mercenary.
"Hey, John," Walman called, from the other end of the building. "Come take a look at this."
John looked around at everyone else, as if to excuse himself and went to join Walman.
"Bess, would you keep an eye on True and Uly, for me?" Devon asked. The young woman nodded, motioning the children to her side. Assured that the children would be safe, she hurried after Danziger. Alonzo watched her go, then turned to Julia and whispered near her ear.
"This was what the Terrians were trying to warn us away from," Alonzo said, unable to keep silent about it.
"They showed you this building?" Julia asked. "Not exactly. I was inside it," Alonzo said. "And I could hear Terrian voices all around me. They were so desperate and hurt."
His gaze was fixed on one of the windows high up in the building's wall, his soul filled with the anguished cries of Terrians.

Devon rounded the corner of the laboratory and caught up to Danziger and Walman, as they were about to enter the small square building. This building was just as nondescript as the main structure, but it had only two small windows high up on the walls, one large door like on their cargo pods and one smaller regular size door. Walman had stopped just outside the smaller door, and was chatting with Danziger about something as Devon approached.
"What did you find?" she asked.
"The best news we've seen in a long time," Walman said obliquely, and ushered her in.
Devon shook her head, grinning, as she entered. "Wow, would you look at that," Danziger said, in a low voice. She looked up from stepping over the opening, to see a dark blue vehicle, parked in the middle of the room. It was a good deal smaller than the TransRover but bigger than the DuneRail, with a square cab that could fit two or three if crowded, and a medium sized flatbed attached to the back. Danziger was surveying the vehicle from all angles.
"Is it operational?" Danziger asked. "It looks to be in pretty good shape." "Yeah, it checks out okay," Walman answered. "But that's not the best part."
Walman walked over to a large, free-standing cabinet on the right side of the room and threw the doors open. Seeing the contents and seeming to recognize them, a smile of relief spread over Danziger's face as he crossed the room to get a better look.
"Jackpot," John exclaimed, gazing at the equipment. He turned to Devon who was shaking her head, as she slowly walked to join them. "Crystal fuses, there are a few solar panels in here, circuits, chips, everything we need to keep the vehicles running. This is a gold mine. And just when we needed it. They are just holdin' together out of force of habit now. I was worried we were gonna have to abandoned the cargo and walk the rest of the way to New Pacifica."
"And having an extra vehicle couldn't hurt," Walman added. "We could use the storage space."
"The TransRover is getting rather weighed down," Devon agreed, smiling. She nodded her acknowledgement of good news and turned to leave, to see what else was being discovered.

Alonzo stood outside the main building, staring at it. He could not make his feet move to follow the others in. Part of him wanted to see it for himself but a large part of him was lost in the dream, the pain and suffering that had taken place here. There was nothing, he thought, that could make him move to enter this building.
"Alonzo, you comin'?" Magus called, from the doorway. "Nah, I think I'll go find out what Walman and Danziger are up to," he replied.
"Suit yourself," Magus said and disappeared inside. Alonzo turned from the building, but as he wandered around the side he felt a strong pull, something was making his legs carry him to the door of the building, morbid curiosity maybe. Whatever it was he could not fight it. Devon came marching up and fell in beside him.
"Walman found a vehicle and a cash pot of spare parts," Devon told him without preamble, oblivious to his troubled state.
"Great," Alonzo replied, flatly. "That's good news." Devon picked up her pace, passing him. "Now if only we can have such luck in here," she threw over her shoulder.
Alonzo stopped fighting and hurried after Devon, entering the building with her. Once inside the sensation of the walls creeping up to trap him nearly suffocated him. This was something he rarely felt. Fear of enclosed spaces was one fear which never plague sleep-jumpers. You'd never get a clausterphobic person into a cryo tube.
A short narrow hallway opened out into the large, once sterile room he had seen in his dream. Momentarily his head spun as he tried to level himself out. The line between reality and the dreams still confused him sometimes. He often got caught up in the dreams and had difficulty coming back to reality. But he had never had as much trouble distinguishing as he was having now.
"Alonzo, are you all right?" Devon asked, stopping in the doorway, concern in her bright eyes.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he answered. "Just a touch of deja vu. I've seen this place before." At her questioning gaze he added, "In a dream."
Alonzo looked around, finally taking in the activity in the room. Morgan, Yale, and Emily were checking out the computer consoles against the walls. Julia, Cameron, and Denner were taking stock of the medical equipment that was still neatly spaced out on the long table which took up most of the middle of the room. Bess, Magus, Baines, and the children were heading off down one of the hallways, probably the living quarters to see what they could find there. Devon stepped into the room and Alonzo slowly entered after her.
"So, what have we got here?" Devon asked, approaching Julia. The doctor looked up from a microscope she was examining and glanced at Devon.
"This technology is comparable to ours. There is nothing here I haven't worked with before." Julia moved down the table as she talked. "We don't know for sure yet what they were doing here, but we do know that all this equipment is used for studying anatomy, biochemical composition, physiology and genetics. This, here. . ." She indicated a narrow, grey device sitting between a microscope and a canisters of sample slides. "Monitors brain activity, and there is another device, more sophisticated than the radiometer we had."
"What kind of experiments could they have been doing here?" Devon asked. "We'll have to wait until Yale and the others can access their data files, to find out," Cameron told Devon.
"How is it coming?" Devon called over the table to the trio at the consoles.
"It won't be too long," Emily answered. "They have locked down the main file clusters," Yale explained. "The bulk of their information should be stored there. Once we get through them, it should all be opened to us."
"We still aren't sure if the individual files are locked or not," Emily said. "But you can bet they probably will be."
"How long?" Devon asked.
"I'd say an hour tops. These codes are embarrassingly simple," Morgan answered and the others agreed.
"Good," Devon said. "Keep up the good work, people." She turned and headed down the hallway the other group had taken.

"Do you think there were any kids here?" Uly asked as he entered one of the small, square box living spaces.
Bess followed Uly and True into the room, propping the door open in an attempt to alleviate the feeling of being trapped she had experience since entering the building. The room was sparse and very unwelcoming, Bess felt herself shiver involuntarily, at the unnatural chill in the air, even though, to the naked eye, the room was ordinary. A set of bunks stood against the back wall, light and temperature control panels at the head of each, a table with a console on it to the left of the beds and a trunk and narrow free-standing closet against the opposite wall.
"I don't know, Uly," Bess answered. "There doesn't seem to be any evidence of children."
Uly sighed heavily.
"Let's see what we can find," Bess encouraged. "Maybe they left some clothes behind," Uly said. "We always seem to find clothes at these places."
True sulked into the room, directing a grunting noise Uly's way. Bess laughed. "You're right, Uly. But we can always use new clothes. Ours are starting to get very worn."
"They won't be of much use to *us*," True said to Uly, flinging the door to the closet open, finding clothing hung neatly from metal hangers.
Bess moved to the girl's side and began sifting through the garments. Definitely not made for the rough life, judging by their fine quality. But they would do in a pinch. This person had been small. She pulled one pair of pants out and held them out to True.
"These might fit you," Bess said. "You're growing so fast. If not now then definitely by the time we reach New Pacifica."
"Yeah," True said, not sounding too happy. "I guess so. But don't you think they're a bit fancy." She screwed her face up disapprovingly.
"They look sturdy enough."
Bess's earlier concerns about True rose to the surface again. The little girl was acting very stoic these days, when she should be hyper. Her birthday was today, and everyone still remembered it despite all that was happening. It could be that thoughts of her mother were still bothering her. Bess was not sure if Julia had gotten the chance to speak with Devon or John. Things had been hectic last night, with Alonzo's troubles making Julia preoccupied. Bess looked over to see Uly digging into another trunk he had found under the beds. Seeing that the boy was distracted she decided to talk to the little girl.
"True, did your dad talk with you, yet?" True turned to Bess, eyes wide with surprised. "Yeah, he did. How do you know he was going to?"
Bess blew out a relieved breath and tried but failed to keep the guilty grin off her face.
"I just thought he might," Bess said, innocently. "He may be distracted these days but he's not blind. He can see that his daughter is hurting." Bess slipped her arm around the girl. "Now, why the long face? Especially now. Remember, it's your birthday."
"Yeah, like anyone's gonna remember or have time to do anything now that we found this place."
Bess bent to be on eye level with True, not very hard considering the girl's newly acquired height.
"I'm not supposed to say anything, but I have it on good authority that the group is planning a big blow out for you, tonight."
"Really?" True said, perking up.
"Um-hmm," Bess assured her, nodding. Then, eyes shifting conspiratorially, added, "But don't tell anyone I told you. Try to act like you're real surprised, okay."
"Do you really think they'll go ahead with it?" True asked, still not convinced.
"I can promise you, they will. I just heard Magus and Walman plotting this morning. Now, come on. Perk up. And see what you think of these clothes. Think of them as a birthday present for a secret admirer."
True took the slacks and smiled up at Bess, that genuine sweet smile the woman had not seen in days. Bess returned it, relieved.
"Alonzo, are you okay?" He saw Julia's hand waving in front of his face, but could not bring himself to respond.
Alonzo Solace's eyes were glued on the simple door at the far end of the room. He did not want to cross the room and open that door, knowing what he would find behind it.
"Alonzo, are you with me?" Julia asked. He slowly turned his head to face Julia, but he did not really see her. "That door," he pointed to it. "That's where they kept the Terrians." "What Terrians?" Julia asked, turning to look at the door he indicated then swiveled to gaze at him again.
"The ones they used. The ones they experimented on. I can see them there." Before the pilot could stop Julia, she was already halfway across the room. "Somebody get Devon," she called out as she drew closer to the door. Cameron snapped to and went after Devon. Within seconds, Cameron, Bess, Devon, Magus, Baines and the children were in the main room.
"What is it?" Devon asked, coming to stand next to Julia. "Alonzo thinks this leads to where the Terrian specimens were kept." "Don't call them specimen," Alonzo growled. Both Julia and Devon spun around, shocked by his outburst."They were alive and terrified."
"I'm sorry, you're right," Julia said, deferring. "They must have held them captive here."
"Well, what are you waiting for?" Devon asked. Julia nodded solemnly, but could not hide the excitement of scientist from him as she turned the latch. Alonzo saw her step inside and his fear suddenly sprang up, trying to choke the life out of him.
"Julia, wait!" he called, sprinting across the room, seeing the light come on.
Devon entered the room and he heard her exclamation of, "Oh my god." That stopped him cold, at the end of the table. With slow anxious steps, he entered the room.
Lining two walls of this room were four transparent cages. Inside those cages were nothing but piles of what looked like dirt and fine, ivory bones. Julia was staring around her in stunned, slack jawed, wide-eyed disgust. She turned and ran out. When she came back into the room she had a scanner with her.
"There is still residual tissue and even faint psychic energy here," Julia announced.
Alonzo stared in stunned silence. He knew what those piles were. And he did not want to think about it.
"Energy? Still?" Devon asked.
"This might be remains," Julia cut her own words off. "Of what?" Devon queried, stepping closer to the glass. "What?" She spun around when Julia didn't answer right away. "What? You think these piles of dirt were Terrians?"
"Quite possibly," Julia replied. "This could be what happens to them, when they are kept isolated from the earth. Remember, True said that Gaal told her Terrians rot when they are kept away from the earth. They need to be in constant contact with the earth to survive, to get their nutrients. If you remove them from that, they must decay."
Devon's hand was over her mouth and Alonzo could see her neck muscles tense as she swallowed hard. Bess wandered in followed by True and then Uly, who pushed their way through the adults.
"What was this for, Mom?" Uly asked. Devon looked to Julia, anxious. "We don't know yet, Uly." Baines entered the room, and with the man's arrival Alonzo was beginning to feel crowded. The technician tapped on the surface of the cage with his knuckle. "I've never see anything like this. It's like triple thickness, or even more than that.
It's reenforced somehow."
"It looks like what they used for the exterior windows on the stations," Devon said, inspecting it herself. "But why would they use something that resistant on cages?"
"To keep them from escaping," Alonzo answered. "And the floors are reinforced to prevent them from traveling through the earth."
Devon turned to him wide-eyed. She spun and rushed out of the room, quietly taking the children, under protest, with her.
"Yale, Morgan, Emily." Alonzo detected the edge in her voice. "I want those files open, ASAP."
Their acknowledgements drifted to him. Alonzo could only stand and stare at the cages, bile rising in his throat. Suddenly, he turned and sprinted from the building.
"Alonzo?" he heard Julia call after him but did not stop. He bolted out into the fresh air and ran around the opposite corner of the building. Falling to his knees as his stomach heaved and gave up its contents. He sank back and leaned against the wall, trembling.
After an indeterminate amount of time, a hand squeezed his shoulder. "Alonzo," Julia said. "It's all right. Here, drink this." A thermos appeared in his field of vision and he took it, throwing back a few swigs. Julia's arm slipped around his shoulder and he leaned against her.
"I saw what happened to them, in my dreams," he whispered. "It was like it was happening to me. They suffered so much. How could anyone do such things to any living creature?"
"I don't know," Julia said quietly, hugging him tighter. "Isn't there anything you can do about these dreams?"
"I've been trying," he told her. "But I'm not getting anywhere on my own. Uly and I need to try again. That Terrian seemed to recognize him."
"Do you think you'll have any luck finding out where this Terrian who's broadcasting is?" Julia asked, hopefully.
"We'll try tonight," Alonzo told her. "As much as I hate to go back in there with that Terrian, we don't have a choice."

