Date: Mon, 01 Nov 1999 20:33:54 +0000 (GMT) From: Callie - Subject: [TALES:1479] Fwd: UEO Gazette - Vol. 1, No. 11 Sender: owner-tales@lists.cc.utexas.edu To: tales@lists.cc.utexas.edu Reply-to: tales@lists.cc.utexas.edu X-Originating-IP: [208.24.56.117] From: rolp@juno.com To: freekc@yahoo.com CC: nullo@hotmail.com, cairns@irvens.freeserve.co.uk, dbneher@gte.net, haughey@ihug.co.nz, no-tag-request@junoaccmail.org Subject: UEO Gazette - Vol. 1, No. 11 Date: Sun, 31 Oct 1999 13:45:48 -0500 With more plot twist then the average X-Files episode it's the . . . ~~~~~ | | |~~~ | |---| |=== | | | |___ _) _) _)_)_)_) _)_)_)_) _) _) _) _) _) _) _) _)_)_)_) _) _) _) _) _) _) _) _)_)_)_) _)_)_)_) _)_)_)_) GGGGGGG A ZZZZZZZZZZ EEEEEE TTTTTTTT TTTTTTTT EEEEEE G A A Z E TT TT E G GGGG A A ZZ EEEEEE TT TT EEEEEE G G AAAAAAA ZZ E TT TT E GGGGGGG A A ZZZZZZZZZZ EEEEEE TT TT EEEEEE __________________________________________________________________________ Vol. 1, 11 Deanna Toxopeus July 3, 2032 Section A - News Editor -------------------------------------------------------------------------- EXTRA!!! EXTRA!!! NIBOR ESCAPES FROM PRISON - The Amazing Toaster Big Black Pyramid Prison, New Florida- In late breaking news, the UEO has announced that the "radical terrorist" known as Nibor has somehow broken out of the UEO's high security prison, the Big Black Pyramid Prison. Through surveillance cameras, Nibor was seen practicing Tai Chi in his prison cell prior to the escape. What the cameras didn't catch was the "terrorist" dropping two Mentos into a can of Dr. Pepper. The resulting chemical reaction produced an intense "fizz" that filled up his cell. Security guards quickly rushed into the room but were unable to locate Nibor. It is believed that through the confusion produced by the "fizz," Nibor escaped undetected. A review of security video tapes, recreates Nibor's harrowing escape from the Big Black Pyramid Prison. It is believed that Nibor was able to escape the 6 levels of security by munching on several tablets of Mentos and simply walking pass security guards with ease as he assumed the identities of a paparazzi taking pictures of his favorite movie star, a woman with two broken heels, a waiter tired of slow service, a soccer player crashing a wedding, a mannequin trying to ditch his mom, and a "roadie" sneaking in backstage. Once on the ground level, Nibor showed his freshness once again and convinced the driver of the prison tram ride to take him to the parking lot. Reaching the parking lot, the "terrorist" car-jacked a classic 1996 blue, Ford mini-van. The hapless victim of the car-jacking recounted the following to police, "At first I was shocked to see *that* terrorists in my mini-van! But there was something so fresh about him. It must've been those Mentos! So I decided to give the nice young man my mini-van as a gift! Wait till I get home and tell my husband about my brush with freshness!" Unfortunately, there was one last obstacle to Nibor's escape, the hapless driver had paralleled parked and there was no way of pulling out safely from the curb. Luckily four husky, Swedish, construction workers saw Nibor's freshness and decided to lift the little mini-van onto the road. Nibor is believed to be armed and dangerous. His whereabouts are unknown, however, the UEO believes that Nibor is being secretly hidden by a radical Mentos faction known as the Mentos Liberation Front. **** STUDENTS LAUNCH PROTESTS - Owen Salinger UEO Territories - This morning, students throughout the UEO participated in non-violent peaceful protests in support of the escaped "UEO Terrorist" Nibor. At precisely, 11:03 Eastern Standard Time, elementary school children throughout the UEO dropped their pencils simultaneously in somewhat silent protests. At the same time, junior high school students coughed all at once while high school students filled out their scantrons with ball point pens which forced teachers to actually grade by hand. Also in support of Nibor, college students at the same time threw Keg/Toga parties. *** PRISON BREAK IN WV (Reprinted from the UEO Sentinel) Big Blue Round Tower Prison WV- UEO Staff Writer Sue escaped was recaptured and released from Prison today. It is believed she had help from an unknown man dressed as a priest. The unknown man, about 5' 6" tall, showed credentials that named him as Father A. Sipowicz from New capeQuest Church of Jen the Divine. The Security Guards who were on duty at the time could not agree on a definite description. One guard swore he looked like the Alex Winter guy from the "Bill and Ted" movies