SHATTERED DREAMS, SHATTERED LIVES
By
Rhonda Hallstrom
Timeline: At time of "First Contact" and after
Author's E-Mail: lurker@computek.net or lurker@iglobal.net
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Hello, Earth2 friends! Remember me? Sometimes I lurk a little too well...?
Anyway, I got tired of seeing this on my list of 'incomplete stories' so I finished it! I apologize for the delay and the quality - I admit it's not my best. But I tried! At any rate, it is DONE!!!
I would not be at all surprised for anyone to remember so I am reposting the whole thing. To refresh your memories, this is a "what if" - a tale for an alternate dimension or whatever you want to call it. It's "what if Elle had married John instead of taking that doomed space walk?" Hope you like.
BTW, permission is given for any archivists who want to add it to their Earth2 fanfic web pages. And many thanks are given to my beta-readers Inga, Paula Sanders (remember, Paula? <g>), Susan McNeill, Barbara Eickhoff and Liz Gregg!
Enjoy!
Rhonda, the Lurking Grendler!
SHATTERED DREAMS, SHATTERED LIVES (1/4)
by Rhonda HallstromThe auburn-haired woman waited in front of the transport pod as best she could. She had always known the Adairs to be insane, but now they had put her family's life in danger! She was NOT pleased, to say the very least! She swore a few oaths as she caught herself from falling when the deck threatened to come up around her.
*I knew it!* she thought. "I knew I should have found her myself!* She suppressed an urge to bellow at her husband, knowing such a distraction would only slow him down.
Suddenly, something loomed up from around the corridor and crashed right into her, propelling her into the cargo pod. She looked up from the floor to see Morgan Martin, the insufferable bureaucrat, and his attractive wife in tow. She tried to summon a breath for some of her best oaths, but the wind was knocked out of her. At least she seemed relatively uninjured from the collision.
Martin's next action was completely incomprehensible, even for an insufferable, cowardly bureaucrat. He was releasing the pod from its moorings!!
Down the hall, her husband, with their daughter in his arms, ran toward the pod opening, yelling, "NO! WAIT!!"
Martin's wife was whimpering something about dying and her inability to fasten her seat straps.
The woman summoned all of her strength to dive for Martin to wrestle him away from the controls or to jam the controls temporarily or maybe just to kill Martin. But it was too late. The door slid shut between her and her family.
Her husband's look of horror was the last thing that Elle Danziger saw as the pod resolutely disconnected and began its' plummet to the surface. Elle frantically dived for a seat and strapped herself in. Underneath Bess Martin's terrified scream, she muttered to Morgan Martin, "You're a dead man."
Bess Martin's eyes were closed on the impact with the ground. For a moment, everyone was so jarred, they just sat there, unable to believe their good fortune that they were alive. Silence permeated the pod and everyone seemed reluctant to break it.
Bess wiggled her fingers experimentally and flexed a few muscles. She seemed to be in one piece. "Morgan?" she asked into the darkness. For some reason, she was afraid to open her eyes.
Out of the quiet, she heard a metal scraping and a loud thud. She opened her eyes quickly to see the strange woman standing over Morgan, who was cowering with a hand over one eye.
"Hey!" Bess yelled at her in protest as she struggled to undo her straps.
Morgan was trying to use his long arms to keep the woman away but she was too fast. She kept hitting him around the head, shoulders, and arms, then began kicking him with her feet. "You left my family, you &^%$!!!!" the woman was screaming.
Bess, finally untangling herself, sprung at the woman and tried to drag her away from Morgan.
"She's crazy!" Morgan screamed back at the woman, who was doing a fairly good job of squirming out of Bess's grip. "The pod broke away!!"
"LIAR! LIAR!" the woman screamed at him.
"STOP IT!!! STOP IT, BOTH OF YOU!!!" Bess screamed at them and placing herself between them. "STOP IT!!" Both Morgan and the woman paused to catch their breath. Bess took advantage of the momentary silence. "Our first order is survival!" She turned to the woman. "Your family probably took another pod; it WAS an accident! And there's nothing that can be done about it now!" The last sentence was completely irrefutable. The woman dropped her fists. Bess smiled comfortingly. "I'm sure your family is all right. Now, we have to work together. I'm Bess Martin and this is my husband Morgan." Bess waited expectantly for the woman's name.
She looked at Bess, nearly smiled, then looked over at Morgan. Her features grew hard once again. "I'm getting out of here," and neatly sidestepped Bess to open the hatch.
Bess sighed. At least she wasn't hitting Morgan anymore. She sat down next to Morgan, who was rummaging in a pack for something. "Morgan, honey," she crooned, "are you okay? Morgan?"
"...once I find out her name," Morgan was uttering, "I am going to press charges...assault on an deputy secretary...." He found his recorder, then realized he needed a name to do anything. He dropped the recorder back in and rummaged for something else as he asked, "Am I bleeding, Bess?"
"No, sweetie," Bess assured him. She winced as the bright light from the open door flooded the small pod.
Morgan brought out a pocket mirror and began an intense examination of his face. "I think a tooth is loose," Morgan complained.
The woman was already doing a casual reconnaissance when Bess could finally coax Morgan to leave the pod. Bess drew in her breath sharply as she surveyed the new surroundings. It was beautiful! It was even more than she had imagined. It was different to be born and raised on Earth. Bess and her friends had made a game of imagining the earth as it was--seeing who could paint the most vivid picture of a growing, thriving planet full of life instead of the death they faced daily. The game they played was partly why Bess felt she was still a happy person, full of hope. She felt that if she could imagine such a world, it must exist. And now, she was face-to-face with her dream.
"Oh, Morgan, honey," Bess breathed. "LOOK at it! It's so beautiful."
Morgan, to make his wife happy and to take his mind off of the brutal attack, looked around obligingly. Actually, he didn't really understand what made Bess so happy. It WAS pretty, with the scenic mountains that resembled the holos he had seen in history, the leaves were really green, and the sky a peaceful powder-blue. The sun warmed his face and, for a flicker of a moment, smiled with full understanding. Then reality rushed in like a wave. They were abandoned, with hardly any food, water, supplies and worse, a crazy woman was with them and no one to call for help.
"Bess," Morgan said, "what are we going to do?"
Bess favored her husband with a withering glare for destroying her vision with reality as the mysterious woman walked up, sensors in hand.
"Anything here?" Bess asked her.
"Why are you talking to her?" Morgan hissed. "She assaulted me!"
"Nothing yet." the woman said.
*Apparently, the woman is a tech or some such, with the way she handles that machinery,* Bess thought.
The woman strode back to the pod. As she approached, Morgan unconsciously stepped on the other side of Bess. The woman completely ignored him as she spoke to Bess.
"I'm getting a homing signal to the east," she said. "Probably another life pod or cargo pod. This thing has terrible range, though. The way to go is probably west."
"Why!?" demanded Morgan. "A signal probably means people!"
As if speaking to a small child, she still did not speak directly to Morgan as she said, "New Pacifica is on the west coast. That's where everyone will be going. That is where people will be, for certain. If we go east, we may waste a lot of valuable time, discovering dead people or no people at all. We're going west."
Finishing the packing, Morgan whispered to Bess, "We don't have to do what she wants! She is not in charge! She won't even tell us her name!"
"Morgan," Bess mused, ignoring the ranting as she packed, "do you know who her family is? Wasn't she calling to someone as we disconnected?"
Morgan didn't really want to think about when the pod disconnected, but found himself thinking about it, since it might be a clue to the woman's identity. Finally, he had to shake his head at his wife. "She was standing in the way of the window," he confessed. "I couldn't see who she was talking to."
"I was too scared to notice," Bess said.
When the woman came back, Morgan rose to his feet.
"Morgan!" Bess cautioned with a hand on his arm.
He shrugged her hand away. "Look, Miss-High-and-Mighty!" Bess sighed and shook her head. "You may like your own way, but you've got two other opinions here that don't agree you're the Boss! I looked; that eastbound signal isn't that far away. We should go there first!"
The woman looked at him and turned around without a word to go back inside the pod for more supplies.
"Hey!" Morgan said. "She just ignored me!"
"Let it go, Morgan," Bess said.
A half an hour later, the woman walked out. She had fashioned some kind of backpack and was carrying two small-to-medium size boxes under her arms. She stopped to look at Bess. "Good luck," she said. She looked witheringly at Morgan once more, then began walking to the west.
Both Bess and Morgan were too shocked to comment.