Morgan Martin leaned back in his chair, away from the video screen which was a blurry blob of white and black. He should have been seeing words but with the state his eyes were in, those words were nothing more than faint smudges. He closed his eyes, rubbing them and groaned.
"This is going to take forever," he said, fatalistically. "Yeah, it will," Emily snapped. "And we're not going to get any closer to forever if you keep stopping to whine."
"Hey," Morgan shot back. "I've been working just as hard as you. But it won't do me any good to work right now. I can't even make the screen focus."
With a sigh, Emily leaned back too, rubbing her temple. "Now, I've lost my place," she grumbled, trying to find the marker she had put down to tell her where she had left off with the codes.
"I'm sorry," Morgan apologized, then he started to laugh. "I lost my place about fifteen minutes ago and I've been trying to find it ever since."
Emily also began to laugh at the absurdity. He was glad to hear it. Ever since they had come near this place Emily had slowly been drawing in upon herself. He had seen her like this before and feared for her when she got this way. He would do anything to keep her from falling farther. Even if it was just to make her laugh
"Why don't we all take a break," Yale suggested. "I'm sure we could all use it."
They had been in the laboratory for three hours already and were making slow progress. There were layers upon layers of files and codes to break to reach the next layer. They were going to be doing this well into tomorrow. There was no point in pushing themselves this hard.
"What about Devon?" Emily asked. "She wants these files open as soon as possible."
"Devon is not unreasonable," Yale told her. "And if she has any problems with us taking a break then let me deal with her." A sly grin spread over his face and he rose to leave the room. "Now, I am going to get some fresh air. Care to join me?"
"That's sounds positively wonderful," Emily said. "Yeah, great," Morgan said, flatly as he pushed himself up off his seat. "Where are you guys headed?" Julia Heller asked as she entered the room. All three looked around guiltily. Yale spoke first. "We're going to get some much needed fresh air."
"Oh. All right," she replied, with a nod. "How're the files coming along?" "Don't ask," Morgan groaned, Emily elbowed him in the side. "Ow." "Not much further than the last time you checked. We have about a third of the files opened," Emily replied. "If you want to, you can study those but I'm not sure how much help they'll be."
"Thanks," Julia said and walked around them, letting them go.

Mazati saw Emily Kirkland, not too far away, standing facing the strong breeze, her now almost shoulder length hair blown back from her face. She was hugging herself tightly, lost in her own thoughts. She looked sad and he wondered why. His brow furrowed as he caught himself staring and he blinked, shifting awkwardly. And the thoughts that were running through his head were not making him feel any less uncomfortable. This woman had been his boss back on the stations, completely out of his league. But things were so much different here on G889. They were all on equal ground. John Danziger and Devon Adair had proved that. Emily was just a woman, his friend, who was troubled. And he thought he could help her.
He put down the gift he was finishing up for True and crossed to Emily's side. Hearing him approach, her head quickly turned, and her startled green eyes met his.
"Are you okay?" he asked, without preamble. "I'm fine, Mazati," she assured him. "Why?" "Well, you don't look fine to me. Is something bothering you?" She swiveled to face him, the wind whipping her dark hair around her neck and face.
"I can't hide anything from you people, can I?" She jibbed. He tried a tight smile and she turned away from him to face the laboratory. "I was just thinking about what those Council scientists did here." "I try not to," he replied. Something about the way she phrase that made him stop. "Do you know what they did? You've been decoding their files, you must have read some of It."
"What I know didn't come from those files in there," she told him. *What's that supposed to mean?* he asked himself. Then he remembered the satellite. They had all tried to put the knowledge of its existence out of their minds, but it kept rearing its ugly head.
"You heard about them up there?" he questioned. "They sent progress report once a month," she answered. "They weren't very detailed and only had routine password seals. Easily broken. But what those offered was enough for me. I don't need to read those reports in there. I already know what they did here. What they put those creatures through."
Mazati gaped at her. "Then tell us what they did," he requested. "What happened here?"
"Do you think that knowing what happened will make things any easier for us?" she asked, surprising him with her hostile tone. "It won't stop the dreams."
She had turned her eyes back to the ridge. Mazati watched her, hurting to see her in such turmoil and knowing there was nothing he could do to help. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, she reacted to it with a tight smile which faded
quickly.
"We should never have come here," she said, with a sigh, echoing words they had all uttered at one time or another since the crash.
He had to admit he often agreed with her, but he also knew there was no turning back, only moving on and the more they learned about this planet and its eco-system the better off everyone and everything would be. He knew that Emily understood this as well, so he did not lecture her, he just slipped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her against him, needing to offer her what little comfort he could.

The sun had nearly finished its daily decent, and the group had just finished unloaded the vehicles of their belongings, and they were all staking claim to their spot. The eight beds in the main building had been claimed by the Adairs, Danzigers, Baines, Walman, Denner and Emily. Alonzo absolutely refused to spend anymore time than he had to in that building, and Julia would not leave him alone. Morgan and Bess were quite content to set up thier tent. And early risers Cameron, Mazati and Yale had decided to set up cots in the lab. Seeing that everyone was settled in and that evening meal was well on it's way, Devon Adair went looking for Dr. Julia Heller. She found the doctor sitting back in her chair, glaring at the monitor in front of her.
"So, what have you discovered?" Devon asked, coming up behind the other woman.
Julia spun around, her eyes wide with surprise. "Oh Devon," she said, letting out a breath. "I didn't hear you come in."
"Sorry," Devon said, with a guilty smile. "Its all right," Julia told her. "I probably needed that jump start." She turned around to face the screen again. "I haven't found much. These people were either the stupidest scientists ever to be given degrees or they were never really trying to do any research, at all."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Devon asked. "These tests they were doing didn't tell them anything they couldn't have guessed for themselves." Devon gave her a reproachful look. "Okay, maybe I'm being too harsh but it seems to me that they were just wasting their lab rats." Her eyes turned guilty. "Don't tell Alonzo I said that."
"He won't hear it from me," Devon promised as she leaned over the table to get a better look at the screen. "What is this nonsense? Even Uly could understand this babble."
"I know. It doesn't make any sense that they would collect Terrians, hold them in reinforced glass cages, and then let them whither away before they could get anything out of them. That's not how a good scientist works. There is no in depth biological or physiological data here. It's almost as if they didn't even bother. I don't know any scientist who would do the job this sloppily. It doesn't make sense."
"Unless, they just wanted to judge the effect that isolation would have on the Terrians," Devon surmised.
"What?" Julia spun around again.
"Think about it," Devon told her. "These dreams Alonzo has been having are of loneliness and isolation. Something the Terrians know nothing about. Maybe these scientists were doing what they were told to do. Remove a group of Terrians from that connection to each other and the dream plane, to see how they would react."
"You might be right," Julia admitted. "I'm ashamed I didn't think of that." "Do you know how long they were here?" Devon asked. "The scientists? My best guess is about a year." Julia began moving around in the files, finding the one she wanted. "Morgan, Yale, and Emily were able to decode some of the files at random so I have scatterings from beginning and middle and a few of the end. The records get kind of bizarre toward the end. They don't make any sense. Here it is. The last entry I have is on day three hundred and seventy-eight. But it was mostly paranoid ramblings. It's quite possible they were having the same dreams we are. The effects could have driven them mad. But I won't know for sure until I've read more."
"Why don't you take a break," Devon suggested. "No, I can't," Julia protested. "I really need to study these files." Devon laid a hand on Julia's shoulder. "What you *need* is a break. And we could use an extra hand setting up for True's birthday party."
"Is that today? Oh my god, I completely forgot." A blush crept up on Julia's cheeks.
"Well, you can make up for that by helping us set up," Devon told her with a smile. "True is down that hall doing inventory and we thought it would be a perfect timing. She won't suspect a thing."
Julia nodded, smiling and followed Devon out of the building.
True Danziger sat on the floor in one of the small sleeping rooms, going through a crate. Bess had set her the task of inventorying the former occupants belonging. True sighed heavily as she started on the second trunk, lifting a blanket off the top.
*Some way to spend my birthday,* she grumbled, silently. Her gear was activated to record the inventory and that would not be something she wanted on record for all time. She still wasn't convince that everyone was going to remember her birthday. They all seemed so busy with trying to figure this place out that it would be easy for them to forget.
"One thermal blanket," she said, out loud, dumping it on the floor, carelessly.
She had been here all afternoon. She and Uly had done the first room then they had decided to split up and do the rest separately. It was easier then trying to cooperate with Mr. Know-It-All Adair.
"One small black box with seven VR programs in it," True recorded and set the box aside.
"True," Danziger called from out in the hall. True reached up and turned off the recording. "I'm in here," True called back. "Second door on the right." "Hey," he said, as the door swung open to reveal her father. "Aren't you hungry?"
"I guess," she said, as he stepped closer to her. "Come on," John held out a hand. "We're all taking a break to eat." "All right," True said, climbing to her feet and taking her father's hand. She let him lead her through the building, which was suspiciously empty. He pushed her ahead of him as they walked through the short hallway and outside. Loud cheering greeted True as she and her father emerged out into camp. True stopped dead, when she stepped down onto the ground, and Danziger walked into her, knocking her forward. The place had been transformed. It looked nothing like the scruffy camp she had seen earlier. In the early evening light; lumalights, hanging from the TransRover, were encased in pieces of parachute fabric, looking like lanterns, a red and white canopy was suspended over a table upon which were stacked cleverly wrapped presents.
"Hurry up, True," Uly called, waving her over. The group let loose with an energetic rendition of Happy Birthday, as John gave his daughter a little nudge to get her moving. True's cheeks flushing hotly, as she approached the table and took the seat Walman held out for her.
"See, I told you we'd remember," Bess whispered, leaning close to her ear. True smiled up at her and then at everyone gathered around the table. "Thanks, guys," she said.
"Well, come on," Baines said, pushing the gifts toward her. "What are you waiting for?"
"Okay," True said, grinning broadly and launching into the stack. She reached for the handmade envelope that was laying across the packages. "That's from me," Uly said proudly and True smiled at him as she opened it to find written on the inside,
"Voucher good for one weeks worth of True Danziger's chore duty performed by Ulysses Adair."
"Thanks, Squirt," True said, smiling at him, he smiled back, for once not protesting the nickname.
Baines and Denner caught True's eye. They were standing against the TransRover, an odd shaped package was sticking out from behind his shoulder, suspiciously. The little girl gave them one of those looks she had learned from her dad and their guilty looks dissolved into wide grins of delight.
"We made this for you," Denner said, as she helped Baines lift the oddly shaped item down from the storage shelf.
"What is it?" True asked.
Just as she did, Uly began to laugh. Baines sat it down and Denner drew back the concealing cloth, to reveal a triangular shaped, red and white thing, with sticks secured to it at precise angles. True slowly drew closer, to see that it was made from the parachute fabric.
"What is it?" True asked, again, resting her hand on its point. "It's a kite," Baines said proudly. "A kite?" True asked.
"Yeah, a stunt kite," Baines told her. "You attach two lines to it," Denner explained. "And you fly it in the sky."
"You fly it," True said, looking at this strange creation with admiring eyes.
"Yeah," Baines confirmed. "You can make it do loops, dive for the ground, and swoop around."
"How did you know about kites?" Devon asked, voicing what everyone else was thinking.
"I know all kinds of things that you'd never expect, Devon," Baines boasted. "Actually it was Denner here."
"I had a friend when I was a kid whose parents were historians, they were especially interested in cultural history. They taught her how to fly kites in VR. She'd invite me sometimes, and I always wondered what it would be like to really fly one."
"Yale had the instructions in his database. It's really very easy." After thanking them and promising them that they would try it out in the morning she moved on to the other gifts.
Mazati gave her a beautiful blue and coral necklace made up of interesting stones he had been collecting along their journey. Yale gave her a VR program of a guided tour of the Natural Science Museum. And Cameron had made a band to hold her hair, from scraps of fabric.
"That's from Emily and me," Morgan told her as she picked up a small paper box. Inside was a VR program chip. She held it up, turning it over. "I know how you and Uly like to play in VR while we're traveling. So, I asked Emily to help me create one especially for you. That way you get to be in charge."
"Thank you," True said. "I can't wait to try it out." Morgan beamed with pride and Bess gave him a one armed hug. "Who's that from?" John asked as his daughter picked up an cylindrical package. He was standing next to Devon, his arm around her, just behind True.
"Me," Bess said. True opened it to find a bottle of liquid. "It's bath oil I made from the herbs Julia and I tested. I know how much you liked the stuff I made for myself, and now you have your very own bottle."
"Thank you," True said, hugging Bess. "True," Julia said, stepping forward. "I couldn't exactly wrap my gift. But I would very much like it if you would be my assistant. You're very good with people. You're definitely eager to learn. And I could use an extra pair of hands out here."
True looked up at her dad, who was smiling at Julia, he looked down at True and nodded. True immediately accepted the offer, practically launching herself at Julia.
"I'd be honored to be your assistant." Julia smiled hugging True back. "Good. It would be a pleasure to have such a smart assistant."
Devon leaned forward reaching for something on the table. The little girl craned her neck. Seeing the nervous look about Devon, True felt embarrassed that she had made her so uncomfortable by not approving of the relationship Devon and Danziger had. She tried a friendly smile and Devon brightened. The brunette woman picked up the viewer which had been lying on the table. True had over looked it, thinking it was not a gift, even though it had a red ribbon tied around it. She held it out.
"Here, True," Devon said. "Don't forget my gift." "Thank you," True said, as she took it. "This viewer has a few of the stories I most liked to read when I was about your age. I thought you might like them, too, so I had Yale find them for me and I saved them here." Devon leaned over her shoulder and pushed a few buttons and a list came up. "There's the Anne of Green Gables series and C.S. Lewis's Narnia Chronicles."
"Thank you," True said, fingering the black box. "I can't wait to read them."
True swivelled around and surprised Devon by hugging her. Looking up at her dad she saw him smile at her, grateful.

