Earth 2 Misc Stuff - G889 Ulympics (Koba TV)
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KOBA-TV Presents the G889 Ulympics
By Annie Brill White
Okay, let's see if I can get this out before Wonky the mail-eating Fun Blob visits Stargame again, or my tendinitis puts me out of commission.
KOBA-TV presents, in the spirit of commercialism, the G889 Uly-mpics!
Roster:
Archery - Kitty the Koba
Women's Marathon - B. Martin
Pole Vault - M. Martin
VR-Chip Throw and Team Doctor - J. Heller
High Jump - Terrians
100-meter Shuffle - Grendlers
Weightlifting - Cameron
Wrestling - A. Solace
Judo - B. Croy, a.k.a. "Yale"
Women's Judo - D. Adair
Wrench Throw - J. Danziger
Individual Dressage - T. Danziger
Bobsled - U. Adair
Target Shooting - Zed
Dream Team Basketball - A. Solace and Terrians
And finally, up in the booth, our commentators Reilly and Eve.
Rules: (a.k.a. "Ms. Adair's Orders")
- 1. Ulympic torch must be lit by Terrian lightning-stick on the first try.
- 2. Any male competitor showing signs of "super-strength" will report immediately to the Team Doctor for *extensive* examinations.
- 3. Terrians competing in high jump must start underground.
- 4. Pole vault participants must clear the bar. Hanging upside down from the bar will result in disqualification.
- 5. Women's Marathon course will run due north, and will finish in the traditional crater bungee-jump.
- 6. Team Doctor will be allowed to participate in VR-Chip throwing event, but may only participate in women's judo in VR.
- 7. Equestrian dressage has been cancelled, due to horse running away. We were unable to replace Pegasus, since no one was able to find a can opener.
- 8. Wrestling events will be held in the Earth plane only. This includes 10,000-year-old evil Terrians. Evil Terrians must remain in their own bodies.
- 9. Target shooters are prohibited from using worm bullets. Please refrain from blowing up the targets.
- 10. Women's judo - throwing your opponent over a cliff is strictly prohibited.
- 11. Body blocks are permitted in judo, but weapons are to be avoided.
- 12. In the absence of a dressage event, Miss Danziger will assist with the wrench toss by handing out wrenches.
- 13. No talking by competitors in the weightlifting contest.
- 14. Archers must use their own weapons. No firing of revolvers allowed!
- 15. Participants in the 100-meter shuffle must complete the entire course. Use of spider tunnels will result in disqualification.
- 16. All basketball games shall be played on the Dream Plane. They are, after all, the Dream Team. No Terrian staffs allowed on the court.
- 17. Bobsledder must share the bobsled with Dressage Rider. No exceptions!
- 18. Opening ceremonies must not last more than 2 hours.
- 19. There shall be no heartwarming profiles of athletes, or jumping from events in the middle of the broadcast. Any commentators named "Elfie" will be fired immediately.
- 20. Anyone who disobeys Ms. Adair's orders shall be punished by being forced to watch ALL of the Endburg moments over, and over, and over...
Let the games begin!!!!
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Ann Brill White - Trekkie, Earthie, X-phile, Peaker, fanfic writer
"Oh, please continue with your petty bickering. I find it fascinating."
- Lt. Cdr Data, ST:TNG
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Member, E2:EA, FSA, BCI, Obsidian Order, BO'BEB, USS Chesapeake
http://umsa7.ums.edu/~anniebw/index.html
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Last updated on 4th November 1998.
Copyright © 1996-98 by Aleksander Rozman - Andy (Andy TECHnologies - ATECH)
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