with darker hair. The other guard thought he looked like one of the big fat actor's sons. None of the guards could agree on any one feature except the nose and a really annoying laugh. **** UeO RELEASES APB FOR SMALL FURRY CREATURE - MiLK At 0330 hours early this morning the UeO announced an all points bulletin be released for the capture and arrest of a small furry creature. "We believe he may have aided the suspect Nibor in his recent escape from the Big Black Pyramid Prison," said Secretary General McGath. "Early reports indicate a suspicious decline in Mentos stock at local area supermarkets. Cashiers reported a small furry creature entering the store to purchase these breath enhancers in bulk. We have no further comment at this time". **** ANOTHER GAZETTE STAFF MEMBER RELEASED -- Sarah THE BIG BLACK PARALLELOGRAM PRISON, NEW INDIA -- After months in prison for unauthorized entry to a UEO facility and assault on a UEO employee, Sarah E. was released today. However, sources suggest that guards freed Sarah without UEO sanction. "She was driving us crazy!" an anonymous guard told the GAZETTE. "She wouldn't shut up! She kept reciting the St. Crispin's Day speech from *Henry V* and singing awful kids' songs that got stuck in our heads!" Prison security videos show Sarah, awkwardly swadled in an ill-folded sari, wearing down the guards with repeated renditions of really annoying songs, such as "The Lonely Goatherd," "I'm Bringing Home a Baby Bumblebee," and "Baby Beluga." After the twentieth consecutive rendition of "Baby Beluga," the guards promised to free Sarah and return her Rock, "If you'll just stop singing that awful song!" She accepted. "They did WHAT?" Secretary McGrath cried, when informed that the GAZETTE writer was free. "And they gave that Rock back to her? If I hadn't turned into a creampuff over the last ten years, I'd have them all court-martialed!" The secretary general renewed his orders for any and all UEO GAZETTE personnel to be arrested on sight. However, due to the staff's great facility with annoying songs, Mentos, and other potentially lethal weapons, arrest seems increasingly unlikely. **** NIBOR'S IMPRISONMENT CAUSING ADVIL SHORTAGE -- Tim O'Neill Everywhere -- Manufacturers report that the vast amounts of Advil used by Nibor supporters in their demonstrations is causing a serious world-wide Advil shortage. "The Cult of Wendy is using it up faster than we can churn it out," an Advil executive says. "Stores are complaining that they can't keep it on the shelves, and consumers are upset." "Talk to the UEO!" a Cult of Wendy spokesperson said. "We will not surrender the world's Advil supplies until Nibor is freed! Advil-users, unite! Until the UEO ceases this persecution, you will have to use inferior imitations. FREE NIBOR!!!!" I'm a frequent Advil user myself -- it does a lot to relieve the stiff, sore feeling I get after being repeatedly thrown out of my chair. Four out of five seaQuest crewmembers prefer Advil to Tylenol! Even Captain Hudson uses Advil to deal with the pain in his hands after punching people out. But since Nibor was arrested, Advil's been hard to get. Secretary McGath, the UEO Navy needs Advil! Free Advil! FREE NI -- >crunch< SORRY HAVE TO TYPE ALL CAPS SO CAN SEE. BEEN THROWN OUT OF CHAIR AGAIN. GLASSES BROKEN. HUDSON VERY IRRITABLE BECAUSE PUNCHING HAND SORE AND NO ADVIL ON BOAT. UEO, WE *NEED* ADVIL. IF ONLY TO STOP PAIN IN THE NAVY, YOU MUST FREE NIBOR!! **** S.P.A.M. PROTEST UeO MASS IMPRISONMENTS - MiLK The Society for Prevention of Abuse to Marsupials, or "SPAM", denounced the UeO today after hundreds of mass arrests by UeO security personnel. "They are on a witch hunt, when the only people they should be imprisoning are themselves! The world would be a better place WITHOUT the UeO!" The UeO refused to comment. **** BLACK MARKET PROFITS ON THE RISE - gromit Neo-Ypsilanti, Great Lakes Federation- The UEO's ban of Advil, hot dog wieners, and Mentos has unexpectedly created a lucrative underground black market. Originally, the ban was an attempt by the UEO to thwart the rising dissatisfaction with the UEO among its citizens and to prevent anymore rioting or protesting. The UEO's efforts to promote Tylenol (even though everyone knows that two tablets of Advil are better than two tablets of Tylenol), turkey wieners (instead of the traditional processed meat), and Lance Candies (AKA the Anti-Mento) has backfired and produced high demand of the banned products. It's become so profitable to sell black market goods that the Columbian Cartel has switched to smuggling Advil