Danziger was laying on his bunk, listening to True shift in the bunk above him. As soon as they had settled into the room they had chosen in the main building, she had dived into the stories which Devon had given her. A proud smile played on his lips as he thought of his daughter actually taking every opportunity to read. Back on the stations, and even here, when they had first arrived and he had made her study with Uly, she had not had much opportunity to read or she had fought him on the subject. Learning had come easily, to True, but she had never much cared for it. Now she was hooked, his daughter. Alex would have been proud to see True so changed. She had been part of the reason True had even the slightest interesting in learning, by reading to True and encouraging her to learn from everything she saw.
*Wouldn't Elle by surprised to see us now,* he thought. The thought of True's mother made him remember his gift for True. He swung his feet off the bed and stood up.
"True-girl," he said, as he rummaged through his pack. "I almost forgot to give you my present."
He turned to her with a small computer chip which was the only personal thing he had kept of Elle. Upon seeing it a startled expression appeared on True face and she set up straighter, abandoning her viewer. She hopped down off of the bunk and took the chip from him.
"What's this?" she asked.
"It's something your mother gave me," he answered. "When we first met she wasn't too impressed with me. She turned me down every time I tried to ask her out. But I kept at it and she finally came to her senses." He smiled, slyly. "This has a message from her. She'd gone off to work on another station for a few weeks. She'd agreed to give *us* some thought while she was gone and she sent me this message after only a week." He shifted nervously, running his hand through his hair. "I thought you might want to see it."
True fingered the chip anxiously as John reached above her and retrieved her viewer. He silently took the chip from her and slipped it into the slot on the side. True's large dark eyes gazed up at him, apprehensive. Then, she sank to the bunk and he handed her the viewer, which she laid down on her lap but did not activate. John sat down next to her and waited for her to be ready to watch the message.
With agonizing slowness, True activated the program. Elle's image appeared on the screen, that odd expression of someone who is unsure on the woman's pale, perfect face. She had been off duty, in her quarters, he remembered that because of the blue tank top which hugged her torso and because her long hair hung loosely about her shoulders.
"Um, John," she began tucking a lock of her straight, red hair behind her ear and grimacing. "Hell, I hate these things." Her eyes darted about for a second before settling on the camera. "But I had to tell you something. I've been thinking." She smiled and he thought his heart would stop. "About us. Maybe you're right. I'll bet that doesn't happen very often," she teased. He couldn't help laughing and True giggled, not taking her eyes off of the image before her. "Maybe we should give *us* a shot. You're not a bad guy. Actually you're probably the best guy I've ever met. Almost too good to be true. And I'm having a very hard time resisting you. So, when I get back, in a week and a half, what's say we give it a go. What's the worst that could happen? We'd be stuck with each other for the rest of our lives." She grinned devilishly. "So, start figuring out where you are going to take me when I get back. I expect only the best. From the best guy around." She gave him a wink and a sweet smile. The image was frozen in time for a few seconds, before the screen faded to black.
True reached up and, trying to hide it, brushed tears from her eyes. John slipped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. She sniffled and burrowed into him.
"Thank you," she said.

The Horror of Loneliness, Section 2/2 (2/3)
by Paula Sanders
copyright 1995

Brown clay, the orange glow of the sunstone veins, soft amber light. Alonzo's eyes scanned the empty, silent cave. Something was here. He could sense it faintly.
"I'm here," he called out. "I want to help. And I'm not going to hurt you." "Alonzo?"
The young man spun around to see Uly standing behind him. "We're on the dream plane again, aren't we?" "Looks like it, Uly," Alonzo said. "Do you think he'll come?" The boy gazed around, almost seeming frightened. Alonzo knew the feeling. He didn't want to meet up with that Terrian either. But he knew it had to be done, for everyone's sake.
"I hope he does," Alonzo replied.
Before Alonzo could even blink the Terrian they were waiting for rounded the corner. Its gate was not that of a normal Terrian, he seemed awkward. Alonzo could not remember ever seeing an awkward Terrian, not since that ancient one in his dreams. This thought caused the spark of apprehension flare. The creature growled and hissed at the two Humans, as it approached them. Alonzo took an involuntary step backward and Uly scrambled behind the man.
"We're not going to hurt you," Alonzo told the creature. A low sound rumbled deep in the Terrian's throat. The sudden tight grip Uly took on Alonzo's pant leg made the young man look down. Uly was peeking out at the creature, fear making him quake. Abruptly, the rumble ceased and Alonzo turned to see the Terrian crouched in front of them, staring intently at Ulysses.
*He recognizes him,* Alonzo thought. *Finally, he sees the connection.* A long dirty brown fingered hand reached out for the boy and Alonzo watched amazed as Uly's Terrian side took over. A strong and confident Uly stepped around Alonzo and spoke to the creature. At the sound, it jumped to its feet and Alonzo instinctively grabbed Uly by the shoulder, pulling the boy back against him. The Terrian hissed and backed away.
For the first time, Alonzo wondered why he could not understand this Terrian. But he was not given the chance for further thought because he and Uly were thrown out of the dream plane.
In one swift movement Alonzo Solace was on his feet and running out of his tent. His heart was pounding in his chest as he sped across the common area and to the building, but that was as far as he got. He just barely missed smacking into Uly, and the boy's mother as she came flying out after her son.
"Alonzo," she breathed, catching Uly. "Are you all right?" "Did you see him?" Uly said excitedly. "He knows! He knows me!" "Uly what are you talking about?" Devon demanded. "The Terrian," Alonzo answered. "The one we need to find. We were dreaming with him and he seemed to recognize Uly's bond."
"Do you know where he is, now?" Devon asked hopefully. Alonzo shook his head. "There wasn't time." He shifted uncomfortably, thinking. "I don't think he is going to tell us where he is. He still fears us. The only way we can find him is if that tribe, the one that warned us away from this place, were to tell us."
"Then try to contact them," Devon ordered. "I can't," Alonzo said. "I think they might be too far away. They can contact me but I can't call for them. I'm not strong enough to reach them." Both Devon and Alonzo sighed. "I'll just have to wait for them to call me."
Julia burst out of the laboratory, breathing hard. Her hair was falling out from its confining strip of fabric, her eyes red and bloodshot.
"What's going on? I heard the commotion." Julia smoothed down her hair, eying the trio curiously.
"Are you still up?" Alonzo admonished. She looked like she had spent the entire night at the console reading the scientist's files.
Julia chose to ignore him. "What's going on?" "We had another dream?" Uly said. "I talked to that Terrian." He puffed up his chest proudly.
"You did," Julia said. "What did you say?" "I told him we could help him get better." The look in Julia's eyes when she turned them to Alonzo were pleading him to tell the truth. They had all been suffering from these dreams. The closer they got to this place the stronger they got. Everyone was cranky and on edge, because they were not getting a good night's sleep and hadn't been for days. Alonzo did not want to tell her anything less than the truth.
"If we can find him we can help him," Alonzo said. Her eyes asked the next obvious question. "You're not going to like this. We're helpless again. I have to wait until that tribe I told you about contacts me. They are our best hope of finding him"
Alonzo heard a deep growl, in the back of Julia's throat. He knew how she felt, helpless.
"Let's all try and get some sleep," Devon said. "We can't do anything now." Alonzo grabbed Julia's arm when she tried to go back into the building. The door swung shut behind Devon and Uly. Julia turned startled eyes his way.
"You're coming with me, Doc," he told her, leading her away from the building and to their tent.
He was surprised that she went without protest.