Finally, Morgan said, "We're going east."
Bess sighed. "Yes, Morgan," she said, wondering if they would ever see the mysterious woman again.
As the Martins trekked on, the louder Morgan's complaints got. To stave off his complaints, Bess carried more and more of the boxes. She was relieved beyond belief when they happened to stumble into Devon Adair's camp.
John Danziger looked all over for his daughter and finally found her in the last place he thought to look for her: their tent. She was sitting on the edge of her cot, staring down at the floor. John frowned as he knelt beside her.
"True?" he asked. He felt her forehead; she didn't seem to have a fever. She shrugged away from his touch. Now getting alarmed, he said, "What is it, baby?"
"Mommy," she said in a quiet voice.
"Oh, sweetheart," John said. He sat next to her and, in one smooth motion, lifted her onto his lap and held her. "I'm sorry, baby," he said. *This is bad,* John thought. *True calls Elle "Mommy" less than she calls me "Daddy."*
True laid her head on her father's broad chest. "I thought...when I saw....the other people...that Mommy would be with them."
"I know, baby," John said. "Me, too."
He held her for a while, but True didn't cry. She just sat there. Finally, she said, "Mommy's dead, isn't she?"
"I don't know, True," he said. "I saw her in that other pod, remember? I just didn't see who was with her because your mommy was standing in the way. But she was IN a life pod, True. She's GOT to be alive."
"If she made it down to the planet," True said.
"We have to believe that she did," John told her firmly. In his heart, though, he wondered if he was saying the right thing. Should he be preparing True for her mother's death? The trouble was, HE didn't want to believe it.
"Are you sure, Daddy?" True asked.
Dammit. These are the times when he hated to be a parent. And now he had to do it all alone. What should he tell her, what HE wanted to hear or the truth? John closed his eyes, trying to think of something to say.
"Daddy?" True asked again.
He opened his eyes and looked at True's earnest, innocent face. With a pain in his soul that he would never be able to describe, he said quietly, "There doesn't seem to be a very good chance, True-girl. Baby, we may have to be realistic. Hopeful, but realistic. I know it doesn't sound possible to do both, but can you try?"
"I'll try, Daddy," True said.
Father and daughter held each other for a long time, grieving in their own way. Both missed the Martins' tale of how their pod accidentally disconnected.
Much later that evening, John Danziger shuffled out of his tent, feeling like he wanted to die.
He leaned up against the nearest tree near the perimeter and sat down heavily. He felt...empty. He had just watched his beloved daughter cry herself to sleep and wished he could do the same but he couldn't. He felt...dead. But he knew he had to go on, for True's sake.
*Oh, God...Elle,* he thought in misery, burying his head in his arms. The tears still refused to come, accentuating his pain.
He heard a nearby crunch and looked up into Walman's concerned face. Walman didn't want to butt in, John could tell, but he wanted to help, too. John appreciated the effort.
Walman, unable to find the words, finally sat down next to John. The two friends studied the deep, dark woods, still hoping that somehow Elle would walk out, unharmed. Finally, John couldn't stand the silence. "So, what's with those two?" John asked woodenly, his head inclining towards the new tent set off into the distance.
Walman snorted. "Wouldja believe the government liaison and his wife?"
"Great," John muttered. "Just what we need."
"The wife's a looker," Walman mused, "but the liaison...." Walman just finally shook his head in disgust.
"So there was no one with them, right?"
"There WAS someone with them."
John snapped his head up to look at Walman.
"Forget it, Danziger, it wasn't Elle."
"How do you know?"
"Martin said it was a complete psycho who attacked him and his wife until he finally drove her away when they landed."
"A psycho?"
"Yeah, that woman was totally out of her head. Elle is the most stable person we know."
"Yeah, but...."
"John," Walman said firmly, "it wasn't her. You have GOT to accept it. For True's sake."
"...yeah...."
Silence fell once more.
SHATTERED DREAMS, SHATTERED LIVES (2/4)
by Rhonda Hallstrom(NOTE: This part, and subsequent parts, takes place immediately after "Redemption" and before "Moon Cross.")
They stood there, studying the ZED, until John Danziger finally stirred out of paralysis. "I'd better get rid of this," he said, reaching for him. He was shocked when a slim hand reached out to press against his midsection. He tried not to gasp but failed; he was still sore and tender there after his operation.
Julia withdrew her hand. "I think that proves you're in no shape to be standing, much less wrestling with a deceased ZED. You aren't, either," she said to Alonzo, who was beginning to approach the ZED. She turned to Devon. "Would you please ask Walman? I don't think he'd listen to me."
"Julia's right," Devon asserted. "Danziger, you and Alonzo go to your tents so Julia can treat you. I'll find Walman and Morgan to take care of the ZED." Everyone turned in unison to look doubtfully at her when Morgan Martin's name was mentioned. Devon looked back coolly and squared her shoulders with determination. "It'll be good to give him something to do."
Morgan Martin complained all the way there and back but he did help bury the ZED as Devon supervised the job. She had to admit, if only to herself, that she was still not quite sure that it wouldn't suddenly just get up and start shooting people again. She had to see it buried where it wouldn't do any more harm.
Devon returned to the camp and quickly peeked in on Alonzo. He was fast asleep - in fact, he was snoring slightly, bringing an amused smile to Devon's face. She quietly walked toward Danziger's tent. She was more worried about John Danziger. The worm bullet came closer to killing him than it did for anyone else. Also, she was afraid that she had caused him further injury by being the one to operate on him when she hadn't the slightest idea what she was doing! They had had no choice, but still....
She peeked into the Danzigers' tent. John and True were in their respective cots, apparently fast asleep. Devon turned to leave when she heard a soft whisper.
"Adair?"
She turned back and, as quietly as she could, tiptoed into the tent and knelt down next to John's cot. "What are you still doing awake?" she whispered back, brushing some of his hair out of his eyes.
John tried to shift his weight to a more comfortable position. "Julia didn't give me a normal sediderm dose. She was afraid I would O.D. with the painblock already in my system. It's okay," he assured her, "I'll go to sleep in a minute. I just wanted to say-"
Incredibly-blue eyes met incredibly-blue eyes in a gaze that seemed to connect like lightning...and then, it was gone.
"-thanks," John finished.
Devon closed her eyes momentarily, thinking about how they nearly lost him three times now and how she would feel if...."Go to sleep," she said as she nearly bolted for the exit before she got into trouble.
The next person she had to check on was Julia. She found her checking Yale's condition. Yale was fast asleep, too.
"How is he?" Devon asked.
"Fine," Julia said, changing the dressing on Yale's wound.
Devon watched her, noting the dark circles slowly beginning to form under her eyes and her movements becoming less precise and more...desperate? "Julia," Devon said, "you should get some sleep. You're injured, too."
"I took a bone healer vaccine, unlike Alonzo," the doctor said. "I'll be fine tomorrow."
"It's not tomorrow."
"Well, technically, it is...."
"Julia," Devon said, getting in Julia's way so she would listen, "you don't have to prove anything anymore."
"Yes, I do," the young doctor told her matter-of-factly.
Devon lowered her gaze. While it was true that Julia had acquitted herself and much more by her heroic actions against the ZED, there were others who still doubted her. Ultimately, the more Julia continued to prove herself, the better it would be. Still, there was such a thing as going too far. "You've seen to Danziger, Yale, and Alonzo," Devon said firmly, leaving no room for argument, "You have a broken arm - you need rest. Go to bed now! You can start fresh in the morning."
"I'd still rather work," Julia said faintly.
Devon frowned. Even she could see that Julia was exhausted and looked like she was about ready to drop. *Of course!* Devon realized. *The last time she went to sleep, she woke up alone.*
Devon gently took Julia's uninjured arm and steered her firmly to the medical tent. She began literally tucking Julia in, not allowing the doctor to protest. Once Julia was settled, Devon dragged a chair over to sit by her. "I understand," she said sympathetically, taking the young doctor's hand. "I give you my word, Julia. We won't leave you again. EVER."
Julia, reassured, closed her eyes and slept.
The next day, after Julia disposed of the VR com and the Council once and for all, was a busy one. They had lost a lot of time and the injured members still were not up to full speed. Julia's arm, because of the late hour it was broken, required the full 24 hours to heal completely, thus making it extremely difficult to pack one-handed. Danziger was threatened to not push himself too hard while Yale and Alonzo was forced to favor their injured limbs more than they would have liked.