into the UEO instead of the traditional cocaine. Prices for Advil, hot dog wieners, Mentos on the black market have soared. In fact, the current street value of a single Mento is about 59 UEO Credits. "But how can you put a price on freshness?!? I think 59 UEO Credits is a fair attempt!" commented "Bus-Winker," a Mentos street pusher. **** DETAILS OF ESCAPE COME TO LIGHT (Reprinted from the UEO Sentinel) More details of the escape and subsequent release of Gazette Staffer Sue have been released. It is believed that a Priest Imposter smuggled Mentos, a can of Coke, a lighter and a can of hair spray into the prison. It was believed that when the rest of the prisoners were in the mess, she added the roll of Mentos to the warm Coke causing the explosion that blew the door from her cell. She moved about the prison through the air conditioning ducts. One Prisoner who was in Isolation at the time, Swami Bachtipahd formerly of New Vrindbahan Krshna Community reported the noises in the ducts to the guards on his floor. A section of ductwork was removed revealing the escaped prisoner who immediately yelled "WEENIE ROAST!!!" and used the can of hair spray and a lighter as a flamethrower. Several Guards were singed in the incident as the prisoner then ran to the elevator and escaped once more. She stopped by the Swami's cell long enough to leave this threat, "Shut up old man or I will force feed you red meat." She was captured again on the next level down and injured more Guards while yelling, "You can't get me, I'll kick you where it hurts!" And she did. She was later released when she refused to sit down and stop singing the Gazette National Anthem "Margaritaville". On her release she yelled, "McGath is a Weenie! The UEO Sucks! Free Nibor!" Then she danced to "Macarena" on her way to an unmarked waiting van. **** FUGITIVES HIJACK SUB - MiLK New capeQuest, New Florida - The UeO has reported the loss of one stinger mini-sub today when a pair of mysterious strangers slipped past the guards and hijacked the sub earlier today. "Thesa two guyz, you know, theysa come up and saysa, 'Hey, we delivering the pizza, shesa good, Captain Hudson aska for Stuffed Crust Hemlock,' so I sayza sure, taka the Stinger, shesa fast you know? Well, next thing I know, the captain, hesa yelling bloody murder at me and tries to charge me with mutiny!", said Ensign Piccolo. When asked to describe the suspects, he replied "Yea, that wasa the strangest thing, you know? One was small and furry, and they both had nice fresh breath. The tall one, hesa throw some Mentos at me and they were gone. They were quite charming, even though if they weren't chewing Mentos I'd probably knock their teeth out for being irritating, ya know?" **** LOCATION OF ESCAPED GAZETTE PERSONNEL REVEALED -- Sarah UEO GAZETTE HEADQUARTERS -- All the UEO Gazette personnel are hiding in the... HA! Gotcha! You didn't actually think we'd TELL you where we are, did you? Oh, McGath, McGath, McGath... when will you learn? **** UEO TRIES NEGOTIATION -- Tim O'Neill UEO HQ, New capeQuest -- Today the UEO attempted to set up talks with the Cult of Wendy about Advil. Many UEO citizens, irritated at being deprived of their favorite pain killer, have been pressuring secretary-general McGath to free Nibor, so that Advil will no longer be "wasted" in protest demonstrations. Though unwilling to release the "agent of sedition," McGath proclaimed himself eager to negotiate with the Cult of Wendy for Advil rights. However, the only people authorized to conduct such negotiations are Cult founder Nibor and/or his associate Roberto. Nibor, for those who've just been revived from ten-year meditative comas, has been imprisoned by the UEO for sedition. As a member of the UEO Gazette staff and an associate of Nibor's, Roberto is also being pursued and has been forced into hiding. McGath refuses to negotiate with "seditionist" Nibor, and Roberto refuses to come out of hiding to talk with "fascist" McGath. Special thanks go to President Ben Krieg of the United Islands of California for finding a supplier to send me new glasses, enabling me to write this article. **** NEW "ANVIL" SPOKESPERSON NAMED - gromit New Quinto Colony, Antarctic Rhomboid- Rival Advil competitor, Anvil, has just announced that Dr. Elizabeth Perry of seaQuest will become it's new spokesperson. Anvil also announced their commercial campaign slogan, "Advil Sucks, We're Better!" This announcement comes only days after Dr. Kristen Westphalen, formerly of seaQuest, was named spokesperson for Macronesian Relief. Macronesian Relief also released