Date: Fri, 05 JUL 1996 20:09:59 -0500 From: "B.LORCH" Subject: PUT THIS ON YOUR PAGE! Please? Earth 2 FAQ! (Updated!) by A.j. (and whoever else wants to help out.) Howdy, all. I noticed that we don't have a very updated edition of a FAQ, so I thought I'd start one. Remember, this is totally experimental and way not completely right. I sometimes get info second hand (no one tells me anything relevant when I need it,) so just know that I answer the questions to the best of my ability. (Smile) Warning: Silliness Ahead. What the heck is Earth 2? Earth 2 was a television show that aired during the 1994-1995 season. The main plot went something like this: Really cool boss chick has kid, kid's sick. Boss chick arranges a colony expidition to a new world because she thinks that the addition of natural surroundings will improve the dying kid's chances. Main government freaks don't like the fact that Boss chick is getting out from under their collective iron thumb so they decide to sabotage the big space hauler thing so it goes 'BOOOM!' when it leaves the dock. (No offense to the people who designed the models, but I sure as hell didn't see any water around that thing.) Anyways, due to A.) devine intervention and B.) the brave act of a certain Brawny, Blond, (totally bodacious) Mechanic Guy, the ship *didn't* go 'BOOOM!' and everybody including Cute but somewhat annoying government guy, Cornflower girl (Government guy's wife), Doc Blonde, Fly-guy, Accent-man-with-a-plate- in-his-head-and-a-neato-glove, cool young chick, sofa brain, necraphobic man, tall-cute-silent-guy#1, tall-cute-silent-guy#2, Old guy, cool silent-chick#1, cool blonde chick, and Cool silent-chick#2 didn't get dead. The colony ship and the advance ship (which will get to the planet 2 years before the colony ship) go away to the planet. 22 years later (they got stuck in some neato things that looked like toilet paper tubes with glass on the front and didn't age,) they got to the planet and were going to set up the colony. BUUUUT.... Something happened and the advance ship and it started to go 'Kablooey.' But our cool people mentioned above got all in the same little escape pod and fell to earth (2.) Anyway, more cool effects stuff happens and the Kid gets healed and they all start traveling to the place where they are supposed to set up a colony. (Pilot) They meed God-complex man and he gains the trust of the group and betrays them and hurts the Terrians, so Uly starts to hurt. Cool young chick falls under his spell because her dad, mechanic guy is busy working and stuff and he doesn't pay attention to her. She helps God-complex man but eventually helps take him down. God-complex man gets sucked into the earth by the Terrians. (Gall Arch) Okay, now we're at my favorite part. Boss chick and mechanic guy go looking for water and get in a *really* embarassing situation. She has to go diving in his lap for A.) a canteen B.) a knife because the Terrians (I love those rotting corpses) tied them up. (Bondage is a good look for these two.) Oh yeah, Doc Blonde and Fly-guy are starting a tentative relationship. Goverment guy and Cornflower girl have a fight when the discover that they're marrige contract isn't valid. They then get remarried in by Accent man. They have this cool receptiong in Virtual Reality where *everyone* looks really spiff. The 'evil doctor' is given another facet. This leads to..... (Some neato exposisive episodes.) Doc Blonde gets discovered to be a spy for the freaks who wanted to make the whole coloney go *Kablooey!* in space. She gets kicked out, but Fly-guy (who's in love with her *definitely* by now,) goes back for her and drags her back into the group. She has to prove herself, and she does when a *really* Freaky guy shows up and shoots Mechanic guy in the leg with a bullet that keeps travelling and will explode an hour after it enters the body. She does all sorts of cool brave stuff but ends up hurting her arm disarming the disarmable *really* freaky guy. So, she can't remove the bullet from Mechanic guy, so boss chick has to. Everybody's fine and Doc Blonde cuts all ties with her 'bosses' by throwing this little pilly thing over a cliff. (I never figured that out, so I have no clue.) (Evil Doctor Arch) They all get stuck in a greenhouse over the winter that was conveniently left by political prisoners who were killed buy outcast Terrians many years ago. (Can we say set up?) Anyway, lots of adventures happen. Kid gets in touch with his 'Terrian side', Government guy explores his greed and redeems himself while Accent man explores his past and discovers he's *not* a criminal. Mechanic guy gets sick and wanders into a penal