At long last, they were once again moving towards New Pacifica...not noticing the slim hand that picked up the discarded VR com to the Council. It had landed in a clump of bushes and it was obviously still in working order. Curiously, the person activated it.
"Greetings, citizen," it said.
When Devon called a halt for the day, everyone was thankful and made a camp record in setting up the tents so that they could relax. Devon had to smile at their efforts and made an effort to try to thank each member personally as she inspected the camp.
Finally, she came to Danziger, who had taken it upon himself to take the position of perimeter guard at the edge of camp.
"Don't you ever relax?" she asked rhetorically as she surveyed the terrain beyond with trepidation. She wasn't looking forward to figuring out a way to get past those mountains up ahead. They weren't as steep as they could have been but they looked bad enough.
"I'll relax when you relax," Danziger countered, holding the Mag-pro upright against his leg.
"_I_ haven't been wounded-" Devon began when John cut her off.
"Give it a rest, Adair," he said with a halfway smirk to tone down his rebuke. "I'm FINE."
"Fine," she said crisply. *Fine,* she repeated to herself. *If he wants to be that way, then fine-* Just then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw a glint of metal.
Danziger was already moving, Mag-pro charged and held into position.
"Perimeter alert!" yelled Devon as John instinctively took position in front of her.
The others came running, including, unfortunately, the children. Devon, with a fierce wave of her hand, indicated that they should hang back. Bess then took initiative and dragged the children back a little ways while Walman joined Danziger with his charged Mag-pro.
"What was it?" Walman asked. "Did you see it?"
Danziger's only response was a quick jerk of the head as a negative and inched forward, ready to protect True and the camp with his life. Devon reached out a hand to try to caution him but the hand dropped to her side as she realized the futility of it.
Yale's voice suddenly came out of the darkness, startling everyone. "Hold your fire....we are coming out."
Devon frowned at the 'we' as she craned her neck to get a better look. Yale broke free from the confinement of the trees, holding onto the arm of a young woman with short-cropped hair.
Danziger exhaled sharply. Devon turned slightly to him, wondering what was wrong. He seemed paralyzed, frozen in his tracks. Devon, realizing that Danziger knew the woman, was about to ask when suddenly asking for identification became unnecessary.
"MOMMMEEEEE!" True shrieked, as she launched her body forward into the woman's arms.
At the campfire, the Danzigers had melted into one unit, it seemed. John and Elle were sitting so close, there wasn't any visible space between them. True was on their laps, snuggled in as close as she could get.
John still wore the half-stunned expression he had adopted since they found her. *It is rather amusing, in a way,* Devon thought. *So why don't I feel amused?"
"We can't express the relief we all feel that you are all right...." Devon trailed off. Calling her Elle seemed too casual and presumptuous. Calling her Mrs. Danziger seemed like she was speaking to John's mother.
Elle noticed the other woman's awkwardness. "Elle," she supplied helpfully. "Thank you."
"Elle," Devon finished with a smile.
"No thanks to some OTHERS who shall remain nameless," Elle continued, looking sideways at Morgan.
"Well, how was _I_ supposed to know-!"
"You took off with-!"
"If you weren't such a-!"
"Excuse me," Yale's firm voice rose above all the others. "Martin has confessed that he released the pod out of sheer terror - I'm sure you can understand that, Elle."
Morgan frowned; he didn't like being called a coward but couldn't fight the facts that he did indeed release the pod on purpose.
"What was done is over with," Yale continued. "And you are all together now."
A moment of silence reigned as they tried to figure out how to lighten the mood. Finally, Elle grinned. ""Well, I want to thank you all for taking care of this big lug," she said as she squeezed John around the waist, taking care not to disturb True, "and my baby." She stroked True's hair. Her features then took a faint mischievous air. "Or do I have it the other way around?" John rolled his eyes in mock embarrassment as the others laughed.
Devon listened to the banter distantly. Something was wrong. She knew it. She just wished she knew what it was.
After the good nights had been said, John and Elle walked into their tent together. John felt strangely terrified - this was his wife, for God's sake! He felt like a teenager on a first date. He breathed a sigh of relief that Bess had considerately offered to take True for the night.
Elle, seemingly nonplussed, walked to the cot, found True's comb and began combing her short hair. John walked over, took the comb out of her hands and stroked her dark hair with his hands. "You know," he murmured, "you could grow your hair out again."
Elle looked up at him. "John Danziger - is that all you can think about now?"
He sat down next to her, took her hands and kissed her. Soon, Elle's hair length was completely forgotten.
Julia was worried. For the past few days, Devon seemed on edge. She snapped at Uly a number of times, which was completely out of character. She also seemed distracted and irritable in general. In their small camp, the word spread quickly and most people managed to avoid her. The only people who seemed safe from Devon's mood was Yale. Julia was certain that was because Yale probably wouldn't put up with it without an explanation. Also, Julia noticed that Devon seemed to be avoiding the Danzigers, all three of them, unless it was camp business. She frowned; it was high time she talked to Devon.
Devon was so busy re-adjusting her count for food and supplies to account for one more person, she didn't see Julia walk over to her and stand behind her. Julia watched her for a while. It was also unusual that Devon did not notice her presence. Julia studied her friend. *Why, she's in pain!" Julia realized. Why had it taken her so long to notice? Without hesitation, Julia stepped up to Devon's side.
"Hi, Devon," Julia greeted.
Devon held up a finger for silence, still counting silently.
"Devon, I have to talk to you," Julia persisted.
Devon held up her hand, pleading for silence as she continued counting. Julia looked into her eyes, which communicated something else.
Julia frowned. She really hated to get tough but then again, this was Devon's mental health at stake. Devon would find excuses until eternity if Julia wasn't firm. She took a deep breath and positioned herself between Devon and her lists. "This can't wait," she said in her firmest doctor voice.
That finally got through. Devon's maternal instincts took over as she felt a flutter of fear that someone could be hurt. "What is it?" she asked Julia.
Julia sighed, relieved she finally had Devon's attention. "Not here," Julia said, and begin to walk into the woods, looking briefly if Devon was following her.
Devon, after a moment of confusion, scanned the camp to make sure all was in order and followed Julia. Confused, she followed Julia in a distance well away from the camp. Finally, Julia stopped. A little miffed, Devon demanded, "Julia! What is going on? There's no emergency out here!"
"There IS an emergency," Julia said.
"What?" Devon exclaimed, with a bit more exasperation than was needed.
"You," Julia said softly. Devon looked at the doctor incredulously. "You have been on edge for days, Devon," Julia continued. "To a casual observer, you are in a really bad mood. To a doctor, you look like you're in pain."
Devon shook her head. "I can't believe you brought me out here for this. I have work to do!"
"You can't get work done if your people are avoiding you!" Julia pointed out. In a more softer tone, she said, "Devon, let me help you. What is wrong?" Devon cast her eyes downward. Julia approached her. "Does it have something to do with Elle...Danziger?" she asked.
Devon looked up. "Why did you say that like that?" At Julia's confused look, she elaborated. "You said 'Elle...Danziger'. You have trouble thinking of her familiarly, too. It's hard to think of her as just 'Elle'."
"That can't be what's bothering you," Julia said. "Of course, we're going to feel awkward for a while. A new person always....Or is it because she is John's wife?"
"What does that mean?" Devon snapped. Julia looked at her pointedly at her tone. Devon took a deep breath, raised her hands to indicate an apology, then continued in a milder tone. "I can't be any more pleased that she's been found. John and True have missed her tremendously." Julia continued to look at her, knowing that that wasn't it. Flustered, Devon continued, "Besides, she looks out for Uly as well as True, another mechanic is always a help...."
Julia stood in front of Devon, her expression stern. They stood there quiet for what seemed to be forever.
"WHY CAN"T I BE HAPPY FOR THEM!?" Devon burst out. Julia made a move toward her, but Devon turned away, examining the flora. In a calmer tone, she asked, "Why, Julia? When I look at them, I only feel...I don't know...."
"Yes, you do," Julia prompted softly.
"I'm not happy for them," Devon repeated helplessly. She wrung her hands; she was usually so in control of her emotions. "Why IS that?!"
"John hasn't argued with you since she got here," Julia mused out loud.
"So you're saying I'm jealous?" Devon challenged. "She is his WIFE! Why would I be jealous of his wife?" Julia came closer to Devon and placed a comforting hand on her arm. Devon spun around to face her. "Am I so petty? So...so...lonely...?" Devon's voice broke. Holding the tears back, she allowed Julia to hold her to comfort her.