it's new slogan, "It Even Makes Hudson Go Away!" In response, an Advil public relations worker responded, "They're trying to rip us off! We had Dr. Smith first and now they're trying to copy us! So what if we have only one commercial! Everyone loves Wendy!" **** UeO GELF PRISON ISLAND LIBERATED - MiLK It's A Small World (Gelf Prison Island) - At 2300 hours late Wednesday night a solo Stinger mini-sub, believed to the one stolen from a UeO base earlier in the day, launched a salvo of subduction torpedoes at a UeO Gelf Internment Camp. Satellite communications have been disabled, however early radio reports indicate that the Gelf prisoners have been freed. One witness reported a "fresh minty-breath guy yelling about saving the psychics next". UeO officials declined to comment. *** STRANGE SIGHT AT UEO DOCKS -- Sarah UEO Docks - When coming on for the day shift this morning, security guards at the UEO Docks in New New Delhi found the night watchman unconscious. Upon being revived, the man stated that a western woman in a sari hit him with a rock. "Well, she wasn't really in a sari," he amended. "It was not folded right. She had just wrapped it around her body like a toga." Doctors dismissed this as a concussion-associated hallucination. However, someone did break in to the docks last night and stole the prototype of an improved model of the "Stinger"-type mini-sub. The mini-sub, known as the "Gazelle," was patented by Captain Katherine Hitchcock of the H.R.Clinton, which is currently docked at New New Delhi. Captain Hitchcock denies that the sub was stolen. "Some friends of mine are testing it," she told reporters. "The disappearance of the Gazelle has no relation to the watchman's injury." Curiously enough, an crewman who wishes to remain anonymous reports that he saw Captain Hitchcock painting a name on the Gazelle prototype. "She called it the "Gazette Gazelle," he said. *** STAFFER SUE FREE- Tony Piccolo I have been contcated by Sue. She's free but in hidnig until things cool dwon. She said that in prsion she was Interogeted by Sectoin Seven. They wanted to know who she was contcating on the outside becauze they could not trace any calls or electornic activity. So she said, "Maybe i'ts my psychic friends network." Pretty funny, huh? So I still have to write for her and NO, Lucas didn't upgrade this machien yet! And dosen't even ask me where she is. I don't know. I am late for that Department of Health meeting in the Wreck Room. **** McGATH BLOWN OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH - Prime Oracle East Dakota - Yesterday evening, an unidentified woman literally blew UEO Secretary McGath off the face of the earth. The woman apparently planted plastic explosives around McGath's face on Mt. Rushmore and blew the face off the mountain. "Its sacrilege that McGath would put his face right next to our forefathers! How dare he! That's why I blew him off the face of the earth! FREE GHARLANE OF EDDORE!!!!" the woman said in her defense to the judge. However, Judge Robert Lawsen sentenced the woman to life in prison and hard labor without possibility of parole! While Judge Lawsen handed the verdict, he berated the guilty woman, "If you blew up McGath to protest the imprisonment of Nibor, I would've set you free! But you did it for Gharlane of Eddore!" It was later revealed that, in 2008, Judge Lawsen was a producer of "The Flying Nun In Space" series and that Gharlane had trashed the show which caused its cancellation. Unfortunately, when the woman's lawyers brought the case to the Supreme Court, the Supreme Court upheld the Judges decision. Ironically, the Supreme Court was entirely made up of ex-producers who's shows were canceled because of Gharlane. *** __________________________________________________________________________ Vol. 1, 11 Section B - Lifestyles July 3,2032 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- UEO SPIES MAKE ATTEMPTS ON THE LIFE OF GAZETTE EDITOR - AN INVESTIGATIVE REPORT by Wolf Molder (Reprinted from Conspiracies Weekly) Somewhere really top secret, so secret we can't tell you, so don't even ask, okay we'll drop a hint, it's somewhere on earth, hey, don't yell, that's all your getting - Gazette editor Deanna has had several attempts on her life made in the past few months. Gazette observers are beginning to get suspicious that the UEO, frustrated in its attempts to arrest the dissident leader of its most vocal group of critics, has resorted to more direct means. In February, Deanna came down with a very bad case of food poisoning. Apparently some one had poisoned