The blackness of space surrounded John Danziger, strangling him in its hard grasp. He gazed around him and slowly the nothing turned into tiny pinpoints of light, as he floated around. Slowly, the steel girders of an Earth space station rose up before him. He nearly slammed into the wall, but he knew he was in a dream and that nothing could really hurt him.
He pulled his legs up to brace them against the wall to push himself off. That was when he heard it.
"John," a faintly startled voice. "John, I'm not getting any fresh air return."
"Elle?" he called and in his ear he heard her voice again. "Something's wrong with the O2 valve, it's jammed and I can't find out where."
"Did you check the refresher tube," he suggested, falling back on the old familiar dialogue. "You know sometimes they can get jammed up with freezing condensation."
"Yeah, I already checked it, nothing," she almost shouted back at him angrily. She drew in a panicked breath, a desperate plea for air that was quickly running out. "And this line isn't retracting."
"Just hold on, baby," he told her. "I'm comin' to get you. Just hold on." But he could not move, just floated around like a piece of metal on ice.
"John." In his ear piece he heard her draw in another failed breath, "I love you," blew out with her last breath and then was silence.
"That wasn't how it happened," his mind screamed out. "I got to her. She didn't die out in space. She didn't die alone!" He insisted, but there was nothing to hear him, just the oppressive blackness and his own voice.
Danziger shot up out of sleep, gasping for precious air. Outside, he heard cheerful shrieks but the grief of the dream still held him and for a moment he did not recognize the m as the laughter of his daughter, his panic causing him to shoot up off his bed, nearly hitting his head on the top bunk.
"No, pull back with the right hand." Mazati's voice stopped him, with his hand on the door handle.
"You're gonna lose it!" cried Denner, followed by another shriek from True and an explosion of clapping.
John relaxed, running his hands through his hair, looking up at the tiny window he had propped open the night before to let the cool breeze in.
*They must be playing with True's new kite,* he told himself, laughing. *It was just a dream. Shake it off, Danziger. Like all the others.*
He trudged out of the building, taking the door at the end of the hall and was greeted by the bright morning sun. Squinting up at the sky he found the colorful kite, soaring and doing loop- de-loops against the clouds. Following the line down he spotted his daughter at the end of it, hunkered down, almost hugging the ground to keep the kite from lifting her away. Abruptly, the air died, the double line kite strings went slack and the bright white and red flyer began to plummet to the earth. Mazati, Denner, Baines, and Devon clustered around the little girl and True started to holler at the kite as it fell, as if that would keep it up in the air. Danziger could not help but laughed at the silly scene they presented. Mazati and Denner both ran out to the kite to straighten it out for its next flight, when True spotted her father.
"Hey, Dad!" she called excitedly. "You gotta come try this." "Can I have breakfast first?" he asked at her enthusiasm. He spotted Uly sitting on a crate impatiently awaiting his turn. "Why don't you give Uly a turn," he suggested. To his surprise True didn't protest but called the boy over.
John caught Devon's eye and smiled, she returned it, ruffled Uly's hair and moved to Danziger's side.
"Good morning," she said, stretching up to steal a quick kiss. "I see True already roped you all into playing with her kite," he said. "It wasn't too hard," Devon admitted. "Actually, it's a lot of fun. You should give it a try."
"Like I said, let me have breakfast first," he replied grumpily. "I wouldn't try to keep you from it," she told him. "Good thing, too."
As he left her to go after his breakfast, he could hear her faint giggle.
Another hot afternoon had crested on G889 and the weary Eden Crew were spared the intensity of that heat, thanks to the tall trees surrounding the tiny settlement. But that was only one small, almost insignificant comfort. There were still the dreams and the lack of sleep. Feeling restless and in need of something to keep him busy, Alonzo Solace traded guard duty with Walman.
He scanned the camp. Cameron and Denner were sitting under a shade tree having and intense discussion, which he suspected was the same one they were having yesterday about hydroponics. He didn't get any of what they were talking about but they sure were strong in their opinions. Danziger, Walman, and Baines were working on the new Hauler, testing it for road worthiness. "No, turn it off!" Kept sounding in the air. Or something to that effect. Using the one wide open plot of land near the camp Magus, Bess, Devon, and True had spent most of the afternoon, taking turns, trying their best to keep the little girl's new kite in the air, but the wind kept laying and the kite kept plummeting to the ground, its nose hitting with a loud thud which drew everyone's attention. Mazati was shouting directions to them, trying to help them keep the kite airborne but only making matters worse by confusing them. Emily, Morgan, Yale and Julia were still inside working on decoding the files.
Alonzo smiled at the comedy of errors that was Eden Camp today and began to pace the perimeter of camp, MagPro at his side. His mood quickly changed as his mind began to drift, posing questions.
*Why me?*
*What does it mean?*
*Why won't they leave me alone?*
*Who do they think they are invading my mind?* *Why do they think I can do anything to help them?* Suddenly he was grabbed forcibly by the tribe and pulled into the dream plane. They circled him, making him feel dizzy, as the walls of molded clay swirled behind them.
"What is going on?" he asked. "Why won't any of you tell me what is going on?"
Their fear for him and the group assaulted him. They stopped and the one directly in front of Alonzo tilted his staff toward the wall to his left. Alonzo turned and saw another Terrian materialize. It looked different, had no sash to indicate its tribe affiliation around its neck and no staff. It reminded him of the Outcasts.
*Find* Resounded in his mind as he slowly became aware of the camp again.

Devon saw Alonzo circling the camp like a predatory animal. He was making her nervous, with his pacing. She turned away and her gaze was caught by the sight of a distraught Julia Heller standing a few feet away watching Alonzo. Julia had just come out of the lab, for something to eat, after spending most of the day reading the files as they were decoded. Devon quickly made her way to the doctor.
"How is he doing?" Devon asked, without preamble and knowing there was no need to clarify who she was asking about.
"Not so good," Julia replied with a sigh. She folded her arms around her chest. "He's exhausted. He needs rest but he can't get it."
"But he is sleeping, right?" Devon queried hopefully. "Not in the way he needs to," Julia said. "Our brains need a certain period of none REM sleep to regenerate, to rejuvenate. Alonzo hasn't been getting that kind of sleep for three days. The Terrians keep forcing REM sleep on him." The doctor sighed heavily, shifting her weight. "I've never seen anything like this before. When he falls asleep he almost immediately falls into REM sleep. If this keeps up I'm afraid that his brain might send him into a coma like state, for self preservation. We'll lose him."
"Lose him?" Devon repeated, not wanting to believe. "Can't we do anything to help him?"
"Devon!" came the excited cry from Alonzo as he came barrelling toward the two women, cutting off Julia before she could answer Devon.
"What is it?" Devon asked, looking him over. "The Terrians," he began almost out of breath. "They want us to help that lost Terrian. I think they understand now that we can help. They showed me how to find him. And if we can find him I'll be free of these dreams."

"You can't be serious," Danziger blurted out.
"You don't mean to send Uly down there," Cameron protested. "Alonzo, you've got to be out of your mind," Magus said. "Well, we always thought he was bonkers," Baines grumbled. "This just confirms it."
The entire fireside was abuzz, everyone talking at once, had been ever since Alonzo had brought up the only solution to his and the Terrians problems. Sending Uly and Alonzo down into the caves to bring that lost Terrian, the one who had been dreaming to them, out and to be united with the tribe which had been dreaming to Alonzo.
"People, please!" Yale's calm voice was lost amongst the others. "It's the only way," Alonzo defended. "He'll only respond to Uly." "How can you be sure he won't hurt you?" Julia asked, turned to Alonzo, her eyes showing him the sick, worried feeling in the pit of her stomach.
Alonzo did not want to tell her he felt the same way, unsure and scared. There was no point in adding to her concerns.
"Devon," Danziger suddenly spoke up, carefully eyeing to woman next to him. "What do you think?"
"I think it's the only way," she answered after surprisingly little thought.
"Why can't they come get him? If he needs them that badly." Morgan asked. "This is our problem too, Morgan," Alonzo said. "This Terrian, as he is, is very dangerous to the other Terrians. They want to help him but they can't get near him. He distorts the dream plane so much it makes them physically ill."
"How did this happen to him?" Denner asked. "I don't know yet," Alonzo answered. "But I do know that we have to find him, for our sakes and the Terrians. He responds to Uly and calms down. The only way is for us to go down into the tunnels. I've already talked to Devon and Uly about this, they both agree with me."
"How long do you think it will take?" Julia asked. He glanced up at the sky which was just now beginning to lose some of its brilliance.
"I hope we'll be back by morning," Alonzo said. Devon stood up and Alonzo followed her, knowing the signal. Devon had made up her mind and wanted to get it over with before she had a chance to rethink her decision. He understood her feelings and shared them. There was no guarantee that the Terrian would not harm him. But he kept his doubts to himself, knowing he had to do this and not wanting anyone to stop him.
"Let's get the ATV loaded for you two," Devon said. "I'll get Uly ready. When do you want to leave?" she asked turning to Alonzo.
"As soon as possible," Alonzo said. "I don't want to wait until morning. It's better to take care of this now."
Devon nodded, one of Danziger's hands came down on her shoulder and they turned, as a unit to get her son.
The ATV was loaded quickly with supplies and Uly was secured in the back, waiting anxiously for Alonzo to be ready to leave. Devon stood beside him, smoothing his hair down.
"Aw, Mom," Uly whined. "Would you quit that." "Sorry, Uly," she said, dropping her hand, feeling more than a little dejected. He was growing up and away from her faster than she wanted but at least he was growing up. Almost a year ago she never expected him to reach the point when he would be embarrassed by her mothering him.
Her wandering gaze found Alonzo standing in front the red vehicle, by Julia. They were holding hands and the doctor's face was flush. The pilot gently smoothed a few stray wisps of hair from her cheek and kissed it. Watching the young couple, memories of their early days here and before the crash came rushing back to her. Alonzo Solace, the cocky pilot with a girl in every port, crushed by his inability to do anything to prevent the crash and haunted by dreams he could not explain. And Doctor Julia Heller; dedicated, driven, seemingly emotionless being, lost and confused, fighting a lonely battle against the worst kind of enemy; one you were supposed to trust. Together they had found a place to belong and a life here.
"You be good, Pal," Danziger told Uly, capturing Devon's attention. "And do everything Alonzo tells you to. Okay."
"Yes, sir," Uly answered and Devon gaped at them. Here was a man, not Yale, playing father to her son. Those were words she was supposed to say to Uly. Danziger caught her gaze, smiled and shrugged.
As he walked past her to go to Alonzo he whispered, "Somebody had to say it."
All she could do was laugh, as her son stared up at her as if she had gone crazy.
"It's powered up and ready to go," Danziger told Alonzo, clapping him on the back. "You take care of yourself and that kid of Devon's. We all want both of you back in tact."
"I'll do my best," Alonzo said, hesitantly. He did not know what was out there and he sure as hell wasn't going to promise something he couldn't deliver.
Julia squeezed his hand and he swiftly pulled her to him in a fierce hug. "I'm not going to ask you to not worry about us," he whispered. "I'm not that stupid. We'll be back. Trust that."
"I'll try," she returned.
Pulling back she quickly clasped his face in her hands, and right out in front of everybody the reserved Dr. Julia Heller kissed him passionately. The group showed surprising decorum, looking at everything else but the couple.
"That's to insure you do come back," she said, a bit breathless. "What?" he said, frowning.
"Murphy's Law," she said. "Ever hear of it? If I take the right precautions and treat this situation like you aren't ever going to come back then that will insure your safe return."
A wide grin spread across his face and he shook his head. "You're nuts. You know that?"
"I might be nuts but I'll get my pilot back," she told him and gave him a gentle push in the direction of the driver's seat.
"You all strapped in back there, Buddy?" Alonzo asked the boy, as he climbed into the ATV.
"Yeah," Uly answered. "Let's get goin'." "Stay in contact with us over gear," Devon told Alonzo. "As long as I can," he replied. They all knew that once he and Uly were inside the tunnels the signal might not be strong enough to get through.
Devon nodded. Alonzo started the vehicle up and they headed out, pulling away from the Eden Advance Crew. One lone figure remained, watching the vehicle as it slowly disappeared from view. Another figure stepped up beside her, slipping an arm around her shoulder.
"They'll be fine," John said. "Alonzo, won't let anything happen to Uly." "But can he protect himself?" Devon asked. "That Terrian may not be able to harm Uly but Alonzo isn't one of them."
"Yeah, he is," Danziger told her. "He may not realize it yet, but he is." She stared up at him shocked. He squeezed her shoulder, pulling her closer. "Come on," he said. "Let's go inside." She let him lead her to the building, as she tried not to think about her son. There was no point in worrying about it. She could not do anything to help them, now.

Personal log entry 384A - Dr. June Freeman //Why do we have these dreams? They haunt us. Show us what we've lost and can never regain. My youngest sister, across the galaxy, old and withered. Nothing like the bright young woman I left behind. My mother grows old before my eyes, as I watch her die, wondering why I was never there for her. The children I never had because the Council got to me first.//
A soft, anguished feminine voice wrapped around Julia as she sat alone in the first room on the left, listening to the personal logs of the doctors. She had run out of scientific logs which had yielded no surprising data. Where those had stopped Julia had picked up the personal logs of one June Freeman.
//This creature haunt us. We can't sleep. It attacks us in our dreams. Dr. Jameson has lost all capacity for reason. No one can talk to him anymore. Fred wants to lock him in one of the cages. So, he doesn't hurt anyone, he says. I think he's
paranoid. But he has every right to be. We've already lost three of our eight. Mark and Diana fought for weeks, worse than I'd ever seen two people fight. The last time we saw them, a week ago, I had been in here trying to calm Dr. Jameson down when I heard the commotion outside. By the time I got out there all I could see were their figures running up the hill, away from the building. And Dr. Angela Grayson hanged herself yesterday. We tried to keep her from doing it, but she wouldn't listen to us. I found her in her room that night. There was nothing I could do for her.//
Julia stared at the screened stunned, unable to feel or do anything. //I'm so frightened. I don't want to end up like them. But what else can I expect. We can't do anything to stop the dreams and the constant invasions of our minds. We are going to die here. Mania will kill us surer than any disease.//
The chair spun around frantically, long after Julia had abandoned it, and the doors clattered shut behind her as she rushed out of the building, in search of Devon.