In her ear, Julia asked, "Is that all of it?"
"No," Devon whispered and let the tears come.
Devon was proud of herself. She carried on with the evening activities without a hint of her earlier distress. She made sure to hug Uly and apologize to her son for being such a grouch. She also pasted a smile on her face that fooled everyone except for Yale.
"You are not fooling me, Devon Adair," he muttered softly as he past her at one point. Devon ignored this.
*This is ridiculous,* Devon thought. *I just have to get to know her, that's all.* Danziger had left word with Baines as to where he and Elle would be. *That's a change,* Devon thought with surprise. She walked to the specified clearing.
John, Elle, and True were cavorting in the clearing, obviously using some program in VR. Frankly, they all looked ridiculous but they looked so HAPPY. Devon stood, watching the family. At several points, John unknowingly mimicked Devon, standing to the side, and watched his wife and daughter play. It looked to Devon that he had finally recovered from his shock. Then either Elle or True would notice him and he would be dragged into play again.
Devon swallowed hard and walked back to the camp.
"All right, back to business, folks," Devon announced that evening at the campfire. "We are going to have to climb those mountains. It's probably not going to be as hard as we think." Most of the tech people looked at each other, then at Devon, dubiously. "All right," she said, resigned, "It IS going to be hard, and we are going to do everything we can to prepare for it," Devon continued. "That's why we need initial scouting parties to find the optimum pass through the mountains. We've already mapped out their locations and probable course. But we won't know which one is the best until we go there."
"Hey, Boss," Danziger said. "How many to a team?" Elle looked a question at him, but John didn't notice.
Devon sighed inwardly. She should have guessed. Unfortunately, she had to give John the answer she didn't want to give. "Two."
The teams were quickly formed, predictably beginning with John and Elle.
Devon tucked Uly in with a kiss, then went outside to breathe the night air. Yale was standing there, waiting for her. Yielding to the inevitable, she walked over to him.
"Are you ready to tell me, Devon?" Yale asked mildly.
"It's not you, Yale," Devon protested.
"I know that," Yale assured her. "I just want to be here for you."
Devon thought her own thoughts for a few moments, simply enjoying the comforting presence of her mentor. She owed Yale so much. When would she be able to pay him back? She mentally shook her head. That had to wait for another day.
"I'm worried, Yale," she confessed.
"About John?" he asked. He felt it was fairly obvious who she was avoiding.
"About Elle," she corrected. She made sure her voice was sufficiently lowered. "Yale, something is wrong - something she said or did was wrong, but I can't put my finger on it! I just...feel it...."
"Would you like me to analyze the conversation and see what I can find?" Yale asked.
Her eyes downcast, she said, "You don't think it would be an invasion of privacy?"
"Not if you are worried about the welfare of the group," Yale answered.
"Then, yes, please do," she said and beamed at him. Yale always knew what to say to make her feel better. "Thank you," she said solemnly. One look at the cyborg told her he knew what he was actually being thanked for. She squeezed his arm in gratitude and went to bed.
After John and Elle made sure True was actually sleeping, Elle took John's hand and began to lead him away from camp. Elle was surprised to see John resisting.
"What's wrong?" she whispered.
"I just don't want to get shot, that's what's wrong," he whispered back. Disengaging himself from her hand, he walked over to the sentry, who happened to be Walman, made sure he was seen and walked back to her, ignoring Walman's knowing grin. He gave her an easy wink, took her hand, and walked into the woods with her.
After a little ways, they stopped. "John," Elle said seriously, "we need to talk."
"Sure, Babe," John said casually. He stepped around her and encircled her with his strong arms. "Mmmm....I love you so much...." he whispered in her ear.
Elle pulled his arms apart gently and turned around to face him. "John, I love you, but we need to talk."
A look of concern crossed his face. "Sure," he said. Looking around quickly, he located a clear place to sit. Once they were seated, he took her hand. "What is it?"
Elle hesitated. "I'm not quite sure how to say this...."
"You can tell me anything!" John told her. "You know that!"
"I know, but...."
"But nothing. YOU are my lady. I'll do anything for you," John assured her. "Now, tell me."
"Is that an order, Chief?" Elle teased.
"Yeah, that's an order," John said, smiling.
Elle took a deep breath. "I'm beginning to think that we should go on ahead of the group."
"What-?"
"Please?" Elle said. John nodded for her to continue. "I know these people are your friends and you've been through a lot with them. But now that we're together...Sweetheart....I just have the unbearable temptation to take True tomorrow morning, find that mountain pass...and just keep going, the three of us." She looked up into John's shocked face. "Oh, John, I'm sorry, what a terrible thing to say! After all they've done for us-!"
"No, no, it's okay," John comforted, as he took her in his arms.
"I was so lonely without you," she confided. "And now that I have you..."
"It's okay," John soothed. "Look, sweetheart, I understand. I've come to know these people so well, I forget you don't really know them at all." He hugged and rocked her for a little while. "These are good people, Elle," he murmured to her. "The best. And this planet can be really beautiful. It'll be okay, I promise."
*Dammit,* Elle thought. *I HATE his stubborn streak. What do I do now?* She leaned toward him so he wouldn't be able to see into her eyes and held him.
SHATTERED DREAMS, SHATTERED LIVES (3/4)
by Rhonda HallstromDevon was NOT looking forward to the mission before them. Those mountains seemed impassible, at least from where they were. Devon's head was filled with questions, doubts, worries and didn't notice Elle and True Danziger until she was almost on top of them.
Mother and daughter were sitting on large rocks outside the camp as True delighted in showing her mother the local flora while relating all that she had missed in her absence.
Devon could hear True's high-pitched exaltations clearly, as usual:
"I was SO worried when Dad got sick!" True related. "I helped Julia with the antidote-" Of course, True knew that she had just carried samples back and forth and watched the machines do their work, but that WAS helping, wasn't it? "She said I had a gift, she said I was a NATURAL...!"
"She did?" Elle said, a hint of doubt creeping into her voice.
"Definitely!" the little girl insisted. "I also helped Dad when he was dehydrated....Julia says she'll recommend me to ANY school I want! Isn't that great!!!!" True looked at her mother, puzzled by the prolonged silence.
Devon was puzzled, too, and could not tear herself away from the conversation despite her best efforts. *Why won't Elle encourage her?* she thought in confusion. She sneaked a peek to see Elle looking at her hands while True studied her mother with a rather hurt expression. *I don't blame her a bit,* thought Devon. *Isn't she going to DO-*
"True...." her mother began. She swallowed nervously and wrung her hands almost abstractly. "True....I don't think...."
"Mom?" True's voice was beginning to get shaky and it sounded like she was getting a bit scared. "What is it? You can tell me, you know...I'm not a little kid anymore."
Elle smiled at that. "Well, that's good, because it's a really hard thing to understand...."
"WHAT is?"
"What I have to tell you," Elle said. Clasping her daughter's hands in her own, she looked into True's eyes. *I'm sorry,* she thought as she took a deep breath to prepare herself. "True," she said, "I don't think Julia's plans for you are a very good idea. I don't think you should become a doctor."
Devon nearly lost her footing in her astonishment. She knew she would have been exultant beyond belief if Uly had given her that same pronouncement. She controlled her urge to hyperventilate as she looked around for Danziger. He was nowhere in sight.
True, meanwhile, sat in shock. "Why?" she whispered.
"Oh, sweetie, honey, baby," Elle crooned, taking her in her arms, "I told you that it was going to be hard to hear...."
"You don't think I'm smart enough?" sniffled True, a few tears beginning to form.
Devon clenched her fists, knowing that it would be difficult, if not impossible, to stride over and DECK the other woman if she didn't come up with the right answer to that question! Fortunately for Elle, she did.
"Oh, no, sweetie! Of course I think you're smart enough! I think you're brilliant! No one learns as quick as you do! All right?"
Devon unclenched her fists and continued to listen.
"Then why-?"
"I'll tell you why," Elle said. "The Council." True looked questioningly at her so she continued. "The Council controls everything, True, especially education. If you tried to become a doctor, they would teach you and then expect you to do what they want, just like they did with Julia. Do you think the Council will let her go so easily?"
"Well-"
"Once we get to New Pacifica, the Council will take control again. And, see, THAT is the advantage WE have." Elle was still speaking softly but the words that followed were enunciated. "NO ONE NOTICES A DRONE!"
Every word fell upon Devon like a hammer. She leaned back against the tree, thoughts paralyzed. She didn't know what to make of this.