her tomato juice. Luckily Deanna realized what was going on and began to induce vomiting. Then in April, Deanna came down with pneumonia. Only heavy doses of anti-biotics and chicken soup (loving made by an unnamed UEO officer. No I can't tell you who it is, okay a hint, he's a great dancer) kept her alive. It took her a month to recover completely, yet she continued her efforts to spread the truth and free her colleagues. Then June came along, and Deanna fell in the shower. After much investigation, I have discovered that the UEO has used special polymers on the bottom of her tub. These apparently make the surface slippery once water and Ivory soap scum have bonded with it. The UEO has researched Deanna very well. Luckily Deanna is a trained faller, after so many years of horseback riding, and was able to catch herself. The shaving cream bottle (left behind by that compassionate UEO officer no doubt, although there was a certain smell to it that really reminded me of Old Spice) did cause quite a large bruise on her arm though. Strangely enough the following message was received by Deanna from yet another unnamed UEO officer (no not the shaving cream guy nor the chicken soup guy, this guy speaks in tongues a lot) just prior to the first attack. "Hi. I just got a strange message that I think is intended for the UEO Gazette. Strangely, when it came in, it was in Portuguese Pig-Latin and it took me a while to translate. Anyway, it reads: "Message intercepted: Gazette editor hide out located. Attempt subterfuge by lethal food poisoning. Remain discreet." I'm not sure, but it sounds like someone is trying to poison the editor. I'm passing this along to the editor, so Deanna, be careful." From this evidence, it is clear that Deanna has been targeted by the UEO for assassination. Of course, secretary General McGath denies all knowledge of this plot. "Look, if we wanted to take out Deanna, she would be dead. The UEO does its job well." Editor Deanna had the following response: "McGath is a weeney and a chicken to boot, hiding behind intelligent agents, spies and commandoes. If WimpBoy has a problem with me, then he had better come out and settle it, like a man. That's if he isn't a chicken." Deanna then proceeded to crush an oil drum with her bare hands. McGath has yet to respond to the challenge, but he was seen huddled in the back of a black limo that was speeding away from UEO HQ. Be advised that we will follow this story. **** Dear UEO Gazette, It has come to my attention that people have been worried about my welfare. I just wanted to tell everyone that I'm enjoying myself! I really don't understand this whole "Save Nibor" thing. I'm just on vacation you know! The hotel I'm staying in is quite nice with an interesting Egyptian motif. It's even in the shape of a pyramid and they even serve real Egyptian food! It's kinda like Lex Luthor's Lexor Hotel in Old Vegas. The service is fantastic! The manager told me I could stay here as long as I wanted! I'm just having so much fun here! One of the high points of my day is listening to Gharlane of Eddore's ranting and raving. I always find Gharlane's speeches fascinating, but most of the time I just don't know what the heck he's saying, so I just smile and nod my head. The only odd thing is that the manager keeps asking me about some woman named "Wendy." I keep telling him that the only Wendy I know is a Pippi Longstocking wannabe who owns a fast food chain. Anyways, I've gotta be going, room service is bring in my daily vitamins! I really love the green pills because they taste like chicken and let me fly like a bird! It's like being the Flying Nun! I love flying because I get to fly to the Land of the Sock Monkeys! Okay, bye. 8-) Sincerely, Nibor *** Dear UEO Gazette, I AM *NOT* DATING COMMANDER JOHNATHON FORD OF SEAqUEST!!!! I'm happily married to my WIFE and I have NO interest in dating another man! For the past four months, the tabloids have exploited a false rumor regarding my psuedo-relationship with Commander Ford! How the hell did this get started!?! Mr. Obatu Nairobian Ambassador *** Dear UEO Gazette, They say I'm crazy because I have this chip in my head! They say I'm delusional and paranoid! But I know the truth! I fear for my life! Someone is trying to kill me! In fact, I think they're going to make it look like I died fighting a new enemy! I'm afraid to say it, but I think its Hu... <<<<<<<>>>>>> *** NIBOR LAKE-RIVER-BAY 1492! 