John Danziger sat to the back of the group surrounding the fire that night, uncharacteristically quiet. He was lost in his thoughts, lost in the memories of the dreams that haunted him. He had worked so hard to bury the painful memory of watching Elle die, of being powerless to do anything to prevent it. He fingered his dogtags, under his shirt, his hand slowly sliding up the chain to pull it loose. At the end dangled, along with his ID, a large gold band. His wedding ring. The conciliatory gesture Elle had made to his last marriage proposal. She'd had it engraved by a friend, at no cost. "No contract needed" it said. Her sarcastic sense of humor at work. She had given it to him, with a sparkle in her eyes, saying, "If a symbol is so important to you, here."
He slipped his finger into it, finding that it fit perfectly. A year ago, even six months ago he couldn't fit his knuckle through. This hard life had taken a few pounds off of him. *So, it's not all bad,* he thought.
Looking around anxiously at the others he dropped the ring beneath his shirt. As he did so he spotted Devon eyeing him curiously. He met her gaze and smiled. With that invitation she approached and sat down beside him.
"You looked kind of lonely sitting over here all be yourself, Sailor," she said coquettishly.
"I'm not. Now that you're here," he returned, continuing the game, slipping a hand into hers.
"Are you okay?" she asked, suddenly turning serious. "Yeah, why?" He shifted nervously, interlacing his fingers with hers. "I was just. . ." she began, looking out at the camp and then at him. "You were sitting over here, being so antisocial. Remember that's my department."
He gazed down at their hands and laughed nervously. "Why aren't you telling one of your stories?" she asked. "I'm kinda running out of them, fast," he replied. "Uh-huh, sure. You are never going to be out of stories to tell. 'Fess up," she asked softly. "I'm worried about you."
"Day before yesterday you were worried about True, now me. You worry too much, Adair."
"When someone I care about is in trouble, I worry," she told him, squeezing his hand. "It's these dreams. Isn't it? We've all had them. I know you're not immune to Terrians dreams. And I know how disturbing they are."
Leaning over his knees, he peered up at her. "Yeah, it is the dreams. I keep hearing Elle's voice. I'm out in space and it's like I'm out there that day. She's calling to me but I can't get to her and then she's gone."
Devon's arm slid over his back and she hugged him to her. "In my dreams I lose Uly. I can't touch him. He can't even talk to me. He only trills like a Terrian. And then he disappears and I'm left there alone. Trapped." He felt Devon sigh. "But they're only dreams, they target our worst fears and grief. We can't give into them."
"I know, I was just thinking about Elle," he told her. "I'm long past taking the blame for what happened to her. I just can't seem to forgive that she's gone."
"What does True dream? Did she tell you?" He nodded. "She says she dreams of me and Elle together with her. But then something rips us away from her and she's left alone. It's all the same dream, it just changes the players."
"I know," Devon agreed, as he sat up straighter. "That's why we can't give into them. They aren't real."
The couple's quiet solace was interrupted by the sounds of doors banging together. And their heads swiveled quickly to see Julia Heller hurrying into camp.
"Devon! Yale! All of you!" she said. "You're not going to believe this."

"This Terrian single-handedly drove eight scientists crazy?" Yale repeated Julia's previous statement.
The group had gathered in the main laboratory to listen to what Julia had to say. Most were staring at her bewildered, but Devon seemed to find it perfectly logical.
"Yes," Julia replied. "They were receiving the same dreams we were, from that Terrian Uly and Alonzo went after. From what I understand about the dream plane and the Terrians is that they need the dreaming to survive. Nearly as much as they need the earth. It keeps them centered and sane. But we need both REM and non REM sleep for our brains to function properly. As I told Devon; the longer we go without uninterrupted sleep the faster our brains start to deteriorate. And with pronounced jumps in the level of REM sleep, mania sets in. They began to suspect everyone, to try to hurt themselves and others. They didn't know who they were anymore. One woman hanged herself and two others disappeared, two men strangled each other, another slit her wrists, the list goes on. The guilt at what they did to the Terrians destroyed them."
"But why after two years would this Terrians still be dreaming?" Danziger asked.
"I don't know," Julia answered. "He could be crazy. The lack of a dreaming mate could have had a profound effect on him. We'll have to wait until Alonzo and Uly can get to him, to find the answers. Right now what we need to know is that we can't let these dreams drive us crazy. Don't give into them. Maybe now that Uly and Alonzo are down there and can find him the dreams will stop. He won't be so alone. We can only hope that they can accomplish something."
"Do you think this is the place?" Uly asked, his flashlight's beam frantically bouncing around the tiny entrance to a caves. Alonzo nodded in response. "Maybe we don't need to go down there. We could call him out," Uly suggested a tremor in his young voice.
"No, sorry, Buddy," Alonzo answered. "We have to go down there. We'll be okay." He sank to his knees in front of the little boy, their faces glowing in the white light of the lumalights. "Just remember that he can't hurt you."
"But he could hurt you," Uly said. "He didn't seem to like you very much." "I know but I don't think he'll hurt me," Alonzo lied, there was no sense in scaring Uly any more than he already was. "We'll be fine we just have to play it safe. Promise me you will do everything I say."
Uly nodded and Alonzo stood, turning his eyes to the small hole in the rock and dirt. If Danziger had been the one to come instead there would be no way he could have gotten through it. And Alonzo would be pushing his luck, but he had to try. He scrambled through with only one close call, ripping his sleeve in the process but not damaging his skin. Once inside he cleared the way for Uly, and the boy crawled through the opening easily, hopping down into the chamber which branched off in two direction.
*Oh great,* Alonzo grumbled. *A fifty/fifty chance to get it right.*

Devon strolled the small settlement, trying to take her mind off of her worries. This place had a way of amplifying her fears; for Uly, for Alonzo, for the group as a whole. She could not explain it in any rational terms, it was just a feeling. What these people had gone through, the emotions, the turmoil seemed to be trapped in time, permeating this place. Devon had spent at least an hour reading the personal files of one of the scientists and had to relinquish her seat to someone else, unable to read any further. Emily had flat-out refused to read, remembering bits and pieces of the information stored there was enough for her. Devon couldn't blame her. It was ghastly.
Decided that fresh air was what she needed she stole outside, the night air was cool and the two moons were still high, one lower on the horizon than the other, shining like the finest silver. She took a deep breath of the chilled night air, pulled the thermal blanket closer around her shoulders and kept walking.

Uly's whole body stiffened, as his Terrians side took over. He turned to his left and pointed.
"He's this way," the boy said and started off through the tunnel opening there.
Alonzo hurried after him, knowing logically they could do no real harm to Uly but still fearing for him. He followed the boy through the tunnels, not really knowing where they were headed, and wondering how Uly knew. None of them knew just how deep the connection ran for Uly. There were times when he acted more Terrian than Human and that often frightened Devon; a mother who had gone to great lengths to save her son, only to have to give him up in the process. Well, he sure wasn't going to be responsible for Devon losing her son. He picked up his pace calling for Uly to slow down.

Danziger prowled the camp, looking for Devon. He had last seen her in the lab about an hour ago, when he had left to get some work done on the new vehicle. Asking around had done no good. No one seemed to know where she was. Walman said he had seen her in the main building, but John had just come from there. Baines said he had seen her with Julia; wrong. Julia was lost in reading the files. And by the looks of her, had been there for some time. Both Magus and Cameron swore they saw Adair go into her room, but that had been the first place John had checked only minutes before. He saw Yale standing by the fire and decided if anyone would know where Devon really was it would be the tutor.
"Yale," he called as he approached. "What can I do for you, John?" Yale asked. "You can help me find Devon. No one seems to know where she's gone." "She isn't in her room?" Yale asked and a low groan sounded deep in Danziger's throat. "I'm guessing you already looked there."
"Where is she? It's not like her to go wandering off and not answer her gear." Danziger looked sideways at Yale. "I know. I shouldn't talk," he said, grimacing.
"She's worried about Uly and when Devon is worried she likes to be alone. Give her time. I'm sure she will turn up soon," Yale said trying to be reassuring.
"Thanks," Danziger said and turned from the older man. Not willing to give in, John circled the settlement scanning the ridge and the trees for any sign. If Devon wasn't in camp then she must have found a spot where no one would think to look of her. A flash of something caught his eye, what looked like it might be a thermal blanket. It was under the trees, a ways up the hill. A smile crept up onto his lips as he started up after Devon.
After quite a trek, he found her lying on the ground, on a blanket, staring up at the stars, her boots resting beside her. He would never have thought she could look more beautiful than he already thought she was, but bathed in the moonglow she seemed to be made of porcelain. A peacefulness radiated from her, as she took deep breathes of the cool night air, unaware that she was being watched. He was drawn into the world she had built around herself and took one tentative step towards her. Devon quickly rose from the blanket at the sound of footsteps, gazing around alarmed.
"Devon," he called out, to ease her mind. She exhaled loudly. "John, what are you doing here?" she asked. "You should know better than to disappear from camp like that," he scolded mildly, ventured a few more steps, almost feeling like it would be a violation to step into her carefully constructed haven.
"I just needed to be alone somewhere no one would look," she told him, then reached out a hand to invite him in. "I came up here to be alone and the funny thing is, I don't want to be. I'm glad you came."
John sighed, smiling and broke through the barrier, into her world. "Still worried about Uly?" he asked, as he took the place offered, beside her.
"Uh-huh," she murmured, settling down again, gazing up at the stars. "He'll be all right. Alonzo's with him."
"You sound like you're not too sure," he said, looking down at her. "I want to be, and that's the first step." She reached over and clasped his hand. "I don't want to think about it. It's so perfect, so peaceful. I just want to stay right here all night," she sighed, her gaze flickering about among the trees over head.
"Isn't it kinda cold out here?" John asked. The days might be warm but the nights were still cool.
"It's not that cold," she said. "It's such a beautiful spot." He smiled at her, shaking his head. "Sometimes I wonder if they forgot common sense when they made you."
She laughed; a bright laugh that charmed him. He interlaced his fingers with hers and settled down to lay beside her. He found it wasn't that cold after all, here next to Devon. So, he relaxed, breathing in the clean night air.
Devon lay staring at the stars over her head, feeling strange that she was not concerned about her son anymore. The only thoughts that were filling her head were thoughts of John Danziger laying next to her. She watched him out of the corner of her eye, saw his chest rise as he drew in each breath and fall as he exhaled.
She giggled, breaking the silence that lay comfortably between them, but did not say anything as she fought to get control of herself.
"Are you gonna share the joke, or am I gonna have to drag it out of you?" He murmured, when she did not say anything.
She laughed and said, "I was just thinking." "About what?"
She shifted and propped herself up on one arm, he turned his head to face her.
"About that time we went searching for water. Do you remember? You laid that blanket out for me in the shade. And the Terrians tied us up with those vine." She couldn't help the giggle that was forced out of her.
The memory of that day sprang to her mind, with startling clarity. She could almost feel the oppressive heat in the air. John had treated her like some pampered society lady that day, even though he knew she had braved this harsh landscape with all of them. And he had acted like the lowly drone he thought he was. It had never occurred to her that he felt she was treating him like something beneath her, until he had said it to her face. It had been insulting to both of them after all they had been through, but she had tried to take it with grace, even as her tempered flared defensively, with his. It had always angered her when people claimed a monopoly on pain. Just because she was rich and from the privileged class did not mean she was free from suffering.
They had been through so much that day, learned so much about each other. She couldn't help but laugh at the way he had jumped up from that blanket, like a cat on springs; the first hint of his attraction to her. It had been uncomfortable, when they had been tied up together, to be so close to him, knowing that the attraction was there. Her face flushed as she remembered how they had gotten free. That had been just a tad too intimate for her liking, at that point in their relationship.
"Please, don't remind me," he groaned. "I was hoping you had forgotten." "Never," she teased. "I have to have something to hold over your head when we're old and grey."
He shifted onto his side. "So, you plan on us goin' grey together?" he questioned in a playful tone.
"With any luck, yes." she answered, her hand gliding over his chest. The desire flickering in his eyes made her heart skip.
She sat up again and scooted down to the edge of the blanket, reaching for his right shoe, and began untying it.
"Devon, what're you doing?" he asked, propping himself up to see. "I want to make sure you don't run off, this time," she said as she slipped off his boot, laid it next to hers then started on the other one.
He just laughed, shaking his head and let her continue. Soon his shoes were abandoned with hers and they were lying in each other's arms. Devon pillowed her head on his chest. His mechanic's vest was uncomfortable under her cheek. She propped herself up, again.
"John, can we get rid of this?" she asked, fingering its edge. "Sure," he said, eying her suspiciously. She watched him as he slipped out of his jacket and removed the vest. Sudden like a shot, she saw him on the flight deck of the Advance ship, and heard him badgering O'Neill about what they would be up against once they returned. She remembered clearly, the defiance written in his stance and especially in his eyes as he had turned to her. She tried to shake it off.
"Why do you still wear it?" she asked. "I don't know, force of habit," he answered. "It's kind of comforting, in a strange way."
She nodded, they all needed something familiar to hold onto, something that reminded them of where they came from and who they were. But they weren't those people who had left the stations any longer. They were both so much more. And she would not turn back the clock for anything.
He threw aside the vest and she waited for him to put his jacket back on, before they settled down again.
"That better?" he asked, pulling her close. "Much," she sighed.
Lying here with John under the stars she felt there was nothing else in the world but the two of them. She heard that little voice in the back of her mind that was telling her to whit grow quieter, until she could not hear it at all. What did it really matter? Bess was right. There was no reason to deny themselves what they both wanted.
"Devon," John whispered, after a long silence. "Hmm." She shifted and felt him tense. A smile crept onto her lips. "I can't do this anymore," he sighed, weary and began to move away from her but she moved with him. She was not going to let him get away from her tonight.
"You don't have to," she said, holding his gaze. "John, I don't think we should put it off any longer."
"You don't?" His brow furrowed.
"There's no point in waiting any longer," she told him, her hand resting over his thumping heart. "I want you to make love to me; here. . . now."
"But we agreed. . ." he said.
"So, we changed our minds," she did not let him finish. He laughed nervously.
"You're serious? You're really sure you want this?" the expression on his face, caught between giddiness and uncertainty, made her giggle. "The last time. . ."
"The last time you pulled away from me," she reminded. "Yeah, I know, but you agreed with me that it would be too distracting," he returned.
"John, it's already too much of a distraction," she said, leaning closer to his face. "Just shut up and kiss me."
With a giddy smile he complied.
His hand slipped up the back of her neck and he pulled her down, kissing her almost reverently, as if it were a privilege. But that quickly changed as she returned his kiss with surprising urgency. She was tentative with her caresses, unsure. Richard had been the only other man she had ever been intimate with. And that had been so long ago, since before Uly was born. She had so little experience, would she do the right thing, or would she do everything wrong? John must have felt the tension in her, because he pulled away.
"Devon, *please* tell me you aren't having second thoughts," he said, forcing a painful smile.
"No," she assured, her hands nervously worrying the buttons of his shirt. "I want this. Believe me, I want this."
"Then what is it?" he asked, a bit testy. "I'm nervous," she said. She could not meet his gaze, locking her eyes on the Eden Project patch on his jacket. "It's...um...been ten years since I...uh...have... been with a man."
He heaved a sigh of relief, she fell with his chest. "Is that all. Devon," he said, running his fingers through her hair. "If it would make you feel better, It's been a long time for me, too."
"How long?" she asked, curious, sitting back. "As of right now." He looked at an imaginary watch on his wrist. "Four years, two months, one week, two days, five hours, twenty-two minutes, and ten second," he joked. She laughed, her hand covering his. He shifted nervously and said, "It was about five years ago, minus twenty-two, I guess. Wentworth introduced me to this woman she knew. She thought we would be perfect for each other. We went out for a while, but we never really clicked."
"It was Uly's father for me," she told him. Devon was trembling from so many emotions rushing through her at once. This was not something she had had to deal with in too long and it was embarrassing, awkward, scary, and exciting. "I feel like an idiot. I don't want to ruin this for you."
Danziger sat up and placed a hand gently on the side of her face. She leaned into it and he smiled. His smile always sent her heart reeling, it brightened his entire face, softening him.
"Devon, all I want is you," he told her. "You don't have to be perfect. Hell, nobody's perfect. I just want to be with you. I'm nervous, too. I don't know what you want or what's the right thing to do either. But finding out is part of the fun."
*The discovery is part of the excitement,* she told herself. Hearing that he wanted her so much, excited her and dampened her nerves a little. Devon leaned into him.