Meanwhile, Elle continued. "True, you're every bit as gifted as your father. You're bright, you're talented, you have a trade that will always be in demand, always! Yes, you don't always get your way but you can still go your own way! You can do pretty much anything you want and the Council won't notice because they won't care. They're too stupid to know that a drone can be brilliant. It is a powerful weapon, True. It will save you in the long run. Believe me, *I* know."
"What about school?" True asked tentatively. "It's really boring sometimes..."
"How can you go to school here?...Oh, the Yale program. Yes. I always hated...the idea of those things," Elle mused thoughtfully. "You really don't like it, do you? You do know if you want to be a doctor, you have to have a *LOT* of school...."
True wrinkled her nose in disgust. "The last thing *I* want is more school! So, do I have to keep going?"
"Weeellllll, I'll talk to your dad, all right? Maybe we can cut back some hours-"
Elle's sentence was cut off by True engulfing her in a bearhug. "Thanks, Mom!" True said gratefully. "I sure missed you!"
As mother and daughter embraced, Devon sank to the ground, arms wrapped around her knees. True wasn't her child so why did she feel as though her heart was breaking? Devon just hoped that John Danziger had the sense to turn things around.
A few hours later, Elle and John Danziger were speeding along in the Rail with the others nearby in the other vehicles. Eventually, however, since this was a scouting mission, they all veered off in different directions. Elle unobtrusively breathed a sigh of relief. She was still as yet uncomfortable with the group that John seemed to feel so at home with. She'd worked with the ops crew, of course, but the others....It seemed that John was even tolerating the presence of Adair and the Martins a lot better than she would expect him to.
"I had an interesting chat with True this morning," Elle began tentatively.
"Talk about a little girl that missed her mommy," John responded, rubbing her arm. "We're so glad to have you back, baby."
"I know," Elle sighed, squeezing his arm. The others would scoff at her if she told them that John was a card-carrying romantic but he was. Sometimes, like now, it was virtually impossible to talk seriously with him. "She doesn't like Yale very much."
"She adores Yale," John corrected, "as long as he's not teaching her. It's a great opportunity, though, to get a high-class education for free. It's a chance she may never have again."
"John," she said as they continued their voyage to the reddish mountains, "she really doesn't like it. She doesn't see the point of going and, frankly, neither do I."
John turned and stared at his wife so long, he nearly crashed along an outcropping. Quickly bringing the vehicle under control, he asked quietly, "Don't see the point? Are you kidding me?"
"No, I'm not kidding. What has education ever done for someone besides earn them a spot under the Council's microscope?"
John frowned. "I know it's bad, but, sweetheart....If True has more of an education, she might have possibilities for her future that we can't even dream of. Look at Adair. She-"
Elle couldn't believe he was bringing up Devon Adair. The woman who stranded them here and was responsible for risking all their lives. "The Adairs were born to money," she all but snapped, "They always have and they always will. Besides, money isn't the answer to everything. I bet that Yale unit follows her around everywhere, recording everything she does. She's as much a slave to the Council as the good doctor." John opened his mouth to protest but Elle continued, still piqued. "And while we're on the subject of the Yale unit, *I* still don't think those things are safe. I don't want True around it."
John was struck speechless as he slowed down to traverse the soft clay mountains. He'd never heard such strong emotions about the Council from her. Usually, it was a battle to get her to give an opinion on anything, she was so easy-going. But now...."Take it easy, sweetheart," he told her gently. "We'll only be with them for the time it takes to get to New Pacifica. Then it'll be the three of us again."
"Good." At John's look, she amended, "I'm sorry - I don't like to share you. Especially after I thought you were dead. I guess it's making me a little crazy."
John guided the Rail expertly to a plateau cut in the mountaintop to take a look-see. He brought the vehicle to a halt and gave her a hug before they got out. "I wouldn't worry so much, Elle. I know the history of the Yales just as well as you do and I've been keeping a close eye out. I wouldn't let anything happen to True-"
He was cut off, startled, as Elle lost her footing and slipped in the soft clay. He couldn't help but laugh as Elle, trying to get to her feet, eventually found herself covered in the red clay. "Here - let me....Uuumph!" he exclaimed as Elle yanked him down, too. He found himself on top of his wife, enjoying her amused smile, and wiped the clay from her face. "Everything's going to be all right," he comforted, kissing her, red clay and all.
She kissed him back and held him close.
Hours later, Yale grinned at the sight of John and Elle Danziger, riding back into camp, covered with red clay. He put up a hand to greet them as John brought the Rail to a halt right next to him. "I see," Yale said, "that the mountains are indeed hazardous as we were warned."
"Warned?" John asked.
"Yes," Yale said, his lips twitching in amusement, "the other teams came back in a similar state. The baths have already been set up."
"Thanks, Yale," John grinned warmly. "The Rail is a mess, though."
"The children and the Martins have already been drafted for cleaning them," Yale told him. "You had best hurry to the baths before Morgan Martin sees that you have contributed to his workload."
"Wise idea," John agreed, walking to the baths with one arm around his wife. They were forced to separate as it was obvious that the bathing area was cordoned off into males/females.
Elle entered the women's section tentatively. She would have preferred to bathe alone in the stream but she had already been warned that there was still life on this planet that was still unknown. Maybe some of that life was in the streams lurking under the rocks, just waiting for a curious human to stick her foot in. Elle sighed, longing for the safety of the stations.
Devon Adair saw her and called out, "Come in - the water's fine!"
Elle pasted a smile on her face - not that it was obvious under all the red clay and walked over nonchalantly. Devon was helping Julia wash off the mud in a particularly awkward position to reach behind her neck as Magus reached for more soap. It looked like they were going to need it. Elle started to strip down.
"There's a pile right there for your clothes," Devon pointed out. "We've brought in some jumpsuits - one's sure to fit you."
*The woman just can't help giving orders,* Elle thought, trying not to frown. She tossed the soiled garments with the others but couldn't suppress a sigh of comfort as she sank into the hot water. *Being with the filthy rich has one advantage,* she thought. She had missed this.
She wet her hair and enjoyed the warmth, not even soaping down yet, as Devon and Julia chatted about the Terrians and the properties of the clay. So far, the clay had defied analysis and Julia was frustrated on her progress. Elle listened as Devon consoled Julia yet ordered her to keep trying at the exact same time. She shook her head, marveling at the woman's bossiness. She couldn't believe that John wasn't a total basket case by now.
The Earth-res came in. Elle groped for her name and remembered - Bess Martin. Incredibly, she'd married a government liaison. Elle couldn't help but wonder how that particular incident had come about.
"Well, hello there!" Bess greeted, readying herself for the baths as well. She wasn't covered head to toe like the rest of them but she had a good share of the clay clinging to her clothes. "Uly and True started a clay fight and Morgan got a little irked when we lost," she explained with a grin, getting into the tub.
Devon and Julia smiled in amusement as Elle tried not to roll her eyes. She found the woman to be insufferably perky. *I guess she needs it, being married to government,* Elle thought.
"Ohhhh, I just love this," Bess said, sinking into the warmth of the water. "This is one thing I would've given anything for on the stations."
"You could have if you were rich."
Devon, Julia and Bess all looked at Elle, who looked like she wished that she'd never spoken. Water was a valuable commodity on the stations, never ever to be wasted by heating it and immersing your whole body in it. That was reserved for medical purposes only. There were rumors that the rich could ship water in for their own purposes but it would have caused a riot if anyone found out it was fact.
Taking the offensive, Elle tried to lighten her tone. "Come on, Devon, admit it. You've never had a bath on the stations before in your life? You can do anything with money."
Under the challenging look, Devon looked down. She had indeed enjoyed baths when she was young before she knew of the consequences. Her position in the social structure became apparent one day when she mentioned it casually to another youngster and the word had spread like wildfire. Her father had to go to meetings on that very topic for a month (she had never found out the outcome) and she was ostracized by children and adults alike. Since then, Devon was very careful of what information she divulged and to whom.
Bess filled in the awkward silence. "Well, we have it now and that's all that really matters, right?" She began scrubbing her long hair down as Devon looked at Elle, wondering how she had managed to earn the wrath from the moody tech.
Elle met Devon's gaze with clear, brown eyes and ducked under to wash her short hair. When she came up, Devon fought not to gasp. She knew Elle! She had seen her before! As she rinsed her own hair, she tried to place the woman. She was sure that she had seen Elle in a situation very much like this one. The sense of deja vu was never so strong as it was now. Somehow, all three of the women present provoked it. Devon glanced from Elle with her accusing brown eyes to Bess, rinsing her extremely long hair, to Julia, her blonde hair that seemed dark when it was wet.