colony, and Boss chick meets her 'dream lover'. Mechanic guy is quired about his love for boss chick. Doc Blonde, Fly-guy, boss chick, and mechanic guy go through a neato spider induced cave and end up 6,000 km from where they're supposed to be. Boss chick starts to admit feelings for mechanic guy. By this time, Doc and Fly-guy are way in love and are probably having some nice evenings in their army-surplus-cots. Mechanic guy gets possessed by an evil Terrian, boss chick gets flashes of her kid's future, government guy, Doc, fly-guy, and mechanic guy get lost, almost starve, and eat a grendler. The mate seeks revenge. (Extended greenhouse arch) People get puffed in the face by pollen and make spring. They leave the greenhouse. They don't make it far. Everyone starts getting sick and they find this starship from earth. More discoveries are made, everyone but boss chick gets well, and she almost dies, so they stick her in the toilt paper tubes with glass on the front until a later date. (Flower child and All About Eve) Unfortuanately, there wasn't a later date. What are the names of the people mentioned above? The () under the paragraphs tell which story-arch or episode I'm explaining. My name Character name Cool Boss Chick: Devon Adair Brawny, blond, mechanic Guy: John Danziger Kid: Uly Adair Cute Government Guy: Morgan Martin Cornflower Girl: Bess Martin Doc Blonde: Dr. Julia Heller Fly-Guy: Alonzo Solace Accent-man-with-cool-glove: Yale (Braydon Croix) Cool young chick: True Danziger Sofa Brain: Walman (there is still a debate if his name is Walter Neuman or Walbert Walman.) Necraphobic Man: Baines Tall,cute,silent guy #1: Mazatl Tall,cute,silent guy #2: Cameron Old Guy: Brodrick O'Neill Cool, silent chick #1: Eben Syng Cool, silent chick #2: Denner (I named her Elisha. =) ) Cool blonde chick: L. Magus freaks: Council members *really* freaky guy: Z.E.D. Is any of this number now dead? Well, not in real life, but sadly (or not so sadly) Brodrick O'Neill died in episode #2, when he encountered Gaal. Real more sadly, Eben Syng died in the last episode. (You are missed.) Who *is* God-Complex Man? A slightly (snort) psychotic penal colonist who enslaved the Terrians and mesmerised cool young chick. (Tim Curry is a good actor even *out* of heels..) He wormed his way into the heart of the Eden group by posing as a down-on-his-luck drifter. He also paid attention to cool young chick when her father was busy, thereby winning her affection and trust. He lies, cheats, and eventually tries to steal his way through the whole group. The group eventually discovers his nasty business and kicks him outta the group. Unfortunately, he has a way big claim on cool young chick, and uses her for info. Eventually, Gaal gets dragged underground by the same Terrians he enslaved. (ah, he deserved it, he was a scummbag.) Who are the Terrians? The natives of G889. They can swim through the ground and do lots of cool stuff. They don't take to water well (and we girls think we bloat..) and have neato sticks that can channel lightning. Boss chick's kid was saved by them and is now half Terrian. The are supposed to be 'at one with the earth.' They use the 'Dream Plane' as a means of communication. They also look like rotted out corpses. Kinda freaky. What the *Heck* is the 'Dream Plane'? A means of communication for the Terrians. =P Only certain people in Eden Advance can initiate contact on the DP, Fly-Guy being one of them. The Kid has the potential, but it is (as of the season cliffer) unrealized. The DP is basically set in the surroundings one is in at the time of contact. You can tell that you are on the DP by the weird LSDy-way everything looks and moves. ~~do-do~~do-do~~~~~do-do~~do-do~~ Twilight Zone magnified. Why did they cancel it? Because executives are mean people who only think about money, and not the fans. Where can you get your E2 fix now? Sci-Fi Channel RULES!! They picked up E2 for the fall. It'll show in reruns!! Fan fiction RULES!! Check out some of the stuff cool talented people write on: Andy's page , Inga's page Dawn's page or Frank's page (Ask this after you read some of the Fanfic) Why do so many people want Boss chick and Mechanic Guy together? Because they make a *cute* couple and she went searching around in his lap 3 (count 'em *3*) times. Not once, not twice, but *_THREE_* times. That was enough to make my hardcore-romance reading, psychotic best friend blush. (They may not have kissed, but the *CHEMISTRY* between these two practically blew up my TV.) Why do so many people want Doc Blonde and Fly-guy together? Because A.) they kissed on screen and B.) they're young and attractive and deserve to be