The Horror of Loneliness, Section 2/2 (3/3)
by Paula Sanders
copyright 1995

"Okay," she breathed and pressed her lips to his, easing his jacket off his shoulders and he did the same for her.
Jackets gone, he pulled her closer, deepening the kiss, and she sank with him back onto the blanket. Hands roamed, still tentative but no longer tethered, seeking to find those secret places, eliciting gasps and quiet pleas for more when found. Clothing was leisurely discarded. His lips joined his hands in his exploration of her curves and her heartbeat and breath quickened. The bristle of his few days growth of beard raised goose bumps along her skin. She had no trouble abandoning herself to him. It had never been like this for her. Richard had never bothered with her pleasure only his own. John wanted to share this act of love with her.
Eager to see how her touch would arouse him, Devon's hands became bolder and lips did their own exploring, investigating the curves and planes of his body. He lay back, taking hold of her bare shoulders and sighed deeply, as her body slithered over his, her lips pressing a soft kiss to the sensitive hollow at the base of his throat, feeling the rumbling sigh under her lips. Her hand found a particularly sensitive spot and he jerked, and grinned up at her, their laughter mingling. With a quiet, predatorial growl, which sent shivers chasing through her, he rolled her over, descending on her, capturing her in a long, slow kiss. Her hands passed over his muscular shoulders and tangled in his silky curls, her long, sinewy legs gliding up and down his more massive ones.
He pulled back from her, his hand smoothing over her jaw and down her slim throat. She gazed up at him, his face framed by the trees and field of stars overhead. She was struck suddenly by her silly, girlish fantasies of wild, lawless passion with no boundaries. She had given up, long ago, on that being even remotely possible. Yet, here she was out under the stars with a man she was crazy in love with. She almost lost herself in his eyes; hazy, deep, blue with desire.
"I love you, Devon," he sighed, brushing his nose against her cheek. "Love you, John," she forced out around the tightness in her throat, and pulled him down over her.
They took their time, hiding behind the rocks and underbrush, out of view of the camp, with hours still left to this night; discovering, sharing, finally giving in to their passion. The silvery shadows of the trees blown by the wind danced over the pair as they joined. Held tight in his embrace, she quieted her cries of passion against his strong shoulder, not wanting to alert the camp, but longing to scream her joy out to the night.

"Uly!" Alonzo called to the boy walking ahead of him. "We've been wandering these tunnels for hours. Are you sure you know the way?"
Alonzo was sure it had to be close to dawn by now, if not already. Uly halted and spun around, his body swaying a bit. The little boy was again just a little boy, the Terrian portion seemed to have vanished as quickly as it had come.
"I think so," he replied, looking around confused. With an exasperated sigh, the pilot sank to the ground, weary. "You think so," Alonzo repeated, his tone harsh. Alonzo took a few breathes to calm himself before speaking again. "Why don't we take a break, huh? Your mom packed a snack for us. I for one could use a bite to eat." Alonzo tried a smile, but he was too tired.
"All right," Uly replied and plopped himself down next to Alonzo. As he dug into the backpack, the thought sprang to Alonzo's mind that he had not planned this little expedition out very well. He had no idea what he and Uly were going to do once they found this Terrian. *Real smart,* he chided. But they might be better off that way. The Terrians were so unpredictable that it was better for them to not try to anticipate what the creature would do, especially this one.
Alonzo curled his legs up and devoured the nutrition bar which had been packed for him, his mind mulling over what to do next. Wandering aimlessly around these caves was pointless. There had to be a better way to find this creature. And the only way he knew was to try to lure it, but that would mean going back into the dream plane with him again. With courage that was not concrete he made a hasty decision.
"We're going to try to dream with him again," Alonzo told Uly. The boy stared up at him with disbelieving eyes. "But. . ." "We could try to bring him here to us," Alonzo explained. "It's better than wandering around down here for days. He could be anywhere and we have no other way of finding him."
Uly nodded his agreement and they entered the dream plane quickly, before they could change their minds. Alonzo let his mind search, trying to ascertain who had control of the dream this time. His mind automatically latched onto Uly. The little boy was calling out in a gentle, friendly, beckoning trill, something this poor Terrian would not be able to resist. And as expected Alonzo felt the presence of the Terrian joining theirs. As it drew closer, Alonzo felt the dream plane slipping away from him, until he was fully awake and sitting in the cave, staring at the feet of the Terrian they had come down here looking for. Fear sprang up in Alonzo and he scrambled away from the creature.
"No, Alonzo!" Uly called. "It's all right. He won't hurt you." But Alonzo ignored the boys words, because the Terrians was advancing on both of them. Solace jumped to his feet and grabbed Uly, shoving the boy behind him. A hiss, filled with anger and fear erupted from the creature. Uly burst out from behind Alonzo before he could stop him. And in quiet soothing tone the boy talked to this wretched creature. The pilot watched amazed as the Terrian calmed and sank into a crouch before Uly.
"Uly," Alonzo whispered. "Can you understand him?" "Yeah, a little," Uly answered. "He's afraid we'll take him away, like the others."
"He was a part of that tribe at the lab?" Alonzo felt his breath catch and his stomach turn over. Uly nodded. "He was left all alone. Can you get him to tell you how he survived?"
"I can try," Uly said.
Alonzo suddenly felt himslef being dragged into the dream plane. He saw five Terrians rushing about, desperate for a hiding place, hounded by some unknown being he knew he could not escape. He found himself at the head of a murky, mist covered pool. This was a Moon Cross pool. He was forced into it, shoved down. A Terrified screamed sounded so loudly his ears and throat burned, as he struggled against the pull of the pool. But there was no fighting it. His last sight was of electric shocks hitting his tribe, family, before the pool swallowed him up.
Solace shook off the dream plane, to see the Terrian hunkered down on the ground, head lowered, Uly standing before him.
"How did he get out of the pool?" Alonzo asked. "It spit him out," Uly answered.
"Great imagery, Uly. Thanks," Alonzo said sarcastically. "Terrians can't go into the pool until Moon Cross. It won't accept them. But this Terrian had just been. . . uh. . . born. I guess that's the right word. It hid him until it was safe."
"Has he been down here all alone for these three years?" Alonzo said. "Yeah." Uly shifted uneasily and stepped away from the Terrian. Alonzo took Uly's place in front of the creature. He lowered himself to be closer, careful to avoid physical contact. The Terrian's head rose slowly and gazed at Alonzo sideways, curious, fearful.
"I won't hurt you," his tone was soothing. "I think I know a way to help you."
It trilled at him softly, *Truth?* Alonzo nodded and reached for hte creature, which proved to be a stupid move.
The Terrian surged to its feet, knocking Alonzo back, lashing out at him, its long nails biting through the fabric of his jacket and shirt, catching in the pilot's side, biting into his skin. Alonzo cried out and the Terrian fled to the other side of hte chamber, screeching.
"It's all right!" Uly called to it. Alonzo fell to the cavern floor, curling into a fetal position, trying hard not to whimper or cry out. The pain was searing and he knew he was losing blood, he could feel it's sticky wetness against his skin.
"Uly," he groan. "Get Julia."
"But how," Uly cried. "The gear doesn't work down here." "You'll have to go up top," Alonzo told him. "But..."
"Just go, Uly!" Alonzo barked.
Uly jumped to his feet, swiftly turning to the Terrian and trilled. For some unexplainable reason, maybe it was the pain or disorientation, he could understand. Uly telling the creature to not hurt Alonzo and to watch over him. In a flash the little boy was gone and Alonzo was alone with an unpredictable creature. He said a quiet pray for Uly's swiftness, as he felt his strength ebbing.
John lay awake in the grey pre-dawn light. He and Devon had shrugged into their clothing before drifting off to sleep, just in case any of the group came looking for them. Devon was nestled just under the crook of his arm, curled up along his side, her right leg draped over him, hand resting lightly over his heart. He had forgotten how wonderful this felt. It was probably a good thing that he had forgotten or else he would not have lasted so long. He thought it would be okay by him if he could wake up to the feel of Devon against him every morning for the rest of his life.
Devon had taken him completely by surprise last night. He would never have thought she had it in her, and that embarrassed him a little. He had fallen prey to the impression that Devon was a cold fish, even though he was in love with her and she tempted him just by being in close proximity to him. He would never have pegged her for the passionate type. But last night she had practically seduced him. Not that that had been too hard, he was willing, ready and able to fall over the edge with her. It was just that he never would have guessed she could be so intense. He should have known right off. With a temper like hers, could he expect any different when she turned that fire onto something much more satisfying?
Devon breathed a long sigh and he felt her head push against his side, as she woke up. Her hand and arm slid over his chest and her entire body moved against his as she stretched and he bit his lower lip in an attempt to control his hormones.
"Mm - morning," she breathed, blinking at him from under her bangs, her chin resting on his chest.
"Morning, Sleepy-head," he returned, wrapping his arm around her and pushing the bangs away from her eyes.
She smiled, her eyes travelling down his body. A giggle floated out of her and she buried her face against his chest.
"I can hardly believe we did that," she whispered. "It almost doesn't seem real."
"Well, if ya'd like, I could refresh your memory," he offered, as his hand stole under her untucked shirt, to glide up her bare side.
He leaned closer to her and pressed a kiss to her forehead - she brushed her face against his side, shifting - his lips trailed down her temple, over one eyelid - she tilted her face up toward his - along her cheek - then finally she stretched up to kiss him full on the lips.
"I wish," she mumbled in a husky voice, as she broke the kiss. "I think we better talk to Julia, when we get back, about making up suppressors for me," he said, bringing up the subject. He held Devon's gaze for a moment, she looked nervous and his heart leapt into his throat. "You don't think you could have gotten pregnant? Do you?"
She shook her head, obviously unable to speak. He was unsure of how she felt, but he knew how he felt. Having another kid, especially one with Devon, was not such a bad thing. Actually he kind of liked the idea, but it was too risky out here. And what would True and Uly think? Now, was definitely not the time to complicate things further. But he hoped one day, and soon, they could add to their combined family. He hoped she felt that way, too.
"That's something we'll just have to deal with when and if we have to," she told him. "Hey, perk up. It wouldn't be a disaster, if it did happen now. Just mildly inconvenient." She squeezed his hand reassuringly and smiled. "Come on. We have to get back."
"Yeah, we should head back," he repeated. Then, making up his mind, he caught her arm as she moved to sit up. "But not just yet."
"What is it?" she asked, turning to face him. "Devon, you know how I am," he began. "Once someone becomes important to me, I can't just shut that off. It's forever."
Her brow furrowed and he swallowed hard, sitting up. He hadn't felt this nervous in years.
*Not since I asked Elle. . .* he reminded himself, causing his mind to scream in panic.
"I don't know what I would do without you, John. I need you too much," she told him, honestly. "I don't even want to think about you not being here, with me."
John breathed in a lung full of air, puffing up his chest. And with the long exhaled breath he asked it;
"Will you marry me, Devon?"
She did not speak, only her eyes told him what she might be thinking. They sparkled with tears and laughter. Devon looked down at her hands, overlapped on one of her thighs. Then, reached for her right hand and removed the gold band she had always worn on her ring finger there. Silently, she held it and her left hand out to him.
"Yes?" he asked quietly, hopefully, taking the ring. "Yes," she returned, with surety.
He did not think he had ever heard a sweeter word. He gently took her hand in his shaking one and placed the simple gold band on her left ring finger.
When he looked back up at her face, he saw tears in her eyes and her nose and cheeks were slightly red from keeping them from spilling over. He knew he had not seen that particular smile on her face since the day he had brought Uly out of the Terrian caves and to her again, healthy and whole. He felt like his heart would burst and let loose with a whoop of laughter, sweeping his arms about her. Her sweet laughter joined his as she wrapped her arms around him; holding him tightly.
"Hey," John said pulling back. "There's one more thing." He reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out the dogtag necklace which held his wedding ring. He had to believe that Elle would approve, it was only fitting.
"Where did you get that?" Devon asked curiously reaching for it. He fingered it anxiously. "Elle gave it to me, after she refused my second marriage proposal." The look in Devon's eyes was melancholy. "She had it inscribed. It says, 'No contract needed.'" He laughed self consciously. "Elle had an odd sense of humor."
Devon laughed and he couldn't help joining her. He placed the ring in Devon's hand.
"I never got to wear it," he admitted. "I'd like to wear it for you." "I think she'd approve," Devon assured him, caressing his cheek. She slipped the ring on his finger with solemn joy and then wrapped her arms around him, securely, planting a firm kiss on his lips. To seal the bond.