"Devon?" Bess asked with concern. "Are you all right?"
The spell was broken. Devon was sure that something had happened but it was obvious that she would not think of it now. "I'm fine," she said, offering a reassuring smile, and continued her bath, thinking.
Much later, Devon was still thinking. And pacing. It seemed like her whole body was geared to the movement of back-and-forth and she could not stop. Turning over the information in her mind. Elle was certainly not what she expected and certainly not a person she thought that Danziger would fall for.
"Devon?"
She started as a quiet but familiar voice caught her attention and looked back to see her cyborg teacher, advisor and friend. "Yale, I know her," she blurted. "I remember seeing her before but just can't remember where!" She clenched her hands briefly in frustration and resumed her pacing. "Yale, there is something very wrong here. Every fiber in my being tells me that."
"Do you think that it is dangerous?" the tutor calmly asked.
"In danger? No...well, not really. I don't know," Devon babbled. She turned to face him. "Yale, did you figure out something?"
"I am sorry, Devon," Yale apologized, "but without some sort of a hint as to what to look for, I am afraid I am at a loss." He came closer to this woman he loved like a daughter. "Devon...are you sure...? Forgive me, Devon, but might you just be...?"
*Jealous,* she completed silently for him, holding up a hand. Did everyone know when even she wasn't sure? "It's more than that. Yale, I need to take you into confidence."
"Of course."
Without further prompting, she related all that she knew. The conversation between True and Elle. The interesting turn of conversation in the baths. Devon's strange, overpowering sense of deja vu. When she was finished, Devon hugged herself, still confused, but Yale frowned thoughtfully.
"That's very good, Devon," he told her. "Now, I have a direction to search. Don't worry, Devon. I should have some information for you very soon. In the meantime, you could be of great assistance to this dilemma."
"Me? How?" she asked.
"Go to John. Tell him-"
"No! I couldn't do that!"
Yale nodded as if he expected such resistance. "All right, then. Simply talk to him. See if he will tell you any information about Elle before they met. Or immediately after their first meeting."
Devon's brow knotted. "How would that help?"
"One never knows," replied Yale cryptically. "But I have...a hunch."
Devon smiled. Yale following a hunch was worth going along with. "I'll try."
Danziger was on watch. His mind was not on his work, but he forced himself to keep guard. He was protecting his family, after all.
His mind drifted to his first memories of this world. Although he was overcome with grief and panic at leaving Elle behind, he had been caught up in the challenge of the new world. Surviving on a planet that they knew nothing about and facing creatures that no one had ever dreamed of. It was a heady feeling to go up against such adversaries and winning. It was a new challenge every day and John felt the battle every time. But they were all still alive and he was beginning to think that nothing could equal it. Then, a new feeling emerged as he cooperated and worked together with these group of strangers. Some he knew a bit, some not at all, and some he thought he hated. Now, he just didn't know what to think.
He knew that he had been through hell and back with these people, giving them all a sense of connectedness with each other. But Elle just didn't seem to fit. She fit with him; he was sure of it. She fit with True. But she still felt like...an...outsider...?
John shook his head violently to clear the thoughts. How in the world could he think that his own wife was an outsider??? Just because she wasn't with them at the onset didn't mean she couldn't fit in with them. John sensed that she didn't want to, though, which was odd to him because she knew half of them and John had given her his assurances on the rest of them. There was still something wrong with Elle that she wasn't telling him and that irked him. As grateful as he was to have found her alive and well, he knew that they were going to have a serious talk. Soon.
Some footsteps drew his focus and he whipped around, nearly managing to shoot Devon Adair. Quickly, he yanked the Mag-pro away from her. "Don't do that, Adair!"
"Sorry." She approached him cautiously. There would probably never be a better time. Devon cleared her throat. "Nothing happening tonight?"
"Just the boss-lady trying to get herself killed is all."
Devon ignored that. "John...I was wondering....You know, it's a funny thing," she laughed, brushing the hair from her face, "but I have the strangest feeling I've seen Elle before but I can't remember. You wouldn't by any chance know if Elle worked on any of my father's stations? Or mine?"
Danziger shook his head. "Impossible. She was working on Earth for a long time until I hired her for a job. Since then, she's been by my side the whole time. We've worked on your stations but never while you were there. Except Eden, of course."
Devon nodded thoughtfully. Delicately, she asked the question that she didn't really want to ask. "John, in the time you've known her, has there been any time, any at all, where you have had unanswered questions about Elle? For example, when you first met her?"
Danziger stared straight ahead, but lifted the Mag-pro slightly. Devon took this as a sign that one more word from her and she might be in serious trouble. For some reason, though, she didn't want to leave John alone just yet. She leaned against the side of the building, nursing her coffee.
What Devon didn't know was that John was remembering....
John Danziger surveyed his crew critically. He knew he was a perfectionist and he was never so glad of that fact on this job. As chief, he had to be everywhere, doing everything that others forgot to do and deal with the paper-pushers too. Well, there was a downside to every job.
*There was an upside to every job, too,* he thought with a smile, as he surveyed the newest member of the team. She had come aboard from Earth and he had had doubts. She was very inexperienced. But she learned quickly and finished any problem that was hers, which was more than he could say for a lot of the others.
"OWWWW!!" yelled his newest crew member.
He quickly walked over to her and knelt down. "What's the problem, Moore?" he asked authoritatively.
She brought her upper body and head out of the conduit carefully. "I'm fine," she said, rubbing her hand.
"Let me see that," Danziger said, and examined the hand. It was smooth, like a real lady's hand, not a drone.
She took her hand back and brushed a long tendril of hair back over her shoulders. "I said I'm fine," she said, smiling to take the sharpness out of the words.
"When are you going to cut that mop off?" Danziger asked her. "It's real pretty but it'll wrap around something and might kill you."
She retied her tight braid that reached to her waist faster than Danziger would have believed possible. "Pretty soon," she said.
Danziger picked up the offending tool. "This is on the wrong setting!" he exclaimed. "Were you using this on the panel? Let me look." Reluctantly, she slid aside so he could have a look. "Well, no wonder you're having problems! It didn't damage the panel any," he said as he slid out, " but one wrong step and you could lose your eyesight!" He reset the mini-laser. "Try that." She took it, biting her lower lip in consternation. "Hey, it's okay. Just stay sharp, okay?"
"Right!" she answered and slid back into the conduit.
Reflecting that incident, John realized that there were several things conflicting with Elle. He had read her service record when he hired her. She was a sharp mechanic, too sharp to make such a dumb mistake about the laser. And her hair! What was the deal with her hair? That one comment prompted her to cut off nearly ALL of her hair into a neat pageboy, which she wore ever since. Most female mechanics he knew preferred to keep their hair short, but since she had seemed to like long hair, he didn't think she would go to such an extreme. And her uncalloused hands!
"Her hair," muttered John out loud, somewhat reluctantly, to Devon. He didn't feel as comfortable discussing the other inconsistencies.
Devon started in surprise. She had thought her question had made John permanently angry with her. "Her hair?" she questioned.
"She had long hair when we met," Danziger explained almost sullenly. "Longer than Bess's. Then she got it all chopped off. I thought she'd only get half of it cut."
Devon pressed her lips together to avoid commenting.
"I guess that's kind of silly," John continued. "Women style their hair different all the time. Right?"
He was babbling. He knew he was. He had this weird compulsion to tell Devon everything. He shut up with an effort.
Alonzo turned over in his sleep, his body not betraying the fact that his mind was elsewhere, in the dreamplane.
Looking at the white sand all around him, he turned to see a Terrian, staring at him. "What is it?" he asked. "Is there something wrong?"
The Terrian trilled and pointed behind him. Alonzo turned to see Elle, standing in a group of Terrians. The sand around her was black and the Terrians looked...diseased, somehow. Ill, about to die.
Alonzo took a step forward but the Terrian erupted from the sand in front of him to prevent him. "What is it?" he asked again. "Are they hurting her? Yes, she's one of us...."
Actually, Elle looked perfectly healthy but the Terrians were rotting more by the second.
"Is she hurting them?"
With that question, Alonzo found himself thrusted out of the dreamplane as he sat up in bed, gasping.