together. Besides, they'd have (disgustingly) cute kids. Why do so many women like Government Guy? Because when we see him, our maternal instincts go into hyper-drive. Besides, that man is just *darn* handsome. He is also (because of is flaws) a very human character and we can relate to him. As much as we'd like to think we would act like Boss chick or Mechanic guy or Fly-guy, on an 'extended camping trip from hell' we all, deep down, know that we *would* act like Government Guy. Why does cool young chick scream so much? Because she has a *great* set of lungs. Why did they shove Boss chick in the toilet paper tube with glass on it in the season cliffer? A.) High DRAMA! B.) The actress was preggers and they needed a good excuse to get her out of the first few eps of the next season. Unfortunately, there wasn't a 'next season', so we are all still wondering. "How the hell does she get out!?" My personal pet theory is this: See, there's this *really* big Gerbil... How many ways are there to kill a peacock? Well, let's see.... WHAT!? We *can't* bash the peacock anymore? Why? Oh, that makes sense. Due to animal rights activists, the previous question. 'How many ways are there to kill a peacock?' will not be answered. What is a Grendler? Big ugly thing that likes to collect stuff. (Hey, that sounds like my car...) It also drools alot. (There goes *that* comparison.) That drool is actually the cure-all people have been searching for for ages. (It even cures the ::gasp:: common cold!) They also have a taste for human blood. (Gee, that comparison is starting to make sense again...) Anyway, for further info on Grendler activities and general stuff, check out Grendler University, where you shouldn't step on anything. (Someone might be living there....) What are Kobas? These weird little lizardy things that look a lot like someone's mutant toddler. They have big eyes < B-) > and *huge* heads. (Inga's always wondered why they don't fall over since they're so top heavy. Me, I've always wondered about Pamela Lee.) They also caused the burial of Old Guy in the pilot. Unfortunately, they're little stinger things (what Old Guy go shot with) aren't deadly. They only put you in a coma for a day or so. Poor Old Guy. What *exactly* is the Boss chick's kid's connedtion with the Terrians? As far as I know, they drug him underground and did some ~spooky~ thing with his DNA. Now, he sorta maybe has some of the Terrian's abilities. (He can stick his hand into solid stone without bruising it. Now *that's* a talent klutzy people want.) Now he's all healthy and doesn't have to walk around in that wacky, hot, Frankenstieny thing. Oh yeah, when the Terrians or planet suffer, so does he. (::Turning to Inga:: Hey, does that mean if they cut down a tree... ::Inga hits A.j., trying to get her mind out of the gutter [and get back at her about the 'Grendlers are ugly' comment.]::) Ow! ::rubs head:: Fine. I'll go back to making some sense. How did the Biodome come about? Well, these guys in hard hats came with lots of wood and metal and glass, and they... <> (Inga smacks A.j. again) Um, uh okay. ::shakes head to clear it::: Uh, sorry. Well, it was getting cold during the filming (yes, it snows in New Mexico) and instead of going through the hassle of spending lots of money to film 'on the road' shots, they spent lots of money and put up a stationary winter camp. It did turn out pretty spiff though. But, I did feel that bit of good luck was a little contrived. Ah, well, what on television isn't? Who's Mary? How did she get into the picture? Well, Mary was one of the Terrian's first attempts to encorparate the human 'virus' into the 'body' of the planet. Unfortunately, due to lack of human 'grounding' as it were (Mary's parents were killed by outcast Terrians, therefore they could not guide her into and through the human emotions she is feeling,) she did not serve well as the 'bridge' between the species. Hrmm... How did she get into the picture? See, when a man and woman fall in love/lust they... ::A.j. quickly moves head to avoid incoming blow. Unfortunately, she smacks her head on the moniter:: OUCH! OKAY! I'll try and stop the adolecent hormones that sometimes rush my brain. Geez, that's gonna bruise. Anyway, Alonzo found Mary when the outcast Terrians tried to attack him. He brought her to camp and tried to show her what humans were like. She didn't like it, so she went back to the Terrians. This was a good thing because she ended up saving accent guy's life when he traded himself for Government Guy and Cornflower girl when they petrified the land and almost killed a Terrian. ::Whew:: A.j. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.