Bess Martin ventured out of her tent at a rather ungodly hour when the sun wasn't fully up, yet. She had left Morgan sleeping, he could be such a bear in the mornings she usually just left him to wake up on his own, when they did not have to be up. Especially after they had kept each other up last night. She and her husband had taken advantage of this leisure time to indulge themselves. It seemed like forever since they had not been so tired at the end of the day, from walking, that all they wanted to do was fall into bed and asleep.
She was stretching in lazy contentedness when she saw Devon Adair and John Danziger already up, sitting together in the supply tent. She was surprised to see them because John usually slept late and dragged himself out of his tent. Bess headed for them but was stopped in her tracks, when she saw Devon laugh at something he said, her hand dropped onto his thigh in a decidedly intimate way. Bess's mouth gaped a bit, as she stared at the couple. She knew that look about them, it was impossible to miss. It took all her decorum to suppress the urge to run forward and hug both of them, she would have to be more subtle.
Bess waited for Danziger to leave. He stood, dropped a lingering kiss on Devon's lips and left her to go to the building. Devon watched him go and Bess had to stifle a giddy laugh at the suggestive smile playing on Devon's lips. She had hoped for so long that Devon and Danziger could be happy together and not hold anything back and what she saw this morning told her that there was nothing standing between them any more. Bess could not contain herself any longer. She scurried over to Devon, in an unceremonious and blatant manner.
Devon saw her coming and the smile faded for a split second before reappearing.
"You were right, Bess," Devon said. She sat down next to Devon and surprised her by hugging her. "I know this seems silly, but I'm so happy for you two," Bess said and Devon laughed. "I noticed that you were gone from camp last night. I'm assuming John followed you and that you two took *full* advantage of your time together."
"Bess," Devon hissed, as she turned bright red, that giddy grin still on her face.
"I knew it," Bess said, almost laughing. "So, how was it?" "You are an incurable gossip, Bess," Devon chided, but that did not stop her from confiding. "It was beyond description." Bess was surprised to hear Devon admit. They both laughed, feeling like teenagers. "More than I ever thought it could be." Devon admitted.
Bess noticed something shimmering on Devon's left hand. She knew Devon wore a ring on her right hand, so it was odd to see it on her left hand, on her ring finger. *On her ring finger,* the thought repeated in her mind.
"Devon," she began, with tightly contained excitement. Bess indicated the gold band. "Does this mean what I think it means."
Devon nodded, "Yes, John asked me to marry him and I accepted." "That's fantastic!" Bess squealed and hugged Devon.
Bess's squeal of delight carried to Danziger where he stood, not too far away, his hand on the door handle. He spun around to see Bess hugging the life out of Devon and she returned it.
*Oh great,* he thought. *Now everyone will know.* The door knocked Danziger off balance as it swung open and he was caught by Yale, as the other man exited.
"I'm sorry, John," Yale apologized, helping Danziger to right himself. "No, it was my fault."
"Well, um, good morning, John," Yale said. "I left True getting dressed. She should be out any minute now."
"Morning," John said. "Thanks for looking after True for me." "My pleasure," Yale returned.
John squirmed uneasily. Yale was treating this morning just like any other morning. As if the most amazing thing had not just happened the night before. *and a good portion of the early morning,* John reminded himself, his heart rate jumping. Yale didn't seem at all bothered, not a feather ruffled.
*Maybe he doesn't realize,* Danziger thought. *Nah, he's not that stupid.* "Did she have another nightmare?" John asked. "No, there was only that scare before you left," Yale assured him. "She slept peacefully through the night."
"Good," Danziger said.
"John, would you quit squirming like a teenage boy under a protective father's gaze," Yale said, slapping Danziger's shoulder. "I'm fine with it."
With that, he walked off leaving John gaping after him.
"Bess, don't tell anyone, yet. Please," Devon requested. "We haven't had a chance to talk to the children."
Devon turned a pleading gaze on Bess, hoping she would understand. "Of course," Bess said. "I promise not to tell anyone what I know." "Thank you."
"But it's going to be hard to hide something like that ring," Bess reminded her. "Or that silly grin on your face. You're practically glowing." Devon blushed scarlet again.
Suddenly Bess's head shot up and the startled look in her eyes made Devon spin around in her seat.
"Good morning, Devon," Yale said, as he approached. "Did you sleep well." Devon could only gape at him, so Bess answered for her, "What sleep she did get, yes."
Devon shot a severe warning look at the other woman and Yale actually laughed. Bess stood to make a diplomatic retreat. The cyborg took the vacant seat next to his former charge, smiling at her reassuringly and Devon found her nervousness easing.
"I knew you were upset last night, about Uly and wanted to be alone," he looked guilty. "I told John where you were."
Devon gaped at him again. "I don't know whether to thank you or be angry," she laughed.
"Thank me, I hope," he returned. His head ducked and he stared down at his cyborg arm. "You know, there was a time when you came to me to talk you're troubles out. But I guess I must relinquish that duty, as well."
"I'm sorry, Yale," Devon said, sadly. "Don't be, Devon," he assured her, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "My memory, of who I was, becomes clearer everyday and one thing I remember is being in love. I had a girlfriend in high school. Her name escapes me. But I remember how beautiful she was. I didn't care about anything else but her. I understand you wanting to be with John."
Devon ducked her head embarrassed. "It's funny," he laughed. "I feel like a father who has just given away his daughter."
Devon could not contain the giddy smile that spread across her face as her eyes turned to the ring on her left hand.
"Devon has something happened?" he asked her. She nodded sheepishly and held out her left hand to him. "John asked me to marry him and I said yes."
Yale's face wore a startled expression which made Devon laugh. Just before he reached out and hugged her, Devon swore she saw tears in his eyes.
"That's wonderful," Yale whispered. "I'm very happy for you." He leaned back and asked, "Forgive me from playing the Devil's advocate here but, what are you going to do about the children?"
"We've talked about that," Devon said. "We have to tell True now, before she finds out. Uly can wait till he comes back, but we can't wait to tell True. She'd find out on her own before then." She raised her hands to cover her face. "Oh god, Yale. What if they don't want us to get married? What if they're angry with us?"
"I'm sure they'll be fine with it, Devon." He laid a comforting hand on her shoulder and she smiled up at him. "They haven't given you any trouble yet. Have they?"
"Not really. But I don't think True is entirely happy with things," Devon said. "Do you think I should let John talk to her alone?"
"No," Yale answered with lightening quickness. "If you and John are going to get married, now would be a good time for you four to start thinking of yourselves as a family. The children need to see that unity. It will be easier for them to accept if you approach this together."
Devon nodded, accepting his advice. Then surged to her feet. "I should go. True is probably driving her father crazy with questions."