SHATTERED DREAMS, SHATTERED LIVES (4/4)
by Rhonda HallstromAnother day dawned bright and early.
Devon still could not do anything to Elle. She had no proof of any wrong doing and the Terrians had been properly vague, as usual. She instead poured her attentions to the maps as the survey teams pointed out the best and worst routes to take.
"...and this part," Alonzo pointed, "is off limits. The Terrians told me so."
John and Elle frowned but only one spoke up. "Why should that stop you?" Elle asked.
Feeling a precognitive shiver run down her back, Devon asked calmly, "What do you mean by that, Elle? We've always tried to avoid the Terrians' territory whenever possible. This is their planet and we've-"
"That shouldn't mean you have to eliminate a viable route just because the Terrians don't like it," retorted Elle.
Devon sighed heavily as John helpfully tried to intervene. "Sweetheart, it's not worth the trouble. They have lightning sticks of some kind and, if we make them angry, they can cause unimaginable damage to the vehicles and equipment, if not risking our very lives."
"I don't believe you!" Elle exclaimed. "You sound...you sound like the ancient ancestors who were afraid to make a move without the approval of their gods! Besides, there's a very simple way to go past them."
"How?" Alonzo asked curiously. He was wondering if she had been introduced to the world of the dreamplane and knew something he didn't.
"A defoliant."
Julia gasped as half the party looked puzzled. "I don't think that's a very good idea," Julia protested. "This is a very harmonious balance of life here on this planet."
"What's a defoliant?" Morgan whispered to his wife.
Bess, her eyes wide at the turn of conversation, whispered back, "It kills plant life."
Morgan frowned. "Kills? Not freezes? Hm, that's not very profitable-"
Julia continued her argument. "A defoliant could irrevocably-"
"It won't do anything permanent," Elle snapped. "I know, since I've already done it. That's how I'm managed to survive here on the planet by myself for so long. Sure, the Terrians don't like it and can't travel through the earth in the spots that it's been used, but the natural environment will recover in a decade or so."
"A decade??!" Devon and Alonzo exclaimed.
"A decade is not a very long time in environmental terms," Elle told them.
"This planet is a living biosphere!" Julia protested until Devon held up her hand. "Everything interacts together and it could affect our very lives since we eat the native foods-!"
"Oh, nonsense," Elle told her. "We have sterilization procedures for that. It won't affect us at all."
"It WILL affect the Terrians!!"
"That's just how Earth was destroyed!"
Devon held up both hands to silence the sudden hubbub that sprang up around her. Surprisingly, John Danziger himself was struck speechless. "I believe," Devon said, "that we have vetoed that action. Defoliants will not be used on this planet at any time from now on."
"Excuse me, MS. Adair, but you aren't in charge here!" Elle snapped.
"Elle," John said reluctantly. "It's not a good idea. It'll upset the Terrians and they might retaliate - on us. Think of True...."
Elle stared at him for a long time as some of the others, uncomfortable with the argument, melted away, taking it as a sign of a break to get coffee.
"I don't believe you," Elle said softly. "Well, if you don't do it, I will."
"Baby, you won't do that."
"John, our goal is to get to New Pacifica! If that means inconveniencing a few walking zombies, then too bad! It's time someone showed some guts around here!" Elle tore herself from his grasp and stomped outside, followed by most of the people in the tent, unbelieving that she would do such a thing.
John Danziger tried sense once more. "Elle, baby-"
"I'm not a baby, John! Now, help me so we can get on with this trip from hell so we can get off this damn planet!!!"
Devon knew the exact words to stop her but, looking at John, she didn't want to use them. *I am so, so sorry,* she thought to John, hoping one day he would understand. "Dorothy Grant," she called.
Elle froze. Most of the others looked at Devon puzzledly.
"Who's Dorothy Grant?" John asked. He knew Devon well enough to know that she would have a reason.
Painfully, Devon looked at Elle. There would never be an answer coming from her. "We think Dorothy Grant is the woman you married, John," Devon told him.
"What?!"
Elle was now looking at Devon with near hatred. "How dare you?! How dare you make up such awful things about me?!"
"Grant of Grant Industries?" Julia asked. The others' eyes widened in disbelief.
"The very same," Devon confirmed.
"Rumored to have Council connections," Alonzo finished sadly, looking at John with sympathy. "Perhaps even having a seat themselves."
"The multimillionaires?!" Morgan mouthed to Bess. He swayed a little. He was incomprehensible to him that John Danziger could have married into the structure higher than he was himself or could ever hope to be. Bess patted his shoulder abstractly as she listened.
"No way!" John protested.
Devon stepped forward, speaking directly to Elle. "I thought you looked familiar all this time, but I couldn't place you. We were both so young. Then in the baths...well....I remembered you with extremely long, blonde hair. That's what threw me off. But when hair is wet, no matter what the color, it usually looks dark. In the baths, I finally placed you. And there were other inconsistencies. You knew too much about the upper class. Your educational level-"
"Your hands," John broke in. His face was a mask. "And the laser. And your hair-?"
"You probably avoided growing your hair so that your short hair would have the effect it had on me," Devon theorized. "So that the people who had met you wouldn't place you."
"But what happened to the real Eleanore Moore?" asked Alonzo.
"Dead," Yale said. "There was an electrical fire in Eleanore Moore's last known job," Yale continued, looking at John. "There were a few survivors but not many. Moore was never accounted for as a survivor in that fire. However, she turned up-"
"-three months later when I hired her," John finished. He had read the report, too. "But her physical-!"
"'You can do anything with money,' right, Elle?" Devon asked. "I'm sure you could find a surgeon willing to change your distinguishing marks into her distinguishing marks. You hid from your family, right under their noses. 'No one looks at a drone.'"
"Well, none of that matters now," Elle said blithely. "The Council are on their way now."
"WHAT?!!" exclaimed Devon and John in unison.
Elle stared daggers at her husband before responding. "The Council will provide us with a ship to get out of here," she said to John. "AND enough money to start out again. They won't tell my family; we can go our own way again."
"Elle...." John whispered, mortified.
"With that money, True can get a first-class education and I'm sure there'll be enough to buy her a medical school and a hundred cats, if that's what she wants. We can be together-"
"How could you do this to us?" John asked miserably.
"Us? US??" Elle shouted. "Which 'US'"? My 'us' is you and me and True!!!"
"All right, people!" Devon shouted, "We have emergency packing to do! Let's go! Move! Move! Move!" People dispersed quickly to break up camp. Bess had to drag Morgan away. Devon wanted to leave but she had no choice but to remain. "John?" she asked.
"You've changed, John!" Elle charged. "I don't know you anymore! The John Danziger I knew wouldn't call anyone 'Boss' and mean it! He wouldn't ask people for permission to do things every single time he turned around! He put his family first!"
"I DO PUT MY FAMILY FIRST!!" John yelled back at her with such force, she took a step back. "Everything I've done here, I've done for True! And I would have for you, if you would have let me! You've changed, too! You used to let me help you when you needed it! You used to trust me, trust others! What happened to that?!"
"I could never trust others," Elle said quietly. "Not even you."
John's eyes went cold. "All right, then," he said, just as quietly. "The camp is now in danger, thanks to you. I am going to go help them. You can do what you want...Dorothy." He walked away.
"I got along just fine on my own, John Danziger!!" Elle yelled after him. "I didn't NEED anyone like you did!! I did just fine on my own, you hear me!!!"
Yale, who had quietly approached her from the rear, took her arm gently but firmly. "Perhaps," he commented, "you did too well on your own." At Devon's nod, he led her to the medtent, where Julia, who was doing research, could keep an eye on her.
Devon looked after them. *What are we going to do with her?* she thought, *and what's John going to say about it?* She would talk to John now but the safety of the camp had priority. She hurried back to the camp to help.
A few hours later, everyone was busy trying not to trip over each other in their haste to get away. The snow, the cold, and the ice were secondary factors. The Council that had tried to kill them knew where they were.
Devon was busier than ever, answering a million questions at once while trying to plot an escape route, when Julia ran over to her. "Devon!" Julia gasped, trying to catch her breath. "I, I found--"
"Calm down, Julia," Devon said. "Catch your breath." Struggling with the importance of her news, Julia attempted to comply. "Now tell me what's wrong."
Julia shook her head vigorously. "No!" she blurted. "Not what's wrong; what's right!...I mean..." Julia took a deep breath. "We may have found an answer to the Council finding us!"
"What!?" Devon gasped.