2:00 PM, NIBS With the disappearance of talk show host, Nibor Lake-River-Bay, NIBS has decided to hire temporary hosts to fill Nibor's shoes. This week's host will be President Alexander Bourne of the Macronesian Alliance. Today's topic: "Oliver Hudson: What A Big Weeney!" Tomorrow's topic: "Love: Macronesian Style!" Next Week's host: The Chaodai Chick. *** NIBOR & WENDY 1996 9:00 PM, NIBS With the disappearance of one of the series' star, Nibor & Wendy will rerun the special, one hour long, star studded, episode, "Excuse Me Ma'am, Is That A Banana In Your Pocket???" This particular episode is regarded as one of the best episodes ever and even won Nibor an Emmy for writing this episode. The episode centers around a newlywed couple (Rush Limbaugh, RuPaul) that moves in across the hall from Nibor & Wendy. Things get wacky when Gharlane of Eddore suspects "everything ain't Kosher" with the bride (RuPaul). Gharlane then enlists the aide of Nibor & Wendy to literally help to *uncover* the truth. How far will Gharlane, Nibor, & Wendy go? A comedy of epic proportion! Also starring: Neptune (Bob the plumber), Bjork (prison warder/wacky next door neighbor 2), Loni Henderson (anonymous toe-licker), Bill Clinton (Mrs. Sock Monkey), Cindy Crawford ("weird man in the men's bathroom"). *** THAT'S PAT 4592 8:00 PM, NBCEE Debuting tonight. NBCEE unleashes another one of its infamous comedies, "That's Pat 4592!" The sitcom is based on an old Saturday Night Live sketch in which people desperately try to figure out the gender of the androgynous Pat. The new version features guests stars who not only have to figure out if Pat is male or female, but they also have to figure out if Pat is a Roman or Greek god (or maybe Pat is just a wieners!) *** __________________________________________________________________________ Vol. 1, 11 Section C - Classifieds July 3,2032 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- FOR SALE All Nibor stuff for sale! With the persecution of Nibor, all Nibor merchandise have risen in price! I'm selling Nibor's Amazing Toasters, Nibor comics (Issues #1 - # 257), Nibor Lake-River-Bay's international sign of "Don't Go There!", Nibor cucumber salad forks, Nibor & Wendy commemorative plates from the Franklin Mint, Nibor's Weeney Roast Sticks, and an autographed Mentos roll! 555-GROM. gromit. *** WANTED Bodyguard. Need someone to protect me from irate critic. 555-WIMP. *** BEWARE Beware of penguins and mechanized trousers (last seen heading north)! *** MESSAGE Dear Secretary-General McGath, Much as I enjoyed your hospitality, I feel it is time for me to be moving on. Your employees agree; they seem to have tired of my company. I DO wish they'd returned my own clothes, or at least found someone to teach me how to how to fold this thing right... ANYWAY, you can try to find me -- in fact, I would feel disappointed, unloved, and neglected if you didn't -- but you are highly unlikely to succeed. I'm going underground to protect myself. Happy hunting! Yours Truly Sarah of the Rock P.S. FREE NIBOR! P.P.S. THE UEO SUCKS!! P.P.P.S. OLIVER HUDSON IS A GREAT BIG WIENER!!! *** MESSAGE FROM SUE- Tony Piccolo Here is a message from Sue- Hey, everyone I am fine. Thank all of you for your concern. I am still going to stay in hiding for a while but I will begin sending my own articles in soon. I want to thank Tony and Dagwood for helping out, you just can't stop the presses! Also, thanks to Nick and Marie for hiding me in the attic for a while. I hope nobody bothers them, I have moved on. I can't wait to see Rufio, Mars, Roberto, Sarah, Deanna and Nibor again! I missed you guys and hope you are all safe now. We need to throw a big party when we get back together. Take care. **** Special Advertising Supplement They're back, and they have fresh minty breath. Nibor and Marsupial's Most Excellent Adventure ][: The Wrath of Mentos The critics rave: "Stuuuupendous! Hyuk hyuk hyuk" -B'harney "These two should be locked away in a mental institution" - S.G.McGath, UeO "I think the tall one's cute" - Dr. W. S., MD, Psychic for Hire "This is complete garbage. I'd rather watch seaQuest." - G. of Eddore "Would you like fries with that?" - O. Hudson Coming soon to a theater near you. Rated PG-15 1/2 *********************** "And I hear them saying, you'll never change things / Deanna Toxopeus And no matter what you do it's still the same thing / Carleton University But it's not the world that I am changing / dtoxopeu@ccs.carleton.ca I do this so this world will know / St. John Ambulance Brigade That it will not change me" / MA Student - Canadian History The Change - Garth Brooks / Questie, Sentinel, fanfic author ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com