"Where were you all night?" True asked, as Danziger entered their room and had to stifle a laugh.
She was scowling at him and her hands were planted firmly on her hips. She was is full maternal mode.
"Why did you just up and leave without telling me? That's not very considerate," she continued her scolding. "I was worried about you. Remember what you told me, don't go wandering off alone."
*I wasn't alone,* John thought but could not say. True's eyes locked onto his hand and she pointed at it. "What's that?" she asked.
"What?" he returned.
"That ring." She pointed again, stabbing with her index finger. "Why are you wearing it? I never see you wear it."
"True? John?" he heard Devon call and blew out the breath he had been holding.
Devon poked her head inside the room before entering. And she returned the smile John gave her. Stepping up to him she slipped her arm around his middle.
"Okay, guys," True sighed. "You don't have to tell me. It's as plain as the noses on your faces."
*No, she can't know that,* screamed in his mind as he turned anxious eyes to Devon only to find the same in hers.
"I've seen enough of those rings to know what they mean," True said and both adults breathed a sigh of relief. "You want to get married, right."
Devon nodded and he confirmed it by saying, "I asked Devon this morning and she accepted."
He watched a shocked expression form on her face, even though she was the one who brought it up, and moved away from Devon to his daughter.
"You're all right with this, aren't you, Sport?" "I don't know," she answered honestly. "What's Uly going to say?" Danziger looked back to see Devon chewing her bottom lip. "He'll probably jump for joy," True spat contemptuously. "True," Danziger said in his first rate paternal tone, though he couldn't help smiling.
"He really likes you, Dad," True admitted. "I think he wishes you were his father."
John could not fight his urge to sneak a look at Devon. A brilliant smile lit her face and she shrugged.
"Well, I guess he's going to get his wish," Devon replied. She sobered and stepped closer to the little girl. John backed off a little. "True, I want you to be okay with this. I need to know you're happy with things the way they are. I'd like to be your friend. I always have."
True nodded. "Let me get used to it, okay." "Okay," Devon added.
At the acceptance, Danziger exhaled the breath he felt like he had been holding for hours.
"DEVON! JOHN!" the frantic voice of Julia Heller shattered their happy meeting.
The couple spun around and rushed out of the room, to come face to face with a very distraught Dr. Heller. Her eyes were glassy with tears and anxious worry. And her hands quickly rose to her mouth.
"Oh my god, Julia what's wrong?" Devon asked, stepping up to her friend. "Uly just called in," she answered. "Is he all right?" Devon asked hurriedly, not waiting for Julia to elaborate.
"He's fine!" Julia spat. "Alonzo's been injured." "Well, what are we waiting around here for?" Danziger all but shouted. "Get your gear together and let's go find him."
Julia nodded and hurried off. Devon placed a hand on John's arm, which he promptly slipped around her. He looked back over his shoulder at the sound of a quiet sigh, to see True hugging herself.
"Hey, True," he said, turning around, his hand sliding down Devon's arm to clasp her hand. He moved to lean in to his daughter. "Alonzo's gonna be fine." He placed a hand on her shoulder. She nodded.
"Let's go get Julia," Devon said, giving his hand a squeeze.
Julia Heller, chromo-alt, bred to be a first rate doctor in skill and ability to rationalize and distance herself from every situation, could not stop her hands from shaking enough to get her supplies into her medical bag. She let loose an exasperated growl and threw a sedaderm into the bag. Stepping back she breathed a sigh.
*Get a grip, Heller,* she scolded, and her hands moved to smooth back her hair. Instead they wrapped around her bangs. *Think clearly. Uly's just a kid, he was probably exaggerating. Alonzo's probably not as bad off as it sounded.* These were the things she tried to tell herself, but it did not do much to help.
She began again to stuff things into her supply kit frantically, trying to keep the tears at bay. *The Terrian
attacked Alonzo. He was cut badly. There was blood everywhere.* That's what Uly had told her. Another involuntary cry escaped her lips and she fell against the table, a tear slipping down her cheek.
*God, no. Please let him be all right,* she pleaded. She could not lose him now, not now when they were just beginning.
"Julia," Devon called, from the doorway. The doctor spun around to see Devon and Danziger scanning the room wide-eyed. She took a look herself and noticed her medical supplies scattered about the small room. The nervous laugh exploded out of her.
"I couldn't find what I needed and then they just refused to get in the bag," she attempted to explain.
"It's all right, Julia," Devon assured her. "He'll be fine." "And the sooner we get to him the better off he'll be," John said, stepping around her and picking up her medical kit.
"You're right," Julia said, pulling herself together. "Julia?" True appeared in the doorway as her father was heading out. "What is it, True?" Julia asked impatiently "I. . . I want help. I could be of help." True gazed expectantly at the three adults before her. Julia lunged forward and practically hugged the life out of True.
"Thank you, True. I could really use your help." John slipped out the door and the other three followed quickly. Outside the four reported to the rest of the group what they had found out, telling them not to expect them back anytime soon and sped away; John, Devon and Julia in the DuneRail, True driving the ATV.

A weak moan sounded deep in Alonzo's throat, as he lay back against his wadded up jacket. The boy had returned but Alonzo could not tell how quickly. Time seemed almost irrelevant now. He felt the rough bandage Uly had wrapped around Alonzo's middle to try and slow the bleeding, just as Julia had told the boy to do. It was sticky and wet, already. The pilot's mind drifting in and out of conscious thought, the dream plane catching him, then slipping away. He caught snatches here and there from the Terrians who was crouched next to him, his hands against a vein of sunstones.
Uly was with the Terrian on the dream plane, seeming to show the creature the way, to lead him around, like the Terrians had done Alonzo in his early, reluctant, more insecure days. Alonzo marveled at the little boy's ease and knowledge. He had never stopped to realize how much Uly had learned, or how deep his bond ran with the Terrians. But it was obvious here, with this Terrian that Ulysses Adair's bond with the Terrians ran deep and strong. The creature seemed reliant on Uly, as a child would be a parent and through their mutual connection to the earth he could feel the Terrian calming, now that he was no longer alone. Hopefully, it would be enough that the dreams would cease and they would be able to unite this creature with the nearby tribe.
Alonzo heard footsteps bouncing off the walls of the chamber, so disorienting that there was no way to tell which way they were coming from. His mind dashed away from the pain this caused.
"Mom!" Uly called out, drawing Alonzo's attention back. "Julia! We're over here."
He shifted, this time unconscious of the pain it caused. He opened his eyes to see Julia leaning over him. She looked so beautiful, like an angel in the warm orange glow.
"Julia," he breathed.
"Shh," she said. "You're all right. Everything is going to be all right now."
Under the reassurance of her care, his eyes drifted closed.

"He's going to be fine," Julia told the others, as she finished bandaging his wound and handed the roll of bandages to True. Alonzo was fading in and out of consciousness but her dia-glove had told her he was stable. But had they taken any longer. . . .
Her hands trembled as she replaced her scissors and gauze padding back into her med kit. That was as close to losing him as she ever wanted to come. The blood loss had not been too great, but it had been enough.
Behind her, Devon breathed a sigh of relief. "He'll need rest," Julia said. "He's going to be weak for the next few days. He should be all right to move, so we can take him back to camp."
"No," Alonzo's hoarse voice interrupted her, his hand suddenly gripping her wrist, with surprising strength.
"Alonzo," she tried. "We can't stay here." "I'm not going anywhere until this is finished," he told her, his conviction stronger than she had ever seen it.
A quiet trilling sound, which had been going on since they had arrived, but which she had tuned out, suddenly filled her ears. She turned to see the Terrian crouched in the corner next to Uly. Devon stood next to Danziger straining against his grip on her arm, which was keeping her from interfering with what her son was doing. To Julia's ears the creature sounded mournful. *Was he feeling remorse for hurting Alonzo?* she wondered. Uly was talking to the Terrian in quiet soothing tones and Julia could only stare open mouthed. She had never seen Uly like this. He was Terrian. There was no mistaking it. All her test, and DNA experiments could never have told her as much as seeing this scene.
"He's. . ." Julia stuttered. "Is he teaching that Terrian?" Julia asked. Alonzo nodded. "I never really thought about it before but I think the Terrians learn in the same way we do. I always kinda thought they just popped out of the earth, just like that. You know, fully formed." He coughed. "It never occured to me that they have to be taught. They learn from the other Terrians in their tribe. But this guy never got that chance."
Julia turned to look at the Terrian again, seeing Uly sitting with him. It was an amazing sight. Two species communicating, learning.
"We have to take him out of here, with us," Alonzo told her, drawing her attention back. "He has to be taken to that other tribe."
"But how?" Julia asked. "He attacked you when you got too close for his liking."
"Uly," he croaked. He swallowed hard and tried again. "Uly is telling him. Trying to help him understand that we don't want to hurt him. I think he's succeeding. If he is we can walk this Terrian out of here with no trouble."
True was sitting next to Julia, busying herself with returning everything to it's proper place in the med kit. Julia could see her big brown eyes shifting anxiously between everyone and then to her friend, Uly.
"I'll just get you some water, Alonzo," True offered and stood. "What about that tribe?" Devon asked, sinking down beside him, to the spot True had occupied.
"They'll be waiting for us at the top of the ridge, just outside." Alonzo shifted wincing, and Julia's stomach muscles constricted in sympathy.
"No, don't try to move," she told him, laying her hands on his shoulders, gently forcing him back down. She smoothed down his hair, smiling down on him.
"I'm sorry, Julia," he said.
True handed Julia the water flask then moved away quietly. Julia could hear Devon and John moving away to give them privacy. She offered Alonzo a drink and he gratefully accepted it.
"Sorry, for what?" she asked, her face lowering to his, wanting to feel the brush of his breath against her skin.
"For begin stupid," he said. She tired to quiet him, but he continued, "I guess that insurance policy of yours didn't work." He forced a tight smile, for her benefit.
She laughed quietly, not really feeling the humor of his words. "I haven't lost you and I don't intend to lose you," she told him, leaning closer to gently kiss him on the lips. She pulled back. "I think I know why you fell for me."
"Why?" he asked. She was heartened to see a sparkle in his eyes. "Being the reckless fly-boy that you are, you needed someone to patch you up every time you got into trouble."
"No, that's not it," he replied, his hand rising to cup her cheek. "Then what?" she asked.
"Do you think I could look into those gorgeous eyes of yours and not want you?" he whispered.
Her mind suddenly went blank of everything but his warm brown eyes and the feel of his hand on her cheek. "Alonzo," Uly's voice broke through to them and Julia turned surprised to see True standing with him and the Terrian. "I think we're ready to go now."
" 'Kay," Solace muttered, trying to sit up. Julia grabbed his shoulders, staring at him wide eyed. "You aren't going anywhere."
"I have to," he insisted. "You told me yourself that I'm going to be fine." She shook her head but he persisted. He was more stubborn than she, amazing as that possibility was he would wear her down and always had.
"Just help get me on my feet," she said with a groan. Danziger was already at Alonzo's back, propping him up. Julia bit down on the fear she felt. If they moved Alonzo they could reopen the wounds she had just closed up. And if he lost more blood there would be nothing they could do for him. And God help them all if she tried to stop Alonzo. He probably get up on his own and walk out of the caves, ignoring the pain. Her best option now was to do her best to secure him, cutting down on his possibility of reinjury. With the help of Danziger, Julia carefully lifted Alonzo.
Devon was standing by the entrance to this chamber watching her son. Uly and True were standing in front of the Terrian, they looked almost comical with their gestures urging the creature to follow them. It seemed intrigued by the pair of children and slowly rose and joined them. Uly trilled to it the whole time.
"Alonzo, do you know what he's saying?" Julia asked. "I think he's been telling the Terrian about the other tribe that wants to take him in." Alonzo swallowed hard and drew in a tired breath.
"How did he get him to stop dreaming to us all?" Danziger asked. "Uly gave him a little lesson in the basics of the dream plane." Devon swiveled staring at Alonzo disbelieving. Her fear, projected from her eyes assaulted Alonzo. The other three were at a loss for words.
"Come on," Alonzo urged. "Let's get moving. Uly?" The boy turned to look at Alonzo. "Can you get him to come with you now?"
"No problem," Uly said proudly and they left this dark lonely chamber and headed out of these tunnels.

The group reached the ridge and were greeted by the sight of seven Terrians, standing in a curved line, staffs stretching up over their heads. The humans could only stare in return. The lone Terrian sank to a crouch, swaying back and forth, keening. It seemed a little scared. Uly stood did nto leave its side, reassuring with a calm voice. And the creature seemed to calm.
Alonzo bit back on the moan but it escaped his lips, drawing the attention of Julia and Danziger. They deposited him in a grassy spot where he watched and eves dropped on the exchange taking place.
With careful movements the Terrian tribe moved to the single creature, encircling him. It seemed such a simple gesture on the surface of it, but to Alonzo it was amazing. The harmony which the tribe was projecting toward the lone Terrian was drawing the creature into what it had been missing all these years, what had been ripped away from it. Alonzo could feel their minds encircling it just as they were with their bodies. The young pilot had never felt anything so wonderful. It reminded him a little of the Terrian bed Mary had shoved him into, when he had truely felt what it was like to be a part of this earth. Through his connection to the creature, Alonzo felt it calm and if joy was an emotions Terrians shared with Humans he was sure that was the feeling he was receiving.
The leader of the tribe stepped forward lifting the Terrian to its feet. The group of six humans watched as the earth swallowed up all the Terrians, taking the outcast back into herself. Alonzo walked slowly, his arm securely looped around Julia as she supported him, to stand over the spot of upturned dirt. Uly slipped up beside him.
"Everything's all right, now," Uly assured them. "Yeah, everything's all right," Alonzo repeated. Julia gave him a gentle squeeze. "Come on, it's finished. Let's get you back to camp."
**This place may not be Paradise, but it comes closer than anything we have found anywhere, out there. The dreams are finished, now and this lonely Terrian has found a tribe, somewhere to belong. Part of me will miss him. . . Felt a connection to him. But he is where he belongs and so am I. And now all of us can get some much needed rest.**
Alonzo Solace
-The End-

Comments and feedback greatly appreciated at: paula.sanders@shawnee.org

This text file was ran through PERL script made by Andy. Original text file is available in Andy's Earth 2 Fan Fiction Archive.