"The mud!" Julia practically shouted. "The red clay! It jams sensor readings!" She hastened to explain. "It got all over my table and I was testing it...my sensors went absolutely haywire!!! It's got some properties--"
As usual, Devon's mind was racing ahead. "We cause some kind of explosion to send the red clay in the air to block the Council's sensors?!"
"I know it sounds crazy," Julia said, "but come look in the medtent."
Devon quickly dropped everything to go. Once they got there, they found Magus on the ground, dazed. "I left her to guard Elle," Julia explained as she knelt to check Magus.
Devon dashed into the tent and returned just as quickly. "She's gone," Devon stated. "DANZIGER!" she yelled as she helped Julia pick up Magus.
"I'm okay," Magus stated, swaying a little.
Julia nodded agreement. "It's only a bump; painful but not a concussion. Here," she said as she gave Magus a mild painkiller. Magus shook her head experimentally and walked away carefully to continue packing as Danziger approached.
Devon knew there was no point in beating around the bush. "John," she said, "Elle's escaped."
"So?"
Devon gaped at him. For a brief moment, she thought Danziger might have helped her but dismissed the notion when she thought of the couple's argument. "What?!"
"We've got the camp to worry about, Adair," he said matter-of-factly. "We can't spend the manpower to track her down now."
Devon had to admit he was right. She turned to Julia. "Does Elle know about the clay?" she asked.
"Clay?" Danziger asked.
"Not unless she can get through encrypted files in less than two minutes," Julia replied.
Devon promptly turned to Danziger and filled him in.
That day seemed twice as long to Devon Adair and the New Pacifica crew. The plan was ridiculously simple. Most of the crew stayed behind to continue to move the campsite while the others traveled to the mountainside to create an explosion capable of sending a volume of red clay into the air in a desperate attempt to hide them. They finally settled on sonics.
The harmless sensa-therm had to be recalibrated. No longer was it an instrument used to map the terrain. Now, through sonic waves, it was able to vibrate at such an intensity that it caused the fragile clay to shake and finally collapse under the invisible onslaught of pressure. The crew cheered as the red dust scattered every which way. The gentle winds picked up the soft grannules and carried them for miles, covering the entire area, as the Eden crew scrambled for safety, moving their belongings to the next area, keeping ahead of the Council once more.
Devon was surprised and pleased by their success. They could have just moved the camp but the red dust would be in the atmosphere for weeks, Julia estimated, messing up the Council's sensors, should they move quickly. A good rain would get rid of it all but by then, they would be through the mountain pass, thanks to the explosion that paved a nice passage for them, and far away from the Council's eyes.
Swept on by the urgency, the camp made good time and it wasn't until eight hours of steady travel did they feel they could stop for the night. Everyone was exhausted from the exertion and the stress as they gratefully set up their sets. For once, though, no one complained about the brisk pace that day and no one complained about the necessity to set up evening camp.
Devon thought it was a nice change. The only thing that was left was Elle. She had caught John casting glances at the scenery, probably hoping that he'd catch sight of her but what would happen if he had? She had noticed that John Danziger kept himself and his daughter busy with setting up camp. Once they could find nothing more to do, John had taken his daughter aside, had an extremely short conversation with her (in Devon's opinion, who was keeping an eye on him), and then strode off into the woods, not even bothering to eat.
Not much later, Devon stared at the forlorn figure on the rocks. Her heart ached just as if she was the one injured. She approached John cautiously, knowing that his pain and anger may not be very discriminating at the moment.
When she was about five feet away, Danziger turned his head slightly to acknowledge her presence. She took that as a sign that it was relatively safe and sat down next to him.
After a moment, she said softly, "Are you all right, John?"
He shrugged. Devon supressed the urge to put her arm around him in comfort. She sensed he would not take kindly to being touched at the moment. "Oh, sure," he responded tiredly. "I've been betrayed and lied to by my wife, embarrassed and humiliated in front of my friends, and I'm so out of it, I don't even know where my daughter is. Yeah, I'm great, Adair."
Devon was glad she could at least help him with one of his problems. "I told True that Yale was conducting a special class on animals, especially the cat family. Maybe now, she'll know a kitty when she sees one," Devon smiled, hoping John would smile at the joke. He didn't. She sighed and, deciding to live dangerously, put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "There was nothing you could have done," she said.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
Devon couldn't help but reflect that he sounded exactly like Uly when Uly was convinced that each dark cubbyhole and crevice housed a monster. Yale told Uly fairy tales that put monsters into a more adventurous light. John's monsters were not so easily banished since he carried them with him. Devon didn't think the same tactic would work with him. But except for that, John's and Uly's fears were similar; both were convinced that their world had fallen out from underneath their feet.
Maybe being practical would help. "True needs you," Devon reminded him.
"I know."
"We need you," Devon said. She swallowed hard. Did she really start this out by being practical? For better or for worse, she took the final step. "I need you."
Danziger turned slowly to look Devon right in the eyes. "Just what are you saying, Adair," he stated rather than asked.
Devon tried not to break the impromptu staredown. "I am saying," she said firmly, (*his eyes are so BLUE! STOP that!!*) "that we all need each other; THAT is our strength! You said once that Uly was one of us; well, so are you. You are a part of us." He was still staring into her eyes. She couldn't help herself; her hand reached up to touch his cheek. "And, John, you can NEVER embarrass or humiliate yourself in front of us. You can't! It's not possible. You can't be foolish to those who...love you."
Devon couldn't take it anymore. She leaned forward, snaked her arms under his, pressed his head to her shoulder, and hugged as hard as she could. She began crying, not hacking sobs, but soft, gentle tears that allowed her to express her feelings, her sorrow, her sympathy, and every other emotion that she had experienced in the past weeks. Dimly, she was aware that he was doing the same.
They held each other for a very long time until there were no more tears.
"So, what are you going to do?" Devon questioned gently, stroking his hair softly. "She IS True's real mother, correct?"
"Yeah, and that's the only thing that will prevent me from shooting her when I see her again," John growled, pulling away from Devon's embrace. At Devon's look, he shrugged and shook his head. "You know I don't mean that..."
"I know."
"It's just that...just....Dammit, Adair, if she'd just been HONEST with me!" John stood and began pacing, running a hand through his hair. "I could forgive just about anything. I understand why she lied about her past, I understand why she lied about herself. I even have no doubt in my mind that she loved me. And I loved her. But I can't stay in a relationship without trust. She couldn't trust me...." His voice broke and he fought to get himself under control. "I...I don't give a shit about her real name...any of it. But I can't believe she didn't know me well enough to trust me. I told her everything, damn it! She just couldn't return the favor..."
"She was very scared," Devon stated softly.
"I know," he said, "but do you think *I* was less scared about marriage? I could've helped her keep her secret IF she had told me...if she had trusted me. It all comes down to trust, doesn't it? *I* can't trust anyone - or love anyone - who can't trust me."
"What about True?" Devon asked, more as a curiosity.
"It's not going to be nice to hear for a kid," Danziger said, "but I think it'll be better for True in the long run. Elle and I HAVE changed, both of us, and I don't think we would've had a chance now, anyway."
"I'm sorry for you, John," Devon said. "I'm sorry for your pain. And True's. I wish there was something I could do." She reached out and took his hand in hers. The gesture spoke volumes.
*I think you just did,* John thought. He looked into her blue eyes. A new beginning from a painful end.
<John Danziger's voice:>
Elle, or Dorothy, was motivated by fear every second of her life. She couldn't trust me so she prevented herself from ever belonging. To anyone.
The Terrians found her. They insisted upon inflicting their own personal sense of judgment to her for destroying the environment by taking her own chemicals to make up for the loss. There was nothing we could have done to save her since they told us after the sentence was carried out. I'm not sure what we could have done, anyway. At least, some form of atonement was carried out and Elle's fears were laid to rest forever. True, having thought that her mother had died before, took it much better than anyone expected, although True and I still have a lot of healing to do.
I wondered why she'd want to leave her cushy, rich life for life as a tech. Devon related some of what she went through, living under the Council's eye, but we know that Devon and Julia both survived the process so why couldn't Dorothy? Did she just snap with the pressure? Did she have a plan in mind for a better life, serving a few years as a drone? We'll never know now.
All we can do is to cope with life now as it was. Supporting and helping one another was the only thing keeping us alive. That's what killed Elle and that's what will save the rest of us.
-The End-
This text file was ran through PERL script made by Andy. Original text file is available in Andy's Earth 2 Fan Fiction Archive.